The Drabbles Collection
by Reizbar-Ookami
Summary: So this is just a bunch of drabbles. Mostly puppyshipping. Now with puzzleshipping and tendershipping!
1. Public Displays of Affection: K Plus

Public Displays of Affection

Public Displays of Affection

"Seto?

The brunet didn't even look up from his computer to answer. "Hmm?"

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"Of course not, puppy."

"Do you find me attractive?"

"Yes, puppy. …Almost too attractive for your own good."

"…Do you like to touch me?"

"Very much so, puppy."

"So why don't you do it in public?" Joey blinked as the CEO sputtered and turned a bright shade of red that he hadn't even known possible, raising an eyebrow as he fell out of his chair. "Seto?"

"W-why would you want me to commit such a lewd act in public!? That's reserved for private and _only_ for private!" Seto exclaimed, glaring at him. "I'm not an exhibitionist!"

The blond blinked innocently, then imitated his boyfriend in turning an attractive shade of red. "_Seto!_ I didn't mean touching like _that!_" He covered his face, trying to make the thought go away. "That… that…! You _pervert!_"

"Well make what you mean clearer!"

"I meant why we never hold hands or kiss each other in public," he explained, uncovering his face and frowning. "I mean… you can barely keep your hands off of me when we're in private, so why don't you touch me in public?"

Seto sighed and rested his elbows on his knees. "…I don't know, Joey. I suppose it was beaten out of me. You'll notice that I don't even show Mokuba much affection in public. It's just… not something I do."

"…I see," Joey answered, then stood up from sitting on the bed and offered him a hand to help him to his feet. "I'm sorry I asked about it."

The brunet sighed and waved it away. "Never mind. You had every right to ask. I'm sorry, puppy."

"Oh! It's no problem! I was just wondering!" he laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "I… I think I'm going to go get a coffee or something."

"…Wait a minute and I'll come with you." When the blond nodded, he smiled and saved his work, then closed the laptop and stood. "Let's go."

Joey smiled innocently. "Okay."

-x-x-x-

Now that he looked for it, he realized that Seto kept a good six inches between them. …And he did it unconsciously. He'd inch closer, and Seto would inch away. When they brushed hands, he'd put his hand in his pocket. He felt his burning hatred for the brunet's step-father grow exponentially; it was _his_ fault that they couldn't be intimate in public.

…Of course… people can be trained _out_ of bad habits…

Seto blinked and looked down at his hand as the blond grabbed it, then stomped down on the urge to pull away. The hopeful look that Joey was giving out of the corner of his eye was too much; he didn't want to see the disappointment he'd cause if he recoiled.

Joey smiled brightly and leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek. "I love you lots, Seto."

He blushed lightly and rolled his eyes. "I love you too, puppy."

"Don't be like that! You know you like it!"

"Tch… I like it. That doesn't mean I have to enjoy the publicity we're going to get now that we're showing public affection."

"Pft! Who cares!"

"It could be bad for my business."

"…Yeah, what's your point?"

Seto sighed loudly, then turned to face his boyfriend, scowling at him. "Puppy, do us both a favor and shut up and kiss me."

The blond smiled went up on his toes to meet lips with him. "Yes, sir!"


	2. No Good, Very Bad Day: K

No Good, Very Bad Day

No Good, Very Bad Day

Seto sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head in his hands. He only needed to survive one more half hour before he could allow himself to go home. …He had no idea if he could make it, though. So far, his computer had crashed because a rival company had infected it with a deadly virus, he'd found that he had to lecture Mokuba on not insulting his teachers—which he hated to do, because damn it, the kid was as smart as he was at that age—he'd nearly ruined a merger beneficial to both his company and another which would have opened more jobs, he hadn't slept in thirty-four hours—and had only gotten four hours of sleep before that—and he hadn't eaten since five-thirty that morning.

He didn't think he'd make it.

-x-x-x-

"Hey, Yuri! Seto in his office?" Joey asked, striding past the secretary's desk toward the two large doors leading into his boyfriend's office. He let out a yelp as she suddenly grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back. "Ack-!"

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you, Joey," she whispered, frowning. "He's had a very bad day. Even Mokuba said to avoid him when he got this bad."

The blond frowned. "Oh, man. We had a date!" He sighed and looked back at the door. "…Well, I guess it'll just have to wait."

She nodded and smiled in relief. "That would probably be best."

"…Can I see your computer real quick?"

"Huh? Of course."

"Thanks."

-x-x-x-

Seto lifted his head as his laptop (he thanked _God_ that it had been his office computer that had crashed and not his laptop) pinged, informing him of a new email. He pondered whether he really wanted to open it and suffer more, then sighed; a CEO's work was never finished. He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

_To: Seto Kaiba_

_From: Joey Wheeler_

_Subject: No Good, Very Bad Day_

_Hey, sweetie! I've been told that you've had a very bad day. Forget about our date, okay? You come straight home and I'll make that coffee-cocoa you like so much, and we'll just snuggle, okay?_

_Now, just remember two things to make it this last little bit: sometimes you have to get weak to realize you're strong._

_And be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever._

_Love you!_

_Puppy_

Seto couldn't help a smile as he let his tense body relax. "Oh, God, puppy. You have no idea how much I needed that." He glanced at the clock, then stood up quickly, deciding that since he was CEO, his day was ending _now._ "I'm coming home, puppy."

He packed his briefcase and left the office without his usual hesitation; he didn't want to be there _any_ longer. Opening the door, he looked toward Yuri with a tired smile. "Yuri, I'm going home."

She blinked at him, then smiled. "Alright, sir. Oh! Joey just left a few minutes ago. If you go quickly, you might be able to catch up to him."

Yuri could honestly say she'd never seen him run that fast for the elevator.


	3. The Birds and the Bees: K

The Birds and the Bees

The Birds and the Bees

"What are 'the birds and the bees?'"

Joey looked up from his biology book and blinked silently, not totally sure if he'd just heard what he'd thought he'd heard. Then, he slowly looked up at the brunet watching him expectantly. "…Say what now?"

"What are 'the birds and the bees?'" Seto repeated. "I don't understand. Sex is sex. So what is the story of the birds and the bees?"

"…I… I… Why do you ask?" the blond asked, trying to buy some time and hopefully distract the older teen so he could escape.

"You're working on biology, and I got to thinking. I've never been told the story of the birds and the bees. I don't understand how the metaphors work. I learned about sex over the internet, and there was nothing about bees or birds." He learned forward and rested his chin on his hands, watching the blond closely. "So please explain it to me."

Joey blushed and bit his bottom lip, then looked away quickly. "Well, um…"

"I don't see how it's embarrassing, puppy. We've had sex before."

"But this is _different!_ We never talk about sex! …At least not like this!"

"Just explain it to me and we can be done with it then."

The smaller teen whimpered in defeat. "Fine. …But never ask me anything like this ever again!"

"Fine."

"Thank you!" He sighed and rubbed the back of his head wearily. "Okay… Well, I was told that when a man and a woman love each other very much—"

"Well this talk obviously did nothing to help you."

"Do you want to learn about the birds and the bees or not?"

"…Continue."

Joey sighed and held his head in his hand. "Okay, I don't remember it very well, so I'll just tell you basically what it meant. Birds are like men, bees are like women. Birds are free to fly whenever they like, but bees are enslaved to a single queen their entire lives and their whole life is dedicated to keeping _her_ alive. Bees pollinate flowers, birds spread the seed. Men impregnate eggs, women give birth."

"…That makes no sense. They have nothing to do with each other."

"You know what-! Okay, _fine._ Birds and bees spread pollen and seeds. The woman is like the plant being pollinated, which causes it to make seeds, which could be considered the baby. Okay?! Okay! Conversation over!" The blond stood an stormed away from his homework. "I'll never be able to think of biology the same way again!"

Seto blinked at where his boyfriend once sat, then frowned and looked over his shoulder at him. "That makes no sense at all."

"That's because it has nothing to do with sex! It has to do with where babies come from! Leave me alone!"

"Well that's stupid. The internet's so much easier to understand."

"So search it on Google next time and save me the embarrassment!"

"…Let's have sex."

"Wha-?!"

"You said you had to do your homework when I wanted it earlier. …Now you're not doing homework. So let's have sex."

"You sick, sick man!" The blond gasped in horror. "That wasn't even a real question, was it? You just wanted sex!"

Seto smirked. "Silly puppy. Did you really think I didn't know what the birds and the bees were?"

"_Fiend!_" Joey shouted, pointing at him, before turning and running for the stairs. "If you want me, you'll have to catch me!"

The brunet squeaked softly in indignance but got to his feet and ran after him. He couldn't afford to dawdle. He may have had long legs, but…

…Joey was by far the better runner.


	4. Eat Your Vegetables: T

Eat Your Vegetables

**Note:** This is before their romantic relationship is established. In other words… they're still in denial. XD

Eat Your Vegetables

"You want me to do _what?_" Joey asked in surprise, unsure of whether he'd heard right.

"_I want you to make sure that Seto eats at school! He's been getting thinner and I'm afraid he's forgetting to eat regularly because of work again!"_ the youngest Kaiba replied pleadingly.

The blond scowled. "Just one question; why me?"

"_Because you're stubborn enough to keep after him!"_

"…Whatever. I'll try my best, but only because you sound genuinely concerned," he answered finally, rolling his eyes.

"_Thanks, Joey! You're the best!"_

"Yeah, remember that when you're starting to think your brother's the best thing since sliced bread."

-x-x-x-

"…Joey? You don't like celery," Yugi pointed out, frowning, as the blond began unpacking his lunch.

Tristan looked surprised. "A food Joey doesn't like? It's the apocalypse."

"It tastes funny," Joey answered, nose wrinkling in distaste. He sighed heavily and glanced at Seto. "…If he doesn't pull something out to eat in twenty minutes, tell me, okay?"

The two boys blinked at him for a few seconds. Téa, seeing that they weren't going to answer anytime soon, tilted her head. "Why?"

"'cause I promised his brother I'd make sure he ate." He frowned as the three blinked at him incredulously, then scowled. "He sounded close to tears, okay?!"

"Ah. I see."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

Lunch continued on normally then, with jokes, laughter, friendly arguments, and the constant tip-tap-tap of the Kaiba's fingers on the keyboard. After about fifteen minutes, Yugi nudged the blond under the desk with his foot and jerked his head toward Seto. The blond groaned but grabbed the bag of celery nonetheless and stood from his seat.

"Oi, moneybags!"

Seto sighed and looked up, brows furrowing into a glare. "What— chwuh?!" The brunet squawked slightly as something was shoved in his mouth and bit down instinctively. The object in his mouth crunched, and soon he could taste a light but bitter liquid he recognized immediately as celery.

He found he could only blink up at the blond glaring down at him. Joey leaned down to rest his arm across the desk, his angry expression turning into a stern one. "You need to eat, Kaiba. Mokuba's getting worried about you." When his only response was a single brow raising, the blond let out a soft growl. "Damn it, Kaiba, he's one of the few people that actually care about you! Humor him, will you?!"

When the blond pulled the stalk of celery away from his mouth with a rip, Seto chewed, swallowed, and opened his mouth to reply. "Why should I listen to you, mutt?"

"You see this bag of celery? If you eat all of it, there's a nice beef fillet for you in my lunch. I've heard it's your favorite." Joey grinned. "So? What do you say?"

"…_No._"

He sighed and stood up straight, ruffling his messy hair thoughtfully. "Well, that's no good. Okay, how about this? Either you eat this bag of celery, or I'm going to shove it up your ass." He smiled innocently. "And _then_ you get your beef fillet."

Seto scowled at him. "You're giving it to me either way, so what's the point?"

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that you have to eat your vegetables?"

"…What?"

"You have to eat your vegetables. They're good for you," the blond explained. "You'll get your vitamins _and_ your protein today."

"…Get away from me mutt."

Joey snarled and slammed the top of laptop down on his hands. "_Do it._"

Truthfully, he'd never heard the blond sound so menacing. He'd seen angry, pissed off Joey. He'd seen angry, hateful Joey. Hell, he'd even seen angry, _vengeful_ Joey. This… This was gangster Joey; Joey who used his cold, emotionless voice to get his way, and when that didn't work, used his fists to beat the other into submission.

Ignoring the pain in his fingers, ignoring the pain to his ego that this submission would bring, Seto found it in his best interest to grab the bag of celery.

The blond smiled and stood up straight. "Good. Master's gonna earn his beef fillet from his puppy." His face twisted into a smirk. "Irony at its best."

"…Shut up."

"Good Master, earned himself a treat," Joey taunted, heading back to his seat.

Seto munched on the celery absently, typing with one hand and eating with the other. Vaguely, he wondered about the 'puppy and master' comment. He glanced at the blond out of the corner of his eye. He paused in thought, celery sticking out of his mouth, before his lips twisted into their trademark smirk.

Joey shivered and slowly looked over his shoulder. When he locked gazes with the brunet, his instincts immediately informed him that he needed to run and hide; that predatory, hungry look the brunet was giving him wasn't the normal kind of smirk he received.

He decided that he wouldn't do Mokuba any favors in the near future.


	5. Hand to Hand: T

Hand to Hand

Hand to Hand

"Hey, Seto, have you ever noticed how small Joey's hands are?" Mokuba asked, wandering into his brother's office.

Seto lifted his head, frowning slightly. "His hands? I've never really noticed. I thought they were always near my size."

"Well, he's got long fingers, but really, his hands are quite small."

"Hmm. Well, thanks for pointing that out. …I don't know _why_ you pointed it out, but thanks."

-x-x-x-

Joey turned and fell onto the bed with a sigh, ready to just fall asleep. "Man, I'm tired."

"Puppy?"

The blond lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Seto?"

The CEO walked over and lay down beside him, absently running his finger over the smaller teen's chest. "Mokuba pointed out that you have small hands today. …Why, I don't know; I think he's a bit attention deficit. But anyway, now I'm curious. May I see one of your hands?"

Joey frowned in thought hands curling into loose fists. "…No."

Seto turned onto his side and frowned, leaning his head onto his hand. "Why not?"

"I just… don't want you seeing my hands."

"This is another one of those _things,_ isn't it?" the brunet asked, raising an eyebrow.

The blond scowled. "It's not a _thing,_ you _jerk!_ I just don't wantcha touchin' my hands!"

"Why? Am I not good enough to look upon your golden hands?"

"Shut up! It's not funny!"

"Just let me see, puppy," he sighed, grabbing the blond's hand and lifting it to his face.

Joey flinched. He'd always hated it when Seto wanted to see his hands or wanted to take care of a cut or scrape he'd gotten from a fight. His hands were hard, callused from years of fights and hard work. Seto's were so soft, and smooth, and had probably never seen a day of manual labor. He hated it when his lover wanted to touch him, hated it that when he held hands with him he felt so inadequate.

Seto massaged his hand gently, then began kissing his fingertips. "I love your hands…"

"Say what?" the blond asked in surprise, blushing a little when he began sucking on his index finger.

The older teen smiled at him. "They show the kind of life you've led. Hard, tough, but you've made it. …I wish my hands were like yours."

"Wha-?! But, why? Why would you want hands like mine?"

"Because mine don't have the character yours do. Mine don't tell a story."

Joey frowned and tangled their fingers together, gently pulling the brunet's other hand to his face. He absently sucked on the older teen's fingers, smiling slightly when he stiffened, then whispered, "I dunno about what you said, but I promise ya that the story your fingers tell when they're in me are greatly appreciated."

Seto untangled fingers and pressed their hands flat against each other before he could be even more distracted. He raised an eyebrow when he found that yes, the blond had small hands; even though his fingers were long, they weren't as long as his, and they were thinner than his, which was surprising, since he had thin fingers to begin with.

"…You _do_ have small hands."

The blond smiled at him. "Yeah, which is why I'm glad you have big ones. …Because they can do so much more for me than I could ever do myself." He sucked a few more times on the larger teen's fingers before pulling them from his mouth. "And I have a few ideas that you could do with them now."

The brunet growled and rolled on top of him. "Mine!"

"Eep! Seto! I'm not goin' anywhere!"


	6. Innocently Sexy: T

Innocently Sexy

Innocently Sexy

Seto hissed and clenched the pen in his hand tightly. He hated a lot of things about his lover. He hated it when he cooked. He hated it when he cleaned. He hated it when he was playing video games with Mokuba—especially when they played that stupid Dance Dance Revolutions game. And, currently, he hated it when he did laundry.

…Of course, the food he made was absolutely delicious. He kept the house immaculate. He thought the blond spending time with his brother was great. And having clean clothes was a good thing.

If only he didn't look so _sexy_ doing it! AND HE DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT!

No, he was just digging around in the laundry basket with his ass in the air and not even _realizing_ what it was putting _him_ through!

Seto wondered whether all of the blond's jeans were dirty. Not that he had anything against him wearing leather pants. '…Oh, oh God. Stop shifting your weight from foot to foot and making your hips sway!'

Joey lifted his head slightly, frowning, then turned his head in confusion. "Seto? Is something wrong?"

"Wrong? Why would anything be wrong?" the brunet asked absently, unable to tear his eyes from the smaller teen's rear to his face.

"I haven't heard you working since I came in. Are you okay?"

"…Oh… Puppy, I'm more than okay," Seto stated, smirking, and stood from his desk.

Joey stood up straight and took a step back instinctually. "Ah… S-Seto, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what, puppy?"

"L-Like you've been starving in the desert for a week and I'm a big beef fillet!"

The brunet's smirk grew at the analogy. "Oh, I'm hungry, sweetie. And you look pretty tasty."

"Ah…" The smaller teen took a few more steps back. "S-Seto, I just came in here to grab some laundry! How do you get so horny so fast?!"

"You're the one wearing leather pants and wiggling your ass in the air," Seto replied, strides lengthening. He grabbed the blond's hips before he could take another step back and immediately leaned in to begin sucking on his neck.

"Ah-! Seto, wait, I wasn't—" Joey whimpered and lifted a leg to wrap around the brunet's waist, unable to resist. "You pervert!"

The older teen chuckled and gave his ass a quick squeeze. "Yet you never complain when I finally ram into you!"

"Oh— Seto! Wait! I can't—"

"And why can't you?"

"Ooh… Seto… Stop…"

"If you weren't so damn sexy, we wouldn't have this problem."

Joey blushed. "H-how am I always sexy, huh?! You always jump me at the most inconvenient times!"

"You're so innocent you can't even realize that you're the sexiest thing I've ever seen," Seto muttered, chewing lightly on his earlobe. "Damn you, puppy, you torture me!"

The blond blushed even more and let out a gasp as the larger teen gave him a smarting spank. "Ow-! Hey! What was that for?!"

"For being a bad little puppy." The brunet lifted him bodily from the floor and threw him onto the bed, glad that he'd decided to work at the desk in the bedroom rather than in his office down the hall. The couch in there was uncomfortable. "And not knowing when you're so fucking delectable!"

"H-hey! Hey, wait! Seto! _Seto!_"


	7. Pink and Frilly: T

Pink and Frilly

Pink and Frilly

…This was so not fair.

There Joey was, wearing tight black slacks, a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a _frilly, pink apron,_ and yet he had ordered no sex be had until after this stupid dinner with his family! Was he trying to make his lover insane?!

"…Joey, I—"

"_Absolutely not._"

Seto blinked, stunned, then sighed and let his chin rest on his hands, watching the blond add some sort of spice to… whatever it was. Really, he hadn't been paying attention. He had been too busy staring at the blond's rear to listen to the menu. …But really, sex came before food in his life. In fact, the order of necessity in his mind was sex, air, sex, water, sex, food, sex, shelter, and sex.

So it stood to reason that his eyes were once again locked on his lover's ass.

He let out a yelp as a wooden spoon was knocked against his forehead and reared back, falling off the stool he was sitting on. "The hell!"

Joey scowled. "Seto Kaiba, either you keep your eyes off my ass, or I throw you out of the kitchen!"

The brunet could only stare in shock for a moment before standing up and crossing his arms, scowling. "It's _my_ kitchen, puppy. You don't have the _right_ to throw me out."

"Okay. _Fine._ Then _you_ finish cooking, and _you_ tell my mother that I couldn't make her favorite chocolate mousse pie because it's not _my_ kitchen," the smaller teen replied, narrowing his eyes.

It only took a few seconds of thought before Seto turned and stalked out of the room. "You're getting a spanking for this, puppy."

Joey sighed and shook his head. "Like I expected anything less."

"…And you'll be wearing the apron."

"Wha-!? But—why—my apron?!"

"It's pink and frilly and it makes me want to fuck you even more than I already do."

The blond blinked after him before looking down at his apron. "…If the sex doesn't go well tonight… I'm burning this."


	8. Colorblind: K

Colorblind

**Note:** This is when Seto and Joey have just started a relationship, so sometimes they're still kind of tentative with each other. :D

Colorblind

"Pick one."

Joey looked at all of the tags nervously. He'd finally agreed to let the brunet stake his claim (in a way) over him, considering the last time they went out together and someone hit on him, Seto almost blew a fuse. So, here they were at the pet store, looking at collars. They'd already gotten the tag; it was a pretty golden one shaped like a heart. Now he got to choose his collar. The brunet had said he'd prefer if it were green or red, but it was his neck so ultimately it was his choice, so he figured he'd get one of those, since it didn't really matter to him.

Now how to pick one of them without recognizing his weakness?

After a few minutes of merely staring at the different collars, he looked up at the brunet beside him, sighing in defeat. "Which one should I get?"

Seto raised an eyebrow. "I don't care, puppy; it's not going around _my_ neck."

"I can't see them."

This only caused a blink. "…What?"

He sighed again. "I can't _see_ the colors, okay? I'm colorblind. Why do you think I just throw on a t-shirt and jeans every day? You can't mess up a t-shirt and jeans."

The brunet frowned. It had obviously hurt his boyfriend to admit that. He looked up at the collars. …But it seemed pointless now that he knew that his lover couldn't see the colors.

"…I have a different idea. Come on, let's go home," Seto murmured, grabbing the blond's hand and leading him to the door.

Joey frowned as well. "I thought you wanted— …Seto, I'm sorry."

The brunet shot him a tiny but genuine smile. "It's not your fault that you're colorblind, puppy."

-x-x-x-

Joey's nose wrinkled slightly as he gazed at the two small chains tangled together beautifully, but there was something a bit off. "Eh… Seto, these chains aren't the same color."

"Hmm. I thought you were colorblind."

"They're two different shades of grey."

"Hmm. I know," he replied, clasping the make-shift collar around the blond's slender neck. "One's silver and one's gold. The bigger one is silver; the gold one is just there to make them match."

The blond looked up at him, tears forming in his eyes. "Seto…"

Seto frowned and cupped his cheeks. "Puppy, if you don't like it, I can take it back."

"This… is the nicest thing you ever could have done for me!" he sobbed, lunging forward to hug him tightly. "Thank you!"

"Ha… It's… nothing to cry over," the brunet stated uncertainly. He hugged the blond back and began stroking his hair. "Don't cry, Joey."

Joey sniffed and leaned back, trying to rub the tears away as he smiled up at him. "Y-you know, I never knew your eyes were blue until I heard some of the girls talking about how dreamy your eyes were? And I always wondered, what does blue look like?" He laughed shakily. "And every time I look into your eyes, I just wish I could see _one_ color. Just so I could see what blue looks like."

Seto frowned again, brows furrowing together; he'd never realized his puppy had felt like this. "…How about I show you what colors look like," he suggested, shifting the blond in his arms slightly.

"Hmm?" The smaller boy tilted his head, sniffling a little. "Don't be silly, Seto. Even if there was a surgery for this, I wouldn't want it."

"I'm not talking about a surgery. Close your eyes." He watched as the blond gave him a skeptical look before hesitantly closing his eyes. Then, he swooped down and caught the blond's lips in a sweet, tender kiss.

"Mm! Mmf!" Joey gasped and grabbed the brunet's shirt, moaning slightly as the older boy took the opportunity to shove his tongue into his mouth. "Mmmm…!"

Seto broke the kiss after a few moments, smirking, and brushed the blond's hair out of his eyes. "That was color. Think about it for a while and come find me if you want to see it again."

The blond watched him leave the room, flushed, and nodded absently, still stunned by the sudden kiss. "…Okay…" He put his hands to his warm cheeks and blushed even more. _Damn,_ colors were nice.


	9. Yellow: K

Yellow

Seto sighed and pulled his lovely puppy into his arms, nuzzling his hair affectionately. "I'm home."

"Oh! Jeez, Seto, don't scare me like that!" Joey exclaimed, looking over his shoulder at the brunet. "I didn't hear you come in."

"You never do." He placed a few soft kisses on the blond's neck as he went back to cooking, then frowned and stood up straight, holding up a lock of the blond's messy hair. "Puppy, you're covered in paint. Did you get in a fight with a paintbrush in art today?"

The smaller teen shrugged uncomfortably. "…You could say that."

"Oh?" Seto raised an eyebrow, then scowled. "What are you not telling me, Joey?"

"Welllll…"

"Tell me _now._"

Joey winced slightly. "A smartass kid poured paint on my head and called me a freak because I'm mostly Japanese but I still have blond hair." He pasted on a smile and looked back at his lover. "It's no big deal. I punched 'im in the nose for it."

The brunet raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Tell me everything. You're hiding something from me."

The smaller teen stayed silent for a moment, just stirring the soup he'd so painstakingly cooked, then turned and buried his face in the older boy's chest. "I wish I had darker hair! Then people wouldn't make fun of me!"

"…But puppy, you have beautiful hair," Seto murmured, but was only answered by a shaky sob. "Puppy…"

"Why! Why did I have to be born with yellow hair?!"

The brunet smiled and nuzzled his hair. "Well the answer's simple enough, puppy. The gods ran out of black and brown paint." He reached up and ruffled his hair. "So they used yellow paint instead, and they said, 'This boy will be special and different, because he's Japanese and he has yellow hair.' And you _are_ special and different."

Joey sniffled and looked up at him. "Yeah? You really think so?"

"Puppy, I _know_ so. Because out of all of the people in the world, you're the only one that snarled at me or snapped at me, and everyone was stunned, including me." He smiled sweetly. "Puppy, you're amazing, and oh so special." He paused in thought, then added, "And if you try and dye your hair, I'll shave it all off. You're _my_ puppy and therefore you will _keep_ your blond hair."

The blond laughed weakly. "Thank you, Seto. I think I will."

Seto frowned and brushed his tears away. "Are you okay now, puppy?"

"Yes." He smiled through his tears. "I'm more than okay. Thank you, Seto."

"You're welcome, love." He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to his lover's lips. "I love you."

"Love you too."


	10. Roasty Toasty: K

Roasty Toasty

Yugi looked around in disbelief. "Oh. My God."

Yami smiled innocently. "Aibou! You're back from school already?"

"Ah… I'm not the only one who sees it, right?" the smaller boy exclaimed, turning toward his friends desperately.

Joey sighed. "No, you're not. I see it too."

"I think… it's best if we leave now," Tristan stated, grabbing his friend's arm and leading him toward the door.

Téa laughed lightly but followed them nonetheless. "We'll see you guys later!"

The identical pair watched as the door swung shut slowly, before Yugi turned back to his dear partner and shrieked, "_What did you do?!_"

"Well—" Yami began, tapping his fingers together thoughtfully. "I was trying to make toast, because I was hungry, and it looked so easy when you did it. But I didn't want to wait as long as you always do, so I turned up the heat a little."

The smaller boy narrowed his eyes. "And?"

"Well, I had to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, the toaster was on fire," the former pharaoh continued, as if this had _not_ been a serious danger to his health. "And I tried to use the fire extinguisher, but I couldn't quite remember how to work it, so I just threw it to the side and it combusted. Well, it couldn't be any help after that, so I got the hose from the sink and used that to put the fire out; I forgot that you're not supposed to get today's technology wet."

Yugi let out a roar of frustration (which was rather cute, but you still had to pity them both). "Yami! The kitchen's a mess! We have no more fire extinguishers! I have to buy another toaster! AND YOU NEVER MANAGED TO MAKE THE TOAST!"

Yami looked insulted. "That's not very fair. I tried, didn't I?"

"_Ugh!_" The adorable boy stomped over to the phone and dialed the number now most familiar to him. "Joey! Can you ask Kaiba to send over a couple of his maids again?!"

"…_Yami killed the toaster again?"_

Yugi let out another frustrated screech. "_Joey!_"

"_Eep! Okay, okay, I'm going to see him now!"_

"We won't be here when they get here. I have to go find a new, _cheap and easy_ toaster that Yami won't be able to find a way to destroy!" the younger teen retorted, then slammed the phone down on its cradle and began toward the door. He walked outside and slammed the door shut behind him.

Yami looked around at the nearly demolished kitchen and frowned. "It can't be that bad. It's not nearly as bad as when I tried to use the stove."

Yugi opened the door and stuck his head back in, scowling (though on him, it just looked like a cute pout). "_Yami!_ Come _on!_"

"Eep! Coming, aibou!" the taller man replied, hurrying after his lover.

-x-x-x-

"_Again?_" Seto sat back in his chair in disbelief. "That's the sixth toaster!"

Joey shrugged helplessly. "So can you send the maids again, Seto?"

"Well… I'm not sure how much longer they'll be willing to do this," the brunet sighed, shrugging as well, as he reached for his phone. "They're still a little bit traumatized from the last one randomly coming back from the shadow realm. …Alive."

"I think you should give them a raise."

"…No, Yugi and Yami should start paying me extra."

"…Give them a raise or I'm never letting you duel with Yami again."

This earned a gasp. "Puppy! So cruel!"


	11. Against the Wall: K

Against the Wall

Joey blinked. That was supposed to be a kiss? That fleeting, barely-a-brush of lips? Really? No pause, no Eskimo kiss, no 'I love ya babe see ya after work?'

UN_FORGIVE_ABLE!

Turning to glare at the brunet so swiftly walking away, he placed his hands on his hips. "SETO KAIBA!"

Seto flinched, then slowly turned; that was the tone of voice his lover used when he was _really_ mad, and it usually meant that he'd be sleeping on the couch that night. He shrunk further when he realized that not only did Joey's friends look confused, but concerned as well. _That_ meant that it was one of those weird quirks that they didn't really understand about the blond, so he was probably going to be humiliated by his lover for something probably as small and insignificant as not hugging him goodbye.

"…Yes, puppy?"

The blond scowled and crossed his arms, his bottom lip beginning to jut out in a pout. "Seto Kaiba, you come back here, push me up against the wall, and kiss me like you really mean it!"

"Ah…?" Seto blinked for a few seconds, stunned, before smirking and striding back toward the smaller teen.

Joey mewled as he was shoved against the wall and wrapped his arms around the brunet as his mouth was dominated in a swift kiss. "Mm!" He whimpered as the CEO rammed their hips together and hooked his leg around his waist, yanking him closer. He moaned in disappointment as the brunet pulled away. "Seto…"

"We will continue this at _home_ when I get off work," Seto stated, smiling, before placing another quick, soft kiss on his lover's lips. "I'll see you later."

The blond sighed dreamily as he watched him walk away, but the smile on his face faded as he realized his friends were giving him strange looks. He crossed his arms defensively. "What?"

"'Push me up against the wall and kiss me like you really mean it?'" Tristan asked, raising an eyebrow.

Joey blushed. "Shut up!"

Yami smirked and crossed his arms. "And to think, you used to _hate_ him."

"_Shut up!_"


	12. Smile Pup: K Plus

Note: This is pre-relationship! No KaiJou yet! Though you see hints of pervert!Seto at the very end. **:**D This was written just for my amusement, so if you think it should be more detailed, be my guest; you may take drabble, lengthen it, and post it as your own. …So long as you credit me, of course. I am not interested in making this longer. I may use the title for something else, but it will probably have little to do with this story if I do post it. But anyway! Enjoy or not, it's up to you! 

Smile Pup

"You're so funny, Joey! I'm sure you can make anyone smile!"

The blond laughed a little and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, well, I dunno about that."

The little girl giggled and waved as her older brother led her out of the shop. "Bye-bye, Joey! I hope you're here next time!"

The two teens watched them go until they were out of sight. Then, Yugi turned and looked up at his best friend. "I think she's right."

Joey scowled at him. "You're delusional."

"No! I really think you can make anyone smile!" the younger boy exclaimed, tilting his head a little. "There was that little boy at the park, and those girls who had lost their dog, and that lady with the huge amount of groceries…"

The blond sighed and waved it away. "Fine, I'll admit I can make _a lot_ of people smile, but I can't just make anyone smile."

Yugi hummed and nodded thoughtfully. "…I've got a challenge for you, Joey. And, if you win, I'll take you out for burgers. It'll be all on me."

"Okay!" Joey answered immediately, smiling brightly. "I want a chocolate milkshake, too!"

"…Joey, you haven't won the challenge yet."

"Right, right! What is it!"

"Make Kaiba smile. I'll buy you the shake if you can make him laugh, too."

As soon as the gorgeous smile was there, it was gone. Joey knew he would never be able to make the CEO smile. Seto hated him too much. …But… he could at least try. He might even have fun with it!

-x-x-x-

NOT FUN! NOT FUN AT ALL!

Joey groaned and buried his face in his hands. He'd tried jokes, he'd tried crazy antics, and he'd tried being clumsy. Hell, he'd even set himself up for dog jokes with some of his stupid routines! And yet Seto had never smiled. Oh, he smirked condescendingly. He cackled. He snapped his own jokes. But he still had yet to smile.

Joey was proud to say he had one last trick up his sleeve, but he was loathe to do it. It would mean demeaning himself in the worst way possible, setting himself up for dog jokes not only for Seto, but any of his friends.

His grumbling stomach made the decision for him. He stood and sprinted for the nearest sex shop, leaving his friends staring after him in confusion.

Yugi tilted his head. "What was _that_ all about?"

"I don't even want to _know_ where he's going," Téa sighed, going back to her salad.

"With any luck, we'll be able to see his humiliation," Tristan replied, as he knew that look in his friends eyes; it was his 'I'm-about-to-do-something-really-stupid' glint.

-x-x-x-

Seto sighed and drew his next card without any real gusto. He didn't know why he'd agreed to this duel. Oh, wait, yes he did—the little brat had said he could beat him. Damn his pride.

"_OI!_ Seto!"

The brunet turned his head in surprise. That voice had sounded so much like the mutt's, but it had said his given name. Who the hell would— He felt his jaw drop as he saw who it was. And what he was wearing.

Joey was waving at his arms above his head, covered with golden paw-like gloves that went up to his elbows. His feet were covered by paw-like golden boots that came up to his knees, and he wore only a pair of tiny jean shorts and a small white tank top with a big pink heart on it. To top off the outfit were the golden ears and tail on his head and attached to his pants.

Joey smiled brightly when he saw he'd gotten the brunet's attention and waved at him again, resting his other "paw" on the guard rail. "Hey! Kick the little brat's ass! He's been a pain in the butt to us for_ever!_"

Seto didn't notice as his cards slipped from his slack fingers. He didn't notice that he was practically drooling. He didn't even notice that even the blond he was staring at was looking at him uneasily. All he could think about was how that body would look without the shorts and shirt. And was that a thong peeking its way out at him, asking to be ripped off?

"…Dude, that is _so_ messed up," Tristan muttered, before grabbing his friend's arm and turning to lead him back to the food court.

Yugi smiled. "No worries, Joey. I'll buy you the burger I promised."

"But I didn't even make him smile-!" Joey exclaimed, frowning, as he was pulled away from the dueling arena.

"Joey, I think you just gave Kaiba a nosebleed," Téa whispered, giggling. "Just for that, I'll buy you a chocolate milkshake!"

The blond looked horrified. "You mean Kaiba thinks I'm hot in this?!"

As they disappeared from view, Seto turned his gaze back on the little brat. He didn't even care anymore; he blasted him to bits, shoved his deck into its holder, then took off toward the food court as well. If Joey thought he could just show up in that provocative outfit, grab his attention, then leave, he was sadly mistaken. He would show the blond just what that outfit had done to him.

He could promise that Joey would see more than his smile.


	13. Just One of My Services: K

Note: No shippings or romance whatsoever. …Well, puppyshipping if you squint. It's mostly just Joey being sweet, like the loveable little puppy he is. **:**D

Just One of My Services

It didn't take long for all of the students to find out. It was on the news. Their English teacher's husband had been killed in action at a drug bust. She was missing from school for the first few days. She was sorely missed. She was kind, considerate, and sweet. The substitute was… not.

Seeing her sad but beautiful face on the forth day that week had been a blessing on many different students.

It was with great surprise that Joey showed up with a small bouquet of daisies. He walked up to her and bowed, then stood up straight and offered her the flowers. "I appreciate what your husband did, Ms. Delume."

She was startled, but took the bouquet nonetheless and offered him a watery smile. "Thank you, Joey. You know, I wouldn't have expected this from you."

He smiled sweetly. "Just one of the services I offer." He rested his hands behind his head and took his seat, as if he hadn't just done something incredibly thoughtful and considerate for one of the teachers he was usually a pain in the ass for. Halfway through the period had him sleeping on his desk, mumbling about a 'Kaiba burger.'

Ms. Delume didn't wake him up until the bell rang.


	14. Black Heart: K Plus

Black Heart

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Seto blinked, then raised his gaze from his book and was surprised to find a black plastic heart dangling from a chain in front of his face. Lifting his gaze further, he found the person offering it to be his favorite blond puppy to tease.

"…What?"

Joey raised a brow and wiggled the heart in front of his face. "I figured even the iciest bastard in the world needs a Valentine's gift. But, what t' get a man when his heart is shriveled up and dead?" He smiled brightly and motioned at the heart. "Tada! Symbolism! Clever, neh?"

"…You're such a dumbass it should be illegal," the brunet replied, sighing, as he grabbed the chain. After a moment of thought, he added, "But congratulations, mutt, you've got a brain."

The younger teen's eye twitched, but he refused to lose his temper. "…Yeah, imagine."

Seto smirked and leaned forward. "Does this mean you're a girl?"

Now, Joey realized it was Valentine's Day—and therefore a girls' holiday—but he'd seen the black heart and realized it was perfect for the bastard CEO. That didn't give said bastard CEO any right to tease him for it, though! He was teasing him for being a girl? He'd show him a girl!

"…Yeah, I guess it does," Joey replied slowly, then scowled and slapped him across the face. "Happy fuckin' Valentine's Day, ya prick."

"Oh! Shit! Aha, that hurt! What the hell?!" the brunet shouted at him, rubbing his newly bruised cheek.

"Ya think girls hit like that 'cause it feels like bunnies and kittens?" the blond asked, glaring at him, before turning and walking back to his desk.

Seto frowned and continued to rub his cheek absently as he looked back down at the heart in his hands. He raised an eyebrow as he saw a small, barely readable inscription, then looked back up at the blond sharply.

'_Even if your heart looked like this, I'd care for it.'_


	15. Past Horrors: T

Author's Note: I realized a while back that this is actually quite a popular idea. I also realized that I could put in my twist of humor on it. **:**D

Past Horrors

Yugi frowned as he looked at his friend, tapping his fingers against the counter next to the register. After a few moments, the blond looked back at him and raised an eyebrow questioningly. Another moment of silence followed before the younger boy finally asked, "Who were you?"

"…Come again?" Joey asked, tilting his head innocently.

"In Egypt. Who were you?"

The blond blinked at him silently for a second, then frowned. "I don't know."

Yugi sighed and turned toward his lover. "Yami!"

"Just a second, aibou," the ancient spirit replied, glaring at the chessboard. "Kaiba's put me in check."

Seto sighed and leaned his chin in his hands, waiting for his turn again. He thought that Yami was the king of _all_ games. Apparently, he was a little rusty at chess. He was _so_ bored.

"Who was Joey back in Ancient Egypt?" Yugi pressed, ignoring the other man's answer.

"Yeah, who was I?" Joey asked, then frowned when the former Pharaoh didn't answer. Growing frustrated quite quickly, he walked over to the card table they were sitting at and flipped it, sending both the cardboard chessboard and the plastic pieces clattering across the floor.

Yami stared at the toppled game in horror. "What did you do?! I was going to move!"

"Oh, what a shame," the blond sighed, crossing his arms and frowning almost apologetically. The furrowed brows showed that he was not apologetic, however; they showed he was getting closer and closer to getting pissed off enough to do the same thing to the Pharaoh himself. "Sorry 'bout that, Yami." He jerked forward so he was eye to eye with the spirit and scowled. "Who was I?"

"What? When? What the hell do you mean?" Yami frowned, then blinked in realization. "Oh. Um… You know, I'm not sure."

"Is there any way you can find out?"

"…I guess…"

Joey let out a yelp as they were suddenly surrounded by darkness and glomped his lover immediately. "Ack!"

"…Really, Joey?" Seto sighed, but wrapped his arms around his puppy nonetheless.

The four men looked around the hall of the palace in surprise. There were a few guards down each direction, but other than that, not much. …This… was obviously not where they were going to find Joey. They turned as one unit as they heard quick footsteps coming down the hall.

It was a girl the common garb of a slave, the only difference was the golden sash decorated with blue stitching wrapped around her waist. Her long golden hair was tied back in a ponytail with another gold and blue sash, exposing a necklace like a collar around her neck with a miniature Sennen Rod dangling from it. Her big, expressive brown eyes glittered with worry as she ran up to the door the boys were standing next to.

It opened before she could even touch the latch, making her flinch back and duck her head. The priest glared at her for a moment, leaning against the door, before stating, "You are late."

"I… I was wanted in the kitchens, Master," she replied timidly, twisting her fingers together unconsciously in anxiety. She yelped as the brunet grabbed the front of her dress and yanked her forward. "Master-!"

"You are _my_ slave, Jeno," he hissed, tangling his fingers in her hair. "If you were wanted in the kitchens, you should have come directly to _me._ I would have taken care of it."

She trembled in his arms as the brunet began to kiss her neck, running his tongue along her skin just beneath her collar. "M-Master…! I couldn't—the Pharaoh—"

"He knows how well I deal with people trying to take what's mine." The priest smirked as the slave in his arms began to whimper. "Yes, you like that, don't you, you little whore."

She blushed and tried to push him away. "Master, please, someone could see—"

"Then I better get you inside, so I can worship your body privately, my pet." The brunet's blue eyes darkened. "I wouldn't want anyone seeing your gorgeous body and deciding that they should have you."

The slave girl only had enough time to shriek before she was yanked into the priest's room. "Seth!"

The boys stared at the door in horror before paling as they heard the girl screaming, punctuated by the priest's snarls and growls.

"Huh." Seto tilted his head and tightened his grip on the blond's waist. "Sounds a lot like when we have sex."

Joey… had a less calm reaction to this information. "I WAS A GIRL?! OH MY _GOD!_ I WAS A _GIRL!_ OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD! I! WAS! A! _GIRL!_"


	16. Not So Congratulations: K Plus

Author's Note: I have nothing against gays (Duh. Have you seen how much yaoi I write?). I do not condone the word "fag." I am offended when my father uses this word. In fact, if the word is used in my school, the person gets suspended for at least two days. "Fag" is not a nice word. However, I am using it in this story. Please in no way think that I am saying it and meaning it. It is just part of the story.

Not So Congratulations

Joey Wheeler was not a sentimental person. He didn't like to show weakness, whether it was in front of his friends or his lover. So when he ran into the game shop, bawling his eyes out, everyone was concerned, Seto was called, Mokuba was picked up early from school, and Joey was forced to eat a pint of ice-cream until Seto and Mokuba showed up.

It was quite impressive, really, that Seto came storming in with Mokuba on his heels within minutes of the initial call.

Yugi frowned. "Mokuba, why are you limping?"

"Seto made me jump into the limo while it was still moving," the younger boy grumbled. "Would you mind getting me some ice?"

"Oh! Sure!"

While his younger brother was preoccupied with his injury, Seto went to his lover and frowned, kneeling in front of him. "Joey? What's wrong, puppy?"

Joey sobbed and covered his mouth, turning his head away as he tried to regain control over himself. "I-it's so s-s-stupid, Seto, I d-dunno why they c-c-called ya…"

"It's not stupid if it's got you crying," the brunet answered soothingly, stroking his bangs out of his teary eyes. "Tell me what happened."

"S-Serenity c-called me a few m-m-minutes ago…" the younger boy began, before he was cut off by a few more sobs.

Seto nodded encouragingly. "Serenity called you a few minutes ago."

The blond sobbed and closed his eyes. "And she said—she said—"

"She said…?"

"…She said Ma was gettin' married again and that she didn't want me t' come t' her weddin'!" the blond wailed, then covered his face and began sobbing again.

Seto felt his anger flare. He knew that his puppy had had abandonment issues ever since his mother had taken his beloved sister away. Now it was like the blond's mother had just come up and bitch-slapped him while telling him he was worthless.

Seeing his lover so distraught, so hurt, made him very, _very_ angry.

Bitch must die.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Serenity was unhappy. It wasn't that she didn't like her mom's new husband—she actually liked him a lot—but she wished her brother had been there to share it with her. In fact, her new step-father had suggested they invite Joey, but their mother had nixed it. She only hoped that Joey would forgive her.

She blinked in confusion as she saw Seto Kaiba sweeping through the reception hall, then tilted her head. He had no reason to be there. She glanced up at her mother and step-father and raised an eyebrow.

Her mother had seen him and was less than pleased. One half of the reason she hadn't invited Joey was because of her hatred for their father; the other half was because he'd decided that he was homosexual. Not only did she dislike Joey for making the decision, but she blamed Seto for it as well, because even as a middle-aged woman, she could see that Seto was attractive, rich, and protective of what was his, which appealed to a lot of people—men and women alike. She believed that these qualities were what had turned Joey into a "fag."

Seto smiled charmingly as he came up to them, and Serenity found herself getting nervous. She may not have spent a lot of time with him, but she distinctly knew that that smile was his 'I'm-kicking-ass-and-taking-names" smile.

Seto bowed slightly and took her hand, placing a light kiss on the back of it before he stood up straight. "Your brother sends his regards."

"Ah… Thank you…?" she replied, then looked up at her mother anxiously.

The brunet followed her gaze, then smiled again. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were right there. You have my congratulations."

Oh dear. There was the 'taking names' part. Here came the 'kicking ass.'

"You also have your son's congratulations. Not that you care." As soon as Seto's smile was there it was gone, in place of a glare icy enough to make icicles appear on the former Mrs. Wheeler's earrings. "After he saved your daughter's eyesight, after he continued to send you money for bills for Serenity's schooling in Domino, you _bitch._ You heartless _bitch._ I should—"

"I _thought_ ya might do somethin' like this!" The brunet found his ear in danger of being ripped off seconds later as his lover grabbed it and yanked him reproachfully away. "You jerk! Ya said ya were only comin' in t' tell them congratulations for me!" He turned and flashed his mother and sister a sweet smile. "Hi Ren, hi Ma. _You_ promised t' only take a few seconds, and _then_ we were gonna go t' Burger World! Remember, ya lost that duel to Yami, so now ya owe everyone a meal." He paused in his scolding to flash his mother another smile. "Congratulations, Ma." And then he was dragging the brunet out of the reception hall by his ear, still scolding.

Serenity frowned and looked up at her mother. "…You're lucky Joey still loves you, Mom. I think Seto may have gone for the jugular if he hadn't stopped him."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey Wheeler was not a sentimental person. He didn't like to show weakness, whether it was in front of his friends or his lover. That didn't stop him from kissing his lover senseless in the back of his limo while he cried the happiest tears he'd ever cried.

He'd never seen his mother turn that shade of red before and not been able to do something about it.


	17. Arachnid: K Plus

Author's Note: This is just something I thought of when I found a spider in my room and screamed. Would this not be _totally hilarious_ if it were in the show?

Arachnid

Seto was often amused about his lover's quirks conflicting with his personality. Joey would eat any food given to him, because after living with his father, it was hard to fight the instinct that this could be the last food he'd eat in a while—however, he refused to touch celery. Celery was "the demon food." He hadn't gotten the story behind it, but he assumed that Joey must have one to justify not eating it when he was normally a bottomless pit. He couldn't stand sitting still for over a minute, but when they were snuggling, he didn't mind. And he could face down imminent death for his friends—guns, psychos, drowning—but he ran out of the room screaming if he saw a spider.

He supposed Joey was unaware of just how funny he found that particular quirk.

Seto raised an eyebrow as he heard a scream from the entertainment room but continued working. Screams from _that_ particular room were normal. It was usually a screech of fury from being beaten at a game, or a scream of terror because Mokuba (sweet, innocent, conniving little Mokuba) had convinced Joey to watch a horror movie with him. When he heard another scream—high pitched this time, so it was definitely from his brother—he figured it was the latter. Joey couldn't beat him at a game that fast.

But then Joey's voice had raised an octave, and he was screaming, "_OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

There were some more screams, and the brunet found himself getting worried, but was almost afraid to get up and check. Luckily, he didn't need to, as seconds later his brother and his lover were running in and grabbing at his sleeves, yanking and tugging in a panic and babbling incoherently.

Sighing in annoyance, Seto pinched the bridge of his nose, then lifted his hands and sharply ordered, "Stop! I can't understand a word you're saying."

Joey whimpered and gave his sleeve another frightened yank. "B-but Seto! It was a spider!"

Ah. That explained the screaming.

"I see. Well, Mokuba, just go get one of the maids to—"

"But Seto it was really big!" the younger boy exclaimed, horrified. "It was so big—I think it had a gun!"

Seto raised a brow, frowning. "…A gun."

"It was _massive_ Seto and it was on my _arm!_" the blond added, tears forming in his eyes as he shivered violently, unclenching one hand from the older boy's shirt to brush at the spot on his arm that the spider had been on.

"…Massive." Sighing again, he stood, batting their hands away. "Okay, I'll take care of it."

Seto found himself amused once again as the two more fearful males followed him at a distance, as if the spider would just jump out and attack them. Marching into the entertainment room, he placed his hands on his hips and looked around for the so-called 'massive spider.' "So? Where is it? Show me the spider."

Mokuba and Joey poked their heads in, trembling nervously, before they hesitantly edged their ways into the room. Looking around for the spider carefully, Mokuba screamed again and threw himself into the blond's arms. "Oh my _God,_ there it _is!_"

"Where? Where?!" the older boy shrieked, turning toward where he was pointing. "Get it! GET IT!"

The brunet sighed again and turned to see the spider so he could just squish it and be done with. He nearly shrieked himself when he saw the freaking _tarantula_. It was almost as big as his hand, and he had no doubt that if he tried to squish it, there would be an accompanying squelch that he would never be able to wash from his memory. Also, it would make Joey and Mokuba scream again, and he didn't want that. They were panicked enough.

Just as he was about to seriously figure out what the hlel he should do, a familiar white-haired thief poked his head into the room. "Hey, have you guys seen my—Oh! There you are!" Bakura walked over to the arachnid and picked it up, cooing softly. "Did these big jerks scare you, Pinky? Of course they did. Let's go home." He turned to walk back out, then turned back to them sharply, glaring at them. "If you try to steal my little Pinky again, I'll kill you!" And then he was gone.

The three boys stared at where he'd been only a second before, stunned, before Joey and Mokuba shuddered and frantically tried to dust themselves off, cleansing themselves of the tarantula's presence. "Bleck! Oh gross!"

"If you find another tarantula," Seto stated, scowling at them. "_Please_ get one of the maids to take care of it. You've already distracted me from my work _once_ today and—"

"B-but! They always make fun of us when we do that!" Joey exclaimed, frowning.

"That's because you _squeal_ like a _girl._ Just do it."

He did not admit how he'd been just about to go grab one of the strong-willed cleaners himself when Bakura walked in. Like hell he was dealing with something that big!


	18. Goldfish: T

Goldfish

Part of the problem with Joey was that he had the attention span of a goldfish. It was quite a pain in the ass, actually, because sometimes he and Kaiba would be in the middle of a fight and he'd get distracted by something. …Usually by his thoughts. Thoughts like _'Damn, his lips look really soft.'_ Other various thoughts would constantly bombard him as well, making him very uncomfortable and very depressed because obviously Kaiba would never want to be with a mediocre mutt like him.

Joey wondered why he was thinking about the irony of it all while he was actually _having _an argument with Kaiba.

"Hey! Focus your goldfish attention span for a minute and listen to me!" Seto snapped, crossing his arms in frustration. If he was going to waste the time insulting him, he better damn well listen!

The blond tilted his head, blinking innocently, before suddenly reaching forward to grab his shoulders. While the other boy was stunned—when fights became physical, it was never because they grabbed each other—he went up on his toes and pressed a quick, chaste kiss to his lips. Then, just as quickly as he'd leaned in, he stepped back.

Joey was rewarded with the brunet staring at him, mouth gaping open slightly.

The blond smiled and clasped his hands together. "Well hello, Mr. Goldfish!" Then, he turned and ran.

Seto blinked for a second, then growled and stomped after him, leaving the blond's friends just as stunned as he had been and believing they'd never see their friend again. …Of course, he had no actual intention of _killing_ Joey. He was just going to… ravage him a bit. Yes, just ravage him a bit.

Or a lot.

…It wasn't his fault! Joey had kissed him first and just ran off! And Seto Kaiba _always_ finished what he started! …Even if it had been Joey starting it. But that just meant he had to finish it for him, because he wouldn't just let the mutt half-ass something!

Okay, so that was totally an excuse and he really just wanted to sex up the pup. …Was it his fault that the blond was so uke, though? He was just begging to be ravished like the pretty little pup he was. And Seto would be _damned_ if anyone else got to do it because he was _his_ puppy!


	19. Buy a Puppy: T

Buy a Puppy

Joey felt his eye twitch. He liked uniformity. His internal schedule was being thoroughly ripped apart and stomped on. Needless to say, this didn't help his agitation.

Seto had been dumped by his girlfriend earlier in the week. Since then, he hadn't been as confrontational as he usually was, and when he _did_ manage to start up a fight, his insults lacked the confidence and fire they usually had. This break-up had obviously shaken him up.

And it pissed Joey off to no end.

Letting out a roar of frustration, he stomped away from his friends to catch the older boy before he could slip into his limo. "Oi! Rich boy! Hold up!"

Seto sighed, shoulders sagging a little in defeat. He was not in the mood for this; however, he wasn't one to back down from a fight, so he squared his shoulders again and turned to face him, pasting on a scornful sneer. "What the hell do you want, mutt?"

"What the hell is your _problem?_" Joey snapped, coming to a stop in front of him and placing his hands on his hips.

The brunet vaguely noted that the other boy looked a lot like an irate teenage girl with a flat chest; perhaps he was due for a haircut. "What business is it of yours?"

And then, in true irate-teenage-girl fashion, the blond stomped his foot angrily. "You're really pissin' me off, man! This isn't the first relationship you've had—I _know,_ I've seen the tabloids—so why are ya takin' the end of this one so badly!?"

Seto narrowed his eyes. He'd been pondering whether or not to tell him the truth, but with the last statement, he decided he didn't _want_ to. "None of your business, mutt. Now go run along and play with your friends—"

"For the love of _God,_ Kaiba! If you're really that hurt by somethin' that bitch has done, buy a goldfish, eat a carton of ice-cream, and lock yourself in your room for couple of days! Just buck the fuck up, okay?! You're screwin' with my schedule, and I don't like that!"

The brunet blinked for a moment, stunned, before his lips twisted into a smirk. "Buy a goldfish, Wheeler?"

The younger boy scowled and crossed his arms, blushing a little as he turned away. "…Somethin' my little sister suggested the last time my relationship ended. Said it would help me cope."

"…I see." Seto's smirk turned absolutely feral. "I don't like fish, Joey. …So what if I just got a gold puppy?"

Joey snorted but refused to look at him. "Do whatever the hell ya want that gets ya outta this funk, man. I just want everything back to normal." He let out a startled yelp as the other boy grabbed him and yanked him closer, tossing him over his shoulder. "Ack-! What the hell, Kaiba?! Put me _down!_ Kaiba-!"

The older boy chuckled darkly and gave him an affectionate pat on the ass. "You said whatever I had to do to get out of this funk. So I'm getting a gold puppy, a carton of ice-cream, and locking myself in my room for a couple of days."

"No, ya jerk, that's not what I meant-!" Squirming wildly, the blond blushed and turned to glare at him as he stopped to open the door to the limo. "_You_ lock yourself in your room, not _me—_" He yipped as he was thrown into the limo, then growled as the brunet slid in after him, eyes dark as he shut the door. "Kaiba!"

"Oh, no, Joey. You see, you said I could get a golden puppy," the older boy purred, reaching out to catch his shoulders. "Or anything that would help me. Well, I've got my golden puppy, and I'm all for locking myself in my bedroom with you. It's just the ice-cream I have a problem with; I don't really like ice-cream." Smirk growing, the brunet leaned closer to him. "But I suppose I can live with it as long as I'm likcing it off of _you…_"

"D-don't say stuff like that, ya jerk! Lemme go! Lemme _go— _Ooh! Ah, yes…" Whimpering softly as the older boy slipped a hand up his shirt, gently rubbing his sides, before trying to shove him away again. "No! Ya perverted bastard, lemme—_Oh!_ Nn, don't touch me there—" He released a soft whine. "Moneybags, stop i—_OH MY FUCKIN' GAWD._" There was a pause. "…If ya stop now, I'll _kill_ ya."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey giggled quietly and snuggled up to the brunet, for once feeling totally relaxed and happy in the other boy's presence. "Best three days of my life."

"Mm… You betcha." Seto smiled lazily, drawing the smaller body closer and nuzzling the top of the blond's head when he laid it on his chest. "Taste so good covered in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, puppy…"

"…Seto? Why _were_ ya so upset when that girl broke up with ya?" the blond asked softly, peeking up at the older boy hesitantly.

The brunet scowled. "Bitch called me on being gay. Said she'd out me to the guy I liked if I didn't give her money."

"Oh." Despite the fact that he knew he was just being used to relax the other boy, he was still sort of hurt. "…Isn't she still gonna out ya, though? You… ya haven't given her any money, have ya?"

Seto rolled his eyes at the younger boy's innocence. "…It's a moot point now, puppy."

Joey blinked, then looked up at him in confusion. "Huh?"

"Well, considering I've been screwing the daylights out of the guy I like for the last three days, there's really no point in outing me."

It took a few minutes, but then the blond's face lit up with a gorgeous smile. "Ya like _me?_ Well, I gotta say, ya have good taste."

The brunet rolled his eyes again, then let them drift closed, deciding that sleeping off their last few rounds of sex would do him some good. "You taste better, puppy. Especially with sundae toppings. Now go to sleep."


	20. White Damnation: K Plus

Author's Note: *GASP* Something that _isn't_ based on puppyshipping! **:**3 No, it starts with tendershipping and then goes on to add the other popular shippings. Enjoy!

White Damnation

Ryou woke to cursing. This was not unusual, however; in fact, he either woke up to kisses, cursing, or smoke—the latter because Bakura had tried to cook again, usually. However, he had never heard his yami screaming about 'white damnation' before, so he figured something must have happened to upset him so.

Yawning and pulling on a robe, the young British boy wandered out of his room to go find his darker half. "Bakura, what's wrong? I wanted to sleep in before going to the sleepover at Kaiba's."

Seto (read: _Joey_) had been kind enough to invite everyone over for a sleepover after having a big Thanksgiving dinner. He hadn't looked too happy at the prospect, but when Yami had asked why when Joey had gone to the bathroom, he'd stated that he'd planned on rewarding his puppy for his hard work in the kitchen in the bedroom. …Alone.

Ryou assumed that the two were very loud during sex, because Mokuba had then advised them to bring some earplugs or an iPod of some sort to block out some… strange noises the house had been making recently. So, naturally, he'd wanted to get some extra sleep in case it got too… loud… for him to sleep. …Yeah.

He blinked as he found bright whiteness outside his window, then rubbed the side of his head absently. "Wow. Snow's come very late this year."

At that moment, he was bowled over by his frantic looking yami. "Hikari! There's white stuff attacking us from the sky! I've tried to banish it to the shadow realm but it just keeps _coming!_"

Ryou vaguely thought that there were bound to be some very confused monsters in the shadow realm (the image of a few chibi Duel Monsters looking up in confusion at some white flakes falling was actually very cute), but then he turned his attention to the former Egyptian spirit. "It's called _snow,_ Bakura. It's a weather function."

"It's fucking _cold!_" the thief shrieked, then turned to shake a fist at the window. "You shall not defeat me, you white damnation! For I am the Great Bakura! You will cower in fear of me!"

The younger boy sighed and stood up, dusting himself off. "I'm going to go make breakfast."

Bakura nodded, still glaring out at the snow outside. "Good idea, hikari. We're going to need all of our strength to defeat this new, evil enemy!"

"…Right," Ryou replied, sighing again. As he began to get out ingredients for omelets, he mumbled under his breath, "I better make sure he's layered up before we leave for Kaiba's."

-x-x-x-

Joey opened the door happily; the turkey was about ready to come out of the oven, the side-dishes were on the table with covers just waiting to be eaten, and he'd managed to keep his lover from ravishing him in the kitchen! His day could _not_ get any better! "Hey guys! Glad you could—" He cut himself off with a nervous 'meep' as Bakura rushed in past him, dragging his lighter half behind him.

The thief turned and pointed outside. "You have not seen the last of me yet, White Damnation! For I am the Great Bakura and I won't let you _win!_"

Joey blinked at him for a moment, then stated, "You can go plot with Yami, Seto, Malik, and Marik. They're trying to come up with ways to banish snow forever."

Ryou blinked as he was suddenly left with a pile of wet clothing at his feet, and he realized that Bakura had once been wearing them—all five of the sweaters, two coats, extra pair of pants, and three pairs of socks. Sighing, he bent to retrieve them. "Sorry about that."

The blond smiled. "Oh, that's okay. I was actually surprised this morning when I was in the bathroom and heard Seto start screaming curses in three different languages. Mokuba says his brother hates the cold, which is probably the only reason why he's actually agreeing to _plot_ with Yami and 'two crazy Egyptian freaks.'" He grimaced. "And that's why the heater is cranked up to eighty."

"I see." The albino sighed, then merely shoved the pile of clothing with the other piles—he assumed from the other Egyptians. "So what are _we_ doing then?"

"You, Mokuba, and Yug' are helpin' me frost gingerbread men in the kitchen!" the taller teen replied brightly.

"_SHUT THE DAMN DOOR!_"

The two jumped, and Joey hurriedly slammed the door shut, just now realizing that they'd been talking the whole time with it open. Then, they turned, to see all of them poking their heads out of the living room and glaring. At that, the blond immediately became offended. "I believe you guys are plannin' t' _eat._" The glares faltered. Joey's glare merely grew in intensity. "And I believe you guys are plannin' t' eat _my food._"

"…We didn't mean anything!" Malik exclaimed quickly, rushing out of the living room. "You know what! I really don't mind snow! I'll help you in the kitchen!"

The blond smiled and patted him on the head, then turned his glare on the other four men, making them shrink back. "I'll be damned if ya come in _my_ kitchen. So you guys just… stay out here, and plan the snow's downfall," he drawled sarcastically, then turned and stomped back into the kitchen.

Ryou scowled as well. "And no more banishing the snow to the shadow realm! You're probably sending the monsters into a downright panic!" And he turned to stomp after his friend.

The four men looked at each for a few moments, sizing each other up, before Bakura roared and pointed out the window at the snow. "Don't think you've won yet, White Damnation! We'll all be able to think up a plan with full stomachs! _We've got all night, I tell you!_"

"Well said!" Marik cheered, and the four began to plot anew the downfall of the snow outside.


	21. Birthday Crass: T

Birthday Crass

Seto despised his birthday. He hated that it always seemed to fall on a school day. He _loathed_ coming to school and having gifts forced on him by girls and teachers. He wished he could just skip his birthday all together. But, since he forced his brother to go to school on _his_ birthday, Seto had to do the same. Because what sort of role model would he be if he didn't practice what he preached?

Narrowing his eyes at the mountain of gifts and cards on his desk, he growled softly and walked over to it. The various girls watched with bated breath to see what he would do, whether he chose to keep any of the cards or not. However, the brunet was not interested. Snorting in contempt, he slammed his hand down on the desk and shoved all of the gifts and cards off, then sat down, opened his briefcase, and pulled out his laptop to begin to work.

However, a few minutes into his work, he heard some whispers and a giggle nearby, forcing him to look up. He was slightly surprised to find Yugi pushing Joey in his direction, but he was more annoyed. "Can I _help_ you?"

Joey scowled, opened his mouth to say something, closed it, then looked away quickly, blushing a little. "Here."

Seto blinked as something was shoved into his arms, then looked down at it. Big blue eyes peered up at him from a white face, framed by three black lashes. He was holding a Blue-Eyes plushie—but not one he'd ever seen before, and he _definitely_ didn't have this one sitting on his bed (which was surprising, because he had like… fifty). He raised an eyebrow, then glanced back up at the blond.

Yugi smiled brightly. "I designed it and Joey made it. Happy birthday, Kaiba!" Seeing the brunet's eyebrow twitched, he quickly retreated back to his desk.

Joey had also seen the older boy's eyebrow twitch. He was not okay with that. Growling, he slammed his hand down on the brunet's shoulder, startling him. "Seto Kaiba, if ya throw that plushie away, I'm gonna find ya and I'm gonna kill ya. Got it?"

Seto found it in his best interest to nod, so he did so. "Alright, _fine._" He narrowed his eyes, then lifted a hand to grab the blond's collar, yanking him down to eyelevel. "But if you think you're getting away with this pitiful display then you are _sorely_ mistaken, mutt."

"…Hmm." The blond smiled slightly, trying to make it look like a smirk as much as possible as he added in a whisper, "Well, I was plannin' on visitin' my boyfriend tonight. I dunno if I can afford wastin' time in another _display_ for ya, Kaiba."

The older boy chuckled softly, chancing a nip at his ear, though to anyone else, he could have been trembling with rage and snapping at him in a whisper. "Well, I wouldn't want you to miss a date with your boyfriend. …Though your boyfriend _does_ expect a better gift tonight…"

Leaning back quickly, Joey blushed, scowling at him. "It's not a gift if ya get it all the time!"

"Mm." Seto narrowed his eyes slyly. "It is when you get the gift in a different package."

The blond sputtered in embarrassment, for some reason easily translating 'a gift in a different package' to 'we're trying something new tonight when we have sex.' "Y-y-you-! _Agh!_ Go t' hell!" he snapped finally, before turning and stomping over to his desk.

The older boy turned back to the plushie in his hands and couldn't help a small, amused smile. Perhaps he could get Joey to make more. Though he had to wonder… why did Joey think anyone would _ever_ find out about their relationship with the way they acted around each other?


	22. Horrible Pet Names: T

Horrible Pet Names

Girls were decidedly _mean._ Sure, they could act all sweet, and sugary, like Téa, but this was also a girl who had a mean left hook! And not only that, but they could get possessive over the dumbest things! There had once been a fight in homeroom between two girls over a flipping _pen._ Sure, it was a pink, sparkly pen, but still a _pen._ And they grew braver in packs. So brave, in fact, that they'd grow almost _cruel._

And Joey damned them. He damned them _all_ (except for Téa, Mai, and his adorable sister Serenity, of course).

One of the groups of rabid Kaiba-Fan-Girls had decided to honor their beloved by insulting Joey whenever Kaiba wasn't around. They'd called him mutt, third-rate duelist, moron, loser. They'd made him feel crappier than Kaiba could on his best day while Joey was on his worst. And he wanted to make them pay. Pay like he'd never made anybody pay before.

Except he couldn't hit them. He had a rule against hitting girls, so he couldn't just go at them like he could Kaiba. And he couldn't run away, because it was usually during school. It was really starting to get on his nerves, but even more-so hurtful. He could feel his hurt growing each and every day. He just wanted to be able to hurt them back, before he felt his heart break and his friends wouldn't be able to fix it.

Sighing, he blinked in surprise when he found there was no limo waiting outside. But Kaiba was yelling into his cell phone, so that explained it. Joey felt a decidedly evil grin curl at his lips as he realized that the abusive group of Kaiba-Fan-Girls was just coming out the doors. Oh, this was going to be the _best!_

"Guys? I'm… gonna be right back."

Yugi frowned. "…I have a baaad feeling about that smile."

"But it might be amusing," Téa pointed out, smiling.

Walking up to the brunet just as he was snapping it shut, Joey smiled brightly. "Hey, Kaiba!"

Seto growled and turned to face him. He was so pissed off, and now the mutt was bothering him?! He blinked as the blond's warm, surprisingly soft hands suddenly cupped his face, then frowned in confusion; why was the other boy's face getting so close—Oh, oh God. Those were soft lips. Those were soft, _pleasing_ lips.

The blond smiled again as he pulled back, then glanced over his shoulder. Those stupid fan girls looked horrified. Well, that wasn't good enough. He wanted their hearts to _break._

The brunet moaned as the puppy leaned in and kissed him again, then slid his hands up and into his thick mop of hair. "Mmn… Puppy…"

…This had not been what he'd been planning on when he'd walked up to kiss him. Trying to pull away casually, he let out a small squeak when the brunet yanked him back by the grip on his hair and slid his tongue into his mouth. "Mph!"

Growling dominantly, Seto slid one of his hands down to grab his ass cheek, making the other boy squeak again, but damned if he was stopping now. He moaned his approval when the blond lifted a leg to hook over his hip and slid his hand from his ass to under his thigh, yanking him closer. The younger teen mewled and tried to cuddle closer, tilting his head to give the brunet a better angle to plunder his mouth.

When he realized just how far they were going, Joey squeaked and broke the kiss, hurriedly yanking away with him. "What the hell?!"

The older teen blinked at his empty arms for a minute, then turned a glare on the blond. "Okay, _you are_ the one that came and kissed _me._"

"But you're the one tryin' t' get int' my _pants!_" the blond squealed, blushing. "I just kissed! _You_ had your hand on my _ass!_"

Seto scowled and opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a few shrill shrieks of fury, and he found himself horrified and appalled when the blond was accosted by four girls from a different class, beating on him and kicking him wildly.

"You stupid _mutt!_"

"How _dare_ you touch Kaiba-sempai!"

"What makes you think you have the right to speak to him like that!? Let alone kiss him with that dirty mouth-!"

"You really _are_ a stupid puppy!"

Seeing the flickers of pain and tears forming in the blond's big, brown eyes, Seto growled angrily, then reached between all of the battering limbs, caught the collar of his shirt, and yanked him out from amidst the painful punches and kicks. Pulling the smaller boy to his chest in a protective hug, he only had to hear a few whimpers before he gave all the girls a venomous glare. "Just _what_ did you think you were doing? What _right_ do you have to tell him what he can or can't do?"

One of the girls—not quite as terrified as the others—stuttered, "W-w-well you always call _him_—"

"He is _my_ puppy, bitch. _Mine._ How _dare_ you ever think that you could ever call him by my pet names!"

Joey blinked, then looked up at the brunet in confusion. _'He thinks those are pet names? …He needs some help…'_

Hugging the blond closer, the CEO spat, "Just run along to hide under whatever rock you came from." Oh, what a coincidence! His limo was pulling up. "Come on, puppy."

"Ah-!" The blond yelped as he was yanked toward the car and looked toward his friends desperately. He was horrified when they only smiled at him and waved. "K-Kaiba, I—"

Sighing, Seto sat the blond down in the seat across from him and frowned disapprovingly. "You should have _told_ me they were doing that, puppy."

Joey blinked at him for a moment. "I… should have…"

"Of _course._ I wouldn't let anyone use those words to hurt you. They took my pet names and made them hurt." The brunet tilted his head thoughtfully. "Though I'm surprised you've suddenly stopped playing coy. I actually sort of enjoyed that."

The blond frowned. _'He… actually believes those things are __**pet names.**__'_ Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Playin' coy?"

Seto rolled his eyes. "Well you were _obviously_ playing hard to get, puppy. I was almost beginning to think you were losing interest in me."

'_There's something seriously wrong with you.'_ But he wouldn't actually say that out loud. "Well… thanks for saving me from those girls, Kaiba. If… if you could just drop me off at Yug's shop."

The CEO raised an eyebrow at him and frowned in disapproval. "I believe we were in the middle of something earlier before you pulled away."

Joey tilted his head again in confusion. But, when he realized that the brunet was talking about their… slightly less than chaste kiss, he blushed. "K-K-Kaiba, I don't— No." Scowling, he shook his head. "No. Nothin' past kissin'."

"…Nothing past kissing."

As they pulled up beside the shop (when had the driver heard him?) and he saw the brunet begin to get a little bit upset, he leaned forward and pressed a hand to his chest, offering him a sweet smile. "But maybe after a few dates." He slid his hand down the other boy's chest, leaning forward to press a soft, short kiss to his lips. "Maybe a little more after a few dates."

Seto gasped as the blond reached his crotch and gave it a squeeze, then growled and lunged forward. "You teasing _bitch!_"

Having expected such a reaction, the blond dodged toward the door and slipped outside, dipping back in for one last smile. "Pick me up tomorrow at seven, 'kay?"

"Pick you up tomorrow and fuck you into a _wall,_ mutt!" the brunet snarled, just before the door slammed.

Joey giggled and placed his hands behind his head as he turned to walk into the shop to wait for his friends. Yeah, he supposed those _were_ pet names in Seto's book. Stupid ones if he had _ever_ planned on getting laid, but pet names just the same. Well, at least he could look on the bright side. He'd just scored a date with a hot brunet that would no doubt willingly pound him into some sort of surface as soon as he allowed him, and…he'd no doubt just made those bitches _hurt._


	23. Bad Dreams: K Plus

Author's Note: This is based on _this_ picture:

http : / / i53 . photobucket . com / albums / g42 / chubby _ wolf _ 13 / Yu-Gi-Oh / Puppyshipping / Joey _ Seto38 . jpg

Just take out the spaces and you'll be able to see the cuteness! **:**D

Bad Dreams

Joey gasped and sat up quickly, then frantically ran his hands through his sweaty hair. Once he was relatively calm, he turned to the other side of the bed. He gasped again when he realized his lover wasn't also in the bed with him, then threw the covers off and began his frantic search for him, hoping against hope that he wasn't dead.

-x-x-x-

Seto sighed and took a sip of coffee as he looked over a project proposal. He hated to get up so early just for work on a Saturday, but he wanted to spend time with his puppy, so he needed to get some of this stuff out of the way. …No matter how boring it was.

He blinked as he was pulled into a semi-hug, his head pressed against a warm, firm chest. "…Hello?" But then the chest was trembling, and he realized that whoever it was had started crying. Glancing upward a little, he was horrified to find his puppy whimpering quietly. He set down both his coffee and the report quickly, then scooted his chair back to pull the blond onto his lap. "Puppy, what's wrong?"

Joey nuzzled into his chest and sobbed. "I-I-I had a b-bad dr-dream-! S-someo-one h-hurt you—I thought you—I thought you were—H-h-he'd _killed_ yooou!"

"Ah. I see." Sighing, the brunet began threading his fingers through the smaller boy's golden hair. "I'm fine, puppy. See? I'm alive and well. Stop crying, please?"

The younger boy sniffled and whimpered a little. "B-b-but you got killed—"

"Look at me. Do I look dead to you?"

Joey looked up at him and sniffled again. "N-no."

"See? I'm fine. In fact, I did all of this work so I could spend the day with you," Seto added, motioning at the papers on his desk. He hadn't actually gotten to finish them—he'd just begun when the blond had come in—but he couldn't see how a little white lie would hurt right now.

The blond blinked up at him in surprise, then offered him a weak, stilly slightly wet smile. "R-really?"

"Really," the older boy assured. He tilted his head, taking in the blond's beautiful expression, then stood, causing his lover to yelp as he scooped him up and began carrying him out of the office. "But we're spending the first half of that day in bed."

Joey leaned in his against the brunet's chest. Normally, he'd get upset and fight. However, he'd just gotten over a huge scare, so he was okay with it today. Besides, Seto had only said half the day, which was a step up from normal.


	24. Solve for X: K Plus

Solve for X

"Just stay out of my way, mutt, and try not to mess up what I've done."

Joey frowned, then crossed his arms on his desk and laid his chin on them, sighing sadly. He watched as the brunet began to fly through the math test they'd been given. This partner thing was new, to see if they'd really learned the material—and if they hadn't, hopefully the other partner would be able to teach them. He knew he wasn't very good at math, but really, Kaiba didn't have to be so mean about it.

He sighed as the brunet slapped the test down in front of him to copy and picked up his pencil, then began copying his work. He was a bit annoyed when the CEO pulled out a book and began to read, but he was more hurt. He felt hurt that his teacher got so much sadistic pleasure out of pairing him with Kaiba, and he felt hurt because Kaiba did exactly as the teacher wanted—made him feel just as stupid as he knew he was.

Once he was finished, he laid both tests in the middle of their joined desks and retook his position on top of his desk. Moments later, the teacher swept by and scooped up their tests. Joey closed his eyes tightly and waited for it.

Seto glanced over, then frowned in confusion at the look of expectation of humiliation on his face. They'd finished the test, they'd for sure receive an A, so why did he look like he was about to cry?

"Mr. Wheeler, I noticed that you've dramatically improved on your test from last time with Mr. Kaiba's help," the teacher stated, walking back toward the casually. "So I'm sure you understand what it is we just took a test on. Would you mind explaining for me… problem number four?"

Joey sighed, then sat up straight and looked down at the test set in front of him blankly. He knew this was coming. Now he just had to hope he could bullshit his way through it.

Seto watched as the boy struggled with an explanation and felt a strange sense of pity forming in chest, quickly followed by one of regret. He should have explained it to him, so he at least had an _idea_ of what they were doing. But seeing the look of sheer joy in the teacher's eyes, he realized that this was what the teacher wanted; she _wanted_ to humiliate the blond. The only way it could be any worse for the blond was—No, no. People _were_ looking their direction to see if he could do it. So he _was_ suffering to the full extent he could.

The blond ran a hand through his hair in frustration, trembling from the want to cry, because this teacher hated him and this was the second time this week she was doing this to him. He felt so badly, he just wanted to curl up under a rock_,_ or be swallowed up by the floor. Or, even better, he just wanted to _die_ so he didn't have to feel the utter humiliation he was going through!

He frowned in confusion when a hand slid into his line of vision and slowly began dragging the test over, then looked up. "Huh…?"

"Let me explain this problem to you again," Seto offered, scooting his chair a little closer to him.

Joey tilted his head. "…I don't… understand…"

"So let me explain it to you." He glanced up at the teacher seemingly carelessly, then raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, did you need something?"

She sputtered at him for a moment, then scowled. "Mr. Kaiba, if Mr. Wheeler doesn't understand the test—"

"Then it's my responsibility to _explain_ it to him," Seto snapped, glaring at her coldly. This was followed by a narrowing of eyes that she recognized as a warning, because she was doing something that displeased him because his routine was being broken or his power tested.

And she got the message loud and clear. _'Stop messing with __**my**__ puppy, bitch.'_

She narrowed her eyes, then huffed and swept away from them. "Make sure he understands it well!"

Joey frowned, brows furrowing together, then turned to look at Seto in confusion. "Why…?"

"I need to look after my puppy, don't I?" the brunet replied, then looked back at the test. "This one is actually pretty easy. We're just solving for 'x' and—"


	25. Short Circuit and Crash: T

Short Circuit and Crash

Seto tilted his head, frowning, as he looked down at the blond fidgeting in front of him. "…You're the one that asked to speak to _me,_ mutt. What the hell do you want?"

Joey winced a little, then looked up at him through his bangs bashfully. "Well, ya see… the things is… What happened is that… Um…"

"Spit it _out,_ mutt." He didn't want to lose his temper. He'd been trying to be at least _cordial_ with the geek squad. He _would not_ lose his temper-!

The blond winced again, then hurriedly replied, "Okay, so, I kinda sorta maybe like ya a lot more than I originally planned."

Seto felt his brain short-circuit, crash, and die. While it was rebooting, he blinked. "…What?"

Joey fidgeted a few more seconds, then reached forward and grabbed his shoulders. The brunet could only continue to blink as he found his lips smashed against the puppy's. His newly rebooted brain short-circuited and crashed again.

The blond broke the kiss and looked up at him to see what sort of reaction he'd get. When he found a blank stare was his only reward, he sighed dejectedly and let go of the older boy's shoulders to shove his hands in his pockets. Then, he turned and trudged back into the classroom. How could he _ever_ think that the billionaire would want _him,_ the worthless mutt?

_Beep… beep… beep… Ding dong dong ding!_

Seto blinked a few more times as his mind began to sort out all of the previously closed windows of information, then frowned. The puppy had kissed him, then walked away like he was heartbroken. Why was that? Ah—he'd taken too long to reply to him, that's what. He probably thought he'd rejected him.

Striding back into the classroom quickly, he caught the other boy just as he was about to sit back down and grabbed his hair to yank him into a rough kiss. He was proud to say that his brain did _not_ shut down this time.

Joey whimpered softly in confusion. Hadn't he just been rejected? Why would the brunet come and make fun of him like this? He hadn't thought that Seto would be that cruel…

Once finished thoroughly ravaging the blond's mouth, Seto leaned back and gazed at him sternly. "I'm picking you up at six o'clock for a date, puppy."

"But… What?" The puppy in question tilted his head, eyes muddied with confusion as he looked up at him. "Huh?"

"You crashed my brain," the CEO replied, tapping him lightly on the nose. "It takes a moment for it to reboot." And with that, he turned to walk to his own desk.

Joey blushed a little and brought a hand up to touch his lips, then frowned. "What the hell was he talkin' about?"

Téa scowled. "It figures that the guy always working on his computer would have a brain that functions like one."

"Huh?" The blond looked up at her in confusion. "What?"

"He liked your kiss, but you shocked him so badly that he couldn't respond for a while," Yugi explained for him. Joey had never been good at computers.

"…Oh." Joey tilted his head in thought, then smiled brightly. "I'll be right back."

"Why, what are you-?" Tristan began, then cut himself off as his friend swaggered toward the CEO. "…This should be interesting."

Seto blinked as he felt his chair sliding away from his desk, then turned his head angrily to snap at whoever dared. But, then he had a puppy in his lap, and he really didn't know what to do—Oh, God, the puppy was _eating his face._ When their lips parted with a smack, he could only stare as his mind began to reboot again.

Joey smiled; he decided he liked "crashing Kaiba's brain." It made him feel like he had the upper hand for once in his life—

Well, at least until the dragon roared and forced him to lean back on the desk as he practically raped his mouth.


	26. Disapproval: T

Author's Note: Good heavens, this one's a little angsty. D**:** There may be a follow up drabble to this one; I can't tell whether I am pleased or displeased with the ending of this one.

Disapproval

Mokuba was growing up. Seto did not approve.

He did not approve of the black clothing, or the piercings—which he had _not_ given permission for, but the little brat had somehow gotten it anyway. He did not approve of the moonlighting each night with different girls, and even a few guys. He did not approve of the blatant disregard he had for his elders—and therefore hurt, because his baby brother had used to look up to him.

And he disapproved of the fact that his baby brother had just made his lover _cry._

Of course, Joey tried to be strong. He was currently doing a very good job of keeping his tears held back, his shoulders straight, and his bottom lip firm. But every few seconds, his eyes would glimmer with extra moisture, or his lower lip and shoulders would tremble. His resolve would break soon.

Slamming his hands down on the table, the brunet stood swiftly, face contorting in fury. "Mokuba Kaiba!"

At that, Mokuba looked up at him quickly. He knew he'd been pushing his limits with his brother with all of this rebellion, but even _he_ was not suicidal enough to defy Seto when he got this angry. "Yes, Seto?"

"Don't you say something so hurtful to Joey and then talk to me so casually!" Seto exclaimed angrily. "He has _cooked_ for you, he has _picked up_ after you, he has _coddled_ you and he has _pampered_ you! How _dare_ you call him an ungrateful freeloader!? He is my _lover,_ Mokuba! He has a job he _enjoys_ and he would have his own apartment had I not _asked_ him to move in with me!"

Mokuba sighed and crossed his arms. "_Fine._ Joey, I'm _sorry._ Okay?"

Joey narrowed his eyes at him angrily, then hissed, "Ya spoiled little _brat._" Both Kaibas actually expected him to lose his temper and hit either one of them, but were surprised when the blond stomped out of the kitchen.

Until they heard him burst into tears once the doors had swung closed, hiding him from view.

Seto snapped his attention back to his brother and growled. "You didn't—how could you—why would you—_MOKUBA KAIBAAAA!_"

Mokuba mused that this feeling of annoyance is what Seto must have felt when Joey yelled at him in earlier years.

"Mokuba Kaiba, you are going to march out of this kitchen and apologize to Joey!" the brunet ordered, looming over him imposingly. "Then, you're going to go upstairs and change out of those horribly ripped clothes. You're going to follow that up with taking those—those _things_ out of your face and ear—"

"Called _piercings,_ Seto!" the younger boy exclaimed angrily. "And I'm not taking them out—"

He'd had _enough._ "YOU WILL TAKE THEM OUT OR SO HELP ME YOU ARE _FIRED_ AND _GROUNDED!_" the brunet roared.

Somewhere in the mansion, a chandelier fell to the ground from the reverberations.

Seto glared at his little brother for a few seconds, panting, then took a deep, semi-calming breath and straightened his posture. He paused a moment to neaten his clothes, then stated, "I'm going to go say goodbye to Joey, and then I'm going to work." He spared the raven-haired teen one last glare. "If you come to work dressed in that outfit and with those _'piercings—'_" Here he used his fingers as quote marks—because he knew it would piss his brother off. "—Still in your face, I'm going to boot you back onto the sidewalk outside. Literally. My _boot_ up your _ass._ …If you must, you may keep your ear piercing. But that lip piercing _has_ to go." And he left the room.

Mokuba sat at the table for a few more minutes, then winced as the front door slammed shut; his brother was still really angry. He hesitantly reached up to pull the fake lip ring off, then pulled out the bright red hair extensions he'd clipped in just the other day. He reached up to take off the clip-on earring as well. He didn't want to test his brother.

Peeking out of the kitchen, he winced again when his eyes landed on the blond's hunched shoulders. "…Joey? …I didn't mean it…"

"Yeah, well, ya won your fuckin' bet," Joey replied, not turning to face him. He wasn't sure he could do so and not cry. "Seto is just as protective of me as he is of you—even against each other. So just… just go t' work, ya brat."

Mokuba watched him stomp away, then sighed. He knew he's gone too far this time, but he'd wanted so badly to show Joey that Seto cared just as much about him as he did his baby brother… It had just slipped out.

And now Seto _and_ Joey were mad at him.


	27. Jealousy: T

Author's Note: This is puppyshipping and puzzleshipping. Any other pairings are your imagination. Sort of. **:3**

Jealousy

"…I say we just leave them," Joey stated irritably. "They do this _every_ time!"

Yugi frowned and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. It was true that Yami and Seto got into a duel almost every time they got together to do something. Leaving them would only punish them enough for a few days, maybe. They needed a way to teach them that getting into duels when they were supposed to be going out was a very bad idea—and not just because their partners would leave them there.

"…Hey, Joey, follow my lead," the younger teen ordered, reaching up to grab his shoulders.

Joey frowned in confusion. "Why? Wha—Mmmm!" He let out a high-pitched, smothered squeal as the smaller boy pulled him into a kiss. Didn't he realize how dangerous this was?! Yami could mind crush them, and Seto could just flat out crush them! Was he insane?!

…Seto and Yami hadn't even TURNED AWAY FROM THEIR DUEL. Well, screw that thought.

Mewling as the smaller boy reached up and grabbed his hair, he leaned back against the counter and pulled him closer, grinding their hips together gently. "Mmn… Yugi…"

"Joey… Ah…" Yugi squeaked and shot the blond a glare when he gave his ass a squeeze. "Not that far, stupid!"

"You'd be surprised how far it takes before Seto realizes somethin'," the taller boy replied, then looked over at their still dueling boyfriends. He sighed in frustration, then all out laid over the counter, moaning loudly. "_Ooooh,_ Yugi!"

Yugi blushed and looked over at their boyfriends quickly. Surely the must have heard _that?_

…They were still DUELING.

Scowling, the smaller boy glared at them momentarily before turning and dragging the blond into another kiss.

Seto frowned, eyes narrowing slightly. When he heard the long, strangled moan, though, he turned sharply and let out a horrified yelp. "P-puppy!"

Of course, that made Yami look too. He was also horrified. "Aibou!"

Both dueling men didn't really know what to do; they were torn between both horror and arousal. Their ukes were so thoroughly and savagely kissing each other, but… but they were their _ukes!_

WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO CHOOSE?!

When both boys began to moan and grind against each other, they'd finally come to a conclusion. Their ukes were doubtlessly _hot_ making out with each other, but they should only be making out with their respective semes.

Right now, preferably.

Yugi let out a yelp as he was yanked away from the blond beneath him and looked up in confusion. "Y-Y-Yami?"

"I'm sorry, Kaiba, but we'll have to conclude this duel some other time," Yami stated, ushering the younger boy toward the stairs. "And reschedule whatever date Yugi and Joey had planned."

"Good idea," Seto replied, grabbing Joey around the waist and hoisting him over his shoulder. "Some other time, then."

"H-hey! This is _not_ what was supposed t' happen!" Joey exclaimed, wriggling a little, then looked at Yugi hopefully to see if _he_ had any chance of escaping. …He did not. "…This is all your fault, Yug'!"

Yugi shrugged helplessly before both dragon and puppy left the shop completely. "It _sort of_ worked, right?!"


	28. Right and Wrong: M

Author's Note: …Yeah. In case you hadn't realized yet, I'm into Joey getting spanked—especially by Seto. So… this is sort of about that, so if you don't like it, I'd suggest you steer clear. Just FYI.

Right and Wrong

Seto had actually thought about it long and hard. Joey had never said anything, but he never really had to; the brunet understood that humiliation wasn't exactly a common kink, and him having it was probably the result of his own twisted upbringing with Gozaburo. Besides, he was pushing it with teasing him about being a dog. The blond had refused to have sex with him doggy-style for the first year of their relationship because he was still so sensitive about being called a third-rate mutt—not that Seto had called him that even once since they started dating.

So he'd stopped spanking him. It wasn't something he necessarily needed, after all; he could make do with rimming (because the blond was humiliated while he was doing that anyway, no matter how much he reassured him that lots of gay couples participated in it) and teasing him by making him tell him what exactly he liked during sex (which also humiliated him, though the brunet couldn't find a reason why _that_ was either). It wasn't his fault that Joey was so easily embarrassed.

In the end, it all came down to making Joey happy.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"What did I do wrong?"

Seto blinked. The blond was looking at him like a wounded puppy—he was hurt and he wanted to fix whatever it was that was hurting him. He had no idea why he would look at him like that. Joey hadn't done anything wrong and he _definitely_ hadn't done anything to make him think he had.

"…I don't understand. You've done nothing wrong." The brunet frowned in concern. "…Have I done something to make you believe you have?"

"Ya don't— …Ya stopped…" Joey blushed and looked away from him quickly. "It… Never mind. It's nothin'."

The older boy stood up from his desk and began toward him. "No, it's obviously bothering you. Tell me what's wrong."

"…I…" The blond kept his gaze down, even as he felt his dragon gently grabbing his hands. "…Ya stopped… Ya stopped spankin' me."

Seto felt his brain shut down in confusion. His puppy _wanted_ to be spanked? Even though he'd made it clear that he didn't care for his kink in humiliating him?

IT DID NOT MAKE SENSE.

Joey shook his head quickly, immediately interpreting his silence as disgust, and tried to turn away as tears of embarrassment formed in his eyes. "N-never mind. It doesn't matter."

"…Whoa. Wait. You _liked_ me spanking you?" Seto asked, yanking him back to face him. "Why?"

The blond tried to turn his gaze away, whimpering quietly when the older boy grabbed his chin and forced him to look at his face. "D-don't worry about it, I—"

"I want to know," the brunet growled, scowling, and was satisfied when the blond stopped struggling and sighed in defeat. "Now tell me."

Joey let his gaze drift away from the brunet's eyes and sighed again. "…I… I like the sting I feel, and then havin' ya massage the spot ya hit t' make it feel better. 'nd sometimes… sometimes ya even kiss it better, too," he explained, blush darkening. "I… I like knowin' that I'm satisfyin' one of your kinks and at the same time… at the same time, you're tryin' t' make me feel better about doin' it. Ya never actually make it hurt."

Seto blinked at him for a few moments, speechless, then let out a roar and threw the blond over his shoulder. "_Mine!_"

"Ack-! Seto! Seto, what are ya doin'!? Hey! _Hey!_" The blond yelped as his questions only earned him a short smack on the ass, and then a lecherous rub that was rough but somehow soothing. "Meep!"

"You think you can say all those things to me and just walk away?! Fuck, puppy, you'll be lucky if I let you leave our room today!"

Joey peeked over his shoulder at him and anxiously asked, "So it wasn't somethin' I did? Ya just thought I didn't like it?"

"…Yes."

"Oh. …Well that was thoughtful of ya." The blond squeaked as he got another spank. "Eep!"

"Remind me to never be thoughtful again!" Seto snarled, before slipping into the bedroom and slamming the door shut.

He had never been so happy to be wrong.


	29. Intent: K Plus

Intent

Seto called it his 'puppy's love touch.'

Joey called it 'Seto's love with intent to molest.'

He wouldn't deny that Seto loved him. He was certain the brunet loved him a lot (it's not like he could argue that he didn't, considering he had made his own brother once jump into a moving vehicle just so he could come comfort him in his time of need), and therefore any attempt at saying he didn't would be met with either a White Lightning Attack or a "RRROAR OM NOM NOM," where he would then be either dead or a puddle of puppy goo being molested by his dragon to prove him wrong.

He still failed to see how Seto killing him by White Lightning because he was offended could ever be considered a show of love and affection.

But we digress.

Joey hated that both names were entirely accurate. Because Seto did touch him with the utmost care and love. And because Seto rarely ever touched _without_ that intent to molest.

There were some days he was glad that Seto came home exhausted from work. There was very little intent then.

There were other days he was glad that Seto came home frisky and happy from a successful merger—or a day without his employees screwing up. There was a lot of intent those days.

But, he decided, as he glanced up at his lover, he was really happy either way with him, no matter how much his 'intent to molest' varied. Because eventually, his energy ran out, and all he could do was cuddle his lover close and inform him just how cute and special he was, and how much he loved his puppy.

Joey wouldn't give any of that up for the world.


	30. Space: T

Space

Seto stepped into the bedroom and raised an eyebrow, then glanced around for his puppy. He could have sworn that he'd heard Joey call that he was in the bedroom… "Puppy?"

"'m under here!"

The brunet blinked, then get down on his hands and knees to peer under the bed. "…Joey, what are you doing under the bed?"

Joey scowled at him and curled a little smaller, hiding his books and papers from view. "I told ya there's too much space for me! Down here, it's not as big!"

"…Are you _really_ doing your homework under my bed?" Seto asked, needing confirmation to believe such a silly thing was happening.

"…Technically, _no._ I'm doin' my homework under _our_ bed," the blond replied, then shrunk a little under the incredulous stare he earned. "…I… I can go do it somewhere else if it really bothers ya." When the older boy didn't answer and only continued to gape at him, he looked away quickly.

He hadn't really thought it was that bizarre until Seto had come and made him aware of it. He knew that he made Seto put up with a lot of his quirks, but this one was entirely unnecessary; he could have just gone in his office with him and the problem would be solved. He just hadn't wanted to bother or distract him.

…Because Seto _always_ ended up distracted and… bothered. Hot and bothered, actually. Not always unwelcome, but he was actually trying to work sometimes.

Joey frowned as he heard the brunet sigh and get up, then turned to watch his feet as he walked out of the room. Then, he let his head fall onto his books in defeat. He should have known that Seto had limits to how much weird he could handle. After a few minutes of pondering what he could do to remedy the situation, he sighed and began to gather up his papers and close his books.

He squeaked in surprise as something suddenly slid under the bed and jumped, then whimpered as he hit his head on the bed. "Ow!" He covered his head where he'd hit it quickly, then turned to glare at whatever had surprised him.

It was a laptop.

Seto grunted as he slid under the small lip of wood, muttering something about unnecessary adornments that really only made the bed look ugly and that's why the sheets covered it, then crawled over to lay out beside his boyfriend. He glanced around beneath the bed for a moment, then hummed thoughtfully. "I guess there's a lot more room down here than I thought." He turned and raised an eyebrow at his puppy's surprised and confused expression, then leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek.

Then he opened his laptop and began typing.

Joey blinked in confusion, wondering what had just happened. Then he giggled and leaned in to begin placing kisses along the brunet's neck. "Thanks, Seto."

Seto scowled but didn't take his eyes off the screen. "You better stop or we're going to do something that I don't think we'll have room for."

"If we shove out my books and your laptop, we'll have _plenty_ of room," the blond whispered, before his teeth caught the older boy's earlobe and he began to suck on it lovingly.

Seto's fingers stilled for a moment before he calmly closed his laptop and slid it out from under the bed. Joey purred and slid his arms around his neck after hurriedly kicking out his books and homework, then mewled as the brunet rolled onto his back and pulled him on top. Then he was yanked into a rough kiss.

There was plenty of space beneath the bed.


	31. Stormy Revelations: T

Stormy Revelations

Joey frowned and crossed his arms. He knew his lover was home. He'd promised he would be, and Seto didn't break promises. …That, and he'd seen his car in the driveway.

So why couldn't he find him?

He'd checked the library, the office, the game room, and even their bedroom! He'd also checked the living room, kitchen, and bathrooms! He couldn't have just disappeared into thin air! It just wasn't right! SETO DID NOT HAVE THAT POWER.

"Seto?" he called out, finally giving up on searching. "Where are you?" He frowned when he got no answer, then sighed dejectedly. He would have left the mansion then and there, but the storm outside was reaching full-pitch and he didn't really want to get a cold.

Turning to go to the living room, he let out a startled shriek as he found his lover right behind him. "OH MY GOD! …Don't _do_ that," he hissed, glaring at him.

Seto raised an eyebrow. "It's fun to watch you."

"I'll show _you_ what's fun to watch—" Joey began, grabbing the brunet's shirt and yanked him down. He stopped when the older boy flinched at a rumble of thunder. Other than the flinch, however, he gave no outward sign of discomfort. "…Seto? Are you afraid of thunder?"

"_No,_ I am _not,_" Seto replied huffily. Then there was another rumble of thunder, this time accompanied by lightning, and he wrapped his arms around the blond and yanked him into a hug.

The blond frowned. "…You are."

The CEO huffed angrily, then sighed. "…Maybe a little."

"Oh, Seto…" Joey leaned back and looked up at him sadly. "Why didn't ya tell me?"

"…I thought you'd laugh and make fun of me," Seto replied, looking away from him.

He… he really thought he'd…? Joey wouldn't lie. He was hurt that the brunet would ever think he'd tease him about being afraid of something. He… he thought… They'd been dating for months! He should have known him better by now!

Why had he been so wrong?

Seto frowned as the blond pulled out of his arms and grabbed his hands quickly before he could get completely away. "Joey?"

"…Do… do ya want me t' stay with ya until the storm's over?" the blond asked softly, not looking up at him. "…I will. At least until the thunder stops. Okay?"

He could tell something was wrong. But he could also tell that his lover was in one of those moods where he didn't want to speak. "…Okay."

Joey sighed and led him over to the couch in the living room, content to just cuddle with his dragon and pretend he was trusted. Perhaps… he was just Seto's puppy. Something he could occupy his time with and that would always be there when he got home. …And have sex with, too, he seemed to really enjoy that part. Not that Seto would ever have sex with a puppy.

Sometimes it was best for him to not think.

Seto raised an eyebrow as the blond's nose wrinkled in disgust. "What are you thinking about, puppy?"

"You and puppies. And sex."

"…At the same time?"

"…Sort of."

The brunet sighed and lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "…What got you started? It's obviously bothering you."

Joey frowned as another rumble of thunder interrupted them, causing the brunet to grip him tighter. "…I thought ya trusted me."

"I do trust you." Seto scowled, then caught his chin to force him to look up. "What makes you think I don't?"

He felt about to cry, but Joey made sure that none of his tears fell. "Why would ya think I'd laugh at ya or make fun of ya for bein' afraid of thunder?"

"You didn't tell me about your fear of spiders," the brunet pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "I would have teased you about it, sure, until I realized just how afraid you were. Do you know how afraid I was when I heard you scream that day? I thought you were being kidnapped. It was a mixture of relief and anger that I felt when I realized your screaming was because of a _spider._"

The blond winced. "…But… but how was I s'posed t' know? …You're the one that always made fun of _me,_ Seto. I only retaliated. _My_ fear was legitimate. _You_ should know that I'd never make fun of ya for bein' afraid."

Thinking back on it now, it was all true; he'd been the one to goad Joey into fights, not the other way around. Joey had actually tried to avoid him if he could. The blond had more of a right to be afraid he'd tease him.

Before he could apologize, Joey began speaking again. "Nothin' really scary about thunder anyway. Why's it make ya jumpy?"

"My father skidded off the road in a storm and we were sent from family to family until we landed in the orphanage," Seto replied bluntly. "It was storming when Gozaburo adopted us as well. And storming when I got a call from the hospital that you were there." He scowled. "Only _you_ would be dumb enough to run across the road in the middle of a storm—"

"I was just tryin' t' get home," the blond whispered, frowning. "I promised t' be home in time for dinner with ya. I was only tryin' t' get home."

The older boy frowned, then held his puppy closer. "…I wasn't aware of that. I'm sorry."

"—Car didn't hit me that hard anyway. Only got a sprained ankle—"

Seto tightened his grip on the blond as the thunder clapped again, then sighed and forcefully relaxed his grip. "Puppy…"

"—'nd I only wanted t' get back in time t' take a shower before we ate—"

"_Puppy._"

Joey frowned and looked up at him in confusion. "Seto?"

"…I'm afraid of thunder and lightning," the brunet stated. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wasn't aware that it would hurt your feelings."

"…Oh." The blond blushed and bit his bottom lip. "…Okay. Thanks." He hesitated a moment before sitting up a little and beginning to kiss the older boy's throat.

Seto let out his own rumble and pulled him closer. "Do you know what you're about to start, puppy?"

Joey only hesitated a minute before he latched onto the brunet's jugular and began fumbling with the buttons to his shirt. "Mmmmm hmm."

"Oh, fuck, God, Joey!"

"…Well I figured since you were gonna start in a few minutes anyway I might as well speed it up a little."

"…Ah. I see." His puppy squealed as he shoved him down on his back along the couch.


	32. Keeping in Touch: T

Keeping in Touch

"_Kaiba!_ Stop _stalking_ me!"

Seto blinked in surprise. He hadn't realized that the puppy even knew he was following him. Except, now that he did… evasion tactics were in order. "What are you talking about, mutt?"

Joey scowled and pointed at him angrily. "You've been followin' me since we got outta school, and then ya waited outside the game shop until I left, and you've been followin' me ever since! What the hell, man?! You've been doin' this every Friday for weeks!"

…Caught. Like a rat in a trap. "…Ah. That's what you're talking about."

"What the hell else _would_ I be talkin' about?! Now answer me, bastard! Why have ya been stalkin' me?!" the blond repeated, stomping his foot in frustration.

"Stalking is such a negative word," the older boy stated, crossing his arms. "I prefer the term… 'keeping in touch without actually touching.'"

"…" Joey blinked at him for a moment, then sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "What the fuck ever. Should I put that on the restrainin' order, or what?"

Seto frowned in concern. "…Restraining order?"

"_Yeah,_ ya psycho! A restrainin' order. I dunno why you're followin' me, but it can't be good, and I got some friends down at the police station who like me and don't wanna see me in anymore trouble, so they won't hesitate t' get me that order. And I'll never hafta worry about ya pickin' on me again!" The younger boy crossed his arms and huffed. "Bastard."

"Ah…" He could not stop the horror building in his chest. All of his carefully laid plans were crumbling in front of him.

"…Unless ya wanna _tell_ me why you've been 'keepin' in touch' with me," Joey added, crossing his arms and scowling at him. "I'm interested t' know why a 'pathetic mutt' caught your attention enough t' make ya stalk me."

Seto had two choices now. He could either retreat like a coward and possibly be served with a restraining order, slaughtering all hopes he had, or he could tell the puppy and potentially set himself up for public humiliation. But the blond's patience was fading fast, so he had no idea what to do except—

Joey yelped as the brunet grabbed his shoulders and closed his eyes tightly, preparing for a punch. What he got, however, was a rough kiss, complete with tongue and a hand grabbing his ass. "Mmn!" He mewled weakly, knees buckling, before being pulled flush against the brunet's body, where he felt the beginnings of an erection in the other boy's pants.

The brunet broke the kiss in favor of latching his mouth onto the younger boy's neck. Once he'd given him a hickey he was satisfied with, he leaned back to gaze into his glazed over brown eyes. "…That's why."

"…Buh?" The blond blinked at him hazily. "…What?"

Instead of answering him verbally, Seto dipped his head to kiss him again.

Joey couldn't bring himself to object.


	33. Zoning: T

Zoning

Joey smiled as he passed Mokuba on the stairs and reached out to ruffle his hair. "Hey, I just got home. Is Seto upstairs?"

"Yeah, but don't bother talking to him," the younger boy grumbled, scowling. "He's in 'the zone.' No matter what you say, he doesn't hear it until he's finished what he's working on. He hasn't done it months, though, so I think it's sort of overdue."

"Wha-! B-but he promised t' take me out t' dinner tonight!" The blond looked crushed. "…We were gonna go t' the movies, too…"

Mokuba frowned sympathetically. "Yeah, you'll have to reschedule that. Sorry, Joey."

"…It's okay…" he sighed, then scowled and placed his hands on his hips. "That _bastard._ He's not gettin' any for a week!"

"He probably won't come out of it for a week."

"Bwah!" Startled to hear the brunet would do something so dangerous—not to mention so completely _stupid—_he began up the steps even faster. He'd known that Seto was sort of focused, but this 'zone' thing was just ridiculous!

Stomping into the brunet's office, he slammed the door shut angrily. "Seto Kaiba!"

No answer.

Joey blinked in disbelief. Seto was sitting at his desk, typing away and looking extremely intent on the screen. He'd only seen his eyes that intense in the middle of— …Stuff.

"…Seto, the mansion's on fire." He wasn't too surprised when the brunet didn't respond; fires and explosions didn't appear to bother him (neither did jumping out second story windows, springing onto rope ladders to climb onto an already airborne helicopter, or flying his very own _Blue-Eyes _jet off of an exploding island).

"Mokuba's been kidnapped." The lack of answer didn't necessarily worry him, either. As Mokuba had gotten older, kidnappings had become fewer. …The last kidnappers actually sent Mokuba home with five hundred dollars so they'd take him back. The boy was an extremely unhelpful and very annoying hostage. That, and if Mokuba had been kidnapped, he would have been screaming and running around in circles, anyway.

"…You're not getting laid for a week." He was actually sort of surprised when the brunet didn't even snort derisively ("You can't withhold from me, puppy.") or glance up at him ("You can't be serious. Can you?").

Sighing, Joey shook his head, then crossed his arms and scowled, leaning against the door. "…Strange, I seem to have lost all of my clothes and can't find anymore. I wonder what will happen if I walk around _naked._"

SETO DIDN'T EVEN BLINK.

Jaw dropping slightly, the blond could only stare in disbelief. Seto _never_ gave up a chance to corner and molest him! …Something would have to be done about this.

Falling back against the door even more, Joey gasped quietly and pretended he was being pressed up against it. "Ah-! No, Seto could come and see-!"

He heard a soft curse as the brunet mistyped something and had to go back and delete it—Seto never mistyped anything. It was _working._

The blond paused to smirk before letting out a quiet groan. "No, no hickies, please—Seto knows which ones are his—_Oh!_"

Mistype. Curse. Delete. Type.

"Ah, please!" He paused to giggle quietly. "Don't touch me down there!"

Typing getting louder. Mistype—curse. Banging on the delete button. Type.

Joey moaned and reached up to dig his fingers into his hair—if he didn't do something with them, he knew he'd start touching himself in ways he was trying desperately not to—because then Seto wouldn't really be punished at all. "Ah, at least use a condom! Nn, please—Don't come inside me—only Seto can—I don't want—_Ahn!_"

Seto turned his head sharply to find his puppy glaring at him, arms crossed over his chest and leaning against the door. "…What the hell?"

"I hafta pretend t' be havin' sex in the _same room_ with ya for ya t' look away from that thing?!" he asked incredulously. "Up t' the point of havin' some fake person push into me?!"

"…What?"

"What's that computer got that I ain't got?!" the blond snapped, pointing at it. "Can ya pound it into any surface ya have it on?! Will it give ya the best blow job it can!? Will it snuggle and cuddle with ya and will it turn down goin' out with its _friends_ to have a dinner and movie date with ya only t' find out that _you can't go_ because you're too fuckin' _focused_ to pay it the time of day?!"

Seto blinked at him for a moment, trying to figure out just what was going on. Then, he realized, because tears of frustration and hurt were forming in the blond's eyes. Standing quickly, he began around the desk toward him. "Oh, puppy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I just—"

"I know, ya got focused on work." Joey turned his head away sharply when the brunet reached to cup his chin. "No. I'm _mad_ at ya, bastard—"

"I'll find a way to make this up to you," the brunet whispered, frowning, and pulled him into a hug. "I was just trying to get it done so I could send it to the idiots who messed it up and I could spend more time with you. I… I guess I wasn't doing a very good job of that, huh?"

The blond sniffled and shrugged uncomfortably, then looked up at him, frowning. "…Only _you_ would forget a date tryin' t' make more time for me, Seto." He paused, then smiled a little, curious and a little hesitant. "…How much time would ya have if ya finished?"

"…Probably four, five hours. If I postpone my meetings tomorrow, add twenty-four to that."

Joey leaned back and smiled at him brightly, all earlier ire forgotten. "I've got an idea! _You_ can finish what you're workin' on while I call your secretary and inform her that you're busy all day tomorrow! Then we can go out, find someplace still open for dinner, go see our movie, and… if we're not too tired…" He smirked and reached up to play with the top two buttons of his shirt. "We can make hot, passionate love for _hours…_"

"I don't know, puppy. I got pretty tired after three or four rounds." Seto smirked as well and reached up to run his thumb along the blond's lower lip. "If you're not against taking over while I try to catch my breath…"

"I'm sure I can… manage…" The blond leaned in to gently nibble on his chin and jaw. "Just tell me how long ya want me to ride ya, dragon. I'll make sure t' take it… slow… and long… t' make sure my dragon is _completely_ satisfied."

The brunet groaned and tilted his head back both in pleasure and frustration. "God, you make me so horny, puppy. How about on the desk?"

"Nnnope!" Joey smiled brightly. "You're going to finish what you're doing, then I'm having my date, and _then_ you can have your sex!" He patted the brunet on the chest soothingly. "You get t' work on that and I'll go call your secretary."

Seto blinked as the blond pulled out of his arms and nearly skipped out of the room, then let out a frustrated roar and walked back to his seat. He knew he had a half an hour—an hour at best—to work on and finish the program.

Screw it; he'd just fix it and send it back to the morons that had asked him to do it in the first place. He _would_ have this dinner-move date and he _would_ have his sex. It would take him ten minutes tops to get it fixed and sent, then another five to hurriedly change his clothes, and another five to whisk his surprised puppy into the car to start their date. A few short hours later, he'd have his surprisingly seductive puppy _right_ where he wanted him.

He would have paused to cackle evilly, but that would just take up precious moments that he _desperately_ wanted out of the way. He would never zone again.


	34. Coping Methods: T

Author's Note: I AM NOT PLEASED. I mean, I was at the beginning, but at the end, this didn't turn out the way I wanted it. OH WELL. Love it or hate it, here it is. **:3**

Coping Methods

Seto had at first worried that his puppy would feel too self-conscious to be comfortable having dinner out with him, especially at a classy place where he'd have to wear fancy clothes. However, when he'd come upon his puppy as he dressed for the occasion in his room, he'd been surprised to find the blond already comfortable in his black slacks, button-up green shirt, and simple black dinner jacket. In fact, Joey was so comfortable that he was dancing and shaking his hips to a Spice Girl's song as he say along into his hairbrush.

He'd truly contemplated jumping him then and there, but he was interested in seeing how things would play out, so he just leaned in the doorway and watched for a few minutes. As the blond had turned, cutting himself off in the middle of a line (_'I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really—'_), he froze like a deer in the headlights. Then, his face had heated up in embarrassment and he'd locked himself in the bathroom after flinging the brush at him.

Really, only the promise of food had gotten him to come out after that, he was so embarrassed.

However, now that worry had come back full force as he saw the pup glancing around nervously and hiding his eyes behind his bangs, especially when the hostess, the waitress taking their orders, or the waitress that brought their meals out began to flirt with him. He, of course, dealt with them with the same indifference he gave to all of the girls trying to sink their claws into him. However, he knew that Joey was sensitive about this type of thing and often felt inferior.

Needless to say, when a waiter came to gave him their bill and did _not_ flirt with him, Seto was pleased. His pleasure then died a painful and messy death when he instead flirted with his puppy. However, when he saw the blond blush and smile, feeling a little less mediocre than he had, he decided the man deserved a tip—but only because his puppy had sweetly shaken his head and thanked him, but Seto was his boyfriend, so the man promptly apologized, bowed, and appeared genuinely remorseful.

He'd said that Joey just looked like he needed the confidence boost so much that he couldn't help it. …Not that he wouldn't have flirted anyway if he was alone.

Seto gave the waiter a forty percent tip as long as he promised not to flirt with his puppy anymore. Making Joey blush was always fun, but he preferred to do it himself.

However, being snubbed by being given _no_ tip and being basically ignored except for taking their orders and leading them to their seats, the waitresses and hostess had gathered in the entrance/waiting room to ogle him as he left. He was ready to unleash his anger in a dragony torrent of unemployment and humiliation, but his puppy was too fast.

Seto squeaked quietly as the blond grabbed the collar of his dress shirt and yanked him into a rough kiss. After a few minutes of the pup raping his mouth, he gasped as he broke the kiss and took a moment to gather himself.

That didn't make him miss, however, the way Joey glared at the three star-struck (and now very horrified) women as he stated one word with firm finality. "_Mine._"

He didn't struggle as the blond grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the restaurant, but not before the younger boy turned back to them and roared they were never eating there again unless he got a formal apology from "the three hussies goin' after his man" and a promise from the owner of the restaurant that there would be no repeats of this occasion.

Seto had never been so proud of his puppy, but then he realized why the blond was so embarrassed and nervous as they ate; he'd been planning to do so earlier, but the table was in the way, and even _he _wasn't brazen enough to leap over it and snog him.

…He was, however, brazen enough to demand they go home and make love as soon as they got into the limo, because he was pissed off by those women and he wanted sex _now._

Seto figured they had different but somewhat similar coping skills. Whereas he was cool and aloof, the blond was hotheaded and confrontational. However, they _did_ both get very possessive. …And they nearly always wanted to reaffirm their claim on the other.

So occasionally, jealousy was okay. Because sex was never a bad thing.


	35. Baby Steps: K Plus

Baby Steps

Joey wanted to admit he liked him—really, _really_ liked him—but every time he tried, that stupid bastard would say something mean and he'd snap back and by the time their spat was over and the bastard stormed away he'd have forgotten what he wanted in the first place.

So it was all the bastard's fault.

…

He lied. There were a few times when Seto hadn't gotten in the first word, and he'd just snarled and been a… snarly puppy. He was the worst! He was horrible! Why couldn't he just spit it out?! It wasn't supposed to be that hard! Just simple words!

"I like you bastard!"

Four words! They were only _four words!_ Why did he have to be so afraid of rejection!? If he could just get this off his chest, he would be happy for the rest of his life!

Glaring at the brunet in front of him angrily, he felt resentment, but only because he was frustrated with himself. He knew his friends were looking at him funny, and the CEO was giving him his own version of the same look (and even managing to make it condescending, the bastard!). That just frustrated him more.

Seto raised an eyebrow. "…You wanted to say something to me, mutt. Spit it out."

Joey tried frantically to figure out what to say, so he wouldn't seem like such an idiot, then finally lost his temper with himself and blurted out, "I don't completely hate you!"

"…"

If it had been the Wild West, a tumbleweed would have rolled by in the silence that followed.

Seto stared at him for a few moments before slowly replying, "…Okaaay…"

Joey ran a hand through his hair and sighed, then turned and dejectedly began trudging away. "Never _mind…_"

The brunet raised an eyebrow again, then smirked and began after him. "You know, puppy, I don't completely hate you either."

"You're just makin' fun of me now, I get it! Bastard! See if I ever try t' confess t' _you_ ever again-!" The younger boy squeaked as he was suddenly spun around and yanked into a swift kiss. "Mm!"

Once he'd broken the kiss and he was sure the pup was coherent enough to listen to him again, Seto smirked. "So I'll pick you up at seven, then?"

"…Pick me up for what?" Joey asked innocently. He had a good idea, but he wanted to see Seto suffer.

The brunet sighed, then rolled his eyes. "For a _date,_ puppy. I'm taking you out on a date."

"Oh. …Well, okay, but I gotta be home by ten or else my dad locks me out," the younger boy replied, smiling innocently.

"I'm sure you could stay with me if that happened. In my room. …In my bed."

"…Nooo, I've got a nice box in the alley behind my apartments that's pretty comfy." Joey smiled at him. "Thanks for the offer, though. I'm sure you're cuddly warm."

Seto blinked at him in disbelief, then scowled and let out a snarl as he threw the blond over his shoulder, turning to stomp back past the blond's friends to his limo. "The hell you aren't!"

Joey smiled brightly at his friends and waved as they went past. "Bye guys! See you tomorrow!"

"…Bye, Joey!" Yugi called after him, the first to come out of his surprised stupor.

So it hadn't worked like Joey had always dreamed it would, but he had a date with Seto now! …And probably some other things, actually. Things that would involve Seto's bed in his room.

He'd always been taught baby steps were the way to go. Well, this was proof that whoever had taught him that was right.


	36. Sexting: T

Sexting

It wasn't that they were competitive. Well, actually, yes it was. Then again, with Bakura, Yami, Seto, and Marik in a room together, a competition was bound to happen. And with their lovers pointedly _ignoring_ them, arguments were bound to occur.

This was just the first time an argument hadn't been solved with a duel.

"…You want us to what?" Yami asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I want to see which one of our lovers is the prudest and which one is the horniest," Bakura replied, smirking.

The former pharaoh blinked before turning to the other two. Seto shrugged and continued playing on his blackberry. Marik looked delighted at the thought. "…Okay… And how do you propose we test this?"

"Our hikaris just got us cell phones, right?" the albino thief explained, pulling out his phone. "And they've been teaching us how to text so we don't call them in the middle of class. _I_ say we should send our beloveds identical messages and see how they react."

"The ones with the prudest and the horniest get ten bucks from the losers!" Marik added, grinning triumphantly; he was sure he'd win the 'horniest' category.

At this, all four heads turned, and they were again pointedly ignored by their respective lovers (because they were still a little pissed about an earlier argument). Then they turned back to each other.

"What will the text say?" Marik asked.

"'I want to make love to you right here, right now,'" Bakura declared, then began typing it in. "And we'll send them at the same time. Then, we shall watch the show."

Once the messages had been typed and they'd had the countdown to 'send,' they once again turned their attention to the four other boys in the room.

They blinked innocently as their respective ring tones were set off (their lovers were secretly amused by the tunes 'You Belong with Me,' 'Life Would Suck Without You,' 'Gyrate,' and 'Do You Think You Love Me' playing all at once), then each pulled out their phones, politely apologizing but somehow knowing their others were involved.

Both Ryou and Yugi blushed and hurriedly shoved their phones back in their pockets, mumbling something about how much Yami and Bakura would pay later. Malik raised an eyebrow, then smirked and merely pocketed his phone as well, sending his lover a wink before returning his attention to his friends.

Joey, however, probably had the most memorable reaction as he squeaked and dropped his phone, blushing darker than either of his friends combined. He scrambled to pick the phone up (everyone in the room winced at the numerous bangs before he finally got a good grip on it), then hurriedly typed a reply, scowling, and shoved the phone back in his pocket.

Then he sent Seto one of the deadliest glares he'd ever given before pointedly moving his chair so his back was to him.

Seto blinked as his blackberry buzzed, then opened the new text.

_Like hell, you pervert! Just wait until we get in the limo! I will ride the FUCK out of you and if you ever send me a text like that again while I'm talking to my friends, that is ALL the sex you'll ever get again! Got it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!_

The brunet tilted his head thoughtfully, then held his hand out. "Pay up."

As the yamis grumbled and reached into their pockets for them money, he decided he'd use the newly earned sixty dollars to do something for his puppy.

Joey scowled as he heard 'You Belong with Me' again, then jerked his phone out of his pocket, eyebrow twitching angrily. His expression softened when he read the new text, however, and he immediately began cooing over it with his friends (who then sent their yamis glares and grumbled about how _they_ never got romantic texts—barring this last one, which was rather insulting).

_I'm sorry, puppy. Dinner and a movie tonight to make up for it. …Forgive me? _**:**(

Seto smirked and pocketed his blackberry again. "And that is why _I_ get more than you three ever will."

"Take that back!" Bakura roared, before tackling the brunet from his seat.

The other four boys turned in confusion, then sighed and shook their heads when they found Yami grabbing Seto and Marik grabbing Bakura as the two men snarled and punched each other with all the indignant fury they had.

"Twenty bucks they're fighting over something stupid," Ryou mumbled.

Malik snorted. "Why make a bet if we agree with you? _I_ say it's about something so stupid that if they told us, we'd all get so pissed they wouldn't see us for a week."

"And _I_ say that _IF YOU DON'T STOP I'M GOING TO KICK __**ALL**__ OF YOU OUT OF MY SHOP!_" Yugi roared, glaring at them angrily. It wasn't often that he snapped, but then again, it wasn't often that people started a physical fight in his grandfather's little game shop.

Ryou, Malik, and Joey shrunk away from him as he began to pant from his outburst. Seto and Bakura immediately stopped fighting. Yami and Marik immediately let go of them. And all four of them suddenly decided to go out and get some ice-cream for them.

Joey suggested they take the long way back, even if it meant a little melted ice-cream. That might be enough time to calm his best friend down.


	37. Winning and Losing: K Plus

Winning and Losing

Joey wasn't normally a bitter person—with his friends, it was safer not to be—but he found himself growing angry and frustrated (and thus, bitter) every time Seto walked away from each of their arguments the smug winner. He wanted to win. He wanted to have the last word. But he couldn't think as fast for a verbal retort as Seto could and he knew it.

Seto had been undermining and insulting for half of his life, using his words and wit to insult and hurt. Joey had done the same thing—except with his fists, not his face. While Seto cowed his underlings with angry voice, he'd been cowing other gangsters with his fighting skills.

So he knew he could never win a verbal fight. But he knew that punching Seto in the face would never give him the same satisfaction. He wanted to leave the CEO just as speechless as he'd felt after some of their arguments, as stunned as he'd been.

He just hadn't known how, until the brunet offered him an idea.

Seto smirked. "Why don't you do something useful with your mouth, mutt? Like… shutting it?"

Joey opened his mouth to begin a retort, then paused thoughtfully. After a moment, he closed his mouth again and smirked, then leaned forward to give him a quick but firm kiss.

The brunet blinked, jaw dropping slightly as the younger boy's lips left his with a smack. …Why was he not disgusted? Why did he want the blond to repeat the action?!

The younger boy's bright smile faded into a sly smirk. "…I win." This only served to flabbergast the CEO further, if anything. Joey offered him a small, happy wave before rushing into the arcade.

Seto blinked in confusion. What had just happened? Had the blond really just kissed him? And then ran away?

…

Well, now he was prepared. If Joey ever tried to use that particular action to win again, he would use it against him, deepening the kiss and maybe adding in a small grope. Just so Joey wouldn't win the argument, of course.

Though he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to it.


	38. Tamagotchi: K Plus

Tamagotchi

Joey tilted his head innocently, blinking, when he found his boyfriend staring at him. This happened sometimes, but usually because the other boy wasn't aware of it, thinking about something going on at the company. However, this time, he was looking straight at him, and appeared completely aware of what he was doing.

"…Seto?"

The brunet blinked for a moment before lifting his gaze to meet the younger boy's eyes. "Hmm?"

Joey frowned in concern. "…What are you thinking about?"

"…Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you," Seto replied, sighing, before he reached out to brush the blond's hair out of his eyes.

Blushing, the younger boy scowled. "Oh? Am I really that bad of a—"

"I'm thinking the opposite, sweetie. You're so bright, and happy, and loveable, and I'm just… not." Seto frowned. "Do you remember how long it took me to learn how to cuddle you? To kiss you without the intention of having sex? …To even come out to the public?"

Joey smiled in confusion and tilted his head. "Well, Seto, I know ya weren't cuddled much as a kid, so ya obviously wouldn't know how. And ya don't really talk much, so ya show how much ya care through touch. And you were worried about the company's successfulness. Besides, if you'll remember, I didn't really wanna be in the limelight as Seto Kaiba's boyfriend either. …Some of your fan girls might 've killed me."

"Why do you make excuses for me?" the brunet sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "You've been doing that since a few months after we started dating. I know you're defensive about your choices, but you don't have to defend me to yourself."

The younger boy's smile faded in both concern and even more confusion. "…Seto? What are ya talkin' about?"

"I know I hurt you, and you have to defend your decision to date me to your friends, but do you really have to make it okay in front of me? Get angry, yell at me, something!" Seto exclaimed, then sighed in frustration and buried his face in his hands. No, he was not angry. He just didn't like his puppy lying to himself.

"…I have no idea what you're talkin' about," Joey stated bluntly, then looked back down at his handheld digital pet. "You think too much. And even if you don't deserve me, you're stuck with me now, so get used to it."

Seto looked back up at him and sighed, then shook his head. "Oh, God, puppy, you're impossible."

"And that's why you love me. Damn it! I said eat! This'll be the second time you've died this week!"

"…You're completely unconcerned with this, aren't you?"

"Of course I am. I said _eat,_ you bastard!"

The brunet couldn't help a wry smile. "…Puppy, forget everything I said. I deserve everything I get and more from you."

"Of course you do. No, no no no! No, eat-! _Fuck!_" Snarling angrily, the blond threw the hand-held game and crossed his arms, huffing as he sank into his seat with a pout. "See if I ever bring _you_ back to life!"

Seto chuckled and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss. "You're so sweet, puppy."

"You don't even care if my pet died—"

"_You_ don't even care if your lover is feeling insecure. You care more about your digital pet. I could design a better one," the brunet mumbled, before sliding a hand up the younger boy's thigh. "What's that stupid pet got… that I don't have…?"

Joey mewled and leaned into the CEO's kisses, wrapping his arms around his neck gently. "Mm… Tamagotchi… are awesome… and ancient…"

Seto pulled the blond into his lap and slid his hand around to cup his ass. "If it's ancient, let me design a new game for you…"

"But it's a collector's item!" the blond exclaimed, before letting out a yip as the older boy pressed him back onto the couch. "Nuu! S-Seto!"

"Well, keep it in a glass case where it belongs then. I'll make you a better pet that won't die."

"S-Seto! L-like my Tamagotchi! _Ooh!_"

There was a beep as the forgotten pet woke from its nap. Twenty minutes later, it beeped its death.


	39. Mop: K Plus

Mop

"…Excuse me, what?" Joey asked, eye twitching a little.

"I think you should cut your hair," Seto repeated, reaching up to gently play with the blond's bangs.

The blond hissed and jerked away from him. "No! Ya insulted my hair, ya jerk! What makes ya think ya get t' touch it?!"

The older boy scowled and reached for his hair again. "I don't think you should change your hair _style;_ I'm saying you should cut it. You could put it in a ponytail. …Like a girl."

"Maybe I should, just t' piss ya off!" Joey exclaimed, but didn't recoil when the brunet tangled his fingers into his thick hair. He squeaked quietly as he was yanked into a rough kiss. "Nyee-!"

Seto broke the kiss a moment later and trailed his lips down the younger boy's throat. "I'm only saying that because I've found that I don't… find long hair attractive." When the blond gasped, hurt, he quickly explained, "Sigfried sort of ruined long hair altogether for me."

Joey paused thoughtfully, then nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll go get it trimmed tomorrow."

"Good. Now, until then…" The brunet smirked. "…I've got you right where I want you, and this beautiful mop of yours is going to help me." He used his grip on the blond's hair to yank his head back and began to attack his throat again.

"Ah-! Seto—Nn—" The younger boy mewled weakly. "Dragon…!"


	40. Yuletide Poison: K Plus

Author's Note: This is a DRABBLE. There may be a "Christmas Special" that goes by the same name. This is COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL!!! *is totally _not_ lying*

…So I got the idea from writing this drabble DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!! D**:**

Yuletide Poison

Joey looked up at the mistletoe above him and blinked innocently, then looked back at his self-proclaimed rival. "…Well, that's awkward."

Seto glanced up at the sprig of Christmas greenery, then frowned. "Yes, I suppose it is. …It's a stupid tradition anyw—" Before he could finish, warm, slightly-chapped lips were pressed against his. As soon as they were there, they were gone, and Seto blinked as the blond in front of him smiled sweetly.

"I like following tradition. It's the only part of Christmas I really have left," he stated quietly, then walked past him.

Seto blinked again, then glanced over his shoulder to watch the blond walk away, a dejected slump to his shoulders adding to his sad, lonely demeanor that seemed to stand out among all of the happy friends and family cheerfully doing their Christmas shopping.

…Perhaps he should invite his puppy over for Christmas.


	41. Doomsday: K

Doomsday

Joey sighed and glanced out the window, no longer trying to pay attention to the words his teacher was saying.

It just couldn't be helped anymore. Even _Ryou_ had given up paying attention in favor of reading his novel for English. Seto was shameless texting from his Blackberry—on top of his desk, no less! Yugi had tried to pay attention, but at some point, his meticulous notes had trailed off into doodles, and he was now currently drawing a scene from the war their teacher was telling them about (yet still managing to make it almost painfully boring). At least he could say it had to do with the lesson.

Téa was reading the history book, and she seemed to be enjoying it far more than any of the other students did listening to their teacher's drawl. Apparently, the cut and dry facts were a lot more interesting when they were read than when spoken in a monotone by the teacher. Tristan had fallen asleep and was about to fall out of his chair. The teacher probably wouldn't even notice when he hit the floor.

Sighing again, Joey hid his eyes from view of the bright sun.

And then he got an idea.

Sitting up straight, he glanced around the room silently, then grinned.

"OH MY GOD! THE SUN IS ON FIRE!"

At that, the class jerked out of its stupor, and dozens of heads snapped toward the window. A few kids even got out of their seats to come and look.

While this was happening, Seto turned to raise an eyebrow at his boyfriend. "…You're just asking for a detention, aren't you?"

"Shut up. I saw you look out the window, too," the blond replied, grinning.

Once the class had settled down (after nearly erupting into a murderous mob out to kill him), the teacher cleared his throat. "Now that we've all remembered that the sun is _always_ on fire, let's get back to the Cold War." He paused. "…Mr. Wheeler."

Joey sighed and rested his chin on his hand. "Yeah?" He figured he'd get two, maybe three days of detention for that stunt.

There was another pause before the teacher slowly replied, "I'll give you ten points of extra credit if you do that during your PE class."

The blond blinked at him for a moment, stunned, then smiled brightly. "You are the _coolest_ teacher ever and I love you!"

"Not a word that I asked him to do it and you'll all receive five points of extra credit," the teacher informed the rest of the class. Then, he continued. "Now, on the subject of fire and destruction, who can tell me what the Doomsday Clock is?"


	42. Fallen Leaves: K

Fallen Leaves

"THERE IS NO JOY! THERE IS NO SATISFACTION! I DEMAND A HAIR DRYER!"

Mokuba and Seto both looked up from their respective laptops, then turned to blink at each other in confusion. That had been Joey. He hadn't complained about anything that loudly since Seto had finally caved and started buying a cheaper (but apparently more satisfying) ice-cream brand. And he never used a hair dryer (no matter how much Mokuba may plead so he wouldn't go out and catch a cold). Their questions would all be answered soon, however, as they heard the blond stomping toward the library.

Throwing the door open, Joey glared at them as if _they_ were the reason for his problems. …Whatever those problems may be. "Where do I find a hair dryer?!"

"…But, Joey, your hair _is_ dry," Mokuba answered hesitantly.

"I _know_ my hair is dry, Mokuba," the blond answered tartly. "I _need_ one for the _leaves._"

"…The leaves?" Seto repeated, brows furrowing together in further confusion. "…Why would you need to dry the leaves?"

Joey sighed loudly and crossed his arms, as if _he_ was the one being put upon. "So that I can get _some_ satisfaction out of stepping on them! Honestly! Haven't you guys ever crunched on leaves?!" When the brothers merely looked at him like he'd grown an extra head, he gasped in an appalled manner. "Oh my God! You've never crunched on leaves!"

The brunet blinked at him for a moment before slowly stating, "…I don't really understand why stepping on a leaf would bring any form of pleasure."

"…Never mind, it's obviously something so far below your intelligence that only a dog would understand," the younger boy snapped, then stormed back out of the room.

The slam from the door was much more disheartening than it had after any other argument. And they weren't even arguing!

"…What just happened?!" Seto exclaimed, still stunned. "Did he just get mad at me for note telling him where a hair dryer is?!"

Mokuba frowned. "…I think he got mad at you for not stepping on leaves…" He looked up at his brother and raised an eyebrow. "Should I get a pillow and blanket from your room and leave them on the couch for you?"

Seto's skull met the desk with a solid thunk.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"…Is that… a turkey pan full of dried leaves?" Mokuba asked after a moment, frozen to the spot.

Joey smiled brightly. "The cook said they'd be drier if I popped them in the oven!"

Seto raised an eyebrow, perplexed by the turn of events. "…So… you _don't_ want to go to dinner with us then…?"

"No, no, no! I do! Just—well—Okay, come here," the blond ordered, motioning for them to come down the steps. Once they had complied, he took two leaves from the pan and set them on the ground in front of them. "Okay! Step on them!"

The brothers glanced at each other skeptically before slowly placing their feet on top of the leaves, causing a soft, 'knch' sound.

Joey sighed. "You're doing it wrong."

"…I'm sorry. I didn't realize there was more than one way to step on a leaf," Seto deadpanned.

"That's okay. I'll show you!" the blond replied excitedly, and the other two boys sighed at his obliviousness. Setting another leaf on the ground, Joey paused, making sure they were walking, then roared and stepped on the leaf as hard as he could. The crunch was much louder, and there were many more pieces than had been left behind by Seto and Mokuba's leaves.

…That had been pretty satisfying, actually.

Mokuba grabbed another leaf and set it on the ground, then stomped on it, unable to help a delighted smile at the crunch he received.

Seto raised an eyebrow as his brother began to cackle, then turned to his lover and sighed. "…I prefer stepping on _naturally_ dry leaves, puppy. Now put down the pan and let's go eat."

The blond's face fell. "…You mean I did all of this for nothing?" he asked quietly, using his bangs to hide his eyes.

The older boy sighed in frustration and yanked the pan out of his hands, then set it on the ground. After only another few seconds, he jumped in it, took a moment to stomp around in it and smash all the leaves, then stepped out of it and began walking toward the limo as if nothing had happened. "I'm hungry. Let's go eat."

"…I wanted to step on some of those!" Joey exclaimed, glaring at him.

"I'll call and have Roland throw some more in the oven!" Seto called back, growing even more frustrated. "Now get in the car or you're going to sleep on the couch!"

At that, the blond gasped, horrified. Turning to the younger boy in slight confusion and fear, he whispered, "Can he even do that?"

"I don't know; it's usually _you_ kicking _him_ out," Mokuba whispered back, appearing just as surprised.

"You have ten seconds before I spank you and _then_ make you sleep on the couch!" Seto shouted, and was pleased when the blond began sprinting for the limo. "We'll go to the park after dinner and look for some more leaves for you to stomp on, okay?"

"'Kay," Joey agreed, bouncing in his seat a little as Mokuba climbed in after him and the car began to move. "'s long as ya don't step on any more of mine."

"…I think I've gotten the leaf-crunching out of my system," the brunet replied blandly, but the sarcasm was lost on the younger boy as he smiled brightly. His puppy was really much too sweet to be angry with sometimes.


	43. Obstructions: K Plus

Author's Note: There really is no pairing in this. I just thought of it and giggled and felt I must share it with you.

Obstructions

"Mr. Wheeler. Could you please tell me _why_ you are staring at Mr. Kaiba?"

Joey narrowed his eyes. This was study hall and he had nothing to do. He was bored, therefore staring into space was one of the few things allowed (no games, no comic books, no _fun_).

But now Kaiba was looking at him funny.

"Mr. Wheeler?"

"I am not starin' at _Kaiba,_" Joey stated curtly. "I am starin' at the _wall._ Kaiba's head just so happens t' be in the way of the patch of wall I wanna stare at." After a moment of the teacher (and his classmates) staring at him like he was crazy, he scowled and reached over, slamming the CEO's head down on the desk. "There, problem solved."

Seto sat back up angrily and glared at him. "What the hell was that for, mutt?"

The blond snarled. "You're blockin' my view! I _always_ stare at that part of the wall!"

"Don't touch me anymore, mutt!"

Joey roared and leapt out of his seat to tackle him. "_Obstruction!_"

"Ow! What the hell—"

"…What. The hell," the teacher stated, then scowled and grabbed the spray bottle he kept just for those occasions. Walking up to the two fighting teens, he sprayed them a few times. "No! Stop it!"

As the two boys scrambled away from each other, the rest of the class marveled.

"Now that you're both finished acting like male cats squabbling, you both have detention," the teacher stated, then turned and walked back toward the desk. "Kaiba, move your seat back six inches. Joey, move yours forward six inches. He will no longer obstruct your view and I will no longer have to deal with your insane quirks."

The two teens stared at their teacher for a moment before grumbling and going back to their seats to do as instructed.


	44. Internet Quiz: T

Author's Note: Yes, this is a real quiz. Yes, I did answer it for both of them. Yes, it is true. **:**D I laughed my ass off all the way.

Internet Quiz

Mokuba glanced at Joey for a few moments, then looked back down at his laptop. He could easily answer for him, but Seto would take some guesswork. Well, he'd just use the personality he used with the public and the personality he used with him and Joey separately.

Joey was simple; that's why they loved him.

He was pretty clueless, but he was street-smart in place of that. Sure, he didn't really understand when he was being hit on or approached romantically, but he knew when someone had incredibly _bad_ intentions, and knew how to deal with them, too. He was also a conservative person; he could let a few details slip about their relationship, but when it came to details about the bedroom, well…

Seto had shelled out money for his hospital bill and had given him an extra ten grand for the trouble.

Seto was difficult, but not too difficult. It was just separating his personalities—his public one and his personal one. …And trying to decide whether he was a sadist or not. He would scrub his brain with bleach for days for some of the questions he'd thought about with his brother in mind.

Joey crushed the bag of popcorn in his hands as he heard a happy, triumphant crow from across the room and instinctively scrambled behind the couch. "Wah!"

Seto blinked for a few moments, stunned, then frowned and turned to give his brother a stern look. "Mokuba, you know Joey isn't used to you randomly shouting."

The younger boy smiled bashfully. "Sorry…"

"Wait!" Joey's head popped up from behind the couch, and he looked appalled. "That was _him?!_"

"…Yes, that noise was him," the brunet replied, holding his arms out. "Come on, puppy."

As the blond climbed back into his lover's arms, the older boy looked over at his brother and raised an eyebrow. "What was that about, anyway?"

"_You_ and _Joey_ are meant for each other!" Mokuba squealed, pointing at the screen of his laptop. When he only received confused stares, he sighed. "…It's a website I found that tells you whether you're a seme or an uke, and what type of seme or uke you are. I filled out the quizzes for you guys and you're most compatible with each other."

"…What," Seto began, but was cut off by his lover.

"How do ya even know ya filled those out right, huh?!" Joey exclaimed, blushing brightly.

Mokuba narrowed his eyes; he suspected that the blond knew exactly what quiz he was talking about. "'You catch someone checking out your partner.' What do you do?"

The blond scowled. "I kick their ass!"

Seto paused before slowly answering, "I'd play nice, but then I'll probably find some way of ruining or slandering them."

"…Or torch their car."

"…Yes, I suppose, if it were a very expensive one."

Mokuba sighed, then glanced down for another question. "…Fine, this one. 'Do you usually find yourself on top or bottom?'"

Joey squeaked in embarrassment and turned bright red.

Seto narrowed his eyes. "…Are you mocking me, Mokuba?"

"…You're compatible," Mokuba deadpanned, then snapped his laptop closed and stood to leave the room.

"…M-Mokuba, which one was I?" the blond called after him.

The younger boy snorted and continued walking. "I think you know perfectly well which one you were."

Seto watched his brother leave, then frowned and looked back at his lover, who had suddenly found the ceiling very interesting. "…What's going on?"

"…Well, I may have stumbled across that quiz before, and I may have filled out both of our answers," Joey answered nervously, tapping his fingers together. "…And I may have found out that I'm an innocent uke and you're a romantic seme, which are the most compatible with each other."

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "…You… _may_ have done all that." He paused thoughtfully, then shrugged, scooping the blond up bridal style as he stood. "Well, even if you _were_ lying to me, I'm too turned on to care right now."

"Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Seto! SETO WAIT!!!"


	45. Christmas Candy: T

Christmas Candy

Seto blinked as he heard a crash and frowned. After a few moments, when no hurried 'I'm okay!' was called out, he turned to look at the door. "…Mokuba?"

"It wasn't me!"

Well, his voice had come from the opposite direction of the crash, so he couldn't be lying. That only left one person, though… "…Joey?"

"YeahwhatI'mfine!"

Seto sighed and rested his head in his hand. _'Do I want to see what happened? If he's talking that fast, he's guilty of something, but I don't want him to think I'm mad at him, especially this close to Christmas.'_

His mind was made up for him when he heard another crash. "_AH HA THAT WAS NOTHING DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME!!!!_"

Poking his head out of his study, Seto was relieved to find that his brother had grown concerned and was looking out of his room also. He shrugged anxiously as he heard another crash and hurried down the hall toward the living room.

What the two brothers found, however, was not what they expected.

Joey turned from his activity of jumping on the couch (much like a small child would), then smiled brightly and began jumping again. "Heyguys! DidjaknowChristmasisinaweek?! I'vegotallyourpresentsandI'vewrapped'emandIput'emunderthetreeandthey'rejustwaitin't'beopened! AndYug'hadsomeextracandycaneslyin'aroundsohegave'emt'meandImeltedhalfof''vebeenhidin''seeifthemaidscangetthemdown! WOO! I'msopumpedI''veevenmademyselfsickisn'tthatjust _GREAT?!_"

Seto's eye twitched. After finally deciphering what the blond had said, he scowled. "…How many candy canes did he give you?"

"Onlyfifteen! Look! Ievensavedoneforyou!" Joey exclaimed cheerfully, leaping from the couch and bouncing over to him. "It'stheredandgreenkind!" he added helpfully.

The brunet's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "…Have you had any other candy, Joey?" When the younger boy suddenly turned, his hands clasped behind his back anxiously as he bounced on his feet, he growled. "…_Joey?_"

"…Maybe." Joey blushed nervously and suddenly found the ceiling very interesting as the brunet crossed his arms and gave him The Look. "…?!"

"_Six_ boxes of chocolate?!" Seto exclaimed, eyebrow twitching, then sighed in frustration and turned toward his brother (who was currently staring at the blond in a sort of horrified awe). "Mokuba, go… finish whatever game you were in the middle of."

Mokuba nodded slowly and turned to go. "…Yeah…"

The brunet waited until his brother was out of earshot before spinning back toward his lover, only to find him trying to sneak toward a window. Scowling, he began stomping toward him. "Joey Wheeler!"

Joey squeaked and began fleeing with more urgency. "It'snotmyfault!"

"You _know_ you're not allowed to have that much sugar in one sitting! You're going to make your fucking heart stop at this rate! And what about the sugar coma afterward!? Your rush is going to end at some point!" He caught the blond around the waist before he could escape completely and held him tightly as he flailed to free himself. "The only way I can think of to avoid that is to work all of that sugar off before you crash."

The blond squeaked again. "Nonononono we just had sex this _morning!_" He squealed frantically as he was thrown over the older boy's shoulder. "Hey! _Hey!_ Seto! _Noooo!!!!_"

"Think of it as payment for the three lamps you broke then. Whatever you need to make yourself feel better."

Joey mewled helplessly as the brunet began rubbing his ass lecherously. "Nyooooo!"

* * *

Author's Notes: Just so you can tell what Joey was saying, here's each of his sugar-induced Super Sentences.

Hey guys! Didja know Christmas is in a week?! I've got all your presents and I've wrapped 'me and I put 'me under the tree and they're just waitin' t' be opened! And Yug' had some extra candy canes lyin' around so he gave 'me t' me and I melted half of 'me in hot cocoa and drank that then I ate the rest like a regular person and I've been hidin' mistletoe all over the mansion just t' see if the maids can get them down! WOO!

I'm so pumped I'm so happy I think I had too much candy I might've even made myself sick isn't that just _GREAT?!_

Only fifteen! Look! I even saved one for you! It's the red and green kind!

…Like maybe six boxes of chocolate okay?!

It's not my fault!


	46. What's This?: T

Author's Note: This makes little to no sense. It had a point, but then the point was drowned out by humor. Well, enjoy if you can. **:3**

What's This?

"…What the hell is this?"

Joey flinched, then let his head hang in shame. He'd thought it couldn't get any worse: he was dressed in a dog suit, being humiliated on national television, being verbally abused by a bunch of cheerleaders, having his ass saved by his best friend's other half, and on top of that, he was dealing with the after affects from a scuffle with his old man and a gang fight the night before. Now, however, the icing on his shit cake had finally arrived.

By the name of Seto Kaiba.

"…No, seriously, what the hell is this?" Seto repeated after a moment, motioning toward Duke's side of the room (where Joey was trying to make himself invisible and Duke's cheerleaders were blushing and squealing because _OhmyGod, __**Seto Kaiba**__ was there!_).

"Now is not the time, Kaiba!" Yami exclaimed in frustration. He was in the middle of a duel (a strange duel, but a duel nonetheless); he couldn't worry about anyone else humiliating his friend right now! He was a former pharaoh, not a miracle worker!

The brunet moved his eyes over to the original group of cheerleaders (also known "affectionately" as the Geek Squad, Nerd Herd, Pain in His Neck), but when he saw they were also opposed to the thought of explaining it to him, he narrowed his eyes and turned his gaze back on the blond that was pointedly _not_ looking at him. Mokuba had been right; his puppy really _did_ need his help. "Mutt!"

Joey flinched again. He couldn't handle this, couldn't handle being made fun of when he was so vulnerable; it felt like the world was against him, with all the mean things Duke was saying, and his stupid cheerleaders, and though he did appreciate Yami trying to help him, it still hurt his pride. He was tired of his friends bailing him out. And he was tired of Seto getting angry because he'd go to his friends for help instead of him.

"…Why is he dressed… in _that?_" Seto asked after a moment, turning his attention toward the long-haired freak currently glaring at him (Duck, or Spuke, or something like that; he couldn't remember him exactly, but he did remember some stupid dice game that was totally and obviously a rip off of Duel Monsters).

"He's _my_ dog for a week, Kaiba. No one wants you here," the other boy spat, glare growing a bit more heated. He pointedly ignored his cheerleaders' horrified gasps. "Why don't you leave?"

The brunet's eyes narrowed dangerously at that. "…He is not your dog to _take,_ Luke."

It took a moment, but then the younger boy's already angry expression grew a little more furious. "…It's _Duke._"

"Whatever," Seto replied, waving it away carelessly. "He's still not your dog to take. He's not even Yugi's dog. He is mine."

Joey ducked his head further. This wasn't how he wanted his friends to find out. He hadn't wanted them to find out period!

Turning toward the dog suit-clad teen, the brunet motioned for him to come. "Mutt, we're leaving."

Standing slowly, Joey bit his bottom lip and moved toward him. This was it. His friends were going to see just how much of a moron he was. They were going to worry that the older boy was using and abusing him. They were going to assume that he'd gotten in over his head again and would have to save him!

Seto frowned as the blond came to a stop in front of him, head still bowed in shame, and his shoulders trembled a little. Tilting his head up a little, he was horrified to find tears in the corner of his pup's eyes. "…Puppy…"

"I didn't need ya t' come help me. I can take care of myself. I lost a bet and now I need t' honor it," Joey whispered, forcing down the lump he felt forming in his throat. "This isn't how I wanted my friends t' find out, Seto."

The brunet frowned again, then leaned in to rest his forehead against the younger boy's, unable to help feeling a little hurt. "…You told me they already knew."

"…I'm sorry…" Seeing that this had done nothing to make the older boy feel better, the blond looked away from sadly. "…T'day just keeps gettin' worse and worse…"

"You never think about the consequences of your actions," Seto sighed, pushing the issue to the back of his mind; he'd talk to him later about his fibs and secrecy. "I don't like people saying that you're their puppy. You're _my_ puppy."

"…" Joey tapped his 'paws' together nervously, then hurriedly leaned upward to press a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks for comin' down t' check on me, though. It's nice t' see ya care sometimes."

Seto blinked at him for a moment, then scowled and ducked slightly, wrapping an arm around the blond's waist. "C'mere."

"Nyeek! What are ya doin'!? Stop!" the blond exclaimed quickly, flailing slightly. "Put me down!"

Turning to leave, the older boy sighed loudly in annoyance when he heard Yugi—or his yami, whatever—shout at him. "For the love of God."

"Kaiba! Where do you think you're taking him!?"

Spinning back to the blond's little posse, Seto scowled. "Obviously, I'm kidnapping him. If you ever want to see him alive again, you'll have to bring me a unicorn-riding pirate."

"…Those don't exist!" Téa exclaimed, once she'd gotten over being stunned.

"Then I'm afraid you'll never see him again. …Ever," the brunet replied flippantly, adjusting his grip on the still-struggling pup. "Duck, you're lucky I don't ruin your life right now."

Joey scowled and turned to glare at him. "_Seto!_"

"I never said I was going to!" Seto exclaimed defensively.

"…It's Duke," Duke mumbled, glaring at his retreating back.

Yami blinked for a moment before turning back to him. "…So… is it my turn or yours?"

"Am I the only one who noticed that our friend just got kidnapped by someone who once tried to kill us?!" Tristan shouted, flailing his arms about. "Who, might I add, has never been nice to him anyway!?"

"…Boys and their games," Téa sighed, scowling, then grabbed his wrist and turned to stomp toward the door. "We're rescuing Joey!"

Duke snorted. "Good! So you can bring him back here to by my slave for the rest of the week!"

"Are you still on about that!? He's not yours, Duke!" Yami shouted, throwing his handful of dice. "This game is still going!"

Their female friend turned to shoot them one last glare. "…_Boys_ and their _games._"

"Joey needs our help!" Tristan reminded her, so she huffed and continued toward the elevator.

Once they reached the ground floor and ran outside, however, they had second thoughts about helping him. The limo driver was leaning against a fire hydrant a few yards away, reading a magazine. The limo, obviously occupied, was rocking slightly, and every once in a while they could hear a high-pitched shriek.

The driver didn't even look up as they approached the car. "The blond gets violent if they're interrupted. I'm just sayin'."

Tristan blinked in confusion. "…Wait, _Joey_ gets violent?"

"Madder than a hornet," the driver confirmed. "Not that Mr. Kaiba is a cup of tea either, but I'd rather be yelled at than punched."

Téa stared at him for a moment before letting out a frustrated snarl and turning to stomp away. "I need some _girl_ friends! You guys call me when you're ready to stop being idiots with your heads stuck up your asses! _I'll_ be at home, reading a magazine or something to reaffirm my femininity!"

Tristan blinked again, stunned, then turned his gaze imploringly up toward the sky. "What the HELL is going on?!"


	47. Fists of Friendship: T

Author's Notes: So, to put this in perspective, there is no puppyshipping (*cough*yet*cough*), but there _is_ puzzleshipping, and Yugi has just come out. Not everyone is tolerant.

Fists of Friendship

"Figures that the King of Games would be a _fag._"

It had not been quiet. It had not been whispered. It had been meant to hurt.

And it had.

Joey frowned as his best friend flinched, and since Yami wasn't there to hug him, he did it for him, turning a glare on the boy that had said it. "Hey-!" It appeared he needn't have bothered; the guy was on the ground, holding a bloody (and most likely broken) nose. Lifting his gaze in confusion, he was surprised to find Kaiba—_Kaiba_ of all people—shaking out his hand. "…Kaiba?"

"…Just because he likes men doesn't make him any less of a duelist," the brunet replied shortly. He frowned when his smaller rival flashed him a blinding smile, then hurriedly turned to walk away.

But then a girl mumbled something about gays going to hell (which didn't really matter, because Yugi believed in the Afterlife like Yami, but it still hurt his feelings). However, both Joey and Kaiba were loathe to hit a girl. …No matter how much they wanted to.

"If gays are going to hell then so are you," Téa stated, glaring at her, as she placed her hands on her hips. "What happened to 'love thy neighbor?'"

"That doesn't extend to homosexuals since they're going against the Bible anyway!"

"What happened to forgiveness?"

"Why forgive someone who's already going to hell?"

Téa growled quietly, then drew her fist back and let loose a punch that made Joey and Tristan could honestly say they admired.

As the girl lay on the ground crying and screaming for a teacher, she turned and glared at the other students that had stopped to stare. "Does anyone _else_ have something they want to say to Yugi?"

"…Hello?" Ryou asked after a moment, as he'd missed the prior events but was completely aware of Téa's killing intent.

"…Let's go to lunch…" Joey suggested, ushering the two smaller boys toward the cafeteria.

"…Well this is going to consume a lot time and money," Kaiba muttered, crossing his arms.

Téa spun toward him angrily. "Do you regret it?!"

He sighed as he saw a couple of teachers striding down the hallway toward them quickly and rested his head in his hand. "No, but I definitely don't need the bad press."

"Oh, yeah, 'Kaiba Seto Stands up for Homosexual Rights' is _such_ bad press," she muttered, before they were both marched down to the office. "This will probably be a suspension. My first one in my entire _life._"

"Oh, boohoo, Ms. Friendship Speech."

"Don't make me punch you too, Kaiba; I like to think we're on the same side right now."

"…Whatever."


	48. Icy: K Plus

Icy

Bakura shifted slightly as he heard his hikari step into the bedroom, but didn't move to get up. Ryou had said he wanted to stay up and study a little longer, and he hadn't been interested in any TV or anything. He'd gone to bed early, which didn't happen often, but when it did, he liked to doze until he knew his lover was safely beside him.

He smiled a little as he felt the smaller boy slip under the covers and snuggled up to him. Slipping an arm around the other boy's waist, Bakura released a content sigh.

Ten seconds later, he let out a high-pitched scream and jerked away. "Oh my Ra! …Why are your feet so _cold?!_"

"It gets chilly in the living room at night!" Ryou exclaimed helplessly, frowning. His bottom lip began to jut out in a pout. "Please, Bakura? You're so warm…"

Bakura glared at him a moment longer before sighing and cuddling up with him again. "…Fine."

The younger boy smiled at him brightly before snuggling up against him further, sighing happily as he felt his feet being warmed by the other boy's body heat. "Thank you, 'Kura."

The former tomb robber grumbled half-heartedly. The things he did for his hikari.


	49. Real: T

Author's Note: Set in Ancient Egypt. By the by: I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS PLOT BUNNY POPPED OUT OF.

Real

Seth traced one of the blades of his Millennium Rod with his finger as he eyed the blond splayed out on his bed, covered only by a thin, nearly sheer sheet. He'd just recently acquired the Grecian blond, but he found he was already quite attached; perhaps it was because most people tried to ingratiate themselves to him, and the blond had no intention of doing so. …In fact, he went out of his way to piss him off as much as possible. But he liked that, because that meant he got to punish him.

Well, Atem had always told him he was a total sadist.

He wondered if what he wanted to do was going too far too fast, and if Jeno would forgive him if he was wrong. He figured probably not, considering the Greek had tried multiple times to escape. He said he wanted to go home; he didn't understand that here, in the palace, sharing his bed, was his home now.

After a few more moments of thought on that specific topic, he sighed and stood to leave the room; he'd let the pup get a few more hours of sleep.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Jeno yawned quietly and rubbed his eyes, then slowly blinked his eyes open, frowning. He was still in The Monster's bed, still nude, still covered in bite-bruises and still wearing the damn collar he'd been forced into. He still didn't understand why the stupid priest thought of him as a dog.

Sitting up slowly, he let out a soft moan of pain from his lower back; his stupid _master_ had the libido of a… well, he hadn't any idea of anything that liked sex as much as he did. Or as often. "Monster…"

"…I suppose your view of me shall never change, then."

Jeno gasped and turned his head quickly to find the priest staring at him intensely from his seat on the other side of the bed. "I-I-!" He squeaked in the back of his throat as the priest lifted his Millennium Rod above his head and closed his eyes tightly. "Nn!" He couldn't help a flinch as he felt a rush of air at the back of his neck, then frowned. He wasn't dead; he hadn't felt any pain.

Blinking open his eyes slowly in confusion as he felt something drop into his lap, he tilted his head as he found his collar—cut from the sharp-bladed item—lying indiscriminately on top of the thin sheet.

Seth stood up and began toward the door. "Get dressed. There's a caravan going back to Greece later this morning that I've arranged for you to leave with. However, they will not wait for you."

Jeno watched him go in confusion. Had that really happened? …Was this really happening to him now?

.-.-.-.-.-.

This couldn't possibly be real.

Jeno peered up at the priest skeptically, eyes narrowed. This was wrong. The bastard wouldn't just _let him go._ But he had the broken collar to prove that thought wrong, and he was actually being led to the caravan. …Perhaps this was some cruel punishment for some slight he hadn't even realized he'd made toward the priest. He wouldn't put it past him.

But then he was being shown in what wagon he'd sleep and what his job would be on the trip and what was expected of him and many other things, as if he was really going, and he felt hurt that the priest would do this to him; he hadn't imagined him as being _that_ cruel.

Turning to snarl at him, he felt his words catch in his throat when he saw the wistful expression on the brunet's face. Then, the priest turned his horse and spurred it into a gallop—away from him.

This couldn't possibly be real.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Jeno frowned as he watched the brunet moan in pain and toss onto his back, then roll onto his other side, breath coming in with ragged pants. "What's wrong with him?"

Isis clasped her hands in front of her and frowned as well. "He's been having nightmares since you left, and when he works himself into a fever, he calls for you. He never explained to us why he released you all those months ago, but we can assume by this that even if he let you go physically, he has a way to go spiritually."

The blond winced slightly. He remembered the melancholy on the other man's face before he'd turned and ridden away.

The priestess turned toward him seriously. "We thought sending for you may help him. If he keeps working even with his fatigue, he will kill himself. No one wants that—not even you could possibly hate him that much."

Jeno flinched again. He'd never… _hated_ Seth. He just hadn't appreciated being his slave, was all.

Taking a deep breath, the blond gulped and began toward the trembling figure on the bed. After a small, frightened pause, he placed his hand on the priest's shoulder and whispered, "Seth?"

Seth sat up with a gasp, chest heaving as he flinched away from the gentle touch and made himself fall off the bed. He stayed on the ground for a moment, still trembling, before he forced himself to calm down and sit up again. When his eyes landed on the stunned blond, however, he frowned in confusion. "Jeno? …What are you doing here?"

Jeno bit his bottom lip and glanced back at Isis, then turned his gaze back on the brunet. "…The pharaoh and your fellow priests sent for me," he answered quietly, and couldn't help a flinch as the older man's eyes darkened with pain.

"…I see. Then you should go see them and stop dawdling around here—"

"They wanted me to come see you."

"…I see." Seth sat down on the edge of his bed and heaved a sigh. "…You've seen me. Now leave."

Jeno frowned. "…But… You're so ill, and…"

"And that's none of your concern now," the brunet cut in sharply. "You should be glad, in any case. I'm just a monster, remember?"

The smaller boy winced a little, then looked down at his feet in shame. After a moment, he looked back at Isis and quietly asked, "Would you leave us for a moment?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes, but if you need me, I'll be just outside."

Jeno waited for her to leave before turning back to the brunet, blushing a little when he found him staring at him in confusion. "…Seth, I… I'd never wish for you to become ill."

Seth's confused expression turned into a glare. "You hate me, Jeno, and you always have. Why would you care about what happens to me?"

"I don't _hate_ you, you idiot! I hate slavery!" the blond exclaimed angrily. "I hated you always touching me and making my body do things I didn't want it to do-! I hated you making me enjoy your touch, making me think I was worth something to you when I obviously didn't—"

"You mean the _world_ to me!" the older man snapped, standing up. "Why do you think I let you go?! If I didn't care, I would have kept you and used you all I liked! But I couldn't keep you while knowing that you didn't want to be here! So I sent you home! Why did you come back? Must you really mock me?!"

"If I meant so much to you, why didn't you say anything?!" Jeno glared at him. "I would have stayed if you asked-!"

"You _wanted_ to go _home!_" Seth snarled, glaring back. "And it obviously wasn't with me!"

"But I could _learn—_"

The brunet sighed in frustration. "Damn it, Jeno, I just wanted you to be happy!"

The blond flinched a little at that and looked away quickly. "…I'd be happier here with you."

Seth turned toward him with a growl. "Jeno…"

"…My father died, while I was here," Jeno explained quietly, tears forming in his eyes. "And my mother and sister left our home to go somewhere far away. I can't find them. So… so may I make a home here with you?"

The brunet felt all of his ire fade at the crushed expression on the other boy's face. Sighing, he pulled the blond into his arms. "…I suppose we'll figure out some sort of compromise."

"…I missed you," the Greek whispered after a moment, lifting his arms to hug him back. "I missed you, Seth."

Seth sighed and leaned his face into his thick hair. "I missed you too. At first, I didn't believe you were real."

"…I'm here." Jeno smiled a little when the brunet gave him a small squeeze, as if to make sure. "I'm here. I'm real."


	50. Get it: T

Get It!!!

"AAAAAHHHHHHH GET IT GET IT GET IT GET IT!"

Seto only had enough time to grunt before a yellow blur leapt onto his chair and they both tumbled to the ground. "…Ow."

"Seto! It's huge and it's scary and we need to get rid of it!" Joey exclaimed, grabbing his shirt and shaking him a little.

The brunet frowned. "I'm flashing back to the first time we had sex."

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR PENIS!" the younger boy shrieked, then gave him the biggest, wettest eyes he could. "Seto, please!"

Seto sighed and sat up slowly. "Alright, alright, show me." He scowled as the blond immediately scampered away, then rolled his eyes and stood to follow him. "Where is it?"

Joey pointed frantically into the living room. "Getitgetitgetit!"

The brunet sighed and began into the living room, then frowned in confusion when he saw all of the blond's friends sitting around on the furniture or the floor. "…What the hell? Why couldn't you get it?"

"…We just wanted to see if you would actually come and get it," Bakura replied.

"…Fuck you," Seto answered, glaring at him, before he was reminded of what he was supposed to be taking care of as the blond began pointing frantically at the wall. Grabbing a shoe from the entryway, he walked over to the corner the blond had indicated and immediately slapped the black spot on the cream-colored wall. "The spider is dead, Joey."

All aggravation he felt was quickly dissipated as the blond glomped him and began sucking his tongue into his mouth as a nonverbal 'thank you my sweet luvermuffin of a dragon.' He ignored the 'luvermuffin' part, even though he was sure that the blond was thinking it.


	51. Realization and Exhaustion: T

Realization and Exhaustion

"…No, seriously. He _may_ be a genius, but he's the stupidest genius I've ever had the misfortune to meet," Lira stated, placing her hands on her hips.

Joey raised an eyebrow. "As much as I appreciate ya keepin' me company until we get outta detention, but if you're just gonna rant about Kaiba, I've heard it all before. …I've said it all before, too."

"No—but—GAH!" She threw her hands up in frustration. "Come with me!"

"But—but the teach'—"

"She'll forgive fifteen minutes if I leave her this note now grab your stuff and come on!" she ordered, grabbing his wrist after hurriedly throwing the note on the teacher's desk.

Joey groaned in the back of his throat as she dragged him out of the classroom but didn't resist; she was sort of mean when she didn't get her way. "Why? What are we doin'?"

"Every Thursday Kaiba stays after to make up all the homework he missed because he was at work and turns it in. If I'm timing this correctly, he'll be coming out of that classroom right… now."

And there was Kaiba, sweeping coat, metal briefcase and all.

Joey frowned in confusion. "…Okay, now what?"

Lira smirked. "Watch this."

The blond blinked, perplexed as she snuck up behind the older boy, only to squeak as she grabbed the brunet's ass—and then she ran back to stand next to him. "!!!!"

Kaiba paused, then turned to glare over his shoulder. He frowned slightly in confusion when he saw the blond standing there with his friend, then scowled and turned to face them. "Wheeler, did you just grab my ass?"

Another outraged and embarrassed squeak escaped Joey's throat, and he tried to shout that no, he hadn't, but gave up after a few wordless tries. After a moment, he let his shoulders sag in defeat and deadpanned, "Yeah, that was _totally_ me." Instead of getting pissed off, like the blond had expected, he was surprised when the older boy smirked. "…What's that look for?"

"I always figured you were attracted to me—I just never thought you'd get the guts to do anything about it."

Joey squeaked again. "What'd ya just say?!"

Any further outraged shouts were cut off as the brunet leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Let's go out to dinner tomorrow."

"…Wha-?"

"I'll pick you up at six."

"…Eh?"

"Wear something… decent."

"…Ah?"

Seto turned to walk away and couldn't help a frustrated growl as he heard the girl clear her throat. Loudly. Turning, he shoved a bill into her outstretched hand. "You said _nothing_ about grabbing my ass."

"I didn't grab your ass," she replied flippantly. "It was _Joey._"

Joey frowned in further confusion. "What?"

Lira blinked at him, then smiled brightly and waved hurriedly, shoving the hundred dollar bill into her pocket. "Nothing, nothing! Listen, I have a club meeting to get to, so I'll talk to ya later! Byeee!"

Joey watched her sprint off, then looked up at Seto. "…What was that?"

"…I'll explain it when you're older, puppy," the brunet replied, patting him on the head before he turned to walk away. "Your friends are waiting outside for you. …Remember—wear something _decent._"

"…!!!!!!"

He needed to talk to his friends about this. Because he was so confused he might just faint.


	52. Birthday Kiss: T

Author's Note: I TRIED, I SWEAR! I tried to make a complete and separate story for Joey's birthday, but I failed. D**:** I AM A FAILURE! So I'm sorry, but you'll have to make do with a drabble instead. **:/**

Birthday Kiss

Seto felt his awareness coming back slowly. He felt a dull thud of pain in his skull, and then a vague pain throughout the rest of his body. After a few moments, he became aware of quiet, steady beeping noise, and then of the soft buzz of voices outside—though outside of what, he wasn't sure. Then, he became aware of a warm feeling coming from one of his hands.

Letting his eyes flutter open slowly, he grunted quietly in agitation as he was momentarily blinded by the white walls. But then he felt something in his hand, and he looked down to find he was holding someone else's—someone else's hand that was smaller than his, and paler.

He let his eyes travel slowly down to the wrist, then the arm, up to the shoulder, and finally come to rest on a tuft of golden yellow. Then he remembered.

The scream, the screech, the smell of burnt rubber, the painful crunch. The feeling of liquid running down his face, the burning feeling beginning to numb, the sound of feet shuffling—and then the feeling of being turned onto his back. The cry of someone for him to come back, not to leave someone.

Joey.

Seto moaned quietly as his head gave a painful throb and lifted his free hand to his head, frowning as he felt bandage beneath his fingers. However, that moan was all that was needed to wake up his puppy.

Joey jerked upward violently, eyes wildly looking around before landing on his own. "Seto-!"

Seto moaned again as the blond yanked him into a hug; his body protested vehemently. "Joey—"

"Oh, oh, I'm sorry," the younger boy answered quickly, laying him back on the thin mattress. "I-I'll go get a doctor—"

"What time is it?" the brunet asked, before the other teen could get even more flustered.

Joey paused to look at his watch. "…Two-fifteen."

"Oh. …What day is it?"

"…January… twenty-fifth. You've been asleep for three days."

Seto stared at the other boy for a few moments before sighing sadly. "I guess this wasn't the best way to spend your birthday. I'm sorry."

Joey stared at him in disbelief for a few moments, then smiled, tears forming in his eyes. "Oh, Seto, this was probably the best birthday ever. Ya have no idea how happy I was t' see that you're awake."

The brunet frowned at him. "I'm sure that's not what you wanted before I got hurt."

"Seto, ya don't hafta do anything special for me." The younger boy sniffed and wiped away a tear as it slid down his cheek. "All I wanted was t' be able t' kiss ya."

Seto stared at him thoughtfully, then lifted his free hand to grasp the blond's hair lightly, pulling him down into the most tender kiss he'd probably ever given him. Once the blond broke the kiss, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks freely, he smiled. "Happy birthday, Joey."

Joey smiled through his tears. "Thank you, Seto." After a moment, he hurriedly wiped his tears away and stood. "I'll go find Mokuba—he went to go get a snack—and grab a doctor. Stay here!"

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "Where would I go?"

"Shut up! I'll be right back!"

Seto watched him run out of the room and sighed, then smiled a little. "Happy birthday, puppy."


	53. Exhaustion: K

Exhaustion

Joey winced as the door slammed shut and turned toward it quickly, making a shushing motion. "God, do ya want Seto t' wake up and get angry at me?!" He knew it was outrageous, yelling at an inanimate object, but it was nearly three in the morning! Seto would be pissed if he knew Joey had been gone to a club with his friends until it closed at two!

…The lights were still on downstairs.

Joey looked around in confusion, brows furrowing together. Seto always turned the lights off when he came home—except for a trail of nightlights leading to the bedroom. He gasped quietly as he saw Seto lying across the stairs and rushed over to him, thinking the worst; he had always told Seto he was going to trip and fall and break his neck one of these days-!

The brunet was hugging his briefcase under his head like a pillow, and he was breathing slowly and softly. He didn't look like he was in pain at all. And he hadn't woken when the younger boy had finally turned him onto his back.

'…_He fell asleep on the stairs,'_ Joey realized, lifting his gaze to the top of the staircase. There had been nights like this that he'd felt too tired to go up the stairs, but Seto had always carried him to bed and tucked him in. …Seto didn't have that.

Joey was usually in bed before Seto got home, or came home with him. Seto didn't have someone to carry him to bed, or even help him sometimes.

He felt his stomach clench guiltily. He was strong, but he didn't think he could lug Seto's deadweight all the way upstairs. He didn't want to chance accidentally dropping him.

He was at a loss.

Joey looked around, nibbling his bottom lip anxiously, before scurrying to the living room, making sure to stay as quiet as possible. Coming back with a blanket, he spread it over the floor at the foot of the stairs, then wrapped his arms gently around the brunet's waist and tried to drag him back down the stairs as gently as possible. He placed the older boy gently on the blanket, then ran up the stairs to gather the other necessary items. Once he made it back to the base of the stairs, he turned off all of the lights; the sun would be rising soon anyway.

Once he'd tucked a pillow under Seto's head and had curled up against him, Joey carefully folded the quilt from their bed around them. Then, he laid his head on the older boy's chest and sighed, nuzzling it lightly before he found a comfortable position and drifted off to sleep as well. Seto hadn't stirred once.


	54. Reassurances: T

Reassurances

"Seto, do you like my butt?"

Seto blinked as the book fell from his suddenly lax fingers. Turning, he found his puppy standing in front of the mirror with his side toward it so he could examine the profile of his behind. His hands were placed on his hips as he took in his figure with a critical eye.

What. The Hell.

"Well, are ya gonna answer me?" Joey asked, brows drawing together as his lips began to jut out into a frustrated pout.

Seto stared at him for a moment longer before cautiously asking, "Why do you ask?"

At that, the blond blushed and looked away from him bashfully. "…Well…" His blush darkened a little. "…It's just… I notice sometimes, when I glance at your old nudie magazines… They're all curvier than me. …It makes me wonder if maybe you sometimes wish I wasn't as scrawny."

"…Puppy." Seto sighed and scowled at him. "Do you remember how I touched you last night? My hands were all over you. There was not one spot on your body I didn't touch or grab. Does that make you feel like I wish you weren't scrawny?" He frowned. "…What makes you believe I think you're scrawny?"

Joey lifted his hand to bashfully twist his hair around his finger. "I… Maybe I've filled out a little since ya let me move in, but I'm still pretty skinny. …I'm not really comfortable t' snuggle with, either. I know ya think I'm bony."

"I don't _think_ you're bony," the brunet replied, standing and making his way over to him. "I _know _you're bony. However, that doesn't stop me from snuggling with you; as bony as you may be to hold, you're like my own personal furnace. I'm never cold with you around." Sliding his arms around the blond's waist, he dipped his head for a short kiss.

The blond mewled quietly as he was pulled up against the older boy's body and curled his arms around his neck. "Mmm…" He gasped as the brunet's hands slid back to cup his ass, giving each of his cheeks a firm squeeze. "Nyu!"

Seto growled quietly before breaking the kiss, leaning his forehead against the blond's as he tried to catch his breath again. "I hope that helped you realize that yes—I do like your butt. …In fact, I love it. Very, very much," he murmured huskily, giving the flesh beneath his hands another squeeze.

Joey moaned and let his head roll back weakly. "Ah…" He gasped quietly as the brunet used the grip on his ass to lift him upward and hooked his legs over his hips. "Ooh, ya pervert…"

"I'm just trying to reassure you that I like your body the way it is," the brunet cooed innocently, trailing his lips over the smaller teen's jaw before he began back to the bed. "Let me reassure you further, puppy."

"Nyu…" The blond blushed as his pants were tugged down swiftly and mewed as the brunet spread his legs. "I-I guess that's okay, as long as ya don't do anything embarrassing— Oh!" He gasped as the older boy began kneading his thighs and began to tremble. "S'to!"

"You have more meat on your bones than you give yourself credit for," Seto whispered, smirking in a decidedly smug manner. "But maybe I should reassure you a little more…"

"N-no, I get it now-! Seto—_Oh!_ D-don't touch me like that! No—_Aiyeeeee!_"


	55. Supply and Demand: T

Supply and Demand

"—and sales have dropped slightly since the game came out three months ago. Now—"

Every head in the room turned as the door suddenly slammed open, shocked and appalled that someone would dare interrupt and important meeting like that. The blond in the doorway blinked at them in surprise, then turned his angry gaze on the CEO that had suddenly sighed and rested his head in his hand in a manner of someone being put upon.

Joey's brows furrowed as he took a step forward and pointed at him. "You! I'm makin' dinner t'night, so ya sure as hell better be home!"

"Yes, well, I'm not exactly sure how long this meeting will take," Seto began, but was disgruntled when the blond cut him off.

"Ya mean that thing ya were explainin' t' me about supply and demand and all that shit? Yeah, sales have dropped since the game came out. That's because nobody's demandin' it. Ya wanna know why no one's demandin' it? BECAUSE THEY OWN IT ALREADY!" he roared, stomping his foot. "Now promise you'll be home for dinner!"

Seto heaved a tired sight and pinched the bridge of his nose; sometimes his lover was much too demanding. "Puppy…"

Joey didn't like that tone. Narrowing his eyes, he stomped over to his lover and grabbed his tie, yanking upward on it in a threatening manner. "Let me explain it in a way you'll understand then. I demand sex after dinner. You will supply it. If you're not home in time for dinner, there will be no sex, and no demand for you in our bed. So the surplus 'you' will have to take up residence on the couch. Ya pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?"

"…I have never found anything more clear than what you've just said," Seto replied hurriedly. "Puppy, you're suffocating me."

The blond released his tie abruptly and smiled, clasping his hands together in a manner much too innocent for his recently violent actions. "Good! We're havin' beef fillets! I know it's your favorite, and I figured that since we haven't had a real dinner together in a while that it'd be nice! Mokie's goin' t' a friend's house t' work on a project for school and he's stayin' the night, so we have the house all t' ourselves!" He paused, then smirked and tapped the brunet on the nose. "Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. If ya get home early enough, ya may even see me in that maid's costume ya got for me."

Seto blinked, jaw dropping a little. When had his innocent little puppy become such a flaming exhibitionist?!

Joey blinked at the silence he received, then turned to find the rest of the people in the room staring at him in shock (and, from a few, horror). Scowling, he placed his hands on his hips. "Well that's rude! Ya could at least _pretend_ you're not listenin'!" When they all continued to stare, he growled in frustration. "It's not my fault! He hasn't been home in time for dinner in days! I HAVE NEEDS AND HE'S NOT MEETIN' 'EM!"

At this, many of the women began to nod in sympathy. The men continued to look appalled.

Joey sighed in defeat. "Oh, never mind; ya obviously don't care." Turning back to the brunet (who had yet to say anything), he smiled sweetly and slid his finger over the older boy's jaw before leaning down to press a short, chaste kiss to his lips. This was followed by a much less chaste whisper of, "I'll be waiting."

DID HE NOT REALIZE HOW HORNY THAT MADE HIM!?

Seto scowled as the blond sauntered out of the room. He knew exactly how horny it made him. He'd come home in time for dinner, just to give him the… punishment he deserved. He turned back to the rest of room and cleared his throat, fixing his tie from the blond's abuse. "You were saying?"

"…I'm sorry, I just can't look you in the eye for a while," the man stated honestly, then packed up his power point and computer and left the room.

The brunet stared after him for a moment before clapping his hands together. "Well, I think this has been a successful meeting. Let's schedule another one for next month. …My secretary will call you." So saying, he stood and left the room.

He still had a few reports to sign off on before he could go home. That should be plenty of time to get home, see his puppy in his maid outfit, and eat dinner.

He really needed to teach his puppy more about business. He was surprisingly sexy when he was yelling about it.


	56. Kiss Kiss: T

Kiss Kiss

"…What is this?" Joey asked after a moment, poking at the large, pink box sitting on the counter next to the cash register.

"You're late! I thought you'd never get here!" Yugi exclaimed, throwing his arms around his waist. "Do you know how many people have come in to buy cards or toys and have giggled at me?! They think it's for me!"

"…So it's for me?" the blond asked, poking it again. "…Who is it from?"

The smaller boy sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's from _Kaiba._"

Joey looked back at him in surprise. "What if it's a bomb?!"

"…Then we shall both haunt him in the after life just OPEN IT!" Yugi roared. "And get it off the counter!"

The blond hurried to lift it off the counter only to grunt and knock himself off balance. Luckily, he didn't fall, because the gift kept him anchored. "Oh my _Gawd._ How did this get here?!"

"He came in, set it on the counter, and said 'this is for the puppy. Don't open it.' And then he left!" Yugi explained. "Like it didn't weigh a ton!"

Joey scowled, then ripped the pink paper off and grabbed a pen to cut through the tape keeping the box closed. "Bastard—he's not even here and he's showin' me up!"

"…I thought you were worried about it being a bomb," the smaller boy deadpanned, then went on his toes and peered over the edge of the box. "What is it?"

The blond blinked, then pulled the tissue paper away to show a large stuffed animal. It was a puppy. It was holding a heart. The heart had 'Be Mine' embroidered on it and was bordered with lace. Attached was a note that read, "There will be a press conference on Saturday announcing our new relationship. Be at Kaiba Corp. at ten AM."

Yugi blinked, then looked down at the bottom of the box. It was filled with bars of chocolate. No wonder it was so heavy! Glancing up at his friend, he flinched, then grabbed the box and, with a momentous shove, pushed it over the counter and onto the floor. "Woops! Look at that! I'll just clean this up while you're gone, okay!?"

"I'm gonna _KILL HIM!_" Joey roared, as the smaller boy dove back behind the counter. "I'll make up my hours tomorrow—Kaiba needs t' die _NOW!_"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto blinked as he heard someone pounding on the door to his office, then lifted his head. "Yes?"

At that, the door burst open, and he was allowed an eyeful of angry blond before something was thrown at him. He blinked as the stuffed dog bounced off his head, then frowned. "I take it you found my gift."

"It practically attacked me when I walked in the door! Ya didn't hafta get me such a big present! In fact, ya didn't hafta get me a present at all!" Joey shouted, stomping into the room and slamming the door. "Jerk! Ya can't just send me this and expect me t' fall in love with ya! I don't even like ya!"

"Do you think I'm attractive, puppy?" Seto cut in, before he could get even more worked up.

Joey frowned. "…Well, I guess so, but—"

"Do you think I'm intelligent?"

"Sure, I guess—"

"Do you think I'd be good to my lover?"

"…I suppose, but—"

"Do you think you'd like to be treated like my lover?"

"I dunno—_STOP IT!_" Joey roared. "I'm tryin' t' be mad at ya! Now let me pound your face in and I'll be on my way!" he added as the brunet stood and began toward him.

Seto stopped in front of him and raised an eyebrow. "You think I'm attractive, intelligent, and would be a good lover. What's stopping you from saying yes?"

"Your bastardiness, that's what—" the blond began angrily. "How do I know ya won't just do me and leave?! Ya probably don't even know how t' treat a lover, anyway!"

"So why don't you teach me? I'm sure _you_ of all people would know—" he began, lifting a hand to stroke the younger boy's cheek.

Joey slapped it away quickly. "That would be like havin' the blind leadin' the blind! I've never had a lover before!"

"Good. Then you'll be able to teach me to be the way _you_ want to have a lover, not how everyone else does." Seto smirked. "Just give it a chance, puppy."

"…I hate ya!" the blond spat, turning to leave, only to yelp as the older boy caught his wrist and slammed him against the door. "Ah!" He mewled as the brunet crushed his mouth with his own and grabbed his shoulders to try and push him away. "Nn!"

The brunet broke the kiss a moment later and smirked again. "Well? Have I changed your mind?"

"…I HOPE YA GET EATEN BY A RABID WEASEL AND PUKED INTO THE OCEAN!" Joey shouted, blushing, before he turned and stormed out of the office.

Once he was in the safety of the elevator, however, he paused to trace his lips with his fingertips. It hadn't been a very long kiss, but… it was enough for him to tell that Seto was an _awesome_ kisser. Covering his still warm cheeks with his hands, he sighed and sank to the ground. …Seto wasn't _unattractive…_

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto smirked and laced his fingers together smugly as he watched the blond on his computer screen slowly tracing his lips. His puppy would give in. It was only a matter of time. And then he'd have his puppy forever.


	57. Man's Best Friend: K

Man's Best Friend

"…You really are a troublesome dog…"

Seto tilted his head, then turned, raising an eyebrow as he saw his lover sitting on the floor, facing their dog; it was a poodle, not something that they'd have normally gotten, but the poor little thing had looked so pitiful and sad in its corner as all of the other pups jumped for attention, that Joey had fallen in love with it, and Seto had just had to nod and write the check.

Why was he having a staring contest with the dog?

Joey sighed again and rested his chin on his hand as the dog merely blinked at him. "Ya can't keep up with me when I wanna go on a run, ya don't play with me when I wanna play, and you're not even a good guard dog. Ya just sort of… walk around all high and mighty, like a pompous jerk. So why did I have to pick you?" He frowned. "…Why did I pick you?"

After a few moments of thought, he smiled sadly. "I bet it was because you were lonely. Ya just wanted someone t' hug ya and make ya feel loved. Is that why? Huh?" He squeaked as he felt a pair of arms slide around his waist and turned, blushing. "S'to-!"

"We should get him a friend. What do you think?" Seto asked, leaning his face into the blond's neck. "We'll get a dog from the shelter about the same age. A playful one. Okay?" He smiled. "After all… even man's best friend needs another friend it can go to when we've pissed each other off."

Joey blinked up at him, then smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Okay. …He's a lot like you, isn't he?"

"Excuse me? Do I look like I have an outrageous poof of hair on my head?" the brunet squawked, appalled.

The younger boy laughed. "Oh, never mind."


	58. Gives Me Hope: K

Gives Me Hope

Joey frowned as he heard a sob. He was supposed to be on his way to work, after having served detention, but he'd heard someone cry, and now he just couldn't leave in good conscience. Walking over to the doorway of the classroom he'd heard it from, he peeked inside—and nearly fell over.

It was Kaiba.

Once getting over the shock, he glanced down each side of the hallway. Then, he stepped into the classroom and closed the door gently. When the older teen turned his head to look at him, he was still slightly surprised to see the trails of tears that had slid down his face—and the tears still streaming from his eyes.

Joey bit his bottom lip and glanced away quickly, for some reason feeling ashamed of having to see him like that. When he felt a hand on his chin, he slowly looked up, and the brunet offered him a chair next to his. He sat down hesitantly, then looked up at the older boy again in confusion.

Seto looked back at the screen of his laptop. "The teacher and I have an agreement. She won't come in for a half an hour on Thursdays as long as I show up to her class every day. There's nothing wrong with crying for this." He motioned to the computer.

Joey blinked at him for a few moments before looking toward the screen.

_**At one point, my family couldn't afford to feed everyone.**_

_I'd usually skip out on meals. When my brother found this out he only finished half his meals so he could give the rest of what little he had to me. This was a few years back._

_I'm seventeen, the oldest. He's turning five in December. _

_By Anony, Winnipeg [1]_

Joey looked back up at the older boy sharply. "Kaiba—"

"Keep reading," Seto ordered, not looking away from the screen.

The blond frowned but looked back at the screen.

_**Just today, I found out the real reason of my parents' death**__ when I was 10._

_When our car lost its brakes and was going to crash into another, they tried to protect me to the last minute. Their bodies were found, covering me while I was unconscious._

_Their never ending love truly GMH._

_By P., Socal, CA [2]_

"…What does 'GMH' stand for?" Joey asked quietly, not turning away from the screen.

Seto pointed at the icon at the top of the screen. "What the site's all about, puppy. 'Gives Me Hope.'"

The blond read a few more stories, then turned his head, buried his face in the older boy's shoulder, and began to cry.

* * *

[1] Go to givesmehope . com. Take out the spaces. Read. You will smile; you will cry. I have been crying for the last two hours, but I've never felt so happy. If it inspires you, send the address to everyone you know.


	59. Epic Fail: T

Epic Fail

Joey blinked. "…Excuse me, what?"

"Go out with me," Seto repeated.

"…" The blond blinked at him again before scowling.

That was all the warning the CEO got before a fist collided with his cheek.

Joey turned toward his friends and smiled. "So, did we decide we were gettin' milkshakes or not?"

Yugi blinked at the brunet on the floor for a moment, then looked up at the blond and raised an eyebrow. Then, he sighed. "I'll buy you a milkshake, Joey."

"AWESOME! Let's go!" the lanky teen cheered, then grabbed both Téa and Yugi by the wrist and hurriedly fled the room before the CEO could get up and deal out some sort of retribution.

Tristan stayed only a moment to smirk and lean over the fallen teen (who was still too stunned to get up). "Fail. Epic fail."

Seto waited a few minutes after they'd all left before sitting up. …Perhaps that hadn't been the way to go about getting his puppy on a date with him.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"—Please."

Joey blinked. "…Excuse me, what?"

"…I said, 'go out with me, please,'" Seto repeated.

"…" The blond shot him a skeptical glance. "…How can I be sure this isn't just an attempt to humiliate me?"

"I would never—" The brunet cut himself off as Yugi-turned-Yami got between them.

"Kaiba! How dare you try and humiliate Joey?! Let's settle this with a duel!" he exclaimed, pointing in the taller boy's face.

"…I have no idea why I even _breathe_ sometimes," Seto mumbled, but that appeared to be a mistake—as Yami had taken it as an insult and had thus punched him in the face.

"How dare you belittle yourself, Kaiba?! If you can't believe in yourself, you can't believe in the heart of the cards, and that wouldn't be a fair duel!" Yami shouted, flailing his arms about in his outrage.

Téa sighed and grabbed his arm. "Come on, Yami; I challenge you to a dance off."

"I shall win this time!"

Joey blinked down at the brunet before placing his hands behind his head and turning to follow them. "Can I play the winner?"

Ryou-turned-Yami-Bakura paused to lean over the fallen CEO and smirked. "Fail. Epic fail."

"I feel as if I've heard that before," Seto replied sarcastically.

He needed another way to ask his puppy on a date.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey narrowed his eyes. "What the _hell_ didja just say t' me?!"

"I _said_ that I would like to have dinner with you sometime," Seto repeated, scowling as well. "And I have no intention of trying to humiliate you or whatever, so shut the hell up and go out with me, damn it!"

"If that's supposed t' win me over, you're sadly mistaken!" the blond exclaimed angrily, then punched him in the nose.

"Ow! Damn it, mutt!"

"Bite me, rich boy!"

Téa watched her friend stomp away and frowned, then turned to the taller boy. "Kaiba…"

"I know. It's a fail. An epic fail. You don't need to tell me," Seto mumbled darkly, cupping his hands under his nose so that the blood wouldn't dribble onto his uniform.

She stared at him in disbelief before snorting and explaining, "…Actually, I was going to say you might want to bring a peace offering next time—food, preferably—so he'll be too busy eating to hit you again."

"…Oh."

"…But you're right; that was an _epic_ fail."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"…Is it poisoned?" Joey asked suspiciously, eying the cupcake being offered to him.

Seto groaned. "Oh, hell, just punch me and get this over with."

The blond didn't want to be thought of as unnecessarily violent, but if he was being asked to, who was he to object? Snatching the pastry from his hand (so it wouldn't get ruined, he told himself), he obliged and punched him in the face.

As the older boy tried to recover from the hit, he curiously took a bite of the cupcake. "…Hey! This is really good!"

Seto blinked up at him in disbelief before letting out a frustrated roar. "I'll _kill you!!!_"

Joey shoved the rest of the cupcake in his mouth and took off at a run.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto slammed his hands down on the blond's desk and glared at him. "Let me make it absolutely clear to you. I have no ulterior motives. I want to date you. I want to take you to dinner, maybe catch a movie, or go for a walk. I want to take you home and hump you until we're both passed out. I want to do this multiple times. After about a year, I want to move you into my mansion. Then, a few years later, we will get married and live happily ever after. Or some variation of that. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!"

Joey blinked at him, stunned, then blushed a little; he was sort of afraid to turn him down again—especially with his eye twitching like that. "No."

"Good. I'll pick you up for a date tomorrow at six."

"Okay." The blond blushed and ducked in his seat a little when he noticed the rest of the class staring at him. "…Please stop talking to me now."

Seto blinked at him for a moment, then turned to find the teacher standing behind him. "What?"

"I expect to see you today for detention," she stated, then walked back up to the front of the classroom.

The brunet blinked at the detention slip in his hand for a moment, then let out a frustrated roar. "Oh, _come __**on!**_"

Yugi turned to look up at him, then smiled sweetly. "It's okay, Kaiba. Just think of it as another… epic fail."

"YOU'RE TOO NICE TO BE SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Seto roared.

"_Mr._ Kaiba! Do you want detention tomorrow, too?!"

"…This isn't even my class!"


	60. Scream and Shout: T

Author's Note: So I honestly don't know how to feel about this drabble. **:/** So if you like it, huzzah; if you don't like it, I suppose I can't really blame you. This is what happens when I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Scream and Shout

"_AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!_"

"…And thus, we learn that Joey is either startled out of his seat or happy beyond belief," Tristan stated after a moment, then went back to nursing his cup of coffee; it really was too early to be screaming.

Seto grumbled something under his breath before he slumped forward and his head hit the table with a thump. "Don't shout…"

Moments later, Joey was downstairs, nearly glowing with happiness. "Tris'! You'll never guess what happened! Yami. Proposed. To Yugi! OHMYGOD AND HE TOLD ME FIRST!" he added, flailing his arms about happily.

"Woohoo."

"…Ya obviously don't understand the gravity of the situation," the blond stated. "I never know what's goin' on—who's goin' out with who, when so-'n'-so broke up with that one person—I am _completely_ clueless. And Yugi. Told. Me. FIRST!" He clasped his hands together and smiled, a pleased sigh escaping his lips. "I knew there was a reason I loved Yugi."

"…Go get _him_ to fuck you silly then," Seto mumbled, only to groan as his chair was kicked and he suddenly found himself acquainted with the floor. "_God,_ my body!"

"I mean love him like a friend, ya moron!" Joey spat, glaring at him, before sighing again and sitting at the table. "I'm so happy for him…"

Silence filled the room. Well, except for the sound of grunting and cursing as the CEO crawled back into his seat, turned back to the table, and knocked over his mug of coffee. Then, he got up and stomped over to the coffee pot for more.

"Next time, go to _his_ house to have sex," Tristan grumbled, reaching for the creamer. "It's bad enough just thinking about the two of you together, but then I hear you screaming in the middle of the night—"

"I tried to be quiet!" Joey exclaimed, covering his cheeks in embarrassment. "I swear!"

The former thug slapped the CEO's hand away from his creamer and sighed. "I believe 'tried' is the keyword. YOU DON'T GET MY CREAMER, DAMN IT!"

When Seto mumbled something along the lines of using milk instead, the blond frowned. "Seto, our milk's gone sour. Ya don't wanna use that."

"…Then go out and buy me some!" Seto roared, throwing his wallet at him. "Damn it! You practically rape me all night and then your roommate says I can't use any cream in my coffee! Are you trying to kill me?!"

Joey blinked at him innocently, then smirked and stood up. "I think I know somethin' besides coffee that could wake ya up."

"Oh, GOD, use my creamer," Tristan snarled, standing up. "And wait until I'm gone before you do anything else!"

Seto sighed and sat back down at the table. "You should really think about moving in with me. Just so Tristan doesn't have to worry about screams waking him in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, I guess." Joey frowned and sat back down. "But then he'd be livin' here alone."

"…Joey. I'm sure he could find someone else to come live with him. …Like Duke," he mumbled under his breath, though the last part went right over the blond's head.

"Well, I'll talk t' him about it." The younger boy shrugged, then turned a smirk on him. "But since he's leavin', I figure we could—"

"Puppy, you got more than enough last night. I had a long day at work yesterday, and then I had to entertain you and—you and your _horniness._ I like sex, and I especially like it with you, but _four rounds is excessive_ and I'm surprised your ass isn't too sore to sit down." When Joey opened his mouth, the brunet scowled. "I swear to God, I will scream 'fire' and the whole building will empty out within seconds. Then I'll tell them it was a false alarm and _you_ called it. You will have an angry mob to deal with and I will suddenly have a business appointment, so I won't be able to help you."

Joey's jaw dropped a little. "…_Oh! My! God!_ I can't believe you just said that!"

Seto smirked as he finally got the right amount of creamer in his coffee and lifted the cup to take a deep inhale of Coffee Aroma. "Mm… At least give me until tonight to recharge, puppy. I swear I'll eat properly to have enough energy and I'll down a soda or something before I get home so I'm hyped up. Just shut up and let me enjoy my coffee."

The blond's lower lip began to jut out a little. "…Still can't believe ya talked t' me that way…"

"I'd kiss your feelings better, but I just don't care right now." Seto sipped his coffee and hummed in appreciation. After a moment, he added, "Aren't you going to gloat to Téa about how Yugi told you first."

"I'm so happy I could float away on a cloud," Joey sighed, standing up and moving toward the phone.


	61. Wings: T

Author's Note: So what if it doesn't make sense? You know you like it. **:3**

Wings

The last person Mokuba expected to get his brother down was Joey. When he'd realized that his brother was standing on the roof of the Kaiba Corp. building, he'd run up to see what he was doing, but when Seto had sent him away, he realized that Seto was planning to jump. Eventually, anyway. That gave him enough time to call Yugi and the gang, though.

Luckily, they all got there at about the same time. First, Yugi had gone up, promising to allow his darker half a chance to try and talk sense to him if his big, teary eyes couldn't get him down. He'd returned looking dejected and hurt. _"He told me I'd never understand."_

Ryou had gone up next, promising _not _to allow his darker half out. He had big doe eyes like Yugi, and was vindictive enough to actually use them to his advantage. However, when he came back down, it was his darker ego in charge, spitting and cursing in fury. _"He called me a fucking British fairy! Well, he deserves whatever Yami Bakura gave him!"_

Téa had then volunteered, and he'd had hope that she'd actually get him down; she knew friendship speeches probably wouldn't work, but she had some mighty good family speeches, too. That, and she was very good at using logic to her advantage, which Seto would probably appreciate. She'd come back down with a straight face. However, when Tristan had tentatively asked her how it had gone, she let out a string of curses so long and so foul that even Joey blushed. _"Calling me a stupid cheerleader with no idea of how the real world works! I'll show him how the real world works! I'll take him down! I'll __**murder**__ him! …When he comes down, of course."_

After a few minutes of hemming and hawing, Tristan sighed and went inside. He came back down not even ten minutes later, looking more pissed off than even Téa—though not cursing nearly as creatively. He stated that Seto was a dick and deserved whatever was coming. _"Damn prick! Always insulting __**everyone**__ that comes near him. Well, screw him! He can jump, for all I care!"_

Mokuba felt at a loss. By then, there were dozens of news vans and cameras, along with police cars and barricades to keep the public out, and he was sure they'd just drive Seto to jump even more. And was that a helicopter!? Damn it! He was going to be left without a brother! WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO!?

Wait. Someone hadn't gone up to speak with him yet.

Turning toward the blond that had been surprisingly quiet, Mokuba frowned.

Joey had his hands in his pockets, staring up toward the top of the skyscraper. He was rocking back and forth on his heels, humming quietly, and appeared unconcerned—though he supposed that was to be expected. Joey and Seto had never gotten along.

…Well, everyone else had tried. What harm could it do?

Joey looked surprised that he had asked, but eventually, he nodded and sauntered into the building.

Mokuba didn't know what had happened up there, but when Seto came striding out of the building with the blond curled up in his arms, all he could do was cry, and hug his brother, and thank Joey for getting him down.

Seto would have hell to deal with, considering the press. However, the younger sibling just didn't see him caring right now.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto rolled his eyes and let out a growl of frustration as he heard the door to the roof again. At this rate, he really _was_ going to jump. He wasn't in the _mood_ to deal with all of this.

After a moment, though, he was surprised when a certain puppy came up to stand on the ledge with him.

Joey glanced downward and let out a low whistle. "Well, that's a far drop." He rocked back and forth a few times, then turned to look up at him. "So I'm not the only one that wonders, then?"

Seto frowned in confusion. "…Wonders what?"

"What it would be like t' jump." Joey turned back to face outward and spread his arms. "T' just fall, and feel the air rushing by ya. …It's the thought of actually landin' that I'm afraid of."

"…Yeah. I was just thinking about that," the brunet agreed.

"Sometimes I like t' pretend I have wings, and then jumpin' would be okay. I could catch myself. I wanna be able t' fly like my dragon. _Whoa-!_" A sudden gust of air threw him off balance.

Seto caught him by the collar of his jacket and yanked him backward, but only succeeded in throwing them both onto the cement of the roof, grunting quietly as he landed on the blond's surprisingly soft body. "Fuck."

Joey blinked for a few moments, stunned, then looked up at the brunet innocently. After a few seconds of nibbling his lower lip, he smiled. "I guess it's best that I don't fly, huh? I'd probably crash land more than I would ever want."

"…Yeah," Seto agreed after a moment. "…I didn't realize anyone else could feel like I did."

"But I'm not just anyone else. I'm Joey Wheeler—the guy that always gets in your face." The blond stuck his tongue out at him playfully. "I like dragons too, ya know."

The older boy frowned, then smirked a little. "That's true. Will you pretend to be a dragon with me, then?"

"…I suppose I wouldn't mind," the blond replied after a little thought.

"Then I suppose you know, dragons are very passionate creatures."

"…That's why we fight all the time, isn't it?"

"…I suppose. But think on this—what if that passion was applied elsewhere?"

Joey's brows furrowed together in confusion. "Like where?"

"Like… sex," Seto replied, smirking. "Can't you imagine dragons being passionate during sex?"

"…I… hafta go now…" the blond began, trying to wriggle out from under him. He mewled helplessly as the older boy crushed their mouths together, then whimpered as he began massaging his arms. Even he realized he was putty in the older boy's claws. "Nyu…!"

Seto blinked as he finally recognized the sound of a helicopter nearby, then turned his head, allowing the younger boy to recover. He scowled as he saw a helicopter a few hundred feet away, then stood up, scooped the blond into his arms, and stomped over to the door so he could go back to the stairwell so he could get back to the ground and reassure his brother that he had _never_ planned on jumping.

He wasn't that stupid; he had only wanted to think.

As he looked down at the blond snuggling up to him and trailing his fingers over his chest, he decided it really was funny that the one he argued with the most was the one that understood him the best.


	62. Subconscious: T

Subconscious

"…He's been asleep for almost eighteen hours, Joey. Are you sure we shouldn't call a doctor or something?"

"No, don't worry," the blond replied, not even looking at his sleeping beau—who had come in at one o'clock on their movie night, sat down, and had been out cold since then. "He does this sometimes." When his friends gave him either stern or disbelieving looks, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, _fine._ But ya won't see me at all tomorrow—and maybe the next day."

Tristan rolled his eyes. "It can't be that bad. I mean, look—"

"No, no, you'll see," Joey cut in. "It'll take a few minutes, but he'll wake up, I promise." He sighed loudly in frustration, then turned and straddled the slumbering brunet's lap. "Oh _Seto…_"

Seto turned his head away and grumbled but didn't awaken.

Joey smiled a little and brushed his lips against the older boy's ear. "Seto, I need you. …I need t' feel you touchin' me…" When the brunet tilted his head closer to his mouth, he couldn't help a quite moan. "Well, if you're not gonna help me, I'll just go up t' our room, take off all my clothes, and touch myself. You just stay down here and sleep while I touch myself. Okay?"

Seto didn't stir.

Joey stood up and scratched his head, smiling at his friends absently. "Well, I guess I'll see you guys sometime. …I really don't know. Just… stick around until Seto wakes up. It'll scare the shit out of ya, honestly."

A few moments later, Seto's eyes snapped open. He blinked at the ceiling for a moment before glancing around. Once he saw who was there, he stood up and began toward the stairs. "You all should go. Joey will call you… sometime…"

"…Whoa. I didn't think anyone's subconscious was that good," Yugi stated after a moment.

"Well, it _is_ Kaiba," Ryou replied, shrugging slightly. "We better go before we hear something we don't want to."

"…Yeah, let's go."

"_Nyee! Seto!_"

"OH MY GOD RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Tristan shrieked, sprinting for the door.


	63. Oxiclean: K Plus

Oxiclean

"AIBOU!"

Yugi jumped and let out a yelp as his concentration on his homework was obliterated. "Oh my God!"

Yami rushed into the room and grabbed his arm. "Aibou! The T-Fee is yelling at me! It wants me to buy a magical soap with some outrageous name! It will whiten whites and brighten brights, or some such silliness!"

"…That's Billy Mayes, Yami. …And anyway, just change the channel. Put it on that one show you like."

"I was going to, but I can't remember which number it's on!" the former spirit exclaimed, flailing his arms about.

"…It's sixty-four."

"Thank you, aibou!" Yami rushed out of the room to change the channel on the man 'yelling at him.'

Yugi stared after him for a few moments before picking up his phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Joey, you will _never_ believe what just happened with Yami."

"_Let me go get Seto; he always likes to laugh at Yami's short-comings."_

"Okay, just hurry up."


	64. Woops: T

Woops

"GAH! Stupid locker!" Joey snarled and punched the locker in front of him angrily. "Go'damit! Why won't ya open!?"

"Joey, are you okay?" Yugi asked in concern, frowning, as he walked up beside him.

"MY STUPID LOCKER WON'T OPEN!" the blond roared.

"It figures a mutt wouldn't understand how to use a locker."

"I'M IN A BAD MOOD, KAIBA! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Seto winced slightly as his ears began to ring, then sighed and rolled his eyes. "What's your combo, mutt?"

Joey glared at him for a moment longer before sighing in defeat and mumbling, "…Thirty-four, twenty-six, fifteen." He blinked as the brunet reached for the locker to the immediately to the right of the one he'd been abusing and opened it easily. He looked up at the older boy, then turned back to look up at the number of the locker he was standing in front of. "Oh. …Woops." He paused for a second, then took a step to the side to slide in front of his own locker to begin switching books.

Seto raised an eyebrow. "Well? Don't I get an apology?"

"…Fine." Slamming the door of his locker shut, he turned, went up on his toes, and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. Then, he grabbed his smaller friend by the wrist and began dragging him out of the school. "C'mon; we're late meeting the others for burgers."

"…But that's _your_ fault!" Yugi exclaimed after a minute, deciding not to comment on what had just happened.

Seto blinked, suddenly unable to recall what his own locker combination was. Then again, he thought it completely acceptable to be unable to remember his locker combination at the moment, considering the blond he thought hated his guts had just kissed his cheek in lieu of an apology. Did he really hate the thought of showing his enemy appreciation that much that he'd do something embarrassing instead?

…Or was he secretly attracted to him and had seen an opportunity and taken it? …He suddenly required a conversation with the puppy.


	65. No Worries: T

No Worries

"But… but he's never liked Kaiba before! Why does he like him now?!" Téa exclaimed, confused beyond belief.

"We'll just have to trust that Joey's made the right decision," Yugi replied, smiling at her as if the solution was just that simple.

Tristan scowled. "But what if Kaiba tries to change him!? What if he monopolizes all of his free time!? What if he stops hanging out with _us?!_"

Yugi blinked at him for a moment before opening his mouth for another simple answer, but luckily, he was cut off by some very familiar yelling.

"LIKE HELL! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF IN PUBLIC, YOU PERVERT!" Joey paused in the doorway to turn and shout a little more. "I HOPE IT SHIRVELS AND FALLS OFF!"

The trio blinked as Seto said something—though they couldn't hear it through the door—that made the blond blush and sputter angrily.

"Y-YES I DO! PERVERT! BASTARD! I HATE YOU!" So saying, the blond slammed the door shut, then scampered into the bathroom. "I'll be right back!"

Yugi tilted his head, then turned to Tristan and deadpanned, "I can honestly say we have no worries. Even when they're dating, they fight like cats and dogs."


	66. Dear Pharaoh: T

Dear Pharaoh

_Dear Pharaoh,_

_It has come to our attention that you have started banishing kitchen items to the Shadow Realm. Please stop._

_The last few toasters have ended up accidentally landing on people; the Mystical Elf was in a coma for three days after she was struck. The Kuriboh have been fighting and exploding over a whisk. They don't even know what a whisk is._

_We must also mention those large pots full of inedible food. A few poor monsters have eaten the contents and become violently ill. Food poisoning does not agree with them. There is a __**reason**__ you don't need to feed your monsters; we feed ourselves._

_Also, you have triggered a particularly violent argument with the Red-Eyes Black Dragon and the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. They have begun fighting over the stove you banished; the Red-Eyes insists that it is his, because it fell and landed on him, while the Blue-Eyes argues that it should belong to her for extra heat, since he can absorb heat easier with his black scales. Though we are sure they will solve the problem themselves, THIS PROBLEM SHOULDN'T EXIST ANYWAY._

_We must repeat: PLEASE STOP BANISHING KITCHEN ITEMS TO THE SHADOW REALM._

_That is all._

_Sincerely,_

_Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl, and (begrudgingly) Mystical Elf_


	67. Okay: T

Okay

"Why are you so okay with this?"

Mokuba nearly crushed the bag of popcorn in his hands and turned. "Stop sneaking up on me like that!"

Joey frowned and looked down at the ground, scuffing his toes over the carpet nervously. "…Sorry."

The younger boy frowned. Joey still wasn't quite comfortable in their home yet; he was still expecting to get thrown out. He didn't realize that they didn't care if he broke an expensive vase, or accidentally fried a computer (as long as it wasn't Seto's).

AND HE DIDN'T REALIZE HE COULD STOP SKULKING AROUND SOUNDLESSLY LIKE A THIEF.

Seriously. Seto had ripped the newspaper in half once because he'd been so startled when Joey had hugged him from behind.

"…Why am I okay with what?" Mokuba asked after a moment, brows furrowing together.

"Me. Seto. …This… thing we have goin'," the blond explained, scuffing his toes over the carpet again. "Most people wouldn't be okay with a family member bein' gay. …I know my family wasn't…"

The younger boy stared at him for a few minutes before sighing and pausing his movie. "Joey, I'm only gonna say this once. I'm okay with this, because MY BROTHER IS BAT SHIT CRAZY!" he shouted, making the blond stumble backward in surprise.

Joey gaped at him, stunned, then exclaimed, "H-how can ya just say that about your brother?! Don't ya respect him?!"

Mokuba nodded. "I respect him a lot. However, that doesn't mean he isn't fucked up in the head. Have you seen all of the dragons he has in the mansion? Have you seen the two in the garden? Not the ones that are plants just pruned into being shaped like dragons; the GIANT OBSIDIAN AND MARBLE ONES WITH SAPPHIRES AND RUBIES FOR EYES."

"…I have not seen those, no," the blond answered, frowning.

"Yeah. Not to mention that he has to take over at least one small company a week or else he feels he hasn't accomplished anything," the younger boy continued, rolling his eyes. "And his obsession with Duel Monsters—mostly in defeating Yami Yugi. And it took me forever to make him stop that evil 'wahahaha' laugh, because it creeps me out. He'll still do it if he crushes a really big competitor, though. …Or he thinks he's found a way to beat Yami Yugi…"

"…Well, he _is_ a businessman—" Joey began, unsure of what to make what he was being told. "And his business _does_ involve Dule Monsters—"

"Yeah, Joey, you're eighteen and he's twenty. And he's still obsessed with Duel Monsters."

"…I guess you've got a point…"

Mokuba sighed. "So, in answer to your question, I'm so _okay_ with him being gay because honestly, I expected to walk in on him jacking off to a picture of his Blue-Eyes. You're human. That in and of itself makes me happy," he replied, turning back to the TV. "I mean you guys really confuse me sometimes because you fight like cats and dogs and then end up making out, but I still think that's the most functional relationship he has besides the one he has with me."

"…But you guys blackmail each other into doing things you don't want to," Joey mumbled, brows drawing together in confusion.

"Still the most functional relationship he has."

"…You guys are both crazy!"

Mokuba turned to raise an eyebrow at him. "Well, of course we are. I mean, Seto kind of went crazy because of all his responsibilities, and he's my role model, so obviously I'd have to pick up some of his eccentric quirks. Honestly, this shouldn't be so much of a surprise. Now you better get back to bed before Seto wakes up. If he knows we've had this conversation, I'll be grounded to my room—_such a punishment,_ I know, considering I have _everything_ in there—and _you_ will suddenly find yourself confined to your bed for hours."

Joey stared at him in disbelief before exclaiming, "Ya shouldn't be sayin' that so casually! Your family is so fuckin' messed up!"

"Yeah… Go distract Seto so I can finish this movie before he comes down; he says I'm not allowed to watch rated R movies until I'm twenty-five," Mokuba mumbled, shoving a handful of crushed popcorn into his mouth as he dismissed the other boy.


	68. Awkward: T

Awkward

Yugi blinked as he found his friend staring at himself in the mirror, then frowned in concern. "Joey? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just tryin' t' figure out why Seto keeps makin' me wear dresses whenever he can finagle me into one. I mean, he says he likes the fact that I'm a boy, but sometimes, I gotta wonder, 'cause he keeps puttin' me in ladies' clothes." Joey sighed, and crossed his arms, pouting a little. "And it makes me wonder…"

"It's because you have sexy legs."

The other two boys blinked, stunned, before turning to look at the albino idly flipping through a magazine.

Ryou blinked when he realized the others were staring at him, then frowned. "What?"

"…You think I have sexy legs?" Joey asked after a minute, unsure if he wanted to know the answer to his question.

The smaller boy blinked, then blushed and let out an 'eep.' "Did I say that out loud?!"

Yugi chuckled quietly. "Yeah, Ryou, you did."

"…Well that's embarrassing! I'm sorry, Joey!" Ryou exclaimed, covering his cheeks.

"…So it's because I have sexy legs?" Joey looked down at his legs, frowning, then lifted one of them to examine it. "…How are they so sexy?"

"…Because they're long and toned," the smaller boy stated, hiding behind his curtain of hair.

Yugi frowned. "Why do you know that?"

"…It's… It's just something I noticed! I mean, look at him! He's all legs!" Ryou exclaimed, gesticulating wildly toward the blond. "And you know what! I think he'd look _sexy_ in a dress! Okay?! STOP JUDGING ME!"

Joey and Yugi stared at him for a few moments longer, stunned, before the blond slowly stated, "Neither of us were."

"…Oh. …Well, this is awkward."

After a few more moments, the three burst into laughter. Really, odd moments between them were common now.


	69. Squirreling: T

Squirreling

Seto blinked as he felt something inside his pillowcase, then sat up and dug whatever it was out. When his hand produced a couple of crumpled dollar bills, he was perplexed, to say the least. How had they gotten there? And why?

Coupled with the fact that he'd found little money stashes all over the room and bathroom over the past few weeks, and the few wrapped foods (like packaged prunes and a few fortune cookies and—once—a package of Easy Mac), he was understandably confused. It couldn't be Mokuba playing a joke on him, because he didn't like prunes and wouldn't even touch them, and it didn't make sense for him to hide his own money in Seto's rooms. That left his puppy.

Looking up as the bathroom door opened, the brunet was momentarily distracted by his lover stepping out in a small robe, still a little damp from his shower. Once he'd shaken all perverted thoughts away, however, he asked, "Puppy? Have you been hiding money and food all over the place? Or is that some maid's sick idea of a joke?"

Joey looked toward him sharply and blushed, then sighed quietly and looked down at his feet. "…Well… Yeah… that was me."

"…Why?" Seto deadpanned, frowning in concern.

The blond shrugged a little and scuffed the rug with his toes, then looked up at him from beneath his bangs. "Old habits are hard t' break, I guess. When I lived with my dad, I got used t' squirrelin' away money and food in case he tried t' take it from me. He would never try t' look for it, though, 'cause that would take too much effort. So as long as I had a couple bucks on me when he roughed me up and I gave it to him, there was no problem. …I'm… sorry about that…"

"…Please refrain from your squirreling in our bed," Seto replied, throwing the crumpled bills at him, before he laid his head back down on the pillow. After a few moments, he heard the blond's delighted giggle and smiled; Joey had always strived for his approval, and this small showing must have been another positive point for him. "Stop giggling and get your ass in bed, pup."

Joey shrugged the robe off and wriggled under the covers, pressing up against the other boy's body tightly. "Thank you, Seto."

"Mm…" The brunet took a moment to revel at the warm, moist skin rubbing against his, then slid his arm around the younger teen's waist and rolled on top of him. "You're welcome…"

"Eep!" The blond giggled again as the older boy pressed between his legs and wrapped his arms around his neck. "How'd I know that was gonna happen?"

"You know me too well, I suppose." Seto dipped his head to kiss him as his hand fumbled with the drawer of the nightstand to get the bottle of lube. When his hand closed around more crumpled paper, however, he blinked and turned his head to find a few more frumpy bills. "…Really?"

Joey blushed a little and offered him a bashful smile. "…Yeah?"

"…What am I going to do with you, puppy," the brunet sighed, then finally grabbed the lube and crushed his lover's mouth in another kiss.


	70. Cherry: M

Cherry

"Hey, Kaiba, do ya want my cherry?"

Seto blinked slowly before slowly lifting his head to look up at the blond. "What?"

_Joey peered up at Seto from beneath his lashes as he trailed his fingers down his thigh, sitting on his bed in the coyest manner possible. He licked his kiss-bruised lips anxiously, then bit his bottom lip and slid his hand up instead to hold his fist to his chest. "Do ya want my cherry, Seto? It hasn't been touched by anyone else." He blushed and looked down at the covers. "…Not even me."_

_Seto slid his eyes over the blond's naked form slowly, drinking in the pink flush of his skin against his blue quilt. "I don't particularly care for cherries."_

_Joey blushed even more and looked down at the floor in shame. "…Oh. I-I see. I'm… I'm sorry."_

"…" _The brunet eyed the younger boy for a few more moments before grabbing his shoulder and shoving him onto his back. "But I can make an exception just this once, if it's __**your**__ cherry."_

"_O-oh!" Joey mewed as the brunet pressed between his legs. "Seto! So ya do want it? I mean—__**Oh!**__"_

"_Mm, your cherry is the only cherry I want…"_

"_Oh! S-Seto! Please—__**Oh! OH!**__"_

"Oh God! Kaiba!"

Seto blinked as he felt something being pressed under his nose. "Wha-?"

"God, can't ya tell when you're havin' a fuckin' nosebleed?!" Joey exclaimed, glaring at him, as he pressed a wad of tissues to his nose. "Jesus! All I did was ask if ya wanted my fuckin' cherry! I only like fresh ones!"

Seto blinked again before slowly glancing downward. When he found a huge chocolate sundae with a cherry on top, however, he wanted to bang his skull against the table. "No, mutt, I don't want your 'fuckin' cherry.' …A different cherry, however…"

Joey stared at him in confusion. "…What?"

"…Come to my house tonight. I have a lot of fresh cherries from one of Mokuba's friend's older sisters. Something about them being the 'fruit of love' or something." The brunet snorted. "I don't particularly like cherries. You can have all of them."

The blond smiled brightly. "Really?!"

"Yes." Seto shrugged carelessly. "Come around six or seven; I'll be home from work around then."

"Fantastic! I love cherries!"

"And I'm sure I'd love _your_ cherry."

Joey blinked. "What was that?"

"Nothing."


	71. Falling: T

Falling

"So are you so perfect you never trip or something?"

Seto scowled. He didn't have time for his lover's inane questions. Especially when he was using the word 'perfect;' he'd woken up with him, hadn't he?! He knew that he couldn't function without coffee and that his hair stuck up oddly before he took his shower! That was far from perfect!

"What the hell are you blathering about now, mutt?"

Instead of getting offended and yelling at him, the blond just frowned. "Well, I've never seen ya actually trip in real life, and that's okay, I guess. But ya never say that you've _fallen_ in love with me. …You barely even tell me ya love me."

Seto turned to face him sharply, eyebrow twitching. "Is that really what this is about?"

"…Well if you're gonna get all huffy about it, never mind," Joey mumbled, looking hurt, before he made to get up from the couch. "Forget I asked." He was nearly to the door before he felt a hand on his wrist spinning him around. "Eek!"

"I have trouble telling _Mokuba_ I love him, mutt," the brunet snapped, glaring at him. "In case you've forgotten. And it's not that I'm so perfect I can't even figuratively trip or fall. You don't _fall_ in love. You learn to love. I mean, how the hell do you fall in love? 'Woops, just tripped over that crack in the road and fell on you. Oh, by the way, I love you and we're gonna get married.' IT MAKES NO SENSE!"

Joey blinked. "…Seto—"

"Furthermore, friendship is an offshoot of love, so you'd have to be able to fall into _friendship_ too. Have you ever heard any of your Friendship Cheerleader Geek Squad say 'oh, we just fell into friendship?'" Seto exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

…He was amused that his lover had actually been so upset that he'd actually raised his voice an octave for the last statement, but he was afraid that he'd have a heart attack; this was surely bad for his blood pressure. "But Seto—"

But the brunet was on a roll now. "I have nothing against tripping and falling. If you want me to, I will purposely trip at a press conference and fall on my face on the way to the podium. Just now that I have never—and _will_ never—fall in love!" He paused to pant, still glaring at his lover.

Joey sighed. "Are you finished now?" When the older boy nodded, he sighed and leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek. "Ya don't hafta trip and fall on the way t' the podium. I just wanted t' know why."

"…Well, now you know," Seto replied, still a little flustered from his own outburst.

"Yes, I do. I think the whole mansion knows now." The blond smiled as his lover blushed a little and leaned in to kiss his cheek again. "But, just for that, I'll let ya do that one thing ya really like t' do tonight in bed."

"…You're training me to be honest. That's not a good thing," Seto stated seriously. "Not when future answers could be hurtful to you."

"I have faith that you'll censor your own answers. Besides, ya oughtta know what statements are gonna get ya laid and which ones are gonna get ya on the couch," Joey replied, patting his chest, before turning to leave again. "I'm gonna go make dinner. You just… do whatever it is you do on your laptop." He waved carelessly as he sauntered out of the room, making sure to add a little more wiggle to his hips than he usually would. When he heard the other boy growl quietly, he smirked and placed his hands behind his head.

They were in for some excitement in the bedroom tonight!


	72. Guest Room: T

Guest Room

Seto sighed and rubbed his temple. "So let me get this straight; you don't understand why Joey or I sleep on the couch when we've had an argument."

"We've got like a gazillion guest rooms!" Mokuba exclaimed in exasperation. "All with comfortable beds! And pillows! And blankets! So why do you take the couch?!"

"Because if I sleep in a guest room, Joey gets afraid that I'm going to break up with him," the brunet replied, turning back to the paperwork on his desk.

The younger boy blinked at him, stunned, then frowned in confusion. "…I'm sorry, I don't think I understand yet."

Seto sighed again, then set his papers back on the desk and laced his fingers together as he lifted his gaze to his brother's face. "You remember that Joey came from a broken home, don't you?"

"…Well, yeah…"

"He remembers that after arguments, his father slept on the couch. Those arguments were always resolved. When his parents started sleeping in separate rooms, that's when they split up. He's terrified that if I start sleeping in another room, it means I'm getting fed up with him. Then he tries to have sex with me, because he thinks that will make me happy, but I don't want it under those circumstances. He just gets more distressed, because I'm always willing, and he starts to cry, and he starts packing."

"…But he's never actually left…" Mokuba mumbled, brows furrowing together.

The brunet paused a moment to rub his eyes tiredly. "That's because I pounce on him to keep him from actually leaving. He's too exhausted to leave afterward and that gives me time to put his things away and get ready to hold him down and convince him that I really want him to stay. It requires a lot of 'I love you's and 'I need you's and 'I want you's. And then more sex."

"I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT LAST PART!!!!" the younger boy roared, outraged and embarrassed, before he turned and stomped out.

Joey squeaked and lifted the tray in his hands so Mokuba wouldn't knock it onto the floor on his way out, then frowned and turned to watch him go. "Gosh, what was that about?"

"He heard something he didn't want to. What sort of sandwich do I get today?"

"Roast beef. And look—ya even get a pudding cup for dessert!" the blond stated, then giggled quietly at the look of distaste on his face. His giggle died immediately when the expression of distaste turned to a smirk. "…What's that look for?" He yelped as the brunet ripped his shirt open and he suddenly found himself covered in pudding. "_Seto!_"

"You know, I think I want that pudding now. There's nothing wrong with eating dessert first, right?" Seto asked quietly, standing from his seat behind the desk.

Joey shrieked and made a dash for it. "Nononono!"

"But puppy, you've gotten so messy. Look, there's pudding all over you."

"You put it there! Go eat your damn sandwich! No, your sandwich! SETO!"

"Puppy Pudding Sandwich. Delicious."

"_SETO!_"


	73. Tracking: T

Tracking

"Hey, Seto, can I borrow some money for sneakers? I don't get paid until Friday, and these are fallin' apart," Joey stated, walking into the brunet's office. "I'll pay ya back."

Seto glanced up at him momentarily before shrugging. "Sure. Grab my wallet."

"Thanks. Gee, maybe I shouldn't have waited so long t' get…" The blond trailed off as he saw something poking out of the sole of his shoe, then frowned and pulled it out. Seeing that it was a small chip with the initials 'SK' on them, however, he narrowed his eyes and turned his angry gaze on the boy so innocently typing on his laptop. "…Seto. What is this."

Seto paused, then slowly looked back up at him. "…Well, obviously, it's a tracking device."

"…I _see_ that it's a trackin' device. I guess my real question is… why is there a trackin' device in my shoe?" The younger boy growled quietly.

"…In case anyone wants to kidnap you to get to me. I don't want anyone to hurt you. And I'm sure that if someone kidnaps you, they'll see how attractive you are and force you into sex. You are mine. Only _I_ am allowed to touch you like that."

"…Not t' mention the therapy I might need for _my_ response t' bein' raped," Joey added sarcastically.

Seto glanced around the room before nodding slightly to himself. "I'm going to escape now before you maul me."

"Like hell! I'm blockin' the only doo—_SETO! I'M NOT ANGRY ENOUGH TO KILL YOU! GET AWAY FROM THAT WINDOW!_"


	74. Therapy: T

Therapy

"—And he wants sex all the time. It's almost scary how much sex he needs! …I just heard somethin' about sex addicts on the news, though, so maybe Seto needs therapy too. Do you think he needs therapy?" Joey asked, leaning forward.

The doctor jotted down a few more notes before taking of his glasses and looking at him tiredly. "Do _you_ think your boyfriend needs therapy?"

"I've always thought he needed therapy! He says no, though, and I doubt I could make him go see a sex therapist either, unless I went with him, and then we'd probably end up having sex in the limo on the way there anyway," the blond mumbled, leaning his face on his hand. "And then on the way back, too…"

"…Joey, I was told that you have abandonment issues. Would you like to talk about those?"

Joey sat up straight and glared at him. "Seto said I had abandonment issues?!"

"…Well, him, and I think a few of your friends. Yugi, Tristan, and Téa _are_ your friends, correct?"

"…Well not anymore they're not!"

The doctor sighed. "Joey, calm down."

"Well, I don't have abandonment issues! I mean, sure, sometimes I get antsy when I think my friends are pulling away, but they always come back! And—"

"What about when you and Seto get into a fight and he sleeps in the guest room? What do you do then?"

Joey frowned. "…W-well, I try t' seduce him, but compared t' all the times he's jumped me—"

"But has he ever tried to have sex with you immediately after a fight?"

"…Well, no, he usually waits until after I've cooled down, and then we resolve it, and _then_ he jumps me—"

"Do you wait for him to cool down and resolve the fight before trying to seduce him?" the doctor asked, leaning back in his chair and jotting a few things down again.

Joey began fidgeting with his sleeves. "…W-well, no."

"Can you understand why your boyfriend might not like sex under those pretences then?"

"…Yeah, I guess, but…"

"After he refuses sex, what do you do?"

"…I start packin' 'cause I figure he's tired of me. But why shouldn't I? I mean, he's obviously angry at me and doesn't want me around—"

"Does he start packing when _you're_ angry and don't want him around, Joey?"

Joey frowned and trailed his index finger across his bottom lip thoughtfully. "…No."

"So why should you?"

"…Because the sex when he stops me is fantastic," the blond mumbled, blushing.

"…" The doctor raised an eyebrow, then sighed and grabbed another piece of paper, scribbling on it quickly. "I'm referring you to another therapist. This all leads back to sex with you two and I'm not a sex therapist. Go see her together, if you like."

Joey smiled brightly. "So I don't have abandonment issues then?"

"Oh hell yes you do. They're just overshadowed by all of the sex you have. Once you get this sex thing figured out, give me a call and we can try this again."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto looked up from his newspaper as the door opened and raised an eyebrow. "…Well, that didn't take long. How did it go?"

Joey frowned as he slid into the seat across from him. "…He wants us to go see a sex therapist because 'our sex overshadows my abandonment issues.' …Or somethin' like that."

"…So I just spent two hundred dollars to have you get sent to another therapist?" the brunet asked after a moment, scowling.

"_No,_ you just spent two hundred dollars to have _us_ get sent to another therapist. She's a sex therapist; we should see her together." Joey huffed when the older boy only blinked. "Well ya gotta admit, we have lots of sex under lots of kinky circumstances."

Seto frowned. "…That's normal, though."

"Well, if ya wanna fix my abandonment issues, then ya gotta go t' sex therapy with me," the blond stated, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat.

"…Fine. Let me check my schedule and we'll get started."

"Good. …Now get your pants off and we can be done by the time we get to the mansion."

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "…I thought we were calling a therapist for this."

Joey smiled sweetly. "Well, we gotta have somethin' t' tell her about, don't we?"

"I suppose, but—"

"ROAR!"

"Oh, _fuck._"


	75. Defensive Strike: T

Defensive Strike

Téa scowled as she saw her friend's eyes fill with hurt. Sometimes, Kaiba just didn't know when to quit. This was one of those times. And, as she saw those hurt brown orbs begin to shimmer with tears, she took matters into her own hands.

Seto blinked as the metal briefcase was suddenly yanked out of his hand but didn't have much time to think about it as he suddenly found it colliding with his skull. "Augh!"

"Yeah, how's that feel, you jerk?!" Téa exclaimed, lifting the briefcase to swing it at him again. "And that?! And _that!?_"

Yugi blinked, then hurriedly looked up at his blond friend. Joey's jaw had dropped, eyes wide; he couldn't honestly remember when he'd looked more horrified. Sighing, he turned and lifted his hands to cover his friend's eyes.

"Oh God! Jesus! Leave me be, demon woman!" Seto exclaimed angrily, only to whimper a little as she get in a good hit to his shoulder.

"Oh, oh, demon woman, am I?! And that's supposed to make me wanna _stop?!_"

"…Please stop beating my brother," Mokuba requested quietly, then hurriedly took a step back in fear as the brunette then turned her glare on him. "…Okay, just a few more times then."

Téa took a deep breath, then sighed and dropped the briefcase. Taking a moment to compose herself, she turned toward her friends, only to find Yugi covering Joey's eyes while Tristan merely blinked at her, stunned. "…Well, were we going to go to the arcade or not?"

"…You're a _monster,_" Seto mumbled, rubbing his head with a wince as he reached for the briefcase. "Demon bitch."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" she shrieked, spinning back to the two Kaiba brothers sharply.

Mokuba hurriedly grabbed the briefcase and took a few steps away, expression one of complete and utter terror. "It wasn't me!"

"…I don't _need_ that briefcase to beat the crap out of him," Téa stated coldly. "I can do a splendid job with just my fists."

"What did I even do to you?!" Seto exclaimed, glaring at her.

"You hurt Joey. Therefore, I had to make a defensive strike, since he was too hurt to do it himself. Now, run along," she ordered, waving her fingers in a dismissive manner. "I'm finished with you for today." She frowned when she realized Yugi was still covering the blond's eyes. "Joey, are you okay?"

"I will never be able to look at you the same way ever again," Joey stated quietly.

"Come on, Joey; I'll buy you a cookie or something," she cooed, taking one of his hands and patting it gently.

"…Okay…"

Yugi frowned. "Could you at least give us some warning so I have time to cover Joey's eyes next time? He has difficulty realizing that girls he usually tries to look out for can actually defend themselves. …The last time Mai decked a guy that groped her, he had nightmares for days."

"Girls are fucking _creepy,_" Tristan stated, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked after them.

"But now I'm buying him a cookie!" Téa exclaimed brightly. "Food solves everything for Joey!"

"Can I have a big cookie?" Joey asked quietly.

"You can have the biggest cookie we can find," she agreed, patting his hand again.

Mokuba watched them go with wide eyes, then hurriedly looked back down at his brother. "Seto, do you need me to call the doctor?"

"No, I'll just take some aspirin for this headache she gave me." The brunet sighed and rubbed his head again, then glanced up at him. "But if you want to call Roland and suggest that he hire some women for the security, that would be just grand."


	76. Ants on a Log: T

Ants on a Log

Joey's eye twitched. He tried to keep quiet, and when the two boys gave him a confused look, he slowly picked up one of the treats and lifted it toward his mouth. He stared at it for a moment, nose wrinkling as he saw the wrinkled black bodies lying unassumingly along the gooey brown mud that covered the green base. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, beginning to slide it into his mouth.

He got cold feet halfway through.

"I CAN'T DO IT!"

Seto blinked as he felt something hit him in the head, then turned to face the blond and raised an eyebrow as the peanut buttery celery bounced off his head and onto the table with a splat. "…No one _asked_ you to. Why did you throw that at me?"

"…I didn't throw it at ya, I just… kinda… flung it away…" the blond murmured, voice getting quieter as he shrank under the older boy's stare.

"Why do you hate celery so much, anyway?" Mokuba asked, frowning, as he pulled the raisins off of his treat and tossed it onto the plate.

Seto shot him a dirty look. "MOKUBA. EAT THE FUCKING RAISINS."

The fucking raisins were quickly retrieved and placed back on the peanut butter before he shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"I swear to God, every time you ask me to make these for you, you pick off the raisins. Why do you want the raisins if you don't like them?!" the brunet continued, glaring at him.

Mokuba frowned. "…Then it wouldn't be Ants on a Log."

"Why would that—I GIVE UP. Now, why have we suddenly found out about this animosity between you and celery?" he asked, turning back to the blond.

Joey smiled brightly. "You made these? And here I thought ya burned water!"

"I can handle a knife long enough to slop some peanut butter on some celery and sprinkle raisins on it," Seto deadpanned, glaring at him. "Your diversion tactic is foiled. Answer the question."

The blond frowned at that, then looked at the platter of peanut butter- and raisin-covered celery sticks. "…My ma always packed celery for my snack when I was a kid. When she took Serenity and left, the only thing she left in the refrigerator was a bag of celery. I ignored it; I didn't want it after what my mother had done. When I realized my dad wasn't gonna make meals for me, though, it was the only food in the house. I ate all of it in one sitting. I got sick because I'd let it sit for so long. I never forgave my mother. …And celery never tasted good after that," he explained quietly.

He jumped as he heard something shatter and looked up quickly. Mokuba had thrown the plate of his favorite snacks onto the floor and was storming out of the room. "Do not want!"

"…I… What was that?" Joey asked in confusion, looking up at the brunet.

Seto growled at the mess. "That was sympathy hatred. You hate celery; he hates celery. He'll be over it in a few months and begging me to make Ants on a Log." He paused, then sighed and waved his hand. "Go fetch me the broom."

The blond blinked. "…What about the maids?"

"It's Sunday, puppy. They don't work until tomorrow."

"…You're gonna kill yourself with that broom, ya know."

Seto snorted. "Please, how difficult could it be? Just because I've never broomed—"

"Swept."

"—Swept before doesn't mean I can't."

Joey frowned. "Seto, you just used the word 'broomed.' You're gonna kill yourself with it."

"Nonsense. Go get the broom."

The blond scowled. "Get it yourself."

Seto paused. "…I see. Touché, puppy."

"Sex would be more entertainin' anyway. So, come sex me," Joey replied, standing up and sashaying out of the kitchen.

The brunet blinked, stunned, as any thoughts of 'brooming' left his mind. "…Oh. Fuck."


	77. Puppy Angler: T

Author's Note: Why no, this doesn't make any sense to me! **:**D Glad you asked!

Puppy Angler

Joey sighed and gave the can he was playing with a small kick. When he went to kick it again, however, he paused when he saw something green poking out from under a newspaper. Hesitantly kicking the newspaper out of the way, he then gasped; someone had dropped a ten dollar bill!

FINDERS KEEPERS.

Reaching down quickly for the money-now-his, he let out a distressed cry as it slipped through his fingers. "What the-!" He eyed it warily; obviously, his adversary was skilled in the art of Pup Dodgery! He scowled, then roared and dove for it.

The bill flipped, flopped, and fluttered out from under him.

Taking that as a personal challenge, the blond roared and chased after it. The bill dodged each of his grabs, however, and he began to wonder if perhaps their relationship was not meant to be. Then it flipped upward, and he dove for it. "MINE!"

Seto raised an eyebrow at the blond sprawled across his lap and waved the bill slightly. "Were you talking about this?"

Joey blinked in confusion. "…Huh?"

"I figured it wouldn't be too hard to reel you in," the brunet commented, giving the fishing line he'd attached to the bill a small tug to show that the bill was not magical, but merely deceptive. "It worked surprisingly well."

"…Kaiba! What the hell!" Joey scurried to his feet, only to let out a yelp as the older boy wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back down, so he was straddling his lap. "Eep! W-w-what are ya doin'?!"

"Well, first I reeled you in—" Seto smirked and tucked the bill into the blond's pocket once he'd snipped off the fishing line. "—isn't it customary that the angler take his catch home and… eat it?"

"CATCH AND RELEASE! CATCH AND RELEASE!" Joey exclaimed, flailing about wildly.

The brunet paused thoughtfully. "…Well, I have caught you…" His thoughtful expression immediately turned into a feral smirk. "And I know we'll both get a release, so—"

The younger boy whimpered quietly. "W-where the hell did this come from, huh?"

Seto raised an eyebrow. "I can't be the only one that senses the sexual tension between us."

"Is that what that is?" Joey asked in surprise, eyes widening.

The brunet sighed and leaned his face in his hand in exasperation.


	78. Sex Talk: M

Author's Note: I must say, the creation of this chapter is all thanks to Academician. He gave me a conversation. I'm just fleshing it out. BE GRATEFUL AND BOW DOWN TO HIM! D**:** Or just smile in his general direction while you squeal at the hilarity.

Sex Talk

"Why are we here again?" Seto complained, leaning his head in his hand. "…And why are chairs in waiting rooms always so uncomfortable."

"Tch. Why do ya think I just barge into your office even when you're havin' a meeting?" the blond mumbled, then scowled and punched him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"And we're _here_ because we need t' deal with this before _I_ can deal with my so-called _abandonment issues—_"

"Joey, they're not 'so-called.' You _have_ abandonment issues; end of story," Seto stated, only to wince as he was punched in the arm again. "_OW!_"

"Ya better watch out or I'm gonna aim for your face next," Joey warned, shaking a fist at him.

The brunet scowled. "_You_ better watch it, or you're going to find yourself tied up for hours when we get home!"

"Mr. Wheeler, Mr. Kaiba, Dr. Lovelace will see you n—" The girl stopped when she noticed the two boys glaring at each other, then frowned. "…Am I interrupting something?"

Joey glared at the brunet a moment longer before sighing and standing up. "No. He was just being a jerk. …Come on!" he hissed, when he realized the other boy had made no attempt to stand up.

"I don't see why I have to be here."

"YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU LIKE YOUR PENIS WHERE IT IS."

"That is an excellent reason."

"O…kay…" The girl blinked at them for a moment before scurrying ahead; she knew a weird couple when she saw them. Once she'd seen them into the room that Dr. Lovelace was in, she made a dash for it. "I'm going on my lunch now byyye!"

Dr. Lovelace raised an eyebrow, then scowled and turned a sharp look on the two boys. "If I've just lost my secretary, I'll make sure neither of you have sex again. Do you know how hard it is to find good help?"

"Sorry," Joey said quickly, frowning. "Sometimes we just get carried away. You can call me Joey."

"Alright… Joey," she repeated, then looked down at her clipboard. "I've gotten a message from a very good friend of mine. He says you two have problems with sex."

Seto scowled. "There's no problem."

"…I think I want to talk to _Joey_ right now, Mr. Kaiba. Why don't you just… shut up and pay attention for a moment."

The brunet glared at her in affront, appalled by her audacity, then sighed and sat down, leaning his head in his hand again. "I want something delicious for dinner tonight."

"Whatever," the younger boy mumbled, rolling his eyes, before looking back up at her. "So whatta ya wanna know?"

She motioned for him to sit down as well as she made herself comfortable, peering at her clipboard. "I have a lot of information here from your therapist—the one that recommended me. He mentioned that you think your boyfriend is a sex addict?"

"Yes," Joey nodded, crossing his arms firmly. Seto shot him a glare.

"Okay. Has he ever, to your knowledge, been unfaithful?"

The blond looked horrified. "No!" Seto growled and turned his glare on her.

She ignored it with the finesse of a very experienced doctor and jotted down a note. "I see. Have you ever caught him looking at or admiring another in a sexual way?"

"No," the blond answered quietly, as he tilted his head. "But what does that hafta do with—"

"Has he ever pressured you into having sex?"

"Yes—no! …Yes. …Well…" Joey crossed his arms, frowning thoughtfully.

Dr. Lovelace raised an eyebrow, then sighed and made another note. "Let me make this simpler. Have you ever said 'no?'"

The blond's answer was prompt and decisive this time. "Yes."

"And did you have sex on those occasions?"

"Yes."

"Now think, Joey. Did you really mean 'no' on those occasions?"

The blond blushed. "Well, I—I suppose— …No."

Dr. Lovelace made another note on her clipboard. "I see. How often do you two have sex?"

"Maybe three times—it really depends on how tired Seto's feelin'— Look, what are ya tryin' t' get at, anyway?" Joey asked, blush darkening as he scowled at her.

She sighed quietly and stared at her notes for a moment before lifting her gaze to his again. "Perhaps the blame does not lie solely on Mr. Kaiba's shoulders. After all, it takes two to horizontally tango." Then, she looked back at her clipboard and made some more notes. …And a small doodle. And another little doodle at the top. After a moment, she looked back up at him. "…Don't be so surprised. You're a very hands-on person; if you _really_ didn't want to have sex, I'm sure you could reduce your boyfriend to a puddle of broken bones on the floor."

Seto snorted. "Gee, thanks."

"But—but that still doesn't explain why he wants it all the time!" the blond sputtered helplessly.

"…Joey, you're still young. You have lots of energy and curiosity that needs to be sated; believe me, when you get older, you won't be as adventurous _or_ as frisky."

Seto raised an eyebrow. "And how do you know—"

"Just trust me on that one," she ordered, shooting him a dirty look.

"…So why does he always say 'no' when he really wants it?" the brunet asked after a healthy pause—healthy for him, anyway; she still looked like she was ready to stab him.

"Well, considering Joey's blush, he has a very introverted sexuality. Thus, he likes it when someone else takes charge; it's just a fantasy that you fulfill. Repeatedly. On a daily basis," the doctor deadpanned. "A few other examples are with dominant and submissive roles, like master and servant, or captor and captive."

"Or master and puppy," the younger boy mumbled, shooting his lover a small glare.

Dr. Lovelace raised an eyebrow. "…If you're into that sort of thing, I suppose."

Joey blushed brightly. "Oh, no, wait! That's not what I—"

"You like what you like; I'm not here to judge," she replied, waving it away. "Just know that neither of you are addicts; you're simply young and frisky. Does that make you feel better?"

"Yes," Seto replied, then turned a smug smile on the blond. "See, I knew we were fine."

Joey huffed and crossed his arms, sinking down in his seat. "Sh-shut up!"

Dr. Lovelace turned to a clean page of paper. "So, Mr. Kaiba, would you like to discuss your need to always be in control of everything?"

"…Not really."

The blond shot him a dirty look, then glanced pointedly down at the other boy's crotch.

Seto cleared his throat and crossed his legs uncomfortably. "But I suppose I could talk about it anyway."


	79. Someday: K Plus

Someday

"Why don't you ever tell me anything?"

Seto was perplexed. His puppy was looking at him with a 'you've-kicked-me-you-heartless-monster-now-kiss-it-better' expression, eyes big and watery as he frowned at him. Despite always having a cool exterior when he was confused, the expression he was being attacked with made him break into a cold sweat.

Clearing his throat, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Ya know almost everything about me—my past in gangs, family problems, even why I act the way I do now. So… why don't I know anything about you?" Joey asked quietly, brows furrowing together to contort his face into a 'you've-kicked-me-you-heartless-monster-now-kiss-it-better-and-give-me-some-wuvins-or-it's-the-couch-for-you-tonight' expression.

Seto clenched his hands into fists violently, then sighed and forced himself to relax. "…What brought this on, puppy?"

"It's just… I don't really know anything about ya other than ya like Duel Monsters and your favorite color is blue." At this, the blond relaxed into a pathetic little puddle of despair that he knew would make the older boy feel even guiltier.

Seeing the helpless look of despair on the blond's face, the older boy opened his mouth, but nothing came out. What could he tell his puppy? What could he reveal about himself to quench his curiosity? What was he ready to come to terms with himself?

Joey frowned at the panicked expression he found on his lover's face, then crawled over to him and placed his hands on his face, drawing his gaze down to his own. "If you're not ready t' tell me, it's okay. I'll wait."

Seto dipped his head to crush his mouth in a rough kiss, digging his hands into the blond's hair. Breaking the kiss a moment later, he leaned their foreheads together and sighed. "I'm sorry, puppy. I'm so, so sorry. I want to tell you, I just…"

The blond brushed their lips together again, sighing quietly, then leaned forward and hugged him tightly. "Seto, it's okay. I know ya tried. That's all that matters now. Just… promise that you'll tell me someday?"

"…Someday," the older boy promised, hugging him back. "I'll tell you someday."


	80. Alarmed: K Plus

Alarmed

Joey scowled as he heard the alarm begin to ring and covered his head with a pillow. "Seto, turn it off." After a moment, he squinted out from under the pillow, then sighed when he saw that the brunet was dead to the world. He gave him a kick. "Seto! Turn it off!"

Seto mumbled and turned over, arm out to turn the alarm off.

Joey jumped as he heard a crunch and sat up quickly, stunned. When he saw the brunet's fist on top of the broken alarm clock, he couldn't help but stare. "…Oh my _gawd._"

Seto grabbed the power cord and yanked it out, then turned over, hooking his arm around the blond's waist and yanking him closer roughly. "Mine."

"Eep!" The younger boy blushed as he was crushed against the brunet's chest and squirmed a little. "Seto, we gotta get ready for school! 'nd I still hafta shower—_Eep!_" He squeezed his eyes shut as the older boy nuzzled closer, hiding his face in his neck as he curled around his body like a child with a teddy bear. Sighing quietly, he lifted his hand to stroke the brunet's hair. "…I guess we can both be late today."

"Mrrhm…" Seto snuggled closer. "Mm…"


	81. Show and Tell: M

Author's Note: Like, whoa. I mentioned something like this when I did _I Dream of Dragons?_, and I'm mentioning it again. POOR SETO. D**:** I mess him up so bad.

Show and Tell

"I was taught to have sex."

Joey's eyes fluttered open at that, frowning. "…Wha…?"

"I was taught to have sex," Seto repeated, pulling one of his hands out from behind his head to dig into the blond's hair. "You said you wanted to know more about me. So I'm telling you that I was taught to have sex."

"But…" The younger boy turned over and lifted his head, knocking the brunet's hand from his hair accidentally as he frowned at him. "…Seto, ya don't hafta…"

But Seto wasn't looking at him. "I was given a tutor for sexual education. He instructed me on how to pleasure both men and women. Then, I was tested. One night, I seduced a woman, and the next, a man. I passed with flying colors. …Sex… sex was never something to look forward to; just something to get ahead in business. Until I met you…"

Joey's brows furrowed together. "…Seto…" He paused, then grabbed the brunet's hand to lift it to his cheek, leaning into it and rubbing against it like an affectionate puppy. "Seto…"

"…I didn't want to just seal a deal with you, make you another notch on my belt. I wanted to make you feel good. I wanted you to make _me_ feel good. And you were a virgin then, not tainted with expectations of pain or pleasure or anything. I love making love to you. I love that I can do what _I_ want to make you feel good, not what I was taught. And I love that you're so clumsy and inexperienced when you touch me compared to how I used to be touched. It makes me… it makes me happy. I know that no one corrupted you like they corrupted me." Finally, he turned his gaze back to the blond, smiling a little. "You're so cute, nuzzling me like a puppy."

Joey turned his head to press a kiss to his palm. "I love you." When he felt the brunet's hand still, he leaned down to press a kiss on his chest, trailing up to his collarbone, then to his neck, not only telling him but showing him that he still loved him despite what he'd been told. "I love you." He paused to pay particular attention to his throat, nibbling it as he slid his hand down his body slowly. "I love you."

"Mm… Puppy…" Seto moaned quietly and dipped his head to catch his lips. Breaking the kiss gently, he nuzzled into his mop of hair, chuckling quietly. "I love you, too. Thank you, puppy."

"…Please do _not_ drop anymore bombshells like that while I'm baskin' in the afterglow of some awesome sex," the blond requested quietly, laying his head back on the older boy's chest. "Especially when it's such an intense subject. I need t' be completely awake for those."

The brunet smiled a little as he watched the younger boy drift off to sleep, then leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "Thank you, puppy."


	82. Timing: T

Timing

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

Joey looked up from the cake batter he was mixing and frowned, asking himself a question he found himself asking a lot now that he'd moved into the Kaiba household: did he really want to know?

Unfortunately, he was not given the joy of making a decision and keeping his innocence, as then Mokuba was stomping into the kitchen, scowling. "Joey! You will not _believe_ what Seto said to my teacher!"

Joey frowned. "Do I want to know what he said to your teacher?"

"It's the class I have an F in!"

"It was a perfectly appropriate question!" Seto exclaimed, stomping into the kitchen as well.

"…Alright, hit me," the blond sighed.

Mokuba took a deep breath to try and calm himself. "…Well. We were just sitting down, and my teacher had _just_ introduced herself, and he said, 'have you ever thought that the reason he may be failing is because you suck?'"

The brunet scowled. "I fail to see how that's inappropriate."

"YOU MADE HER CRY," the younger of the two snarled, glaring at him. "You could have at least waited until the end of the conference to hurt her feelings like that!"

Joey sighed as the younger boy stormed out, then turned to give the brunet a small glare of his own. "Ya asked her that _right_ after she introduced herself?"

Seto frowned. "I just wanted to get the question out of the way."

The blond sighed and leaned his head in his hand. "…Seto…"

"Was I wrong?"

"YES." The younger boy shot him a dirty look. "Ya need to learn better timin', Seto."

The brunet blinked at him for a moment, thinking over what he'd just been told. Joey actually had the cake batter done and poured into the pan when he finally got a response.

"…This is like that time when you were talking to your friends and I told you I wanted to buy you a collar, isn't it?"

"YES." Joey blushed and forced down the urge to punch him again (as that had been his response the first time he'd said it).

Seto frowned. "…Or like when we were sitting in my office discussing a new tournament and I mentioned that we should have sex on the desk sometime?"

"YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF TIMING!" the blond roared, spinning toward him. "Maybe, if you'd asked me privately, I would've agreed t' the collar! Maybe, if you'd waited until the end of the conversation, I would've agreed t' sex on the desk! MAYBE, IF YOU'D WAITED UNTIL THE END OF THE CONFERENCE, YA WOULDN'T HAVE MADE AN ASS OUT OF YOURSELF AND EMBARASSED YOUR LITTLE BROTHER!"

Seto tilted his head skeptically. "…I fail to see how—"

"That's just _it_, Seto. YOU FAIL AT SOCIAL NORMS!"

"…Fine. I shall go apologize to his teacher right now." The brunet huffed. "I still don't see what timing has to do with anything, but I'll go apologize."

"Take Mokuba with ya t' make sure ya apologize correctly," Joey ordered, sliding the cake into the oven. "Because ya fail at those, too."

Seto sighed and rolled his eyes, turning to leave. "_Fine._ MOKUBA, WE'RE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL."

"SHE WON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN SO MEET ME AT THE CAR."

Joey seriously thought about asking Seto to move into a smaller house; it was sort of embarrassing to have to yell at other people all the time.


	83. Limber: T

Limber

Seto trailed his fingers over the blond's side and smiled a little, then glanced down at the leg he'd flung over his side when he'd cuddled up to him. He was well aware that Joey was flexible, but he had no idea how he managed that while still being so strong. He traced his fingers up the blond's thigh thoughtfully, hiking it up a little further.

Joey mewled quietly and squirmed closer to him, then blinked his eyes open slowly. After a moment, he peered up at the brunet tiredly. "…You should be asleep, Set'."

"I was just thinking." The brunet smiled a little. "Sorry if I woke you."

The younger boy yawned adorably before peering up at him through sleep eyes. "Okay, hit me. What's keepin' ya awake?"

"…I was just wondering how you were so flexible. Are you naturally this flexible?"

The blond hummed and pressed up against him. "Mmn, no. After my ma left—before my dad lost his job and went completely off the deep end—he used t' take me to a nanny. She used t' be a ballet teacher, and when I complained 'bout bein' bored, she'd make me practice ballet for her, since she was too arthritic t' do it. When I complained about it bein' girly, she mentioned that bein' flexible might help in a fight, 'cause most guys just muscle up and depend on thick skulls t' keep from bein' knocked senseless." He yawned again. "She was right. When I was wigglin' out of fights and dodgin' punches, the other guys just stood there and took it. So, I'm really limber. Or whatever the word she used was."

Seto raised an eyebrow. "Do you still remember some steps?"

"_NO._"

"…Just a few—"

"_GO DIE._"

"…I'll pay for a trip for you and your friends to Kaiba Land."

"I suppose I could scrounge up _some_ memory of what she had me do."

"That's what I thought."


	84. Shut Up and Dye: T

Author's Note: I've noticed that about a handful of people (say six or seven) have been wondering why I always make Joey bottom. "Surely they must switch it up?" you say. Well, I'm sure they do. ELSEWHERE. You will not see a seme Joey in any of my stories. In my opinion, Seto's had too many control issues in the past (*cough* GOZABURO AND A RIDING CROP HELLO DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT?! *cough*) to give any of his control up now. And, since I believe Joey has been abused and hurt by his only family, he's willing to be bottom for Seto. And yes, I assume he's been abused, because in the manga, HIS FATHER THROWS A BEER BOTTLE AT THE DOOR WITH THE INTENT TO HURT WHOEVER IS COMING INSIDE. It's safe to assume that he believes it is Joey.

So, sorry if you were looking for some seme!Joey and uke!Seto. You will not be finding it here. You may see a demanding uke once in a while, but I mostly write humor, and I like the personality styles of these two for humorous scenes. These are aimed to amuse me and I choose to share them with you.

Pardon my shouting. Not that it's any of your BUSINESS why I like Seto on top and Joey on bottom. I'm not offended that you asked, and I'm not angry about answering, but was it really any of your business in the first place? I mean, _I_ don't ask people about _their_ personal preferences. I'm just putting that out there for your introspection. Also, sorry if this may _appear_ vicious; I'm just a little concerned because many people have asked me this, and I figure they should have read enough of my stories to find out that I write SetoxJoey, not JoeyxSeto.

Shut Up and Dye

"He's gonna kill us."

"Shut up and dye, Mokuba."

Mokuba sighed, then hesitantly grabbed the bottle of dye that was being brandished at him. He looked down at his brother's white dress shirt—one of the shirts he wore to _work_—and bit his bottom lip, then closed his eyes and squirted randomly. When he opened his eyes, he gasped in horror at one he'd done. "OHMYGOD I'VE KILLED IT!"

"…Mokuba, you used _red dye,_" the blond deadpanned, then huffed and began dousing the white leather trench coat that his lover coveted so much with green dye. "Fuckin' bastard, thinkin' he can just put _me_ off—"

"He had no control over the weather. And especially not over a volcano. It's not his fault all flights were grounded."

"No, but it _is_ his fault that the meeting lasted a week _longer_ than it should have! Fuckin' _bastard._"

"…He's gonna kill us," Mokuba muttered, sighing in distress.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto groaned as he heard the alarm going off and glanced over his shoulder. His lover was curled up in a ball, huddling close with the blankets, and all around ignoring both him and the blaring clock. Sighing quietly, he reached over him and turned the alarm off, then brushed a kiss against the blond's temple before he got out of bed.

Joey hadn't even wanted to see the souvenirs he'd brought him.

Making up his side of the bed a little, he placed the gifts on the blankets before going to take a shower.

Joey sat up a little and turned to look after him, scowling, before his eyes landed on the different boxes and bags the brunet had gotten for him. At that, he began feeling a little guilty; he'd learned that when Seto felt like a bad lover for staying away so long, he bought things—it was therapy for him when his puppy wasn't there.

He looked toward the door and frowned even more when he saw the steam crawling out from under the door. Seto had really missed him. And he hadn't even given him a 'welcome back' hug.

AND HE'D DYED ALL OF HIS WHITE WORKCLOTHES!!!

He had to have missed one! He could put it on the bed as a sort of peace offering, and Seto wouldn't have to look in the closet and see all of his other dyed shirts—or the dyed trench coat he'd made sure to put in front! Beginning to sit up, he flinched as he heard the water stop running.

He'd never be able to find one in time. Especially because he knew he'd grabbed _all_ of them. So, he curled up into a ball and pretended he was asleep again.

He listened to the door open, the slow footsteps to the closet. There was a long, long pause then.

"…Son of a _bitch._"

Joey shuddered as he heard the brunet stomping back to the bed and prepared to be thrown out of bed and out of the house, at least until Seto calmed down and had bought more shirts and a new trench coat. He flinched as he heard the brunet sweep all of the gifts off of the bed and then something shatter. Then the brunet stormed out.

Sitting up slowly, he turned to look at the floor on the other side of the bed. The gifts were on the floor. A snow globe had shattered on the floor.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto scowled as he heard his door open but didn't look up. "What do _you_ want?"

"…World Peace?"

At that, he looked up, frowning a little when he saw the blond's smaller body curled around a package in his arms and was peering up at him from beneath his bangs, looking like a repentant puppy that had done something bad on the rug. He sighed and turned his gaze away immediately; he wanted to stay mad for a while, and he couldn't do that when he saw how bad his lover felt. But this time, he knew he was right! He had _not_ deserved having all of his work shirts being dyed—and his _trench coat!_

"…I don't know if I can offer you world peace," he replied shortly, then scribbled his signature across another report.

"…Okay," Joey answered quietly, body shrinking even further in disappointment. He hadn't really expected it to be that easy. "…Well, I'll just leave this here then." He hesitated, then set the package on the desk and turned to leave.

Seto sighed when he saw it was a package of white dress shirts and leaned his head in his hand. "Wait."

The blond paused, then bit his bottom lip. "…Yeah?"

"…I can't give you world peace. I can tell you, however, that… I accept your apology."

Joey smiled a little despite the tears forming in his eyes. "…I really _am_ sorry, Seto."

"…I know you are, puppy. We'll talk about it when I get home, okay?"

"Okay." The blond hesitated before quietly adding, "I just wanted t' say… Mokuba didn't wanna do it."

"Of course he didn't. He's smarter than you are," Seto replied, turning back to his work. "I'll try and get home early, puppy. I expect all of those monstrosities out of my closet by the time I get home. You don't have to by me anymore shirts, just… get rid of all the ruined ones."

"Okay." Joey fidgeted for a moment before rushing over to him and throwing his arms around his neck. "I really missed you!"

Seto sighed. "…I know. You dyed all of my white clothes in revenge for staying away so long."

"Where'd ya get this one, anyway?"

"I walked in without one and got a fresh shirt from the stash I keep here in case I stained mine here. It's just in case, mind you—and luckily, this was a case." He turned and nuzzled into the younger boy's hair before giving him a comforting pat on the back. "I'm not mad anymore, puppy. Go home and stop feeling badly. Okay?"

Joey frowned. "…Well, I'll try…" He paused, then smiled a little. "I'll see ya when ya get home, Seto."

"That you will," the brunet agreed, before taking his arm from around him and turning back to his work. "I'll see you later, puppy."

The younger boy's smile grew; he could see that he was forgiven now. "Okay. See ya later then."


	85. Thievery: T

Author's Note: YEAH, I have no idea where this idea came from, just fyi.

Thievery

"So, now that I've caught you, what _are_ you going to do?"

Joey trembled a little as the brunet circled him, holding the jar in his arms closer as he turned to continue facing him. "…Dunno. Depends 'n what _you_ do."

"Oh, so running when I caught you in my home isn't enough? Now I have to help you make your escape a second time?" Seto asked, raising an eyebrow, as he came to a stop. He crossed his arms and eyed him skeptically, then glanced down at the jar in his arms. "…So. Why do you need my powdered dragons' milk? I had to pay a friend dearly for that—nearly half my horde. Women are sort of sensitive about things that personal. A little dog like you would never be able to pay me back for it."

Joey hugged the jar closer, slinking over to the corner of the alley he'd inadvertently trapped himself in. "…'s why I stole it, stupid."

The brunet smirked and took a few steps closer, pressing a hand against the wall and getting much too close for the younger boy's comfort. "Oh, I realized that. The question is… why? Just so I know whether I should break every one of your bones or just some of them," he added, smirk growing as the blond immediately tried to shrink even further away.

"…Need 'em fer my sister. She's sick, 'nd the healer said she needs powdered dragons' milk or she'll die." Joey gasped quietly as the brunet cupped his chin and jerked his head upward, then began to tremble again when his blue eyes stared into his intensely. "…W-what are ya gonna do t' me?" His eyes filled with tears against his will. "If you're gonna kill me, c'n I at least take some of this t' my sister?"

Seto frowned. "…Puppy, I'm not going to kill you. It will only feel like it."

"Aha-!" The blond sobbed weakly as the older boy's other hand reached down and cupped his crotch. "_God!_"

"Thievery is punishable by having one of your hands cut off, depending on the value of what you've stolen; the magistrate may decide that some time in jail will do you good. I propose a less… severe punishment." He smirked. "I've noticed how pretty you are. You'll come to my house, put on one of the dresses my maids wear, and clean. For each day you come, I'll give you a teaspoon of powdered dragons' milk," he suggested, gently pulling the clay jar from the blond's arms.

Joey frowned. "That's a lot of work for just one teaspoon…"

"Powdered dragons' milk is _very_ powerful, puppy. If you gave her more than a teaspoon a day, her heart might just give out. Your healer didn't explain it very well to you, did he?" Seto ruffled his hair before turning away. "You start tomorrow. Be at my home at eight sharp. I'll let you leave at eight in the evening; I'll even feed you between then. I'll tell you more about powdered dragons' milk and how you should use it to help your sister when you collect your payment each day."

The blond tilted his head a little in confusion. "…Why? I stole from ya, and you're just lettin' me…"

Seto turned back to him and smirked again. "Pup, I plan to seduce you once your sister is fully healed and you no longer need this. I'd give you pounds of powdered dragons' milk if it meant having you writhe beneath me."

Joey squeaked in embarrassment before giving him a venomous glare. "Like hell I'll ever let ya fuck me! I'll be at yer house, tomorrow, ya bastard, but I won't enjoy any of it and I _refuse_ your food!"

"You'll eat if I tell you to eat, if you want your milk. In fact, until your sister is healed, you'd do best to follow all of my orders," the brunet replied, turning to walk away again. "I suppose if you want to keep working for me, I'll find another way to pay you; ten pieces of gold per day should do it, yes?"

The blond could only stare as he turned a corner and disappeared from sight. He had gotten a job—a well paying job, nonetheless! And the man he'd be working for was willing to teach him about the medicine his sister needed to live! This failed attempt at thievery had actually turned out pretty profitable!

Okay, so he wasn't sure about that whole 'when you're sister's okay, I'm fucking you and you'll like it' thing, but he just couldn't see the brunet as a rapist; he might try, but if he really saw that Joey had no interest in having sex with him, he'd probably stop. At least, that's what Joey sensed, and he was pretty good at reading people.

Ten gold a day! He had to go tell Serenity!

Scampering back toward the lower-class side of town, Joey felt as if life was looking up for his tiny family for the first time in years. It had been a hard few years after his mother had walked out and his alcoholic father had died. Perhaps this was the help they needed to get back on their feet.


	86. Horror: T

Horror

"…I can't do it!" Joey exclaimed, covering his face in frustration. "…I'm sorry, guys. I know ya wanted lobster t'night, but they just keep lookin' at me—"

THUNK.

Joey let out a short scream and leapt backward. "Mokuba!"

Mokuba lifted the knife out of the lobster he'd beheaded and slammed it into the second one.

THUNK.

"OH MY GOD SETOOOOO!" the blond wailed, running over to hide his face in the older boy's chest. "Your brother is a monster!"

Seto sighed and wrapped his arms around him, petting his head gently in an attempt to calm him. "It's okay, puppy. Calm down."

THUNK.

"_SETOOOOOO!_"

"What do you want me to do about it, puppy? It's too late now!" the brunet exclaimed helplessly. He rubbed the younger boy's back and sighed again.

Mokuba rolled his eyes and set the knife back on the counter. "Why don't you just arrange their funerals then, you _girl._"

"I'm not a girl!" Joey snarled, turning to glare at him.

The younger Kaiba sniffed in disdain. "Well you sure _act_ like one. Whatever; if you're not making dinner, I'm calling for pizza."

The blond glared at him with a little more venom. "Fine, I'll cook 'em, ya little brat. Only 'cause I don't want 'em t' come back t' life and kill us in our sleep! I swear t' God, lobsters everywhere will be at our door for VENGEANCE!"

"Pft, please."

"And you will be the first to have his balls snapped off by their giant claws," Joey growled, stomping back over to the lobsters. "They were still _alive_ and blinkin' at me and ya just _murdered_ 'em. You _monster._"

Seto sighed again and leaned his head in his hand. "…I'm… going to go take a nap. Will you two be okay in here?"

"We'll be fine until the lobster uprising," the blond muttered, then threw the lobsters into the pot that had been waiting for them.

"…Joey, I highly doubt—"

Joey's eyebrow twitched as he turned around and roared, "SHUT UP AND GET OUT!"

Both of the Kaibas scampered out of the kitchen with all the dignity they could.


	87. Cough Cough: T

Author's Note: REIZBAR-OOKAMI IS SICK. D**:** So yeah, if you hadn't noticed, I take my sickly anger out on Seto and Joey.

Cough Cough

Seto scowled at the small cocoon of blankets that was his lover. First, when he'd realized that Joey had a slight fever and the nastiest cough ever (coupled with a runny nose that the blond had insisted he didn't have), he'd wanted to stay home and take care of him.

Joey had immediately put the kibosh on that one when he'd pointed out that babying him included feeding him, and he couldn't cook to save his life. So, when he'd gotten home, he'd planned on spending time with his pup, to try and cheer him up. Joey had insisted he do some work, however, so they could spend more of the weekend together. When he'd finished signing some reports he'd been putting off, it was time for bed—and HE HADN'T GOTTEN HIS GOODNIGHT KISS.

This was unacceptable.

Joey squeaked in complaint as the brunet hooked an arm around his waist and pulled him close, then squirmed. "S-Sedoh! I'm sick! I don' wadda give you by cohd!" He mewed quietly as the older boy began brushing kisses across his throat, then hurriedly shoved him away and covered his mouth with his hand, coughing violently. This didn't seem to faze his lover, however, as Seto was nuzzling and nipping his earlobe a second later. "Se-! *cough* _Sedoh!_"

Once the coughing fit had passed, he finally caught the blond's lips, brushing his hair out of his face as he tried to pry the younger boy's lips apart.

"Mn-! _No!_" Joey snapped, shoving him away. "I'm _sick!_ You'll get sick, doo!"

"Don't care. You wouldn't let me take care of you all day and I'll be _damned_ if you get away without letting me have my goodnight kiss," Seto mumbled, then forced the blond to tuck his head under his chin. "Now be still."

"…Bud… Bud I'm godda get you sick doo," the blond whimpered. "You're nod pledant when yer sick."

"I don't care if I'm not pleasant. You can kick my ass for it later."

Joey huffed. "Fine, I will. …Sedoooh, I'm doo hooooooood," he whined, pushing him away again. "Yer godda bake be all sweady…!"

"You're already all sweaty, now stop pushing me away and shut the hell up."

"Sedoooh!"

"I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KISS YOU AND GET SICK JUST TO SPITE."

"…Mmf." Joey huffed again but curled up against him without anymore resistance.


	88. Cougar: T

Author's Note: …WHAT. THE FUCK. I have no idea where the hell this idea came from at ALL. So yeah… think whatever you will. It's mostly Blue-Eyes/Red-Eyes, but there might be a hint of puppyshipping at the end. HONESTLY, WHAT THE HELL.

Cougar

"_**Master…"**_

Seto lifted the edge of the jacket he'd covered his head with and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Kisara?"

"…_**Shira is the youngest of all three of us, and she's still a few centuries older than Akai. Does that, in fact, make us cougars?"**_

Seto snorted and let his jacket fall back over his head. "Girls, I'm trying to sleep. Can't you wait until some other time to ask me inane questions?"

"_**Are cougars frowned upon?"**_ Shira questioned, totally disregarding his wishes. _**"Are we considered cradle robbers for trying to seduce Akai?"**_

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION THANK YOU."

Aoi frowned thoughtfully. _**"It's not as if he's unreceptive to our overtures. In fact, he seems to enjoy it when we flirt with him."**_

"WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?"

"_**The apprentice magician mentioned that Akai preens himself when he hears we're coming, so he must believe that we're worth some effort."**_

"_**Yes, and it's nice to have someone preen before we arrive; most males haven't had a bath in weeks."**_

Shira frowned and brought a claw to her chin thoughtfully. _**"I wonder why we never meet him near his home? He has a master—that cute little blond. Do you suppose he's frightened of our disapproval?"**_

Aoi's scaly brows furrowed together. _**"Come to think of it, we haven't seen much of his master lately. I think I saw him once, in the fringe of trees nearby, but he was gone as soon as I went to take a second look. Could the reason Akai never agrees to be our mate possibly be that Joey disapproves of us?"**_

Shira and Kisara gasped. But it _did_ help explain why the black male never answered a firm yes or no to being their mate.

Seto sighed loudly. "FINE. We'll go to Wheeler's house. Just please stop talking about this!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"_**You know… if he was worried about our disapproval of his home… I think he had a reason to be,"**_ Shira stated after a moment, frowning.

Kisara hissed at her. _**"Shh! What if he's here and hears you?"**_

Seto rubbed the back of his head and frowned, eyeing the tiny shack in confusion. He hadn't realized that someone that was in the company of a dragon could live in such poverty. "…Well, I can see why we never meet them here. …It's custom that the dames move to the sire's home, after all…"

"_**It looks like rubbish!"**_ Aoi exclaimed. _**"How does Akai live in rubbish and still look so clean?"**_

Shira gasped quietly. _**"Maybe that's why Akai's master hid when he realized you saw him! He can't preen as quickly as Akai can! He didn't want you to see him so dirty!"**_

"Shira, humans don't preen…"

The three females and their human friend flinched as they heard a pair of gasps behind them, then slowly turned.

Joey stared at them in horror, then ducked his head quickly, hiding his eyes with his hair. "…'s polite t' tell someone you're comin' over, 'stead of just bargin' in," he stated after a moment, then trudged past them.

Akai ducked his head as well and squirmed between Aoi and a tree, mumbling a quiet 'excuse me' as he went but not saying anything else. Once the blond had ensconced himself in the little shack, he curled himself around it carefully before laying his wings across the roof.

Shira leaned toward her sisters and whispered, _**"He doesn't even have any place to sleep!"**_

Kisara slapped her on the side with her tail sharply. _**"Shut up, Shira!"**_

Seto hesitated before walking up to the black dragon. "…So, what were you doing?"

"_**Digging out a cave so we can both fit in it when winter comes,"**_ Akai replied shortly. _**"A little family of foxes had claimed it since last winter and we had to enlarge it so that they have their own little den inside of ours; it will keep them as warm as it will us."**_

"You… You know you're welcome to stay at my home; we have spare rooms in the house for Joey, and a place in the nesting barn for you."

"_**Why? We don't need your pity; we can take care of ourselves. Please leave; it's going to rain soon, and I don't need any of you getting the flu to rest on my master's conscience."**_

Shira opened her mouth to argue, but Aoi and Kisara were old enough to know when to quit, so they both curled their tails around her and began dragging her away as quickly as they could, leaving the brunet to follow on his own.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto paused as he heard someone knock on the door, then sighed and called out, "I've got it!"

"Okay!" Mokuba replied.

The brunet knew that the younger boy had had no intention whatsoever of ever getting the door.

Rolling his eyes, Seto sighed again before pulling the door open. "Can I help yoooo… Joey."

"…Kaiba," the blond greeted, nodding once.

"It must have taken a death in the family to get you up here; the girls have been depressed that you and Akai won't even accept their wishes to visit. He never did give them a yes or no."

Joey flinched and took a step back. "That… that's why I'm here."

The brunet raised an eyebrow and leaned in the doorway. "Oh? I'm listening."

"…I… Akai is sick and I can't take care of him, so…" The younger boy hesitated before bowing quickly. "Akai has no home with me." He paused as he stood up straight again, keeping his head down so his bangs covered his eyes. "…He's always wanted to tell them yes."

Seto saw a tear slide down his cheek before he turned and ran. He had every intention of following him, but his attention was arrested by a bunch of frightened squeals. Turning, he found the three female dragons poking and prodding the black one; his eyes were glazed over and his breathing was shallow. Akai needed his attention right now. He'd go after Joey later.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey shivered and pulled his blanket closer; it was raining again, but he didn't have Akai to cover the roof to keep it from leaking anymore. So, he could only huddle in his blanket and stare at the tiny fire he'd managed to keep going.

Well, until his flimsy door was kicked open.

Looking up quickly, the blond only had enough time to cry out as he was slung over someone's shoulder before he was carried out of his little 'house.' "Ack! What the hell—"

"—Akai has no home with you—_You_ have no home with you! This is turning into a hurricane pretty quickly, and your little _shack_ would blow away with you in it—"

"K-Kaiba! Put me down! I don't need your chari—_ty!_" Joey yipped as he was given a sharp spank. "Owie! Kaiba! W-w-what the hell—"

Seto gave him another spank before walking over to Kisara and ducking beneath the wing she was holding out to keep them dry. "Don't make me take you over my knee, mutt. If you think I'm going to let you stay out here where bandits could attack you any day without Akai there to protect you, you're fucking crazy," he snapped.

"_**What he's trying to say is that he'd like you to share his bed with him since it's terribly large and lonely without someone to help him keep it warm,"**_ Kisara added, peeking under her wing at them.

Joey blushed when the brunet didn't correct her. He squealed and blushed even more when he only seemed to affirm it by giving his ass a squeeze. "_Eek!_"

"_**Now that you're here, though, I'd like to ask you a question,"**_ she continued, still peering at him. _**"Would you say that my sisters and I are cougars, since we're all older than Akai?"**_


	89. Messed Up: T

Messed Up

"No, really, sis. Ya need t' see this t' prove I'm not crazy and Kaiba really _is_ that messed up," Joey stated firmly, dragging her over to the table that the brunet was sitting at his with his cup of coffee and his laptop—and a piece of cake that the server had brought out and told him was complimentary, even though she was just trying to get his attention to be able to flirt with him. However, the coffee had been refilled three times and the cake was untouched.

Serenity frowned. "Are you sure we should be bothering him, big brother? He looks really busy."

"Oh, please, it's fine! I bother him all the time!" the blond replied cheerfully, flashing her a smile, before they finally came to a stop beside the table. He slammed the lid of the laptop down and smiled brightly at the disgruntled businessman. "Hi, Kaiba!"

"Mutt. …Mutt's sister," he added, nodding to her (and, Joey noticed with a sense of satisfaction, at least treating her with more respect than he actually gave him). "What the hell do you want?"

"Well! I was just tellin' Serenity somethin', but she wouldn't believe me! So, if someone close in the family died and I missed registration for one of your tournaments, would you still let me in?"

Seto scowled. "No."

"Ha! I told you," Joey stated, grinning triumphantly.

Serenity frowned at him. "But Mr. Kaiba, what if it was Mokuba?"

"Then there wouldn't be a tournament because I would have killed myself soon after I learned he was dead," the brunet replied.

She waited to see that he was joking. When he merely stared at her seriously, she realized he was not. "That's horrible!"

"What else has he got to live for? He's got no friends," Joey stated, brows furrowing together in confusion.

"!" Serenity mouthed at her brother wordlessly. She had no idea he could be so insensitive!

"…If that's all you were going to ask, please leave," Seto ordered, opening his laptop again.

The blond shrugged and sat down in the seat across from him, patting the seat next to him to get her to sit down as well. "Well, if you aren't going to eat this cake, someone should; waste not, want not, and all that crap."

"You would know about that, wouldn't you, mutt?" the brunet sneered, then glanced up as the waitress that had tried to flirt with him came back to refill his coffee. "Would you bring two cups of hot cocoa, please? And whatever… sweet this girl would like," he added, waving in Serenity's general direction. Then he went back to typing.

The waitress sighed and rolled her eyes, then turned her attention back to the confused looking girl sitting across from what she liked to call the Asshole Businessman and next to the Happy Puppy. "Should I just bring you what your brother is having?"

"…Yes please," Serenity answered after a moment.

Then, she began to examine the two boys she was sitting with. Every once in a while, the brunet would glance up at them—hurriedly looking back at his computer screen when he realized she was looking. And Joey—sweet, loving, _oblivious_ Joey—would peer up at him from beneath his bangs when he wasn't looking. Then, he'd take a moment to slowly lick some frosting from his finger. The rhythmical typing would falter, just for that moment of not-even-barely-there erotic hinting, then restart as if nothing happened.

"…You two are so messed up," she stated after a minute. "This is the most sick, twisted form of flirting I've ever seen."

Joey blinked at her in confusion. "…Flirting?"

Seto raised an eyebrow. "…Wrong."

"I don't care what either of you say. You're flirting, and you're both so messed up that you don't even realize it!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration.

The waitress, coming back with two mugs of cocoa and one plate of cake, sighed and set them down in front of the two newly arrived teens. "Sweetie, you haven't even seen them do this once a week for the last few months. It's almost painful." Then, she swept away to another table.

Serenity was appalled. "You've been meeting each other here for a few months? And you _still_ don't realize you're flirting?"

"…All I do is eat his cake!" the blond exclaimed, frowning.

"Don't think I don't see the looks you give each other!" she snapped, glaring at him. "I'd have to be blind again to miss those! Do you think I'm stupid, Joey!"

"…!" Joey could only stare, horrified.

Serenity glared at him a moment longer before hearing her name being called. Turning, she smiled brightly as she saw a friend from school and waved. "Hey, Ichigo!" She grabbed the mug of cocoa and the plate of cake and made to go sit with her friend, but she turned back to the two teens for one last venomous glare. "You're both failures at life and at flirting. You deserve each other."

Seto raised an eyebrow, then turned back to his computer. "Yeah, whatever."

"…Wait, what just happened?" Joey asked after a moment, confused.

"I'll tell you when you're older, puppy. For now, just… enjoy your cake."

"…But—"

"Would you like another piece?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

Seto turned toward another passing waitress. "Another piece of cake for my dog, please."

At that, the adorably confused expression disappeared in place of an angry glare. "KAIBA!"


	90. Midnight Run: T

Author's Note: I just thought I'd warn you right now: Seto's pretty out of character here. Honestly, though, I can't imagine that he'd react any other way; there's a reason that Mokuba is a boy. **:3** Personally, I feel sorry for Téa and Mokuba's nameless friend in this chapter than I ever do for Seto. Mostly Mokuba's nameless friend, though. Could you imagine having to tell your friend's standoffish older brother that you need some pads? Personally, I'd be mortified.

Midnight Run

'_Wings? Why would—why do they need __**wings?**__ How could that __**possibly**__ make them function any better? And what—what about scents? "Fresh?" "Flowery?" Why would they need scents? Who was smelling them there? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.'_

"Kaiba?"

Seto turned, startled to hear a voice he recognized. "…Mutt?"

Joey normally would have been offended, but he was too confused to care; the brunet had no female relatives, and so should not be down this aisle. "…What are you doing?"

"…Mokuba's having a sleepover. As I was going toward my bedroom at about eleven, one of the girls staying over said that her Aunt Flo had come to visit unexpectedly. I asked if she needed to go home. She said no, but some feminine hygiene products would be greatly appreciated. But, all of the maids had gone home, none of the other girls are old enough to have an Aunt Flo, and she would have felt embarrassed if I had to take her home. So… here I am. …Why are _you_ here?" Seto frowned in confusion. From what he knew (which was quite a lot, because he'd had a private investigator tail the blond for a while), the blond's female relative did not live with him, so he had no reason to be down this aisle either.

"Well, we were havin' a movie night at Yug's, and Téa came out of the bathroom and pulled me aside and asked me if I'd pretty please do a Midnight Run for her. So, here I am." Joey frowned. "…Kaiba, it's goin' on twelve-thirty. How long have ya been standin' here?"

"…An hour," the brunet admitted quietly, turning back to face the wall of feminine… things.

…Normally, he would have laughed, but Seto looked so lost, and he could just imagine how embarrassed Mokuba's friend must have been explaining to Seto that Aunt Flo was not a real person and in fact a female bodily function. He could laugh at him later. Right now, he needed help.

"…How old is she, Kaiba?"

"Twelve. …Ish." Seto's brows drew together. "…I think. Is that important? OH MY GOD. Do I have to pick something based on _age?_"

Joey reached out to grab his arm quickly. "No! No, Kaiba, it's not based on age. Calm down. I just needed to know her age so I'd be able to help you."

"What do wings do? Do twelve-year-olds need wings? WHY DOES SOMEONE HER AGE HAVE AN AUNT FLO?"

"KAIBA I LOVE YOU."

"OH GOD WHY DO THEY HAVE SCENTS! …Wait, what?" the brunet asked in confusion, turning back toward him.

Joey rolled his eyes and sighed. "I just needed t' get ya t' shut the fuck up, okay?" When the older boy only blinked, he sighed and waved toward the different boxes. "Since she's twelve, just go with pads."

Seto turned back to the shelves and frowned. "…With or without wings? Scented or unscented? …OH GOD!"

"Unscented with wings!" the blond exclaimed quickly, before the brunet could have a complete meltdown. "Calm down, Kaiba! Seriously! This is _not_ the aisle to have a nervous breakdown!"

"But there are so many brands!"

"Just get the expensive name-brand ones! You've got the money for it!" Joey sighed in exasperation.

"THEY ALL HAVE NAMES!"

"Kaiba, why don't I pick out the pads for you?" the blond suggested, laying a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "Would that help?"

"…Yes." Seto looked much relieved.

Joey eyed the different products before finally reaching out and plucking two boxes from their admittedly intimidating numbers. "Let's get these and go on our ways, okay? An hour can be pretty long for a girl when her Aunt Flo is visitin' and she's got nothin' to help her."

"Wait. What are those?"

"…Well, Kaiba, these are _tampons,_ and usually _older_ girls use them because—"

"NEVER MIND NEVER MIND NEVER MIND!"

Seeing the normally unflappable CEO freaking out over something he saw as a regrettable part of his life with a female friend and a little sister was actually rather funny, Joey decided. Especially when Seto threw a fifty dollar bill at him and fled the small, twenty-four hour store. He could only surmise that it was for the pads; he decided that, to pay him back for his assistance, he'd use it to pay for Téa's tampons, too.

When he went outside, he found the brunet sitting his car, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles and staring straight ahead. "Just… put it in the seat. Keep the change. Oh, thank GOD Mokie's a boy. This is horrible. That poor little girl's innocence—OH GOD. Just stripped away one day—"

"…Kaiba, she's still a virgin," Joey stated after a few moments of listening to him ramble.

"OH GOD."

He'd had every intention of just going back to Yugi's house. However, he couldn't just let Seto drive home like this. Sighing, the blond shook his head before sitting down in the passenger seat. "So, Mokuba's havin' girls at his sleepover? Well, what a lucky kid."

"Well, they are very good at the shooting video games they play, so I assume that he's glad to finally have some good competition."

Joey sighed and leaned his face in his hand. For a genius, the brunet really _could_ be an idiot. Mokuba wasn't lucky because he had competition; he was lucky because they were _girls!_ …It was a good thing Mokuba had a conscience, otherwise it would be very easy for him to take advantage of his poor, socially misguided brother. He suddenly understood why sometimes the younger of the two brothers only sighed and nodded when the elder one spoke.


	91. Revisiting Memories: T

Author's Note: I figured there were so many fics where Joey's like "I can't believe you forced me into a dress you lecherous old dragon" that we needed one to prove that he's so overly confident that he doesn't care _what_ other people think of him. Oh, and that he's a horny teenager too. XD

Revisiting Memories

Seto raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Well, I didn't expect to walk in on _this._"

"Shut the hell up," the blond retorted. "I'm sexy and you know it."

The older boy had to admit that the short white dress did look good on him. He just… didn't know _why._ "…Is this some sort of fetish I need to know about, or…?"

Joey turned to blink at him, a finger on his chin as he tilted his head innocently. "What? No. I was just rememberin' somethin' from school and I was wonderin' if I could make myself look sexy this time. I mean, I _was_ gorgeous the first time, but I wanna be _sexy._"

Seto blinked as well. "…I remember that. It was during that popularity contest. I hate to say it, puppy, but… you weren't gorgeous the first time."

"Hey, _I_ thought I was gorgeous, and my opinion is the only one that matters," the blond huffed, crossing his arms and scowling at him. "So are you sayin' I don't look sexy like this? Fine! Then I'll sleep on the couch tonight—"

"I think you're sexy," the brunet cut in quickly, holding his hands up in defeat. "I just didn't think you were… gorgeous… at school. But you've filled out a little since then and you look healthier now, and—"

"Are you sayin' I'm _fat?_"

"…I'll just… go kill myself now…"

Joey huffed again. "You're damn right! You're lucky I love ya, or ya wouldn't be gettin' _anything_ tonight!"

Seto blinked. "…I'm still getting some?"

"Yes. Because I'm in the mood and no other reason," the blond replied, narrowing his eyes at him. "It's because you're so sexy, ya know. I can't help but be turned on when ya settle in bed with a book and a glass of wine. You sophisticated pain in the ass." He frowned when the older boy's eyes darkened. "What? …No! I meant later tonight! Seto!" He squealed as the brunet lunged at him and immediately dodged, then fled from the room frantically. "Nyeek! Ya could at least wait until after dinner, ya pervert!"


	92. Doctor's Appointment: T

Author's Note: It had to be done. Honestly, Seto just _isn't_ that clever sometimes.

Doctor's Appointment

"So, Mr. Kaiba, what brings you here? …You're usually dragged in kicking and screaming," the brunet's doctor muttered, raising an eyebrow as he clicked on his flashlight and pointed it into the CEO's eye.

"Well, obviously, I'm ill," Seto spat, crossing his arms. Normally, he'd snarl and growl and basically make a nuisance of himself until the doctor gave him a clean bill of health, but he'd been sick for quite some time, and it was beginning to worry him. So, he sat still (mostly) as the older man did the Doctor's Basics.

Okay, so he may have kicked him on purpose when he tested his reflexes. He wasn't going to be _completely_ docile.

"Okay, okay, I give," the doctor sighed, lifting his hands in defeat. "List off your symptoms and I'll try to diagnose you without actually touching you to check anything."

Seto relaxed against the wall and crossed his arms. "Well. This had been going on for a few months now."

"A few months-?" The doctor let out a frustrated roar, then huffed and sat down on his swivel chair. "I swear. One of these days, if some illness doesn't kill you, _I'll kill you myself._"

The brunet continued as if the older man hadn't just done a very good impression of his beloved Blue-Eyes. "At first, the symptoms were just an empty feeling when I was alone and a tingly feeling in my spine whenever I was around anyone besides my brother. I figured there was something wrong with my nerves, so I cut out coffee." He could feel the dubious stare. "…Alright, so I cut _down_ on coffee."

"Ahuh."

"…Anyway. A few weeks later, during my… confrontations with a certain classmate of mine, I started having hot flashes, and sometimes, during some of my classmate's more… exuberant actions, there was a buzzing in my skull. And when he touched me, my skin felt as if it was on fire. Obviously, I'm allergic to dogs. However, I realize that my classmate is, in actuality, not a dog; he only acts like one."

His doctor blinked.

"What really concerns me, though, are the dreams that have started in the past two weeks. They are inappropriate, unhelpful, and make me want to maul my classmate to see if he really makes the sounds I dream he makes."

His doctor blinked again. When the brunet did not continue, he stood up, jotting something on his clipboard, then scowled and reached over to smack him in the back of the head.

Seto squawked and grabbed the back of his head defensively, turning to glare at the physician in confusion. "What the hell?"

"You think you're ill? You _really_ think you're ill? Well, _congratulations!_ You can call in _human_ to work tomorrow! While you're at it, you might as well add homosexual! 'Yeah, sorry, I can't come in today; I've come down with a serious case of homosexual and a hint of human!'" Grabbing the clipboard, he smacked the brunet with it. "If you _ever_ waste my valuable time like this again, you're going to find yourself asphyxiated with a _stethoscope._"

The brunet watched him leave, stunned, and continued to rub the back of his head for a moment before finally standing and leaving the room himself.

Mokuba stood and smiled up at him innocently. "So, did you figure out what your illness is, Seto?"

"…My doctor said I've come down with a serious case of homosexual and a hint of human," Seto replied, frowning.

"…" The younger boy blinked at him, then smiled brightly and clasped his hands together. "Oh, that's so _cute!_ My big brother is finally growing up! He's finding out he's _human_ and he likes _boys_—"

Seto didn't see why it was funny. He'd seriously thought he might have a deadly disease. On the plus side, he could now maul his puppy in good conscience. This was, after all, a normal part of being human.

Seeing the expression on his brother's face, Mokuba's playful smile faded to a frown. He'd have to sit his brother down and explain to him that just because it was normal didn't give him the right to attack people—even if some people _did_ deserve it.

Because honestly. If Joey kept baiting his brother, he was going to find himself being thrown into a broom closet and sexually assaulted.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey sneezed, then blinked in surprise. After a moment, he frowned and looked around anxiously. Somebody had been talking about him—or thinking about him in an unkindly manner, at least.

Yugi frowned in concern. "Joey, are you okay?"

"…I think so," the blond replied quietly, then turned his attention back to the duel at hand.

Why did he have such a bad feeling?


	93. Courting Rituals: T

Author's Note: This didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. If I figure out how to fix it to how I wanted it, I'll repost it, unless you guys think it's okay.

Courting Rituals

Kisara turned her head indifferently as she heard a roar, then frowned. After a moment, she heaved herself to her feet and hesitantly made her way to the edge of her cave. She realized that she'd lived quite close to a male dragon, but she hadn't realized _how_ close. He was just across the glen, apparently. It was a good thing he wasn't territorial outside of wear he slept, or she'd have had to drive him away. In fact, he was more of a squatter on _her_ territory, but since he kept to himself, she let him stay there.

Her eyes widened as she saw the black dragon at the other side of the glen, chest puffed out as he strutted along a row of boulders. Once the male saw that he'd gotten her attention, he roared again, then turned his head and began preening the spikes along his spine.

Kisara took a moment to absorb the scene, eyes lingering over the size of the boulders that the male had dragged over—likely from a great distance, because there were no rocks that big in this valley. That meant he was strong and had powerful wings. He was also orderly, placing them in that row from largest to smallest, which would be helpful (since she was rather a pack rat; all of her jewels and treasures were strewn about and could really use some sort of organization). Not only that, but he was _clean._ His scales gleamed brightly in the sunlight, indicating that he cleaned himself on a daily basis, which she found _very_ attractive, since most males could barely manage cleaning themselves once a week.

…She decided he wouldn't be a bad mate. He was pretty, strong, and tidy; she'd have settled for a mate that was only one of those things, and here he was, embodying all three.

Purring, the white dragon went to meet him, only to let out a startled squeak as another female landed in front of her. She had dull crimson scales and dark brown eyes, and was a little more feminine than Kisara could admit herself. The trespasser cooed at the black dragon and took a step toward him.

The blue-eyed dragon could only blink, stunned at the audacity that another female would encroach on _her_ land and try to steal what was _her_ mate-to-be; obviously, that dragon had been courting _her_ specifically, and for this stranger to think she had the right to cut in on their dance—

That _slut._

Letting out a roar of fury, she charged forward, tackling her competition and beating her with her ribbed tail angrily. The red dragon, thankfully, was not stupid, and hurriedly took her leave—but not without a few bad cuts and scrapes from the one-sided battle.

Kisara huffed and glared after her, then turned her attention back to the black dragon with a coy purr.

Akai could only blink and wonder how he'd been so lucky to win her favor that she'd beat off her competition with little to no provocation.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Joey hummed as he watched his archrival use his briefcase to bash one of his attackers in the head, knocking him unconscious, before slamming a second one into the nearby brick wall. The third was dispatched quickly as well with a snapped wrist and dislocated knee. The blond hated to say it, but he was impressed; who knew rich boy was so good at self-defense? His strength was admirable, especially for someone that sat behind a desk most of the day.

When the brunet glanced over at him, the ex-thud gasped quietly and looked away, horrified by his own thoughts. He wasn't supposed to _respect_ the bastard's battle prowess, or anything remotely close to it! He was already admitted that the CEO was admirable and desirable, but if he started respecting him, that meant he'd start _wanting_ him, and that would only lead to heartbreak because Seto Kaiba was an asshole that delighted in his pain!

"Like what you see, puppy?"

Joey gasped as the warm breath brushed against his ear, then closed his eyes tightly. Damn. "…S-s-shut up, ya bastard!"

"I've seen the way you look at me," Seto cooed, brushing his fingers against the blond's cheek and smirking when he only shivered and blushed in response. "Haven't I proved that I'd make an ideal boyfriend?"

The younger boy shivered again at the warm air ghosting over his ear and bit his bottom lip. "N-nn! A-and how are ya so ideal?" he snapped, trying to take a step away—but then there was an iron grip around his waist, so he couldn't flee even if he wanted to.

"I've got the money necessary to provide for you." The brunet took a moment to nuzzle his shoulder. "I'm powerful, so you'd never have to worry about anyone taking advantage of you again. I'm certainly attractive. And I'm strong, as well, so I can protect you with my body whenever my reputation or money can't. Does that not sound like the ideal mate?"

Joey crossed his arms and huffed, glancing away in embarrassment. "Well, I guess, but what makes ya think that'd I'd wanna date ya after the way ya treated me?"

Seto set his briefcase down and chuckled darkly, sliding his other arm around the blond's waist. "Because if you refuse, I'll just keep chasing after you until you finally give in; it would just be simpler to give in now."

The younger boy shuddered as the brunet caught his earlobe between his teeth and nibbled on it tenderly. "Nn-! Y-ya got a point, but—"

"And if that doesn't convince you, I can assure you that I'm a very talented lover, so you can always count on getting your own satisfaction whenever we have sex."

Joey squeaked and jerked a little, then scowled, still blushing. "If I _do_ say yes, I'm not sayin' yes t' sex. We don't know each other nearly enough for me t' be comfortable with that and I'm still pretty sure you're screwin' with my head. Until I see otherwise, I'll let ya court me, but don't expect anything but the bare minimum."

Seto tilted his head thoughtfully, then nodded in acquiescence. "Alright. I understand. But I just want to tell you right now that I have every intention of making you mine."

"Humph. I'll wait until I see it myself, thank you very much!" the blond huffed, then elbowed him in the stomach. "But since I'm hungry and you're so adamant about courtin' me, you can take me out t' eat."

"Alright, I suppose I deserve that."

"So you're not taking me out?"

"I never said I wouldn't."

"Then ya better make sure ya say so. Come on; I'm hungry!"

Seto chuckled and shook his head in slight disbelief but grabbed his briefcase nonetheless, following the blond as he walked away without him without even caring if he was following or not. He was cute when he didn't realize he'd accepted his role as the female in the relationship.


	94. Pretend: T

Author's Note: Because you know there are days when Seto just needs some huggles.

Pretend

Seto opened his closet and looked up at the shelves, frowning, then reached up and shoved some ties out of the way, passing behind them in favor of plucking the old plush toy from its nearly forgotten perch. The plush's fur was old, tinted nearly gray from age and wear, and its blue marble eyes were dull and scratched up from being dropped and dragged and just about everything else.

He hugged the plush for a moment, then turned to look at his room. It looked a lot warmer and friendlier now that he was sharing it with his puppy.

Seto winced at he remembered why he was there and why he was holding his old and mostly-ignored plush toy. He bit his bottom lip and looked around again helplessly, then sighed and walked over to the bed. After another moment of hesitation, he got on his hands and knees and crawled beneath it. Then, he curled up beneath the headboard, hugging the plush dragon like a small child.

He closed his eyes and began to pretend. He pretended that he wasn't an overprotective bastard of a brother that Mokuba had said he hated. He pretended that he wasn't paranoid and so borderline psychotically possessive that Joey had wondered aloud just how long he was willing to be smothered before he finally gave up and left. He pretended that he wasn't a genius that could be expected to be able to fix anything and solve any problem that his employees muttered horrible things about when he didn't immediately fix problems _they_ had caused. He pretended that he was a normal teenager that didn't have paparazzi following his every move and that gossip magazines paid no attention to.

He pretended he wasn't a complete failure at being a normal human being.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey looked around the bedroom and sighed; one of the maids had said Seto had gone in and hadn't come out yet, and he was ready to apologize now that he'd cooled down, but he didn't seem to be there. Maybe she'd been wrong-?

Hearing a soft, forlorn sigh, the blond's palm met his face. He didn't even know Seto could _fit_ under the bed.

Joey sighed and got down on his hands and knees to peer under the bed. "Seto?"

Seto took a few moments before he finally drew his eyes away from the wall to focus on his face. "Puppy?"

"…How long have ya been in here?"

The brunet turned his gaze on his plush toy and picked a piece of fuzz from its fur. "…Maybe an hour and a half."

Joey sighed again, then crawled under the bed as well, taking the time to curl up against him and hook his leg over his hip in a comforting manner as he hugged him. "Seto, ya didn't hafta hide under your own bed."

"…I'm sorry I smother you," Seto replied after a few minutes. "…And I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass to deal with sometimes."

"Oh, Seto…" The blond hugged him tightly and nuzzled his chest. "I didn't mean that. Ya just made me mad. I'm sorry I said that."

"…Mokuba said he hated me too."

"Mokuba's fifteen, Seto. He hates _everyone._"

"…Puppy?"

Joey sighed. "Yes, Seto?"

"…I love you."

The blond lifted his hand to stroke his hair, somewhat amused by the older boy's sudden and rare show of neediness. "I love you too, Seto."

"…And I'm sorry I'm such an overbearing, possessive jerk," Seto added in a mumble, leaning his face into the blond's neck.

"I'm not." When the brunet made a skeptical noise, he chuckled quietly. "I like it when ya get all crazy possessive around strangers; it reminds me just how much ya care." Joey paused to play with one of the marble eyes on the plush toy. "You're really cute when you're growling at people ya think are payin' too much attention to me."

The older boy smiled a little at that, then brushed a small kiss across his throat. "Thank you, puppy."

"You're welcome." Joey nuzzled against him. He decided he'd wait until later to try and talk out the cause of their argument in the first place, and he'd wait until later to mention that Mokuba had gone out and gotten his lip pierced. Right now, he was content to just lay there with his lover and remind him that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.


	95. Cat: T

Author's Note: Have you ever written a drabble and people just… didn't get the point? Because there are some people that read _Pretend_ and just… did not get it. I shouldn't be sad, but I am rather disappointed that the point was missed. On another note, YES, THAT IS THE FEMALE VERSION OF MY CAT! **:3** My cat's just as annoying, but he has his sweet moments, too. Oh, and by the way, when you call your polydactyl cat 'Polly,' you're not as clever as you think. I know three other people who own polydactyl cats, and they're all named Polly.

Also, Seto hates ALL animals. Not just cats. He even hates dogs. He just makes an exception for Joey.

Cat

Seto understood that Joey liked coming home to someone while he was on business trips, since Mokuba was so involved with school, but he had sort of expected a puppy or something that the blond could play with. Instead, he came home and found a cat with a few toes too many digging around in his potted plants.

Joey had been happy to introduce them, giddily chirping, "Her name's Polly! She's a polydactyl! See? She's got two extra toes on this front paw, and one extra toe on the other! Isn't she cute? She's got little mittens for feet!"

"…Just… fantastic, puppy."

His puppy loved the new cat, but… he didn't seem to understand that Polly had her bad traits, too. Of course, that was because SETO WAS THE ONLY ONE AROUND TO SEE THEM.

Polly meowed to be let out at early hours of the morning when not even _he_ was up, and since Joey and Mokuba slept like the dead, he was the one that had to get up out of his nice, warm bed, walk downstairs, and open the door for it. Then, he had to get back into his bed (where his side was once again cold) and prepare to be woken up an hour later by a cat clinging to the screen of the bedroom window. He planned to cut down that tree soon, especially because he had to go out, climb up the tree because the cat couldn't get back down, grab the cat, and climb back down. By that time, he was already awake and dirty, so he just took a shower and was up for the day.

She also got underfoot all of the time; she liked to be around people when she wasn't asleep, so she followed them wherever they went—even if it meant darting forward under their feet when she saw something interesting. Seto had found out the hard way, and had thus far fallen down the stairs _twice_ because of the cat. However, he got no sympathy. Joey had come to see what happened, saw the cat had been wounded, and had whisked her off to the vet.

She'd had a broken leg, sure. Poor kitty. NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT SETO HAD FRACTURED A WRIST. He hadn't been able to work for days, but the only sympathy he got was from Mokuba, who had finally pitied him enough to at least make his coffee for him. Joey had babied the cat until it was once again whole.

Seto _hated_ that cat. She was loud, she was annoying, she was THE DEVIL.

So he was understandably pissed off when Joey decided to go see his sister the same weekend that Mokuba had a school trip and Seto had an important meeting that he couldn't get out of, which meant it was just him and the cat.

Polly was affectionate. Seto was not. She rubbed her face against his. He shoved her off of him—and, coincidentally, onto the floor. She purred when he just looked at her and didn't glare. He tried to remember to always glare, lest she get the idea he liked her.

So, there they sat, in an uncomfortable parley of peace on the couch. Seto was reading a book; Polly was sleeping on the cushion next to him.

Seto blinked as he felt an added weight on his leg and looked down, frowning when he saw one of the cat's overly large paws had been laid on his leg. After an awkward pause, he brushed his finger over the soft fur. Polly took a deep breath and pulled her paw back. Seto went back to his book. A moment later, he felt the weight again. Looking down at the paw, he frowned again, then extended a finger and placed it on her paw. She didn't move.

Well, it _had_ been a while since Joey had been there to scoop her up and all around maul her with his affection, so he supposed she just wanted some love and unconsciously reached out to the only other person in the house.

Sighing in defeat, he reached over and began to pet her. When she purred in response, he couldn't help the corner of his mouth quirking upward.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Look! I got Polly a little friend!"

Seto blinked at the kitten peering up at him, then reached out to pet it. The kitten did not approve. "Ow! Damn it!"

Joey winced and immediately detached the kittens claws and teeth from his lover's hand. "Yeah, sorry. He's sorta playful, and—"

"NO. I REFUSE."

The blond stared at him for a moment, then blinked. "…Refuse what?"

"Do you realize that _I_ am the one taking care of your cat? That _I_ am the one that gets up to let her out or in, that _I_ am the one that feeds her snacks and fills her food bowls and cleans her litter box? _I_ am the one that puts on the flea medicine and _I_ am the one that gives her baths? I REFUSE TO DO THAT FOR SOMETHING THAT WANTS TO EAT MY HAND."

Joey winced a little. "W-well, I didn't mean t' make ya do all those things. I just thought—"

"What, you thought what? That the kitty fairy was doing everything for you?" Seto growled. "_No,_ Joey. _Someone_ has to clean the litter box. _Someone_ has to change their water. _Someone_ has to put food in their dish. AND _SOMEONE_—" He cut himself off with a startled squeak as he felt something digging painfully into his back, then his shoulder blade, then his shoulder, and suddenly, he had a cat on his shoulder. He stared at her; she stared at him.

Then, he let out a frustrated roar. "I HATE YOU ALL!"

Polly purred. The kitten mewed innocently and reached out to bat at his necklace. Joey winced.

Seto took a few moments to get himself under control, then sighed. "…I don't mean that. I'm sorry."

"…I didn't mean t' make ya do all of that stuff for the kitties, Seto," Joey mumbled, drawing the kitten to his chest protectively. "'m sorry."

"…Oh. My. God." The brunet pointed at the kitten. "That's it. THAT'S IT!"

"What's it?" the younger boy asked, alarmed.

"The kitten. It will wear this stupid cat out so she can't wake me up in the mornings. I'll get more than five hours of sleep!" He sighed in bliss at the thought. "Just think… I could have maybe six or even _seven_ hours of sleep!"

Joey frowned. "Polly wakes you up? I didn't know that."

"You wouldn't know that because you sleep like the _dead,_" Seto deadpanned, then turned to go toward the kitchen (and deciding to ignore the fact that he had a cat on his shoulder; it would just be easier in the end). "I'm going to go eat something. How was your trip? Did you have a good time? How is your sister?"

The blond blinked as the older boy's voice faded the further he went. "…Sometimes I really think that he's losing it, Fred," he murmured, frowning, as he rubbed between the kitten's ears.


	96. Feline Ferocity: T

Feline Ferocity

Seto jerked in his seat as he heard a girlish scream, then stood up quickly. He paused for a moment, then slowly sat back down. He had a feeling that he knew what the scream had been about. And he _really_ didn't want to deal with it.

His suspicions were confirmed when he heard footsteps pounding toward him. The door to his office slammed against the wall as it flew open. He saw a yellow-white-blue blur; it zoomed through the door, leapt over his desk, and crashed into him hard enough to send the chair rolling back to slam into the wall.

Seto could only grasp the trembling mass in his arms as he wheezed to regain the breath that had been so violently forced out of him. "Oh… God… Puppy…"

Joey shivered slightly and peeked over his shoulder. "He _hates_ me…!"

It took a few moments for him to respond, but eventually, the brunet muttered, "You got a _kitten_, puppy. Kittens like to play."

"But he's _evil!_" the blond whimpered. "He tried to claw my feet off!"

Seto realized that his puppy was exaggerating. More than likely, the kitten had hidden under something and darted at his feet as he passed by. However, this didn't stop him from chuckling.

Joey immediately leaned back and scowled. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, puppy, it's just—"

"I don't think bein' attacked by my own cat is funny!"

"I never said it was—"

"And I _don't_ appreciate my boyfriend laughin' at me!"

Seto sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly, then held his hands up in defeat. "Fine. Go do something else, then. Never mind the fact that _I_ don't necessarily like having to fix the hole in my wall _repeatedly_ and _I_ don't necessarily appreciate my boyfriend knocking the air out of me when he actually leaps over my desk and knocks me into a wall."

Joey at least had the decency to look sheepish. "Oh. I… I'm sorry about that." He bit his bottom lip. "…I… I never really thought about it like that. 'm sorry."

"Whatever," the brunet sighed again, making to stand up. "Where did you last see him?"

The younger boy stood and scampered ahead of him to lead the way. On second thought, he doubled back and leapt at his lover again, carefully wrapping his legs around his waist in an attempt to preserve them from tiny kitten claws. "He attacked me just outside of Mokuba's room."

Seto rolled his eyes but slid one hand around to grip his butt to help hold him up (at least, that's what he would claim if the blond balked and squirmed), then stepped out into the hall. "Okay, hold on."

He was saved the trouble of searching when he heard a small mew, and looking down, he discovered that the little kitten was peering up at them innocently with big, green eyes, as if saying 'Look at me! Aren't I cute? How could I have ever hurt anyone? Especially my beloved owner?'

"…Yes, he's so ferociously scary," the brunet deadpanned, resting his hand on the wall for balance before he lifted one foot and poked the small feline with it. When the kitten didn't attack his foot, he raised an eyebrow and glanced at the blond still clinging to him.

Joey scowled. "I'm _serious_, Seto! He's—he's _psycho!_ He attacks my feet every time I walk by, and—"

"I'm sure he does, puppy," Seto sighed, grabbing his hips and forcing him away to put his feet down on the ground. "If it makes you feel better, I'll keep Fred in with me. Will that help?"

The blond kept his feet carefully away from the tiny cat. "Yeah, I s'pose that would be okay." He paused before leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Thank you, Seto."

The older boy watched him scamper away and raised an eyebrow, then grabbed the kitten by the scruff, walked back into his office, and shut the door, placing the small cat on the floor before he went to drag his chair back to the desk. A few minutes later, however, he felt tiny claws digging into his pants, then little feet crawling up his thigh. There were claws in his shirt, and he watched in semi-amusement, semi-fascination as the kitten climbed up onto his shoulder, then curled around his neck like some sort of really short, really messed up scarf.

Seto thought about putting Fred back on the floor, but the little thing had put so much effort into getting up to his shoulders that he figured he was okay for the meantime.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey hummed happily as he huggled Polly in his arms, nearly skipping as he made his way to his lover's office. It had been two entire hours, and Fred hadn't been around to attack his feet _once!_ He was ready to go in and have sex with him right on the desk he was so happy. Even though Seto despised the cats, he'd still willingly taken the demon child into his office with him. Now _that_ was _love,_ if he did say so himself, and such love should be rewarded! …Vigorously. In a manner that made both parties feel good.

Opening the door to the office, he stepped inside gleefully. "Thanks so much, Seto—_Ah!_" He froze in place and accidentally dropped Polly when he saw the kitten wrapped around the brunet's neck. Why did he have the little heathen so close to his jugular? Did he have a death wish?

Seto glanced up momentarily before smiling a little. "You're welcome puppy. If you'll wait a few minutes for me to finish this up, I'll be ready to go to dinner."

Joey stared at him for a few minutes, then pointed and squeaked, horrified. "You-! Fred-! How-! Why-!"

"He tired himself out playing with your feet. He's actually slept the entire time I had him," the brunet explained, making some finally changes to the document he was working on before saving it and shutting his laptop. "Where do you want to go for dinner?"

The blond watched him place the kitten on top of the laptop with wide eyes. "What are you doing!"

"Well, cats like to sleep on warm things. My laptop's warm." Seto stretched, then sighed and smiled at him tiredly. "Or do you mind throwing something in the microwave and eating in?"

Joey pointed at the kitten a few moments longer, then sighed, sagging in defeat. "I'm sure I could find somethin' for dinner. Gah, I was so happy a few minutes ago…"

The brunet frowned in confusion. "What made you sad? If you really want to go out, I don't mind—"

"It's just that… ya don't even like cats, but Fred likes ya more than he likes me, and _I'm_ the one that saved him," the younger boy mumbled, crossing his arms. "I mean, he even gets along with Polly, and she's bein' a total princess about everything—she bats him around all the time, hisses at him, and he still likes her better than he likes me, and all I've ever done is pet him and hold him—"

Seto's frown deepened as he walked over to pull the blond into his arms. "Oh, puppy… It's not that he likes me or your cat better than he likes you. He just… likes to play, and you're the only one that _will_ play with him. Because Polly obviously chases him off before he can try and I just don't give him the attention he needs. He attacks you because he loves you and you're the only one he _can_ play with."

Joey let out a shaky sigh, then frowned thoughtfully. "…Sorta like you, huh?"

"…Excuse me?" the brunet deadpanned.

"Well, ya _do_ attack me because ya love me."

"I hardly call grabbing you and kissing you an _attack,_" Seto began, but the blond immediately cut him off.

"Oh, yeah, that wouldn't be an attack if ya stopped there. But no, then ya start trying to suck my face off and ya put your hands down my pants and—and—a bunch of other perverted things!" Joey blushed. "'nd ya start takin' off my clothes, touchin' me. And ya do it at the most inconvenient times! Like when I'm tryin' t' cook, or doin' the dishes, or—or doin' th' laundry, or—" He blushed even more. "When I'm _mad_ at ya and ya just jump me and do those things t' me!"

The brunet frowned. "It's not my fault that you're so sexy when you do those things."

"Well, yeah, but— …You think I'm sexy when I'm cooking?" The younger boy ducked his head and gazed up at him through his lashes bashfully. "…'nd ya think I'm sexy when I'm doin' the dishes, too?"

Seto smiled a little. "You're so incredibly sexy when you cook or wash the dishes, Joey. Seeing you doing something so domestic… for me… I didn't grow up with that, so seeing you do those things for me makes me really… happy." Clearing his throat, he turned his head away and tried to ignore the light blush he could feel on his cheeks.

Joey smiled and went up on his toes to be able to brush his lips against his cheek. "Thank you, Seto."

"…You're welcome." The brunet lifted his hand to brush against the younger boy's cheek. "So, what do you—"

"_Myew!"_

Joey blinked, looked down, then let out a shriek and fled the room. "OhmyGod he's after me again!"

Fred mewed again helplessly, trying to hurry after him, but his little legs were just too short in comparison to the human's long strides.

Seto sighed and picked him up. "Come on, Fred. Let's go show Joey how much we love him."

"_Myew!"_


	97. Rivalry: T

Rivalry

"…I swear to God. If you two don't stop dueling _right now_, I'm going to _beat you both into mush!_" Joey snarled, gripping his hands into fists.

Yugi frowned and hurriedly grabbed his friend's arm. "Joey, calm down—"

"Calm down? You want me to CALM DOWN? I left to go to the bathroom for five minutes and when I come back they're so deep in a duel that I can't even get their attention through violence!" the blond snapped. "This is _your_ boyfriend's fault!"

At that, the younger boy immediately took offence. "And just how do you know it was Yami's fault?"

Joey huffed and placed his hands on his hips. "Because, before we even walked in, I made Seto _promise_ that he wouldn't challenge Yami to a duel! And you _know_ Seto, Yugi. He's an asshole sometimes, but he has _never_ broken a promise!"

Yugi sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I know. I wish there wasn't such a rivalry between them, though…"

"I know, right? They've already won at life! They're successful and have the best boyfriends they'll ever have!" the blond exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. "But is that enough? _Nooo!_ They hafta duel! And not only that, but Seto keeps _losing!_ I know that in itself is why he keeps comin' back t' get served more, but what excuse does _your_ boyfriend have? He's not tryin' t' win back any title or nothin'! He just likes shovin' Seto's face in the dirt!"

Yugi frowned. That seemed to be true. Yami sometimes challenged Seto to duels to 'protect someone's honor,' but other than that, he really had no reason. In fact, even when Seto came by the shop nowadays, he was only riled into challenging Yami to a duel by something that Yami, in fact, had said. And no matter how much Yami may have acted guilty in beating Seto again and again, he must have gotten _some_ sort of sadistic glee out of repeatedly defeating him. He had to admit, also, that Seto was starting to look more and more dejected and frustrated with each loss…

Yami yelped as something smacked him across the face, the force enough to throw him out of his chair. "Ack!"

"This duel is _over,_" Yugi stated firmly, glaring at him, before he turned a stern look on Seto. "Do you hear me?"

"But we can't just stop in the middle of a duel—" the brunet began, appalled by the thought, only to squeak in the back of his throat as the smaller boy grabbed the table they were dueling on and flipped it, scattering all of the cards on the floor. "Yugi—"

"I _said_ this duel is _over,_" the smaller boy growled, his stern expression darkening. "Or didn't you hear me?"

Seto glanced from him to his scattered cards, and then back to him. After some frantic thought, he hurriedly stood up and turned to leave. "If you could just get my cards back to me—"

"I'll do that."

Joey's eye twitched a little. "…This is _not_ what I _meant—_"

"I'LL DEAL WITH IT MY WAY, THANK YOU!"

The blond did not need any more prodding to make him scamper out of the shop. "I'lltalktoyoulaterYugi!"

Yugi watched them go, then turned a glare back on his lover. "I have something I want to speak to you about, Yami…"

Yami squeaked.


	98. Waste Not: M

Author's Note: Why yes, this did happen to me, except without the making out and implied sex at the end. In fact, it was even more embarrassing. But if you really want to know the story, you can ask me about it, because I don't want to spoil it for you and I don't feel like boring you with my real life!

Waste Not

"And then he grabbed me, kissed me, then shoved me onto the plane! I swear to Gawd! American men are jerks!"

"All men are jerks," Joey mumbled, rolling his eyes, as he helped his friend unpack. She was scatter-brained and a bit naïve, but was book-smart. She'd just gotten back from an exchange trip to an American college, and she said being back in Japan was better than Christmas, chocolate, and birthdays combined. And then she'd finagled him into helping her unpack.

"You're not a jerk," she replied, then paused, frowning. "Well, okay, you're not a man yet; you're just a guy. But when you're old enough to be called a man, I still can't see you as being a jerk."

The blond huffed. "That's because you'll only ever see me as that kid ya watched out for when ya were Hirutani's girl."

She shuddered. "Ugh, don't _remind_ me. I'm just lucky my dad and brother are part of the police force, or he would've come after me!"

"…Yeah." Joey did not mention that Hirutani had once talked about going after her—about beating her and raping her—and that he himself had put a stop to that by slamming the jerk's head into a wall seven times. "Well, you _are_ pretty luck—WHAT THE HELL!"

She turned in surprise, then smiled a little. "Ah, I forgot about that. See, it was explained to me that the colleges know that they can't actually _stop_ students from having sex, so they hand out condoms to at least make it safe. My roommate just handed me that one day and told me to keep it. I just threw it in my desk. Get rid of it for me, okay? …If my family saw it, they'd never let me leave the country again."

Joey blinked at her, stunned, but nonetheless shoved the condom into his pocket. "Well, I gotta go soon. I got a tutor I hafta meet on the other side of town."

"Oh, I'll give you a ride if you want."

"…Well…"

"I'll make a sandwich for you."

"Alright."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"You're late."

Joey sighed and rubbed the back of his head as he walked over to sit on the couch. "My friend just got back from America and she wouldn't let me leave from helpin' her unpack until I'd had a second sandwich."

Seto snorted. "It figures that you would be distracted by _food._ Well, hurry up; I don't have all day, unlike _some_ people."

The blond growled in the back of his throat and glared at him, slamming his books down on the table, then reached into his pocket to pull out a pencil. Opening his math book, he pulled out his math spiral and gazed at the last problem he'd been working on. "So I already started on th' homework, but could ya check what I've done just t' make sure I've… done it right…" Joey trailed off, frowning as he turned to blink at the brunet when he didn't make any more snarky comments.

He was staring at something on the floor. The blond blinked at him again before turning his gaze downward as well. He was immediately horrified; it was the condom he'd planned on just tossing out but had forgotten in favor of a sandwich. He felt blood rushing to his face as the older boy finally looked up at him, biting his bottom lip in embarrassment.

"…Just for my own confirmation, is that a _condom,_ puppy?"

Joey felt that his face would catch fire any minute as he hurriedly ducked his head, hiding his eyes behind his bangs. "…Yes."

Seto frowned, disliking the awkward pause the answer caused. Seeing how mortified the blond was, however, he couldn't help his sadistic tendencies, so he smirked and leaned toward him. "Were you expecting something when you came over today, puppy?"

"N-NO!" The younger boy whimpered, feeling utterly and totally ashamed. "Y-ya know what, never mind!" Standing to flee the situation completely—with every intention of abandoning his books, his backpack, the condom, and the embarrassing situation—he tried to pretend that he hadn't just completely humiliated himself and was just fleeing from another verbal argument he'd been bested at.

A hand tightly gripping the back of his jacket foiled his escape however, and he suddenly found himself being tugged backward and falling. "Ack!"

"Now, puppy, you weren't just going to leave me here without hearing what obviously _fascinating_ reason you have for carrying around a condom so casually," Seto cooed, lips brushing against the blond's ear as he quivered on his lap. "I just can't believe my innocent little puppy would carry around a condom _all_ the time."

Joey whimpered at the warm, moist touch against his ear and tried to get up, but the arm latched tightly around his waist restrained him from doing so. "Please, Kaiba, just lemme go—"

"Not without an answer, puppy."

"B-b-but… I… My friend asked me t' get rid of it for her before her parents saw it! It was a practical joke from an American friend! Lemme go, Kaiba, I—"

Seto chuckled darkly and caught the blond's earlobe between his teeth. "It seems a shame to let it go to waste, puppy. I mean, since it's _here_ and all…"

"…Are ya… You're sayin' ya wanna do me?" Joey asked in confusion, only to mewl when the brunet's leg rubbed between his own, bringing his attention to the fact that he was actually sort of turned on, sitting in his lap and at his mercy. "B-but Kaiba—Ya hate me! Ya always tell me how beneath ya I am and that I'm a mutt—"

"I believe if we go to the right sex shop, you could be _quite_ a sexy mutt, Joey." The CEO smirked and rested his free hand on the blond's hip. "Or we could talk to Duke about that dog suit he made you wear. You were pretty cute in that."

The blond's cheeks darkened further. "W-w-what are ya sayin', ya pervert?"

"I'm _saying_ that I've always found you attractive, puppy. But with you acting the way you are, so cute and innocent, it's as if you're tempting my control. You're so sexy when you're standing up to me, when you're yelling and challenging me. Then you get so timid and shy when you're confused or unsure, and I can't help but think you're sexy that way, too. How can I help being attracted to you?" Seto nuzzled his neck and hummed. "Mm, and you're so warm, and your skin is so soft—you make me want to _eat you up._"

Joey gasped as he felt the brunet's teeth sink into his neck and tossed his head back against his shoulder. "Ah…! W-what are ya—"

"I'll be more than happy to check your homework, puppy. After I… teach you some of the more complicated functions."

"Functions of what? If you're talkin' about penises I'm afraid you're gonna be sorely disappointed!" the blond exclaimed, only to whimper again as the older boy gave his ass a lecherous rub. "Nyo…!"

Seto hummed and nuzzled his throat. "Are you certain I can't change your mind?"

Joey huffed and turned his head to glare at him. "Listen, ya jerk, I ain't no one-night stand! And I _sure_ as hell ain't gonna be one for _you!_"

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "Who said I intended it to be a one-night stand? Perhaps I want to keep you. Perhaps I wish I could lock you up in my room and keep you all to myself, to know where you are at all times and keep you safe from all of the people that would ever try to hurt you."

"…What?" The younger boy blinked at him in confusion, both alarmed and flattered at the implied admission of concern for his well-being. "…You sayin' ya care about what happens t' me?"

"I'm saying that if I can't have you I don't want anyone else to have you either," the CEO growled, scowling at him. "You rile me up on purpose and then you scamper away. I'm tired of your teasing. You are _my_ puppy."

"_I_ rile _you_ up!" The former thug began to struggle. "_I_ rile _you_ up? You're the one always callin' me names, tryin' t' get me t' beat ya up!" He growled and began pushing at the arm still firmly wrapped around his waist. "You're the one that always pushes me around and makes me feel like crap! You're the one that always tries t—tries t'—You try t' get me so riled up I can't even see straight. …You… You think I'm sexy when I'm yellin' at ya," he whispered in realization. "Ya like it when I stand up t' ya and challenge ya t' things. Oh my _gawd._ Kaiba, were you _flirtin'_ with me?"

Seto raised an eyebrow at him. "…I suppose, if by 'flirting' you mean watching you get sexier the more riled up I made you."

"…There's something wrong with you," Joey stated bluntly. "You're fuckin' _insane._ End of story."

"I never argued that I _was_ sane," the brunet deadpanned.

At that, they paused to take in everything that had passed—the conversations, the confessions, the anger and frustration—and as the thoughtful pause transcended into an awkward pause, Joey once again became aware that he was on the brunet's lap.

Shifting slightly, he bit his bottom lip. "…Well, I guess I wouldn't mind foolin' around a little and seein' how I feel about that. No sex unless I decide I like foolin' around with ya, though!" he added quickly when he saw the predatory glint in the brunet's eyes. "I mean it! I swear t' God I'll kick ya off me and never talk t' ya again unless ya promise!"

Seto sighed, then nodded. "Fine. I _promise_ I won't force you to have sex if you decide you don't like fooling around. Though it would be a shame to let that condom go to waste—"

Joey glared at him. "I swear I'll tear your penis off and then it won't even be an issue."

"…Fine. I _promise_ I won't jump your bones while we make-out."

The blond sighed and rolled his eyes, but he figured that was as close as he was ever going to get to what he'd actually been asking for. "Fine."

"…That, of course, does not mean I will not try to _convince_ you to let me jump your bones," Seto added, then smirked and slammed the younger boy's back onto the couch.

Joey mewled in surprise and wrapped his legs around the brunet's waist, then moaned and slid his arms around his neck when a demanding tongue was immediately thrust into his mouth. "Mm!"

Well… maybe he'd actually _think_ about having sex instead of planning to say no immediately. After all, Seto was quite skilled with his tongue and hands, which made him wonder just what it would be like to have sex with him.

Besides, Seto had a point. It would be a shame to have to throw away the perfectly good condom.


	99. Instinct: M

Author's Note: Yeah, I was going somewhere with this. I just don't remember where. Either way, it's the one hundredth chapter! HUZZAH! Thanks for stickin' around this long. **:3**

Instinct

Joey's first instinct at seeing a dragon outside of his cottage was to scream and faint. Luckily, he was not a pathetic little _girl;_ instead, he went outside to greet him. "Um… hello! Is there anything I can do for ya?"

The white dragon rumbled, making him shiver, before it dipped its head, laying it flat on the ground. _**"I was told that a healer lives here."**_

The blond shivered as the deep, rich voice filtered through his ears at a surprisingly quiet volume, then looked back up at it. "…U-uh, yeah! I-I'm the healer! Are ya… are ya hurt or sometin'?"

"_**You seem a little young to be a healer,"**_ the dragon murmured, transparent eyelids sliding closed before opening again. _**"But I was told you'd be the only one brave enough to step outside and help me."**_

"…So ya _are_ hurt," Joey stated, frowning. "Where?"

The white dragon paused before lifting itself up and onto its back legs, exposing its belly. _**"Here."**_

The blond hesitated a moment before hesitantly moving toward it. When he saw the wound he was supposed to be looking at, however, he rushed forward. "Oh, God! How did _this_ happen!"

"_**A few unicorns decided that attacking me would be a good idea."**_ The dragon rumbled in amusement and finally opened its mouth, dropping a few strands of silvery hair and half a unicorn's horn. _**"I showed them that it was not."**_

"I… I don't know _how_ t' heal a dragon, though. And I don't think I have any bandages big enough for you…"

"_**Would you like me to shrink into a more manageable size?"**_

Joey looked up at his face in surprise. "You can do that?"

"_**Such a small act of magic is nothing to a being like me."**_ The dragon's transparent eyelids slid closed, followed by the second set that hid them from view. It took a deep breath, electricity dancing around its teeth, then let out a powerful roar.

The blond cringed and covered his ears immediately, eyes squeezing shut as he tried to shut out the noise. "Ack!" Luckily, the volume of the roar began going down. Once the noise died down altogether, he hesitantly blinked his eyes open, then turned to face the dragon again.

He gasped quietly as he found a human standing where the dragon had once sat. Well, it was sort of human, anyway—it still had the dragon's wings and tail—but… but… Oh, the dragon was really _attractive!_ He was a wall of muscle covered by pale skin, taller than he was, with stick-straight brown hair and eyes the most breathtakingly impossible shade of blue he'd ever seen. The blond's eyes dropped lower to take in the muscular legs encased in thin white fabric.

The dragon blinked at him for a moment before realizing the blond was looking at him with obvious approval. Nose twitching, he took in the sudden new scent, raising an eyebrow as he smelled the blond's pheromones beginning to saturate the air. When he realized just how _much_ the blond liked his new form, his lips twisted into a sharp smirk. "I see you approve of this form."

Joey looked up at him sharply, then blushed and hurriedly looked down at the injury on his stomach. "I-I have no idea what you're talkin' about!"

"Hmm. If you say so," the brunet replied, still smirking. "May I know your name? I admit that I failed to acquire it when I was directed to find you."

"It's Joey. Do dragons have names?"

"Not that you'd be able to pronounce without a forked tongue. The name I use among humans is Seto," the dragon-turned-human replied. "Is my wound relatively easy to treat?"

The blond hummed and knelt in front of him, taking a few more moments to examine the relatively shallow cuts. "Yes. I can just slap some salve on this and it should heal it up in about a half an hour. But, uh…" He hesitated before looking back up at him. "…Are… are ya gonna be able t' pay?"

Seto tilted his head thoughtfully, then twisted his tail around to pick at his scales. After a moment, he nodded. "Yes. I know that the magical properties of dragon scales are much more powerful than some of the herbs I'm sure you use. If you just crush them into a powder and substitute a sprinkle for every tablespoon of an herb you use—"

Joey frowned and blinked up at him in confusion. "What are ya—_Oh!_" He gasped in horror as the brunet ripped out a scale with a sickening crunchy sound. "No, what are ya—_Eek!_" He reached up to stop him from ripping out a third. "Stop! Stop! I don't need this—"

"You said you wanted payment," the brunet replied, raising an eyebrow.

"_No,_ I asked if ya were gonna be able t' _pay!_" he snarled, glaring at him. "That's totally different, and now ya ripped out your scales—" He looked down to motion at the scales only to blink when he found the scales had already grown back in. "…How…?"

"Scales are usually quick to heal," Seto explained, grabbing the blond's hand and placing the two coin-sized scales in his palm. "It's only because the wound is on my stomach that I need help; the scales are much smaller and weaker there. Please, if that's not enough, just ask."

Joey blinked at him for a while, still stunned, then let out a snarl and punched him in the shoulder. Hard. "WARN ME WHEN YA DO THAT." Then, turning, he stomped back into his cottage.

The brunet waited until he was inside to flinch. In his human form, he was much less impervious to pain, though still relatively tough-skinned, and with all of his muscle, it usually took a lot to hurt him. Joey had only punched him, and he was scrawny besides! So why had it hurt that bad?

"Are ya comin' in or what?" Joey snapped, leaning out of the doorway and glaring at him, before he huffed and disappeared from view again.

Seto frowned, then made his way to the doorway, trying to ignore the throb from his abdomen. The cottage was sparsely furnished; a table, a bed, a wood-stove and a bunch of shelves were the only real adornments of the single room. "…You… have a very nice house."

The blond snorted and waved toward a chair. "Ya don't hafta lie t' me. I know it's pretty lame. Sit down. It's not like I earn a lot of money or anything. Ya said so yourself; I look too young t' be a good healer. So, I just deal with what I can get. Sit up straight. Do ya want some tea or somethin' while it finishes healin'? I said sit up _straight._ You're not allergic t' marginine root, are ya? Can dragons be allergic t' things?" He scowled and slapped the brunet's arm. "Sit up _straight!_"

The dragon hissed and did as he was told. "Are you always so rough with the people you're healing?" He tilted his head a little as the blond set a bowl on his lap, then frowned when he knelt in front of him. He couldn't help a roar—quiet in comparison to the ones in his dragon form, but still quiet loud—as the younger boy slapped some of the salve on his wound and dug his hand into his hair. "That _HURTS!_"

Joey scowled, entirely unconcerned with the tight grip on his golden locks. "Oh, shut up, ya big baby. It only burns for a few minutes."

Seto choked back a whine. He didn't know how to explain to the blond that he was entirely unused to this type of pain; his scales were too thick and his nerves too deep to allow more than an awkward and unpleasant twinge. The wound he'd acquired when being gored by the unicorns was only a mild itch! So this burning pain that made tears come to his eyes was entirely new.

The human reached up to disentangle the fingers from his hair to instead place it in the brunet's lap, then frowned when he found the pale hand slick with blood. Turning the hand over in confusion, his brows drew together when he found that the brunet's claws had pierced the skin of his palms. Trailing his fingers over the dragon's hand, he took a few moments to admire the silky-smooth toughness of it.

Even in his human form, he'd had to use his own claws to break the skin. Joey knew that his own skin was fragile, delicate enough to break because of a slipped knife, or scraping against the corner of something, or even mishandling paper. Seto's skin was much stronger and much prettier than his own. He was sort of jealous; it seemed like dragons got the best of everything.

"You know, my first instinct when I saw you was to eat you," Seto grumbled, glaring at him once the burning had faded. "Just for putting me through that pain, I _still_ think I should eat you."

"_Ha._ Please, I just healed ya. Grow a pair," Joey snorted, standing up. "I'm makin' tea. Ya want some?"

"I don't know. I've never had any." The brunet tilted his head. "Grow a pair of what?"

"Balls," the human stated bluntly. When he saw the other man's brows draw together in confusion, he frowned. "Ya know… testicles?"

"Ah. Humans grow them at will? I was under the impression they were born with them."

"_Ack!_" Joey blushed brightly and covered his mouth. "No, we _are_ born with 'em—It's just a sayin'—I didn't mean—"

Seto raised an eyebrow. "Is this a human idiom I won't understand without hours of education?"

"_No,_ it's just—what, do _you_ guys just grow testicles at the drop of a hat?"

The brunet tilted his head. "Dragons? No, I suppose we don't." After a thoughtful pause, he nodded firmly. "No, we're born with them. Well, most of us are. There are those rare few who change their genders later."

Joey stared at him. "How-? Ya know what, never mind. It'll just make my brain melt and ooze out my ears," he sighed, turning his attention back to making tea.

Seto took a few moments to watch him, then. He admired the way the blond mop he called hair fell around his strong shoulders, the way the ill-fitting clothes were belted around his body to show just how slight his frame was despite his obvious muscle tone. He was amazed by the graceful movements of his hands, the way he knew where everything was and went about his work mostly with his eyes closed, humming quietly.

The brunet rumbled in embarrassment as he felt himself become aroused. In his dragon form, the human he was watching hadn't been nearly this attractive sexually; he'd been attractive as lunch. Now, in his human form, he felt a surge of hormones that made him want to eat the blond in an entirely different way.

Mistaking the rumble for aggravation instead of embarrassment, Joey sighed and rolled his eyes as he brought the tea tray to the table. "Oh, ya got like ten minutes left. Suck it up. I swear, I deal with _kids_ that don't whine half as much as you."

"Children feel pain all the time," Seto argued, scowling at him, but quickly grabbed the chipped mug thrust at him. "…You have very… lovely… china."

The blond glared at him, then huffed and turned to face away from him with his own mug. "So that's the thanks I get for healin' ya? Ya turn into a dick?"

"So it's not supposed to look like this?" The dragon tilted his head. "You'll have to forgive me. Dragons don't usually use forks or plates or… these things," he added, waving at the mug.

Joey felt a blush cross his cheeks in embarrassment; it really _hadn't_ been an insult. "Oh. Uh, they're cups."

"Cups," the brunet repeated quietly, then took a sip of tea. "Thank you."

"…Yeah. Um, in a few minutes, I can wash that salve off and then you'll be healed, so…"

"Ah. Thank you." Seto looked at his tea for a moment, took a few more sips, then made a face and set his mug down. "I don't think I like tea."

Joey couldn't help a giggle at the disgusted expression that flickered across the brunet's face. "That's okay. Sometimes it's an acquired taste."

Seto sighed and leaned his head in his hand, pleased that he'd gotten his hormones in check through distraction. All of his work was shot to hell, however, when the blond grabbed a damp cloth and knelt in front of him. Flinching as his stomach flexed beneath the human's hands, he reached out and clenched the blond's hair in his own hands. But, as the blond continued to clean him and he realized it didn't hurt, he loosened his grip on the long hair but didn't let go.

Instead, he was distracted by the thought of what might happen if he just shoved Joey's head down, forcing his face into his crotch. The blond _had_ been initially pleased with his transformation, so he couldn't be _too_ adverse to relations with him, despite knowing what he really was. And the human _certainly_ wasn't unpleasing to the eye, making him wonder just how much more attractive he might be as he bleated in pleasure or sobbed for release.

Joey took an extra few moments to make sure he'd washed away all of the salve, then smiled brightly and looked up at the brunet. "All healed! Make sure ya don't get hurt like this again, okay? Next time, it might not be so shallow."

Seto blinked; the blond had been friendly, frigid, and now he was friendly again. That was different—pleasingly so, after all of his dealings with not-so-fickle dragons. Letting out a quiet purr, the brunet cupped his face gently and leaned down to nuzzle his temple, then let tilted his head upward so he could capture his lips.

The human blinked, then yipped as he broke the kiss, standing up quickly as he backed away from the dragon despite moving away from the door. "W-w-what the hell?" He felt himself blush brightly at the dark look the brunet gave him, purr growing louder. "W-what are ya doin'?"

"I told you my first instinct when I saw you was to eat you. My instinct is _still_ telling me to eat you," Seto hissed, tail twisting around to slam the door shut and twist the lock. "And I will. It's been _so_ long since I've been full, Joey… I might have to eat you a lot."

Joey squeaked in terror. He'd _healed_ this dragon, given him the benefit of the doubt, and now it was going to _eat him!_ He couldn't believe how cold the man was being— "ACK!" He flailed wildly as he found himself airborne before the air was knocked out of him as he hit the bed. "Ugh-!" He squeaked again as the dragon leapt on top of him and closed his eyes tightly as the claw-tipped fingers trailed over his cheek, reaching up to grab his shoulders frantically. "D-don't, please—"

"But Joey, _you_ asked _me_ for this first," the brunet purred smugly. "After all, it was _your_ pheromones that soaked the air when you saw my human form. And if sexual pheromones aren't an open invitation, I don't know what is."

"But Seto-!" The blond yelped frantically as the dragon's mouth crushed his own, then moaned helplessly as the brunet's arms hooked under his knees and shoved his legs upward, eyes rolling back as a long, lithe tongue flexed in his mouth. "_Mmmm!_" His fingers twitched, digging lightly into the brunet's shoulders, before he felt each of his muscles relax the longer the careful, gentle kiss continued. He whimpered as his hands finally fell to the bed, thighs twitching nervously, before he let them fall open in defeat as the dragon's tongue continued to seduce him. "Mmm…"

Seto kissed him a little longer before finally breaking away, licking his lips. "…Do you still argue?"

Joey's eyes fluttered open slowly before the pale golden gaze was turned on his face. "…God, is that your… It's so _big…_" He blushed and mewed when the brunet shifted between his legs. "Nn, sex wouldn't be so bad… I mean, how many people are gonna come beggin' for a healer?" Sliding his arms around the dragon's human neck, he smiled a little as his eyelids fell to half-mast in a seductive expression. "So _take me._"

Seto did not have to be told twice.


	100. Hapless Pap: T

Hapless Pap

"Mm… Mn, yes…" Joey mewled and pressed closer, tilting his head back to give the brunet more access to his neck. "Seto… W-we're s'posed t' be workin' on our science project…"

"Photosynthesis can wait," Seto growled, catching the skin on the blond's neck with his teeth and pulling on it lightly before returning to the hickey he'd left with the intention of perhaps making it a _little_ bigger…

"I'm still here." Mokuba went ignored, for the most part. Joey blushed and squirmed a little, but was immediately distracted when his lover's fingers gently dug into a spot on his back that had him melting into a puddle of puppy goo in his lap. The younger boy sighed and concentrated on his book.

Well, at least until he heard a noise that was familiar—and aggravated him to no end. As the clicking continued, he growled, then let out an exaggerated sigh. "Poor hapless pap."

Joey stiffened with an embarrassed squeak, then turned with a snarl, fingers twitching. "_Where?_" When the younger boy pointed behind some bushes nearby, he snarled again and leapt to his feet, then dove over the bushes.

Sounds of fighting were heard.

Seto blinked in confusion. He could have sworn he was just molesting his puppy, but suddenly his arms were empty. What had happened? Turning his head as he heard a crunch, he blinked again, then turned and looked at Mokuba. "What's a hapless pap?"

"It's the poor paparazzi that decided to try and take pictures of us while Joey's with us," Mokuba replied, looking back at his book. "You know that Joey's a very private person, so he doesn't like it when people just take pictures of him. So, Joey will find any paparazzi that take pictures of us with him involved and beats them up, then destroys the film. Most paparazzi don't believe what Joey's past… victims… have said, so they still come. Eventually, they'll be too afraid, but until then… Poor hapless paps."

"…I chose one of the weirdest people to love, Mokuba."

"I know. But we love him anyway. _I_ don't feel badly for the paparazzi, anyway."

Joey stood up, hissing and spitting as his victim ran away. "Yeah, ya better run! Ha! Why doncha just mind your own business, huh?" Ripping the film from the camera, he chucked it after him, grinning a decidedly sadistic grin when the camera hit its owner in the head. Then, he waltzed back over to his family, sat himself back in the brunet's lap, and began kissing his neck. "Mm…"

Seto blinked again, then growled and hugged him closer. Joey was _hot_ when he was pissed.


	101. Dyslexia: T

Author's Note: Just a tidbit of information that might help some of you: dyslexia is when the letters of words scramble around in someone's brain, so they have to take the time to unscramble them, making it difficult to read and write. It can make some people actually write words backwards. Or, considering that it's Joey, he could just not give a damn. I wouldn't put it past him.

Dyslexia

Seto scowled and snapped his fingers in front of the blond's face. "Puppy! Focus! You wanted my help to pass this spelling test, so make use of it!"

Joey blinked, startled, then blushed and looked back down at his paper. "Sorry, sorry. What's the next word?"

"Lucubrate," the brunet sighed, rolling his eyes in frustration. "The word is _lucubrate._"

"Okay." The younger boy frowned at what he'd written down. "…Say that again?"

"Lu-cu-brate."

"…Ah—"

"LUCUBRATE, JOEY."

Joey blinked up at him in confusion, then blushed again and covered his face. "Agh, the dyslexia! I'M DOOMED!" So saying, he jumped to his feet and scampered out of the room, horrified with himself.

Seto could only stare after him in confusion. After a few moments, he turned the blond's paper so he could read it. All in all, it was correct—for the most part anyway. Sighing, he grabbed a pen and began to correct what was there, deciding they could finish the test later.

_Spurious_

_Diffident_

_Strinjent—_He crossed it out and spelled it correctly—_stringent_

_Ececltic—_He was surprised; Joey actually _was_ dyslexic—_eclectic_

_Abarisve—_Was it because he'd been focused the first two words, then lost interest?—_Abrasive_

_Lergnom—_The word had been 'mongrel,' so—oh God! He'd spelled in backward! Was it because he'd pissed him off with the hint at a canine insult?—_mongrel_

Seto blinked as he saw the last word, then couldn't help a chuckle. He could understand why the blond had been so confused and embarrassed about it now.

Because instead of writing 'lucubrate,' Joey had written 'lubricate.'


	102. Pampering: T

Author's Note: I thought of this after reading Willowsnake's fic called "Self Defense," as Mokuba helps Joey make vegetable lasagna and garlic bread. We get to see Seto caring… and we get to see him fail.

Oh. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ "SELF DEFENSE" YOU TOTALLY SHOULD. Yes. I love Willowsnake that much that I'm advertising stories without _even_ being asked.

Pampering

"…I don't understand why we're doing this. Joey is perfectly happy to keep the kitchen to himself."

Seto sighed and ruffled his little brother's hair. "Mokuba, it's been a long first day of work for him. I want him to wake up from his nap and have a hot meal waiting for him. Do you think that's too much to ask after all of the times we've had hard days and he's still had dinner on the table for us?"

Mokuba crossed his arms and sighed. "No… But I don't exactly have how to make this memorized, you know."

"We can improvise. It shouldn't be that hard, right?"

Neither of the Kaibas noticed the oven's terrified beep.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey sighed and shoved his head under his pillow, wanting to just go back to sleep, but he knew he'd have to get up soon. If he wasn't going to make dinner, Seto would at least insist to take them out, and he'd probably make the older boy feel badly if he just turned him down and went straight back to bed.

Seto was surprisingly sensitive when he was trying to take care of him and make sure he stayed healthy.

Smiling at the thought of the brunet's easily ruffled feathers, he sighed, then slowly dragged himself out of bed and made his way downstairs. When he reached the foot of the stairs, however, his 'Seto's-done-something-stupid' senses began tingling.

Joey froze, shivering slightly, then frowned and sniffed the air. Was that… was that _smoke?_ …Were they in his KITCHEN?

Sprinting into what he personally called His Kitchen, he was horrified when he saw smoke pouring from the open maw of the oven. When he saw flames licking at the poor piece of technology in a totally not-nice manner, and then saw the two brothers staring at the fire in the oven dumbly, he let loose a shriek that shook them out of their stupors. "WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?"

"Um… Um… what do we do?" Mokuba exclaimed, then turned to glare up at his brother. "This is your fault. I said we shouldn't do it."

"Oh, shut up, Mokuba," Seto mumbled, glaring back at him.

"Oh for the love of—" Joey growled and grabbed the fire extinguisher from under the sink, then turned to begin spraying the flaming… thing… in the oven. Once he was certain the fire was out, he turned toward them sharply, face twisted into a dark, angry expression. "What. Were. You. THINKING?"

"…Frankly… we probably weren't," the brunet replied sheepishly.

The younger teen made a violent motion with his hands—as if he was strangling someone. "Ngh! GCK-! AGH. YOU…" His eye twitched.

Mokuba glanced between them for only a few seconds before he scampered from the kitchen. "I've got homework!"

Seto squeaked in the back of his throat, then quickly turned his gaze back on the blond and took a step back. "…It was all out of love for you, I swear!"

"…You killed my _oven,_" Joey hissed, glaring at him. "Give me one reason I shouldn't _kill you._"

"…I… can't really think of one," the brunet replied after a moment, frowning.

At the admission that his lover knew he was wrong, the blond sighed and sagged in defeat. "…Why didja do it, Seto?"

Seeing that he would not be beaten into a pulp, Seto stepped close and pulled him into his arms. "I just didn't want to make you get up and have to make dinner for us or make you go out when you were obviously so tired. I'm sorry."

Joey sighed again, then lifted his arms to hug him back. "Oh, Seto, ya hopeless romantic. That's almost pathetically sweet."

"…You did that to me," the older boy mumbled, frowning. "You made me love you, and I take care of the people I love."

"I know. I love ya too. But ya didn't hafta put yourselves in danger just t' keep me happy, ya idiot." The blond nuzzled his throat lovingly. "…'m not that hungry, anyway. Are you?"

Seto sighed and leaned his face into the blond's hair. "I guess not. Burning food sort of makes me lose my appetite."

"Leave some money so Mokuba can order a pizza and come t' bed with me, then," Joey cooed, pressing a quick kiss to his throat. "We can go t' bed, and then, if we wake up nice and early, we can… do some… things…"

The brunet hummed and tilted his head to give him more room, then murmured, "Is that really a good idea after how tired you were after work today?"

"Mm, I can deal with it. Besides, I don't mind being a little tired if I get t' spend time with you…" The younger boy kissed his neck a little while longer before grabbing his hands and smiling sweetly. "Come t' bed with me."

Seto only paused long enough to toss his wallet onto the table before following his lover obediently. "Okay, puppy."


	103. Nymphs: M

Author's Note: So I realize this is a little long for a drabble, but it just didn't seem to fit as a one-shot, and it's not as detailed as a single story would be. I only intended it as a drabble, anyway, so how it morphed into this… I have no idea.

Now, about the plot… I actually got the idea from watching "The Odyssey." YEAH, I'm that lame. -_- It's like an OdysseusxCalypso thing, except not. Anyway, tell me what you think of it, okay? Because I can't tell whether this is good or just… okay. **:|** ALSO! The names were changed to make the boys sound more... nymph-ish. Because really, you hear the names "Joey" or "Malik" and then the word "nymph" and all you think is "-omaniac? :D" WRONG I meant the mythical kind. Though that is a clever joke. XD

Nymphs

Seto narrowed his eyes as he took in the scene before him—not angry, but more a calculating glance as to determine in next move. The room he had come into was some sort of a bedroom, he decided; the floor was strewn with various pillows of different size and shape, though most were large and in separate piles for each of the room's four owners. The room was done in dark cream colors and crimson drapes, giving the room a calm, rich appearance—as did the four nymphs that called the little island their home.

His companions had already fallen to temptation, forms changed until their own opponents wished to change them back. The game had been simple: take a sip of wine from the cup; if you remained human in form, you won, and if you changed, to the victor goes the spoils. He took another glance at them.

Yami had gone first, full of himself as always, as he went up against a nymph that looked very much like him. He saw that his new form suited him though; Yami was a king, and so had taken the form of a King of the Jungle. His feline body was mostly black, his stomach and toes tinged emerald and his thick mane an almost blinding yellow in comparison. Even as a lion, though, he looked just as indifferent to his situation as he usually did.

Bakura had gone next against the meeker version of himself, confident that he would do better than the king. He had been overly arrogant, though, as his form had shifted to that of a relatively large, albino coyote—which fit, as the man was a thief by trade and was only working with them because of necessity.

Marik had gone then, swearing to free his companions so they could leave the island again. Unfortunately, his form had changed as well to that of a light-furred monkey. His lookalike was gleeful at this and had immediately offered him a banana; Marik had shamelessly accepted.

The three nymphs that had defeated them were lounging casually, either reading, writing, or playing a flute. The humans-turned-animals were not far from them. Yami was currently having his mane stroked by his nymph's small hand as he read, one paw curling and relaxing in a kneading motion as his eyes closed lazily. Bakura was allowing his nymph to use him as a sort of table as he scrawled something on a scroll, only twitching his ears whenever the nymph murmured quietly to himself. Marik—oh, _Marik._ He was dancing playfully as his own nymph played the flute, both looking entirely unconcerned with the current situation.

Seto's eye twitched. He should just leave them here. He really should.

But then his eyes turned on the blond strewn across some pillows, clad in white robes that only went down to his thighs. He was drawing something, though Seto couldn't tell what—too distracted by the uncovered length of his legs. He realized he shouldn't allow it, as he'd been warned not to get distracted among these tricky nymphs, but it had been a while since he'd indulged in carnal pleasures.

The blond looked up at him abruptly, then smiled a smile that had the human swallowing thickly as the nymph stood and sauntered over to him, hips swaying in a manner he found _quite_ pleasing to the eye. Coming to a stop before him, he placed his hands on his hips, tilting his head back to look up at him. "Well, you must be the travelling companion they insisted would come to get them. It took you a while. I think they might have begun to despair if my friends hadn't allowed them human forms and… _distracted_ them."

Seto scowled. That explained the stupid, _sated_ demeanors.

"Ah, ah, ah." The blond smiled and tapped the human's nose playfully. "Pay attention to _me._"

The brunet hummed and rolled his eyes in a disinterested manner. "I only came for my companions so we could leave. If you're quite finished-?" He stiffened as the nymph's arms slid up and curled around his neck, swallowing again when the blond's slim hips pressed against his own.

"Why not stay and play a while?" The nymph fluttered his golden eyelashes prettily.

"You must be Jeno," Seto murmured, wracking his brain for the other nymphs' names. "And those are Yui, Reo, and Mayik."

Jeno smiled sweetly. "Well, aren't you a clever human! No one's bothered to find out more about us before charging up here to challenge us. How… _refreshing._"

Seto was momentarily distracted by the nymph swiveling his hips, but quickly regained his control. "If you're quite finished trying to seduce me, I'd like to take my companions and leave."

The blond pouted for a moment before his lips curved back into a smile—more playful and wicked this time than the others. "Do you know the terms of the challenge, _Seto?_"

"I am under the impression that I will become your pet."

"Hmm, _mostly._" Jeno ran a finger over the brunet's lower lip casually. "The terms of this challenge are that for me to win, the wine must turn you into the animal that suits your personality—if that happens, you'll become my pet, and I'll be allowed to _use_ you whenever I please," he explained, grinding up against him to get the point across. He mewled quietly. "Oh, and I'll use you so often…"

Seto narrowed his eyes, any arousal he felt overpowered by fury at the nymph's audaciousness. "You have not yet won; don't _assume_ anything."

The blond raised an eyebrow. "No human has won yet; who's to say I won't win now?" He smiled again. "I see you as a stallion, now—a stallion in great need of _breaking._"

"If anyone will break it will be you," the human hissed, grabbing the blond's hair roughly and moving his mouth next to his ear. "And you will beg for me to stop, even for just a few minutes."

Jeno shuddered and let out a small moan, then turned a weak glare on him even as his cheeks tinted pink. "No human has been able to sate me yet. What makes you think you will?"

Seto smirked and placed a hand on his chest, giving him a small shove that made him stagger backward. "Because I've coupled with nymphs before, and _they_ have failed to sate _me._ But you've told me what will happen if _you_ win. So what will happen if _I_ win?"

"…You and your companions go free," the blond sighed, crossing his arms and waving it away carelessly. "But you won't win, so I see no point—" He gasped quietly as a hand on his chin jerked his face upward, making him stare up into the human's intense blue eyes. "Nn-!"

"Should I not also have the privilege of using you as I wish?" the brunet questioned, smirk growing. "After all, it appears my companions have had their fair shares of physical satisfaction. I, however, have not."

Jeno took a step back as an expression of uncertainty crossed his face. "…J-just what are you suggesting?"

"I am suggesting, my dear, that if I win, _you_ will become _my_ pet until I tire of you," Seto stated, then chuckled darkly as the blond slapped his hand away from his face. "And I'll _use_ you as often as I please."

The nymph blushed a little and looked back at his friends, who had stopped to look at him in concern. He bit his bottom lip, then looked back at the brunet, suddenly not as confident that he'd win. "…Fine. But you won't win, so it won't matter!" he stated after a minute more, glaring at him.

Seto shrugged and crossed his arms. "So be it. Where is this wine I'm supposed to drink?" He watched the blond walk over to a goblet set up on a pedestal, and he figured that it was not some simple wine.

Luckily, he'd gathered information before ever coming up to rescue his companions (after seriously debating just leaving without them), and so knew how to counter the magic that would force him into an animal form. He'd been hesitant when he was told he had to consume part of a poisonous plant, but he trusted the old man he'd talked to if only because he had no reason to lie.

Jeno turned toward him and raised an eyebrow, motioning at the goblet impatiently. "You're not going to get out of this now that you've challenged me. And, just because you were so rude to me, I'll make sure to make our coupling _quite_ torturous for you."

Seto hummed and walked over, tracing the edge of the goblet with a finger idly. "I can say the same for you." Ignoring the blond's indignant sputter, he lifted the goblet to his lips and took a sip.

Jeno watched him carefully, making sure he actually drank some of the wine. When he confirmed that yes, he had, but he hadn't turned into an animal, he began to pale. As he heard angry human curses behind him from where his friends were, he realized that he'd lost—and he _desperately_ wanted to just run away. But, he was a nymph of his word, and so he closed his eyes and bowed his head submissively.

He gasped as he was immediately thrown to the ground, then whimpered as his robes were torn away, spreading his legs obediently. "Please be gentle-! It's been so long since I've—_Kyaaaaaa!_"

The room was filled with the four nymphs' frantic screams of pleasure for quite some time.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Jeno panted weakly as his legs were finally allowed to fall uselessly onto the ground and mewed as the human stood up, looking quite pleased with himself. All he could do was lie there as the brunet went about redressing, chest heaving as he tried to gather enough strength to just turn onto his side. His rear still throbbed tenderly, and he shuddered as his body remembered the rough pounding it had been given.

He felt like a mess—wet and sticky and used like a whore. He was now, in all honesty. The brunet had won him and was allowed to use him whenever he liked for as long as he wished. And he'd been used for _hours;_ the brunet had been right when he'd said that Jeno would beg for him to stop for at least a moment. The brunet really _couldn't_ be sated easily! He trembled as he remembered the cool detachment the human had kept as they'd coupled—the least he could have done was _pretend_ he cared! He _had_ enjoyed it, at least until he was exhausted, but that wasn't the point—

He watched the humans dress and leave, then moaned as he finally managed to turn onto his side, legs twitching together protectively. He looked over at his friends, all of which looked pleased with themselves and were waving after the departing humans, then let out a sob and used what was left of his robes to cover himself.

"Jeno? What's wrong-?"

"Was he too rough on you?"

Jeno flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder before beginning to cry desolately. "At least your humans _liked_ you!"

The other three flinched. They hadn't been able to focus on him once their lookalikes had been turned back into humans, and so hadn't seen how their friend had been treated by the brunet; they'd never seen their friend so hurt. When the blond reached trembling fingers over to the parchment he'd been drawing on, they noticed the ink had been smudged carelessly and the material itself had been ripped almost clear through the middle. At least their books and instruments had been set aside safely.

Seto hadn't shown Jeno's gift any respect.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto growled as he found the entrance to the nymphs' home blocked by a solid rock wall. His companions were just as aggravated. They left for a week to get their affairs in order and when they came back, they were faced with bad weather, and then muddy conditions to get back up to the mountain 'cave' the nymphs lived in. Once they'd finally spent three days slogging through gritty mud, they'd found the cave sealed up.

So it had been _true._

The man Seto had gotten information about the nymphs from the first time had seen him and had mentioned that the nymphs had had enough fun and were back where they belonged—in nature. That meant they had to tramp a little further up the mountain to get to a lake, where the four nymphs found they got along best—two of them being water nymphs while the other two were, technically, dryads. And that meant _more mud._

The four men cursed but began slogging onward. They were certain that the reward in the end would be worth all of the mud they had to slosh through.

Once they heard laughter, they knew that the trek hadn't been in vain. Peering out from behind some trees, they found the four nymphs sitting halfway between the tree line and the lake, giving them both escape routes if they were happened upon and needed to flee. The three that looked like Marik, Bakura, and Yami were laughing over something that had been said, while Jeno was much more subdued, even frowning a little as his friends continued to joke around.

It seemed the other three realized that their friend wasn't as amused as they were, because then Mayik was up and playing his flute. Jeno looked like he would have preferred to continue sitting, but Yui and Reo were pulling him up to dance anyway. It took a while before he began to loosen up, but when he finally did, he began to smile and dance wildly with them, rolling his body along with his friends to the cheerful tune of the song Mayik was playing.

Marik shifted closer, and a twig snapped beneath his foot.

The four nymphs immediately froze. After a moment, they turned to face the direction the sound had come from. Seeing that they'd been found out, the four humans showed themselves.

Jeno let out a frightened bleat and turned to run immediately, leaving Seto only a few scant seconds to chase after him. However, just as his hand was about to close around the blond's wrist, there was a surge of energy, and he found himself holding onto a branch of a tree. Hearing squeals, he turned, only to see the two water nymphs disappear in splashes of water and the other dryad immediately turn into a tree where he was.

Seto turned back to the tree he was holding. Its branches trembled as if swaying in the wind, but there was no air current to cause such. It took a few moments, but eventually, he realized. "Are you frightened of me, little nymph?"

The leaves on the tree rustled. _"And why shouldn't I be?"_ The human could only watch as the leaves trembled further before the tree swayed—what he assumed would have been a sob, if trees could cry. _"At least I would have made you feel I cared for you when we coupled."_ The tree swayed again, a little longer this time. _"You… you don't even like me. At least your companions liked my friends!"_ The leaves stilled abruptly. Jeno was finished talking.

Seto turned, frustrated, and watched his companions instead. Marik was speaking (he couldn't hear him from this distance), and he seemed to be making headway, as Mayik's branches shifted to show he was listening. Bakura and Yami seemed to be doing well in negotiations, too, if the waterspouts they were speaking to were any indication. He ran an aggravated hand through his hair as he turned back to face the tree that was Jeno.

"Is it because of the way I treated you?" he asked after a moment. "Is it because I didn't allow you to rest when you begged me to?"

At first, he was certain that the tree would not reply. However, after a nervous tremor, the tree's leaves rustled again. _"I would have at least made you feel like I liked you. Why couldn't you do that for me?"_

"Because the only one I openly like is my brother. That moron, the one that looks like your friend Yui? He's my cousin. And I was _seriously_ thinking about just leaving him here with you and your friends for a while." Seto huffed and scowled. "If I'd known that it would lead to all this stress, I _would_ have."

The tree's leaves tittered in what the brunet assumed was amusement despite the situation. _"I have to admit that you looked like you'd just turn around and leave when you saw how unconcerned your friends were."_

"They aren't my friends. They're my traveling companions. _That_ one just happens to be related to me," the brunet spat, giving his cousin a glare. "I only travel with them because my brother is afraid I'll piss off the wrong god and I'll never make it home on my own. I don't see what he's so worried about. I'm perfectly polite as long as I'm not dealing with a moron." He tilted his head as he waited for another amused laugh. Instead, he felt a timid hand on his shoulder. Raising an eyebrow, the human looked over his shoulder. "Hmm. It must be convenient to be able to turn into a tree. But what if your enemy is need of lumber and is carrying an ax?"

Jeno frowned. "I would hope I could outrun a man in need of lumber and carrying an ax." The blond paused, then quietly asked, "…Do you think _I'm_ a moron?"

"You? …You were refreshing," the brunet deadpanned.

The nymph's brows furrowed together in confusion. "…I can't tell if you're serious when you use that tone."

"No, honestly, it was refreshing," Seto explained, then turned to face him. "Do you know how many people try to ingratiate themselves to me to have a chance with my cousin? It's disgusting; there's usually bribery or attempts at seduction."

Jeno's frown grew as this only seemed to perplex him further. "But… _I_ tried to seduce you."

The brunet snorted. "You did a much better job than most people. I actually wanted to ignore the fact that I needed to help my companions and just stay with you for a few days." He sighed quietly. "I really was looking forward to spending a while with you, but some… war thing came up that Yami really needed to be at. _I_ always planned on coming back, and when the others heard…" The human's expression darkened. "They invited themselves along."

"Oh. …So… you liked me trying to seduce you?" the nymph asked quietly. When the brunet nodded, he bit his bottom lip. "…Would you like me to try again?"

Seto hummed quietly and tilted his head, then snapped his arm around the blond's waist and dragged him into his lap. "I think you'll find that I don't need much seducing. In fact… just say the word and I'll take you anytime."

Jeno blushed brightly as the brunet pressed between his legs and glanced around frantically. "You're not going to go as long this time are you? Because last time I couldn't get up for an hour and a half, let alone walk!"

"Hmm, so you _weren't_ joking when you'd said it had been a while. Well, I'll just have to get you back in practice. After all… you're still my pet," the brunet cooed, then crushed their mouths together.

The nymph mewed helplessly as he was roughly flattened on his back, then gasped as his mouth was released, allowing him time to pant out a plea to his friends for help if the brunet didn't let him have a break when he begged for it, then moaned loudly as his legs were shoved upward. "Oh _yes!_"


	104. Aunt Flo: K Plus

Author's Note: Because you know you were all curious as to how that conversation went down. **X3**

Aunt Flo

"Mr. Kaiba?"

Seto froze on his way to his bedroom, then sighed in frustration. He'd been planning on a cold shower to wake up a little, but now he assumed he'd have to go buy more ice-cream sandwiches or something. Turning, he blinked in surprise as he found one of Mokuba's female friends peering up at him shyly, thighs pressed together in a manner that was reminiscent of one needing to use the restroom, but without the same tension one would usually have.

His 'I'M GONNA REGRET THIS' senses were tingling.

Sighing again, he crossed his arms. "Yes?"

The girl shifted her weight uncomfortably. "Um… I just found out that I… that my Aunt _Flo_ is visiting. She just got here." She clenched the hem of her skirt in her fists.

Seto blinked at her again. "…So, do you need me to give you a ride home…?"

"Are you kidding that would be totally embarrassing!" she squealed in horror.

The brunet's brows furrowed together in confusion. "…Don't you want to see your aunt?"

Her brows furrowed in disgust. "I _hate_ Aunt Flo!"

Seto felt helpless. "…Then I don't… understand…"

"…I need pads," the girl stated bluntly. "'Aunt Flo' is what a lot of girls call their periods. None of the other girls have _had_ periods yet, so I can't ask them. You can't tell me that with all the maids skulking around that there isn't _one_ pad in this building."

"…But… the maids have gone home, and…" Seto's brain would not compute. 'Aunt Flo' had not connected with 'period' yet. And it would probably take a while for his mind to even comprehend that the word 'pad' had been said—multiple times. "…I can't just go through their things… And I don't even know what bathroom they might be using…"

She looked up at him pleadingly, eyes shining with tears. "Could you… could you go out and buy me some? I-I don't want the others to know…" She looked down in shame. "That would be _so_ embarrassing! I'd rather die!"

Seto was well aware that this was a crucial time in a girl's life; being teased by her friends, as good-natured as it may be, might hurt her psyche irreparably. He just couldn't do that to this poor girl. "I'll see what I can do," he sighed. "You better get back to your friends before they get suspicious."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Kaiba! You're the best!" she squealed, all traces of tears gone.

The brunet sighed again. "What game are you guys playing, anyway?"

She froze. "…Um… 'Spin the Bottle.'"

Seto frowned. "I don't remember buying that game for him."

"…Someone else brought it!" she squeaked, unable to believe her luck that her friend's older brother was just _that_ stupid. "Well, I don't want to miss anymore! If you just leave them in the bathroom when you get back, I'll take care of the rest!"

The teen watched her scamper off and raised an eyebrow in confusion. He wondered what the game was about, and he also wondered how girls had _ever_ come up with the codename Aunt Flo.

Then it hit him. He had to buy _pads._ HOW DID ONE GO ABOUT BUYING PADS?


	105. False Impression: T

Author's Note: And so begins the Pirate Drabbles. Yes, the next few are pirate-themed. BLAME WILLOWSNAKE. Or thank. Whatev.

False Impression

"I was told ya needed to unwind."

Seto looked up from his journal sharply, face already twisted into an angry glare, but he froze when he saw long, black-clad legs.

Following the legs upward, he saw a white cotton tunic, a thick black belt making it fit the person's lithe form. The tunic was low cut, making it clear that the person was male while showing off a very nice looking collarbone. His face was smooth and very pretty, with an almost unnoticeable dusting of freckles across his cheeks and underneath his big, brown eyes. His eyes, dark with a mischievous glint, were partially covered by blond bangs, and the captain realized belatedly that if he had wanted to send the whore away without embarrassing himself, he'd have to work very hard; he was quite fond of blonds, after all.

Sitting up straight, he sighed in annoyance. "And just who told you that? Who are you?"

"The name's Joey." The blond shrugged and stepped out of the doorway, shutting the door casually behind him. "I suppose it was part of your crew. They were quite adamant I come and take your cock down my throat." He smiled lewdly. "And I'm certainly willing to, if that's what ya want."

Seto leaned back in his seat and laced his fingers together as he examined the blond moving closer to his desk. "And what if I'm not in the mood?" When the other man gave him a deadpanned stare, he pulled a bottle of rum from the cabinet of his desk and set it on top of the desk. "Have a seat."

"…Okay…" Joey was obviously unnerved at not being immediately sent away or put to use, but he took the seat across the desk from him and eyed the bottle of rum skeptically. "So, ya gonna use me? Or are we just gonna sit here like ladies having tea?"

Seeing that the blond wasn't going to touch it, he pulled out two goblets and poured some of the rum in them. Then, he took one of the goblets and took a sip, just to prove there was nothing wrong with it.

When he saw that the rum wasn't drugged, the younger man was happy to take the other goblet and begin to drink. "Hmm, such a gentleman." He peered up at the brunet and smirked. "Do you always treat prostitutes so well?"

"Mm. I can't decide whether I want to take the chance or not." The captain shrugged. "I've managed to live _this_ long without any sexual diseases, so taking a chance with you—"

"I'm _perfectly clean!_" the blond snarled, standing up in indignation as he slammed the goblet back on the desk. "Because unlike _some_ people, I have standards!"

Seto raised an eyebrow. "You're a whore."

"A whore with _standards!_ I'm not cheap, ya know! Do you know how much your crew had to offer me to come in here and fuck you! I'm tons of gold richer!" The blond huffed, then turned to stomp to the door. "Never _mind_ then—" He yipped as a hand caught the back of his shirt and yanked him back, making him tumble onto the desk. A moment later had him pressed back against the brunet's chest, rum soaking into his pants as he tried to grasp what had happened. "What the he—" He mewled and immediately reached back to grab the brunet's hair as the captain of the ship palmed his crotch. "Aha-!"

"Well, if my crew feels that I need to loosen up a little, I suppose I really shouldn't turn down their gift," the brunet cooed into his ear, then began rubbing the younger man through his pants. "I must admit, you're the prettiest whore I've ever had."

Joey whimpered and arched into his hand, head falling back onto the brunet's shoulder as he mewled wantonly. "Oh yes…! Nn, please—" He clawed desperately at the tie of his pants until he fumbled it open. "Please—inside—"

Seto hummed as his hand was drawn inside the blond's pants and nuzzled his throat. "Well, you certainly changed your tune quickly enough. I see that you like to be manhandled."

"If I didn't like men handling me I'd be a terrible whore," the younger boy panted, arching into his hands. "Oh yes… Like that…"

"Hmm… Perhaps we should take this to the bed…"

"Just keep touchin' me and we can do it anywhere ya want," Joey purred, then turned his head to suckle his earlobe. "You're the customer, after all."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto moaned as he came back to awareness. Once he remembered the immediate cause of his unconsciousness, however, he couldn't help a smile. "Mm…"

Joey had been a very good lover; he was responsive, he was sensitive, and he gave as good as he got—as long as he wasn't screaming, that is, as from the first time Seto had impaled him, he'd dug his nails into his back and just held on, bucking wildly up to him. Seto decided he didn't mind the screaming and bucking, either.

He frowned when he didn't feel the necklace he always wore against his skin—nor could he feel the whore cuddled up to him. Sitting up abruptly, he frantically searched the bed and found a hastily scrawled note. He read it quickly before letting out a furious roar. "DAMN IT!"

As he began dressing, ready to track down the damn whore, the note fluttered to the ground, where it lay in a seemingly innocent way until someone else came across it.

_Thanks for the drink and the loot, Captain! You were good last night. We should get together again sometime._

_Cheers!_

_Joseph Wheeler_

_PS—Yeah, I guess I gave off the false impression of being a whore. Your crew hired a thief to have sex with you without even asking me if I __**was**__ a whore. What sort of idiots are on your crew, anyway? You might want to have a talk with them about hiring whores for you, especially if they're not going to be onboard to make sure I __**don't**__ steal anything. Just a suggestion. __**:**__3_


	106. Rum and Water: T

Rum and Water

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say… you want rum," Joey guessed, smiling a little as he stopped at the newly filled table of pirates.

Amidst the cacophony of 'aye's, however, was one 'no.'

He blinked at the brunet in surprise. "Oh. Um, okay. What _do_ you want?"

"Water. _Clean_ water," he mumbled, expression darkening. When his shipmates began heckling him, however, he let out a disgusted grunt and stood, stalking over to the bar. His fury was almost tangible.

Joey bit his bottom lip anxiously before nodding a little and making his way back behind the bar himself. He was, however, immediately accosted by his friend, Téa. "Ow, what the—"

"Joey oh my God it's the Dragon Captain!" she squeaked, clenching onto his shoulders frantically. "The one they say will slice off your head if you so much as annoy him! Don't make me serve him!"

"…All he wants is water—" the blond began, but when his friend's eyes began to fill with frightened tears, he sighed and shoved his tray into her hands. "His… _companions…_ want rum. Like every other pirate in here."

"Thank you so much Joey I'll make this up to you I swear!" she squealed happily, then scampered away.

Joey blinked, still somewhat stunned, then shook his head and sighed as he went back into the kitchen. Grabbing a mug, he pumped some water into it, then walked back out to the bar; at least if he worked the bar, he'd get some tips—

…The bar had cleared except for _him._

The blond growled in the back of his throat angrily. Okay, so if this guy really _was_ the 'Dragon Captain' (which he didn't buy, because this guy was only maybe a couple years older than him), he could understand if the first _few_ people on either of his sides ran away, but _everyone at the bar?_

Slamming the cup down on the bar in front of him, he grunted, "_Here._" Then, he turned his attention to the bottles behind him, pointedly ignoring Scary McBastard that had just cost him some tips.

"Hey. You."

Joey sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, scowling as he tried to decide whether he wanted to acknowledge him or not, then finally turned to face him. "_What._"

The brunet hummed and traced the edge of his glass. "I'm bored. Talk to me."

"…No," he replied shortly, then turned back to the bottles he'd been rearranging. He paused only for a moment as the tavern went silent before he continued what he'd been doing. Only when the silence continued did he turn, glare at the other patrons, and roar, "_WHAT?_"

The talking started back up immediately.

The pirate at the bar chuckled quietly and took a sip of his water. "Mm, feisty. And loud."

"Do you know how loud I hafta get sometimes t' get heard over these morons?" Joey exclaimed, turning back to him. He paused, then glared at him, slamming his hands on the bar. "Just who the hell do you think ya are, anyway? Scarin' my friend, scarin' my customers—"

Suddenly, the only thing he saw was the barrel of a gun in his face. Joey stared at it for a few moments before turning his gaze on the man aiming it at him, trembling a little. He was not afraid of guns, and he was not afraid of pirates; he just didn't want his friends and coworkers to have to _watch_ him die.

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "Well? Aren't you going to beg for your life?"

"…I would like not to die in front of my friends, please," Joey replied quietly, and nearly jumped as he heard a click. But then the gun was withdrawn, and he let out a silent breath of relief. He was immediately horrified again when his world began to spin, and suddenly he was looking down at the hardwood floor of the tavern. "…OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL!"

"We'll be staying in port a few days longer than planned," the pirate stated, to which the other men cheered.

"Wha-! What are ya doin'? Put me down!" Joey exclaimed, squirming when he realized he'd been thrown over the other man's shoulder. "I—"

The brunet rolled his eyes. "You made it clear that you did not want your friends to see you suffer."

"Wait!" The younger man looked at him in confusion. "You're still gonna kill me!"

"No. Just torture you." The pirate hummed and turned his head to smirk at him when the blond gasped. "I'm going to tie you to my bed and torture you for hours. And, since we'll be on _my_ ship, no one will come to your rescue."

Joey growled and slammed his fists into the brunet's back, struggling wildly. "You pervert, you bastard—I never said I wanted this! And I—" He choked as he saw the name of the ship they were boarding. "The _White Dragon?_" He gasped in realization, then groaned and covered his face. "Oh, God, you _are_ Dragon Captain Seto Kaiba!"

"Seto will be just fine when you scream your release," Seto replied, patting his hip in what he probably thought was a soothing manner.

"I never said I wanted this! This—this is rape! I don't want—" The blond whimpered as they made it onto the deck of the ship. "…You're really doin' this…!"

"Please, I'm a pirate. I pillage and plunder for a living." The brunet smirked and glanced back at him again. "So I plan on pillaging and plundering _you._"

Joey let out a frustrated howl. "I just want the record straight that I didn't want this and if I stop sayin' no in the middle of it it's because I've been in great need of sex anyway!"

Seto chuckled quietly. "Don't worry. I plan on making it just as good for you as it is for me."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey growled as he felt light hitting his face and turned, snuggling into the firm body he was strewn next to. After a moment, he frowned, then opened his eyes in confusion. "Mm?" He squeaked when he saw blue eyes staring back at him and quickly squeezed his eyes shut. "Nyo!"

Seto chuckled and dipped his head to press a kiss against his forehead. "Still so cute even after all I've done to you." When the blond trembled against him, he pulled him closer. "No need to be embarrassed. I can assure you that I enjoyed it just as much as you did."

"…How often do ya do this t' other people?" Joey mumbled, frowning. "How many other people have ya done this to?"

The brunet snorted and let his eyes drift closed in annoyance. "Don't speak as if I do this on a regular basis. If I find someone appealing enough, I'll suggest sex. It's not like I propose the idea to everyone."

"Ya didn't just _suggest_ it t' me! Ya demanded—and didn't take no for an answer!" The younger boy blushed. "…Even if I did like it, I said no at first."

"Yes, well, you're the first person I've wanted badly enough to bring you back to my ship." Seto sighed and tightened his grip on him. "I've usually just gone back to barmaids' rooms, or even alleyways. But you're prettier than all the other people I've lain with."

Joey thought about it for a while before hesitantly smiling. "I'm the prettiest person you've ever slept with?"

"Yes."

"And I'm the only one you've brought back to your ship?"

"Yes."

"…I suppose I can live with that," the blond sighed, snuggling up to him again.

Seto lifted a hand to gently stroke his hair. "Yes, and so can I. Go back to sleep."

The younger boy yawned. "Okay…"

The brunet glanced down at him and smiled a little. He wouldn't explain until _after_ they'd shipped off that he'd be traveling as his… _personal barmaid._ He was certain the blond would throw a tantrum for that, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to it.

After all… most people were too afraid of him to yell at him—or even _try_ to defy him, really. He wasn't going to let this refreshing little treat go.


	107. Cabin Boy 1: T

Author's Note: After much deliberation, I have decided to post all three of the "cabin boy Joey" stories. I would like to point out right now that they ALL have the same introduction. The first two paragraphs of the drabble and the next two are _exactly_ alike. This is just three different results I got from said introduction. BE AMAZED. And please don't comment that the introductions are all the same. -_- I already _know_ that, and that just proves that _you didn't read the author's note._ They're very important, you know! And they're witty enough that you don't suffer _too_ much reading them!

Cabin Boy

Joey peeked around anxiously, biting his bottom lip as he checked for any other guards. He didn't really need to worry, though; the rest of the men were in town, indulging in wine and women—or rum, they probably didn't care as long as they got falling-down drunk. Any of the pirates still left on the ship were below deck, partaking in their shares of booze as well. So, of course, no one was keeping an eye on the lowly cabin boy.

Once sure that no one was watching him, he made his way to the Captain's quarters and peered into his office. After confirming that the Captain was in town as well, he stepped into the cabin. He took a moment to admire everything—the shelves of books, the rich, cherry-colored desk, the plush-looking bed covered in thick blankets in the corner… He truly envied the Captain sometimes. Hammocks were in no way comfortable if you slept under someone three times your weight.

Wincing as he remembered that this was the _Captain's_ cabin, he scrambled to the desk, searching frantically for anything with his name on it. He just wanted to find the slip with his name, showing that he'd been bought and paid for and was now legally Captain Seto Kaiba's slave. If he got it—if he could burn it—then he'd be free and he wouldn't have to work on the godforsaken _White Dragon_ anymore!

Joey let out a cry of triumph as he saw his name and immediately shoved all of the other papers out of the way. He was disappointed to find it wasn't the bill of sale he was looking for. However, when he realized it was the Captain's journal, he paused. He debated whether he'd really want to read the journal, as it was probably just full of facts and complaints about how utterly incompetent the rest of the crew was. But his name was right there, so…

Sighing, he shook his head. "I'm gonna regret this one of these days…"

_August 17_

_Chilly morning, but warmed up as the day went on. Partly cloudy._

_Docked today—little town called Domino. My hometown. Plan to visit Mokuba. Hope Atem hasn't been too bad of an influence._

_Joey missing. Probably sulking somewhere. Still pissed about being owned—day 173 of having him in every way but the one I want. Want to give him birthday gift; still don't know said birthday because Joey is a sulky, bitchy mutt._

_Will continue to wait for mutt to tell me. Until then, gift continues to gather dust in bureau._

_Hope Mokuba likes gifts. Did not know what to get for him at his age. All children like gold and jewels, right?_

Joey frowned. Seto had gotten him a gift? He had gotten him a gift and was just _waiting_ to give it to him? That made no sense!

Eyes drifting toward the bureau, he bit his bottom lip thoughtfully. His gift was in there. If he just… took a peek, Seto would never know, right? With each step closer he took, however, he felt his nervousness grow. Perhaps it was because he'd be looking through Seto's personal things? That was probably it, though he didn't see why he should care, after having to suffer on the stupid ship for so long—

It was an envelope.

Joey stared at the envelope lying so innocently on top of a pile of clothes that didn't look nearly as rich as Seto's did. He wanted to see what was inside it, but he was afraid of what it might be. What if it was something worse than being owned? He didn't want that to be true, but… Seto had it in him to be cruel; after all, many an enemy ship had been crushed without even the batting of an eyelash.

In the end, it was too much. Opening the envelope with trembling fingers, he pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper. Seeing that it was bill of sale Seto had received after buying him, he whimpered. He pulled out a second piece of paper—nicer, cleaner—and his knees buckled.

_I, Seto Kaiba, do hereby release Joseph Wheeler from his life of bondage. He shall be neither slave nor servant; he is a free man and should be treated as such._

Seto was… going to free him. He was going to free him after he'd trusted him with even the smallest piece of his past. Seto had only wanted to know his birthday, and… he'd continually spat denials in his face.

Joey heard the door open, but he couldn't find the strength to look up, even as he listened to the heavy boots coming closer. If he was punished for this—for coming into the Captain's cabin and snooping around—he supposed he deserved it. It wasn't as if Seto was a bad master. Besides, even if he was freed… What would he do?

"…I see you've found it," Seto stated, crossing his arms. "I expected as much."

"Yes," the blond replied quietly.

The older boy hummed and tilted his head thoughtfully. "And here I thought you would have run as soon as you found it." He waited for some sort of snarky answer, but when he received none, he grew concerned. Kneeling beside the prone blond, he frowned. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"You… Ya woulda given me my freedom if I'd just told ya my birthday," Joey answered shakily. He turned his eyes on the brunet and whimpered. "You were never bad t' me like some o' my masters were. I coulda trusted you."

Seto's brows furrowed together at that admission. "Why didn't you?"

"…I saw the way ya looked at me. I was just waitin' for ya t' order me t' sleep with ya." The blond trembled as he forced all of his tears back; he knew that if he let one escape, he'd let loose the whole flood. "Why didn't ya do it? No one would've stopped ya."

"I didn't want to _order_ you to sleep with me," the brunet sighed, rolling his eyes. "I wanted you to come willingly."

"Well I woulda been willin' as long as ya didn't completely suck at it," Joey mumbled, blushing a little. "I like sex and you're not that bad-lookin'."

Seto's eyebrow twitched. "…You like sex and I'm not bad-looking. Are you really _that_ easy?" When the blond bowed his head and nodded in embarrassment, he let out an angry snarl. "So all I had to do was _ask_ and you would have had sex with me!"

"…W-well it's been a while since I've slept with anyone, so…" The blond yelped as he was shoved onto his back, then looked up in confusion. "Wha—"

"Then your first act as a free man will be to have some consensual sex. Right now. Right here," Seto growled, before dipping his head to crush the other boy's mouth with his own.

Joey mewled as the brunet pressed between his legs. "Mm!" Shoving him away for at least a moment, he gasped, "I'd really rather do it on your bed—"

He was unceremoniously thrown. Then, he was ravished.


	108. Cabin Boy 2: T

Cabin Boy

Joey peeked around anxiously, biting his bottom lip as he checked for any other guards. He didn't really need to worry, though; the rest of the men were in town, indulging in wine and women—or rum, they probably didn't care as long as they got falling-down drunk. Any of the pirates still left on the ship were below deck, partaking in their shares of booze as well. So, of course, no one was keeping an eye on the lowly cabin boy.

Once sure that no one was watching him, he made his way to the Captain's quarters and peered into his office. After confirming that the Captain was in town as well, he stepped into the cabin. He took a moment to admire everything—the shelves of books, the rich, cherry-colored desk, the plush-looking bed covered in thick blankets in the corner… He truly envied the Captain sometimes. Hammocks were in no way comfortable if you slept under someone three times your weight.

Remembering where he was and who would soon be coming back, he squeaked, then hurried to the desk so he could look for the ship's log. He'd been told it was like an initiation thing. Unfortunately, for him, it was more of a 'get it for me or I'll beat the shit out of you' thing. He didn't know why the guy wanted the captain's log, but he was way too big and had way too many lackeys for him to just say, 'sorry, don't feel like havin' the Captain make me walk the plank' and then beating the crap out of him.

If he was caught, he just _knew_ he was going to be thrown to the sharks. Unfortunately, if he didn't get the log book, he had the feeling he'd be thrown to the sharks anyway.

WHERE THE HELL WAS IT? He was _not_ going to die this young!

Joey felt his blood run cold as he heard shouting on deck—one-sided shouting, which meant that one of the parties _couldn't_ yell back. That meant that the Captain was back! AND HE WAS STILL IN HIS CABIN.

He looked around for an escape but could find none; the windows were too small and there was no other door. Oh God! He was going to have to walk the plank! He'd be fed to the sharks!

Casting around for any hope of escaping death (or being flogged in front of his shipmates), his eyes lit upon the bed. He remembered some of the looks the Captain had given him; furtive little looks with darkened eyes as he licked his lips. It had been a look that had screamed 'sex now please!' He'd pretended to ignore it, and the Captain had pretended that he didn't _know_ he was ignoring it, and… and…

And now he needed some way to _not_ die and this seemed like the obvious solution!

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto scowled as he stalked toward his cabin; he just _knew_ that guy with the scar on his face was planning a mutiny. He could only hope his little puppy-eyed cabin boy wasn't part of the coup when it happened. Letting out a sigh of frustration, he shoved the door to his cabin open, stepped inside, then slammed it shut and locked it. "Damn traitorous sea raaa…ts." He blinked in confusion, then tilted his head.

Was he fantasizing again? He usually had control over those. However, if he was, he honestly couldn't complain.

His puppy was lying on his bed on his side, his head propped up on his hand as he looked at him with heavy-lidded eyes. His free hand was not idle. Seto watched as the calloused fingers slid up his side, dragging up the cloth of his shirt and exposing some supple flesh that was just _begging_ to be given love bites.

Abruptly, any blood in the brunet's head went surging to his groin. Swallowing thickly, Seto cast around frantically in his empty mind for something to say. When he found nothing, he finally managed a cracked, "Puppy?"

Joey hummed and let his eyes drift closed as he slid his hand back down, fingertips dipping just below the hem of his pants. "I can be whatever you want me to be, Captain."

The brunet felt any control he had left snap as the younger boy's pants slid down, just barely exposing a trail of blond hair that he wanted to follow like a treasure map to the pup's family jewels.

"Ah-! Captain!" The blond gasped as he was immediately rolled onto his back and flattened onto the mattress. "Captain! You're _crushin' me!_" Any other complaints he would have made were smothered when the brunet's tongue was thrust into his mouth, and he found himself surprised by how much raw need and _want_ was forced on him. He reached up and grabbed at the older boy's back, clenching the leather of his coat tightly as he allowed his captain to show him just how much he had _truly_ wanted him. "Mm!"

Seto eased up a little when he felt the cabin boy begin to kiss him back fervently, lifting some of his weight from the blond's slenderer body. He took a few moments to enjoy the taste he'd been craving for so long before he finally broke the kiss, instead moving his mouth to the blond's throat to begin sucking and biting a bruise there. "Mine…"

"Captain-! Please! I-I—Ooh…" Joey shuddered and arched up against him. "That's nice…"

Seto took a few minutes to make the mark nice and dark before leaning back and giving the blond a dark glare. "What are you doing in here?"

"…Oh… God…" The younger boy trembled a little and let his head fall to the side weakly. "Waitin' for my captain t' use me…"

"You know what I mean. What were you doing _before_ you decided to do this to save your ass," the captain deadpanned, sitting up straight.

Joey mewled at the loss and looked up at him in confusion. "…Captain…"

"What were you looking for, Joey?"

"…Log book," the blond mumbled in defeat, flinching at the hurt expression that momentarily flashed across the older boy's face. "Captain…"

Seto scowled. "Why do you need my log book? You can't read."

"Hirutani wanted it I swear-! I just don't want him t' throw me off the ship and get left behind for the fish!" Joey exclaimed frantically. "Don't make me walk the plank, Captain! I didn't wanna do it I swear! Don't kill me!"

"Hirutani…" The brunet hissed in disgust. "Perhaps I'll just make _him_ walk the plank, then. _You,_ on the other hand—" He paused, then shrugged. "Flogging, I suppose. Thirty lashes, bareback."

The blond winced, biting his bottom lip, then reached up and grabbed the shoulders of his jacket. "Can ya at least finish what ya were doin' then? 'cause I don't think I could take it after a floggin'."

Seto frowned. "What?"

"…Sex? You were gonna do me, and then ya stopped. Ya still wanna, don't ya? So we need t' do it before my floggin' or ya won't be able t' do me as hard as I want you to." Joey peered up at him pleadingly. "Ya still wanna do it, right? Yer a really good kisser and I like havin' ya do those things t' me."

The captain was, at first, quite confused. When he realized what he was being told, however, he let out a roar and dove on top of him again. "_Mine!_" He'd take care of Hirutani and his traitorous gang later; right now, he had a cabin boy to punish.

"Crushin' me again!" the blond wheezed. "Captain—crushin' me again-!" Then he was being thoroughly kissed and he stopped caring.


	109. Cabin Boy 3: T

Cabin Boy

Joey peeked around anxiously, biting his bottom lip as he checked for any other guards. He didn't really need to worry, though; the rest of the men were in town, indulging in wine and women—or rum, they probably didn't care as long as they got falling-down drunk. Any of the pirates still left on the ship were below deck, partaking in their shares of booze as well. So, of course, no one was keeping an eye on the lowly cabin boy.

Once sure that no one was watching him, he made his way to the Captain's quarters and peered into his office. After confirming that the Captain was in town as well, he stepped into the cabin. He took a moment to admire everything—the shelves of books, the rich, cherry-colored desk, the plush-looking bed covered in thick blankets in the corner… He truly envied the Captain sometimes. Hammocks were in no way comfortable if you slept under someone three times your weight.

He needed to get off the damn ship; he was tired of running back and forth for someone who was only two years older than he was! …Perhaps he'd be a little more tolerant if the captain would _stop molesting him._

Weren't captains supposed to chase after barmaids or something instead of cabin boys? Because Seto Kaiba didn't seem to have gotten the message!

Huffing in frustration, he stomped over to the bed and glared at it. He didn't see what was so great about it. It probably wasn't even as comfortable as a hammock! Hammocks were able to swing you to sleep—this bed, built into part of the ship, was probably hard and not nearly as easy to fall asleep in-!

Joey bit his bottom lip again, then hesitantly climbed onto the mattress and lay down on his side. He nearly moaned as he sank into the plush mattress; he wanted to pull the blankets over him and fall asleep forever. Okay, it was official; hammocks really _did_ suck and the captain got all the nice things.

He sighed and snuggled in a little deeper, then let out a grumble and stood. And to think, the captain had offered to share it with him! …For certain personal favors, of course. And by personal he meant sex.

Spying a mirror, he went to go stand in front of it and tilted his head, frowning. _'Why is he so adamant about gettin' me in bed, anyway?'_

He was sort of on the skinny side, though he mostly attributed that to his sea-sickness that attacked him randomly and the fact that he had to run up and down the ship delivering messages while doing a dozen other jobs. He supposed it was probably his hair that attracted the captain; it was long like a girl's, and was in great need of a cut. He wasn't exactly that good-looking, after all—not compared to the captain himself—and he had a spitfire temper that got him into fights most of the time…

Well… He was _kind of_ good-looking, he supposed.

"What are you doing?"

Joey yelped and turned quickly, tumbling backward into the mirror. It gave backward, and he suddenly found himself being attacked by clothes. Squealing, he scrambled out of the bureau, slammed it shut, and turned to face the brunet that was giving him a decidedly confused look. "Nothin'!"

"…I don't believe you," Seto stated, eyes narrowing. "Explain or die."

The blond smothered the urge to whimper. "W-well, everyone was gone or drunk, and I wasn't in the mood t' drink, and there was nothin' else t' do, so—"

"So you snooped in the captain's cabin," the brunet finished, scowling. "Are you completely daft? I could punish you for less."

Joey sighed and looked down at his feet. "…I know."

"And would you really risk being punished simply because you're _bored?_" Seto waited for an answer. However, when none was forthcoming, he was stunned. "Oh my God, you _would._"

"I don't _think_ about things when I'm bored!" the blond exclaimed in exasperation.

"_That_ is obvious." The captain tilted his head thoughtfully, frowning, before his lips twisted into a particularly aggravating smirk. "Or perhaps you've finally decided to take me up on my offer and are suddenly too embarrassed."

Joey took a step back in confusion, disliking the sudden predatory gaze he was being given. "…A-and what offer was that again?" He swallowed thickly as the older boy began toward him and started a retreat, taking two steps back for every one the brunet took forward. Unfortunately, that got him against a wall much sooner than he would have liked.

Seto was just fine with that. Placing his hands on the wall on either side of the blond's head, he leaned in so there was only a little space between their faces. "The offer to share my bed, of course."

"…Oh! That offer!" the blond squeaked. "I-I forgot about that one!"

The captain smirked and brushed his lips over his ear. "Did you? Or are you just playing coy?"

"Not coy! Oh God!" Joey whimpered as the brunet pressed up against him and reached up to grab his shoulders. "Nng-! Ahn-!" Any pleas he would have made were muffled when he found the older boy's lips against his own. He squeaked helplessly before letting his head fall back in submission, allowing the brunet to dominate his mouth.

It was surprisingly pleasant. The blond mewed and slid his arms around his back to pull him closer, gasping as the older boy grabbed his thighs and lifted him upward. He whimpered and hooked his legs around his waist, then wiggled uncomfortably; something was digging into his back and he felt something decidedly hard between his legs.

Breaking the kiss, he gasped and turned his head away. "Captain—hurts—" Abruptly, he was on the comfy bed. It was decidedly less comfortable with the brunet on top of him and giving him bedroom eyes. "C-Captain, I—"

"Just call me Seto, Joey," Seto cooed, then began kissing and nipping his neck.

"Ah—but—Cap—Seto!" Joey gasped again and jerked his hips up when he felt the brunet's knee rubbing insistently between his legs. "Oh God don't touch me there!"

"But you like that, don't you?" The captain smirked wickedly. "Why do you want me to stop doing something that makes you feel good?"

"Oh God you're a monster!" The blond let out a yowl and threw his head back. "Captain!"

"I _have_ been called a monster before," Seto agreed, before attacking his mouth again.

Joey regretted ever walking into the cabin in his boredom. Then, he regretted ever denying the brunet's requests to share his bed.


	110. Crime and Punishment: T

Author's Note: A sequel since _False Impressions_ just seemed to demand one. It's longer. …And Seto shows his bastardiness again. Be impressed. And, if his thoughts change too suddenly for you… it's a drabble—a _longer_ drabble—and Seto is psychotic anyway, so his thoughts need not be explained. Just don't forget that, even though he ignores it a lot, Seto still has a heart. …Somewhere. Hey, don't look at me like that! I just know he has one! I don't know where it is!

Crime and Punishment

Joey yelped as he was slammed into one of the brick walls of the alley he'd been cutting through, whimpering quietly as he felt a knife digging into his back. "Nn-! Whatta ya want-?"

"Mostly, my necklace. However, I'd like the rest of my treasure on _principle._"

The blond gasped quietly, eyes widening when he recognized the voice. "Oh God!"

"I remember you saying that before. Multiple times. Right before you screamed that you were going to cum," Seto hissed, digging his knife in a little more. "Now we've got a different situation. Though, if I have my way, you'll still be screaming 'oh God' as I _carve you into pieces._"

Joey trembled a little and closed his eyes tightly. "O-okay, I'll go get your stuff! J-just wait here, an' I'll—_Ah!_" He winced as he felt the knife break the skin, digging his teeth into his bottom lip to keep from crying any louder.

The brunet growled angrily. "You must think I'm _stupid—_"

"No, no, no! Not stupid! I'm sorry!" The younger boy whimpered again. "I'll get your treasure just don't kill me…!" He gasped as he was spun around only to whimper again as he was shoved back up against the wall, aggravating the wound on his back. "Oh God!"

"Yes, I suggest you pray. Because I have _every_ intention of killing you," Seto hissed, glaring at him, as he slid his knife to rest against the blond's throat. "What do you say to that, pretty little _thief?_"

Joey gulped, shuddering as he felt the knife dig into his neck at the action. "I-I-I say that it seems a little fair!" He squeaked as the flat of the knife pressed harder against his throat, making it much harder to breathe. "—Extremely fair! Totally fair!" He gasped as the knife was pulled away and immediately grabbed his throat, coughing a little as he turned his body away protectively.

"Show me," the brunet ordered darkly, and the younger boy was made _quite_ aware of just who he was dealing with.

He'd doubted at first that he was really dealing with the Dragon Captain (he'd been so easy to seduce, after all, and then so easy to steal from), but now that he saw the brunet's fury, had seen his eyes nearly glow in anger, he knew that he'd picked the wrong pirate to mess with. After all, Seto Kaiba was known for making good on his threats.

People would probably be finding pieces of him long after the _White Dragon_ had set sail again.

"…Well? Are you going to show me or am I going to have to slice you up a little right here?" Seto snarled, making the blond jump into action.

Joey started to scamper away only to yelp as the brunet caught the back of his shirt and yanked him back. "Ack!"

The brunet growled. "_Walk._ We have plenty of time before I _kill you._"

"…Okay," the thief answered quietly in defeat. "Okay."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto felt his food surging upward as he saw the part of town the blond was living in despite having stolen most of his treasure, but somehow managed to choke the urge to vomit back down. The surroundings were dim and dirty, and as he was led down into another alley (the only place the little thief felt entirely comfortable, he noticed in distaste), he noticed the narrow spaces between the buildings and realized he didn't want to touch the walls, because he knew he'd feel disgusting until he took a bath if he did.

He noticed that the blond was carefully avoiding the walls as well.

Finally, Joey stopped in front of a dingy door in an isolated nook. He placed a hand on the latch, then hesitated. "…Kaiba?"

Seto scowled immediately. "What?"

"…Please… Could ya… could ya just leave a little? Even just a few coins… for my sister?" Joey bit his bottom lip as his request was met with cold silence. "…I-I know it's a lot t' ask for, b-but she needs the money until my friend comes t' check on her. He'll take care of her—we both knew I might not come back one day—"

"Does your sister know what you do for a living?" the brunet asked coldly.

The younger boy flinched. "…She doesn't know exactly, but she knows it's bad. …She… she thinks I'm a whore, even if she doesn't say anything." He smiled weakly. "I guess I just give off the impression of someone so desperate for money that he'd sell his body for it." He gasped as a hand on his shoulder turned him sharply, slamming him against the door roughly and aggravating his wound into bleeding again. "Ow-!"

"And how many people have you slept with and then stolen from? Because I'd say that _would_ make you a whore," Seto stated, glaring at him.

Joey trembled and bit his bottom lip again, trying to force back the tears of pain forming in his eyes. "I-I… I only ever slept with you." He shuddered as the brunet's fingers found his wound and dug into it. "Nn-! I mean I wasn't a virgin or anything when we had sex but it was the first time I stole from someone I slept with I just thought that maybe I wouldn't hafta steal anymore if I took all your treasure!" He sobbed weakly as the fingers dug in harder and began pounding on his shoulders. "Please, that hurts!"

"Of _course_ it hurts, you _dolt._" Seto scowled and ducked his head a little to see what he was doing, pushing him to lean over his shoulder so he had a better view. "You're _bleeding_ and I'm putting _pressure_ on it. That usually means pain."

"Why-!" The blond sobbed again and closed his eyes tightly, instead choosing to close his teeth on the tough leather of the older boy's coat to muffle his cries.

The pirate sighed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I didn't even get you that dee—" He cut himself off as he pulled the fabric aside and found a long, jagged scab starting at his hip and curling up to stop just next to his spine, the middle of which he'd reopened with his own knife.

The skin around the wound was red and hot to the touch, and he noticed a yellowish fluid oozing from the edges of the scab near the top. Pulling his bloody fingers out of the lesion he'd made, he frowned and traced the length of the scab lightly. From the muffled mewl of pain he received, the scab must have been tender to the touch. It was a horrible wound.

Seto frowned and rested his hand on the blond's hip. "…What is this from?"

Joey's legs trembled slightly at the sharp, residual ache from having his wound touched so firmly making him feel nauseous. "Nn-!"

"…You said you knew you wouldn't come back someday," the brunet whispered after a moment. "You were expecting to be caught and killed."

"Bein' a thief isn't exactly the safest job ya know-!" The thief in question gasped again as the brunet traced the edges of the cut on his hip. "I know I deserve t' be tortured for stealin' from ya but I don't think I deserve _that!_"

Standing up straight, Seto narrowed his eyes as he watched the blond shrink back and quaked against the door. "And just what _do_ you deserve, you little—What's that?" he asked sharply, pointing at the thin, familiar chain he noticed around the younger boy's neck.

Joey whimpered and pulled the chain over his head, dragging the locket out from underneath his shirt and holding it out to him. "…'m sorry…"

"_Mine._" The brunet snatched it out of his hand and checked inside to make sure the portrait of he and his brother was still inside. "…Why, out of all the things you could have taken, did you steal _this?_ It's not even worth pawning! And if you're as skilled a thief as I think you are, you'd have _known_ that just by looking." He narrowed his eyes and growled when the blond didn't answer immediately, but was made curious as he saw the thief's cheeks beginning to turn pink in embarrassment.

"…It… It had a picture of ya in it. And… and the sex was good, and you're really pretty, and… And I just wanted somethin' t' remember ya by." Joey flinched as he saw the brunet's hand come up quickly and closed his eyes, bracing himself to be slapped. He flinched when he felt the fingers brush against his cheekbone, then frowned, slowly blinking his eyes open before he looked back up at him in befuddlement. "…K-Kaiba…?"

The pirate in question smirked. "You wanted to keep a piece of me with you, even after you left?"

"W-what? No! That's not—I mean, I was just— …Yes," the blond admitted quietly, blushing a little more as he turned his gaze away.

"And you think I'm good-looking?"

"…Yes."

Seto looked very much like the cat that had just caught the canary and still managed to finagle a large bowl of cream out of its owners. "I have a better idea. Instead of killing you, you'll be my personal _pet._"

Joey looked up at him quickly, frowning. "What-? You… Ya wanna _keep_ me?"

"Why not? Your friend will take care of your sister, I'll take care of you… I'll make sure your wound is treated and that no one ever hurts you again…" The brunet purred and rested his hands on the younger boy's waist. "You'll be my little pet."

"…But it sounds like I'm the only one gettin' anything out of it, though. Why would ya do all that for me-?" the blond began, brows furrowing together in confusion.

The captain looked even smugger than before. "Aside from having my necklace and treasure back? …You'll see."

The younger boy blinked up at him innocently, then frowned again. "…W-will I ever get t' see my sister again?"

"Whenever we dock back here, sure. I'll even leave a little of my treasure here so she doesn't have to live in… this." Seto waved at the area around them. He smirked as the blond gasped and looked up at him with something akin to adoration in his eyes. "Just remember that when we're back on the ship. Go say goodbye to your sister. …If it makes you feel better, tell her you're a cabin boy instead of my pet."

As the blond smiled up at him before he turned to go inside, the brunet smiled the smuggest smile he had (usually reserved for the winning of epic battles at sea). _'Cabin boy, pet, and bed mate.'_

He really didn't know how Joey hadn't realized just what Seto would be getting out of having him as his pet; after all, he'd enjoyed the sex the first time, and Seto had certainly liked it.

Seto's smirk grew. _'If I weren't me, I'd totally be jealous of myself. I am one __**lucky**__ bastard.'_ He frowned when he realized his crew might just have something to say about him not killing the thief, then shrugged carelessly. He was sure a simple, 'He's my sex-slave' while the blond was being examined by the ship's doctor and couldn't protest would shut them up. After all, the Captain would want a healthy sex slave, and it would 'make him more relaxed.' Because apparently, Seto's crew believed he had a stick up his ass that a few good rounds of sex would take care of, whereas he personally knew that he was just a sadistic asshole.

Ah, the joy of being the captain. His word was law and no one could question it without the threat of being flogged. Well… he supposed Joey could question it without being too badly punished. He obviously would when he realized he wasn't actually a cabin boy so much as he was the Captain's personal whore. In fact, he expected quite the tantrum.

Glancing around the filth the blond and his sister lived in now, he decided he could deal with that, especially if it meant getting Joey off the street and into his bed where he'd be safe and—well… relatively safe as he could be on the same ship as the crew that was soundly punished for sending their captain a thief to sleep with.

"Rgh. Crap. Damn." Seto slapped a hand over his face. "Fuck. I was thinking with the wrong head."

"You have two?"

The brunet turned sharply, then sighed when he saw Joey blinking up at him innocently. "…Is your sister okay?"

"Well, we both sort of wish I had a better goodbye, but I get the feelin' ya wanna get out of here really fast," Joey mumbled, frowning, as he shrugged. "Here's your treasure. I left a little with Serenity—just enough! Ya won't even notice it's gone!"

Seto honestly thought about making him carry the treasure back himself, then sighed and grabbed the large sack himself. Joey was already injured; he didn't need him to strain himself with a sack of coins and jewels. Besides, he'd probably need to play a little rough as they boarded the ship, just to make it seem like he was punishing him.

Which would probably aggravate his wound anyway. Injuring him further. Making the doctor on ship look at him sooner. The crew would obviously wonder about it.

"RRGH, this is what I get for not thinking with my head!" He grabbed Joey's hand so they wouldn't get separated in the crowd, allowing him to escape.

Joey blinked up at him again. "If ya weren't thinkin' with your head, what were ya thinkin' with?"

Seto stopped to turn and give him a disbelieving stare. Then, he sighed loudly and returned to dragging him to the docks. "I'll tell you when you're older."

"Okay. …Wait. _Hey!_"


	111. Porn Surprise: M

Author's Note: This went in a totally different direction than I thought it would, but it's humorous enough, I suppose. Tell me what you think.

On another note… READ MAGERYDOE'S STORIES BECAUSE SHE'S AWESOME! Her Seto and Joey are actually in character, and you can still see pervy!Seto and innocent!Joey. **X3** I love it, really, especially her 88 Moments of Seto&Joey. I shall repeat… I LOVE HER STORIES. Just like I love Willowsnake's stories.

…Yes. I'm completely shameless in the advertising of stories I like. But I give you awesome new authors to read so YOU LOVE ME FOR IT.

Porn Surprise

"Seto, I'm using your computer!" Joey called, leaning into the bathroom.

The only response he got was a short, "Don't crash it."

The blond grumbled to himself and rolled his eyes as he made his way over to the desk. He really had no idea why the CEO was so protective of it. It wasn't even the computer he used for work! He usually only let Joey use it for short amounts of time, usually with him there to make sure he didn't click on something wrong.

Settling himself in the office chair, Joey indulged in a few moments of spinning around on the seat, then rolled closer to the desk, grasping the mouse so he could click on the internet icon. His hand paused as his eyes caught a folder with a name that made him freeze.

_Puppy Porn_

He gagged a little, jerking back in his seat, then leaned forward to read the name again to make sure he'd seen it clearly. When the words failed to change themselves despite his mental urging, he could only stare. What the hell kind of guy was he dating?

…What was so good about dogs that Seto had _porn_ of them?

Frowning, Joey bit his bottom lip, then clicked on the folder icon. He winced as this brought up quite a few videos with dates instead of names and no sample pictures. He waited a few more moments, then steeled his nerves to see just how twisted his lover was and clicked on the first video. As it loaded, however, he felt his will begin to fade, and was ready to just close the window altogether when he was cut off by his own voice.

"_Uh! Seto!_"

…Oh hell.

Looking back at the video instead of the little red X he'd been about to press to close it, the blond gasped in horror as he saw himself splayed out on the bed—_their_ bed—as he pleasured himself with a vibrator.

It was then he realized the significance of the dates; they were mostly during times when Seto was away on business and gone for a few days, leaving him lonely and longing for pleasure.

He hadn't known there'd been a _camera!_

Joey covered his mouth and squeaked in horror as he watched himself arch his back, reaching down to rub his erection frantically. What was Seto doing with all of these videos on his computer where anyone could see them!

…On second thought, WHY WAS THERE A CAMERA IN HIS ROOM?

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto jumped as the bathroom door slammed open and turned quickly, startled. "What the hell—Joey?"

"WHY IS THERE PORN OF ME ON YOUR COMPUTER?" the blond roared, glaring at him.

"…Oh. So you found it."

"YES, I FOUND IT!"

The brunet tilted his head a little, frowning. "Why wouldn't I keep videos of you pleasuring yourself while I'm away on business? …It's nice to see you missed me sometimes," he answered quietly, then went back to toweling his hair dry.

Joey frowned. "…W-what do ya mean, it's nice t' see I missed ya sometimes? I always miss ya!"

"With the way you're usually out with your friends when I get home from a trip—and when you're not, you're asleep—I figured you didn't care too much." Deciding his hair was as dry as it was going to get using a towel, Seto sighed and tossed it into the clothes hamper. "Not that I don't enjoy the actual act of you pleasuring yourself, but sometimes it's nice to know that you imagine _me_ there with you. With as much as you spend time with your friends, I figured you might call for one of them instead."

The blond gasped in affront. "Seto-!" When he saw that the older boy was already out the door, he stomped after him, scowling. "Seto Kaiba, how _dare_ you—"

"You said that there would be no way we could work out if I cut you off from your friends," Seto stated, rummaging through his dresser for a pair of boxers. "If you'll please notice, I haven't cut you off from them. I even try not to get mad when I ask you to go to dinner with me and you tell me you've already made plans for a movie night with your friends. I guess I'm just glad that I'm the one you come home to at night."

Joey rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. "I'm _sorry_ if I wasn't interested in goin' t' any business dinners with ya!"

The brunet paused, then began looking more adamantly. Once he'd gotten a pair of boxers on and had discarded his towel, he turned to look at the younger boy and frowned. "Well, my business partners all brought their wives. Can I help it if I wanted to show you off?"

"That's just the thing, Seto! You've got nothin' _to_ show off!" The blond motioned at himself wildly. "They're your perfect business partners that have got perfect little wives and perfect little children and then there's perfect you that has mediocre little me!"

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I _prefer_ mediocre little you!" Seto asked angrily. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe after seeing all of these perfect people I like to come home to a little mediocrity? Yes, you snore, and you talk in your sleep, and you're clumsy, and your way of speech is absolutely trashy—and I _love it!_" the brunet roared. "So don't tell me I don't have anything to show off!

"I love how your nose wrinkles when you snore, and I love how among all of the mumbles of food, you say _my name_ when you're sleeping, and I love how even when you stumble and fall you're completely unembarrassed and that you can, in fact, laugh about it! And I know that you hate your accent and you don't want to speak around 'people like me,' whatever that means, but _I_ think your accent is adorable and I _love_ listening to you speak! No one will _ever_ love you as much as I do!"

Joey took a startled step back. "…S-Seto… I didn't know—"

"Of _course_ you don't know! You're always out with your friends! And when you _do_ spend time with me, we're either having sex or you're asleep! That's not exactly conducive in showing you how much I love you!" Seto took a deep breath, then sighed and held his hands up in defeat. "I'll delete the videos if you want me to. Honestly, I don't _care_ anymore."

The blond frowned and reached out for his arm. "Seto…"

"…I'm just… really tired of knowing that you love me, but also knowing that you love your friends more," the brunet added quietly.

"I don't love them _more,_ I just… I just feel more comfortable with them because I don't hafta worry about embarrassing myself in front of 'em, and I don't wanna embarrass you in front of your business buddies." He paused to look down at their joined hands, holding one of the brunet's hands with his own as he began stroking it with the other. "…Ya really wanna show me off t' your business partners?" Joey asked after a moment, unable to help a bashful smile. "Ya really think I hold a candle t' all their perfect wives and children?"

"Puppy, you are _far_ prettier than all of those women with their make-up and plastic surgery." Seto grimaced at the thought. "Ugh… Even if you get old and wrinkly, don't get plastic surgery."

The blond raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean _when_ I get old and wrinkly?"

"Psh, please." The older boy snorted derisively. "I plan to have figured out immortality before then."

Joey chuckled for a moment but frowned when the brunet merely raised an eyebrow at him. "…Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious."

"Why wouldja wanna live forever?"

Seto rolled his eyes. "To prove I _can._"

The blond blinked at him. "…Let's watch some of your porny videos and then have sex," Joey suggested, tugging him over to the computer.

"…Why?" the brunet asked suspiciously.

"Because we've never had sex after watching porn together and I'm perfectly happy with this porn because it's _me_ so I don't hafta get jealous. I'm curious how sex after watchin' porn will be."

Joey had no intention of explaining that the idea of living forever was terrifying and he had no interest in doing so, so therefore he was distracting him from the idea with sex. That would only encourage him.


	112. Neighborly: T

Author's Note: They're just HUMAN with ANIMAL EARS AND TAILS. Just to get that clear. Carry on! **:3**

Neighborly

"_Nyu!_"

Seto grunted and woke up immediately, lifting a hand to brush his hair out of his eyes as his ears twitched. "Whazzat?"

"_Help!_"

The brunet took a moment to rub his eyes and yawn, then got to his feet and walked to the door of his burrow. "God, probably someone probably got caught in traps again…" Opening the door, he scowled tiredly and looked around.

"_Help me…!_"

Spotting the speaker tangled up in some thorny blackberry vines, he huffed as he saw the floppy golden ears atop his head and the fluffy tail curled up against his belly. "Hey! Didn't you see the signs? They said 'no trespassing' and 'no soliciting!'"

The blond looked at him quickly with teary eyes. "Please! It hurts!"

Seto sighed in frustration, rolling his eyes, then grabbed a pair of hedge clippers and walked over to him; he just knew that if he didn't free the little mutt, he'd have to listen to him screaming and crying until someone else did. "Stop moving; you'll make it worse."

The pup stopped struggling and sniffled, whimpering as he was cut free. "Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah." The brunet scowled and finally snipped him free, then reached out and grabbed his hips, lifting him free of the snaring vines' clutches. "What the hell are you doing here, anyway?"

The blond sniffled and wiped his eyes before any tears could fall, then scampered over to the other side of the bush. "Just a sec!"

Seto crossed his arms and huffed again. "_You_ are the one trespassing on _my_ land, so you're hardly the one to be demanding anythi—" He blinked as the pup scampered back up to him and shoved a wicker basket at him. He caught it to keep from landing on his feet. "What the-!"

"Those are for you!" The pup smiled brightly. "We're new neighbors, so I thought I'd come over and introduce myself!"

The brunet glared at him, then hesitantly peered into the basket. He began to salivate as his nose caught the scent of spicy carrot cupcakes, and he saw the cream cheese frosting was decorated with little handmade candy carrots. Forcing his stomach in check, he lifted his gaze back to the blond and scowled. "Again: Did you _not see the signs?_"

"…I saw 'em, but I didn't care," the blond stated bluntly, then smiled again, clasping his hands together. "My name's Joey! I hope ya like your cupcakes!"

Seto found he was annoyed by the pup's audacity. Waving the end of hedge clippers in the blond's face threateningly, he growled, "Don't _bother_ me anymore; I don't _like_ neighbors. If you get caught in the traps again, I'm _not_ coming to your rescue!"

Joey blinked at him for a moment. "…But I missed all your traps. This blackberry bush was the only one that—"

"It's called a _natural_ trap, little puppy! Not _get. Lost._" So saying, he stomped back to his front door, tossed the clippers aside, and went into his home, making sure to slam the door shut loudly.

Then, he went over to the window and peered out from behind the curtains.

Joey stood in place, stunned for a little longer, then huffed. He crossed his arms and looked down at the ground, scuffing his toe along the dirt, then slumped in defeat and began trudging away—on the path this time, not through the plants.

Once he was certain his new neighbor was gone, Seto frowned and looked back down at the basket of cupcakes. After a moment, he pulled out one of the cupcakes and examined it, then took a small bite.

He moaned aloud at the spicy moistness of the cupcake complimented by the sweet cream of the frosting and sat down to enjoy the rest of the treat in comfort. He didn't know dogs could cook! This was the most wonderful cupcake he'd ever had!

…He'd just insulted and practically banished the Maker of the Most Fabulous cupcakes.

Seto's hand slapped against his face as he groaned in frustration.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey jumped as he heard a knock on his door, then turned toward it in confusion. Ever since his… unfortunate… confrontation with the rabbit he'd learned was named Seto yesterday, he hadn't quite felt confident enough to meet any of his other new neighbors, and they hadn't really given off any welcoming vibes anyway. Perhaps it was his sister coming to check on him?

Walking toward the door hopefully, he took a minute to fix his hair in the mirror (his little sister hated his just-got-out-of-bed look), finger-brush his tail, and perk his ears up in a friendly, open manner. Then, he opened the door, smiling. "Hell—OH GOD!" He stared up at the rabbit in surprise, eyes wide, before his mouth fell open in semi-awe.

Unlike yesterday, when his neighbor had been wearing flannel pants and shirt, Seto was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and a white muscle shirt that showed off just how muscular he was (which the blond had realized, being lifted out of the blackberry brambles, but it was just now hitting him). Joey hated to admit it, but… he was a sucker for muscular men.

Woe that he was attracted to such a mean person!

Seto raised an eyebrow. "…Well I _love_ to be greeted _that_ way," he stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He crossed his arms and turned away, then sighed in defeat. "I realized yesterday that I may not have behaved… Okay, I was a number one jerk yesterday. In my defense, you'd just screamed me awake." He frowned, ears twitching a little, before continuing, "And I'd… just like to thank you… for the delicious cupcakes."

Joey blinked at him for a minute, then let out an excited "squee!" and grabbed the brunet's wrists dragging him into his house. "I have more!"

The rabbit frowned in confusion as he was yanked inside and forced into a seat. "But I still have that whole basket—"

"Lemme get ya some milk! Ya like milk, right? Of course ya do! Everyone likes milk!"

Normally, Seto would have protested, but then he had a plate of cookies in front of him and—Oh _God_ they were snickerdoodles and he just _loved_ snickerdoodles! Ugh, it wasn't even worth being polite over.

Joey smiled and clasped his hands together as he watched the brunet shove a cookie in his mouth. "Are they good? I just pulled 'em outta the oven this mornin'!"

The brunet only spared a vague, "Delicious."

The blond squealed in delight and sat across the table from him. "I'm glad! Usually people don't like eatin' my treats when they see I'm not mated and not livin' with my parents!"

Seto looked up at him in confusion, mouth still full of cookies. "Why would dat madder?"

Joey blinked at him. "Well, 'm a dog. Pups usually stay with their parents until they're mated."

"Oh?" The brunet swallowed a some milk to clear his mouth, then lifted his hands to wipe the crumbs from his face onto the now empty plate.

The blond squealed again. "That is so _cute!_ Wipe your face again!" When the rabbit shot him a sour look, he laughed nervously and waved his hands in a placatory manner. "Ahaha! Sorry! I've just never seen a rabbit clean his face before!"

Seto rolled his eyes. "Well, _I've_ never seen such a hyperactive dog. Are you always this hyper and happy?"

"Well, I've always been a little excitable, but I'm usually able t' calm myself down so people won't be put off! Say, people are really weird around here!" the pup exclaimed, frowning. "I tried t' go introduce myself t' the squirrel over the hill and he threw acorns at me! And the albino rabbit really wanted nothin' t' do with me, either!"

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious? You really _don't_ know?"

"Huh?" Joey tilted his head in confusion. "What?"

"You're a _dog._ Dogs aren't really rodent's best friend." Seto sighed at the hurt expression on the blond's face. "It's just a fact of nature, puppy. Rabbits and squirrels do not like dogs."

"But… _you_ like me, don't ya?" the pup asked hopefully. "Ya don't hate me, do ya?"

The brunet sighed again. "Even if I did hate you, it wouldn't be anything personal, because I hate _everyone._"

Joey blinked. "Even if ya did…? So ya _don't_ hate me?"

"You made carrot cupcakes so good I almost came in my pants. I _have_ to like you," Seto deadpanned.

"…Came in your pants…?" The blond stared at him a little longer before blushing and covering his mouth. "Eee-! I-I couldn't 've—stop makin' fun of meee!"

The rabbit frowned, brows furrowing together. "I'm not making fun of you. Actually, I—Hmm." His lips twisted into a smirk. "So that's what that look was when you answered the door and why you're suddenly so bashful. You _like_ me."

"_No!_ I just… I just don't like bein' made fun of, and… I just remembered I left somethin' in the oven!" Joey squeaked, standing up and scampering for the door. Just as he got it open, however, the brunet's hand slammed it shut, and the pup found himself spun around pressed up against the door. "Nyu-!"

"That's funny. Usually people's ovens are _inside_ the house." Seto offered the blond a feral grin. "Were you trying to run away from me? A _dog_ running from a _rabbit?_"

"No why would I ever do that I was just gonna go try and meet my neighbors again!" the younger boy squeaked. "I-I mean it has nothin' t' do with not wantin' t' be eaten alive!"

The brunet raised an eyebrow, still smirking. "Oh? So you know what I'm going to do to you now that I know that you like me?"

Joey shivered. "I-I have a general idea-! You're gonna—gonna touch my naughty places and hump me silly!"

Seto chuckled quietly. "Well, I've never heard them called _naughty places,_ but yes; I _am_ going to touch your naughty places and hump you silly."

"We don't even know each other!" the blond bleated heplessly.

"I'm a _rabbit,_ Joey; I don't necessarily need to _know_ you. You're just afraid because I turn you on." The brunet purred as the pup's hips shook. "See? You _want_ to hump against me like the horny little dog you are. You're just too embarrassed because you've been living at home with your parents before now and you're _terrified_ because you've never wanted to do anything so _lewd_ in your life."

Joey covered his mouth and blushed even as he quaked against the door, trying to keep from bucking and mewling. "S-stop sayin' those things! I-I'm allergic or somethin'—my body's gettin' hot and—"

"Mm, you must be allergic then. Though I must tell you… the only way to cure your allergy is _me,_" Seto growled, pressing up against him.

"Seto—Seto, help—" The blond reached out to grip his shirt and trembled against him, body quaking as their hips brushed together. "Oh…! Oh, please help me…!"

The rabbit grinned and scooped him up, carrying him over to the bed. "Don't worry, puppy. I'll help you."

"H-h-how are ya gonna—" Joey let out a startled howl.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"…You are never allowed t' eat my cupcakes again. Ever!" Joey ordered breathlessly, legs still trembling a little.

Seto's smile remained smug. "Even the ones you gave me yesterday?"

"Even those!" The blond mewed as the rabbit snuggled up against his back. "Trickin' me into thinkin' I was allergic—"

"Is it my fault that you were so horribly naïve?" The brunet raised an eyebrow. "You didn't seem to mind getting the extra protein."

"Shut up!" the younger boy roared in embarrassment.

The rabbit sighed and nuzzled his back. "I think we'll be good neighbors, puppy. What do you think?"

"I think that if you're gonna be _this_ neighborly then maybe I don't wanna be your neighbor." Joey pouted for a few moments before frowning. "…How often do ya do this? Jump your neighbors, I mean."

"Psh, as if I'd jump anyone else. They're all psycho." Seto snorted in disgust. "That's why I was so frisky; I'm usually not so horny." He pet the blond's thigh and sighed. "…You know… if you want to come over to my hutch again sometime… I won't yell at you." He paused, then continued, "I could introduce you to my little brother. I think you'd like each other."

The blond hummed thoughtfully. "…You're not gonna yell at me for ignorin' the signs?"

The rabbit's ears twitched at the hint of doubt of the other boy's voice. "…No. In fact, if you show me that neighbors can be good things… perhaps I'll even take them down."

"The traps too?"

"…No. I need those for my amusement."

Joey sighed. "You have a _sick_ sense of humor."

"It's not _my_ fault people are stupid enough to fall into them. _You_ got through them just fine."

The blond whined. "I got caught in the brambles!"

Seto sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'll cut the stupid vines down enough that you can get through without hurting yourself. Okay?"

"…Okay." Joey smiled. "Thank you." He paused, then turned to crawl on top of him. "One more and then a nap."

"Hmm, I can't say no to that face," the rabbit purred, grinning as the pup settled himself on his lap.


	113. Shred: T

Author's Note: *cries* Shark Week is OVER! I was so excited for it, and then I was _too busy to watch it!_ I'm so mad I could spit!

…To vent my frustration, I have made this drabble. The victims in this may surprise you if you know my personal feelings for certain characters, actually, and you may ask, "Why him?" Well… BECAUSE I CAN. And it makes for a humorous ending, too.

Shred

Seto felt uneasy. It wasn't often that he felt uneasy—usually while he was doing nothing, since he'd been doing _something_ at all times his entire life. Well, that explained the uneasy feeling; he was sitting on a beach towel on the sand, just… sitting. And doing nothing. At all.

_How_ had his puppy convinced him that a week in the Bahamas was a good idea? Oh—wait. Yes, he'd decided he _did_ like having a penis, especially attached to his body; the blond had threatened to cut it off and put it up on the wall like a hunting trophy.

Why yes, Seto did still have nightmares, thank you.

It was just how he was finagled into financing the trip for the blond's friends that still confused him. Especially with Téa at the barbecue with Mai and Ryou while everyone else was in the ocean or playing volleyball. Why had he paid for all of this again?

Oh yeah… He was a multi-billionaire. PSH, lame excuse!

Turning to look at the reasons for his current unease and suffering, Seto couldn't help a smile as he watched his boyfriend and little brother wrestle in the water, even chuckling quietly as there was a blur and suddenly Yugi was on top of both of them, laughing, and Yami waded out to meet them. Then, they moved out into deeper water so they could have swimming contests.

The brunet was proud to say his brother was the strongest swimmer there, but mostly because of the swimming pool they had at the mansion. Yami, probably, was the worst swimmer, but Seto couldn't really blame him. Egypt, after all, hadn't been swimmer-friendly; there were crocodiles to worry about, and then hippos. Hippos were worse, actually. Either way, there was little swimming unless someone was feeling particularly brave.

Seto turned his gaze on the water itself, idly noticing that the water wasn't as clear as it had been the day before. Yesterday, it had been a beautiful shade of blue, crystal clear. You could see everything in the water for miles. It had been so gorgeous that he'd actually taken a few pictures on his camera phone, even snapping a few with Joey and Mokuba in them—one of which he'd made his background picture, though he'd die before he told anyone.

…Perhaps it was the murkiness that was making him uneasy this time. He couldn't see much. He had liked the clearer water much better. Who knew what was in there?

The scream that came after his last thoughts chilled his blood.

Seto looked around wildly, trying to find Mokuba and Joey in the water. He started breathing again when he saw his little brother just making it to water he could stand in and was steadily making his way up to the sand. Seeing his brother was safe, he looked for blond hair.

Unfortunately, he found it—all of it. There was red in the water and Yugi was screaming, and he could hear Joey's thickly accented curses being shrieked as he pounded on something in the water while Yami was nowhere to be seen.

Seeing that his lover was still in the water and had no intention of coming out, Seto immediately sprang to his feet and sprinted into the water. "Mokuba call nine-one-one!"

"Where are you going?" Mokuba cried, still panting. "Don't go out there, Seto—"

"CALL NINE-ONE-ONE OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

Now was not the time to be making threats, but the sense of normality in the threat of grounding made the younger boy stumble up to the beach, babbling to the others and keeping them from running into the water to help their friends, too.

Seto concentrated on getting out to the others, taking in the scene and trying to grasp what was happening. The look of panic on Yugi's face, the confusion and helplessness on a newly-surfaced Yami's, and the anger and frustration on Joey along with the frothy red water explained everything.

Some shark had mistaken the small Yugi as a meal. Yami couldn't do anything to help him; he didn't know anything about sharks, and he couldn't banish the damn thing without possibly banishing Yugi—or at least parts of him. Joey, obviously, the determined, loyal puppy he was, would not be leaving the water unless he was towing his two friends—both in shock—back to shore.

Joey was punching the shark anywhere he could reach, mostly the back and gills. That wouldn't make this shark let go, and as he saw the shark begin to shake the poor human in its jaws, Seto steeled himself and, shoving one hand into the shark's mouth to try and feel the damage to the smaller duelist's leg, he began pounding on its nose and its closed eyes.

It was a few panicky, fast-paced, terrifying seconds—heartbeats—that felt like hours. Finally, growing frustrated as only a multi-billionaire CEO could, he let out an angry roar and twisted around to slam his heel into the shark's blunt, sandpapery nose.

The shark was stunned by this, and actually released Yugi's leg. Joey's street instincts allowed him to waste _no_ time, as he grabbed the younger boy and actually _threw_ him away, then began swimming after him, catching him as the smaller teen spluttered and tried to stay afloat while his blood continued to turn the water around him a sickening pinkish-red color.

Seto caught Yami by the shoulder and pressed up against him, slamming his foot into the shark's nose again for a shove-off start. He knew that sticking by Yami was safest at this point; they would appear as a large target to the shark, making it think twice about taking on such big prey. He refused to go down because the former pharaoh was a panicky moron in the face of a fish that had gotten too big for its metaphorical britches.

Once back on shore, he dropped the other man on the ground and scrambled over to Yugi, where his lover was frantically trying to stop the bleeding on his thigh with his bare hands. "Téa! Go keep Yami from going into shock or sending everything in the ocean to the Shadow Realm! Mai, bring me a towel!"

"Help is still a few minutes away!" Mokuba called, still on the phone—where the operator was probably keeping him from hyperventilating and panicking himself into shock as well.

"We don't _have_ a few minutes!" Seto roared, though he was more frustrated and angry about not controlling the current situation than any imagined incompetence. Snatching the towel from the blonde's hands as she hurried it over, he turned to look down at what Joey was frantically doing.

The entire back of the smaller boy's thigh was hanging open and as blood poured onto the sand. He stared for a few moments, horrified, then hurriedly sprang into action. He wrapped the towel around Yugi's thigh tightly, twisting it to eliminate any slack, then pressed down on it, leaving Joey to scurry up around to the smaller boy's head and keep him talking, keep him awake.

No one had ever been so happy to hear the sound of helicopter blades slicing through the air.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I have to say that I'm surprised," Yugi whispered, still feeling weak from the blood loss. "I knew Joey and Yami would stay out to help me, but I never thought you'd actually _come out_ when you saw Mokuba was safe."

Seto looked down at his hand, covered in bandages to hide the fifty-seven stitches needed after being shredded open inside the shark's mouth. "It had nothing to do with you. I knew that if you died, I'd never be able to win back the title of King of Games from you—and Yami would certainly be too heartbroken to duel ever again, if he didn't just kill himself. …Joey would be inconsolable too, thinking it was his fault because he couldn't save you; I'd never be able to make him forget it.

"So you see, it was entirely selfish."

The smaller boy smiled tiredly. "Mokuba said you go to great lengths to explain things away when you're embarrassed."

Caught in his tracks, the brunet began picking at the bandages, frowning. "…I don't… think life would be the same without you trying to get me to open up. Who knows? Maybe one day I will." He smiled as the smaller boy wheezed a quiet chuckle. "Don't tell anyone I said that."

"I think you screwed up any chances of seeming uncaring when you kicked that shark in the face," Yugi deadpanned, then chuckled again. "But honestly, thank you, Kaiba."

"OhmyGod it was a bull shark!" Joey shrieked, bursting into the room.

"Sir, please stay quiet; they need their rest," a nurse ordered softly but firmly.

"I just looked 'em up online!" the blond continued, slamming the door shut again. He waited to hear her indignant squawk before smiling a little in sadistic satisfaction. Then, he gasped and rushed over to Yugi's bed. "OhmyGod! You'll _never_ guess what I found out! Okay, so bull sharks can go in salt water _and_ fresh water _and_ they get really big _and_ they're, like, _everywhere_!"

"…You say that as if it's surprising. It's the _ocean,_ Joey. Of _course_ there are sharks everywhere," Yugi murmured, letting his eyes drift closed.

Joey scowled. "I meant bull sharks, ya idiot! They're all over—American coasts, African coasts—"

"Basically anywhere that it's not too cold, yeah," Seto cut in.

The blond glared at him, then turned back to his friend and frowned. "They can get so big! We're lucky that one didn't just eat ya up!"

"Mm." Yugi nodded weakly. "What's your point, Joey?"

The brunet scowled. "That bull sharks are basically the _assholes_ of the _sea._"

At that, the other two boys looked at him in surprise, then began laughing—one stronger than the other, but with the same amount of mirth.

"What? I'm serious." Seto glared at them, then sighed and lifted his hand to look at it. "…I may need better pain killers."

Joey was by his side immediately, frowning as he tenderly took the wounded hand between both of his own. "Does it hurt that bad? Here, maybe a kiss will make it better…"

The brunet purred smugly. "Thank you, puppy."

"…Where's everyone else?" Yugi asked after a minute. "Where's Yami?"

The blond flinched. "Erm… Hey, ya want a candy bar or somethin', Yug'?"

"Tell me or suffer." The glare that the miniscule duelist gave them would have been funny, but for the fact that they were well aware that he would carry out his threat.

"…They're draggin' him in right now," the taller boy explained, sagging in defeat. "Once he heard ya were gonna be okay, he vowed t' banish the shark t' the Shadow Realm. …Téa and Mokuba are tryin' t' convince him it's not worth it."

Yugi rolled his eyes and sighed in frustration. "Fine. Then _I'll_ take a nap. That way, I'll be asleep when Téa gets here, and she'll get mad and slap him for making her worry about him while I was awake so that she missed me, and then he can sleep on the floor back at the hotel."

"…Don't… you want to go home?" Seto asked after a moment, frowning.

The smaller boy looked appalled at the suggestion. "Are you _kidding?_ We're in _the Bahamas!_"

"…Where you were almost eaten."

"Do you know how many things there are to do on _land?_ There's birding, and nature tours, and I can even see dolphins!" Yugi exclaimed, scowling. "Not to mention all of the Bahamian food we haven't eaten!"

Joey frowned in confusion. "…I read that brochure. It says ya go in the water with the dolphins. Are ya sure you'd still wanna-?"

"I'M SEEING THE DOLPHINS EVEN IF I HAVE TO SWIM THROUGH A TANK OF SHARKS."

"…Then I'd love to come with you!" the blond squealed gleefully. "Dolphins! So cute!"

Seto sighed and tried to remember that he cared about these people, even as he mentally bashed his head against a wall. Why was he attached to such psychotic people? _Why?_


	114. Poltergeist: T

Author's Note: This came from a conversation that I had with Willowsnake. Tell me what you guys think. **X**D

Poltergeist

Seto sighed in irritation. Perhaps it had been asking too much for his puppy to be waiting outside the game shop for him. Getting out of his car (not the limo, because Joey hated the limo enough that "I would rather walk thanks DON'T FORCE ME T' GET IN AGAIN!"), he walked over to the door to the game shop and stepped inside.

Okay. He knew it _wasn't_ asking too much to have his puppy at least waiting in the shop area.

Sighing again in frustration this time, he began toward the door that led to the Motos' living room. Just as he was beginning to open the door, however, he heard something that made him pause.

"Huh, I wonder how that 'Bones' guy is doing." That was Yugi's voice.

Then came Joey's surprisingly disgusted snort of contempt (Seto smirked; his puppy was picking up some of his quirks). "I don't."

"Oh, come on! You have to wonder a _little,_ right?"

"_NO,_ I _don't._"

"…You just don't like him because you're afraid of ghosts, huh?"

"Shut _up!_"

"Well, now that I think about it, in Death-T—" Seto flinched a little. "—And we were going through that one rollercoaster part with Kaiba's creepy butler guy, you _did_ faint."

"That was only because I couldn't scream! If I'd been able to scream without dyin', I wouldn't 've fainted!"

"…So it's either faint or scream like a little girl?"

"Shut UP!"

Seto paused before lips twisted into a decidedly evil smirk. Joey had been angry at him for not being home lately, and had thus withheld any puppy wuvins he might have gotten (of course, his not being home didn't help, either). If he could manage to scare his puppy off the couch and back into their bed…

"I'm gonna go check for Seto!"

The brunet only had a split second before the door was swung open, hitting him in the face quite hard. …Hard enough that he felt blood dribbling down his face. "Ow."

"Oh God! Seto!" Joey gasped, immediately reaching for his shoulders. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know ya were there!"

"…I wad coming do ged you," Seto stated, holding his nose to try and keep the blood off of his shir—Oh, wait, there were already a few drops. Never mind.

The blond gasped again in horror as the older boy let his bloody hand drop to his side, letting the rivulets of blood drip down onto his once-clean, crisp white shirt. "Oh God, were you gonna go to work?"

"I planned on stopping in for a few hours after I took you back to the mansion, yes," the CEO deadpanned. "I see that that plan is now shot."

"I'm _sorry!_" the younger boy wailed and would have thrown his arms around him to hug him, but the brunet's clean hand immediately reached out to stop him.

"No. While I'm quite willing and able to buy a new shirt, this is your favorite—I cannot just buy you a new one."

Joey felt adoration building up in chest. Seto didn't really understand his attachment to his favorite shirt (it was old and, in Seto's opinion, ugly), but he didn't want him to ruin it. "Okay! Let's go buy ya a new shirt right now!"

Seto frowned in confusion. "…You hate going shopping with me."

"Well, I'm still too mad t' give ya your 'wuvins' or whatever," the blond replied, rolling his eyes at the completely made up word. "So let's go buy ya a new shirt."

"…I maintain that you are completely unpredictable and I often have trouble understanding your logic," the brunet stated, then turned and began out to the car.

Joey frowned in concern. "D-don't ya wanna clean up or somethin'?"

"If I don't give the media _something_ to squabble about soon, someone's going to submit something that will actually embarrass me. Personally, I don't care," Seto explained. "Come on."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey hummed quietly as he tidied up the living room from the recent WII EXTRAVAGANZA that he and Mokuba had just played through (controllers went flying along with food, drink, and throw pillows). Placing a picture frame back in upright position, he paused to admire it.

He was then extremely confused when he saw that all of the faces had been scratched out. Well, partly scratched out. You could still see who they were, mostly, except for the person he knew was Seto. Someone had scratched out his body entirely. Weird. Perhaps it was one of the maids playing one of their jokes that he really didn't understand yet and was mostly just an inside joke between Seto and them?

…So very weird…

Tucking the picture under his arm, he finished straightening out the living room before making his way to Seto's office and knocking in the doorway. "Seto?"

"—And that's why a meeting face-to-face would be—" The brunet held up a hand to keep him from speaking further, then motioned for him to come in. "Ah. Yes, I see. I hope your father feels better." Sighing quietly, he set the phone back down, then rubbed his eyes tiredly. "_Ugh._ All of this trouble for a _possible_ contract. Disgusting."

"Is everything okay?" Joey asked in concern, frowning. He hadn't seen the brunet this annoyed and tired since the last big game that was released.

Seto shook his head, then offered his lover a small smile. "Nothing you need to worry about, puppy. How was your Wii thing?"

"It was a WII EXTRAVAGANZA. Anyway—"

"How much was stained?"

"Well, just a little spot on the carpet. Only about as big as bicycle tire. And—"

"Anything broken?"

Joey frowned again, frustrated by the interruptions. "Just that really pretty egg-shell vase. But—"

"Damn, I liked that vase." The brunet scowled momentarily, then sighed and shrugged it off. "I'll just hire someone to make a replica. Who won?"

"It was a tie. Seto—"

"Is that code for 'Mokuba totally trashed me?'"

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!" Joey roared, making the brunet sit back in surprise. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, then sighed and rubbed his nose in embarrassment. "Sorry. It's just, I wanted ya t' take a look at this." So saying, he set the picture on the desk.

Seto stared at him a moment longer, then reached out for it to look it over. After a moment, he raised an eyebrow. "Are you hinting that I need to throw another barbeque for your friends soon? Honestly, can't it wait until I'm finished with this possible contract?" he asked, frowning as he looked back at the blond.

"What? No, I—" Reaching out to look at the picture again, he felt his blood run cold when he found the picture intact. Seto still looked grouchy, Mokuba still looked delighted, and he himself still looked content. "…I…"

"…Is something wrong?" Seto asked, raising an eyebrow again. "Should I be seeing something that I'm not?"

Joey stared at the picture a moment longer, then slowly shook his head. "No, no. Sorry. …I thought I saw something." So saying, he stood and left the room—but not without one last, confused glance.

The brunet waited until he was gone before pressing the rolling mechanism, then pulled out the scratched up picture and threw it through the shredder to get rid of all evidence. Only when he heard Mokuba shriek about not tickling down the hall did he release a satisfied chuckle.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Ugh, pudding _all down my back._" Joey grimaced in distaste. Sometimes he pondered his logic in attacking Mokuba with tickles when he was agitated.

He was sticky. And it wasn't even the _good_ kind of sticky that came after a good romp. Ugh.

Stripping off his gooey shirt, he threw it and his jeans down the laundry chute. Then, he turned and started the shower running. Just as he was about to slide his boxers off, however, he noticed something off about the water and turned to look at it more closely. Both the water and the tub turned deep red, like blood.

He was embarrassed to admit he screamed like a little girl that had just suffered a spider walking across her hand.

Seto, on his way to go see what the scream had been about (he assumed it was a spider, as his puppy was terribly afraid of them), was startled when his puppy actually jumped into his arms. "Ack! Puppy—"

"THE SHOWER IS BLEEDING!" Joey shrieked, holding onto him tightly. "OH GOD! THE MANSION IS HAUNTED!"

"…Yeah." The brunet rolled his eyes and sighed as he carried him back to the bathroom. "Puppy, I'm sure you're just imagining things—"

"The shower was spurting blood at me!" the younger boy wailed, curling tighter around him. "Something in this house wants me dead!"

Seto rolled his eyes again. "The water looks fine to me."

"Wha-?" Turning, Joey looked up at the showerhead in confusion. His brows furrowed together as he saw that the water was clear and clean. "…I… I don't understaaaand!"

The brunet forced him to stand by himself and sighed. "You've been watching too many movies, puppy. …Why are my hands covered in pudding?"

"Um… I'll just… take my shower now…" The blond blushed and stepped into the bathtub.

Seto watched as he slid the shower curtain shut, still baffled as to why his hands were suddenly sticky with chocolate pudding.

.-.-.-.-.-.

_Creeeaaaaaaak_

Joey huddled under his blankets and bit his bottom lip. He'd been stubborn and still hadn't gone to bed with Seto, still a little annoyed with the lack of attention he'd been getting.

He regretted it. A lot. Because he'd never noticed how many creaks and whispers and bumps there were in the old mansion before.

He shivered as he heard what sounded like footsteps, but when he sat up to look for the person that had been walking, he saw nothing. Those shoes hadn't been there before, though! Crouching back beneath his blankets, he squeezed his eyes shut.

Then he felt a burst of cold air on the back of his neck and he _screamed,_ leaping off the couch and sprinting for the stairs. He vaguely heard an evil laugh (much like the evil cackle heard at the end of Michael Jackson's _Thriller_), but he was too terrified out of his mind to look back.

If he had, he would have seen the stereo had been turned on.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto smiled as he felt his lover scrambling into his bed. He quickly schooled his expression into a grumpy frown, though, lest he give the game away. "Mmph. What are you _doing?_"

Joey mewed and snuggled up against him, pressing up against him as if trying to become one with him. "I'm sorry, Seto—I didn't mean t' leave ya alone so long—I didn't think about how cold the bed might get without me—" He rubbed his cheek against the brunet's chest like an affectionate puppy. "'m sorry, dragon."

"It's okay, puppy." He guessed it was just pride that kept his lover from saying 'I'm totally terrified PROTECT ME.' "The bed _was_ a little lonely without you, though."

"I'll keep ya from gettin' lonely, Seto," the blond cooed, petting his shoulder, before snuggling up to him again.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"OH GOD IT'S A POLTERGEIST!"

Seto frowned as he walked into the kitchen. He was stunned when he found all of the cupboards and drawers open. What really surprised him, though, was the writing in red jelly on the wall.

_POLTERGEISTS DO NOT LIKE TO BE MIMICKED._

"…Puppy. Let's move out."


	115. Ragdoll: T

Author's Notes: So. It has come to my attention that another author has decided on writing an _Alice in Wonderland_ story and has credited me. I _know_ about it, thank you. And you'll find, if you actually _read_ the author's notes on her first chapter, she says that my story _inspired_ her and her plot _is_ different. Thank you all for your concern; I'm glad you told me about it so that I'd know. However, before you go "GRAHR PLAGERISM OM NOM NOM," you might think of reading the story before telling me about it. ^_~

In fact, I actually enjoy her story. **:**) It interests me and I am quite happy reading it.

Ragdoll

"GUESS WHO!"

Joey stiffened as he felt something slam into his back and quickly spread his legs to brace himself, panicking as he felt arms wrapping around his neck. Too many fights had started like this—too many injuries on the streets leaving him too paranoid—and he had no intention of being hurt.

Mokuba blinked as the older boy immediately reached back and grabbed the back of his shirt, then let out a yelp as he felt himself being tugged upward, flipped around, and _thrown._ He squealed as he flew through the air, pin wheeling his arms as he squeezed his eyes shut to brace against the pain he knew would be coming.

He was surprised (but grateful) therefore, when he slammed into something relatively soft and yielding before hitting the ground with a soft thump. Sitting up, he blinked as he saw that his brother had unwittingly saved him from a world of pain. "…Thanks, Seto!"

Joey let out a horrified squawk. "Oh my God! Mokuba, don't sneak up on me like that!" Gathering the younger boy into his arms, he hugged him tightly and nuzzled him. "I coulda really hurt ya!"

Mokuba sighed and basked in the affection for a moment before standing up straight. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to come and ask you to play some videogames with me."

The blond smiled. "Okay! Let's go! What are we gonna play?"

Seto blinked as the two boys walked out. Forcing himself to sit up, he groaned weakly. "Oh God, that _hurts._" He hugged himself and bit his bottom lip, then turned to glare over his shoulder. "JOEY!"

The younger teen scampered back in. "Oh, God! Seto, are you okay!"

"No. Why was my brother turned into a ragdoll? Why am I in pain?" the brunet snarled, glaring at him.

Joey winced a little. "O-oh, uh, well, he startled me, and I just… threw. I'm sorry. …D-do ya need help?"

"Considering that I think Mokuba and his finally-growing body cracked a couple of my ribs when all of his weight slammed into me, _yeah,_ I'd say I need help." Seto let out a quiet whine as he was tugged upward and clenched his jaw. "_God._"

"Wow, was I really like a ragdoll?" Mokuba asked, poking his head in. "…Wait, did you just call me _fat?_"

Seto's eyebrow twitched before he let out an angry snarl. "GRAHR!"

The younger boy flinched. "…Um… I'll just go call the car and get our insurance cards."

The brunet watched him scamper away, then turned his glare back on the blond still holding his arm in concern. "I'm fine now that I'm up."

"I still need t' help ya into the car and get ya into the hospital, Seto," Joey cooed, reaching up to lovingly stroke his cheek, before he leaned upward to place a kiss on his cheek. "I'm sorry we hurt ya, Seto."

"…You're both lucky I love you," Seto stated darkly, and allowed himself to be led to the door. "I swear to God, I could kill you both sometimes."

"You can't kill us, Seto. We're much too cute," the blond replied, smiling up at him coyly. "Besides… I can always make it up t' ya tonight…" He was startled when his lover let out another roar, but the brunet's next exclamation explained everything.

"I'LL BE IN TOO MUCH PAIN FOR SEX! I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE PROPERLY!"


	116. Intergalactic: T

Author's Note: WHAT? It's been how long since I updated my other stories? …I'm sorry. I'm working on _The Secret Serpent_ as you read this, I swear!

Alternate universe FTW! Yes. Seto's the alien. But you all knew that already, didn't you? But the setting they're in is actually a port where many different ships dock, so the area is sort of like a melting pot; you've got aliens from everywhere hanging around, and Earthlings on top of that. Of course you've got your racists (species-ists?), but you've also got the people who get along just fine with each other. And then there are those that _really_ get along—in bed. YEAH, I said it! But honestly, I just thought it would be fun. :)

Now that you've got a little background on the setting, let's get to the story!

Intergalactic

"You need to get laid. Come on, I'm sure we can convince that cute Neptunian girl—" Tristan began, turning to scope out the crowd.

Joey rolled his eyes. "_Not. Interested._ I'm quite happy waiting for my boyfriend to get back to port."

At that, the brunet raised an eyebrow. "What do you see in him, anyway? Draconians are emotionally retarded, cold-blooded, and cheap. You're emotionally needy, warm-blooded, and you like having money in your pocket. You _shouldn't_ be working the way you are."

The other boy rolled his eyes. "Tch. I think his inability to figure out how to act around me is _cute,_ I'm always there to warm him up in the winter while he cools me down in the summer, and the only reason Draconians are cheap is because they _hoard_ their money. He's actually a billionaire, ya know, and he doesn't hesitate to shove money in my pockets under the guise of groping me."

Tristan frowned. "Oh, come on. That can't be all."

"Okay, fine." Joey leaned toward him and smirked devilishly. "He's a complete _beast_ in bed and I like being his 'puppy.'"

"Dude, you've never let anyone call you a dog in any way before. What's up with that?" The brunet scowled. "What's so special about this guy?"

"The word 'puppy,' in Draconian, refers to a person's lover; the word is taken _very_ seriously, and to know that he thinks I'm his special partner for years to come makes it sweet enough that I can't hate him for calling me that." Spotting a flash of silvery-white, he let out a delighted squeal and jumped to his feet, running over to throw his arms around his lover's neck as he curled his legs around his waist. "Seto!"

The Draconian purred as he was greeted with a kiss, thrusting his tongue into his Earthling's mouth. "Mm, Joey—Can't even sneak up on you anymore—"

Breaking the kiss, the blond mewed and rubbed his cheek against the older boy's shoulder. "You were gone so long, though, Seto-! Two months is much too long!"

Seto chuckled and reached down to cup the blond's rear. "But now I've got an entire month's leave."

He didn't have to explain; Joey could fill in the blanks himself. A whole month's leave meant Seto spending time with his brother and spending time with him—usually for sex, sex, sex, which the blond heartily approved of. Because if there was one thing Draconians were known for, it was monstrous libidos and a surprisingly large repertoire of talented sexual touches.

"…I missed having you rub my tail," Seto murmured after a moment, then immediately buried his face in the blond's neck in embarrassment.

Draconian tails—though only twelve to fourteen inches long—were terribly sensitive, and most touches actually hurt them. To know that Seto missed him touching his tail meant more to him than the actual words 'I love you.'

Cooing lovingly, Joey pressed a few kisses against his neck before placing his feet back on the ground. "Come on, dragon. I'll buy ya a drink and then we can go home and I can show ya how much I missed ya."

The brunet hummed and allowed himself to be led to the bar. "Oh? I hope you missed me quite a bit, because I… missed you too." He frowned as he saw the blond's friend sitting at the bar as well, then scowled. "What is _he_ doing here?"

To say that it was a one-sided animosity would be lying. Tristan glared at him. "Hey, _I_ invited him to come with me. _You're_ the third wheel that just showed up!"

At that, the Draconian let out a snarl, and Joey was startled to find the white scales around his lover's eyes beginning to spread to cover the human-like skin on the rest of his face. Fearing that his best buddy may lose a limb to the impassioned Draconian, he hurriedly threw his arms around his neck again and thrust is tongue down his throat. "Mmn!"

The flames of fury turned quickly into flames of passion, as the lizard-like alien quickly turned his attention from killing to pleasuring. Pressing his lover against the bar, he released a snarl before he began kissing him fervently, accidentally allowing one stray, telepathic thought to ring out across the dance floor. _"__**Mine!**__"_

Joey flailed a little in surprise as the brunet began to rock against him in a definite humping motion, then pushed him away, gasping. "Seto, no-! Not here! Bedroom!"

Seto let out an annoyed rumble and hoisted him over his shoulder. "Fine. I assume you haven't changed the key code to your room at the hotel."

"—Actually, I finally saved up enough for an apartment! I borrowed a little from your account so I could get one with soundproof walls, but I figured you wouldn't—BYE TRISTAN!" the blond shouted, waving, as he was carried out of the bar. "WE'LL HANG OUT SOME OTHER TIME, OKAY!"

Tristan had no other choice but to agree. His wounded ego at having his friend stolen was quickly soothed by the Neptunian girl he'd been eyeing earlier buying him a drink.


	117. Red Lobster: T

Author's Note: You all may thank Academician for this one; I hope it's what you had in mind, buddy! And, since both ideas were just so good, you all get two stories in one drabble. BOW, PATHETIC MORTALS! DX

Red Lobster

"Ooooohhhhh!"

Seto sighed and glared at his computer for a moment. When he heard another whine, however, he sighed again and got o his feet. Walking over to the bedroom door, he paused, wondering if he really wanted to deal with his lover at the moment. Unfortunately, his mind was made up for him.

"Setooooo!"

Knowing that he'd be expected to come at the pathetic tone, the brunet growled in annoyance before opening the door and poking his head inside. "What?"

Joey let out a quiet whimper. "Help me…!"

Seto took a moment to examine him, frowning as he took in the red, slightly-peeling shoulders and chest. The blond was currently strewn across the bed (which Seto had thoughtfully changed from cotton to silk _all by himself,_ thank you), cheeks flushed (probably another burn). He was looking up at him desperately, even as he gripped the slippery blankets, teeth digging into his bottom lip as frustrated tears began to form in his eyes.

Despite wanting to only take the blond into his arms and kiss him soothingly, the CEO could only scowl. "I _did_ tell you to put on sunscreen, Joey."

"But it would have taken too long an' I just wanted t' go swim-!" Joey whimpered again. "Seto…!"

"You brought this upon yourself, puppy. _Mokuba_ put on sunscreen." Seto crossed his arms and glared at the blond sternly. "You need to learn more patience."

"Fine, I'll put sunscreen on _next_ time! Just—just help me _now!_" the younger boy begged, eyes wide and helpless.

The brunet huffed, then rolled his eyes and walked over to pluck the bottle of aloe from bedside table. "Have you put any of this on yet? It's supposed to help."

Joey mewed and squirmed a little. "No! I can't—it hurts to move!"

"…Of course it does," Seto deadpanned, then sat down beside him and drizzled some of the goo into his hands. "Brace yourself."

The blond screeched like a little girl. "_COLD!_"

"Sit still, puppy!" The older boy sighed but made sure to cover the burn evenly, despite hating the too-warm feeling beneath his fingers. He hated it when his puppy suffered like this. Unfortunately, he couldn't bring himself to baby his mate like he wanted to; if he didn't suffer now, he wouldn't learn from his mistake, and this would happen again. At least next time, Joey would think twice before running out to swim without sunscreen.

"Nn… Seto… would you bring me the remote for the TV?" Joey asked after a moment, pouting his lips the way he knew his lover found himself unable to deny.

Seto wiped his hands on his pants and sighed, then stood to retrieve the remote from the dresser. "Anything else?"

"…I could use a cold soda. And maybe a snack?"

"Alright. I'll be right back." Once he'd retrieved a few sandwiches and a couple of sodas (his puppy was still a voracious eater, even if he _was_ in pain) and had brought them back into the bedroom, he raised an eyebrow. "Well? Is there anything else you need?"

Joey turned his gaze away bashfully. "…Ya could keep me company. That is, if ya wanna."

Seto paused, frowning. He had a lot of work to do, and he'd be able to do it in relative peace and quiet because of the bed-ridden blond; however, then he'd feel guilty because he knew his pup would be lonely. On the other hand, if he ignored his work, he'd just have more things to do when he finally _did_ do it, and the pup would be up and bouncing around, making it difficult to concentrate. He'd have a happy pup, though, and happy lovers were always a good thing.

…Well, he didn't share a bed with his paperwork.

Rolling his eyes and sighing as if put upon, the brunet nodded and laid out on the bed. "All right, fine. I suppose I can spare maybe an hour or two."

Joey smiled at him brightly and moved to roll over and hug him. "—OH! GOD! That hurts!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey scowled and placed his hands on his hips. "Seto, you're not goin' out like that."

Seto blinked, then turned to look at him in surprise, still in the middle of putting on his trench coat. "…Why not?"

"Because, Seto, underneath all of that bulky fabric is a lobster-red sunburn," the blond explained shortly. Continuing, his speech gained a few flails and aggravated points (which Seto did not approve of, as the pointing was in his face). "Coverin' the sunburn so it can't get worse is all good, but puttin' _all_ that stuff on it is just gonna make it worse! The heat can't escape! Your burn's just gonna—_be_ there, for eternity!"

"…I don't think that's how sunburns work," the CEO began, frowning.

"NO! Ya have no idea how sunburns work because _you've never had one._" Joey huffed. "I still can't believe you're not in constant _pain—_" At the abrupt end of eye contact when the brunet turned his gaze on the wall, the younger boy narrowed his eyes. "…You're in pain, aren't you, Seto?"

"…Maybe," Seto replied slowly. He flinched when the blond reached out and prodded his shoulder, still badly burnt, and choked back a yelp of pain.

"Y-y-you _moron!_" the younger boy sputtered, furious. "Just pretendin' it didn't hurt and goin' about your business—I'm your _lover!_ You're not s'posed t' keep things like this from me! If you're hurt, I got a right t' know so I can take care of ya and—"

The brunet grabbed his shoulders before he could work himself into a tizzy and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. "Calm down puppy."

Joey let out a snarl. "Calm down? _Calm down?_ I'm gonna tie ya t' the bed and keep ya there until your skin's back t' normal and ya go back t' your white, hermity-self!"

Seto seemed to ponder this ranting before nodding slowly. "…Okay."

"And if ya try an' stop me I'm gonna—what?" The bond blinked at him in confusion. "…Didja just agree with me?"

"Of course, puppy," the CEO cooed, smirking. "After all, I'm sure that _you_ know better than I do about sunburns."

"…Y-yeah, but…" Joey frowned. "…Why…?"

"Of course, being tied to the bed for the duration of my healing, you'll have to feed me and keep me clean. I can't wait for the hand-feeding and sponge-baths, puppy," Seto finished, smiling lewdly.

The blond sputtered, then let out an embarrassed roar. "You _pervert!_ I'm just tryin' t' keep ya healthy and ya make somethin' dirty out of it!"

"Well? Aren't you going to tie me to the bed, puppy?"

"UGH!"


	118. Bones: M

Author's Notes: Sorry if you guys weren't able to review last chapter. I deleted the 'author's notes' page at the beginning of the story, so it screwed up the chapters/reviews. My bad. It just didn't seem necessary anymore, though!

Anyway, about _this_ particular drabble. All I can say is that I was in a strange mood when I wrote it, and it's definitely AU. I don't know what else there is to say, so… enjoy, I guess.

Bones

"Seto?"

The brunet in question grunted and lifted his head to peer at the questioner, eyes squinting. "What?"

Joey frowned and lifted a hand to gently stroke the older boy's chest. "…Do the other vampires ever make fun of ya because ya fuck a werewolf?"

"Of course they do," Seto replied, scowling. "What sort of stupid question is that?"

"…I was just wondering…" the blond whispered meekly, ducking his head. "'m sorry…"

The vampire sighed and pulled him closer. "Oh, puppy… It's not that I'm mad you asked. I'm mad that you _care._" When the pup mewed in confusion, he nuzzled the top of his head. "I don't care what other people say about me, and I _certainly_ don't care if they have something to say about us being together. You're the most giving, feisty, _passionate_ lover I've ever had. Nothing's ever boring with you, and I wouldn't give you up for the world."

Joey smiled and snuggled up against him, unable to help feeling pleased knowing that out of all of the lovers the CEO had had, he was his only favorite. "I love you…"

"It's not as if your pack hasn't said its fair share to _you_ about sleeping with me either," Seto mumbled, scowling, then huffed. "I love you too, puppy."

"…Well, they don't understand how I can stand t' be around ya 'cause of the smell, and they figure that ya bein' cold all the time has t' be aggravatin' for me when I need t' cuddle, too. And someone mentioned that ya keep your emotions t' yourself a lot, too, which has also gotta be tough on me, but… no one teases me because I chose ya as my mate," the blond murmured, rubbing his cheek against his chest.

The brunet growled. "I suppose it's because I smell like death."

Joey chuckled quietly. "Not t' me. _I_ think ya smell like old grave dirt, right after a long rain—all clean and earthy, the kind that's been there for a while, so it's all soft, and it's got some grass on it. I wouldn't mind buryin' a bone in that."

The vampire raised an eyebrow in surprise, then glanced down at him, unable to help the smirk growing on his face. "Bury a bone in it, puppy?"

"Oh! I didn't mean—I wouldn't really—Nyu!" The werewolf hid his face in the brunet's chest quickly, biting his bottom lip in embarrassment. "That's not what I meant!" He squealed quietly as the vampire sat up and pulled him into his lap. "Seto!"

"But puppy, you talking about bones gave me one," the brunet cooed, petting his thigh slowly.

Joey shivered as he felt his lover's erection against his thigh. "B-but I—S-Seto—"

Seto leaned his lips next to the blond's fluffy, twitching ear and whispered, "You'll help me bury my bone, won't you, Joey?"

"I-I…" The werewolf blushed, then nodded bashfully. "…Yes. Promise you'll help me bury it really deep?"

At that, the vampire was slightly surprised; his lover was usually so embarrassed, so shy, that any sort of perverted statement he made was shocking. "Ah… Of course I'll help you bury it deep, puppy."

Joey nibbled his bottom lip anxiously, then looked up at him from beneath his lashes. "I guess I don't care what the other vampires say, either. It's not like you see each other that often. You don't even like each other anyway."

Seto chuckled quietly. "I'm glad, puppy. However, if their comments really bothered you, I could always just rip out their tongues."

"Ooh, my big, strong alpha is so generous to his little mate," the blond cooed, cupping his cheeks and rubbing noses with him. "But I don't need any extra tongues; yours is just fine." He moaned quietly when the vampire pulled him into a short kiss, arching into him as their tongues momentarily curled together before he pulled away again. "Nn… We should bury that bone, Seto…"

"Hmm, yes, we should," the vampire replied, smirking. "Maybe after we unbury it, you can give it a good sucking."

Joey jerked back in surprise, then blushed. After a moment, though, he nodded, smiling lewdly. "As long as you suck on mine, I don't have a problem with that."

"I knew there was a filthy little slut in you somewhere," Seto cooed, before letting out a hiss and pouncing on his squirming, squealing lover.

"Nn! Seto!" Startled, the blond immediately arched his head back, exposing his neck to the greedy vampire's teeth.

The brunet approved of this heartily, kissing at the vein throbbing and begging for his attention. "I'm going to bite you now, puppy."

Joey was grateful for the warning, gasping as his body throbbed with pleasure as soon as the sharp teeth pierced his skin. "Oh God, that makes me so hot—talk dirty t' me, Seto—I wanna be so hot I can only claw at ya as ya pound me into the bed!"

Sucking at the wound momentarily, he released his throat and leaned back, smirking in a way that the blond found particularly attractive. "Should I tell you about how we're going to bury my bone?"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Oh, look—it's the Ice Queen and his little pet _bitch!_"

Joey cringed and held the brunet's arm tighter, then hurried to release it, knowing that Seto liked to have his arms free just in case one of the other vampires tried something. He was surprised, then, when his mate reached out for his hand and pulled him closer, and he looked up at him in confusion. "Seto?"

"Did you hear something? I could have sworn someone said they were jealous that I have such an incredible lover." Seto's eyes darkened. "Did you hear who said it, puppy?"

Baffled, but still willing to play his mate's game, the blond pointed at the group of vampires sneering at him to the man who had insulted them. "I think he did."

"I see." The brunet shot the other vampire a glare (the man smirked triumphantly at finally having roused a reaction out of him), then turned and sank his teeth into the werewolf's throat.

Joey let out a cry of pleasure as his legs buckled, throwing his arms around the older boy's neck so he wouldn't fall. He sobbed as the brunet caught his ass and pulled him closer, body throbbing with pleasure as he felt the vampire sucking his blood out. "God, Seto-! _Seto!_"

Seto growled as the blond suddenly fell limp in his arms, and he was pleased when the taste of his blood grew tangier with endorphins from sexual satisfaction. Licking at the wound gently, he lifted his head to kiss the werewolf's relaxed lips, then turned to the small group for vampires that had watched everything in stunned silence. "I'd like to see you make _anyone_ climax from just biting them."

"Nyo… Seto… Ya made me mess up my pants," the blond whispered in embarrassment. "In _public!_"

"I'm sorry, puppy," he cooed, pressing a few last kisses on his neck. "Let's get you home and cleaned up."

"Nn, I…" Joey blushed even more. "…I'd really like a bone when we get home, i-if you're in the mood."

At that, Seto grinned in a decidedly smug manner. "You still want sex even after _that?_"

The blond ducked his head and brought a hand up to his mouth. "…It made me a little hot. A-and you didn't get anything out of it… so…"

"…You are the only person that will ever satisfy me sexually ever again," the vampire declared, then tossed the blond over his shoulder.

"Nyeek!"

Seto turned to give the group of vampires one last glare. "You just _wish_ you had a lover like I do. We'll go visit your friend tomorrow, Joey. I now have the urge to give you quite a few bones."

Despite the public setting (quite a few people were staring, now, supernatural and otherwise), Joey couldn't help an excited squee of delight; he _did_ enjoy the days they just spend in bed almost as much as when they went out together.


	119. Gods and Nymphs: M

Author's Notes: Time for some shameless advertising. Gurechi has written a story called "Family Plans." And you all should go read it, because psychotic, manipulative Kaiba makes his appearance, and I LOVE HIM LIKE THAT. It's an awesome story, and I think you'd all really enjoy it. **:3**

Now, about this story… mischievous and nymph-o Jeno makes a comeback! …It's completely unrelated to "Nymphs." Just enjoy it and tell me what you think.

Gods and Nymphs

Seto scowled as he sensed someone coming up behind him and let out a rumble of displeasure. So many people had tried to get in his good graces, and he was tired of it. Turning to smite whoever dared to try and bother him now—amongst the humans and the living in general—he froze in his tracks when he saw big amber eyes gazing up at him, batting long, golden lashes at him in the coyest manner he'd ever seen.

"I've never seen _you_ around here," the blond cooed, placing his hand on his surprisingly curvy hip. He pulled at the top of his tunic absently, exposing a collarbone the Seto found he wanted to leave little bruises on. The boy—obviously a nymph, now that the brunet realized to look—tilted his head and smiled a little. "It's been a while since I've seen _anyone_ around here, really. So tell me… were you openly looking for a nymph, or did you just _happen_ upon me?"

"…I happened upon you," Seto replied after a moment, unable to help the smirk finding its way onto his face. "So tell me… what does that mean to you?"

The nymph hummed thoughtfully, his smile becoming a little more devious and a little less innocent. "Well, I'll admit that I've been a little lonely for human contact." Stepping closer, the younger boy lifted a hand and began playing with the collar of the brunet's shirt. "…I was hoping that perhaps… you might indulge me in some carnal pleasures?"

"You say pleasures; that's plural. What all do these carnal pleasures entail?"

"Hmm…" The blond pressed closer to him and placed a few playful kisses along his jaw. "I'd love it if you'd take me in your mouth; I'd return the favor, of course," he added, leaning back to look up at him with half-lidded eyes. "I'm actually very good at taking things down my throat."

Seto growled his approval and placed his hands on the blond's hips. "Oh? And what else do you want me to do?"

The nymph smirked. "I want to feel you inside me. I hope I'm not wrong in assuming that you'd be able to satisfy me—size-wise?"

"I'm quite certain that I'll be able to satisfy you physically, yes," the brunet deadpanned. "Am I allowed to know the name of whom I'm pleasuring?"

"Jeno." The blond leaned in to bite lazily on his earlobe, then moaned quietly as the grip on his hips dragged him closer, grinding them together in a way that sent tremors of pleasure thrumming up his spine. "Ooh!"

Seto nuzzled his throat and growled again. "Jeno. What a pretty name for a pretty nymph. Tell me, now—how would you like to be taken?"

"I want you to rut against me like a stallion, powerful but controlled—and still fast enough to satisfy. You can do that for me, can't you?" Jeno cooed innocently, batting his eyes in a manner proving that he was in no way innocent. "I promise I won't drown you or anything if you aren't an impossibly skilled lover."

The brunet's smirk returned when he realized that the nymph had every intention of drowning him if he wasn't physically satisfied with their love-making despite saying he wouldn't, and he was thrilled that the blond hadn't realized who he was dealing with yet. "I promise I'll be able to pleasure you properly, as long as you promise to scream my name when you reach your climax."

The blond mewed quietly as he was laid on the grass and spread his legs to allow him between them. "If you tell me your name, I'll try."

"Seto." Seto felt a flare of satisfaction when the nymph stopped thinking about the pleasure he wanted and looked up at him in confusion.

Jeno frowned. "…Seto? Like the God of the Dead?"

"No. Just Seto—God of the Dead." He took a moment to savor the expression of terror and dread forming on the blond's face and smirked. "Surprised to see me above ground? Yes, I suppose it would be to a naughty little nymph like you. But please, just 'Seto' is fine when you reach your climax. Though if you want to scream 'god' while we're at it, I don't mind."

"Oh gods—wait—_ah!_" Jeno squirmed, letting out a helpless whimper as the brunet tore his robes off.

"But Jeno, you _wanted_ me to pleasure you," Seto cooed, before his face twisted into a smug grin. "I promise to make sure you feel nothing _but_ pleasure, my pretty nymph."

The blond groaned and gripped the grass beneath him tightly, unable to help a frightened tremble. After all, the God of the Dead was known to be sadistic, but also truthful. He had no idea how he'd be tortured after they'd finished their love-making, and he could only hope that he wouldn't be humiliated and made into an example of what other people would suffer if they decided to try and threaten or embarrass the God of the Dead.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Jeno had decided that if he would be made to suffer afterward, he was going to make the most of their love-making. Seto had been surprised to find him almost insatiable, begging for a second time, and then a third, and, breathlessly, for a fourth. When they'd finished the fourth round, however, the blond had promptly passed out, leaving him with some time on his hands before he roused the nymph in order to punish him for his brazen attitude.

He was disgusted to say it, but he'd liked it; as much as the nymph had wanted to be taken, he'd actually been a very giving lover, clenching down just right and lifting his hips up helpfully and even just arching up into his touch, his bruised and swollen lips spilling all sorts of praise from how perfect his size was to how good the pace they were going was. He just _couldn't_ torture the nymph now, not after how grateful he'd been to be absolutely ravished.

It would truly be a pain trying to find someone else just as sensitive and giving as he was, too. The people he normally had sex with were usually just giving it as a last-ditch effort to not die, while this nymph had—at first—willingly asked for it, and hadn't begged for him to stop, or escaped using the tricks that all nymphs were skilled at, even though he'd given him the necessary opportunities to do so.

…It would be a shame to waste such a wanton beauty, really. Jeno was brave, sweet, and deliciously feisty despite being frightened of him initially. He supposed if he _did_ have to take someone down to the City of the Dead as his queen or consort, this little nymph would be the best. After all, he didn't want someone to just say 'yes, sir.' He wanted someone to say, 'why should I, sir?' Perhaps even someone who would say, 'go to hell, sir.'

Oh, hell, he _liked_ the nymph.

Seto shuddered in disgust. Ugh, he was going soft, and all because of some pretty brown eyes and some throaty, pleading 'yes, more, _Seto!'_s. How pathetic.

Sighing quietly, he stood and fixed his clothes, then slid his arms beneath the blond's back and under his knees, scooping him into his arms. He somehow knew that he'd have things thrown at him and he'd have some trouble with his chambers being flooded in the nymph's fury when he found himself kidnapped from everything he knew and brought to a place only his worst nightmares could compare to.

Oh, bother.


	120. Scars and Hickeys: M

Author's Note: I've been feeling a little rejected and sad, lately, so this drabble may not be up to par. **:**/ But I love you guys enough to post this anyway for you to judge yourselves…

**Reibar-Ookami used Withdraw! It's super-effective!**

Scars and Hickeys

"What's this one from?"

"Gang fight. Guy tried t' knife me. I kicked him in the balls."

Seto snorted quietly, then let his fingers drift from the blond's back to his side. "What about this one here?" he asked, tracing the long, thin scar. "What caused this?"

"Fell onto a barbed wire stretched out to catch someone else. Asshole bitched me out, sayin' I'd ruined his handiwork." Joey paused. "…I kicked him in the balls, too. Actually, anyone who royally pissed me off got kicked in the balls."

The brunet stared at him for a moment, stunned, then rolled his eyes, unconsciously thanking any gods anywhere that he had not 'royally pissed off' the younger boy. "I see."

"…But I'd never kick _you_ in the balls," Joey cooed after a few seconds of thought, smiling at him. "I like havin' your dick in _perfect_ workin' order!"

"Thank you," Seto deadpanned, before his lips twisted into a smirk. "I find it amusing that you like sex so much and then get so embarrassed when I leave hickeys on you."

The blond let out an embarrassed squeal. "But what if someone _sees_ them and _comments_ on them?"

The older boy purred and grabbed the blond's knees, prying them apart and settling between them. "What if I put the hickeys somewhere that _no one_ will see?"

"But I—well…" Joey blushed. "…As long as ya promise no one'll see 'em!"

Seto hooked his arms beneath the blond's knees and lifted his legs upward, turning to gently nuzzle the inside of his thigh. "Who else but me would ever look between your thighs for marks?"

"Aha-!" The blond bit his bottom lip and blushed a little more as the older boy's lips attached to the inside of his thigh and he began to suck. "If—if anyone sees 'em, Seto—"

The brunet let out an angry snarl and looked up at him sharply. "I just _said,_ mutt, that _I_ am the only one that should see the hickeys here. Unless, of course, you're spreading your legs for someone else—"

"No! No! I'm sorry!" Joey squeaked, mewling helplessly when the brunet began to use his teeth. "Nyu! Seto! Ya know I get all hot when ya use your teeth on me, and—"

Sitting up straight, Seto grinned in a decidedly lewd manner. "Well, it just so happens that my dick is in perfect working order. Would you like to take advantage of that, puppy?"

"…Yes. Yes, I would," he replied, then let out a snarl of his own and tackled him backward with every intent to ride him until they both passed out. "_My_ dragon!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey frowned in confusion as he heard a snort but refused to open his eyes, instead choosing to focus on rinsing the soap out of his hair. When he was nudged, however, and the snickering continued, he finally tilted his head and opened his eyes. "What?"

"Are those hickeys, or did a mosquito find its way between your legs?" one of the guys who always teased him outside of class asked, then laughed.

Joey blinked in confusion, then blushed. The blush of embarrassment soon turned to one of fury, however.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"_KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_"

Seto blinked, then turned as his lover came stomping out of the showers, towel held tightly around his waist as he grumbled and growled and stormed over to his locker. He watched the blond mutter to himself as he scrubbed himself dry with another towel, then timidly asked, "So… who made the girly scream?"

"ARGH!" Spinning toward the brunet in fury, he snarled, "Someone commented on my hickeys!"

"…The ones between your thighs?"

"YES, the ones between my thighs!"

Seto frowned. "…And you made that person scream?"

"He _deserved_ t' be kicked in the balls! He's been askin' for it for months!" the blond exclaimed defensively.

"…You're on your own with this one, puppy. I can't keep getting you out of trouble with the principal, and you weren't really provoked this time."

Joey narrowed his eyes. "He was _lookin'_ where ya said no one _would._"

"Oh, I'll screw him over outside of school, don't worry, puppy. …I just can't get you out of trouble if he goes to the teachers or anything," Seto explained.

The blond sighed. "Well, can't say that I didn't see that one comin'. It's been two weeks since I've had a detention; I'm sure the teachers are just waitin' t' have a reason." He tilted his head a little, then smiled in a decidedly dark manner that made his lover shiver a little. "But you'll be here t' pick me up after detention, because it's your fault I hafta suffer through one. _Right?_"

"…I will _definitely_ be here to pick you up after detention." Seto paused, then added, "And because I don't want you to kick me in the balls."

"Don't worry; I like your penis too much t' hurt it. I'd just punch ya in the face instead!" Joey explained cheerfully.

"…That actually does _not_ make me feel better, puppy."

The blond shrugged and lifted his hands as if weighing something. "Functional penis and a black eye, or out-of-commission penis and pretty face?"

The brunet took a few moments to seriously ponder the two options. "…Functional penis and a black eye."

"I'll keep that in mind next time I get pissed. Now get lost so I can get dressed! I know ya just wanna jump me when I'm gettin' dressed!"

Seto snorted as the blond winked at him. "Tch, fine. I'll see you when I pick you up."

"…I'll probably wanna jump ya as soon as we get in the limo and give ya a few hickeys myself. Just so ya know."

"…You always want to neck."

Joey smiled brightly. "Necking is fun!"

The CEO decided not to argue that sex was even more fun; he'd probably get the chance to prove it later, after some vigorous necking.


	121. Seeing Red: K Plus

Author's Note: It seems like it's been a while since I just did an innocent, humorous drabble. Still feeling a little bummed, but at least I'm okay enough to give you this. **:)**

Seeing Red

"…What's the matter, mutt? Finally admitting that your comebacks are stupid? You don't have anything to say?" Seto asked, smirking condescendingly.

Joey's eye twitched. He'd tried so hard. He really, _really_ had. But… the brunet wasn't wearing his usual black turtleneck. No, this time he was wearing a red sweater—he suspected it had something to do with Mokuba. And now…

"…Mutt?"

"I can't take you seriously," he stated bluntly, stunning the older teen for a moment. Before he could get angry and rebuttal, the blond continued, "You _really_ don't look good in red. I'm sorry." So saying, he turned and walked away.

Yugi and Tristan blinked in surprise before hurrying after him. "Are you fucking _serious,_ Joey?"

"I have to admit, Joey, you usually don't even notice what a person's wearing."

"He just looks really fucking stupid in red! It's not my fault he can pull off every other color and just happened to wear the one color that he _can't!_"

Téa frowned and tilted her head thoughtfully. "…Joey's right. Red isn't a very good color for your complexion. It makes you look washed out—almost like you're sick." She glanced back at her friends thoughtfully, then looked back up at him and smiled, helpfully adding, "You should stick to cool colors and leave the reds to people with darker complexions!"

Seto blinked as he watched her suddenly turn and scamper after the rest of the Geek Squad, then turned and scowled at his little brother. "I _told_ you I didn't want to wear this fucking sweater!"

Mokuba held his hands up helplessly. "All of your black ones were in the wash! I'm sorry!"


	122. Hacker's Delight: M

Author's Note: Yugi16dm gave me the idea. Yeah, this was written really quickly, so it's probably not as awesome as it could be, but… the idea was just too funny not to share immediately!

Hacker's Delight

Seto sighed and sat back in his seat. He'd finished his paperwork for the moment. None of his employees had recently shown incompetence, so he couldn't fire anyone. Any of his rival companies were too busy trying to come out with better products (which was unlikely to happen) to try and sabotage him. And he'd beaten all of the computer games his brother had given him.

Frowning, he glared at his computer, then huffed in annoyance and sat up straight, calling out, "Mokuba! I'm bored! Amuse me!"

"Are you serious? I have friends over! Amuse yourself!" There was a pause. "…Hack something! BUT NOTHING THAT WILL GET YOU ARRESTED!"

Seto snorted at the thought of getting arrested. He was too good at hacking to get caught.

But what to hack? He knew none of his business rivals were worth hacking; his products were leagues ahead of what they were just now developing. Hacking any government computers was a no-go as well, as governments tended to freak out if they even _suspected_ that they _might_ be hacked. Even if he couldn't be traced, they'd still panic and run around like chickens with their heads cut off—

Speaking of animals, he remembered that Joey had just recently gotten a laptop from an anonymous source. Of course, he knew that Mokuba had been the anonymous source, because he still kept tabs on his little brother's spending habits. Apparently, he wanted to make it easier for the blond to get in contact with his sister, and the laptop would make that happen.

…He could see how that gift was being put to use. It's not like he had anything better to do.

'_Ooh, the puppy's at an internet café. Let's see what he's surfing.'_

Seto could be honest; he wasn't surprised by the Skype account, the World of Warcraft account, and the history including some porn sites. He was, however, surprised to find the art site account with dozens of popular sketches under Joey's name, the Neopets account, and the fact that all of the porn sites were _gay_ porn sites. Hmm. The puppy was surprisingly quite the enigma.

'_Hmm, pictures… So many sketches… The puppy should think of a career in art.'_

Spying a folder called 'Fun Stuff,' the brunet clicked on it. He was only slightly surprised to find photos of the blond with various friends. It seemed the pup never really had fun unless he was with his friends. When he saw the other folder inside it, however, named only ; ), he had to click on it.

'_What is—Oh God naked!'_

Seto jerked backward in his seat in surprise, toppling over in a pathetic pile of ouchiness. "What the-!" He took a moment to right both the chair and himself, then turned his attention back to the computer, frowning.

Joey. He was _naked._ As in, not wearing any clothes. And there were no tan lines. Yes, the blond was tan, but _there were no tan lines._ That meant… that meant that the puppy tanned _naked._ Naked, with the sun shining on his body enough to make it glow, and he probably just laid out innocently, maybe even napped, not realizing how dangerous it would be if a murderer passed by and thought him an easy target, or a pervert noticed him and started masturbating in the bushes—

Or if a certain CEO happened upon him and _mauled_ him.

"Seto, I'm sorry I snapped at you. I didn't mean to—Seto, you're bleeding!"

Seto blinked slowly, then lifted his gaze from the computer screen to his brother. "…What?"

"Your nose, it's bleeding!" Mokuba exclaimed, pointing at his face. "Didn't you notice?" He rushed over to grab some tissues and shove them into his brother's face when he realized he was only being stared at blankly. "God, what were you even looking at?"

"Um…"

"OH GOD MY _EYES!_ WHY IS HE _NAKED?__!_ …WHY DO YOU HAVE PICTURES OF JOEY NAKED?"

"I believe the better question is, why does Joey have pictures of _himself_ naked?"

The younger boy stared at his brother for a moment, then scowled. "You got this bloody nose because you were staring at his _naked body,_ didn't you?"

Seto frowned. "I must admit that I am unaware of when my bloody nose occurred."

"…Ugh! You shouldn't be allowed to be bored!" Mokuba threw his hands up in frustration. "You're bothersome when you're bored!"

"…On the other hand, I am no longer bored. In fact, I'm delighted." The brunet smirked and leaned back in his seat, somehow managing to seem smug even as he held a wad of tissues to his nose. "Hmm, maybe I'll have a word with him on Monday…"

"You're gonna make him mad at me. If that happens, I will be pissed. Outrageously so. …_I'll kill you._"

The older boy chuckled nervously. "Didn't you say you had friends over, Mokuba? You shouldn't just leave them by themselves; run along."

"I'll 'run along' _you._"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Ack!" Joey yelped as someone caught his shoulder and spun him to slam him against the wall. "Ow!"

"I need to talk to you," Seto stated, glaring at him.

"…Why?" the blond asked quietly, frowning in concern; he had a terrible feeling about this.

The older boy merely grunted and moved his grip to the blond's wrist, dragging him to the janitor's closet and shoving him in unceremoniously.

Joey stumbled a little but quickly turned to face his rival, unwilling to leave himself open to attack. "Whatta ya want, Kaib—" He yelped again as the brunet slammed him against the wall, but was alarmed when the older boy's body pressed against his. "—Buh…?"

Seto's eyes darkened—Joey assumed it was because of anger. "I was checking the laptop my brother bought remotely—just to see what was going on with it. Do you know what I found, puppy?"

Joey felt his blood run cold at that, but felt playing stupid like he always did was the way to go about not being killed. "W-what?"

"Funny, it had a bunch of artwork and _porn_ on it. _Gay_ porn."

'_Oh God, is he gonna beat me up?'_ The blond couldn't help an anxious whimper. "…S-so?"

The brunet smirked. "I also found an interesting little folder among pictures of you with your friends. Do you know what I found in that folder?"

"…Oh God," Joey whispered in realization, paling. "Those pictures—I forgot t' delete 'em—"

"You certainly did," Seto agreed, smirk growing into a wicked grin. "Tell me, puppy, why would you take nude pictures of yourself?"

The blond turned his head away and bit his bottom lip as he tried not to tremble. "…I-it was just for fun. I was gonna delete 'em. I was just bored and I had a camera…" He couldn't avoid releasing a helpless sob. "God, Kaiba, don't tell anyone!"

"Only if you answer two questions for me, puppy." The older boy slipped a finger into the waistband of the blond's pants and tugged lightly. "Why don't you have any tan lines?"

"Don't tan with clothes on-! Don't show them t' anyone, Kaiba, I can't—"

"What are you willing to give me in exchange for your silence?" Seto cut in, still grinning.

Joey whimpered vulnerably. "…What do ya want?"

The brunet seemed to purr at that, leaning his face so his lips brushed the younger boy's ear. "I want you to come to my home and tan by my pool."

"I don't have any money but— …Excuse me, what?" the blond deadpanned, glaring at him.

Seto raised an eyebrow. "Tan by my poolside. Naked."

"I'm sorry, I just don't seem t' understand. _Why?_"

The brunet smirked again. "I'll have the chance to see you naked in real life. I'll have the chance to touch you. I'll have the chance to see if you _really_ have no tan lines."

It took a few moments, but when the statements registered, Joey couldn't help a surprised gasp. "You're a pervert! …A gay one!"

"I'm not the only gay pervert, judging by the amount of porn you've looked at—" Seto began, but was immediately cut off.

"At least I'm a pervert in the privacy of my own home! You're tryin' t' blackmail _me_ int' bein' your _personal_ porn!"

"…In the privacy of my own home, despite it being outside," the brunet added, baffled as to why the two things were different.

Joey growled a little, still feeling helpless; the brunet had seen the pictures, had probably gotten copies, and was currently holding all of the power. He didn't want to piss him off and be publicly embarrassed. "…Fine. Just once, though!" he replied, glaring at him. "Is there anything else? You're not gonna try and molest me while I'm doin' that, are ya?"

Seto looked offended at the thought. "Of course not! What sort of monster do you think I am?"

'…_The kind of monster that blackmails me into lying naked on your poolside.'_ "Whatever. If we're done here—"

"Molesting implies that you'd be unwilling," the brunet continued, ignoring him. "I have every confidence that you'll want my attention by the time I decide to give it to you."

"_Ugh!_ Pervert—Bastard—Asshole—Stupid—UGH! There are so many words for you and your despicableness that I can't even get them all out!" Joey hissed angrily.

Seto rolled his eyes, then sighed. "I'm expecting you to be at my house by four o'clock on Saturday." So saying, he turned to leave the room.

"Did you even listen to me-? ARGH!" The blond gripped his hands into tight fists and imagined punching the older boy's brains in.

…Why hadn't he just done that before? _'Musta been distracted by that hard thing pokin' my hip—Wait.'_ Blinking, the blond took a moment to think about the position he'd just been in, sandwiched tightly between the wall and the brunet. _'…Was that his __**penis?**__ He was turned on by me!'_ Despite the anger and frustration, he felt a flare of pride.

He, Joey Wheeler, a _male_ and so-called mediocre duelist, had aroused the great, unflappable Seto Kaiba.

'_I'm sure I can torture him a little while I'm at his stupid pool anyway,'_ he decided, frowning, and scratched his head. Perhaps he could make use of this new information.

Starting with torturing the stupid jerk. Maybe he'd just… innocently spill some of his drink on himself. Oops, silly, clumsy little Joey, spilling his drink on himself! Well, he could just use his fingers to get it and lick them clean—slowly and carefully, showing Seto just how _talented_ his tongue was, and not just for talking smack!

Joey chuckled darkly; he hadn't felt such malicious glee since he'd been part of a gang. He'd make Kaiba pay for thinking he'd take his threats lying down.


	123. Glittering: M

Author's Note: This is a continuation of _Gods and Nymphs._ Because I find myself falling in love with Jeno. -_- Enjoy, I guess!

Glittering

"I HATE YOU! GODS ALMIGHTY, I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE! I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A FUCKING COW AND ARE FORCED TO CARRY ITS BABY, YOU JERK! _I HATE YOU!_"

Seto heard the roaring of water, and things smashing and being destroyed. Once there was silence, however, he opened the door and peered inside to find the blond nymph lying in the middle of the room, panting from exertion. "Are you quite finished?"

"…Hate you…" A tear of frustration rolled down Jeno's cheek. "Why didn't you just torture me and leave me? Anything would be better than being stuck down here!"

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "I told you that you were to be my wife. You wore the dress. You even said 'I do."

"I thought you might hurt me if I said no!" the nymph wailed, then covered his face with a helpless sob. "There's no sunlight down here, no clean water except from the taps! Some psychotic spirits threatened to hurt me if I didn't convince you to allow them back to the mortal realm! Why couldn't you just punish me and leave!"

At that, the god's eyes narrowed. "You really want me to punish you?"

Jeno looked up at him and frowned, brows drawing together anxiously as he took in the angry aura his husband was exuding. "…S-Seto…"

"Why didn't you tell me they'd threatened you? I would have taken care of them." Seto stepped toward him and growled, unconsciously causing the lamps lighting the room to go dim in his fury. "It's my job to keep the spirits in line. If they're threatening my wife, they are _not_ in line. Why didn't you tell me?" he repeated, eyes beginning to glow.

Jeno got to his feet and backed away quickly, letting out a quiet squeak as his back hit the wall. "I-I… I don't… know… Nn!" He gasped as the brunet's fist slammed into the wall beside his head. "Oh!"

"Why won't you accept that you're my wife, that the City of the Dead is your new home?" the brunet continued, pressing closer to the nymph as he began to tremble. "I brought you here so that I'd have someone I could depend on, someone to perhaps relax with—someone that didn't care who I was as long as _you_ were happy."

"You make me sound like some selfish little whore—" Jeno exclaimed defensively, but was immediately silenced by the glare he was being given.

Seto hissed angrily. "Well, Jeno, you're a _nymph._ That's almost synonymous with 'whore' in the human world." When the blond whimpered, he sighed and jerked his gaze away. "…I'm sorry. That was unfair."

"…But you're right. I didn't even know who you were—I just offered myself to you—" Jeno whispered, face twisting into a broken mask of shame and regret. "If I'd never met you, I'd probably still be opening my legs for anyone I came across. I… I can't do that now. I just… I just know that no one… _No one_ will ever be able to satisfy me like you do, so big, and so skilled at touching me… Even if I fell in love with someone else, I'd only be able to imagine you as we shared bodies."

"Good. You're _my_ wife. _Mine._ You shouldn't want _anyone_ else to touch you now," the god stated icily. "I'll kill anyone that tries!"

The nymph shivered and arched his back slightly a little. "Oh…! Don't say things like that!"

"Why not? It's true. You're _my_ wife, and therefore only _I_ am allowed to take your body—especially when you want it rough! No human would be able to understand how sturdy your body really is when it looks so slender—Only other nymphs or gods would know! I'd like to see anyone else show you your place by spanking you until you beg to be taken and then taking you hard and fast the way you want to!

"Humans think that sex is something gentle, something to be treasured, as if they'd never be able to have it again! Becoming my wife has only benefited you, and you're belittling and bemoaning your position! I should whip your back right now—"

The blond tossed his head back with a loud, wanton cry. "Oh!"

Seto blinked at him for a moment before his lips twisted into a smirk. "I've turned you on, have I?"

Jeno snarled in embarrassment. As a nymph, he was naturally amorous! The brunet had no right to be insulting him, especially when he was the one usually jumping him. "Shut u—_Oh…!_" His head arched back as the god pressed more firmly against him, letting out a thankful sigh as he felt his clothes being ripped off. "Yes, yes—Rut me into the wall! Take me on the floor! More! More than just your tongue and teeth—_Ah!_ Oh, _yes!_" He moaned as he was thrown onto the still-soaked bed, sighing at the feel of water around him before letting out an impassioned cry as his husband did exactly what he'd asked him to and more.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Jeno's eyes sparkled as he clasped his hands together, staring in awe at the glittering water of the new addition to the castle. He turned to look up at his husband hopefully, eyes pleading as he gazed at him with all of the adoration he could muster—which, at the moment, was quite a lot.

Seto sighed and waved for him to go. "Go on."

The nymph squealed in glee and didn't even pause to take off his robes as he dove into the water. He didn't know what had possessed the god to put in this medium-sized lake, but he was glad, as he clawed his way gracefully through the water. There had been so little water for him to work with—and now he had this beautiful lake—all he wanted to do was bask in it forever! Seto had been so kind, even after he'd been so mean to him-!

The brunet smiled a little as he watched the nymph swim around happily. He'd been reluctant to do much for him—the blond _had_ been rude to him since he'd brought him to the City of the Dead—but seeing how pleased he was, how much more he glowed with health, he realized that a bathtub just _wasn't enough._ The water nymph had needed more than that.

He'd been antsy and irritable not because he hated being with him, but because he physically _needed_ to be near water. For some reason, that was highly comforting.

Turning to leave and give the nymph a little time for himself, Seto was surprised when he heard the soft coo of his name. He turned back to the lake in surprise, eyes immediately locking on the skin being exposed through the soaked white fabric.

Jeno crooked his finger at his husband in a 'come hither' motion and smiled lecherously. "Oh, _Seto._ Did you know that some nymphs can get incredibly more amorous when in water?"

"…No, I hadn't," the brunet replied truthfully, raising an eyebrow.

The nymph suddenly moaned and shivered, trembling a little as the lapping of the water caused his sopping wet robes to sway and brush his skin in a way he'd only ever found erotic. "Oh…! Nn, if you don't want to come… I-I mean, if you don't want to come _in,_ I understand, I just—_mn…!_" Jeno moaned again as he was pulled up against the god's hard body. "…Seto…"

Seto held the blond tightly, unable to believe how sensitive the water was making his little nymph. He just _couldn't_ let this experience go to waste in good conscience—especially when the blond had specifically asked for him to stay.

Perhaps this marriage wasn't doomed to be completely loveless after all.


	124. Poolside: M

Author's Note: Well, you asked for it, so here's your sequel to Hacker's Delight!

Poolside

Seto glared. And glared some more. Then, just for good measure, he glared _harder._

People shouldn't be so relaxed when they were naked. …_Joey_ shouldn't be so relaxed when he was naked! Just because Seto had a fence and a security team and security cameras and a hand-made-with-love-and-paranoia security alarm (including robot Dobermans and German Shepherds that could be deployed at a moment's notice) didn't mean he should just stretch out and bask like he were in his own home!

…Okay, so he was mostly pissed that Joey had demanded that he stay at least five feet away at all times. That meant no touching him, which he _really_ wanted to do, because all of that golden skin was just _begging_ him to. _'Seto!'_ it said. _'Please touch me! Joey looks at porn all the time, but we want to know what a __**real**__ man's hands feel like!'_

'_Joey said __**no.**__ I'd love to touch you, but I'm a man of my word,'_ he replied, then immediately felt like a moron. He realized that Joey's skin wasn't _really_ talking to him, so why—

'_Please! We just want to feel your fingers running over me, touching us, making us feel __**wanted**__ for the first time in our lives—'_

'_Whoa, whoa, __**whoa.**__ When has Joey not been wanted?'_ Seto scowled. _'I've always thought he was cute.'_

'…_Could have knocked __**me**__ over with a feather, bruising me all the time,'_ the golden skin replied, then fell silent.

The brunet's brows furrowed together. Maybe he should listen to Mokuba and see a therapist.

"Meep!"

Seto looked at the younger boy in surprise, but found his eyes locked once again on the golden flesh of his chest. Or, rather, the foamy orange liquid dripping down it. His soda must have exploded when he opened it.

THIS WAS TORTURE! Watching the soda glide down his skin like his fingers wanted to run over it, he felt offended that the blond would allow his soda to molest him and not the CEO.

"Geh. Yuck. Kaiba, ya got a towel?"

Was it just him, or was Joey acting much too coy? Fluttering his eyelashes at him and looking up at him so sweetly—

"…K-Kaiba? Are you okay? You look… angry…" Joey trailed off, shrinking back a little. "…I-if ya want me t' leave, I…"

"Absolutely not. If I'm going to be driven crazy I'd like it to be done thoroughly so I don't have to deal with being coherent."

The blond blinked at him in confusion. "…What?"

"I don't want you to leave," the brunet reiterated.

Joey's expression took on a suspicious undertone. "…If ya say so…" He eyed the older boy a moment longer before relaxing in his seat. "…Ya got a towel, Kaiba?"

"…Probably, yeah," the CEO mumbled, scowling; he sincerely doubted that the blond would believe the excuse that there were no towels whatsoever in his mansion, and he couldn't just come out and say 'I'd rather lick you clean.'

That would just end with a black eye.

.-.-.-.-.-.

He should have at least _tried_ to lick him clean, Seto decided sourly. Watching the blond casually wipe the mess away and then flop back in his seat wasn't nearly as sexy as he'd hoped. …Then again, thinking about it now, Joey would probably have broken something very precious if he'd tried. …Like his manhood.

He flinched at the thought.

He looked at the blond sharply as he heard a high-pitched moan and swallowed thickly as he watched the younger boy stretch, then sigh and fall limp again.

Oh, what was this? The puppy had fallen asleep? Had no one ever taught him that it was unsafe to fall asleep in a dragon's den?

Leaning over the vulnerable blond, he took a moment to examine him. Joey had long eyelashes. He knew women that would _kill_ to have lashes as long as his. The golden lashes gently fanned out to brush his cheeks like a butterfly kiss, drawing attention to the light dusting of freckles over his cheekbones. Eyes traveling downward, the brunet licked his lips unconsciously as he caught sight of the blond's. He couldn't help but think they were kissable, so pink, with a natural pout.

Seto cupped his cheek and brushed his thumb over the younger boy's bottom lip. "You're so beautiful. It doesn't seem fair; you've probably been punched plenty of times, but your skin is still so smooth and flawless. Hmm—I spoke too soon," he stated quietly, lifting his other hand to brush his long bangs back. "Is this why you wear your hair like this? To cover this scar?"

It cut from the side of his forehead down to the corner of his eye close to his nose. Had someone tried to blind him in a fight? To kill him? …In any case, he survived. Seto still felt his heart burn with anger.

…Joey was asleep. Stealing just one kiss wouldn't hurt, would it? He never had to know…

Seto licked his lips and leaned down a little, hovering just above the blond's lips hesitantly. Then, remembering how deeply the blond could sleep (cameras from the Battle City blimp had confirmed it), he dipped his head the final few millimeters, brushing their lips together chastely.

The brunet grunted in surprise as a pair of arms wrapped his neck and pulled him closer, mashing their lips together roughly. He was ready to struggle, but then he felt a tongue brush his lower lip. Assured that he wasn't going to be hurt (at least for the moment), the older boy parted his lips and moaned as the blond's tongue immediately found his own.

Joey put up an admirable fight, sucking and licking as he dug his nails into the brunet's back, but eventually, he mewed into the kiss and submitted, holding onto him tightly. When he broke the kiss, he blinked his eyes open slowly, frowning. "…I talk when I sleep, Kaiba."

"…Not all the time," Seto argued quietly.

"Hmm." The blond tilted his head thoughtfully, then nodded. "Fair enough."

That was all the warning the CEO got before he was kicked off. He flailed, trying to catch his balance as he stumbled backward, but suddenly the ground was gone beneath his foot, and he tumbled back.

Wet. He was _wet._ In the pool. _He was kicked into the pool!_

Sputtering and cursing angrily, he surfaced and clung to the side of the pool, tossing his wet hair out of his eyes, then glared as he saw the blond hurrying to shimmy into his pants. "What the _fuck—_"

"Takin' advantage o' me while I'm supposedly sleepin'! I'm not interested in bein' one of your conquests!"

"I never _wanted_ to make you a conquest!"

"Well then this is just some other attempt t' belittle me or make me feel stupid! You're tryin' t' humiliate me again! Well, moneybags, you can go fuck with someone else, because I'm not interested in bein' abused!" Joey grabbed his shirt and shoes; he had no intention of mentioning that he'd be holding that one kiss in his memory to think about late at night when he was feeling lonely, because he'd felt like he was actually _wanted_ for a moment.

Feeling wanted by Seto Kaiba, one of the most eligible bachelors in the country—the world, even!—made him feel… really, really good.

Joey heard splashing and frantically took off at a sprint, but the number one pool rule seemed to have slipped his mind. His feet slipped on the slick cement. He flailed wildly to try and catch his balance, knowing that it would hurt if he fell, and let out a startled squeak as his back thumped against a hard chest. "Ah-!"

"Joseph Wheeler, if I only wanted someone for a fling, I would have picked someone a whole hell of a lot less high-maintenance!" Seto snarled, grabbing him tightly so he couldn't run away.

The younger boy bleated as he was thrown back onto the deck chair he'd been lying on earlier. "Kaiba-!"

"If I really hated you, I'd have wiped your hard drive or used those stupid photos as leverage against you to _really_ humiliate you!" the brunet snapped, glaring at him. "I _definitely_ wouldn't have invited you to my home so I could look at you naked! I was even nice enough to turn off the cameras that would have recorded you!"

"Eep!" Despite hearing that the cameras were turned off, Joey curled into a ball and blushed. "…S-still doesn't explain where this sudden interest is comin' from!"

At that, the CEO was baffled. "Sudden interest? I've always been interested." When the blond glared at him, he frowned. "Do you think I'd make fun of you if I wasn't interested in you? If I didn't like you, I'd just ignore you."

"…HOW WAS I SUPPOSED T' FIGURE THAT OUT?" Joey roared, completely appalled. "If you're hopin' t' date me, you're goin' backwards! Ya date me first, and _then_ ya get me naked! Do I look like a complete hussy?"

Seto took a step back in confusion. "…When did I call you a hussy?"

"Ugh! If ya ever wanna date me, ya got a lot of grovelin' t' do!" the blond continued, standing again.

He scowled at the thought of groveling at all. "Seto Kaiba grovels to _no one._" The brunet paused when the younger boy shot him an offended glare. "…Except his puppy, of course."

Joey continued to glare at him, then huffed, pulling his shirt on quickly. "Well, better get grovelin'. 'cause I ain't datin' ya until I think you've suffered enough!"

Unfortunately, he had no idea how Seto's mind worked, so he was completely unprepared for the giant stuffed dog clutching a heart being delivered to him in homeroom. He was surprised by the bar of chocolate as big as his backpack waiting on his desk in math. And he _definitely_ didn't expect to have a gourmet lunch prepared and set out for him and his friends when they entered the lunch room.

He consented to a date just to save himself from anymore embarrassment.


	125. Platypi and Swans: T

Author's Note: Yes, I have been surfing Cracked. The list was "The 6 Cutest Animals That Can Still Destroy You." I wasn't too shocked, honestly. And yes, Seto and Mokuba are equally insane. They're brothers; it's probably genetic. :)

Platypi and Swans

"…Why are you printing out a picture of a platypus? …And a swan?" Seto asked slowly, brows furrowing together as he watched the papers print out on his personal printer (he didn't _like_ it when Joey used his printer, because he never refilled the paper, but he was too confused to be pissed right now).

Joey smiled at him innocently. "Well, I've never drawn a platypus before, and I figured it would be a fun challenge. And I'm doin' a commission for someone that has to do with swans. I like swans; they're graceful and pretty. And platypussies are cute!" he added cheerfully.

"…Platypi. Please call them platypi when you're using plurals," the brunet sighed. "Please."

The younger boy looked baffled. "What's wrong with 'platypussies,' Seto?"

So Joey's bouts of naiveté were numerous and pretty cute. Just not right now. "Just call them platypi!"

Joey frowned at the frustrated order, then shrugged. "Okay, fine. Platypi. They're still really cute."

Seto rolled his eyes and sighed as he motioned the blond out of his computer chair. "Fine, they're cute." He smiled a little as the blond kissed his cheek, then watched him turn to leave. "I find it ironic that you chose the two cutest animals that can still maul you for your art subjects. …Sort of reminds me of you, so cute, but still so violent," he added under his breath.

The blond paused on his way to the door, then looked over his shoulder at him, brows furrowing together in confusion. "…Cutest animals… that can still maul me…?"

The older boy raised an eyebrow. "You didn't know?"

"…Know what?" Joey asked slowly, turning to face him.

"Swans are just like teenage girls, puppy. They're pretty, but they're still mean as hell," Seto explained. "They're aggressive and territorial. Sometimes, the only way you can get a swan to stop attacking you is to grab it by the neck and literally _throw_ it away, because swans go for blood."

The blond squeaked in horror. "For blood?"

"It's not uncommon that rowing teams in Ireland to cancel practice if there's a swan in the river. Now, these are healthy, athletic men that would have no trouble fending off an attacker—that are terrified of swans," the brunet continued, then frowned thoughtfully. "Though the fear could also been instilled in them by their coaches. I did once see a rowing coach with a beak-shaped scar where his left eye should be…"

"Wha-!" Joey looked down at the photo of a regal, beautiful swan, then shuddered and threw it away, shrinking back when the paper fluttered back toward him. "Ngh!"

"And platypi are poisonous. At least, males are." Seto's frown grew more pronounced. "I think-? Yes. It's just the males that are poisonous." He nodded firmly.

The blond's face fell. "…Poisonous…?"

The brunet crossed his arms and closed his eyes to concentrate; it had been quite some time since he'd learned about platypi, and he didn't want to give his puppy the wrong information. "Yes. They have poisonous spurs on their back legs that they use for… dominance duels and self-defense. Was the duels the word…? Yes. Dominance duels."

"…But if they just use the poison for those things—" Joey began, but was cut off.

"Humans don't get poisoned on _purpose,_ Joey. But if they do get poisoned, they're sent to the emergency room, and they have recoveries that can last for _months_ because their muscles are screaming in agony and refuse to do anything they're told. I've been told a man screamed for hours in pain and had to be sedated."

The blond shuddered again as the picture of the adorable, innocent platypus slipped from his fingers and fluttered to the floor as well. "Nngh!"

Seto chuckled quietly. "It's sort of funny. Nature took some spare parts to make the platypus, then added venom just to fuck with the rest of us. Talk about an epic mind fuck." He jumped as he heard a wail and looked up quickly, just in time to see his lover flee the room, leaving the two pictures behind and nearly knocking Mokuba over.

Mokuba looked over his shoulder in confusion, then continued to walk into the brunet's office, placing a pile of papers on his desk. "Here's my essay for you to proofread, Seto. What was all _that_ about?" he asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

The older brother frowned. "I was just explaining to him that swans and platypi were dangerous despite being beautiful or cute…"

"…Seto. Stop raping his childhood," Mokuba deadpanned, then turned to leave while his brother sputtered. "Children are taught that swans are beautiful and platypi are cute, not that they're dangerous. You just killed part of his brain."

"Wha-! Bu-! I-! How-!" Seto stood up and scowled. "He needed to learn the truth sometime!"

The younger boy rolled his eyes. "Why don't you be ridiculously overprotective instead of informative? Keep anyone from telling him differently and don't let him find out the truth himself."

"And just why would I—"

"You do it for me."

"…How did you find out?"

Mokuba sighed. "Seto, you're sort of insane. It wasn't that hard to figure out. …Plus, I watched you find every dictionary in the house and black out all of the cuss words. Just for the record: the words shit, damn, and fuck are just about _everywhere_ nowadays."

The brunet let out a frustrated roar. "I CAN'T DO IT FOR BOTH OF YOU AT THE SAME TIME! JOEY NEEDS PROTECTION FROM HIMSELF AS MUCH AS HE NEEDS IT FROM THE WORLD!"

The younger boy turned toward him and raised an eyebrow. "…Since I'm so much less high-maintenance, you could always put Roland in charge of keeping me innocent. He takes his job very seriously. That'll free up some of your time for protecting Joey from the world. …And the world from Joey."

Seto paused. "…That just might work. Send Roland up here. …And hack Joey's computer so he can't find any of the information I gave him himself."

"Sure thing." After passing through the doorway of his brother's office, Mokuba gave Roland a high-five. "You're up."

"Yes, sir." Roland straightened his tie and waited a few moments before he went in, sighing quietly. Yes, he was fond of the Kaiba brothers; that didn't stop him from believing, however, that they were both equally dysfunctional and insane.


	126. Princess: T

Author's Note: This idea has been on my mind for a while, but it didn't turn out like I planned it, so I may come back and fix it later or just do a different drabble entirely. Until then, enjoy!

Princess

"Hey, princess! How's your dragon doin'?"

"He's fine." Joey frowned and looked up from the game of checkers he'd been giving his full attention to, turning to give Bakura a confused stare. "…Wait, what?"

The albino smirked. "Well, I figured that since you call him your dragon, ya gotta be his princess, right?"

"…I should punch you," the blond replied, scowling. "I really should. You're lucky I don't absolutely despise ya."

"…Shakin' in my expensive leather boots, princess," Bakura drawled, still grinning in a decidedly mean way.

"Ya mean your stolen leather boots, doncha?" Joey grinned when Ryou's head whipped up to face the thief, his fingers gripping the book he'd been reading tightly—angrily.

"…What. Did I say. About _stealing things?_" Ryou ground out, scowling.

"Erm… Well, don't you think Joey would be high-maintenance like a princess, Ryou?"

"What he is isn't any of your _business_ and don't think that's going to get you out of the mess you're in, Bakura!"

The thief turned to give the blond a glare, but was momentarily appeased when a red checker piece went jump-jump-jump-king-me-_booyah!_ "…Did the pharaoh just _lose?_"

"…I let him win," Yami stated, crossing his arms and turning away from the game petulantly.

Yugi frowned. "No, Joey's just really, really good at checkers. Which is really weird, considering he sucks at strategies."

Joey frowned as well. "…But I do like red and black."

"Ah. That must be it. …In a really, really weird way."

"Yup, I'm that awesome and so is Red-Eyes."

"…Right…"

The bell to the shop jingled as Seto stepped inside, holding the door open for his little brother so he could scamper in and immediately glom onto his 'brother-in-law-to-be-someday-you-know-Seto's-going-to-propose-eventually-what-makes-you-think-I've-had-sugar-today?' "Hey, puppy."

"OhmiGod Joey you'll _never_ guess what happened at my soccer practice!" Mokuba squealed, hugging the blond tightly.

Joey frowned. "One o' the soccer moms brought candy?"

"…Well that, too," the younger boy agreed, blushing a little.

"So I guess you're gonna be kidnappin' your princess now?" Bakura drawled, making the CEO turn toward him in confusion. "You're a dragon, right? It's what you do?"

Seto stared at him for a moment as he tried to comprehend what he was talking about. None of the dragons _he_ knew of kidnapped princesses or whatever—oh, wait, he could vaguely remember fairy tales his mother had told him before bed, where the dragons would carry off fair maidens and keep them. …Was he implying that the puppy was a princess? Joey wasn't that flighty!

…Was he?

The sharpened angry glint in the brunet's eyes was the only warning Bakura had before a fist collided with his cheek, sending him crashing to the ground in a cursing, angry mess. He didn't get a chance to retaliate, though, because Seto was already storming out, muttering his own angry curses as he stomped out and slammed the door shut. A squeal of tires finalized his departure.

Mokuba stared at the door, stunned, then turned a glare so venomous on the fallen thief that it made Joey, Yugi, and Ryou shiver; they sometimes forgot that he and Seto were related, they were such polar opposites. "Why the hell would you ever say that?" he asked angrily.

The thief was baffled. "What-?"

"Do you _know_ how many girlfriends Seto has had? He treated them all like _royalty,_ like _real_ princesses, and you know what they did? They _dumped_ him because he always chose work or me over spending time with _them_ and ran off with other equally rich and handsome people because they were _all_ that _shallow!_ How could you forget the _one_ thing about princesses and dragons that would piss anyone off?" Mokuba snarled, and Joey hurriedly clambered over the counter and clutched his best friend like a teddy bear in terror.

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "Inform me of this one thing I must have forgotten then, pipsqueak."

"THE PRINCESS. ALWAYS. LEAVES. THE DRAGON," the younger boy ground out, looking ready to punch the albino himself. However, he knew Bakura would catch his wrist and shoo him away before he could hurt him, so he settled for the next best thing.

The thief let out a high-pitched keen as the boy's foot slammed between his legs—and with the soccer league he'd recently joined, his kicks packed a wallop. "_**Aaa-!**_"

Ryou watched him tumble to the ground again, only managing the sympathetic flinch that every male had to give whenever some other man was kicked in the balls, then went back to his book. "Hmm. I suppose you've been taught a lesson."

His only answer was a pathetic squeak.

Joey frowned as he watched the younger boy stomp out, already flipping his phone open to call for a car to take him home. Petting Yugi on the head (who had really had no qualms about being hugged because _holy shit Mokuba was scary when he was pissed_), he grabbed his bag and began for the door as well. "…I think I'd better… go see Seto…"

"Okay! Have a good weekend, Joey!" Yugi called after him, then turned and looked up at his own darker half. "…I'm surprised _you_ didn't say anything."

Yami snorted quietly. "Please, I'm not as stupid as the thief. Joey's not a princess and everyone knows it. He's lucky _Joey_ didn't hit him."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Seto?"

Seto grumbled and crossed his arms, then sighed quietly. "…Yes?"

Joey peeked in the door and tilted his head, then smiled when he saw his lover wasn't in a _too_ terrible mood. "Ya wanna talk about what happened at the game shop?"

"You're _not_ a princess. You're not nearly as demanding or whiny. …You're my puppy." He frowned. "…You're… not going to leave with the first stupid knight that you come across, right?"

The blond felt his heart break a little at the unsure tone, and he felt angry that a bunch of shallow floozies had hurt his dragon by being so greedy. He'd given them money, given them pretty gifts, and all the time he could spare around the company and his brother. Why couldn't they be as happy with that as he was?

He was perfectly content to spend time with both Kaiba brothers at once, and he knew they wouldn't object, because they were human, despite trying to deny it. They wanted someone to be close to them, someone they could count on and trust, but were constantly terrified that their trusts would be betrayed; that whoever they let close only wanted them for money, or power, or fame.

Joey had had to constantly reassure them (well, reassure Mokuba, mostly, but Seto was always there pretending he knew better even though he was secretly soaking up all of the reassurance that he gave as well) that he didn't want any of those things. He didn't want or need their money; he had a job at the game shop that, if he necessarily needed, would give him more hours so he could make more money. Even if he hadn't, he could get any job he wanted; he was experienced enough, nice enough, and sincere enough that most places would hire him after just an interview, even after seeing his criminal records.

He didn't want any of their power, either, as he was independent before he had become close to them and he certainly had his own power right where he wanted it: on the streets. Most gangs still cowered at the thought of fighting him, and while he was happy with that (if they were too terrified to fight, he didn't have to worry about them), he didn't desire anymore power, because in his mind, power meant pain. His father had held power over him and had hurt him, and he knew from his own power on the streets that he didn't _like_ hurting people unless they deserved it, and he realized that he _definitely_ hadn't deserved it from his father. Power meant pain, and he was perfectly happy allowing the Kaiba brothers to keep their power, because they seemed so much better at wielding it.

And he _certainly_ didn't want the fame. He'd seen how many times Mokuba had been kidnapped, how many times Seto had been blackmailed, and he sure as hell wasn't interested in _any_ of that. Besides, he was the number three duelist in the world; he had plenty of fame already! …Well, he hadn't _actually_ dueled in a while, but mostly because he was so distracted keeping Seto from flipping out about the tournaments he kept planning in an effort to win back the title King of Games and keeping Mokuba from getting stressed out from Seto flipping out that he was too exhausted to participate in any of them.

"…Would a princess really put up with a dragon as long as I have? I _hardly_ think I'm a princess," Joey drawled finally, stepping into the room. "I haven't got the _attitude_ of a princess, and I sure as hell don't _look_ like a princess—"

"Both of which I highly approve," Seto admitted, smiling a little.

The blond continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "And I sure as hell don't _wanna_ be a princess, wearin' all those frilly dresses. I'll stick t' surprisin' ya with girly nighties and say that's about as feminine as I'll get. I'm not a princess, more like a…" He paused, frowning in thought. "…Well, I dunno, but when I figure it out—"

"I think I know what you are," the brunet stated, getting to his feet. He walked over to pull the younger boy into his arms and lightly kiss his neck. "…I think you're the jealous dragon that wanted me so badly but was too afraid to be rejected that you just watched me steal princess after princess."

Joey blushed, then haltingly mumbled, "…Maybe, a little." He would never admit that he skimmed tabloids to see who he was supposedly dating every few months. Not that the fangirls' advances like changing tides didn't help. When Seto was dating, the proposals for dates and marriage and even the carrying of babies (what the hell, girls? What. The hell?) tapered off; when he was single again, they started anew, with even more whining and pleading and crying.

"…I'm glad you finally yelled that you hated my guts for being so damn sexy all the time." Seto smiled. "What was the story behind that, I wonder?"

"It's not _my_ fault ya look sexy in a school uniform and a business suit and an outrageously ridiculous trench coat!" the blond exclaimed, scowling even as his blush darkened. "Stupid sexy dragon."

"Hmm." The brunet nuzzled his shoulder gently. "I could say the same about you, looking so sexy in your school uniform, or your casual clothes for puttering around the house, or _especially_ the ladies' lingerie."

Joey blushed even more, gasping when the older boy held him tightly. "Seto!"

"…You're not a princess, puppy. I'm… sorry I left you and Mokuba at the game shop today. And for punching your friend," Seto admitted quietly.

"That's okay, Seto. If you hadn't punched him, I would've. Callin' me a _girl._" The blond growled quietly in annoyance. "I shoulda kicked him in the head when I had the chance. Mokie kicked him in the balls, ya know."

The CEO chuckled quietly. "Oh, really? I suppose I can give him an extra scoop of ice-cream tonight."

"Of course ya can. He's yer little brother, just tryin' t' watch out for ya." Joey nuzzled his neck and giggled quietly. "Ya know what we should do?"

"Plan other ways to make Ryou get angry with Bakura?"

"…Actually, I was thinkin' ya should totally do me against the wall." The blond's eyes glinted mischievously. "Princesses would never do somethin' so improper, ya know."

Seto hummed and tilted his head, then shrugged. "Alright. Since two dragons don't really care where they have sex, that sounds perfect."

"Ha, I'm better than _any_ princess you've ever had!"

"I know, puppy." The brunet smiled and caught the younger boy's smiling lips in a gentle kiss. "Thank you for being nothing like any of those princesses."


	127. Scum: K Plus

Author's Note: This drabble is based on the assumption that Seto would have more than one secretary (which some higher-ups in business actually do) and that after so many years working with them, he's comfortable enough to flip out in front of them. And if Seto seems out of character at the end, well… He may be able to escape exploding islands or threaten to jump off buildings without batting an eyelash, but I'm sure he has a disturbingly strong fear of ink. **:|** Especially with how often he snaps his pens in my stories. It may not be as good as the others, too. Tell me what you think if you believe otherwise.

Scum

Joey bit his bottom lip and frowned, anxiously peering into the bedroom where Seto had immediately holed himself up after finally returning home. "…Seto? Can I come in?"

There was silence for a few tense moments before the blond finally saw his head nod slightly.

Coming to sit next to him on the bed, the younger boy reached out and gently rubbed his back. "…You okay? Somethin' happen today at work?"

"…Yeah." Seto turned toward him and wrapped his arms around the blond's waist, hiding his face in his stomach. "I don't think I've felt this scummy in a long time."

"Ya wanna talk about it, huh?" Joey asked quietly, still rubbing his back.

The brunet frowned and clenched one of his hands into an awkward fist. "…I fired someone today."

At that, the ex-thug was confused. "Seto, ya fire people all the time. I think sometimes ya get a weird sadistic high from it."

Seto shrugged awkwardly, his other hand gently grasping the fabric of the blond's shirt. "Up until these past few months, she was one of the hardest working secretaries I had. Then, she started using up her sick days, and… then her vacation days. When those were gone, she started clocking out early or late, or taking long lunches."

The blond frowned. "Well, if she wasn't workin'… I guess ya would've had to…"

"Yes, well, I fired her a few days ago."

"And you're still feelin' bad about it?" Joey tilted his head. He knew Seto, and he knew that sometimes he _did_ feel bad about his decisions, but he didn't usually dwell on them—especially not for _days._

Seto sighed. "I usually wouldn't care. In fact, I didn't, until today, when I heard some of the other secretaries gossiping during their coffee break. …She had cancer. She was missing work for chemotherapy. And I fired her."

"…Isn't—Don't ya have like a 'special circumstances' thing or somethin'?" Joey slid his hand into the brunet's hair. "…Shouldn't she have gotten a doctor's note, and things woulda been okay?"

"She didn't know. Her supervisor withheld that information from her, so she didn't know any of that. I've fired him of course, but… You know, if she sued for wrongful termination, she could win, if she had a good lawyer."

The blond snorted quietly. "You're not really worried about a lawsuit though, are ya, Seto?"

"…I… feel like the scum of the earth. I should have delved deeper, especially since I knew that she's a hard worker, but… I fired her without any of that information." Seto squeezed his eyes shut. "She was thirty, unmarried, but caring for both her child and her sick boyfriend. They were depending on her income, her health insurance through the company… And I ruined it."

Joey hummed thoughtfully, brows furrowing together in concentration. "…Why doncha just offer her job back?"

"…I don't know if she'd want to, after I fired her like that," the brunet replied quietly.

The younger boy sighed quietly. "You could always apologize." When he got no response, he leaned down to press a kiss on his forehead. "However ya decide t' move forward, I know you'll make the right decision, Seto."

Seto groaned quietly; despite the blond's belief that he would make the right decision in the end, he still felt scummy.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Mr. Kaiba?"

Startled, the CEO turned toward his door sharply. When he saw who it was that had said his name, his grip tightened on his pen. "…Ms. Mason." He took a moment to examine her. She was a little thin, and a little pale, but considering she was a couple of months into chemotherapy, she looked as well as could be expected.

The woman paused at the door thoughtfully, then shifted his weight from foot to foot. "…I just… wanted to thank you for the opportunity to have my job back."

Seto blinked at her for a moment, frowning. "…I didn't rehire you. I'm pretty sure someone else did—"

She gave him a deadpanned stare. "Mr. Kaiba. Your signature was at the bottom of the letter of apology and reinstatement."

"…I've been framed."

She sighed and rolled her eyes a little. "Business as usual then, Mr. Kaiba?"

"I demand an apology for being so blatantly accused of having a heart while at my place of business."

"…Thank you, Mr. Kaiba," she stated finally, giving him a stern look that only a mother could give.

Seto tightened his grip on the pen further—

_SNAP_

"OH GOD I HAVE INK IN MY EYE!"

"Mr. Kaiba! Stop rubbing your eyes! It's just going to make it worse!"

"CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

"…Mr. Kaiba, please calm down. It's only one drop of ink and your tears have managed to wash it out by now, I suspect."

"This is worse than that time I was chewing on the end of my pen and inhaled the ink accidentally! Help me!"

"…I'll go call your boyfriend, sir…"

"What? Don't leave me here alone!"

"I'll be just outside, sir."

"Don't leave me! I'm blind!"


	128. Hallowed Birthday: T

Author's Note: Happy birthday, Seto Kaiba. **:3** Why yes, this was churned out in half an hour before school.

Hallowed Birthday

"I don't know why people thought it would be cute to dress up in their Halloween costumes and come try to flirt with me for my birthday. All in all, _worst. Birthday. EVER._"

Mokuba giggled quietly. "I thought it was entertaining."

Seto glared at him sourly. "You _would._ You didn't have slutty angels and nurses galore trying to paw at you and convince you that they'll be the best sex you've ever had—blah, blah, blah, heard it all last year, it was just made worse with role-playing costumes."

"You're funny when you're annoyed, you know that?" The younger boy poked his brother in the side and grinned when he flinched away. "I'm already looking forward to next year."

"HA. HA. HA. YOU'RE A FUCKING RIOT, MOKUBA." The brunet shoved his hands in his pockets and scowled. "I didn't even see Joey today. I know it would be frustrating after all the invitations for sex and then seeing him and not being able to have it, but at least…" He trailed off, then ducked his head in embarrassment.

"…At least he'd be acknowledging the day you were born?" Mokuba finished, frowning. "It's really weird; he's usually so into celebrating people's birthdays, but… Maybe he just didn't want to deal with watching everyone else go gaga over you. You have to admit, it would be aggravating to be Joey and watching women paw your boyfriend. …Especially when Joey solves everything with violence and can only hit a girl under special circumstances."

Seto scowled. "I wish he didn't have that stupid honor code. I was ready to tell Roland to get the broom and beat them off me." When he heard his brother snicker, he smacked him on the back of the head. "Stop laughing at me!"

The younger boy giggled and rubbed the back of his head. "Roland already told me he refuses to have anything to do with you on your birthday; he has someone else watch us."

"Even the head of my security is abandoning me in my hour of need!"

"…Wait, what do you mean it would be frustrating after all the invitations for sex and then not being able to have it?" Mokuba asked in confusion, turning to look up at him. "I thought you and Joey had sex a lot!"

"He said that after his last relationship, he just wanted to take it slow. He'll make out with me, neck with me a little bit, but when I try to go any further he pushes me away." Seto sighed quietly. "I'm okay with that. I don't want to pressure him into anything. It's just… It's been over a year. I'm trying to give him time, but… I think I'm actually starting to hurt his feelings when I get up from making out to go take a shower."

Mokuba looked appalled. "You can't even wait to _finish_ making out before taking a shower?"

"IF I DIDN'T, THERE WOULD BE SEX!" the brunet shouted in frustration. "With his permission? Probably not! I'm doing it for his own safety! But then he looks up at me with his puppy 'how could you do that to me' face and all I wanna do is tear my hair out and WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?"

The younger teen looked gleeful. "Maybe he's just waiting for you to stick around long enough to finally have sex." When his brother's face twisted into a horrified expression, then fell to a pathetic one, he frowned in concern—especially when the brunet buried his face in his hands. "Hey, I was just kidding, Seto. I'm sure he'd tell you beforehand if he was ready. …I didn't mean to upset you…"

"I'm just—going to go home and hide under my bed and hope no one gets past security this year." Seto shuddered at the thought. "Ugh, I had to buy a whole new bed last year."

"EW! That is so gross why are you telling me this stuff _ewewew!_"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto frowned as he saw the light on in his room. This was a bad sign. However, he refused to buy a new bed (not because he was cheap, but because the people at the furniture store always giggled or winked at him as if he'd been doing something _naughty_ to require a new bed, which was aggravating when he wasn't getting any nookie whatsoever). Slinking back to his brother's room, he peeked inside to make sure he was distracted.

Ah, his eyes were glazed over from playing videogames. Perfect.

Once he'd fetched the baseball bat hidden beneath Mokuba's pillow (he didn't want to know. He really didn't.), he made his way back to his own room, took a deep breath, then kicked the door open, wielding the bat as if about to hit a homerun with someone's head.

Any bravado had immediately died when he squeaked out, "_Puppy?_"

Joey blinked at him in surprise, looking first at the baseball bat, then at his face, then back at the bat. "…Were you gonna—" He paused, then slowly shook his head. "Sometimes I wonder about you, Seto. Have ya ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist?"

"Yes. I have to pay for his own therapy now, so I stopped going." The brunet appeared puzzled. "Are you suggesting I find another psychiatrist?"

"Just… put that bat down," the blond sighed, taking the baseball bat from him. "Really, Seto, if I didn't think ya were crazy before—"

"Do you know how many people have tried to seduce me in my own bed? I've had to buy a new bed four times in the last year! Mattress _and_ bed frame! Disgusting. But the Salvation Army has had some very generous donations, I suppose." Seto frowned. "It helps with my taxes, otherwise I'd just burn them all."

"I think it's cute that you're a billionaire but still so cheap," Joey cooed, pinching his cheek lightly, then went over to lean the baseball bat against the wall. "So, how was your birthday?"

The older boy huffed. "I'd prefer going to hell when I die and I'll stick with a private medical team over a hospital any day."

The blond blinked at him for a moment, brows furrowed together, before slowly replying, "Okaaay…"

Deciding that he wasn't yet in the mood to explain, Seto asked, "How was your day, my lovely little puppy?"

"Well, a little slow. I had trouble tryin' t' pick out a gift for ya." Joey frowned and scratched his head. "I hope you'll like it."

"Puppy, you didn't have to get a gift for me—eeeeeeeee!" The brunet squeaked when the younger boy slid his robe off to show tight leather pants with a dog tail hanging from the back (leaving little if anything to the imagination) and a black studded collar. To top it off, the blond grabbed a headband from the bedside table. Puppy ears. Hmm.

Seto felt his self-control crumbling.

"I had a little trouble deciding whether I should get the glitter lube or the cake-flavored lube. I got them both just for a little fun." Walking over to slide his arms around the brunet's neck, Joey whispered, "You've waited for me long enough without complaining one minute. Happy birthday, Seto."

Seto almost cried from relief and joy.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Hmm. I've broken my bed frame but am hard-pressed to give it away. Perhaps someone can repair it." Seto frowned. "This was quite a happy birthday. I wonder why my bed always suffers?"

"Because you're a fuckin' _animal,_" Joey groaned. "Now go get me somethin', 'cause I know I'm gonna be hurtin' in the mornin'!"

"You liked every minute of it and you know it."

"That don't mean I ain't gonna hurt!"


	129. Whiplash: T

Author's Note: The song is by Willow Smith. If you go on Youtube and watch it, you'll think, 'hey, the video's sort of cool; too bad the refrain is so EFFING ANNOYING.' Seriously.

But Mokuba and Joey would be the kind of people who dance along for ridiculous amounts of time. **:|**

Whiplash

_I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth_

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LISTENING TO?" Seto roared. He'd admit that he'd had a headache before the music came on, and h is temple was already throbbing in agony. But Joey and Mokuba had been listening to this song on repeat for _twenty minutes_ and he was ready to break them. Not just the CD player, but them.

_And now they don't what to do We turn our back and wave our hair And just shake 'em all Shake 'em all Shake 'em all Shake 'em all_

He froze when he saw both his lover and brother standing on the couch and shaking their heads violently back and forth. What the hell? WHAT THE HELL! As pretty as he thought their hair was waving back and forth in the light, had they been doing that the whole twenty minutes? They were bound to have brain damage or neck damage or some sort of damage that was bad for their bodies!

_I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth_

FREAKING REFRAIN!

Stomping over to the stereo that was blasting his headache into a full-blown migraine, he growled quietly and punched the power button a little harder than necessary, then turned to give his significant people the dirtiest look he could manage.

He was just in time to watch Joey fall over the back of the couch and Mokuba face-plant on the cushions. "…WHAT THE HELL!"

Mokuba turned his head toward the sound of his voice. "Seto? Is that you?"

"No, Mokuba, I'm the fucking Easter Bunny. Of course it's me!" Seto snapped, glaring at him as he crossed his arms. "What the hell were you two doing?"

"I found the song on Memebase and liked it." Joey's answer was muffled and a little slurred. Probably because of the body damage Seto had figured they'd have. "Mokie burned it and we've just been—"

"Whipping your fucking hair back and forth! I know! What the fuck, mutt! I HAVE A MIGRAINE and God help you if you injured yourself because you deserve it based on your stupidity alone," the brunet hissed. He frowned when he heard the blond whimper, then resolutely forced his face back into a mask of annoyance. "What now, mutt?"

"…I think I really hurt myself fallin' over the back of the couch!"

"YOU DESERVE IT." When he heard his lover whimper again, he sighed; he wasn't entirely happy, but he couldn't let him suffer. Time to foist the blond on someone else. "Mokie, take care of Joey."

"I can't even see straight!" the younger boy wailed in complaint.

Seto glared at him. "Maybe this will teach you not to be so completely _stupid_ next time. I swear to God, if you two did everything people in songs or music videos did, people would think I'm you're fucking pimp!" He paused, then frowned. "On second thought, Joey, continue on like this."

"Not _all_ the songs I like are about _sex!_"

"Just a great majority."

"GET LOST MONEYBAGS." Joey scowled as he heard the older boy chuckle and swung his leg out as he heard him walking by.

Seto let out a grunt as landed on his back. "Fuck-!" Rolling over a little to give the blond a glare, he growled. "You have ten seconds until I get my air back."

"…Shit…" The blond grumbled; he still couldn't see straight, and his head sort of ached. But, he was no quitter, so he got to his hands and knees and began crawling away. "You'll never catch me alive!"

"…Gee, Mokie, he's crawling and I'll be on my feet."

Mokuba managed to sit up and peer over the back of the couch at him. "You'll still never catch him alive."

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Because you'll catch him and make him horny instead, just to mess with him," the younger boy replied.

"…You know me too well, Mokuba."

"Did you know sex helps relieve headaches? I found that out in a chain letter once," Mokuba added.

"…Hmm. I will take that into consideration. Mokuba?"

The younger boy sighed. "Break the CD and set the pieces on fire, I know."

Seto nodded as he got to his feet. "Thank you. Go eat some ice-cream or something."

Mokuba frowned as he watched his brother walk away. He didn't think he could make it to the kitchen without walking into some walls yet.


	130. Socks: T

Author's Note: Tiers told me to, because we both love socks. **:|** And I don't know how I feel about this drabble, so you guys will have to tell me whether it's good or just decent.

Socks

"…I… couldn't really think of what to get you, since Mokuba's already bought you a lot of things and you felt badly for accepting them, so…" Seto frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. "…I won't be mad if you get upset because of what I got you."

Joey smiled at him even as he began to rip the paper off of the package. "It's the thought that counts, right? I'm sure it's not that bad," he added, shoving the paper onto the table as he looked down on the packages contents.

Seto flinched a little at the blank stare the gift was given. "We can always go out and get you something you _actually_ want."

"…They're… socks." The blond blinked for a moment, stunned, then smiled and hugged the package of socks to his chest joyfully. "Ya got me _socks!_"

"…You're happy about that?"

"They're brand new and they don't have holes in 'em and they're _white!_" The younger boy cooed happily and nuzzled the plastic-covered socks. "It's been years since I've had brand new socks! Seto, I'm so fuckin' happy right now!" His expression immediately sobered. "I wanna give ya 'thank you' sex. Right now."

Seto's mouth opened, but nothing came out. Finally, after a few stunned moments, he squeaked, "For _socks_ as an anniversary gift?"

The blond blinked at him again. "Ya got a problem with it?"

"…I don't know much about this whole 'loving relationship' thing, but I'm pretty certain that when I give you socks for a celebration of being together for two years, you're supposed to get mad and demand I get you something else that you deserve more," the older boy stated after a moment.

Joey raised an eyebrow at him. "…I like socks. I like socks of all kinds. I've spent so many years wearin' socks with holes in them that I _love_ new socks. I'm honestly happy. If ya continue t' _buy_ me socks, I will continue t' be _happy_ with those socks. Seriously. I'm ready t' jump yer bones."

"…All because of some cop-out gift I gave you because I couldn't figure out what else you would want that you'd accept!" the brunet exclaimed, confused.

The younger boy smiled and nodded. "Seto, ya really don't need t' try so hard. I'm simple t' buy for. I like an expensive gift _once_ in a while, of course, but I'm usually happy with things that don't cost that much; chocolate, gift certificates t' Burger World, simple things, really. Okay, Seto?"

Seto sighed. He _knew_ that his puppy was easy to please; he was just horrible at figuring out what pleased people that weren't himself in general, because if he got something dragon-related, he could fly to the moon. Always. Nevertheless, he cupped the blond's cheeks and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "Okay."

Joey let his eyes drift shut to enjoy the kiss, smiling, before finally leaning back and looking up at his lover coyly. "I was serious about the 'thank you' sex. It'll give me a chance t' give ya _your_ anniversary gift."

At that, the brunet was immediately interested. "What kind of gift?"

"Oh, just the usual." The younger boy looked up at him from beneath his lashes and, setting his gift on the table, slid his arms around the brunet's neck as he pressed up against him. "I've got this sexy little nightdress I bought the other day waitin' in the bathroom, and if ya just wait on the bed for me, I'll even come out wearin' the matchin' panties."

"…All of this just because I bought you socks?" Seto whispered, frowning.

"If ya buy me some toe-socks, I'll _really_ be happy," the blond added, then giggled and pulled away, reaching out for his hand. "Come on, Seto. It'll take me ten minutes, tops, and then I can _really_ thank ya."

He didn't really understand how something as simple as _socks_ could make his puppy so happy that he'd immediately thank him with sex, but as he was led up the stairs to their bedroom, Seto decided he'd worry about it later, especially when Joey's smile turned mischievous.


	131. Walkers and Talkers: K Plus

Author's Note: This is another suggestion from Academician! Thank him! He comes up with the most wonderful ideas!

Walkers and Talkers

Joey jerked awake but didn't move. It took a moment to figure out why he was awake. He hadn't had a nightmare. He hadn't been touched or jostled. So what could have possibly-?

Well, that human-shaped object at the foot of the bed was probably the reason, its silence having sent nerves he hadn't used since his days on the street into high alert.

With his body on fight-or-flight defenses, he stayed silent, trying to eye up the intruder and look for weak spots, when a hand shot across his mouth from the side, forcefully but gently preventing him from screaming and turning his attention from the prowler to his new attacker.

Luckily, the voice that whispered to him was familiar, and it saved him from giving his lover a black eye (among other injuries). "Don't wake him. He's just sleep walking."

Seto leaned across him to turn on the lamp to show that it was Mokuba standing at the end of the bed. His eyes were closed, his breathing soft; he was calm, not something he could usually be described as. He was definitely asleep—and he was definitely sleep-walking.

The brunet slid out of bed, slipping his feet into the slippers lying in wait for them, then walked over to gently place his hand on his brother's shoulder, quietly explaining, "Normally, he just wanders around the mansion. He only comes in here when he wants something."

"But he's asleep!" Joey squeaked, still trying to fight past his fight-or-flight response.

Seto chuckled quietly and lightly guided his brother toward the door still open from his entrance. "It's alright. I usually just make him some warm milk and he goes right back to bed." He paused in the doorway, amused when the younger boy obediently stopped in front of him. "Do you want some?"

He would have been lying if he said he wasn't a little freaked out, so the blond hurriedly scampered after him. He cleared his throat nervously as they began down the hallway and unconsciously reached out to grab the brunet's hand. "So, er, does he do this a lot?"

"Not often," Seto replied quietly. "He usually only does this when he's stressed or worried about anything." He paused as he felt the blond shiver. "Are you cold? We can wait for you to go get your robe, if you want."

Joey felt stupid trying to explain that it wasn't because of the cold that he had goosebumps but because the sleepwalking was creepy to him, who stayed in the safety of his blankets all night. In fact, one of the first things that Joey noticed after 'unofficially' moving into the Kaiba mansion was the heating. It was perfectly warm everywhere in the house, even during the winter! He could walk around naked with all the lights off in the basement and not get cold! Walking around naked, however, even during the night when the cleaning staff had gone home, was hazardous.

At least when Seto was in.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, Mokuba slipped from his brother's fingers and went to go sit at the breakfast bar, eyes still closed. Joey squeaked and held tighter to the brunet's hand for a moment. However, when Seto cleared his throat and gave him an 'are-you-okay?' look, he blushed and released him to go sit next to Mokuba.

"I'm surprised ya know how t' make warm milk without scaldin' it."

Seto chuckled quietly as he prepared for three glasses worth of warm milk, pulling out various pots and pans and gathering the necessary ingredients. "I used to make this with my mom. It's hard to forget when it was our bedtime ritual up until the accident."

"Oh." The blond smiled at that; his lover could be surprisingly cute.

"You shouldn't be so surprised," the brunet added, bringing the milk to a light simmer and adding a vanilla pod. "Mokuba isn't the only one in this house who does things at night. You talk."

Joey gasped quietly in surprise. "What?"

"You say things in your sleep," Seto reiterated, rolling his eyes.

The blond sputtered in embarrassment. "I do not!" When the older boy only smiled and stirred the milk, he reeled from the revelation that maybe it _wasn't_ a joke. "…Do I?"

"Not every night, of course. And after I figured out how to make you stop, less," the brunet explained, setting the spoon aside to grate some nutmeg.

Joey frowned in confusion. "Huh?"

"When you say something and it sounds like you're scared or panicking, I run my fingers through your hair, and it calms you down. Ow! Damn it, why do I always do that?" Seto stuck his finger in his mouth and glared at the grater.

Joey was touched. He had to admit it was a very cute thing for his lover to do, but he was still staggered by the fact that he talked in his sleep in the first place. However, now that he thought about it, he hadn't had a nightmare in quite some time since moving into the mansion.

"…What if I'm not scared or panicking?"

The brunet grumbled and glared at his finger, then turned his attention back to him. "I let you go on; it doesn't really bother me if you're not scared," he explained, shaking his hand a little to wave off the pain he'd felt for a moment. "I think it's sort of cute."

"Oh." The younger boy nibbled on his bottom lip anxiously as his lover began stirring the milk again. After a moment, he looked up at him bashfully and asked, "What do I say?"

"Lots of things." Seto removed the seeds from the pod and added them to the milk. "A lot of it's hard to make out because you mumble a lot. However, some of what I do hear is complete nonsense. You especially like to talk about donuts." He paused, then smiled a little. "Some of it's sweet, though, and sometimes it's pretty suggestive." He snorted. "And still more of it is in _French._"

Joey paused, then looked up at him in confusion. "Say wha-?"

"It started a few months ago, after your French oral exam. I hadn't actually heard you speak French before, and… it really turned me on. I just… couldn't find a way of telling you."

The blond gasped. "Is _that_ why you offered to take me to Paris?"

"Oui," Seto admitted, pouring three glasses of warm milk. Handing one to his pup, he smirked a little when he handed the second to Mokuba and watched the blond watch both in awe and anxiety as his little brother took it with his eyes closed.

Mokuba got up, sipping his milk, and mumbled something that sounded like, "Hmm hmm brhmm."

"You're welcome, Mokuba." The brunet watched him leave, knowing he'd be making a beeline for his room now, before he placed the pans in the sink. Then, he turned back to his lover. "Well? Do you like it?"

"Hmmm." Joey hummed as he sampled some of the warm, vanilla-flavored milk. "Yeah. I like it. I think ya should restart the whole 'bedtime ritual' thing again."

"I'll think about it," the older boy replied, grabbing his own glass to sip, and leaned against the counter across from him. "I don't suppose it would be a bad thing."

"Right." The blond sighed and continued to drink his milk in a surprisingly slow manner for him, but the smooth drink just seemed to demand to be savored—and the soothing feeling he got from doing so had him believing that going back to sleep would be as simple as lying down. After a moment, however, he looked up at the brunet and frowned. "Do _you_ do anything at night?"

Seto snorted in annoyance. "Of _course_ I do. Are you finished?" Taking the younger boy's empty glass to set it in the sink with his own, he then walked around the island and caught the blond's hand again. "Time to go back to bed, puppy."

Joey scowled at the lack of the answer he actually wanted. "Well what do _you_ do at night, then, smarty-pants?

"You," the brunet replied cheekily, flipping the switch to turn off the kitchen light.


	132. Alien: T

Alien

Joey groaned quietly and slowly opened his eyes; when he was met with the same beeping, flashing lights, he closed them again. So it hadn't been a dream at all.

He couldn't remember how he'd gotten on this ship—only remembered being snatched in an alleyway on his way home, and then blackness. When he'd finally regained consciousness, he was poked, prodded, and examined, and had no choice but to allow it when he saw the inky blackness outside the window and realized that this was all real—he actually _was_ on a spaceship and the person that looked surprisingly human actually _was_ an alien.

So far, they hadn't spoken, and he was okay with that; he was so terrified that he probably wouldn't make sense. He wasn't even sure these extra terrestrials spoke his language—or any language on Earth, for that matter.

And that blue-eyed brunet was getting much too curious with him, touching him in ways he was certain didn't have anything to do with their research. In fact, that particular alien was often giving him suggestive looks as he touched him, as if he wanted to…

Ugh, what if they procreated with tentacles?

Joey shuddered. The thought disturbed him greatly. Not the sex—he assumed that even more horrible things would be done to him, and so he hadn't counted out rape yet—but the tentacle part. Japan had a bunch of weird porn, and he'd investigated it of course (what teenage male wouldn't?), but the tentacle thing was _much_ too weird for him. Especially when he noticed most of the victims didn't want it and that these victims were school girls. It was creepy to the max.

He gasped quietly as he felt a soft touch on his bare side and sat up, hurriedly shoving away the hand that touched him, only to bleat in fear as the brunet gripped his wrist and pulled him around to face him. "Aha-!" He shivered as the alien's cool fingers brushed against his cheek and closed his eyes tightly. "Nn…!"

The brunet stared at him for a moment before his lips twisted into a decidedly scary smirk, and he leaned forward to nuzzle the human's ear, his deep voice whispering out, _"Something new today."_

Joey shivered and bit his bottom lip; that had been the first time an alien had spoken directly to him, and he had to admit that he sort of liked the husky tone. But then what he'd said registered, and he found himself terrified at the things that came to mind. Oh, God, what if they dissected him—while he was still alive? OH GOD!

Before he could completely freak out, he felt the alien brush his cheek. Peering up at him anxiously, he managed to timidly ask, "W-what are ya gonna do t' me?"

"_I figured that since humans have come to expect it…"_ The brunet grinned, and it looked just as scary as his smirk when he realized that the aliens had _fangs_. _"And that I've chosen you to be mine, a little… anal probing shouldn't hurt you too much. After all, isn't that what humans always claim happens to them after they've been abducted by __**aliens?**__"_

"OH MY GOD!" Joey squirmed frantically, but then there was an iron grip around his waist, and he was hoisted over the alien's shoulder. "Oh, God-! Oh _God!_" He let out some frightened bleats as he was carried out of his room (actually the examination room, but since it was the only room he knew, he called it his) and down a hall, through another smooth-rolling door that opened soundlessly but closed with a hiss of finality.

Yelping as he was slung onto something soft, he began squirming anew as the brunet pressed him down against it. "No! No, I don't wanna—you're gonna get me pregnant or inject or somethin'-! DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T WATCHED MOVIES!"

At that, the alien raised an eyebrow. _"…Your Earthling movies lack realistic plots and you humans know nothing about __**real**__ aliens."_

"We didn't think aliens were real-! …Wait, didja say that you'd chosen me _specifically?_" Joey gasped, looking appalled.

"…_Yes. I did choose you specifically. I want you to be mine. It's custom that if your intended bride isn't of the same race, you have to bring them to your home planet to meet your family. If I'd just asked you, you wouldn't have come."_

"Intended bride? What the fuck-!"

"_We had to take tests to make sure you weren't carrying any diseases. Not that we couldn't cure you, but we didn't want to expose any unimmunized children to anything."_ The brunet smirked at him. _"You're in surprisingly good health for an Earthling. Now, I realize that it's not quite Earthling tradition to have premarital sex, but…"_

"Premarital-! NO! I REFUSE!" Glaring at the alien angrily, Joey hissed in a manner remiscent of an angry cat. "I don't even know your name! And this whole _marriage_ thing is utter bullshit! I'm not marryin' ya! _No!_" he roared, smacking the brunet's hands away from his boxers—the only thing that had been covering him since he'd been poked and prodded that first day. "Keep your fuckin' tentacles away from me!"

The brunet let out a squawk of outrage. _"Tentacles? Do I __**look**__ like a Sharuvian Morgravoc!"_

"I dunno! Do ya?" the blond retorted, glaring at him. "And you can get this whole 'marriage' thing outta yer head! I'm _not_ interested!"

The alien snarled and glowered at him angrily._"You will be mine, no matter how long I have to woo you. You don't have a choice anymore."_

Joey snorted and turned away from him, crossing his arms with an arrogant huff. "Don't hold your breath, ya snooty bastard!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto stroked the blond's hair out of his face and smiled a little, taking a moment to admire the way he looked, so innocent, and yet so risqué. His body was littered—finally!—with little love bites, and he could still see some sticky fluid between his thighs. He lifted the human's hand and kissed his ring finger gently, then turned his gaze to the wedding ring sitting on the bedside table.

It had taken a lot of convincing—four long, _long_ years of convincing—for Joey to realize that he didn't want him just because. He'd had to prove he liked him and—as time passed—that he loved him. It didn't help that his little brother's first reaction upon seeing the blond was 'what is _that?_'

Ugh. Joey hadn't come out of his room for hours after that, despite both Mokuba and himself apologizing and begging him to please unlock the door.

Yes, he'd had to move to Earth to be able to court him, and yes, his brother had complained and he himself hadn't been happy at the prospect (Earth's technology was decades behind their own), but the primitive machines were quickly made up for with their discovery of sugar, which their home planet did not have. And, after the subsequent discovery that Joey was an _excellent_ baker, it was only a hop, skip, and a jump before they both adored him.

Joey had hated both of them at first, and had made no effort to hide it. However, a well placed sob here and there on Mokuba's part quickly had the little blond becoming smitten with him. Mokuba had planned carefully what he'd mention about his brother to make the Earthling hate him less, and eventually, Joey managed to stop himself from immediately saying 'no' to a date. And, once Seto had realized that he was earning the blond's affection, he'd lapped it up, doing more and more to please him and getting more and more timid hugs and shy kisses in return; it had been frustrating for him, considering that his race had quite the sex drive, but he found the way the blond blushed and stuttered a little was enough to appease him until he could get more.

But, now he had his mate, his adorable little wife, and had finally been able to claim his virginity with as much love and care as he could give, and was rewarded with writhing and mewling and pleading for more. Not only had this stroked his ego, but he'd found his new hubby actually quite a frisky mate; it was surprising, but welcomed eagerly.

Leaning down, Seto brushed a kiss over the blond's forehead, smiling, only to blink in surprise as he heard his name come from the barely parted lips. He sat up a little in confusion. "Is something wrong, Joey?"

Joey sighed and slowly blinked his eyes open, then turned his heavy-lidded gaze on him. "…Set'… Go t' sleep…" He leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his chest before lying flat again. "We can do it again t'morrow, okay?"

Seto smiled and lay down as well, pulling the blond's body up against his own. "Okay. I'm sorry I disturbed you, love."

The human's lips twitched into a smile as he pressed up against him. "Love you, Seto…"

"I love you too," the brunet whispered. He kissed him softly before settling down to finally sleep. "…Goodnight, Joey…"

"G'night," Joey replied, sighing in content.


	133. Daisy: K

Author's Note: Not a Christmas fic. Just a cute one. The fic starts where Seto and Joey are kids, and ends back where they're adults and dating. **:)** Happy little fluff fic, begin!

Daisy

He was still reeling.

His parents were gone. Mokuba was in ICU. He himself had just come _out_ of ICU. He was confused. What was going to happen now? None of his family had come to visit. No one had come to see him. The only way he'd known about his parents' deaths was by sneaking a peek at a newspaper.

He was lonely.

Seto slid into the wheelchair nearby and rolled over to the window, where the nurse had left his book after she'd finished reading to him. It was the only thing that had been given to him to keep busy. He was bored, but… he was mostly lonely.

Setting the book in his lap, he rolled himself over to the door and peered outside.

No one was looking at him. He felt invisible.

Seto ducked his head and rolled out of his room. He made his way to the ICU, but one of the nurses had politely told him that he couldn't see his brother quite yet; he wasn't awake. After a promise that he could see him when he woke up, he began wandering about the hospital slowly.

He felt even lonelier when no one spoke to him. Perhaps… perhaps he didn't matter. Perhaps he really _was_ invisible.

Seto yelped as something slammed into his wheelchair, knocking his book off his lap and nearly toppling him over. "_Ow!_"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

The brunet looked up and was confused to find a blond boy scrambling to sit him upright and grab his book off the ground to set back in his lap. "Wha-?"

"I'm sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going. Mom said I should stop running around. Are you okay?" the other boy asked, looking at him in concern. "I didn't hurt ya, did I?"

"…I'm okay," Seto replied after a moment, turning his head away. "It's not like you could have made my day any worse."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad I didn't hurt ya. You're already hurt, huh? Here! I bought these for my sister, but she won't care if I give one to you!" the blond stated, shoving a single daisy in his face. "She says it's a happy flower, and it can make anyone better!"

The brunet scowled. "That's stupid. A flower can't make anyone better!"

"Well not if ya don't smile!" the younger boy retorted, as if it were obvious. "Daisies are happy flowers. They can't help ya if you're not willing to be happy." He brandished the flower at him again slowly. "Here. Take it. It'll make ya feel better."

Seto hesitated before reaching out to gently take the white flower, unable to deny that the daisy _did_ look, somehow, like a happy flower. "…If I don't feel better, I'm blaming _you._"

The blond smiled sweetly. "I think it's already working."

"Huh?"

"_Joseph! Joseph Wheeler, where __**are**__ you?_"

The blond flinched. "I gotta go now. Nice to meet ya!" he added quickly, before he turned and scampered away. "Coming, Ma!"

Seto watched him go, unconsciously clutching the flower to his chest.

Someone had noticed him. When no one else had seen him, a stranger had taken notice of him, had talked to him and smiled. That stranger had even given him a gift.

It wasn't a very big gift. It would probably die and wither in a few days. But it was a gift.

Seto smiled a little. He already felt a little better. Perhaps daisies _did_ have some sort of magical healing properties.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto leaned in the doorway and frowned, the bouquet in his hand hanging loosely at his side. His silly, silly puppy.

Pushing a complete stranger out of the way, putting himself between the car and the mother and her baby carriage that hadn't been able to get away quickly enough. Seto hissed. His puppy was much too selfless sometimes.

He stepped into the hospital room and walked over to gently clasp the blond's limp hand in his own. He wanted his puppy awake. Unfortunately, no one knew when that would be.

After a moment, Seto set the bouquet on the bedside table to free his hand to gently brush his lover's hair, smiling a little when he heard the heart monitor speed up a little. His puppy recognized him, even unconscious. Reaching over to the bouquet, he plucked one of the flowers free and brushed the petals over the blond's cheeks, trailing gently over his nose.

Joey's nose wrinkled a little.

Seto kissed his cheek gently and smiled. "Wake up, puppy… I'll be sad if you don't wake up…"

His puppy didn't like to make people sad.

Unfortunately, Joey stayed unconscious.

That was okay. Seto was willing to wait. Tucking the single daisy behind the blond's ear, he smiled when the white flower stood out against his tan cheek. It made him look like he had more color in his cheeks—like he was healthier.

The daisies were already making his puppy better. Seto brushed another kiss over his forehead before going to ask a nurse for a pitcher of water for the rest of the daisies.


	134. Slip Ups: T

Author's Note: Thank you, bruckleflesche, for correcting me and giving me the most wonderful idea. **:)**

Slip Ups

Seto sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawning widely, then reached over and punched the snooze button on the alarm clock. He'd have exactly fifteen minutes before it rang again, and by that time, he'd be clean and ready to shake his lover awake to get ready for school.

He slid his feet into his slippers and yawned again, standing up. Then, he began toward the bathroom.

And promptly fell on his face. "Blargh!"

Seto blinked for a moment, too stunned to do much of anything other than try and figure out what happened. He was lying on his stomach on the floor, cheek pressed against the cold wooden floor. That wasn't right. He should have been striding to the bathroom right now.

What was this madness?

Sitting up in confusion, Seto turned to look at his slippers. Funny, they were in the same position he'd left them in when he'd gone to sleep. He turned to face them and frowned, lifting them off the floor.

They weren't glued to the floor. It wasn't like he'd tripped over anything. Could he perhaps have fallen because he'd just woken up and didn't have proper depth perception and balance yet?

…He was wasting precious minutes thinking when he should have been showering!

Shoving the slippers back onto his feet, Seto hurriedly got back up and turned toward the bathroom again.

His feet jerked to a stop, and he suddenly found himself reacquainted with the floor. "What the _fuck!_"

His slippers had fallen off his feet again.

Snarling, Seto stood and walked back to the bed. He shook his lover's shoulder roughly. "Joey! What did you do to my slippers!"

"Ngh, fuck, it's too early—Your slippers aren't _worth_ losin' sleep! Now your coffee. Your coffee is worth prankin'." Joey covered his head with a pillow. "But I don't, because I love ya too much. Go away."

The brunet scowled, then turned to look back at the slippers that had _obviously_ been tampered with and were out to get him.

THE SLIPPERS WERE GONE.

Seto squeaked and leapt back onto the bed, hurriedly cuddling up against the blond. "Joey, let's call in sick today."

"Nngh, _why?_" Joey groaned, refusing to uncover his head.

"…Because I'm afraid I'll lose my feet if I get off the bed again."

"…What…?"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Mokuba stroked the tops of the slippers resting on his arm and grinned. He hadn't really believed that anything sent to the Shadow Realm could come to life, but Bakura had proven him wrong. He knew that eventually he'd have to have Bakura send the slippers back to the Shadow Realm, but he decided he'd wait until the slippers actually drew his brother's blood before he did that.

After all, watching his brother leap onto the bed in terror had been hilarious.


	135. Price of Friendship: K Plus

Author's Note: The price of friendship… roughly one hundred dollars. **:|**

Just kidding! **:**D I just got to thinking that it would be cute to see who Mokuba's friends really are.

* * *

Price of Friendship

"Seto? Can I have forty dollars?"

Seto frowned and looked up from his computer. "Mokuba, you got your allowance a few days ago. How could you have gone through it already?"

Mokuba looked down at his feet and scuffed his toes over the carpet. "We went to the science museum and I spent all of it."

"Hmm. Well, I'm sorry, but you know the rules; unless it's an emergency, your allowance is what you get for the week." The older boy turned back to his laptop. "Your allowance is a hundred dollars, Mokuba."

"I know, but…" Mokuba frowned, then squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. "I have to replace my friend's backpack."

Seto raised an eyebrow. He didn't mention that Mokuba had gone from saying 'one of my friends' to 'friend.' It was probably nothing. "And why would you need to replace his backpack?"

"She. Hers." The younger boy sighed miserably and went to take a seat in front of his brother's desk. "You know how I get carsick sometimes? Especially on buses?"

"…You threw up on a girl's backpack?"

"No! …Sort of." Mokuba sighed again, hiding his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up at him. "My friends and I were just joking around in the back of the bus when I started feeling sick. We were only a half an hour away from school, so I thought if I just kept quiet, I'd make it. But I guess it showed on my face, because everyone backed away from me and gave me a lot of space.

"They weren't doing it to be nice, though. They were disgusted, and it hurt, and I felt even more sick. Then the girl next to me opened the window, and she started pulling her things out of her bag." He began picking at the end of his sleeve. "She offered me the window seat so I could get some air, and when I told her I wasn't going to make it… she told me to throw up in her bag. I tried to make it to school, but… I couldn't."

Seto raised an eyebrow at him. "…You threw up in a girl's backpack."

"She offered it to me and I wasn't going to make it-!" Mokuba exclaimed in embarrassment. "She said she'd just wash it out when she got home, but her parents made her throw it away. It was an expensive bag—a birthday present to herself, she said—and I just… want to replace it for her." He ducked his head. "She was the only one that was still nice to me even when I was sick, even though she's usually so quiet… I just wanted to… thank her…"

"She probably doesn't expect you to thank her; if she's really your friend, she won't mind." Nevertheless, Seto pulled out his wallet and extracted a hundred dollar bill. "Here. Ask to get the change in fives and tens and tuck them around her bag. If she tries to give the money or the bag back, tell her—" He paused, as if unsure, then quietly added, "Tell her that you've never known someone that would do that for you before, and you just want to thank her for being a good friend."

Mokuba couldn't help a small smile. "Yugi and his friends are really starting to rub off on you, aren't they?"

Seto glared at him. "No, they're not." When his little brother only smirked at him, he snarled, "Shut up and get out!"

The younger boy laughed and scurried out of the room before he could get grounded for saying anything else 'preposterous' or 'outrageous.'


	136. Fags: T for Language

Author's Note: Yeah. Someone asked me for a cigarette the other day. It took me a while to stop laughing.

* * *

Fags

"Ya wouldn't happen t' know where I could find some fags?"

Téa spit out her soda, accidentally spraying Ryou in the face with it. That was okay, though, because he'd spewed his iced tea all over her as well. Tristan's sandwich fell out of his hands. Yugi crushed the chips he'd been about to eat. Seto's typing tapered off as he realized the question. Joey actually looked up from his cheeseburger.

The new girl frowned. "What?"

"…" Joey swallowed when he realized she'd been asking him specifically. "Couldja repeat that?"

She sighed loudly in annoyance. "Fags. I want some."

"…And you're asking me because…?"

"Ya look like someone who would know where t' buy fags."

"_Buy_ fags?" Joey blinked up at her slowly, but eventually, it dawned on him. "There's a vendin' machine outside the drugstore ten minutes away from here. That's where I usually get 'em."

Seto turned to look at his boyfriend in affront. "What?"

"I haven't bought any in a long time! When I quit the gang!" the blond replied hastily. He turned his attention back to the new girl. "You want a bunch? Or just one?"

"Just one. I haven't had a fag in about a week. I'm tryin' t' cut back," she explained, eyeing the rest of the table in confusion. "How much are they?"

"If it's just one, about five bucks," Joey answered, smiling. "Sorry about them. They just don't seem t' get it."

She nodded slowly. "I know. Everyone else I've asked has been the same way. It's nice t' see ya take your health seriously, but not everyone can go without a fag." She turned to leave. "Thanks!"

"No problem!" the blond called after her, then returned to his cheeseburger.

Seto glared at him. "You _slept_ with _prostitutes?_ And not just prostitutes, but _cheap ones?_ You told me you were a virgin!"

"Joey! Man, I thought you had more respect than that! I never saw you pick up anyone on the street, even when your gayness was just a rumor!" Tristan exclaimed, frowning.

Joey scowled and let out a huff through his nose to keep from spitting out his cheeseburger. He finished chewing and swallowed, then turned to glare at both of them. "She's from _Australia._ She was askin' me where she could buy some _cigarettes._"

The table was dead silent for quite a while until Ryou giggled in amusement. "I'd actually forgotten that! I'd gotten so used to people here using 'fag' as an insult that I'd actually _forgotten_ that!" He glanced at Téa, then began laughing harder. "Sorry, Téa!"

Téa began to laugh as well even as she pulled out some napkins. "It's okay! It looks like we're in the same boat anyway!"

"Thanks for the faith, guys," Joey mumbled, giving Seto and Tristan one last glare before he turned back to his food.

Yugi raised an eyebrow and turned to the CEO, frowning. "I understand why Tristan wouldn't know that, but haven't you traveled to Europe before and heard that?"

"…People have been calling me a fag behind my back ever since we came out as a couple," Seto muttered, scowling. "I thought she was just being a bitch."

"Oh." After a moment, Yugi began to chuckle to himself. "You know the worst part?"

Joey glanced at him and frowned. "Huh?"

"…She's been going all over school asking for a fag."

Téa spit out her soda again; Ryou's tea came out his nose. Now that he understood it, Tristan decided it was actually kind of funny, too. Joey rolled his eyes (he had once been a smoker, and the only reason he'd recognized 'fag' as 'cigarette' was because someone had pointed it out as a crude joke, and it had just stuck with him). Seto even managed a small smirk of amusement.

Yugi calmed his laughing first. "Seriously, though, someone should tell her that."

Téa offered Ryou some of her napkins even as he continued to howl with laughter, still a bit giggly herself. "Don't worry. We have PE together next, so I'll tell her then."

"Twenty bucks says she'll be embarrassed," Tristan snickered.

Joey smirked. "Twenty bucks says she won't be embarrassed and she'll think that everyone else is stupid for gettin' so worked up about it."

"You're on!"

It was the best twenty bucks Joey had ever earned.


	137. Unintended Consequence: M

Author's Note: Something has been pestering me. And it's not even a fanfic person. So here's your hint at uke!Seto and why I think it wouldn't work. Also...

WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE.

* * *

Unintended Consequence

"Seto! Seto, please! I—if ya really didn't want me to, _why_**—**"

Seto slid down the door and hid his face in his hands. He couldn't just come out and say, 'I liked it when we started, but near the end, I started having flashbacks to when my step-father raped me.' He was sure his puppy would just break down in tears and exclaim that he hadn't wanted to push him, that he had _never_ wanted to make him suffer through that, when really, he'd thought he'd been okay enough for sex. It was his fault, not his puppy's.

He winced as he heard a soft thump against the door. "Seto, please! I-I didn't mean t' make ya mad! Was I… was I really that bad? …'m sorry…"

For his first time, the blond had actually been very good. Seto just didn't want to say 'it wasn't you, it's me.' His lover had had his heart broken with that line too many times for him to use it to explain anything.

"…I… I didn't hurt ya, did I?" He heard the smaller teen paw at the door like a puppy—the puppy he always compared him to, that was now worried he'd done something wrong but didn't understand what. "…I'm sorry, Seto. I-I didn't mean t' make ya mad. I just… I just wanted t' make ya feel good like ya do for me. …I… I guess I did a bad job. 'm sorry I didn't make ya feel good, Seto." The blond sobbed. "I only wanted t' make ya happy. I'm sorry I made ya mad. I'll… I'll go now."

At that, Seto immediately stood; he didn't want his puppy thinking he was mad, thinking that he didn't like what he'd been doing and was hiding from _him _when he'd really been trying to deal with his problems himself.

Unfortunately, his body was still achy from his first time being the uke in years. By the time he'd stumbled out into the bedroom, he was seeing the door to the hallway close. God, was this how his puppy felt the first time? And then he'd had to go see his friends while still feeling that pain-!

"Puppy!"

Joey was hurrying down the stairs, away from him, even though he'd seen his shoulders stiffen when he'd called for him. He'd hurt his puppy, made him feel like a bad lover—and he'd never, _ever _wanted that.

He was lucky that the blond always had trouble with the front door's admittedly old and tricky latch, and he was glad he'd put off fixing it, since he and Mokuba could open it just fine (even if the maids and security team bitched about it). He had the chance, and he took it, slamming the door shut when he finally got it open and pinning his lover to the door. "Joey!"

"Nn!" Joey turned his head away as the brunet gripped his shoulders firmly, letting out a defeated sob. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean t' make ya mad—I tried t' be good, but I just—I just can't make the people I love happy!"

Nothing he could do made his father happy; he'd spent years trying to please him, and nothing had come of it. Nothing he did could make his mother happy, either—even though he'd gotten the money for Serenity's surgery, she still refused to really accept him, and her contempt for him only grew when he'd come out as gay. Serenity loved him, true, but even with the seemingly endless resources he now had through Seto weren't enough to visit her as often as either of them would have liked, because he always felt badly for borrowing Seto's money.

And now he'd failed Seto.

"You've made me so happy, puppy. I didn't run away because I was mad, or because you weren't any good," Seto answered quickly, pulling the blond into his arms. "I was just… having flashbacks. They weren't good. I didn't want to worry you."

"…I was so bad I made ya flashback t' somethin' that hurt ya?" The younger boy's voice cracked as he looked up at him.

"God, _no! _I just have some issues I thought I'd worked past, and I didn't realize I hadn't quite achieved that until we were finished. I'm sorry. I thought I was ready, but… I wasn't."

Joey sniffed softly. "…I don't mind bein' on the bottom all the time until ya work past it. Just… just don't make me worry like that again. I thought… I thought ya wouldn't want me anymore."

Seto held him tighter as the blond sniffled and whimpered into his shoulder. He'd never wanted his lover to think that.


	138. The Last Straw: T for Language

The Last Straw

"So let me get this straight. You _told_ them that someone had pestered you into writing it?"

"Yes."

"And you _told_ them that you didn't think that I would work as an uke anyway?

"Yes."

"And you _still_ got reviews that didn't please you?"

"Yes."

Seto scowled. "…What's your point?"

"Shut up! She's obviously upset, ya asshole!" Joey punched his shoulder and glared at him for a moment before reaching out to gently hold the girl's hands, smiling sweetly. "Don't be upset, Reizbar. I'm sure they didn't mean t' hurt your feelin's."

She scowled and turned her head away with a huff. "Hmph."

"Listen, if you don't like the feedback you're getting for that story, just take it down and forget about it," Seto snapped. "Though I don't understand why you're getting so pissed about it anyway!"

"I am _pissed,_" she hissed, glaring at him. "Because in some of the reviews I've gotten, they've talked about how _they_ don't like you as uke. While I clearly stated in an earlier drabble that I don't really like you as an uke, either, I'd hoped they'd have the fucking maturity to just take this one in stride, NOT tell me how much they didn't like it and how they would really like it if I _never_ post with you as uke again."

Joey frowned. "…They're… dictatin' what ya should write t' keep them as readers?" He glanced at the other boy and frowned. "…That doesn't really seem fair…"

"I _don't_ like Seto as the uke! The only reason I even made this story was because one of my friends—who, by the way, is no longer my friend—was pestering me! And, despite disliking Seto as the bottom, I was proud of my drabble. AND THEN A BUNCH OF REVIEWERS MADE ME FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT IT!" she continued, then let out a frustrated roar. "I TOLD THEM IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTE THAT THE STORY DEALT WITH SETO AS AN UKE! IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT THEN THEY SHOULDN'T FUCKING READ IT!"

Joey squeaked and scrambled behind the brunet. "Nyee!"

"I DON'T CARE IF IT'S NOT FUCKING REALISTIC TO SOMEONE, BECAUSE IT'S BOUND TO BE FUCKING REALISTIC TO SOMEONE ELSE! ON TOP OF THAT, MY REVIEWERS ARE DISCOURAGING ME! THEY'RE MAKING ME NOT WANT TO WRITE ANYMORE! I HAVE _NEVER_ NOT WANTED TO WRITE! DO YOU KNOW HOW PISSED THAT MAKES ME!"

Seto watched her roar and begin to stomp around like a dinosaur. "…I have an estimate as to how angry that makes you. I think that estimate is quite accurate." He frowned as she grabbed a vase and threw it against the wall. "Please don't assault my belongings. Insurance doesn't cover that."

"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

He watched another vase shatter uncomfortably close to his head. He decided he didn't mind buying new vases. …But if she broke that antique lamp, he was grabbing her himself and chucking her out the front door.

Joey peeked over his shoulder and squeaked again as she returned to stomping around and roaring like an angry beast. "I haven't seen a girl this mad since I panty-tanked Téa!"

"The sad thing is… she sort of has a point…" Seto sighed. "What about the good reviews? Don't you appreciate those?" He squawked and dove for the ground as another vase came flying toward him.

"THERE ARE NOT NEARLY ENOUGH GOOD REVIEWS TO HEAL THE DAMAGE DONE BY THE BAD!" she roared, glaring at him, then let out a wail and covered her face. "Why does it have to hurt so badly?"

"Hey… hey…" Joey crept out from the chair he'd hidden behind when the second vase had been thrown, approaching her slowly. "It's okay, Reiz…"

"Do they not realize that I'm a person too! That I have feelings and that they get _hurt_?"

Seto frowned. "You didn't take your medication today, did you?"

She roared at him again. That was all the answer he needed.

"GAAAAAAHHHHHH I should just stop posting." Reiz scowled and crossed her arms. "If this is the thanks I get for posting my stories, I'm not dealing with it. I'll just stop posting."

Joey squeaked. "No more sex scenes?"

"Really? That's what you're sad about?" Seto scowled.

The blond frowned and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "…Though I could do without all the panties and nightgowns…"

"I like those." Seto huffed.

"…And all the cryin' is sort of annoyin'… And the almost-rapes and molestation… But do I wanna give up the sex? That's some good sex."

Reiz frowned and nodded as well. "Yeah, I suppose I did write some good sex scenes…"

Seto seized on the comment like a hungry wolf on a bloody steak. "Yes. You should write more of them. With more panties and nightgowns."

"Gah! I just said I didn't like them!" Joey exclaimed, turning to glare at him.

The brunet ignored him. "And spanking, please."

Reiz nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose I could do that."

Joey let out a roar of his own. "I HATE YOU BOTH!"


	139. Questionably Adorable: K Plus

Dear Faithful and Loving Readers,

It was only when I got halfway through the reviews that I realized that something was terribly wrong, and I sincerely apologize for the misunderstanding I caused. I'm not leaving. I thought that by posting that story in and of itself, it would show that I'd only thought about it and had decided against it. I'm terribly sorry for that assumption, because I realize that not everyone's brain works the same way, and it appears that all I've done by posting that is hurt you. That was never my intention.

I also realize that it appears I'm being incredibly selfish and doing it simply for reviews, and that was not my intention either. I'm having some difficulties in real life, and I'd only thought about deleting my account because with the emotional rollercoaster I'm on, I didn't need any added negativity from reviews of my stories. I realize that everyone has the right to their opinions, and I'm incredibly sorry that I made some of you feel like you couldn't share yours because you were too afraid I'd leave. I was just trying to protect myself because things in real life are getting hectic and scary. I'm sorry I took my fear and frustration out on you.

I just want you all to know that while some bad reviews might have the tiniest bit of sway over what I do, I would only delete my stories and account for a very serious reason. I remember what I was doing while I typed every single story, and if those memories were too painful, only then would I delete them. I'm sorry I took my frustration out on you lovely people, because I had no right to drag my problems onto this site, and I thank each and every one of you for your kind words.

Again, I sincerely apologize for the misunderstanding. I know this fic will never be a good enough to get you to accept my apology, but consider it a peace offering.

* * *

Questionably Adorable

Seto growled and stomped after the blond angrily. "I demand you delete those pictures immediately!"

"No way! I'm gonna print 'em out and frame 'em!" Joey exclaimed, letting out a squeak as he ducked away from the older boy's hands. "Oh, come on! I didn't say anything about the pictures ya took of me when I was all tied up!"

The brunet snorted in disbelief. "You nearly knocked me out because you punched me so hard!"

"That's not sayin' anything! _Eek!_" He dodged another lunge and scampered around the couch, holding the camera protectively as he scowled at the other boy. "I'm keepin' the pictures, Seto."

Seto hissed angrily, coming to a stop directly across from him. "Why do you want them so badly?"

"Because you're _cute,_" Joey snapped, taking a cautious step backward.

The brunet began to circle the couch again. "I'm perfectly cute outside of those pictures. Delete them."

"_No._"

Seto snarled. "_Joey!_"

"I'll fight ya t' the death!" Joey roared, running around the couch quickly as the brunet leapt over the back of it. "Argh!"

"Funny, it looks more like you're running—"

"Because you're not gonna fight t' the death! You're gonna fight until ya break my camera and then you're gonna molest me and take pictures of me with your stupid cell phone again! –Take that picture of me after that role-playing session off your background!" he added, squealing as the brunet lunged at him again. "Nyeek! Like when ya tied me up and fucked me and then took pictures of me! I looked like your whore in those pictures!"

"I like having them with me when I go on business trips! Besides, that's different! I jack off to those!"

"GAH! Don't say that so casually!"

"Besides, I know you're going to show those pictures to Yugi, and he'll show them to Yami, and I don't need that sort of blackmail in the hands of my enemy!" Seto continued, then growled in annoyance and finally tackled his lover to the ground. "Give me the camera, Joey!"

"Nyooo!" Joey wriggled helplessly and tried to protect the camera with his body. "Please, Seto! I don't have any cute pictures of ya! Please! _Please!_"

The brunet growled. "…Are you begging me?"

The younger boy looked up at him with big, damp eyes. "Please, Seto? Ya have all kinds of pictures of me! Can't I just have these!"

Seto glared at him for a few moments, then snorted in disgust and got to his feet, stomping away from. "Fine, see if I care."

…That was Seto's way of saying, 'Fine, but you can't complain about the pictures I have of _you_ anymore.'

Joey stared after him for a moment before sitting up straight and turning the camera on. He giggled as he scrolled through the photos.

Seto curled around one of the body pillows, hugging it tightly because he thought it was Joey.

Seto asleep at his desk, his square-framed black glasses askew from the way he was lying and the screen showing row after row of capital H's from his chin on the keyboard.

Seto slouched in an easy chair, book open on his lap and glasses nearly hanging off his nose as his head bowed forward.

…Seto curled around another body pillow, his hand up to his mouth, thumb stuck firmly in his mouth.

Joey squealed at the cuteness and hugged the camera to his chest. "So adorable!"


	140. Fun and Games: M

To EvilSora101: Hey, I'd love to be able to reply to you but fanfic says your PMs are disabled! I have no way to contact you with my reply! Get back to me, okay? **;)**

Author's Note: Many people have reviewed saying that they would also love more panties and spanking. Alas, only panties in this one. But sexy panties!**  
**

* * *

Fun and Games

"I hope ya die slowly and painfully."

Seto raised an eyebrow and turned, unable to help the lewd smirk that appeared on his face when he saw the reason his lover was glaring at him. "Well, what is this?"

"Ya _know_ what this is," Joey snarled, motioning at the red corset with black lace he was wearing.

The brunet hummed and let his eyes trail downward, smirk growing smugger when they landed on the matching panties. "I suppose I do. A kinky corset and the cutest panties I've ever seen."

"You asshole!" The younger boy stomped his foot, drawing attention to the red stockings being held up by a black-laced garter belt. "I'll have ya know that I _don't_ like comin' out of a nice, long shower only t' find all of our clothes removed from our room—mine _and_ yours! How didja even manage that, anyway? I couldn't even find a sock!"

"I have my ways…" Seto murmured, reaching out to grab the blond's hips.

Joey gasped and immediately shoved him away, blushing as he glared at him. "Don't think I'm just gonna let ya get away with it! I-I'll just go and look for my clothes, and—"

"You'd allow the _maids_ to see you in this?" the brunet asked, reaching out to pull on the laces of the corset.

The blond screeched and slapped his hand away. "I said I'm not gonna let ya get away with it! And I don't think this is any more embarrassing than that maid walkin' in on me after ya'd tied me t' the bed in a French maid costume!" He blushed even more and crossed his arms, turning his gaze away. "Actually, this is probably less embarrassing. The maids gossiped about your fetish with maid outfits for weeks, and they made sure t' stay outta sight."

Seto purred and grasped the younger boy's hips again, dragging him up against his body before he could escape. "How do you know I haven't had all your clothes destroyed?"

"You would _never_ banish yourself t' the couch by destroyin' my favorite shirt," Joey hissed, glaring at him despite the blush darkening his cheeks further.

"Hmm. You're right," the brunet agreed, then smirked wickedly. "But they've gone to their homes for the evening."

The younger boy immediately frowned, shifting his weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. "…S-so?"

"And Mokuba's staying the night at a friend's house…"

Joey gulped and looked down quickly. His lover was currently dressed in his casual clothes, a button-up shirt with the top three buttons undone and a pair of slacks.

Clothes he had previously proven he could move quite well in.

Well, at least he was wearing socks; they wouldn't help on the polished wooden floors.

Joey gasped as he felt the brunet fiddling with the buckle at the back of his garter belt and squealed, tearing away from him quickly. "_Gah!_"

The grin on Seto's face was decidedly wicked—almost _evil_ as he held up the garter belt and raised his eyebrows inquisitively. "Would you like a five second head start?"

The blond shrieked and ran out of the room, his stockinged feet skidding a little on the wooden floor. "Seto Kaiba I hope it falls it off!" He squealed as he heard the brunet come running after him and hurriedly pounded down the stairs. "Please! _Please,_ Seto, I-!"

Seto leapt down the last few stairs and snarled as he just barely missed the blond's arm. "Damn!"

"Nyeek!" Joey couldn't help a nervous giggle, still unwilling to admit to himself that he liked this game. "Leave me alone!"

"You don't really want that," the brunet replied, smirking, as he continued the chase. He was momentarily distracted as he saw the red stockings sliding down the younger boy's pale thighs. "Though the view back here is _very_ nice," he added under his breath, watching the blond's panties cup his ass attractively with each step.

The blond squealed as his right stocking slid down to his knee, nearly tripping as it seemed to slither off of his leg. "Yeek! Shit!"

Seto snatched up the stocking as he ran past, already planning on how to use it to tie his lover up when he caught up to him. "You look sexy with just one stocking on, puppy!"

The younger boy blushed and ran back toward the stairs. There were more rooms on the second floor; he could only run through the larger rooms downstairs so many times before he unconsciously started a pattern. He gasped as he felt the brunet's hand nearly catch his hip, instead just barely catching his other stocking. He allowed the older boy to strip it off, instead using the stunned pause to his advantage as he ran away. "Gah!"

The brunet growled quietly. While the other stocking was nice, he'd been hoping to catch the younger boy's panties. The blond would have been too embarrassed to run if he'd ripped them off, and the idea of taking his puppy while he was wearing nothing but a corset and one stocking turned him on.

Well, that was a fantasy for another time, he supposed.

Joey yelped as his feet slipped on something and fell to the ground. "Ahn! Wha-!" Turning to see what had tripped him up, he gasped when he saw the red stocking on the ground. "How did ya even-!"

Seto immediately leapt on top of him. "Mine!"

"Nyeek! Lemme go! I—_Eek!_" The blond squirmed as the older boy knotted one end of the other stocking around his wrists, squeaking quietly when the other end was tied tightly to the spindles of the staircase's handrail. "Seto!"

"I just threw it under your feet. I wasn't that far behind you," the brunet muttered, sliding his hands down the younger boy's sides until they came to a rest on his hips. He leered at the blond and licked his lips. "It appears I've caught you and now have you at my mercy. What _should_ I do with you, puppy?"

Joey moaned and arched his hips up. "You're sure no one's here but us?"

Seto leaned down to kiss him lightly. "I made _absolutely_ sure that there's no one here but us."

"Nn…" The blond jerked his hips playfully. "Then pull my panties down and fuck me here."

The older boy felt any blood left in his brain flood down to his groin. "Really?"

"No." Joey giggled at the glare he received, then gave the brunet a leer of his own. "Just pull my panties down enough that you can stick it in. Let's do it with the panties still on."

Seto's brain almost shut down from the sheer sexiness of the suggestion. And, when his lover fluttered his eyelashes at him coyly, he couldn't help but follow his suggestion.


	141. Lullaby: K Plus

Author's Note: I must thank Academician again for this lovely skeleton that I have merely fleshed out. I must say, Academician, I'm beginning to love you.

…I swear I didn't mean for that to come off as creepy as it did.

Thank Academician for the fluff!

* * *

Lullaby

Seto moaned quietly and pulled his lover closer, nuzzling into his shoulder gently. "Mm…"

"Seto, I know you're tired. Go to sleep," Joey said softly, still half-basking in the afterglow.

The brunet grunted quietly. "So are you," he argued. "And I don't want to miss a moment with you."

Joey smiled and took a moment to fuss with the silk sheets, glad for the cool cloth after such rigorous bed time activity. He kissed the brunet's chest idly as he pulled the blankets up. Sometimes he wondered which he enjoyed more—the actual sex, or the afterglow. He supposed it was a tossup that depended on what exactly they were doing.

It was hard to beat how he felt at that very moment, though.

Sighing quietly, the blond smiled and nuzzled his shoulder in what he felt was a comforting manner. "I promise I'll still be here when you wake up."

Seto snaked an arm around his lover's waist and drew him even closer, hooking his leg over both of the blond's. "I hope so. This would be a perfect dream."

Joey giggled. "Want me to pinch you?"

The older boy smiled, but it wasn't enough to hide the drooping, sleepy eyelids or the small yawn he tried to disguise as a sigh. He was exhausted and he knew it, but as always, he was too stubborn to let a silly little human need like sleep hold sway over him.

The blond raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Go to sleep, Seto. Or I'll be forced t' sing ya a lullaby."

Seto chuckled and glanced down at him. "Go on then."

"Wha-?" the blond questioned in surprise.

Seto offered him a lopsided, tired smile. "Sing me a lullaby, then."

Joey blushed. "I… Um, do… Er, that is—"

"What?" The brunet chuckled again. "Don't you know any?"

"…Seto, on the street, 'sing you a lullaby' means t' knock someone's lights out," Joey explained, frowning. "I was kidding."

Seto smirked. "I know." As the blond scowled and muttered a few curses, his smile faded. "You know, I can't recall ever being sung a lullaby."

"_Never?_" the blond asked incredulously, turning onto his side and leaning up on one elbow. He examined his lover skeptically, seeming doubtful. "You've _never_ had a lullaby sung to you?"

Seto shrugged. "Not that I can remember."

"Are you serious? Fuck, Seto." Joey frowned. "My mother used t' sing one nearly every night." He sighed and shook his head, as if being put upon. "Jeez, now I _hafta_ sing one for ya."

"No, you don't." Despite his words, he smiled and stretched beneath the sheets to get comfortable.

"Well, too fuckin' bad, 'cause I'm singin' one for ya anyway," Joey stated, scowling. He laid his head on the brunet's shoulder and couldn't help a comfortable moan. "Mm. You ready?"

Seto sighed sleepily and closed his eyes. "Yeah."

The blond cleared his throat. "Lavender Green," he sang softly. "Diddle, diddle—"

"Lavender Blue." The older boy yawned widely.

Joey blinked in surprise but continued his lullaby. "You must love me, diddle, diddle."

"'cause I love you…"

The blond smiled. "I heard one say, diddle, diddle."

"…Since I came hither…"

"That you and I, diddle, diddle…"

"…Must lie… together…"

Joey tilted his head and surveyed his sleeping lover before whispering, "Ya cute bastard." He smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "G'night, Seto."


	142. Nightmare: K Plus

Author's Note: This is based on a conversation I had with my sister. I don't even know how the thought came into my head. I was just quite suddenly convinced that if I woke up one day to find myself as a tarantula, I would be terrified of myself.

Seto. **:(** You must suffer. My apologies.

* * *

Nightmare

"_GYARGH!_"

Seto jerked awake and looked around in confusion, squinting in the semi-darkness. "What the-? Joey? Are you okay?"

It was obvious, though, that Joey was not okay. He was sitting up in bed, breathing hard, with his hands clamped over his heart. His terrified expression and the cold sweat he was covered in made it clear that he had just had a nightmare.

The brunet frowned. "…Joey?"

"Oh _God_ Seto I just had the worst nightmare ever!" he wailed, then shuddered in disgust.

"…You wanna talk about it?" he asked after a moment, still groggy.

Joey turned toward him and couldn't help a relieved whimper. "Seto, I dreamed that I was a _tarantula!_"

Seto stared.

"I was just walkin' int' the bathroom and I glanced in the mirror and all of the sudden GIANT TARANTULA!" he continued, waving his arms wildly. "Oh, God, I had so many legs! And I was so _hairy!_"

Seto stared some more.

"And I had so many fuckin' eyes! It was creepy! And I blinked at myself and I watched every single eyelid move—argh! I feel so dirty! It was the worst nightmare ever!" He shuddered again and hugged himself. "So gross. Stupid legs and hair and _eyes!_"

Seto sighed and turned, shoving his head beneath his pillow. Joey needed to stop eating just before they went to bed.


	143. Thug: T

Author's Note: I got this out of my system. It was the beginning idea stuck in my head, so I had no idea how to end it, and the story just seems to fizzle out. I'm sorry if you find the ending lacking like I do. -_-

* * *

Thug

The last thing Seto had ever expected to face in school was the barrel of a gun. He stared down the narrow pipe, forcing back the urge to swallow the ball of anxiety forming in his throat even as his mind strove to find a way out of the situation. Two gunmen. He could outsmart two gunmen long enough for police to get there. The rest of the school was already on lockdown. He just needed to make sure neither he nor his classmates were killed within the time it would take.

The gun was jabbed at his face, and the voice muffled behind the ski mask snarled at him "Come on. Let's go."

Seto narrowed his eyes. "And just why should I go _anywhere_ with you?" This time, he couldn't help the nervous, thick swallow when the second gunmen swung his gun around to point at Yugi's head.

This was why he didn't have friends. This was why he didn't get close to anyone and pushed people away. He couldn't protect everyone, and so couldn't protect himself from the hurt. He had thought he'd guarded himself, had thought he'd shown enough contempt and hatred that no one would even think that threatening Yugi Moto would make him flinch.

He stood.

Yugi's eyes turned on him immediately, sharper and darker, yet not at all like his darker half's. _'If you leave, you'll die,'_ his eyes said. _'They'll be finding pieces of you for weeks. If you leave with them, they'll kill you.'_

Seto clenched his jaw. _'I know. But letting you die before I defeat you would be unacceptable.'_

An excuse. But adequate under the circumstances, because the other gun was still pointed at the smaller boy's head.

He began to walk toward the door, but the man snarled at him again. "The briefcase. Don't think we're stupid!"

Seto glared at him but returned to grab the metal briefcase. He turned to follow him. "If you think you're going to get away with this—"

"_Then you're sadly mistaken,_" an angry voice growled.

The two gunmen turned, the one threatening Yugi lifting his gun immediately. He got off two rounds before a knife lodged in his throat. He dropped his gun and grabbed at his throat, choking. Blood bubbled from between his lips with a gargling sound as he clawed at the knife, instinctively yanking it out.

"…Hope ya don't bleed out before the EMTs get here," Joey drawled, then turned to the other gunman. "Yer buddies outside 're… _tied up_ 't the moment." His lips twisted into a sadistic grin even as the second man lifted his gun, already squeezing the trigger to shoot him in the head. "Ya made a mistake, comin' here."

"I must say that I'm surprised I actually agree with you on something," Seto snapped, swinging the metal briefcase around to slam into the gunman's head.

There was the sound of a gunshot, and the brunet could only watch in horror as a red spot blossomed on the younger boy's white t-shirt in a grotesque crimson rose.

Joey looked down at his shirt, then frowned and looked up at him, lifting a hand to press against the wound, even as his knees trembled and he sank to the ground. "You coulda hit him sooner, ya know," he mumbled, then grunted and fell forward.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto frowned as he read over the official report Roland had given him. After the security detail has been taken out by gunmen (allowing the others to come into school and try and kidnap him), the men remembered being attacked by a blur of blue and yellow, allowing the bodyguards to take them down and tie them up. Unfortunately, the school was already under lockdown by the time the situation was secured, so they couldn't get inside to help.

The pairs of gunmen at odd intervals, however, were quickly dispatched. Three of the gunmen had been, for lack of a better word, pistol whipped with their own semi-automatic guns. Two others had been knocked out cold from just a couple of punches. The last one had been shot—by one of his partners in crime. Apparently, in the confusion, they hadn't been able to tell who had been the enemy and didn't really know what they were aiming at.

Then the pair that had come for him directly… One had died in the ambulance after taking a knife in the throat. The other was in the hospital for a concussion.

Sometimes he forgot that Joey had come from a rougher side of town and an even rougher lifestyle on the streets. The blond would smile, and act so sweet and helpful, and all of the sudden this mean, snarly boy had swept through the school, kicking ass and reminding everyone that he wasn't some pansy that pretended to be a thug in his spare time; he _had_ been a thug at one point and he was quite capable of reverting to that lifestyle if the need arose.

And it had. Joey hadn't known what was going on; all he'd known was that something was wrong, and had taken it upon himself to make everything right in his own world. He hadn't done it because anyone had asked, or because he particularly cared what they were there for. He just knew that he didn't like those people there and so he got rid of them.

And he _definitely_ hadn't liked finding someone pointing a gun at his best friend's head.

Seto's frown grew more troubled. He wondered if Joey would have done all those things if he'd known it was because of him. He'd never been kind to him, so Joey had really had no incentive to help him. He knew that Yugi had cared, had tried to change his mind with the truth, but would Joey have even lifted a finger to help him if he'd been in class on time?

"Ngh…"

Seto turned his head sharply as the blond on the hospital bed shifted. "Joey?"

"Hrn… Was I shot?" Joey squinted his eyes open and looked around in confusion. "…I've been shot. Again." He sighed, then frowned as his eyes landed on Seto. "…Hey. Hey, Tristan. Is Kaib' okay? Those guys were there fer him, right? So's Kaib' okay?"

The brunet blinked at him for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Kaiba's fine."

"Good. Kaib' didn't deserve t' die." The blond sighed again and relaxed, letting his eyes drift closed.

Seto frowned. "What about you? Are you saying that _you_ deserved to die?"

The younger boy offered him a tired, doped up smile. "Tris', please. We gone over 'is before. 'f anything happens t' me, yer gonna take care o' Serenity and Téa's gonna take care of Yugi." His smile faded a little. "'cause we both know wit' th' way I'm goin', I ain't gonna be aroun' that long." He grumbled and turned onto his side. "Fuck, I hurt. 'm goin' back t' sleep while I'm still drugged up, Tris'."

The brunet reached out to touch his arm. "Why'd you help Kaiba?"

"Just 'cause he's a bastard don't mean he's evil, Tris'. 'nd… maybe I don't want 'im t' die yet."

Seto raised his eyebrows. "Oh? And when would be an appropriate time for him to die?"

"After we 'ave hot monkey sexxx," the blond slurred. "He's hot and I think it could be kiiiinkyyyy."

The brunet stared at him for a minute. "What."

Joey turned to look up at him and frowned. "I figured out ya weren't Tris after ya started talkin'. Ya think I'm really that stupid, Kaib'?"

"You want to have hot monkey sex with me?" Seto scowled. "I don't even know what that means. When have you ever seen two overheated apes having sexual intercourse? I find this perversion alarming."

The blond stared up at him for a few moments before chuckling quietly. "Kaiba, that's not what that means." His smile turned into a leer. "But after I'm healed up a little, I can show ya what it means, if ya want."

The older boy glared at him for a few moments longer before tilting his head a little. "…I suppose that would be acceptable. It's the least I could do, after your help today." He glared at him again. "But if you take that story to the press, I will ruin whatever pitiful existence you have left."

Joey blinked, then smiled brightly. "Really? Great! I won't tell anyone!" He paused, then frowned. "…You really don't know what that means?"

"I don't normally have sex for recreational purposes."

"…" The blond blinked at him. "O…kay…"

"…Meaning I usually only have sex as leverage in a business deal," Seto explained.

"But… Kaiba… That's just…"

"Wrong? Probably. But considering who my 'father' was, you shouldn't really expect anything less," he stated, then began packing up his papers and folders. "Now that I've seen that you're going to be okay, I'm leaving. I'll take care of the bill at the end of your stay." He paused, then turned a deadpanned stare on him. "Try not to be too much trouble. The nurses know you by name and they tell me you always try to leave sooner than you should. _Don't._"

Joey smiled a dopey smile and laid his head back on his pillow. "Well, since you're payin', I guess I don't mind." He watched the brunet leave, then hummed happily. "Hot monkey sex with Seto Kaiba. No one would believe me anyway," he mumbled, snuggling up to his pillow.


	144. Food for Thought: T

Author's Note: I'll admit it **:|** Sometimes I like to make Joey the bad guy.

* * *

Food for Thought

"FUCK YOU AND WHATEVER STUCK-UP HORSE YA RODE IN ON, YA BASTARD!"

Seto looked at the shattered glass and ruined dinner on the floor, then turned to watch the blond stomp away. "…So are you staying at _Yugi's_ house until you get over this snit you're in?"

Joey let out an angry roar. The fight they'd been having before he'd gotten frustrated and thrown the plate of lasagna on the floor had been about _exactly_ that; how he went to Yugi every time their relationship turned rocky. Seto had said that he was probably more in love with Yugi than with him. Now, as he went to go to Yugi's, he'd only proved it further.

"I don't _care!_ Screw you! You can make your _own_ fuckin' meals and keep your bed warm yourself! Bastard! _Bastard!_"

Seto frowned as he watched him leave, then looked back down at the mess on the floor. Once he heard the door slam a few minutes later, signaling that the blond had finally left, he went to find a maid and ask her to clean it; he had been forbidden from cleaning up any mildly dangerous materials (broken glass, broken pots, broken china—basically anything broken), and so it was either risk Mokuba's poor little fingers (which he would not do) or get the maids to clean it for him.

Ugh. It had been the maids that had forbidden him from cleaning broken things up. Apparently, he could be trusted to put together a duel disk with thousands of tiny parts with an electric current going through them, but he could not pick up a glass he'd broken.

He blamed the doctor. Fifteen stitches in his hand for a slice across his palm was terribly excessive! It hadn't been that bad! …Okay, so he'd lost a pint of blood, but other than that, it hadn't been bad!

…Maybe there was a reason he wasn't allowed to pick up glass, now that he thought about it.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"…What the hell is this?"

Mokuba sighed. "It's raw meat, Seto."

"What do I do with raw meat? Other than cook it, I mean."

"…Seto, you don't know how to cook meat."

Seto continued to stare at the package in his hands for a while, then sighed and threw it back in the fridge. "Call for pizza, then, Mokuba. Just don't make it something completely disgusting."

"Yay!"

The brunet frowned and reached in to poke the raw meat again. The fight had all started over dinner. Joey had made him promise to come home early so they could eat together as a family. He'd made sure to get home at the time he'd promised, too, only to find his lover late himself; he'd gotten distracted with a duel at the game shop and hadn't made it home to start dinner yet.

The shouting match once Joey had gotten home had sent Mokuba scampering up to his room, and the insults had gotten vicious. Seto was ashamed to admit that he'd even thrown in a couple of 'mutts' and had gotten a few 'moneybags' in return. Then had come the 'you love Yugi, don't you?'

The blond had glared murder at him, snapping that yes, he did, and he'd always love Yugi because they were best friends. Seto had snarled back that he could just go fuck the midget in retaliation.

Joey had absolutely lost it then, shrieking and cursing at him in such a violent manner that Seto had been afraid he might get hit. Luckily, the blond had just stormed out, but… Seto still felt badly for saying some of the things he did. Now it had been two days, and Joey had shown no sign of getting in contact with him. He was tired of pizza but didn't want to go out; the tabloids started nasty rumors that he was single again whenever he went out alone.

…He wasn't really hungry, he decided.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Um… Joey ordered these for us when I complained about take-out every night," Mokuba stated nervously, motioning to the dozens of frozen TV dinners on the counter. "But I can't get them all in the freezer."

Seto stared at the boxes for a few moments, stunned, then sighed quietly. "Mokuba, would it be too much trouble to have you stay at a friend's house tonight? …I'll… take care of this mess," he added, then leaned his face in his hand and sighed again. "Maybe Shuya?"

The younger boy frowned. He didn't want to leave his brother alone like this, but Joey had explained to him that this was just to get the point across that Seto _needed_ him, and when he finally realized that, Joey would take the time to explain that _platonic_ love and _romantic_ love were just not the same. He'd promised to come home tonight.

But he _really_ didn't want to be around if they were going to have another shouting match. And Shuya's mom just _loved_ to stuff him with home baked goods, because he was 'a poor little motherless child that was welcome to come over anytime.' And he _did_ miss home-cooking…

"Okay. Um, so… I'll come say goodbye before I leave. Okay?"

"That's fine." Seto waited for him to leave before turning a venomous glare on the boxed dinners in front of him. So this was the puppy's way of telling him 'so long, sucker?' That meant he'd been right; Joey really _did_ love Yugi more.

He'd… he'd lost to his rival again.

Seto felt his world shatter at that one revelation. He'd thought he'd been a good lover, a good boyfriend, but apparently it hadn't been good _enough._ Now _Yugi_ had his beautiful puppy, who had always been a devoted, thoughtful partner. And Joey was obviously much happier with him.

Mokuba peeked into the kitchen one last time, frowning in concern. "…I'm going now, Seto. Are you going to be okay?"

"…I'll be fine," the brunet replied quietly. "Have fun."

He listened to his brother leave, counting the footsteps, then growled when he heard the door close. He glared at the TV dinners again, nearly trembling with anger at his defeat, then roared furiously and swept them off the counter.

After that was just a blur of crashes and shattering; he couldn't remember what all he'd done, but after he'd calmed down and actually looked at the scene, all he saw was carnage, and he realized belatedly that his hands were sliced up from broken glass.

Seto frowned and stared at his hands for a moment, then turned to look at the white tiles of the counter. Joey had always kept them spotless, always disinfecting them and keeping care to not stain them; he'd said that there was nothing more annoying to a chef than a stain or smudge on white tiles. The brunet growled at that, brows furrowing together angrily, before he dragged his bloody hands across the counters, smearing long, crimson streaks along it.

Feeling satisfied that he'd adequately trashed the room that the puppy had so coveted, he turned and walked out of the kitchen. He walked upstairs and made his way casually to his room. His slick fingers fumbled with the doorknob for a minute, but he got the door open and made his way to the bathroom, to wash his hands. Once washed (though still dripping a little blood), he could only stare at them.

He didn't want the maids to screech at him about his carelessness. He didn't want Mokuba to worry about him going to the hospital, and his little brother wasn't there to bandage his hands for him. That left very little for him to do.

Sitting down on the edge of the tub helplessly, Seto continued to stare at his hands, dyed the lightest pink from washing them and still dripping pinkish-red water onto the beige tiles, and that was when he realized that he'd managed to cut his feet, too, despite the socks he'd been wearing, as he saw the vaguely foot-shaped prints on the floor. He didn't know how to bandage his hands by himself, could not manage to bandage his feet because his hands hurt too much to try, and he had no one to ask for help. All he could do was sigh… and stare.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"What the _fuck-?_"

Joey could only stand in the doorway and stare in disbelief, too nervous to step into the room with his bare feet. The TV dinners he'd sent over (mostly, he would admit, to piss Seto off) were scattered across the ground, smashed and torn up. There was glass shattered on the floor, he assumed from the bowls and glass canisters on the counter being swept onto the floor. From the broken glass, he saw red drops on the floor, and he realized with a growing feeling of horror that it wasn't ketchup smeared across the counters, but _blood._

He gulped past the lump forming in his throat and glanced down at the floor, following the crimson trail with his eyes, then turned and began to follow it up the stairs. He reached out to open the door, hand hovering just over the knob when he realized more blood was smeared over it, then gently nudged it open with his foot, instead.

Seeing that the light in the bathroom was on, Joey walked over to it, then hesitantly pushed the door open. He felt his heart break a little when he saw the helpless way the brunet was staring at his hands. He couldn't bring himself to stay angry when Seto looked so pathetic and confused.

He sighed quietly as he pulled the first-aid kit from its spot beneath the sink, then knelt in front of his lover slowly, afraid to agitate him too much. "Seto…?"

"…I am honestly baffled as to how you managed to fix yourself while you were in your gang," Seto stated quite firmly.

Joey couldn't help a snort of amusement, quickly muffling it as he pulled out some gauze. "Well, ya pick up things naturally after a while."

"Ah. I see." The brunet was silent as the younger boy bandaged his hands, but when he turned his attention to his feet, he quietly asked, "Why did you come back?"

"T' take care of ya, stupid. You're obviously _pathetic_ without me."

At that, Seto scowled and jerked his head away. "…Why don't you go take care of _Yugi_ instead?"

"Because he's not completely hopeless and even if he was he's got Téa t' look after him and why would I wanna take care of him anyway?" Joey exclaimed, glaring at him.

The brunet's expression hardened, meant to hide his feelings, but only exposed just how much agony he was in at the thought. "Because you left me for him."

The blond's face immediately twisted into a frustrated scowl. "When the hell did I leave ya for him? I was _mad._ I left t' cool off so I wouldn't _strangle you_ and Yug's good at calmin' me down. I actually _wasn't_ in the mood t' go t' jail for murderin' ya!"

"…But you left me to fend for myself after you'd already decided I was hopeless without you."

"I expected ya t' eat _out_ or somethin' while I was gone! I mean, Jesus, I left a list of good restaurants on the counter and everything! And then Mokuba said you guys have been havin' _pizza_ every night and I realized just how _stupid_ ya really are! So I sent some TV dinners t' store 'em here in case I ever hafta cool off again and you're too stubborn t' go out! And, _by the way,_ I saw 'em all smashed up on the floor! What the hell!"

Seto only stared at him, frowning, his eyes unwavering. Then, he slowly looked back down at his bandaged hands. "…I thought you might be so mad that you didn't care anymore."

Joey felt all of his angry fire go out in a burst of ice cold regret that began to freeze him from the inside out. "…Why… why would you think that?"

"Because Yugi is better than me. He's always better than me. I really shouldn't be surprised that you like him more. He has no trouble showing how much he cares. He doesn't have to worry about things like kidnapping or blackmail. He's a happy person. It only makes sense that you'd get frustrated that I'm the exact opposite and go somewhere else where you _could_ get those things." Seto sighed. "…I'm tired…"

"…Kids usually are after they threw a tantrum like you did," the blond answered quietly, patting his bandaged feet gently. He smiled a little when the brunet grumbled at being compared to a child. "I'll call the limo so we can get ya t' the hospital, okay?"

"You bandaged me. Why do I still need to go to the hospital?" Seto asked, frowning.

Joey took the older boy's hands in his own. "Because some of those scratches need stitches. I don't think you'll be able to type for a while…"

"Shiiit…" The brunet grumbled to himself a little but allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. "Mokuba's going to yell at me…"

The blond smiled a little. "Not t' mention the maids when they see the kitchen."

Seto huffed in annoyance. "Perhaps this was not one of my better ideas…" he admitted, grimacing as he finally became aware of the cuts on his feet.

Joey sighed and bit his bottom lip as he watched the older boy's face twist in pain. He'd never meant for Seto to think he was leaving him. It was nice to know that Seto cared about him so much, but he didn't know that his lover would meltdown completely if he thought he was leaving him.

He'd _never_ intended to leave him. Yes, they got in fights (they were both strong-willed and stubborn; it would be impossible to not have fights), and they usually wound up resolved, more or less. And yes, sometimes there were disagreements that were never solved, like how insecure they got when it came to their significant other being around other people (Seto thought Joey was pulling away when he spent a lot of time with his friends, and Joey worried that someone may try to steal Seto away from him because they were smarter or more attractive).

But he'd thought that he'd made it clear that Yugi was _just_ his friend. Apparently, he'd been wrong, and now he had a wounded dragon to deal with—both emotionally and physically.

He'd start with getting him some stitches. Then, he'd explain the difference between platonic and romantic love to him. Hopefully, that would help Seto understand.

Joey grimaced in sympathy as the brunet looked at the stairs despairingly. It was going to be a long walk down. Taking one of the older boy's wounded hands between his own, he offered him what he hoped was an apologetic smile. "I'll help ya down, Seto."

Seto glanced at him and frowned for a moment, then offered his own little smile. "Thank you, puppy."

So they'd forgiven each other for the moment. Joey knew that he had to work a little more to be forgiven for _everything_, of course, considering he'd (unintentionally) hurt his dragon a lot more than he'd been hurt, but he was certain that pampering the brunet while he was unable to type would hopefully make up for it.


	145. Crushing on the Baron: K Plus

Author's Note: Allow me to be the first to admit it. **:|** I HAVE A CRUSH ON BARON FROM "THE CAT RETURNS"! He's just so cool! **:3** How can anyone NOT have a crush on him!

* * *

Crushing on the Baron

Seto turned his head as he heard the door open, taking a sip of his coffee, then let his paper fall flat in his lap as he saw the blond trudging inside. "Hey, puppy. How was your movie ni—"

Joey threw his head back and whined. "I'm such a freeeeak!"

The brunet stared at him, baffled. "…Oookaaay. And why is that?"

"Because I have a crush on a caaaaaaaaaaaat!" the younger boy howled.

Seto stared at him a little longer. "…Um… What are you talking about?"

"Why am I such a freak!" The blond buried his face in his hands and moaned, feeling pathetic and gross. "I have a crush on a cat! What is _wrong_ with me?"

"…I could make a list," the CEO replied. When the blond began to wail, feeling mortified, he frowned. "Alright, tell me what the hell you're talking about."

Joey sniffled. "Téa brought a movie called 'The Cat Returns' t' movie night. She said it was the sequel t' the movie we watched last week that she'd brought."

"And who is this cat you have such a hard on for?" Seto winced as the blond wailed again. Perhaps this wasn't a very good time to tease him. "Joey, please."

The blond rubbed his eyes and sat down beside him as the older boy pulled out his laptop. "His name is Baron Humbert von Gikkingen."

"…" Seto turned to stare at him, then decided to make fun of the character's name later. Instead, he searched forums and blogs, frowning a little as he skimmed through them. "…Well, you're no more freakish than these people, puppy. They all think Baron Humbert von Gikkingen is… the shit? What the hell does that even mean?"

"They're describin' him wrong!" Joey stood up, hands clenched into fists. "Baron's so cool! He's suave and daring and just—just so _cool!_"

The brunet stared up at him again, pursing his lips. "…Yeah."

"If ya saw the movie you'd think he was cool too!" Joey exclaimed defensively. "If I were a cat, I'd marry him!"

Seto narrowed his eyes. "…Right. In any case, a bunch of girls on the internet also claim undying love for your 'Baron,' so you don't have to worry about being such a freak. …I'd say these girls are more freakish. At least you just have a crush on him and aren't screaming your love from the rooftops."

The blond heaved a relieved sigh. "Oh, thank God."

Seto rolled his eyes, then stood, taking one last sip of his coffee before he put his laptop back in his briefcase and folded up the newspaper. "I'm going to change and go to bed. I had a late meeting tonight and I was just waiting for you to get home before going to bed."

Joey tilted his head innocently as the brunet lifted his briefcase and slung the jacket of his suit over his other arm, blinking as he tried to figure out what it reminded him of. He blushed when he realized that the white suit reminded him very much of Baron's, and he shivered when he realized that Seto could also be suave and daring—just a lot less polite about it than Baron was.

Pausing at the bottom of the staircase, Seto turned to frown at him, raising an eyebrow. "Are you coming or not, puppy?"

The blond blushed a little more, then giggled quietly and hurried to catch up to him, hugging one of the older boy's arms tightly. "You're a lot cooler than Baron is though, Seto. Always!"

"I'm glad you think so, puppy. I would have been alarmed if you found an animated cat more attractive than I am," the brunet replied, leaning down to kiss his forehead.


	146. Tie: K Plus

Author's Note: Joey has as much social grace as Seto in some aspects. Seto has an incredibly acute filter between his brain and his mouth (as long as it's business he's talking about; his purely social filter is broken, but being repaired by Mokuba), while Joey… has none whatsoever. OTL

* * *

Tie

"—And make sure Wheeler doesn't drool on the couch," Seto finished, fumbling with his tie.

"Hey!"

"Okay, Seto," Mokuba cut in, before the blond could get too agitated. "Thanks for letting me invite them over while you're out to dinner."

"Well, I'll probably roped into going elsewhere afterward, so I didn't want you here all alone," the brunet replied, trying to get the group that had been invited over to stop looking at him as if he may have a heart. When that failed and they continued to stare at him, he scowled, deciding to direct their attention elsewhere. "What? Never seen anyone tie a tie before?"

"Why are ya wearin' a tie, anyway?" Joey griped, scowling. "Ya go on about safety for your brother and shit, but then ya go and wear _that._"

"…Joey, what are you talking about?" Yugi asked, covering his mouth to hide a smile when he saw the elder Kaiba's flabbergasted expression. "There's nothing unsafe about a tie."

Téa snorted. "You're just jealous because you could never tie one by yourself."

The blond glared at them sourly, then turned to the still stunned brunet and simply stated, "Ya know, I could strangle ya t' death with that thing. I could take ya down in thirty seconds if I wanted."

Seto's jaw dropped, and he struggled to think of something clever or even cruel to say to the former thug, but there were just… no words.

"…What is the _matter _with you!" Tristan snapped, smacking the blond in the back of the head. "You don't just tell someone how quickly you can kill them!"

"Oooow!" The blond rubbed the back of his head. "Come on! Anyone knows that if ya just block the carotid arteries—_OOOOWWWWW!_" He covered his head and curled up in a ball so his friend couldn't continue to hit him.

Téa threw her hands up in frustration. "Have you _any_ idea what the word 'inappropriate' means! God, Joey!"

"…Good luck at your dinner meeting, Kaiba," Yugi stated, ever the cheerful one. He'd learned long ago that to deal with Joey, his idiosyncrasies had to be taken in stride, because he had no idea how to change them. "I hope everything goes well."

"Bye, Seto!" Mokuba added as his brother quickly left the room.

Seto grunted something that vaguely sounded like goodbye, then hurried out to the limo, eager to get away from… whatever it was that had just happened. "Unbelievable. Just… _fucking_ unbelievable." He went to finish fixing his shirt, folding the collar down over his tie, then paused.

…He could be strangled to death in less than a minute by a common street thug. If a trained assassin was out to get him, perhaps they could kill him in even less than that. It was so simple…

.-.-.-.-.-.

"When would you like the limo brought back around for you, sir—Mr. Kaiba, you're not wearing a tie," Roland commented, surprised.

Seto flipped out his collar and sighed. "I'm well aware, Roland."

"…You look like you just got out of a long meeting, sir."

"Maybe they'll take the hint that I'm tired and we can get this dinner over with as quickly as possible," the brunet muttered, scowling. "Roland, did you know that it's possible to strangle someone to death in under a minute?"

"It's possible to do it in fifteen seconds, I do believe," the bodyguard added. He frowned as he watched the blood drain from his employer's face. "…Mr. Kaiba?"

The brunet cleared his throat. "It's nothing, Roland. Have the limo brought around in an hour. I'll feign a headache if we're not finished by then."

"Alright, sir."

Seto sighed as he began into the restaurant, suddenly feeling exhausted and, for some reason, stupid. "…I've been walking around with a murder weapon tied around my neck for years."


	147. Sexy: T

Sexy

Seto tried to keep from getting annoyed, but he knew that where Joey was involved, it was impossible for him not to be. It was even more aggravating because he knew exactly what the blond was staring at, and he was embarrassed by them. Turning toward the younger boy sharply, he barked, "What the hell are you looking at?"

Instead of rising to the bait (he usually matched Seto's annoyance with annoyance of his own), Joey merely smiled and shrugged, leaning his head on his hand. "You."

"No, you're looking at my glasses," Seto stated irritably. "Stop it. It's pissing me off."

The blond gave him a look clearly telling him that he thought he was stupid, and he was ready to roar and throw him out of the office so he could work in peace, but then the 'you're stupid' look changed into a 'you're turnin' me on' look and took the wind from his sails. He paused, waiting for the younger boy's next move as he recalculated his own.

Joey placed his arms on the desk and leaned forward, purring, "Why should I stop starin' when those glasses make ya look so _sexy?_"

Seto almost _felt_ the wrench being thrown into the cogs of his brain. "…What?"

"I think they make ya look sexy," the blond repeated, standing. He sauntered around the desk and slid onto the older boy's lap. "And I usually don't think glasses are sexy, but on you… Yeah." He leaned down to kiss him softly, giggling a little when the square black frames knocked against his temple. "I don't know why ya don't like wearin' 'em."

"Because they get in the way and they make me look like a nerd," the brunet answered immediately.

Joey leaned backward, blinking at him in honest surprise, then snorted. "Seto, you _are_ a nerd."

"…I think our definitions of 'nerd' may be a little different—"

"Nerd."

"…Hmph."

Joey cooed at him in a way he hoped was appeasing. "But a sexy nerd." He lifted a hand to play with the older boy's hair lightly. "Would ya mind doin' it with your glasses on, maybe? Just once?"

Seto stared at him for a moment, trying to decide whether or not he'd mind, but then the blond gave him a smoldering look that clearly said, 'if you do it I'll reward you with _sooo_ much sex' and the decision was clearly made for him.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"…That was fun," Seto stated quietly, letting his eyes drift shut. He lifted a hand to rub his eyes beneath his glasses and yawned. "I had no idea they turned you on quite so much."

Joey squirmed on top of him and cooed. "Ya sayin' ya had no idea how sexy they looked?"

"…Well, I do now." He lifted a hand to stroke down the blond's back and sighed, then raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "If you think I'm sexy when I'm wearing glasses, what else do you think is sexy?"

The younger boy leaned his chin on his hand and hummed, smiling a little as he thought about it. "I think you're sexy when you're mad and frustrated at your employees. Dunno why though. And I think you're sexy when you're wearin' your suits."

Seto paused. "…My suits?"

"Your white one especially. I dunno, maybe it somethin' I picked up on the streets, but sleepin' with powerful people is sort of a high, even if I'm on bottom," Joey explained, smiling sweetly.

The brunet hummed thoughtfully. "You think I look sexy in my white suits, huh…" He paused, then nodded to himself. "Tomorrow, then."

"Huh?" The younger boy blinked at him innocently. "Tomorrow what?"

"I'm seducing you when I get home from work instead of immediately changing into casual clothes." Seto smirked as he watched the blond's cheeks tint pink. "What, you never fantasized about it?"

Joey paused, then smiled and laid his head on his chest. "Okay. I'll make sure Mokuba's out with friends tomorrow then. …Probably won't need much seducin' though…"

"Good. That's less energy wasted so I can use more of it to fuck you silly," the brunet replied, taking his glasses off and laying them on the bedside table. "You know these are just reading glasses, right?"

The younger boy grinned. "Sexyyy!"

"…I suppose it doesn't matter…"

"Just like your suits!"

"Go to sleep, Joey."

"Suit sex!"

"…Can you wait or do you want me to go put one on now?"

"…I can wait until tomorrow. I'm just excited, I guess." Joey purred and snuggled closer to him. "Is there anything sexy about me that you really like?"

Seto tilted his head, giving the idea serious thought, then nodded. "I've always thought that when you put your hair in a ponytail to keep it from getting wet in the shower, it's pretty sexy."

"Really?" The younger boy hummed. "…Maybe tomorrow when ya get home, I'll have my hair in a ponytail then." He grinned. "Tomorrow's gonna be so fun!"

"It is indeed," Seto agreed. "Now go to sleep. You wore me out."


	148. Drinks: M

Author's Note: WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.

* * *

Drinks

"Sweetie, I love ya t' death, but if ya keep comin' t' my bar t' complain about what a prick Kaiba is, I'm gonna hafta throw ya out."

Joey groaned and hid his face in his arms even as the bartender set down a glass of… something in front of him. "But Cali, I'm twenty-five and he still calls me dog names."

"Drink your drink, bitch," Cali snapped, glaring at him. "Or get out."

The blond sat up and grimaced. "What are ya tryin' out on me now?" He stared. "God, that's huge. I'm gonna have a hangover for sure."

"It's got nine different liquors in it. Of course you're gonna have a hangover." She smiled as he took a sip of the frozen beverage and leaned on the bar. "So, how's it taste?"

"…Fruity and alcoholy. It burns, but it's good." He took another sip. "What's this one called?"

"It's called 'Suck, Bang, and Blow!'" she replied cheerfully.

He spewed his mouthful of beverage over the bar. "Wha-!"

"…I could always make you a Wet Pussy—Oh wait, you don't like those!" The bartender laughed.

"Shut up!"

"You want an Orgasm or a Blow Job?"

"I'M LEAVING."

The bartender began laughing so hard she had to hang onto the bar to keep from falling. "Fl-flip the sign t' open, Joey!"

"Fuck you and your mother!" he snapped, but flipped on the neon sign that said 'open.' "I thought bartenders were supposed t' give advice!"

"Next time he pisses ya off, invite him back here for an Orgasm!"

Joey slammed the door, blushing when the wood failed to block out her shrill laughter.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Mokuba, time to go," Seto stated, leaning into the game shop and somehow managing to look at his little brother without looking at anyone else.

Mokuba frowned. "But Joey was just helping me with my English homework and—"

"The mutt couldn't even manage to do his _own _homework in school, Mokuba. Besides, you can already speak English."

"Just because I speak it doesn't mean I know how to write it!" the boy exclaimed, grabbing his hair in frustration. "And I have an essay due in three days!"

"…An essay for your English class?"

"SHUT UP IT'S PART OF THE NECESSARY COURSEWORK!"

"Whatev, Mokuba," Joey sighed, too tired to be riled up. He'd worked two shifts already and he still had to go try whatever cocktail Cali was going to give away for free that night at her bar—a condition she'd put in place for letting him crash at her place when his roommate locked him out in favor of having sex with whatever slut he dragged home that night. He glared at his phone. "—the hell is in 'Sex on My Face?"

Time seemed to screech to a halt as Mokuba, Seto, and Yugi spun toward him in shock. However, the blond was too tired and too cranky to acknowledge the attention he was suddenly graced with. "I'd rather have a Blow Job," he muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he began toward the door.

He paused next to the brunet, vaguely remembering what Cali had told him. After a moment, he leaned toward him and hummed. "Hey Kaiba?"

Seto swallowed thickly but made sure to keep a straight face. "What?"

"…You look like a fruity kind of guy. You should try a Suck, Bang, and Blow." He chuckled when the brunet's eyes widened. "Then again, ya really like coffee, so you should just stick with Butt Sex. Mm 'kay?"

Seto's jaw dropped as the blond walked out of the shop. "What. The actual. Fuck."

"…Oh, that's right," Yugi muttered, frowning thoughtfully. "He has a friend he'll bunk with that owns a bar. Yesterday he had an Orgasm."

Mokuba frowned as he watched his brother merely stand in the doorway with a blank stare. Once his shut-down brain managed to reboot, however, he turned and left without a word. The younger boy sighed and turned to his friend, running a hand through his hair. "Yugi, can _you _help me with my English homework?"

Yugi immediately looked appalled. "Did you even see the grades I made back in high school? Why would you ever want my help for _college _homework?"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"So, what do you think?"

"Sex on My Face is awesooooome," Joey drawled, laughing.

Cali frowned. "I keep forgetting you're a happy drunk."

"'m a _very_ happy drunk. Booze." The blond giggled and stirred his drink with a straw.

"…Stop drinking," she ordered, snatching the glass away from him. "You're an _annoyingly_ happy drunk."

Joey whined. "What 'm I supposed t' drink noooow?"

"Bloody Mary minus the booze," she replied, scowling, then sighed. "Lemme go make one. Keep an eye on the bar; I'm flippin' on the open sign."

The blond whined again. "But booooooze!"

"Stop bitchin' and shut yer yap."

Joey huffed and laid his head on the bar. "…But booze…"

"I thought you didn't want to end up like your old man," a vaguely familiar voice stated.

The blond huffed. "I'm not. I don't beat up on anybody. I don't spend all my money on booze and get in huge amounts of debt."

"And yet here you are getting drunk off your ass."

"Sex on My Face is awesome!"

Seto raised an eyebrow, then took a seat next to him at the bar and leaned his elbow on it, moving closer to hover over the blond's face. "You would like sex on your face, wouldn't you, mutt?" He smirked as the younger man blearily stared up at him. "Then again, anyone that likes sucking, banging, and blowing would have to like sex on their face, wouldn't they?"

Joey sat up straight, shuddering as the world swirled for a moment, then turned to glare at the brunet awkwardly. "Shut uuuup, asshooooole."

Cali returned at that moment, slamming the glass of virgin Bloody Mary in front of the blond. "Drink that." She turned to the brunet and smiled. "And what'll you be havin'?"

"…Wheeler mentioned something about a drink with coffee in it."

She frowned and scratched the back of her head. "Coffee… The most recent coffee drink was… Butt Sex." She turned to look at the blond, then made a sound that sounded like a 'snerk' as she choked back her laughter. "Ya want Butt Sex?"

Seto tilted his head and hummed. "What's in it?" He smirked. "Besides a dick up someone's ass, anyway."

Cali lost any battle at a straight face and began shrieking with laughter. "Espresso okay?"

"Sure. I'll be drunk _and_ energetic." Seto watched her walk over to get a glass and begin pouring the espresso in, then turned and leaned toward the blond again, whispering, "So, did you like Butt Sex when you had it, Joey?"

Joey squeaked and leaned away from him, blushing a little. "Get away, moneyb—_ags!_" He jerked forward in surprise as he felt a hand on his ass, eyes opening wide when he realized that, having just opened, the brunet was the only other person in the bar. Thus, it had to be moneybags' hand on his butt. "Wha—hands off, bastard!"

Seto smirked. "Take it off." He watched as the blond fumbled with his hand, amused when he nearly knocked over his glass in the process. "Perhaps you shouldn't drink, mutt. You can't even manage to get my hand off your ass."

"Here ya go!" Cali set the glass down in front of him and smiled. "Enjoy!" Seeing more patrons finally trickling in from the late shifts, she patted the blond on the head. "Ya know where the key is if ya wanna get into my house. Tell me if ya want another drink," she added to the brunet, then moved down the bar to greet the new customers.

Joey growled. "Get yer hand off my ass, Kaiba. 'm not in the mood for this." He squeaked as the brunet gave the cheek under his hand a squeeze and jumped. "Gah! Let go of me, ya prick!" He shivered as the older man leaned over him and licked the shell of his ear. "Kaiba-!"

"While a blowing and banging does sound intriguing, you're a little too drunk for me."

The blond flinched as the CEO nipped his earlobe. "Nyeek!"

"Maybe when you're not so boozed up, we should do that."

Standing abruptly, Seto drained the rest of his glass before placing some money on the bar. "See you when you come help Mokuba with his English, mutt."

Joey shivered and reached up to rub his ear as the other man walked away, telling himself that he was flushed because of the alcohol and not because he was turned on or embarrassed. He looked at the empty glass that had been left behind and bit his bottom lip when he remembered the way the CEO had licked the rim.

"Aw, gone already? He was fun t' talk to…" Cali complained, reaching for the money. She immediately squeaked. "He left a hundred dollars instead of a ten! Joey, go run after him and—"

"That was Seto Kaiba," the blond mumbled. "He meant t' leave that. He always has a purpose for everything he does."

"…If his purpose is excellent service whenever he's here, he shall have my eternal servitude," she promised gleefully. "I just got a ninety-dollar tip!"

"…I think he wants t' have sex with me," Joey added, looking at the red liquid in his glass.

Cali scowled at him. "You're still drunk, Joey. Finish that and go t' bed."

Joey sighed but finished his drink. "I'm only havin' virgin drinks from now on, Cali. That way you'll be able t' tell if I'm lyin' or not."

"Why would that hottie want _you_ when ya look gross after workin' for sixteen hours!" she exclaimed, glaring at him.


	149. Operator: T

Author's Note: I like a Joey that is sexually confident. **:3** Sue me. On another note, WHY ALL THE SEXUAL INNUENDOS IN MY STORIES ALL OF THE SUDDEN, BRAIN?

* * *

Operator

Joey raised an eyebrow as he watched the girl in front of him stumble nervously to her seat. "Mae, how is it that you're the most awkward, most _prude_ person I've ever seen, and yet ya have the raunchiest conversations?"

Mae blushed and put her headset on, glaring at him. "Shut up, Joey. I'm not prude."

"When we were in the break room, ya giggled when Marcus said 'penis,'" he deadpanned.

She shrugged. "It was more because it was Marcus than that someone said 'penis.'"

Joey stared at her a few moments longer, then sighed and shook his head in defeat. "Whatever. Have fun with your customers."

"Oh, yeah, right," she snorted, then turned and flipped on her switchboard. He watched her slump over on the desk and yawn silently before her voice transformed into a husky purr. "Hey, sweetie. Oh, me?" She plucked at her baggy sweatshirt absently. "…A lacy black bra and polka-dot thong."

Joey covered his mouth to muffle a snort; she'd probably never even _looked _at a thong! Chuckling to himself, he began toward his own cubical. He wouldn't say he necessarily _liked_ this job, but it gave him extra money and he was relatively good at it. Sitting in his chair, he sighed and placed his headset on, then leaned his head on his hand as he looked down at his switchboard. He was one of the few men that would take calls from other men, so he usually got a fair amount of calls. Still… sometimes the kinks these guys had creeped him out…

Flipping on the first blinking light he saw, he purred, "Hey there."

"_Hello."_

"Not much of a talker, are ya?" he cooed, trying to make his voice sound as sexy as possible.

"_Not really. …So… what are you wearing?"_

Joey raised an eyebrow and looked down at his jeans and grubby t-shirt, dirty from a tussle with a few gang members on the way to work. "…Red panties and corset with black lace." He heard a moan over the line and rolled his eyes with a sigh. _'This isn't going to be a very long call.'_

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Joey," Mae whispered, peering into his cubicle. "I'm gonna get some coffee. You want one?"

He nodded and waved for her to go get one for him too. "Yeah. What, ya don't like me wearin' panties? I can put on somethin' else…" He jumped as the line was cut abruptly. "…He hung up on me!" He scowled. "I was fuckin' sexy and _he hung up on me._"

His coworker raised her eyebrows at him. "Why do you always say you're wearing women's underwear, anyway?"

Joey turned to face her and smiled. "I just said it for fun one day and the caller really liked it. I started experimentin' with different callers and surprisingly, most of them really like when I'm wearin' panties or ladies' nightgowns." He paused thoughtfully. "…I don't really know why. Maybe they wish they liked women and I'm helpin' with that desire?"

She stared at him in a way that clearly said 'bullshit.'

The blond shrugged. "Also, I look fabulous in a thong."

Mae gaped at him for a moment, then blushed and began to giggle as she turned and scampered away.

Joey stared after her, wondering how she could tell someone that she was taking their dick in her hand in a voice that even he admitted sounded sexy and still blush and giggle when he talked about thongs.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"_So, what are you wearing?"_

Joey sighed and leaned back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head idly as he rested his feet on the desk. Why was that the beginning to so many of these calls? "Well, I've got—" He hesitated a minute. Something had been… off about this caller. "…I've got a pair of hot pants and a slinky tank top on. Oh, one of my straps fell down. I should probably wear a smaller shirt…"

"_Oh. That's sexy, I guess."_

Hearing the voice again, he realized what had been wrong earlier. He stood and slammed his hands down on the desk angrily. "How old are you?"

The caller sounded startled, obviously not having planned on being caught. _"Uh, uh, I'm… Uh…"_

Another voice came on the line, muffled as if from a distance. _"Mokuba, who the hell are you talking to?"_

THAT'S WHY HIS VOICE SEEMED FAMILIAR.

Joey's mouth fell open in horror. Innocent little Mokuba was calling a sex hotline! He heard the phone being shuffled around as if in a scuffle before the other gruff voice became much louder. _"Who is this?"_

The blond opened his mouth to reply, but then an idea struck him, and he had to smirk. "So… What are ya wearin'?"

Seto sounded confused. _"…Slacks and a polo?"_

Joey hummed quietly and purred, "That sounds _sexy._"

The brunet seemed to realize after a short moment just who he was talking to and roared, _"MOKUBA, WHAT THE HELL!"_

"_I'M SORRY I WAS JUST CURIOUS!"_

Joey flinched a little as the phone clicked loudly in his ear, but then he couldn't help but laugh loudly. Mokuba was in _so_ much trouble! Not to mention that he'd heard embarrassment in the CEO's voice!

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey raised an eyebrow as he found Seto standing outside an arcade looking more than just a little pissed. He wondered how Mokuba had twisted his arm to get in there, since he'd learned the younger boy had been grounded for the rest of his life and it had only been a few days since the call.

Perhaps that's why the brunet looked so pissed.

Remembering how embarrassed the CEO had sounded when he'd said his slacks and polo were sexy, the blond smirked and approached the older boy. "Hey, Kaiba."

The brunet was already irritable. "What do you want, mutt?"

"Hmm…" Instead of getting angry, the younger boy went up on his toes to whisper in his ear. "So… what are ya wearin'?"

Seto's expression went blank. The blond could almost _see _his brain processing the information he'd gotten as if it was a computer. It took a few moments, but eventually the CEO choked and pointed at him, outraged. "YOU!"

Joey grinned maliciously. "Me!"

"Why would you—what were you—WHY!" the CEO roared, cheeks turning pink in either embarrassment or anger.

The blond purred. "Kaiba, who knew you were so _desperate?_"

Seto roared again. "YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT I WASN'T THE ONE WHO CALLED YOU!"

Joey's teeth were exposed in a menacing grin. "I know."

"Mutt if you even try to use this against me—" Seto began angrily, only to pause when he saw the blond pulling a pen from his pocket. He stared blankly as the younger boy grabbed his hand and carefully wrote a number on his hand. Yanking his hand away from the blond, he examined the number, then glared at him. "What the hell is this?"

The blond purred again. "My cell phone number. You know… just in case." He smiled darkly. "I don't charge by the minute, Kaiba."

Seto stared at him for a moment before his lips curved into a smirk. "I see. I'll keep that in mind." He glanced the blond up and down, then purred, "So what'll you be wearing, puppy?"

"Probably just a little less than I'm wearing now." Seeing the confused expression that flitted across the brunet's face, Joey leaned back and pulled down the hem of his pants at his hip just enough to show off the string of a black thong. "'course I can always change into somethin' else…"

Seto stared at the strap of the thong and hissed quietly. "Shit. Oh. God."

Joey chuckled and turned on his heel to walk away. Once he'd gotten a few yards away, however, his phone began to vibrate. Answering it confusion, he asked, "Hello?"

"_How about dinner?"_

The blond turned sharply and giggled a little when he saw Seto smirk at him, phone still held to his ear. "Where?"

"_Where do you want to eat?"_

"…How 'bout we eat in and I make ya somethin'?"

"_My place then."_

At that moment, Mokuba came out of the arcade, not looking a bit sorry about what he'd done earlier. He looked at his brother for a moment, then turned to see what his brother was looking at. When he saw it was Joey and that they were both on the phone, talking to _each other,_ he scowled. "What the hell? You're right next to each other, can't you just talk?"

Seto shot him a short glare but before he could say anything, Joey purred, "How would ya like it if I showed up at your house in hot pants and a slinky tank top?"

The younger boy stared at him blankly for a while, much like his older brother had. When he realized what the blond was suggesting, however, his face turned tomato red, a shrill shriek escaped his throat, and he immediately escaped into the limo nearby.

Seto snorted. "That was somehow more satisfying than grounding him."

"Be ready at six o'clock then," Joey said, still in his sexy purr, and was amused at the way the brunet swallowed thickly. "I'll be there at four-thirty t' start cookin', so be ready at six."

"As long as you're still wearing this—" Seto reached out to snap the strap against the blond's hip. "I'll show up anywhere at any time. …I'm sure the food will be good too."

The younger boy chuckled. "You bet your ass. But, uh…" He glanced the brunet up and down and raised his eyebrows. "What are _you_ gonna be wearin'?"


	150. ChapStick and Lip Gloss:T

Author's Note: What is this mind-crack? I don't even… *sigh*

* * *

Chap-Stick and Lip Gloss

"—And if you would please stop challenging me to duels, mutt, I'd really—What are you looking at?" Seto asked sharply, because the blond was looking at him but he wasn't looking at him at the same time. It was unnerving and he much preferred when Joey was glaring at him and yapping like the little dog he was.

Joey glanced up to meet his eyes, surprised, then shook off whatever stupor he'd been in. "Huh?"

Seto didn't even like repeating himself to Mokuba (which is why the younger boy always made an effort to pause his videogames when he could if he heard his brother start speaking), so he did not appreciate that a loser dog had ignored him, especially since he'd really outdone himself insulting him this time. So, he glared the most venomous glare he had (weaker men had gone to the hospital with a mysterious case of food poisoning after such glares, so it was lucky that Joey was either too stupid to be scared or that he was a goat instead of a dog because he could probably eat a dozen tin cans and be fine) and hissed, "Did you hear _anything _I just said?"

"…Blah blah blah loser dog idiocy duels mutt blah blah blah."

Seto felt his blood pressure skyrocket (not for the first time when dealing with Joey, and he wondered if seeking him out was worth the hypertension). "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU LOOKING AT AND WHY WEREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME?" he roared angrily.

Joey paused. He'd never seen the CEO so outraged, and he kind of liked knowing that he was probably the only one that evoked such reactions besides Mokuba and the brunet's mortal enemies. He tilted his head despite knowing he looked somewhat like a puppy when he did it and pondered telling the dragon-psycho that he was looking at his lips and wondering what sort of chap-stick he used. He didn't think Seto would appreciate it.

The brunet kept himself from roaring again. Barely. Glaring at the blond, he repeated, "Why weren't you listening to me, mutt?"

"…Chap-stick." Joey shrugged awkwardly at the flabbergasted expression on the brunet's face, flinching a little when he sensed his friends' confusion as well. He really should learn to focus, but the doctor he went to (cheap and sort of sleazy, but he needed a cheap doctor) had suggested medication, and he didn't understand why he would need pills just because he had a short attention span.

Seto scowled and ground out, "What about it?"

"…Nothin'."

The CEO let out a roar of frustration. "YOU ARE THE MOST INCORRIGIBLE—"

Deciding to throw caution to the wind like he usually did, Joey shrugged again and grabbed the brunet by the shoulders to force him to lean down.

Seto was again shocked into silence when he felt the blond's mouth covering his own and, when the younger boy leaned back, he continued to gape at him. "…Wha…"

"…Minty." Joey tilted his head thoughtfully, frowning. "It sort of burns. But you'd like that, wouldn't ya, ya sadistic freak…"

The brunet stared at him a moment longer before his eyes darkened and his hands gripped into fists so tight that his already pale knuckles turned white. "YOU—WHA—I—JUST—MOKUBA, CALL MY LAWYERS. I AM GOING TO BEAT WHEELER TO DEATH."

Joey blanched as the older boy took a step toward him and immediately turned tail and ran. "Gah!"

Mokuba, Yugi, Tristan, and Téa watched them go, mostly shocked. Finally, though, Téa muttered, "I could have told him what kind of chap-stick it was. I suggested it for him when I noticed his lips were chapped."

Mokuba looked up at her in surprise. "You mean Seto actually took your advice?"

Yugi beamed at her. "He's starting to accept our friendship?"

Tristan raised an eyebrow. "Why would he listen to _you?_"

She laughed and rubbed the back of her head, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Actually, when I pointed it out to him, he told me to shut up and mind my own business, so I just grabbed the closest chap-stick in the store and threw it at his head. When he threatened to press charges for assault, I said he wouldn't be able to because he'd be dead." When the three boys stared at her in horror, she frowned. "If it'll make the situation easier to understand, I was at the store for chocolate and Midol."

Tristan and Mokuba immediately paled. Yugi blinked up at her innocently. "My mom takes Midol when she's feeling sick. Were you feeling sick that day, too, Téa? Why were you out of bed then?"

Téa sighed and patted him on the head. "Oh, Yugi. I'll tell you when you're older."

.-.-.-.-.-.

When Joey came limping into the game shop a few hours later and Tristan commented on how Seto really had wanted to kill him, Joey just blushed and muttered, "Yeah… kill me… Heh…"

Téa stared at him for a moment, then smirked. "You're wearing lip gloss, Joey."

"…He was… rubbin' it in my face?" the blond suggested, blush growing darker.

"…It's pink."

"I'M GOIN' HOME NOW I'LL SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW!" he snapped in embarrassment, too humiliated to explain that Seto had not only bought the lip gloss while Joey was tied up on the floor of his limo, but had also applied it and helped him get the excess off by mauling him. He didn't think he could ever kiss a girl wearing lip gloss in good conscience again.

Hell, he didn't think he could kiss anyone in good conscience again. Seto was a good kisser.

As the blond limped haughtily out of the shop (Téa was jealous of how he could still be haughty even though he was clearly injured), their lone female friend sighed. "I'll go apologize and make him come back inside."

"I don't see why you should. You only stated the truth. He was wearing pink lip gloss," Tristan muttered.

Téa rolled her eyes. "I hurt his manly pride. I just—" She stopped, eyes widening as she watched her blond friend pause beside a limo that had just pulled up outside the game (not knowing that the same limo had dropped him off). She watched Seto open the door, get out, say a few words to the blond, and then lift him and throw him into the car. "…Uh… Someone just picked him up, so I'll apologize later…"

Yugi frowned. "Who would be picking him up?"

"…I'll tell you guys later," she muttered, eye twitching slightly.


	151. Camaraderie: K Plus

Author's Note: CHARACTER STUDIES. I LIKE THEM. No puppyshipping, but I liked a lot of what I did here. **:)**

* * *

Camaraderie

Bakura grumbled as the doorbell rang and shoved his head under a pillow. It was past midnight; he knew, because he'd snuck in at just past one. After a few minutes, he relaxed.

His relaxation was shot to hell when the doorbell rang again.

Sighing in frustration, the thief trudged to the front door to save whatever unfortunate person was there from Ryou's wrath. The little bunny was actually surprisingly violent when his sleep patterns were interrupted. Pulling the door open, he opened his mouth to bitch the offender out, only to cut himself off. "…Mutt?"

Joey fidgeted, tugging his jacket around him tighter, before mumbling, "Got kicked outta m' house. …'nd someone's already in m' box."

Bakura blinked at him for a few moments, trying to comprehend what he'd just been told, before sighing and stepping aside. "Come inside."

The blond made his way inside and came to a stop just inside the doorway, looking uncomfortable and out of place. "…Thanks."

"Couch is over there," the thief grumbled, pointing in its vague direction, then went over to the linen closet.

After grabbing a thick blanket, he walked back to the couch, then felt his heart break a little when he saw the blond already curled up in a ball at the corner of the couch, pressed against the back of it and trembling a little as he used his jacket as a blanket. Bakura sighed quietly, then tucked the blanket around him securely. He made a second trip to the linen closet for a couple more blankets, covering him more, then went back to bed.

He had no doubt that Joey would be gone in the morning and this would all seem like some sort of surreal dream. The blankets would be folded and put away, any scuffs on the floor from his muddy shoes clean, and there was even the small chance that he'd do the dishes sitting in the sink as payment for a place to stay for the night. He knew how bad it felt having to beg for shelter from other people; it was not a good feeling.

He'd always felt a sense of camaraderie with the mutt. No one else knew how it felt to wander the streets because they _had_ to. No one else knew how it felt to eat what they could because they didn't know where their next meal might come from. And no one else knew how hard it was to keep it a secret. Contrary to what most believed, it wasn't the awkward smiles or the smell of an unwashed body or the rumpled clothes that gave it away; it was the shame that came off in waves.

None of their stupid little group had ever seen shame at its worst, so they couldn't recognize it, but Bakura had no problem seeing how miserable and afraid Joey looked after a night sleeping in 'his box.' And he wasn't miserable or afraid because he slept in a box on the streets; he wasn't even afraid or miserable at the thought of his friends finding out. He was terrified by the looks of shock and pity he'd receive, which would make him so despondent and ashamed that he wouldn't want anyone to see him again.

He understood that, so he simply allowed him a place to stay where he could be warm without a word. He was certain that if Ryou knew, he'd welcome him with open arms.

But he wouldn't do that to Joey, so he'd keep Ryou preoccupied until he was sure that Joey was gone and continue to allow the blond a secret and safe place.

No judging. No blackmail. Not even a knowing smirk when they hung out and he wanted the blond's vote for something. Just quiet understanding from someone else who had been in that place before. He wished he'd had someone to do that for him.

Bakura sat up and leaned his arms on his knees, frowning. He thought the future was supposed to make everything better, so why was there all this fucking poverty still? Why were men allowed to gamble all of their money away instead of providing for their families? Why were women allowed to leave their husbands without all of the children? Why were poor children forced to put up with this shit?

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey blinked his eyes open slowly, then stiffened as he sensed someone sitting next to him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched, terrified.

Bakura snorted. "Easy, mutt."

The blond flinched again. "Oh. Um-!" He sat up quickly. "Is Ryou awake? I thought I'd be awake before—" he began, but cut himself off as the thief pulled him into a hug. _'…THE FUCK.'_

Bakura held him tightly, frowning. "I'm sorry. The future was supposed to be better, but it isn't. And I'm sorry."

Joey blinked as the other boy released him and stood, walking away as if nothing happened. _'What… What…? What…!'_

Bakura turned to look back at him from the doorway. "Ryou won't be up for a while. It's Saturday and he likes to sleep in. Go back to sleep. I'll keep him busy and make some noise if he wakes up before you so you have time to get your shit together and go."

The blond blinked again. "Okay." He stared as the other boy flashed him a smirk before disappearing back into his room. _'…The fuck did I just witness?'_ He wondered if he should leave, just in case the thief had actually gone crazy, but the wind was blowing quite hard and he didn't really want to be out in the dark and cold, so he simply chalked it up to Bakura being Bakura and went back to sleep.

The blankets were folded and put away the next morning, the dishes were done, and Bakura was praised for making fresh orange juice and pancakes for breakfast instead of making Ryou do it.


	152. Thunk: K

Author's Note: Why yes, this is exactly how I woke up from falling asleep in my History class. **:|**

* * *

Thunk

Joey ran a hand through his hair and sighed, brows furrowing together in frustration. Téa and Kaiba were already finished with their tests (no surprise, considering Kaiba had probably known this math for years and Téa just happened to be good at school), so he hadn't really felt _too_ much pressure. But then the rest of the class began filing up to turn in their tests. They were allowed to use the entire period, but Joey felt so self-conscious that he just wanted to scrap the rest of the test and turn it in now.

He looked up at the teacher to see if she was getting as impatient as the rest of his classmates. If she was, he'd just take the failing grade, because a bunch of the other students were getting antsy and he didn't want to be made fun of that much.

His eyes widened as he saw that the teacher's eyes were closed, jaw slack. He couldn't help but stiffen as he watched her head fall forward as if in slow motion.

_**THUNK**_

"GAAAAH!" She sat up and grabbed her forehead, eyes squeezed shut in pain rather than sleep.

The rest of the class looked at her in surprise. Apparently, Joey had been the only one looking at her and not the clock.

The teacher bit her bottom lip and hissed, rubbing her forehead roughly, then looked up at the class. She seemed relieved until her gaze reached Joey's. She paled, blushed, opened her mouth, closed it, then coughed awkwardly. "Is everyone finished with the test?"

Joey's 'no' was drowned out by the large number of 'YES CAN WE GO NOW's. He sighed and began packing his things up, then trudged to the desk after the rest of the room had cleared out. "Here, miss."

"Are you finished?" she asked, still rubbing her forehead and grimacing.

The blond shrugged. "Was gonna fail anyway."

"You have a free period after lunch, don't you? You can come in and finish it then while I grade the others."

"Yeah, okay. Not like I have anything else t' do." Joey sighed.

"Good, I'll expect you then. …Um… Joey? Could you not tell anyone what you saw, please?" she asked awkwardly.

The blond tilted his head. He'd always liked this teacher. She was nice. She let him have extra time for his tests. So, he smiled and turned to walk away. "I don't know what you're talkin' about 'cause I didn't see nothin'." He thought he heard a quiet 'thank you' as he walked out of class, but he really wasn't looking for thanks after she'd just offered him more time for his test, so he pretended not to hear it.


	153. Apology Unaccepted: K

Author's Note: Character studiiiieeesss! Have I mentioned yet how much I love them? **:3**

I know everyone hates on Joey and Serenity's mother (I know, I am a repeat offender of this), so I decided I'd take a different approach. I'm quite pleased with it.

* * *

Apology Unaccepted

Joey frowned and turned his cup in his hands a few times awkwardly. "So, uh, what'd ya wanna talk t' me about, Ma?"

The woman in front of him looked a lot older than he remembered, but he hadn't really actually spent time with her for several years, even when he'd visited his sister in the hospital and she'd been there. Short of terse and to-the-point conversations, he hadn't really had much to say to her, either. That was mostly out of awkwardness, though, and had shown when they both opened their mouths to speak, paused, tried again, then chuckled nervously and looked away.

…She had wrinkles around her mouth and in the corners of her eyes, and she looked quite tired. He recalled her looking just as tired at the hospital. Having Serenity's eyesight at risk had clearly taken quite a toll on her that she hadn't completely recovered from.

Joey smiled awkwardly as his mother took a deep breath, wondering if she was going to drop a bomb of some sort on him.

"I… Do you hate me, Joey?"

Whatever he'd been expecting, Joey decided, that was definitely _not it._ "Wha-? No, Ma, I don't hate ya. Why would I ever hate ya?"

She frowned. "For leaving you with your father when I left. For leaving you with that… that monster."

The blond frowned and tilted his head. "Ma. I know ya couldn't afford t' take me. I heard it all from Dad, how he shoulda let ya take me instead of keepin' me. Ya couldn't afford a lawyer t' get me. Ya just needed t' get away. I mean, I was angry at first, but I eventually realized how long ya must've saved just to be able t' get out with you and Ren. Dad was gettin' bad by then. I didn't want ya there t' experience that, anyway."

His mother tilted her head and sighed, brows furrowing together. "Still, I left you with that man, knowing he might escalate from words to physical violence. I'm so sorry for that, Joey."

Joey stared at her for a few moments. Is that why she'd asked to meet him? To… apologize? "…No."

She blinked at him. "What?"

"I said… no. I don't want your apology. I don't need it. If you hadn't left me with Dad, I wouldn't have met Tristan or Yugi or all of my other friends, and they're like the family Dad wasn't and the family you couldn't be," Joey explained, feeling badly because he was obviously hurting his mother but at the same time feeling good because he needed to get his feelings out, as that was clearly what she was here for. "I know ya had t' leave t' protect yourself and Serenity. I'm glad ya took her. I'm fine.

"Look at the man I've grown up to be, Ma. I paid for my sister's eye surgery and I'm tops in a lot of Dueling tournaments. Hell, I'm even head-baker at the bakery I work at and I still deliver newspapers to make extra money on top of that. I may act like a street punk but workin' like I have t' take care of myself—and Dad, too, I guess—has really shaped who I am. I wouldn't change that for the world. If ya haven't noticed, I'm a pretty awesome guy," he finished, smiling a little.

His mother sniffed and lifted a hand to wipe away the tears forming in her eyes. "I see. So you wouldn't like to move in with Serenity and me?" she asked, looking back up at him.

Joey blinked in surprise, then smiled again. "Ma. After what I just told ya."

"I figured as much. I've been trying to save up enough to support you, and just when I do, you prove you're a man that doesn't need to be taken care of." She sighed. "I'm sorry—" When he raised his eyebrow at her, she laughed quietly. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Joey—Oh!" Her laugh grew a little bit louder.

The blond chuckled as well and leaned his head on his hand. "'s okay, Ma. Put that money toward Serenity's college. If ya give it t' me, I'll just waste it on children's card games," he teased, making her laugh some more. "You can think about the 'what if's all the time, Ma, but don't you ever regret leavin' me behind. Look how well I turned out."

"I see. Well… if you won't move in with us, can we at least perhaps agree to meet up regularly? Serenity misses you a lot, too…" She paused, looking uncertain. "We can't afford to come Domino every other week, but perhaps—I could send for you once a month to come spend the weekend with us?" Her lips curved into a frown that looked quite awkward to him. "It's not that I wouldn't mind coming down here, but paying for you round trip rather than the two of us…"

"Yeah, sure, Ma. I don't mind." He knew it was probably more than that. She'd been glancing around frequently before they'd begun speaking. He was certain that she was terrified of seeing her ex-husband even with his assurances that his father only left the apartment to barhop. "If ya have room for me, I won't mind."

She smiled. "Oh, of course. Serenity will be so happy."

"Yeah, I'm sure she will. Thanks, Ma. I'm glad we had this talk." Joey reached over to grab her hand and smiled. "We shoulda had it a long time ago. But I guess it's true when they say 'better late than never.'"


	154. Mirror: K Plus

Author's Note: I'm in a weird mood. Enjoy!

* * *

Mirror

Seto walked into the mansion and set his briefcase down, slipped his shoes off, and let the maid take his coat. "Cynthia, I don't know how to make you understand that if I'm not back by ten o'clock, you don't have to wait for me."

"Yes, sir," she replied, but they both knew that she'd stay up until the wee hours of the morning to welcome him home anyway.

He sighed and made his way up to his room, frowning and rubbing the back of his neck. All he wanted to do was go to sleep, but he knew that if he didn't take a shower to try and relax his tense muscles, he'd wake up the next day so stiff that Joey would have to roll him out of bed. His frown faded a little at the thought of his lover, but didn't leave his face completely. Today had been an incredibly bad day.

Slipping into his bedroom, he shed his clothes near the clothes basket (he couldn't tell where exactly it was in the dark, but he'd put them in there in the morning after he woke up, when there was more light), then made his way into the large bathroom. He flinched as the door slammed and cursed as he saw the window open. Joey always left it opened after a shower in the hotter months, to dry the room out faster, but he usually showered in the morning before work. He must have taken a shower when he got home, too.

"Damn it. Damn it. Damn it," he hissed, putting his ear to the door. When he didn't hear the blond stirring on the other side, he sighed in relief, then stepped into the shower and let the hot water pound into his skin, hoping it would relax his tense muscles enough that he wouldn't wake up feeling he'd just run a triathlon.

As a force of habit, he went over his day again and cursed when his relaxing body went rigid again. Meetings with investors, yelling at employees who had the nerve to yell back at him, firing those employees, realizing he'd have to hire more, being scolded by his secretary, almost firing her but not because she appeased him with a stupid sandwich.

Seto remembered some of the names his employees had called him and sighed, frowning. Well, the shower had been a bust. He soaped himself, washed his hair, then reached out for a towel on the heating rack and wrapped it around his waist. He grabbed another towel to dry his hair, pausing when he glanced in the mirror.

He looked tired. He looked… old. Much older than his twenty-three years. He needed a vacation, badly.

But he couldn't, because he needed to hire new employees and make sure they were on track with everyone else on the projects, since the employees he'd fired were the project leaders.

He turned to face the mirror and placed his hands on the counter, one hand clenching the marble while the other rested on top, gripping the towel with white knuckles. He stared at his reflection a few minutes, then scowled, even as a cool breeze from the window blew past him and made him shiver.

"Seto Kaiba, you're an arrogant asshole," he said, repeating the words his employees had flung at him and trying to convince himself that it didn't hurt. "You care about no one but yourself, not even your little brother. You're a heartless monster. Anyone that wants to be near you is clearly delusional and will have their hearts ripped out and stepped on. The only reason you have people around you is because you have money and they want it, not because they care about you."

His knuckles paled further as he bit his bottom lip, feeling angry and sad and pathetic. He must really be an awful person if several people believed that about him.

Seto's breath hitched as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and turned his head, hands trembling because of how tight they were clenched.

Joey nuzzled his back gently. "You're not arrogant. You're proud. There's nothin' wrong with bein' proud of what ya are and what ya have. And you're an asshole because assholes get results. If you were everybody's friend, they'd slack off. Ya know they would."

Seto tilted his head and sighed as he looked down at the counter, slowly releasing his grip on it. "I know."

"And ya know that I don't stick around 'cause of the money. I stick around 'cause of you. Why would I need money when I've gotten by just fine on minimum wage? And Mokie could be happy livin' in a box as long as you were there with him."

Seto couldn't help the smallest of smiles at the mental image of him and Mokuba living in a box. He knew that as long as they were together, Mokuba would make do and be happy in any situation. "I know."

"And ya care about a lot of things. Ya just don't let anyone see it in case they could twist it and put it in the papers. Ya don't mind bein' dragged through the mud but you'd hate it if anyone or anything ya cared about was dragged through it with ya. Ya care so much about us that ya can't stand t' see us hurt."

The brunet tilted his head and sighed, smile growing. "I know."

Joey made him turn to face him and hugged him again, laying his head on his chest. "And I know you're not heartless, 'cause your heartbeat is what I usually fall asleep to."

Seto tilted his head back as he wrapped his arms around the blond, the angry tears that had formed as he glared at himself fading as he gave the younger boy a squeeze. "I know." He tilted his head forward and buried his nose in the blond's hair, humming quietly when he realized Joey had used his shampoo. He always loved when he did that—that little obsessive part of him always gleefully reaffirming _mine!_

"…Ya woke me up when the door slammed and I couldn't get back to sleep," Joey whispered, tilting his head up to look at him tiredly but happily. "I was waitin' for ya t' come t' bed, but when the water stopped and ya didn't immediately come out, I knew somethin' was goin' on. Ya want me t' look up your employees tomorrow, huh?"

Seto hummed again thoughtfully. Had it been earlier in their relationship, he would have said yes in a heartbeat, just because Joey could make excellent threats when he was angry. Now that he knew that when Joey asked to look someone up, it meant beating the person being looked up into a bloody pulp, he usually just stroked Joey's ego by imagining what would happen and pretending to think about it.

"…No, I don't think that's necessary." He sniffed the blond's hair again, smiling, then tilted his head a little to gently kiss him on the neck. "I'm sorry I woke you. Let's get you back in bed then."

Joey nipped his chest and smiled back. "'s long as you come too, so I can fall asleep t' your heartbeat. It's such a nice sound."

"I would hope so. It means I'm still alive," Seto teased, letting the blond take his hand and lead him out of the bathroom. He paused to turn off the light and glanced back at the mirror.

Joey tugged him into a kiss and flicked the light off before he could actually look at it. Then, he pulled him over to the bed, only letting go of him so the brunet could put on some pajamas. Once the brunet was settled beside him, he laid his head on his chest again and sighed.

"…Should look 'em up anyway, sayin' all those mean things about you."

"Joey, I am snuggled up and comfortable with you. Can't you just be happy with them being wrong?" Seto chuckled a little. "It's fine. I just won't give them glowing reviews. I mean, what kind of idiots call the person writing their reference letters terrible names? They could get their teammates to write reference letters, I suppose, but they'll probably mention why these people were fired in the first place."

"…Yeah, I guess so," the blond muttered. "Could at least lemme punch 'em, though."

"How about I take you and Mokuba out to dinner tomorrow instead?"

"…I suppose that'll do," Joey mumbled, kissing his chest gently before snuggling closer. "'s long as it's good."

Seto began to think about all of the nice restaurants that the younger boy could consider good, but then he caught sight of their reflections in the mirror of the armoire across the room.

Joey looked so peaceful and happy in his arms, just content to be sleeping with him. So, sighing, he relaxed his body, leaned down to kiss the blond's forehead, and finally let his eyes drift closed.

The last reflection he saw in the mirror, just before his eyes closed for the night and he woke up the next morning, was so incredibly endearing that he forgot everything he'd told himself in the bathroom, because if he was that terrible of a person, Joey wouldn't be snuggled up to him as happily as he was.


	155. Platinum: T

Author's Note: I wanted this to be character study-ish and Joey-centric. …And then it became character study-ish Seto-centric. WHAT. HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN.

AND WHERE DID THIS HUMOR COME FROM.

* * *

Platinum

Seto swallowed thickly. He knew he probably looked paler than he usually did. He knew he probably looked a little unnerved, which he hated. He also knew that, unfortunately, with the look he was being given, he would never quite be able to keep up the cool, uncaring façade he usually met Joey's idiocy with.

Joey tilted his head, blinking slowly, but the spell was not broken. Seto watched the color of his eyes tint in the light as his head moved. Brown. Caramel. Amber. Honey.

Brown like the earth.

_I've beaten people into the ground without a second thought._

Sweet caramel that children could often be seen snacking on.

_I've taken lots of children out for ice-cream while their parents fought or were pimped out or shot up with drugs._

Amber, cold as stone.

_I've shoved everyone away before and am perfectly capable of shoving them away again without any regrets._

Honey laced with poison.

_I could kill you right now if I really wanted to._

A smile, chilly and thin and at the same time very sad.

_Who would stop me? I don't think anyone can._

"…Kaiba? Joey?"

Seto watched the blond's face spread into a goofy smile, eyes dimming with forced joy as he turned to look at his friend. "Heya, Yug'!"

It was gone as quickly as it had been there. But he saw it there, under the surface, the dangerousness that he had underestimated in the blond. Even covered with a smile that slowly became more genuine the longer Yugi stood next to him, he could see the different hues of danger and coldness and cruelty that he either hadn't had the time to see before or had just ignored because he'd deemed the blond stupid.

"…Kaiba?" Yugi questioned again, frowning.

Seto jerked his gaze to him quickly, blinking, then swallowed thickly. "What?"

"…Can I help you with anything?"

The brunet stared. What had he come here for? A duel? That didn't seem right. It wasn't because he'd happened to see Joey and wanted to sneer at him, either. What the _hell_ had he come in there for?

Joey and Yugi glanced at each other in confusion but waited silently to see what he'd say.

Seto turned to walk away without a word, but then his eyes caught sight of a roll of wrapping paper and it hit him. He turned back to Yugi and stated, "I need a present for Mokuba."

Yugi smiled awkwardly. "We have lots of games that could be presents." When the brunet only stared at him, he glanced away nervously. "Um… Kaiba, do you know what you want to get your brother?"

"Something shiny that will keep him entertained."

The two younger boys stared at him.

"…He's like a crow."

"…"

"Please just pick something for me. I already got him the new videogame he's been wanting. Now he wants something to show how much I care about him by coming into your store." Seto sighed tiredly. "I just want to go home, give it to him, have a slice of cake, and go to bed."

"It's four in the afternoon…" Joey muttered, raising an eyebrow.

"I've been up since three this morning."

Yugi stared at him a little longer, then smiled brightly. "How about a pack of Capsule Monsters? Does he still play with those?"

Seto blinked. _Did_ Mokuba still play with those? He hadn't seen him play with them for a long time. "…I don't think so. …But he might still collect them."

"How about the Platinum Edition of 'em?" Joey suggested after an awkward pause. "Those 're shiny."

"I will take all of them."

Yugi and Joey stared.

Seto frowned. "…Half of them?"

More stares.

"…A quarter?"

When the two younger teens continued to stare at him, he pondered what he could possibly have said that seemed so shocking. He was a billionaire. Purchasing a few trinkets to show his brother he cared enough to walk into his rival's shop was not entirely bizarre.

"…There are _a hundred_ separate Platinum Edition Capsule Monsters," Yugi explained after a minute. "Each of them as high as thirty dollars. –The limited edition ones are pushing sixty!"

Seto blinked again. He wondered why that seemed to be a problem. "Do you take checks?"

Yugi opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Joey gaped. "The limited editions would be six hundred on their own-!"

"…I have a few credit cards too, if you don't." The brunet paused for some quick mental calculations. "And if there are a hundred figures and the limited editions are six hundred, that means there are ninety figures for thirty, so twenty-seven hundred… With a total of thirty-three hundred if I get the limited editions… I think I have a two thousand limit per day on the card I use the most. Can we separate the bill on two different credit cards?"

Yugi opened his mouth again, closed it, opened it again, then swooned and fell back in a dead faint.

Seto frowned in concern. "So I'd have to buy half of them today and use my card again tomorrow?"

Joey threw his hands up. "God you're psychotic!"

"…I'd prefer to pay it all in one go. Are you sure he doesn't accept checks?"

The blond looked up at the ceiling, as if begging the universe for an answer as to why he was stuck dealing with the psychotic and stupid bastard.

Finally, though, he sighed and looked back at the brunet. "Yes. The Turtle Game Shop accepts checks."

"I see. Do you giftwrap as well?"

"…Not for one hundred Capsule Monsters."

Seto nodded, as if it made perfect sense. "I see." He walked over to the giftwraps, grabbed a bow, and walked back to the counter. "It'd like to purchase this as well then."

Joey's eye twitched. He wasn't offended, though; he knew that some people like Kaiba were wealthy and he figured it would be better to spend it than to just let it sit around and gather dust. He just couldn't believe the brunet's reasoning. Mokuba apparently only needed a small gift, a token to prove he'd come into the shop and been civil, and he was dropping thirty-three hundred dollars on a set of Capsule Monsters that the runt might never even use.

He'd always known that Kaiba wasn't all there.

"…It'll take me some time t' ring up your purchase," Joey began, walking around the counter and squatting to lean his friend into a sitting position.

"How much is the bow?"

"…Two-fifty, I guess—"

"I'll just write the check for three thousand, four hundred, and you can send me a bill if I owe more," Seto cut in, whipping out his checkbook.

Joey stared. "…What if ya pay us too much?"

The brunet tilted his head, as if baffled by the idea. "Too much?"

"…Yeah. Too much."

"…Keep it, I suppose. If Yugi has a concussion after his fall, put it toward his medical bills and then bill me for the rest."

Joey could not even begin to comprehend the brunet's madness. "Uh. …Okay." He stared at the brunet for a few more seconds, then walked into the back room to just grab a few cases of the Platinum Edition, making sure the numbers weren't repeats so he had all one hundred of them. He carried the cases out to the shop and stared as he watched the brunet blow on his check to dry the ink. "…God."

"I don't suppose you'll carry those to the car?" When the blond only continued to stare at him, Seto hummed. "Yes, I guess that was too much."

Joey would have been happy to take them to anyone else's car, but Kaiba was truly creeping him the fuck out. He set the cases on the counter. "Yeah."

The brunet tore the paper off of the bow and slammed it onto the top of one of the cases, then lifted them up easily and turned to walk out of the store. "Until my next duel with Yugi then, mutt."

"…Yeah."

Joey watched him pack the cases in the trunk of his red sports car and then get in himself and immediately slam on the gas. He wondered if the brunet had even paused to put on his seatbelt.

What a fucking freak.

Yugi moaned and lifted a hand to rub his eyes. "I just had the weirdest dream, Joey." He stood. "I dreamt that Kaiba came here and ordered all one hundred of the Platinum Edition of Capsule Monsters including the ten Special Edition Platinum."

Joey bit his bottom lip as the smaller boy caught sight of the check on the counter. "Uh. Yeah. …Not a dream."

Yugi stared at the check for several more minutes before he turned and sat down on the ground again. "I don't even want to deal with this right now."

The blond sighed. "Yeah, I know that feelin'."


	156. Jetpack: K

Author's Note: Where do I even get these ideas.

* * *

Jetpack

Seto nuzzled into the blond's neck and sighed, pressing up against him. "Mm…"

Joey hummed and tilted his head so that maybe the older boy would start kissing his neck. "Mm, Seto…"

"Hmm?" Seeing the exposed throat, he began to kiss it gently. "What is it…?"

"How come I never get t' be the big spoon?"

Seto blinked. "…What?"

"How come you always get t' be the big spoon and I always hafta be the little spoon?" Joey repeated.

The brunet sat up a little, frowning. "What are you talking about, big spoon and little spoon?"

It really shouldn't have surprised him that Seto didn't know the term. Still, it made him find the brunet even more adorable. "…When people are cuddlin' and one person's back is up against the other person's front, it's called spoonin'. Ya know, like how spoons press together? Spooning?"

Seto stared at him for a moment, then settled down behind him again. "I see. I suppose that makes some sort of sense." He nuzzled the blond's neck gently. "…Because I like being the big spoon, I guess? Is that a proper answer?"

Joey chuckled. "I guess it is."

"…Would you like to be the big spoon?" Seto asked after a few minutes.

The blond sat up and beamed at him. "Yeah!"

The older boy rolled his eyes and sighed, unable to help a smile at how excited his lover was. He rolled onto his opposite side and hummed as the blond snuggled up against his back. He didn't really like it (he liked holding people; he only liked being held on particularly bad days), but Joey was happy, so he could deal with it. After all, that was what partners did; they shared.

"Whoooooosh!"

Seto frowned, brows furrowing together. "What."

Joey giggled and hooked his leg over the brunet's hip, hugging around his chest tightly. "I'm a jetpack! Whoosh!"

Seto couldn't help a laugh. "What are you doing?"

"…'m flyin' ya around. Whoosh."

"You are so weird." The brunet reached down to grab under his knee and pull his leg up more. "Where are you flying me to?"

"Just around. Where do you wanna go?"

"…Fiji."

Joey laughed. "I don't think I have enough gas."

Seto turned over in his arms and smiled. "I suppose I should feed you so we can get there, then." He leaned in to kiss him lightly. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Spaghetti and meatballs." The blond smiled coyly. "We could Lady and Tramp it."

"I do not need a noodle to be able to kiss you," the older boy stated firmly, and proved it by leaning in to kiss him again.

Joey mewed and pressed closer to him, sighing quietly, then chuckled when the brunet broke the kiss. "Yeah. The food would probably just take away from it. God, you're a good kisser." He leaned in for another kiss and moaned.

Seto broke the kiss again. "Do you want that spaghetti here or in a restaurant?"

"God, just shut up and keep kissing me."

"I'm hungry."

Joey sighed and rolled his eyes, sitting up. "Fine. Well, I don't wanna make meatballs, so let's eat out."

"Okay. I'm going to shower first." Seto smirked and slid his hand over the blond's thigh. "You could always join me."

As soon as he stood, the blond latched onto his back again. "I can fly ya t' the bathroom!"

Seto laughed so hard that he fell down and took Joey down with him. That was okay, though, because Joey was laughing, too.


	157. Pecking Order: T

Author's Note: I'm in one of those mooooods!

* * *

Pecking Order

Téa tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Joey, why don't you try to just… not fight with Kaiba?"

Joey looked up from his sandwich at his friends. "Um… What."

Yugi smiled. "Yeah! Maybe he'd like you if you'd just stay calm and talk like adults!"

Joey stared at the two of them for a moment before standing up angrily. "Are ya tellin' me t' just _not get mad_ when I'm with this guy?"

The two shared anxious glances. "Um… Yes?"

They didn't even have a _chance_ to prepare themselves for the slaps they received—One on Yugi's right cheek, one on Téa's left. As they gaped up at him in shock, the blond snarled.

"Don't you _ever _tell me how I should feel about anything _ever again!_"

Téa scowled. "Joey, just calm do—"

"I AM CALM!" Joey roared, glaring at them, then threw his sandwich on the ground in disgust and turned to storm away.

Tristan thought about following him, then sighed and decided against it. "Well, you guys are stupid." He pulled out the icepack from his lunchbox and handed it to Téa so she could ice her cheek. People would overlook Yugi having a bruised cheek, but a girl? Joey would be suspended for sure.

"…What did we do?" Yugi asked quietly, frowning. "All we wanted was for him to get along with Kaiba…"

"In gangs, there are pecking orders," the brunet explained. "You basically told him he should be lower in the pecking order."

Téa's brows furrowed together in confusion. "Huh?"

Tristan sighed. "You have to fight your way up the pecking order. Telling him to take Kaiba's shit is like telling him that he's not equal to Kaiba. At least when he's yelling and fighting Kaiba, he's on equal footing. –You remember how when we found Joey with Hirutani, he was taking all of that shit from him and didn't say anything? He was lower than Hirutani. If he fought back, Hirutani would have hurt us, yeah, but it also would have caused ripples of fighting in the gang as everyone tried to reassign pecking order. Why do you think Hirutani made him second-in-command? That way, if he did fight, at least the underlings wouldn't."

"…I wish he'd tell us these things instead of just getting mad," Téa sighed, pulling out a pocket mirror. "Dang. I'll tell Mom that Yugi opened his locker too fast and I walked into it."

Yugi looked up at her in affront. "That only happened one time and you didn't even bruise!"

"I'll tell her you've been working out." Téa grimaced and put the icepack back to her cheek. "I can't believe he hit us, though…"

Tristan frowned. "Téa, he hits _me_ all the time. The only difference is I hit him back and I'm not stupid enough to try and change him. I know you guys don't like to see him fighting with other people, but that's just how it is. He was in a gang for several years; you can't just expect him to forget everything he learned there just because he knows you guys. Gangs are just families for people that don't have their own. And Joey didn't."

"Well he could at least tone it down at school; how's he going to get in to college with all those detentions?" Yugi asked, frowning in concern for his friend.

Tristan raised an eyebrow. "Because he's _not._"

Téa and Yugi gasped in surprise. "What?!"

"Why not?!"

"The guy he works for has already offered him a full time job when he graduates and he told me he's going to take it. Face it, guys. Some people just aren't cut out for school and if anyone is one of those people, it's Joey."

"Um."

All three of them looked up, eyes widening when they found Seto standing in front of them, nose dripping blood into his hand, which was carefully cupped under it.

Téa immediately whipped her napkin out to him. "Oh my God, Kaiba, what happened?!"

Despite not wanting to accept any help, he took the napkin anyway, because his hand was filled with blood and he was still bleeding. "I actually came to tell you to check your mutt. He punched me in the face and when I hit him back, he just started laughing. He might have a concussion."

Tristan knew that it wasn't a concussion and that Joey was just glad that even if his friends didn't understand, Kaiba seemed to, at least a little bit. "Probably from that fight we got into on the way to school."

"Yeah, well, then take him to the nurse. It was weird, even for the mutt." Seto frowned, staring at the icepack pressed against Téa's cheek. "Who would dare hit _you?_" He asked because she'd seen her deck Tristan and Joey for panty-tanking her, not because he was particularly offended by women getting hit; he wasn't afraid of her, but he was curious as to who would ever have the balls to tangle with her.

Téa smiled thinly. "Yugi opened his locker door pretty quickly and I walked into it. Tristan was kind enough to lend me his icepack so it wouldn't swell too much."

Yugi rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance but didn't correct her. If that was the story she was using, he'd go with it, just because it was easier.

"…I see." Seto stared at them for a few moments longer, then turned and walked away without another word. It just seemed easier than staying and talking to them.

Tristan sighed and began wrapping up his sandwich. He'd give the rest of it to Joey, since he'd thrown his on the ground and he probably wouldn't get a lot to eat for the rest of the day. "I'll go find him. He's not gonna apologize for hitting you guys, though, so don't expect it. He wasn't wrong; you were."

That statement struck a chord that made the other two pause. It was true, wasn't it? Joey was always so abrasive, and they were always trying to smooth down his rough edges despite telling him how much they liked him as he was. They'd thought that they'd been helping him, trying to make sure he was being the best person he could be.

They didn't realize they were trying to make him the best person he wasn't. Joey was nice, but he could be mean. He was kind, but he could be cruel. He was friendly, but he could be standoffish. He came off as stupid, but he was clever in a worldly way—a way that Téa and Yugi could never hope to be.

And they hadn't realized that they were hurting him when they were trying to help him.

"We should make cookies," Téa commented. Unspoken was the statement, _'We've fucked up.'_

"Probably one as big as his head," Yugi replied. _'But we can fix it.'_

"Chocolate chip maybe?" _'He'll understand, right?'_

"He loves chocolate chip." _'Of course he will.'_

Téa and Yugi shared mild smiles and returned to their food. Now that they knew what they were doing wrong, they could fix it, and hopefully it would just make their friendship stronger.


	158. Cold: K Plus

Author's Note: …I got the idea from a book I read, where the author and her brother had heat wars. That's the only explanation I have. I don't know where I was even going with this one.

* * *

Cold

"Seto?"

Seto hummed quietly, one hand gently stroking the blond's hair while the other held his book open. "Yes?"

Joey tilted his head to look up at him. "'m cold."

Seto paused. He didn't want to get up. He was quite comfortable with Joey leaning back against his chest, and he was just reaching the climax of his book. He looked back down at Joey and sighed when the younger boy's lip began jutting out into a pout. "Alright."

Joey smiled brightly. He'd actually been chilly for the past few weeks, but he'd wanted a series of days of cold weather before he hinted at turning the thermostat up. After all, he didn't pay the heating bill, but he figured that Seto and Mokuba were regular humans too, so they'd need the heat on soon as well.

Seto returned with a large, soft blanket and laid it over the blond, then sat back down and pulled him up against him, returning to his book.

Joey blinked. "…Uh… Seto—"

"If you're still cold, you can put more clothes on," Seto informed him, as if the idea was entirely new and Joey wasn't wearing a long-sleeved shirt with a sweater over it.

The blond stared up at him. "Um… Is the heater broken, or…?"

"I haven't lost the Heater Wars since Gozaburo died and I am not going to start now."

Joey stared at him for a few more moments before scowling. "What."

"Every year, Mokuba and I see how long we can go before one of us has to turn the heat up. So far, I have always won. …I wear those trench coats for a reason." Seto lifted his hand to ruffle the blond's hair. "You'll notice that Mokuba's guests have tapered off recently. If any of his friends or a girlfriend or boyfriend makes him turn the heat up, he loses. If you or any of your friends turn up the heat, _I_ lose. I refuse to lose. So you better put on another pair of socks and some long johns the next time you get up."

Joey gaped up at him, entirely certain that the Kaiba brothers had reached a new level of insane, even for them. They had the money for more heat. They were just doing it to test their limits and make a competition of something stupid.

And he got the sinking feeling that this was going to make him feel terrible, just like most competitions between the brothers did.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey stared as he watched one of the maids place a pot of soup on the table. She was wearing her normal black dress, but under it was a pair of sweat pants and some bright pink leg warmers. She wore fingerless gloves that went all the way up to her elbows, which were covered by a thick sweater. And as she began to walk away, he watched her flip parts of her gloves forward and button them closed to become mittens.

"I like your leg warmers this year, Cami!" Mokuba called after her. "They're really pretty! Did you make them yourself?"

She pulled up the neck of the sweater so it covered most of her face as she turned to look back at him, eyes glittering at the compliment. "Yes I did. Thank you for noticing." She turned and hustled back into the kitchen.

Joey almost wished he could go in there with her, because it was warm from the stove and the oven. He sighed and looked back at his bowl, steam rising from it steadily. He wanted nothing more than to turn the heat up, but he was sure that Seto would shoot through the roof and probably yell at him. He didn't like losing and would probably be quite displeased with him, since Mokuba would lord it over him until the next year (and the next Heater War, apparently).

After a moment, he sighed and picked up his bowl of soup and plate with bread on it. Then he promptly walked into the kitchen where it was at least moderately warmer.

He stared as he found a few maids and the cooks surrounding one of the ovens as if it were a bonfire. They stared back at him, startled.

Joey took a deep breath, sighed, then pulled over a chair and sat down next to them. "I'll probably just take my meals in here for the next few weeks."

Cami smiled at him brightly from beneath her sweater. "Very good, sir."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto raised an eyebrow as he watched Joey pull several more blankets across the bed. "We'll be smothered."

"_I_ will be warm," Joey replied tartly.

"…You're already wearing flannel pajamas…"

The blond looked up at him venomously. "And two pairs of wool socks."

Seto stared at him for a few seconds, then frowned. "Sooo… I should invest in more flannel sheets then?"

"An electric blanket would be nice."

The two engaged in a stare-down then, Joey wondering if he'd have to break his lover's nose and Seto wondering if an electric blanket would be considered cheating. They both knew his will to win was strong—sometimes _too_ strong—and that he would be quite perturbed to lose the battle he was waging with his brother.

Finally, though, Seto took in the weariness of the blond's body and frowned. "I'll look into it."

Which meant that he was going to go out and buy electric blankets for both their bed and Mokuba's, so it wouldn't seem like cheating, but at least Joey would be moderately warm.

Joey sighed in relief. "…Seto."

"Yes."

"…Can't _I_ lose, instead?" he asked tiredly. When the older boy raised his eyebrows in surprise, he sighed again. "I live here now. Can't _I_ turn on the heat and lose, instead of you losin' t' your brother?"

"I don't think Mokuba would accept that after last year when his girlfriend cranked the heat up to ninety to spite him," the brunet replied swiftly. He saw something in the blond's eyes fracture, but he knew he couldn't take back what he'd said despite how much he desperately wanted to.

Joey looked resigned, but he didn't appear too upset. "Just get the electric blanket."

Seto did, but Joey only took two blankets off; the rest he folded over to his side of the bed, where he still shivered a little despite Seto trying to warm him by cuddling with him.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey looked at the thermostat, eye twitching a little. It was set to forty-two. It was forty-five degrees outside. This was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard of. It was warmer outside than it was inside the mansion, he was freezing, and the Kaiba brothers were going to freeze to death if they both refused to turn the heat up in a few weeks.

A cold front was coming in and was expected to stay. The snows would start and the mansion would get drafty and they would all freeze to death.

What a stupid, lame way to die.

Joey couldn't help a frustrated sob. This wasn't fair!

.-.-.-.-.-.

Mokuba groaned and kicked some of his blankets off, muttering to himself. He checked his alarm clock and saw that it was two in the morning. Usually he was still cold then. He checked his electric blanket (courtesy of Seto and his awkward statement of, "I think Joey might actually die if I don't provide him with one and I figured it would only be fair for you to have one too."), turned its setting down, then rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling.

He blinked slowly, then gasped and sat up, grinning. He'd won the war this year!

He saw the hall light on under the door and jumped up, ready to get some gloating in before the next day.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto grumbled as he reached the edge of the blond's side of the bed without actually reaching him, feeling as if he was suffocating in the heat of his blankets. He threw them off and sat up, sighing angrily when he saw that his lover wasn't even in bed with him. "Damn."

After a moment, he became aware of a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. He immediately began cursing when he also noticed the hall light was on. Joey had probably gotten so cold that he'd turned on the heat. That meant he'd lost.

God, Mokuba would hold this over him until next year.

Sighing again, he threw the blankets off and walked over to the door, yanking it open with a little more force than necessary in his annoyance.

.-.-.-.-.-.

It was like they both saw him at the same time. They saw his normally strong shoulders shaking. His head, usually held up with pride, was bowed. His fingers dug into his arms as he hugged himself until the tips of his fingers turned white, and the skin of his arms beneath them was bound to bruise.

Joey turned toward them as he heard the doors open and sobbed openly, not caring if he looked weak or pathetic or stupid. "_I've slept in cardboard boxes on the street warmer than this stupid house!_"

Seto took a step backward, unsure of what to say.

The blond sobbed again, the fractured part of him breaking further. "_I don't understand why ya wouldn't turn on the heat when ya can afford it!_"

Mokuba flinched, shoulders hunching a little with shame.

"_AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD DRAG ME INTO YOUR STUPID COMPETITION!_" Joey screamed, then covered his face and began to cry harder. "I was really lookin' forward t' bein' warm this year! Ya have no idea what it's like when ya _hafta_ be cold, and now you're doin' it just 'cause ya _wanna?!_ That's stupid and IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Seto approached the younger boy and wrapped his arms around him, sparing the thermostat a short glance on the way down. He'd only turned it up to fifty-five. He turned his gaze on the ground and sighed.

Mokuba hesitated before making his way over to them and wrapping his arms around the blond as well. Suddenly, he didn't feel as if he'd won. He felt as if he'd lost—and not just lost the war, but also lost a little bit of the blond's respect. And that was a loss he'd never wanted to bear.

Seto stroked the blond's hair slowly. He didn't even remember why he and Mokuba had started the competition. He just remembered the way they always strove to push each other's limits. And they were so busy testing each other that they forgot that other people suffered for it.

The maids had taken it in stride because they were paid to and because it was the one time of year they weren't reprimanded for wearing extra clothes. The cooks had dealt with it because they worked in a room with sources of heat. The security dealt with it because the amount of visitors always went down. The guests they usually had simply stopped coming until the weather turned warm again and they were so used to it that it didn't matter.

But Joey lived there now. His wants and needs should have been taken into account, and he'd ignored them. He hadn't even thought about how he'd react—and if he had, it had mostly been the idea that Joey would think they were stupid, like he usually did. But he hadn't factored in the blond's home life (or lack thereof) from before. Some of the smallest things he didn't even notice about the mansion made Joey happy—especially the things he took for granted.

Joey had once looked up at the roof and giggled and said something about no leaks. He'd smiled when the maids always brought out more food than necessary for each meal so that he could eat all he liked and there was still plenty left over. He'd laughed about air conditioning in the summer and not having to beg his friends to go to their places to cool off sometimes.

He'd probably been really looking forward to heat, too. He'd never known about Joey sleeping on the streets (he tried not to mention the darker facets of his home-life with his father), but knowing about it now made him feel even worse. No, he didn't know what it felt like to sleep outside in the cold in a cardboard box, but Joey did, and if he'd said he'd slept in boxes outside warmer than the mansion, they had a problem.

It wasn't Joey's problem. It was his and Mokuba's. Each of them had wanted so badly to win that their competition had started to border on dangerous—hazardous to their health.

Seto gripped the blond's hair tightly, then sighed. "Mokuba, go back to bed." He stood, pulling the blond up with him, and adjusted the thermostat to sixty-two. "Come on, Joey."

Joey sniffled and kept his face hidden in the brunet's chest. He was expecting Seto yell at him as soon as they went back into the room. Instead, he was directed to sit on the bed as the brunet grabbed a tissue and began cleaning his face. "…'m sorry, Seto."

"No, don't be. _I_ should be the one apologizing." Seto frowned and ran his thumb over the blond's cheek. "I made you uncomfortable in your own home. That wasn't fair, after I told you when you moved in that you had a say in all affairs here. …I didn't mean to make you feel unsafe here."

Joey stared up at him, blinking slowly. "…Okay."

"You don't have to forgive me yet, of course. I made you suffer in a place you should have felt safe." Seto paused. "…I'm sorry, Joey."

Joey smiled a weak, watery smile. The brunet often talked about how he should be sorry and then subsequently forgot to apologize. He usually talked so much that it slipped his mind.

But he was learning, because Joey _loved_ sincere apologies like this one.

Reaching out to cup the brunet's cheeks, he drew him close enough to give him a somewhat chaste kiss. Seto kissed him back for a few minutes before leaning back and smiled awkwardly. "I really am sorry, Joey. That was unfair of me. You shouldn't have had to deal with that."

Joey leaned up to kiss him again, smiling. "It's okay, Seto. Ya know the problem and now you're gonna fix it." He tilted his head a little. "That's what I like about ya."

Seto couldn't help but smile back at him. "I see. Well, we'd better get back to bed. We can discuss this more in the morning when we're refreshed."

"Yeah, okay."

They both snuggled under their covers, still warm from the electric blanket. Seto even slid over to wrap his arms around the blond's waist. He wanted to hug him in an attempt to somewhat make up for his callousness.

A few minutes later, Joey muttered, "Seto, can ya push some of the blankets off? I think I'm suffocatin'."

Seto couldn't help a short chuckle as he pushed off some of the extra blankets on the blond's side of the bed.


	159. Murphy's Law: T for Language

Author's Note: I don't know why I'm such an asshole to Seto. **:| **Also has anyone else noticed what a douche the document manager is being? Because it's making me redo all of my center-alignments.

* * *

Murphy's Law

Joey sighed and snuggled up against Seto's chest, smiling a little when the brunet unconsciously held him tighter. He liked waking up on lazy days like this, before Seto was up and would snuggle him without worrying about what he thought.

Seto was a reserved cuddler when he was awake; he always worried about how comfortable his partner would be, so he always let them make the first move. When he was asleep, he didn't have that worry, and even though he sometimes held him hard enough to bruise when he wanted to get up and Seto (still sleeping) didn't want him to, he loved that quirk.

Joey began to lean in to kiss him, then frowned. Something wasn't right.

…BECAUSE IT WAS TUESDAY.

"FUCK!" He twisted around as best he could and yelped when he saw that the alarm hadn't gone off and they had twenty minutes until school started. "FUCK!"

"Mmm what?" Seto blinked his eyes open slowly and yawned. "Can we do it later?"

"No, asshole, we—Yes, we can fuck later, I guess, but not right now because THE ALARM DIDN'T GO OFF AND WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Joey snapped, shoving at him. "Get off get off get off we have that huge test in English today!"

"English was your first language. You'll pass it just fine…" Seto muttered, lifting a hand to rub his eyes. He always seemed like he was a morning person, but the truth was… he was the exact opposite. His process of waking up included a shower, breakfast, and then a huge cup of coffee. Mornings that he looked perfectly refreshed were mornings when he didn't go to sleep the night before. "'m gonna take a shower."

"We don't have _time_ for a shower because the alarm didn't go off and we're going to be late!" Joey exclaimed again.

The brunet blinked at him blearily, then turned his gaze on the clock. After a few minutes (the younger teen grinding his teeth with frustration), Seto sat up. "I'll just brush my hair then." He slipped his feet into his slippers and took a few steps, but his legs were still sleepy even if he was aware of the dire situation of lateness.

Joey pinched himself to keep from laughing when the brunet tripped over his own feet and face-planted with a muttered curse. "Seto, ya want help into the bathroom?"

"Are you going to volunteer to hold it while I piss?! I'm not fucking helpless!"

There was the Kaiba he knew and loved. Instead of being embarrassed, he just got mad.

"Ya may wanna run a wet comb through your hair," the blond suggested, walking over to the closet. "It's stickin' up like Yugi's."

"AGH DAMN IT FUCK."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey and Mokuba stared as Seto stomped into the dining room with his hair dripping wet. Mokuba opened his mouth.

"I COULDN'T GET IT TO STAY DOWN WITH A COMB, OKAY?!"

Joey shoved a piece of toast in his mouth to keep from laughing.

Mokuba frowned. "Seto, there's a rip in your pants."

"What?!" Seto turned, then let out a frustrated roar. "Joey, were you going to just _let_ me walk into school like this?!"

The blond gulped down his toast and smiled. "Ya said I had no room t' talk about your uniform since mine's always wrinkled."

"There's a difference between wrinkles and a huge rip in my pants!" the older boy snarled, then turned to storm back up the stairs to change his pants.

Mokuba stared. "He really told you not to tell him about rips in his pants?"

"Serves the asshole right after all the times he ironed my clothes and then made me feel guilty about it. I didn't _ask_ him to iron my clothes!"

The younger boy thought, not for the first time, that his brother had truly found the weirdest person possible to date.

When Seto returned, his hair was dripping a little less, so he'd probably taken a towel to it. That only happened to make it frizzy. His glare, however, dared the other boys to ask about it.

They prudently decided not to say anything.

Seto sighed in frustration as he pulled his plate of eggs and toast toward him, planning to just shovel the eggs onto the toast with a few pieces of bacon and run for the limo with Joey. He took a bite of his breakfast sandwich.

Mokuba and Joey flinched as a piece of scrambled egg fell out of the sandwich and onto the brunet's shirt.

The older boy's eye twitched, but he took another bite resolutely. He'd finish the rest in the car, where he thankfully kept a few clean shirts. He reached for his cup of coffee.

The ceramic mug's handle broke in his hand, causing the cup to fall and spill the hot coffee all over his plate, shirt, and lap. Joey and Mokuba tensed, ready to duck for cover.

Seto's eye twitched again. He sighed loudly, set the handle of the mug on the table, then slowly stood up. "I am going back to bed. Have a good day at school."

After watching the older boy trudge upstairs, Mokuba turned toward the blond and whispered, "It's probably better. If he'd gone, someone might have crashed into the limo. I think he might have a heart attack if that happened."

Joey snorted. "You don't give your brother enough credit. Clearly, he'd combust."

He was sure that Seto would be in a much better mood when they got home, though. He thought he might try to soothe the brunet with some kisses.

And he was right. Seto was a lot less cranky when they got home, and he was even less cranky after Joey kissed him for a while.


	160. Smile: K

Author's Note: This is somewhat of a follow-up to Apology Unaccepted. It's based more on the rides to and from his mother's place rather than actually being with them.

* * *

Smile 

Joey noticed her probably the fourth time he was on the train. He visited his mother and sister every first and third weekend of the month; the first he paid for, and the second his mother paid for, because she wanted to do _something_ to help him even when he didn't need it. So he took the train, and somehow he always got on the same compartment with her.

She always looked so sad, now that he noticed her. She always had her head down, and she looked like she was just going through the motions. Every time she noticed him looking at her, he smiled to hopefully convey that he wasn't a creeper. She'd smile back at him, but it was more of an obligatory 'I better smile back so he doesn't think I'm a rude bitch because I would hate to be rude to someone I don't even know' smile. Then she'd look back down at her lap, and he'd look away, frowning, because he didn't want to make her uncomfortable by continuing to look at her when she clearly wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

She was there every other week without fail, and he figured she must be visiting every week, or commuting, or something. He didn't want to talk to her, because she seemed to just want to be left alone when other guys tried to flirt with her. Perhaps she just wanted to be left alone to recuperate. Maybe this was her down time after a hard week at work or school and a hard weekend of visiting. He knew some people got stressed out from visiting family; he was one of them, after all, and while he loved his mother and sister dearly, two weekends a month was all he felt he could handle at the moment.

Joey continued to watch her for a few minutes every time he got on the train. She eventually started smiling a greeting to him before turning her gaze back on her lap, as if she recognized him as something more than a stranger. Like a nameless acquaintance that shared the same fate of traveling back and forth and because of that, it was worth acknowledging. He started smiling back at her, because her genuine smile was really pretty.

It was a long train ride. He started making up stories for the other passengers in the train, just to pass time. He could imagine everyone else as drug dealers or secret millionaires or housewives going out of their way for shopping for their sick children. He couldn't make a story for her, though. He was too scared of being wrong because she looked like she'd be a nice person if he talked to her.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey grimaced as he rubbed the small of his back. Serenity was getting too old to be carried around on his back. She was going to kill him at this rate.

As soon as he sat down, he caught the girl's eye, and she smiled at him. He smiled back, then looked at his mp3 player. His sister had just put some new songs on for his ride, and he wanted to figure out sooner than later whether they were all girly pop bands so he could tell her he'd listened to them and didn't like them. She didn't mind if he deleted them as long as he listened to them first.

Once he'd gotten it on and was listening to a song that wasn't terrible, he looked back up to watch the world go by.

Joey noticed the girl moving and turned to look at her in surprise. She was pulling out her phone. It must have been a text, because she didn't normally like to talk on the phone; he'd noticed, because any time she'd gotten a call before, she kept her conversations as short as possible.

She checked the text, eyes twitching back and forth as she read, before her lips twisted into a wide smile.

Joey stared, eyes widening. He'd never seen her so happy, even when she smiled at him when he sat down.

It must have been a text from someone special.

Joey couldn't help smiling at the thought. The girl always looked so sad that seeing her so happy right now almost made him laugh. That she was finally happy because of a simple text warmed his heart; she seemed like she deserved it.

He watched as she replied to the text, watched as she received another one and smiled again. It was much more beautiful than her vague 'we've been sharing the same train for months' smile and he felt flattered for some reason that he was being allowed to see it.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey's smile grew when he watched the girl practically run off of the train. She looked around for a few seconds before she found what she was looking for. When she ran and threw her arms around a man's neck, she was absolutely beaming.

Beautiful.

Seto looked up as the blond slid into the car and pulled his seatbelt closed, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "You look happy. Usually you're so tired after your stay that I have to beg you to go to dinner with me."

Joey leaned toward him to give him a kiss. "'cause ya drive like a maniac. I had a good day. Can't I just have a good day?"

The brunet looked at him for a moment, tilting his head a little. "…I suppose you can."

After a moment, he smiled as well. Joey usually _was_ tired as all get out when he got home from visiting his mother and sister, and this time he was awake and happy and would probably actually enjoy dinner before he took him home and kissed him goodnight.

What a good day.

Seto reached out to cup his chin and smiled at him a moment longer before turning to face forward. "Hold on."

At that, Joey's smile began to fade, and he gripped the armrests with white knuckles as the brunet peeled out of his parking spot.


	161. Cramped: T

Cramped

"Why do you insist on keeping this place?" Seto muttered to himself, scowling.

Joey smiled and, even though he'd explained it before, explained, "Because if I moved in with ya, you'd just take care o' me."

"Is there anything wrong with me wanting to take care of you? I like pampering the people I date and you won't let me. At least let me buy you something pretty."

The blond poked his head out from behind the curtain, still smiling. "No thanks, crabby-pants."

Seto glared at him even after he ducked back into the shower, wondering if he should suggest at least alternating houses whenever they decided to stay together for the night. He could make an argument that it wasn't fair to Roland to make him stay out on the street in the car just to make sure no one attacked him while he was at Joey's apartment.

But Joey would just scowl at him because he was paying for all the meals so he could at least let him make the coffee and desserts for him.

The brunet sighed, then reached over to flush the toilet.

"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEE —SETO WHY WOULD YA DO THAT I'M MELTING!"

Seto smirked. "You're not melting, just scalding."

"BURN BURN BURN BURN!"

"I'm sorry, what? I can't hear you over the steam."

Joey ripped the curtain back and grabbed the showerhead to spray him with it. "ASSHOLE!"

"Oh, come on! This was my last work shirt!" the brunet groaned, turning to grab his wrist and twist it so the water was back in the shower where it belonged and not soaking him. "I can't go into work like this!"

"You could throw it in the dryer. I have one, ya know," the younger boy retorted.

Seto rolled his eyes and added, "Yes, but you don't own an iron." He paused, then glanced the blond up and down, smirking. "Well. What a view."

"OH SHUT UP!"

"Ack!" The CEO couldn't help a short chuckle when the blond sprayed him one last time before sliding the curtain shut again.

He peeled his wet shirt off and tossed it in the laundry basket, then wandered into the blond's bedroom to grab a dry t-shirt he could wear until he got to work. He'd just put his jacket on over it and hope no one noticed he wasn't wearing a tie. And if they did notice, he hoped they'd be too scared to say anything.

When he walked back into the bathroom, though, he cursed. "You're finished?!"

Joey looked up at him, scowling. "'course I'm finished. I don't take hour-long showers like _you._"

Seto did not even bother telling him he did not have an hour's worth of hot water. "I haven't brushed my hair or my teeth yet!"

"Well whose fault is that, asshole?" the blond muttered to himself, plugging in his hairdryer. "Not my fault you're lazy."

"You sprayed me with the shower head and I had to change—Oh, just move it."

Joey squawked as he was shoved aside so the brunet could reach under him to get his brush out of the drawer. "Jeez, would it kill ya t' say 'excuse me?!'" He blushed when the older boy stood up straight and kissed his cheek. "Uh-?"

"Excuse me," Seto replied, then turned toward the mirror to begin brushing his hair. "So can I take you out for dinner again tonight?"

The blond caught his elbow, flinching a little because he'd almost hit him in the head with it. "Jeez, gangly-arms, watch it."

"It's not my fault you have a tiny bathroom."

"It's not my fault ya have such long arms!"

Seto hooked his arm around the younger boy's shoulder and tugged him up against his side. "My arms aren't unnaturally long, and I resent being called gangly."

Joey giggled and tilted his head back to kiss the brunet lightly, grinning a little because he knew he was mashing his sopping wet hair against his lover's arm. "Fine."

The brunet muttered to himself as he tried to shake the water from his arm. "Jeez." He reached around the blond for another towel and hissed. "Could you at least find a place with a bigger bathroom if you won't move in with me?" He yelped as the blond finally turned his hairdryer on, flipping his wet hair into his face. "GAH!"

The younger boy smirked at him. "Sorry, I can't hear ya."

"Oh, fuck you," Seto mumbled, scowling, and reached around him again to put the towel back. He paused, looking the blond over again, then smirked and slid between him and the counter—a tight squeeze in this bathroom.

Joey scowled and tried to lean around him, refusing to rise to the bait. Why was he so broad in the shoulders, anyway?! He tried to go up on his toes, to try to peek over his shoulder, but his feet slipped in the puddle he'd made when he sprayed Seto. "EEK!"

Seto caught him and dragged him up against his body, holding him tightly. "See? You should at least get an apartment with a bigger bathroom. You might slip and fall again."

The blond huffed and, deciding not to point out that the older boy had practically forced him to slip, merely flipped his hair so water droplets splattered across his cheeks. "Oh, please." He paused as he leaned up against the brunet's chest, then laid his head beneath his chin. "…But then we couldn't cuddle like this if my bathroom was bigger."

Seto rolled his eyes and sighed. "I can't argue with you when you're being cuddly. You know that, don't you?" He felt the blond's arms curl up behind his back and smiled. "How did you do this to me so quickly?"

Joey looked up at him and grinned smugly. "'cause you're not hard t' read once I get t' know ya, silly."

"I'm not silly."

"Silly. …'nd wet, too." The blond giggled and trailed his fingers over the older boy's chest. "Maybe I will look into gettin' an apartment with a bigger bathroom. 'Cause then we'd be able t' shower t'gether."

"Well, I _do_ like the sound of _that,_" Seto replied, leaning down to kiss him. He slid one of his hands down over his towel, then smirked and caught it between his fingers.

"Ow! You're pinchin' me!" Joey jerked his hips forward, then scowled. "Oh, you pervert."

"I can't help it. You have a cute butt." The brunet nuzzled his damp neck. "It's so perfect I can't keep my hands off of it."

"You're a jerk. Come on, you're late for work and I'm gonna be at this rate." He leaned back and looked up at the older boy, unable to help a pleased smile. "Maybe we can neck on our way t' dinner." He couldn't help but laugh as the brunet's eyes lit up. "Sometimes I think ya like makin' out more than sex!"

"…Sometimes, I'd agree with you." Seto tilted his head, frowning. "I like kissing. It seems somehow more intimate than anything else, and I like being intimate with you."

Joey blushed and jerked his gaze away, biting his bottom lip. "Yeah, well… I guess, same here. Well! We better hurry or we're gonna get in trouble!"

"I don't _get_ in trouble for being late to work," the brunet deadpanned. "And neither do you because let's be honest—it's Yugi, and he couldn't scold you if he tries."

The younger boy _did_ have to admit that was true. "Fine. I'll be honest. I'm worried that if we don't stop and get ready, we're gonna jump each other's bones, and I don't wanna walk around with a limp today."

Seto stared at him for a moment, startled, then chuckled. "Fine. Let me grab my toothbrush and I'll get out of your way."

Joey bit his bottom lip as the brunet leaned back, casually grinding their hips together. When he slid aside to get to the sink, he realized that it had really been as innocent as the brunet had made it seem.

Maybe he did need to get an apartment with a bigger bathroom. Suddenly, the bathroom here felt way too cramped.

…And way too hot, too.


	162. Spine Tingling: T

Author's Note: OH GOD WHY HAVE I DONE THIS. D**:**

* * *

Spine Tingling

Joey peeked in at the brunet on his bed, smiling when he saw the older boy lying on his stomach and reading a book. He looked so cute like that, especially when he was wearing his black, square-framed glasses almost hanging off of his nose. He looked so into his book. He was probably reading some sort of science-fiction novel or an anthology of boring.

The blond covered his mouth to stifle a chuckle when he imagined the older boy reading a cheesy romance novel. That would never happen. Seto would probably rip his own eyes out before he read a cheesy romance novel, no matter how much Joey wanted to see it.

Joey nibbled on his bottom lip, then smiled and zipped into the room.

Seto only heard his footsteps for a second before he felt something crushing him. "AGH."

The blond wrapped his arms around his neck and smiled, nuzzling the top of his head. "Hiya Kaiba!"

The older boy groaned loudly. "…I'm broken…"

"You're not broken," Joey retorted, placing his hands on the bed and nuzzling his shoulder. "Stop bein' a sissy."

"Why would you even do that?! If my spine had a mouth, it would be screaming in agony! You have broken my spine and I will be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life!"

The blond sat up a little more and glared down at the back of his head, then huffed and leaned back down to begin kissing the back of his neck.

Seto shuddered. "Shit, what are you—ah, damn it."

"_Mmn._" Joey smiled and nibbled the sensitive skin gently, giggling when he felt the brunet's muscles ripple appreciatively beneath him. He nuzzled into his neck again. "Ya like it when I nibble the back of your neck!"

"Go away. I was reading." The brunet paused. "…Also, I would really not like to have an erection when I'm lying down like this. It's painful."

The younger boy hummed and pushed himself up again, leaning back to rest against his hips as he put most of his weight on his knees. "You complain a lot, asshole, but I guess that's cute." He paused, then smiled, biting his bottom lip as he leaned forward a little and poked the brunet's back.

Seto immediately lifted his head, scowling. "What are you doing."

"…Nothin'," Joey cooed, smiling, and poked his back again.

"Yes you are. What are you doing. Quit it."

"'m not doin' nothing," the blond repeated, then poked his back a third time.

"I'm going to kill you. Quit it."

The younger boy giggled. "Can't kill me if you're crippled."

"QUIT IT. I JUST WANTED TO READ WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS WHEN I'M TRYING TO RELAX YOU ARE SUCH A JERK."

Joey chuckled and poked his shoulder. "Cripple."

"I hate you." Seto scowled, grumbling to himself, then let his head fall flat on the bed. "Fine. Whatever."

"Oh, calm down, grumpy-pants." The blond wiggled his fingers, grinning, then placed his hands down on the brunet's back and dug the tips of his fingers into his flesh.

"OW!"

Joey grimaced—both at the feeling of all of the tense muscles and at the volume of the older boy's shout. "Jeez, you're knotty."

Seto growled, brows furrowing together in frustration as the blond's fingers dug in harder. "Why do you insist on doing this even after I've told you it _hurts—_" He squeaked, back arching as the younger boy's fingers dug into a particularly hard knot in his right shoulder muscle. "OWowowowOWOW!"

The blond hummed and relieved the pressure. "There."

Seto fell limp, shivering a little. "Damn."

Tracing the tip of his finger over the ridges of the brunet's spine, Joey cooed, "Feel good, honey-bun?"

"…I'm going to kill you," the older boy muttered. "When I don't feel like noodles, I will kill you."

The blond tilted his head, frowning, then rolled his eyes and began pushing the back of his shirt up. "Spare me."

"What are you doing?!"

"Pushin' your shirt up, stupid." Joey smiled as he pushed the brunet's shirt all the way up, biting his bottom lip again.

He didn't know how Seto had such a muscular back (probably his always-excellent posture), but he adored it. It was like looking at the back of one of the fancy sculptures at the museums Seto took him to—like Seto's back had been chiseled out of smooth white marble.

Joey shivered, digging his teeth into his lip harder as his fingers lightly trailed over his lover's back. "Damn. You're gorgeous, Seto."

Seto blinked. "…You're not just saying that because I'm wearing my glasses, are you?"

"Nah." The blond laid his palms on his back and slid them down, whimpering when he dug his teeth into his lip so hard it almost bled. "You've got a beautiful back."

The older boy blinked again, frowning. He knew Joey had some pretty significant quirks, but he'd never encountered this one. "…Thanks." He shivered as he felt the blond's warm breath against his left shoulder blade and flinched a little. "Nnh…"

Joey kissed the bone lightly, lips trailing to the center of his back and drifting down over each ridge of his spine until reached the hem of his pants. "So beautiful…"

Seto lifted himself up onto his elbows and turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "…Did something happen today, Joey?"

The blond hesitated, lips hovering over his hip. That was all the answer he needed.

Rolling over beneath him, he placed his hands on the younger boy's hips and drew him closer. "Joey, what happened?"

Joey frowned and turned his head to the side, gazing down at the blankets. "…It's nothin'."

"You don't compliment me that much unless you're upset," the brunet pointed out quietly, smiling a little. "You're usually so snarky that it's weird when you're nice."

The younger boy's head ducked further, shoulders beginning to hunch up. "…Really…?"

Seto scowled and grabbed his chin, jerking his head up so he had to meet his gaze. "What. Happened."

"…It's nothing—" Joey began, but then the brunet's brows furrowed together in a way that promised a smack if he was not forthcoming. He sighed and lifted his hand to grab Seto's and pull it away from his face, looking down at the blankets again. "…Just met someone on the street I didn't 'spect to. Said somethin' I expected even less. Just one o' those—"

"What did they say?"

The blond frowned and turned, leaning his forehead against the older boy's shoulder. "…Said I chose the most high-maintenance bitches t' date. Mentioned that I always had t' feed 'em compliments so that they'd stay, 'cause I'm a pretty shitty boyfriend." He flinched, reaching out to grip the brunet's shirt between his fingers tightly and unconsciously drawing it to his own chest, as if to hold onto him if he tried to leave. "I don't know. I'm so used t' havin' t' do everything that I… I wanted t' make sure I was doin' everything I could even though I don't have a lot of money and you're busy a lot—"

Seto slid an arm around his back and pulled him up against his chest, frowning. "Joey. Listen to me very, _very_ carefully, okay?"

Joey flinched. "…'kay."

"I find it _very_ concerning when you compliment me."

The blond looked up at him, eyes wide with panic. Was he really such a shitty boyfriend that his lover didn't want his compliments—found them 'concerning' to the point it worried him?! Was he really that mean to him?! Did that mean he was abusive?! He didn't want to be abusive!

Seto scowled. "I wasn't _finished_ yet."

"…Oh." Joey ducked his head again to hide his flushed cheeks.

The brunet sighed and rolled his eyes, then smiled a little, ruffling his hair. "Joey, did you know that when a Roman General came home triumphantly, and there was a huge parade and procession, there was a slave standing behind him, holding a crown above his head, but whispering 'you are just a man' to keep him humble?"

The younger boy blinked slowly, looking up at him in confusion. "…S-so?"

"You keep me humble," Seto explained quietly. "You tease me about all of my flaws, reminding me that I have them, and that feels good because that means we're on the same level—both just men. Both just human." He lifted a hand to brush the blond's hair out of his eyes. "When you get insecure, you put me on a pedestal, probably like you've done with all of your former girlfriends.

"And I don't know, maybe they liked it. Maybe they liked having you looking up at them on that pedestal, like a little puppy just trying to be cute and please its master. I _don't_ like that. I don't like you feeding me compliments because you think something isn't working." He sighed as he heard the blond sniffle and gave him a squeeze. "Joey. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. I'm saying you're just going about it the wrong way. I can tell when you're upset."

Joey bit his bottom lip again, shoulders hunched unconsciously. After a moment, he looked up at the brunet, blushing, and said, "Okay, I get what you're saying, but, um, you still have a really pretty back and I really like touchin' it and I like all the muscle there."

Seto blinked, then chuckled a little and nuzzled his neck. "Stop being so endearing."

"Huh?"

"That just makes me want to hold you and never let go, and I just reached an interesting part in my book." The brunet pressed a kiss to his cheek, then tossed him to the side and rolled back onto his stomach. Returning his attention to his book, he placed his chin on his hand and sighed.

Joey blinked, staring up at the ceiling in shock, then sat up, glaring at him. "You asshole!"

Seto growled in annoyance as the blond crawled back on top of him and rolled his eyes. "You are such a child." He yelped as the younger boy began bouncing on him. "Ow ow ow ow ooowww! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"

"Because fuck you, Roman General! You don't get t' be super romantic and then just whip it out from under me, ya prick!"

The older boy roared and rolled over to grab his hips. "YOU ARE HURTING ME. QUIT IT! I JUST WANT TO READ!"

"What the hell are ya readin' that's more interestin' than me, anyway?!" Joey snarled, reaching over him to grab the book.

Seto slapped it out of his hand and onto the floor. "_NO!_"

"Owie!" The blond bit his bottom lip and brought his hand to his chest. He looked up at the older boy with teary eyes. "That hurt. Why would you do that?"

The brunet blanched. "I didn't mean to actually hurt you-!" He sighed when the younger boy let out a small, quiet whine and leaned in to kiss him. "I'm sorry." He smiled a little as the blond lifted his hand, probably so he could 'kiss it better' instead.

Joey smashed his hand on the brunet's face and shoved him backward, scowling. "ASSHOLE!" He began crawling over him to the edge of the bed so he could look at the book. It had just made him even more curious.

"Ow-! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Seto roared, panicking, and grabbed the pockets of his jeans to drag him back. "WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH JUST LEAVE IT ALONE!"

"Ack!" The blond scrabbled wildly at the edge of the bed before scowling and reaching down to slap one of his hands.

"Ow!"

"Leggo!"

"NO!"

"_LET GO AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_" Joey turned and bit his wrist.

Seto yelped and yanked his hand back. "AGH stop it!"

The blond scrabbled for the edge of the bed, cackling when the older boy caught the leg of his jeans; he was too late to stop him now. "HAHA!" He grabbed the book and flipped it over to see the title.

Seto bit his bottom lip, blushing a little as the younger boy finally fell still.

"…This is _Fifty Shades of Grey._"

"…No it's not."

"…You're reading a pornographic novel."

"I am not."

Joey turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

Seto blushed a little more. "…It's for science." When the blond said nothing and only continued to stare at him, he whispered, "It came with free handcuffs."

The younger boy blushed a little as well, eyes widening, and sat up straight, squeaking, "Ya got this book 'cause it came with handcuffs?!"

The brunet turned and grabbed the handcuffs from the bedside table. "It was cheaper than buying the same handcuffs from a sex shop, and I thought, well, I have the book, so why not—"

Joey watched the brunet pull out a second pair, then whipped his gaze back to the older boy's face, appalled. "Ya bought two copies of this stupid book?!"

Seto paused, then tackled the blond backward onto the bed, wrestling him up toward the headboard.

"AGH WHAT ARE YA DOIN' SETO QUIT IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH YOU JERK LEMME GO EEK!"

Seto sat back and sighed in relief when he finally got both of the blond's hands cuffed to the bed. After a moment, he reached into the drawer again.

Joey glared at him. "If ya bought three copies of this book, ya jerk, I'm gonna judge ya _so hard—_Oh, fuck—"

The brunet wrapped the strip of silk around his head a few times, making sure it gagged him properly, then patted the top of his head. "Just sit here and shut up, puppy."

"MMPHMMHMM." Joey glared at him with such menace that if Seto had been a weaker man, he would have caved immediately.

But he was Seto-fucking-Kaiba, so he simply bent over to pick up his book, slid his shirt off, and turned so his back was facing the blond when he began to read again. He shrugged, smirking when he heard the blond keen, and chuckled to himself when he heard what must have been curses muffled through the gag. After all, he was almost finished with the book, and he had to admit that he wanted to do some of the things he read to his puppy. Not the bullshitty parts (because seriously, this was a shoddily written book), but the honestly erotic and interesting ones.

Joey whimpered as he watched the brunet's back muscles ripple, flinching his legs together. If Seto was going to keep flexing and showing off like this while he had to sit here and watch it, he'd go mad.

And that was probably Seto's intention, too.


	163. Head Games: K Plus

Author's Note: This started out funny, got serious, and then was funny again. I meant for this to be a short, two hundred word thing, and suddenly it got longer. -_-

* * *

Head Games

Seto smiled a little as he heard the blond shout that he was home, then quickly schooled his face back into an expressionless mask. He didn't want Joey to know he'd sort of missed him while he was gone; he might think he was clingy.

A moment later, he felt a pair of hands digging into his hair. He couldn't help a moan as the blond began massaging his head, eyes rolling back as they dug into some of the sensitive bone. "Oh God."

"Hey, Seto?" Joey cooed, kissing the back of his neck.

The CEO couldn't bring himself to use words, instead moaning, "Uuuuhn…?!"

The blond smirked, pressing his lips against the older boy's ear once before whispering, "Head lice."

Seto paused, blinking slowly, then flinched, lifting a hand to scratch frantically at his scalp. He turned toward the blond, face contorted with anger, disgust, and horror. "You mean you actually came home with lice and maliciously gave it to me?!"

Joey grinned, a sort of mean smile, but also amused and playful. "Nah. It's something my sister did t' me. Didja know that most people, when they hear the words 'head lice,' feel their heads start t' itch, regardless of whether they have it or not?" He chuckled and lifted his hand to scratch his head lightly. "Kinda made me itch just sayin' it."

"…I'm going to kill you," the brunet ground out, and stood, tossing his newspaper back onto the couch.

The younger boy yelped and scampered away. "OH COME ON IT WAS JUST A JOKE!"

"JOKES ARE FUNNY AND I'M NOT LAUGHING."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I can't believe he would do that, what a little shit," Seto muttered, still scratching his scalp even two hours later.

That wasn't how he wanted to start his day. He'd wanted to start it with some welcome home sex, since Joey was coming from visiting his mother and sister and it had been a week. He hadn't wanted to start it thinking he'd had head lice. He hadn't gotten his hands on the blond, of course, because he was an excellent runner, but he seriously thought about spiking some pudding with a laxative.

His secretary, Hanita, looked up at him in surprise. "Mr. Kaiba, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Joey just though it would be funny to make me think he'd given me head lice." Seto paused as he watched her lift her hand and scratch behind her ear, then chuckled a little. "I guess it's true. You just have to say it and people start to itch."

"Your boyfriend is a _menace,_" she hissed, glaring at him, as she lifted her other hand to scratch the top of her head. "Why would anyone think that that's funny?!"

"Joey has a weird sense of humor," the brunet mused, walking into his office. "Well, get ready for the day, Hanita."

"I hate you. I hate your boyfriend. This isn't even funny," she muttered, still scratching her scalp, and she knew that there was no hope of saving her hairdo.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey grimaced as he heard the front door open and Seto calling out that he was home. Then, he pasted on a smile and stepped out into the hallway, placing his hands on his hips. "Hey, Seto!"

Seto immediately scowled. "What's wrong?"

The blond blanched. "How couldja-!?"

"Because you're a terrible liar and you've only said 'hey,'" the older boy replied, scowling, and crossed his arms. "What's wrong?"

"Uh." Joey smiled bashfully and tapped his index fingers together. "Ya know how I came home and the first thing I said t' ya was 'head lice?'"

Seto narrowed his eyes and forced himself not to reach up and scratch his head. "…Yes, I know quite well."

"Well, uh, Mokie came home, and…" Joey took a deep breath, then sighed. "He's got lice."

The brunet blinked at him slowly, then chuckled. "That's funny, Joey. I'm going to go make a few phone calls and then we can go out to eat, okay?"

The younger boy frowned. "No, Seto, I'm serious. Mokuba's got head lice."

Seto stared at him for a moment. "…But he's in private school."

"Seto, just because he goes to private school doesn't mean he won't get lice," Joey deadpanned. "In fact, that's probably where he got it."

Seto stared at him for a few minutes longer, then roared, "BUT HE'S GOT SO MUCH FUCKING HAIR HOW DO WE GET RID OF THEM?!"

"He's scrubbin' with an anti-lice shampoo and then I'm gonna pick the nits outta his hair. Uh, you might wanna get some bug bombs to set off in each of the rooms. Actually, send someone else t' do that and then come int' the bathroom so I can check ya for lice too."

"No. I don't have lice."

Joey sighed and rolled his eyes, then placed his hands on his hips and looked up at him. "I didn't say ya had 'em. I said I need t' check."

"No. Because I don't have any."

"Seto."

"No."

"_Seto._"

"_No._"

"SETO."

"NO I DON'T WANT TO HAVE LICE I WILL NOT HAVE THEM I REFUSE YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST."

Joey scowled at him. "Seto."

Seto sagged, unable to help a small, tired sob. "We had lice when we were kids and Mom just shaved our heads. We were teased for weeks."

The blond sighed and tilted his head, wanting to reach out and touch him to comfort him, but he'd been touching Mokuba's hair and he didn't want to even chance getting lice or nits in the brunet's hair if he didn't already have any. "Seto, I'm not makin' ya cut your hair. We'll just sit here and I'll pick 'em out one by one if I hafta. Is that okay?"

The older boy sighed. "Okay."

When Joey saw that he didn't have lice or nits and realized Mokuba must have just gotten some lice on him from school that very day, he sent Seto out of the house to stay in a hotel until he could make sure that there were no lice anywhere else.

Seto was kind enough to send the bug bombs via delivery and promised to take them out for dinner later. When they were sure Mokuba didn't have lice anymore—and by the way he'd called the school and yeah Mokuba wasn't going back until the lice thing was taken care of so the teachers were going to email him his lessons and homework.

But Joey was sort of okay with that. He didn't want either of the Kaiba brothers to shave their heads, but he knew they were just impatient enough to do it if they'd actually had an infestation.

And then they'd be even more miserable to live with than they would have been with just the lice.


	164. Neat and Tidy: K Plus

Author's Note: …I have no excuse for this. But this will be my argument if/when I have a child of my own and it decides to be a jerk about cleaning its room.

* * *

Neat and Tidy

Seto glanced into his little brother's room and sighed, lips firming into a thin line in annoyance even as he unconsciously straightened his tie. It looked like he'd have to have another talk with him before the maids tried to ream him out. He wasn't scared of the maids (seriously, he paid them, so he didn't really care what they thought) but he wanted his brother to learn some responsibility.

He thought about checking the younger boy's bathroom, but then he saw one of the maids open the door and begin to step inside.

She yelped and sprang back out, hand clutching her chest, startled. "Oh my gosh!"

Seto stared.

She noticed his attention and turned toward him sharply, mouth falling open a little. Then, she blushed, smiled bashfully, and picked up the bucket she'd dropped, placing the sponges and soap bottle back into it and backing into the bathroom and shutting the door.

…It was probably safe to say his brother didn't clean his bathroom either.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"MOKUBA."

Mokuba looked up, mouth hanging open even as the scrambled eggs fell from his spoon. "Huh?"

"CLEAN YOUR FUCKING ROOM!" Seto roared, glaring at him.

Joey rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee that was more cream and sugar than actual coffee. "Oh here we go again."

Mokuba rolled his eyes in annoyance. "_Ugh._ Will you just leave me alone already!? That's what we have maids for!"

"I just watched one of the maids scream and jump out of your bathroom," the brunet hissed, glaring at him. "It's embarrassing."

The younger boy huffed. "Come on! You don't clean your room!"

"That's because I _keep_ mine clean. All the time."

"And I'm sure the maids appreciate it. And call you a fucking neat freak."

Joey's eyes darted back and forth as if watching a tennis game, wondering if and when he should interrupt.

"Mokuba, I want you to learn some fucking responsibility! Why should I trust you with anything that's actually important if you can't even keep your bedroom and bathroom clean?!" Seto exclaimed, ready to pull his hair out in frustration.

"Because we have _maids_ for that and because I'm the fricking vice-president of the company!" Mokuba snarled back.

The brunet threw his hands up. "You could at least make your bed!"

"What's the point of making my bed every day if I'm just going to get back in it every night!?" the younger boy muttered, scowling at him.

Joey glared. "Mokuba."

Mokuba rolled his eyes, unable to help the thought of, _'Great, now they're trying to double-team me.'_ He looked back at the blond and sighed. "Yes?"

"Why do you wipe your ass if you're just gonna shit again later?" the blond deadpanned.

The younger boy's mouth fell open in shock.

Seto was appalled. "Oh my God, Joey, that's disgusting."

Joey looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sorry."

"…I didn't think you would be." The brunet looked at his brother. "Mokuba—"

"I'm gonna… go clean my room…" Mokuba muttered, eye twitching as he got up from the table and began up the stairs.

Seto frowned. "…If I'd known it was that easy, I would have asked you to say that sooner."

"No ya wouldn't," Joey stated firmly, taking two pieces of toast and slapping some bacon and eggs on them for a breakfast sandwich. "Ya still can't believe I even said it, can ya?"

"_No that was so gross why would you say that where I can hear you?!_"


	165. Muffs: T

Author's Note: Psychotic, socially-stunted Seto Kaiba is best Seto Kaiba.

* * *

Muffs

"God, it's cold out there. I don't wanna go out," Joey muttered, rubbing his hands together as he looked out at the snow. He sighed and wrapped his arms around his knees, rocking back and forth a few times. "Damn."

It was the first time he'd woken up early and would actually be on time for school. He was very proud of that on one hand, but on the other, he'd woken up because he was freezing. His space heater could only do so much when he only had a couple blankets and his window leaked cold air into the room. He pondered just texting Tristan with a simple 'sick' and trying to go back to bed, but then he sighed.

The school _was_ technically warmer than his own apartment, and if he went to school, he'd at least have a chance to throw some hints out to be able to spend the night at Yugi's or Tristan's. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He wished he lived somewhere tropical. He hated to do this every year.

Getting dressed, Joey found the warm coat he'd been given in his closet, smiling because he'd forgotten it. His employer at the bakery had gotten it for him for his birthday. She didn't know about his money problems, but she knew that he had to walk a couple miles to work in the cold, so she'd given it to him along with a cupcake, making him promise to use it despite it being a tad expensive.

He hadn't had a good coat for several years. He was a bit embarrassed by his excitement to have one.

He paused as he glanced into one of the boxes that held his other birthday presents. He'd gotten a lot of Duel Monster stuff (Yugi, because he liked dueling him), along with boxes of cookies (Téa, because she hated to just give bought gifts) and some vouchers to food places (Tristan, because he knew about the money problems he had). On top of one of the boxes, however, was a gift from his sister. She'd sent him a couple of booster packs, then a note that was practically written with a pen made of giggles and a set of earmuffs, scarf, and mittens.

Joey blushed a little, then glanced back at the window down to the several inches of snow on the ground.

…Well, there was no other choice.

.-.-.-.-.-.

At least they kept him warm, Joey decided, even though he was a little annoyed that people had always pointed and giggled as he walked past them. And at least he'd be on time to school so he could take it all off before class instead of running in and still wearing it. Ugh. This was so humiliating it was beyond words. He was using his sister's gag gift.

He groaned quietly as he saw the group waiting outside the gates. Trust his friends to wait out in the snow just to make sure he got to school safely after texting Tristan he'd rather walk than use his motorcycle (mostly because he knew he'd keep warmer if he walked, despite getting to school faster on his death machine). He saw a limo pull up and rolled his eyes toward the sky, wondering who hated him to make this day as shitty as possible. Of course Kaiba would be there to see him, too, and probably get a good laugh.

Well, he was cold, and the school was warm, so he told himself he didn't give a fuck as he approached them all, rolling his eyes when he heard Kaiba asking Yugi for a duel.

Téa saw him first. She blinked, jaw dropping for a few moments, before she squealed, making the other three jerk to look at him. "_JOEY THAT IS SO ADORABLE!_"

Tristan's jaw might as well have been on the floor, he was so speechless. Joey didn't blame him. He looked like a huge dork.

Yugi beamed at him. "Are those Scapegoat earmuffs?! They're so cute! And it suits you!" Well, he'd never thought about it like that, but it was still embarrassing.

Kaiba opened his mouth, then closed it, glaring at him. His cheeks turned pink. He opened his mouth again, letting out a wordless snarl, then turned to stomp into the school.

Joey blinked and pulled the scarf down from covering his mouth, frowning. "I guess he didn't like it."

"Oh no, Joey, keep it on!" Téa cooed as he began to pull at his scarf on the way into the school. "You look so cute!"

"Spare me," the blond muttered in disgust. "I'm stayin' at someone's house t'night so I don't hafta walk as far tomorrow."

"My sister's visiting with the kids, so… Yugi's taking you," Tristan stated.

Yugi blinked, then smiled. "The more the merrier!"

"'kay. Then I'll be over after my detention."

Téa frowned. "What detention?"

"WHEELER!" Their chemistry teacher stormed out of his door. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, SWAPPING LABLES ON CHEMICALS?! I'LL HAVE YOU EXPELLED!"

"They were _wrong_ and I was _fixin'_ 'em," Joey snarled. "I was helpin' your student teacher! Did those girls tell ya _that_ when they tattled t' ya?"

A mousy looking woman appeared in the doorway, grimacing. "Um, that's true. I did ask him for help, because I didn't want to be here all alone."

The man worked his mouth, face turning an angry puce, before roaring, "DETENTION FOR A WEEK!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Joey muttered, stalking toward his locker.

Téa gaped, torn between arguing for her friend and knowing that their teacher was a prick and would probably just give him more. Tristan and Yugi merely rolled their eyes and dragged her away before she could choose, just in case she chose wrong and made it worse.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey wrapped his scarf up around his nose, thankful that it was long enough to wrap around his neck and his face. He placed his Scapegoat earmuffs on, then began pulling on his matching mittens. Serenity would at least be glad to know that her gift, while a joke, had actually been put to good use.

He paused as he heard a squeak and turned, blanching a little when he found Kaiba standing behind him. "Agh!"

Seto gripped his free hand into a tight fist as he glared at him, the other hand gripping his briefcase so tight his knuckles turned white. "Why do you insist on testing me?!"

Joey blinked, frowning beneath his scarf. "What?"

He yelped as the brunet lunged at him, lifting his mittened hands to grab his shoulders. The older boy made a frustrated noise when he saw the mittens and slammed him into a wall.

"Ow! Kaiba, what the hell are ya—Hnn—" Joey squirmed wildly as the brunet yanked the scarf from over his mouth, gasping a little as the cold air hit it.

Then the cold air was gone and all he could register was that Kaiba was kissing him—_kissing him_—and doing a great job of introducing his tongue to his tonsils. He whimpered, knees failing him as the brunet savagely attacked his mouth. "Mmn!"

Seto broke the kiss and glared at him, face flushed a little. "How am I supposed to control myself when you walk up to me looking that adorable?! Especially with these earmuffs!"

Joey's cheeks flushed cherry red as he gaped up at him. "I… I… Oh… my God…" He shivered, biting his bottom lip as the brunet let go of him and slid to the floor. "Oh God Kaiba. That was great."

He thought about begging the brunet for another kiss, but then he remembered he had to go to Yugi's and he had to walk and—

Seto watched the blond's face flush further, then scowled, reaching down to grab him around the waist and throw him over his shoulders. "You're coming with me."

"Uh?! I'm goin' over t' Yug's place t' stay the night!"

"You're staying with me tonight. Text him."

"Geh?! Says who?!" Joey exclaimed, glaring at him.

Seto grabbed his briefcase and, after a moment, grabbed the blond's too, just so he wouldn't get _too_ mad. "I'm not giving you a choice. I've done very well containing my urges until you walked up this morning looking so cute. So we're going to my place."

"YOU'RE DRIVING ME T' YUGI'S PLACE OR I'M PUNCHIN' YA IN THE FACE!" Joey roared.

The brunet paused. "…Can I kiss you on the way there?"

"UGH." The younger boy threw his hands up in frustration. "Fine, whatever! Just put me down, asshole, and—" He yelped as the brunet's hand drifted up to give his ass a squeeze, then blushed again, grumbling to himself. "I don't know why I put up with your shit, I mean really, you're disgustin', just decidin' what the hell's happenin' without even thinkin' about what _I_ want jeez."

"Would you prefer I walk with you and hold your hand?" Seto asked after a moment, coming to a stop in front of the limo.

Joey grimaced. That sounded much too intimate and… couple-y. He'd much rather just make out with him and then get out of the car and forget it ever happened. "No."

He huffed. He'd never imagined the gag gift would get him into so much trouble.


	166. Confetti: M

Author's Note: HAPPY SINGLES AWARENESS DAY. **:**C Thanks, puppyshipping, for making even this weirdness look superior to being single to me. What a bad day, jeez.

GOSH please forgive me for this crack.

* * *

Confetti

Seto blinked as he walked into his office. He stared for a few moments, then backed out again and shut the doors. He opened them and peeked inside, then shut them again, lips curving down into a frown. "Hmm."

"You know," Midori stated, tapping the end of her pen on her desk idly even as she grinned at him. "Shutting the doors won't make it go away."

"…I was hoping it might." Seto stared at the door mournfully.

He'd wanted to get some word done today, but he didn't know if he could do that if his entire office decked out in pink and red with heart-shaped balloons everywhere, along with large bouquets of red, pink, and white roses. And, if he wasn't mistaken, there was heart-shaped confetti and rose petals flung about everywhere. It would take hours to clean. Hours he'd wanted to spend working.

Mokuba must have been in on it. There was no way Joey could have afforded everything on his own. Not to mention that the balloons had Mokuba written all over them. Joey didn't much care for them, because when they popped, they sounded like gunshots, and it made him nervous.

He sighed and gripped his briefcase tighter. "…If I don't come out in an hour, I've died of confetti inhalation."

Midori glanced away, smirking behind her hand. "Sure. Because of confetti inhalation."

Seto glanced at her in confusion but opened the door and slipped into his office again. "I need to stop sending my secretaries chocolates in the morning. They're weird when they've had chocolate." He brushed some confetti from the desk and gingerly set his briefcase down in the empty spot. "God, what a mess."

"I could… take care of it for ya."

Seto jumped and yelped. "Jeez-!" Spinning around with a glare, he snapped, "What is it with you and hiding and sneaking up on—Oh," he gasped, choking, when he turned and found his boyfriend standing by the door so he'd been hidden behind it when he opened it.

Joey smiled bashfully and pulled at the skirt of his dress. The front of it was an apron that tied up behind his neck in a halter, the bottom half a black skirt with lace underneath it, forcing the skirt up and out. "Ya like it?"

"…Are. You. Trying. To. _Kill. Me?_" Seto hissed, glaring at him.

The blond frowned, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "So ya don't want me t' clean all this up?"

Swallowing thickly, the older boy forced himself not to jump on him when he took in the lacy black stockings that came up to his thighs and were held up by a garter belt. "…You did this on purpose."

"If ya don't jump me while I clean up the confetti, we can have desk sex!" Joey exclaimed cheerfully.

Seto nearly whined. He'd asked about it once and Joey said he didn't need a bigger ego and also the desk didn't sound comfortable to be bent over or laid on and yeah it just wasn't gonna happen.

But it could happen. He had the chance right now. If he could keep himself from mauling his lover, he could have desk sex.

"AGH." Seto threw his hands up and walked around his desk to the chair, slumping down in it with a growl of frustration. "I hate you."

Joey walked over to the desk and leaned over it, smiling. "You're adorable, Seto. And if ya convince me that the sex is worth it even though it's uncomfortable, I might even let ya do me on the desk at home."

"Oh God."

"Ya want me t' take care of the confetti first, or the balloons?"

"Yes."

Joey smiled and tapped the brunet's nose. "Your brain's in your penis now, isn't it?"

"God."

"I'll start with the confetti then."

"Please."

"And then the balloons."

"Can we just do it now?"

"And then I'll find someplace t' put the flowers. Maybe your secretaries will like them."

"Help."

"Help, what?" Joey sighed, rolling his eyes.

Seto squeaked awkwardly. "I got so hard that it actually hurts. Can I at least jack off if I can't pounce on you?"

The blond blinked at him slowly, then giggled, blushing a little. "Oh God, Seto. It's only been a couple minutes."

"It just—boom. Like, as soon as I saw you, I was hard."

"You actually sound like a teenager when you're horny!" Joey smiled and leaned across the desk to kiss him lightly. "You can jack off if ya need to then."

"Thank you. Hey. Did you wear that up here? Because I don't want anyone to have seen you—"

The blond patted his cheek affectionately. "No, stupid, I changed in your bathroom. I'm gonna start cleaning, okay?"

"Okay." Seto paused, then leaned back in his chair and began unbuckling his belt. "I'm going to jack off now."

"'kay. I'm gonna clean up this confetti."

The brunet blinked. "Oh my God you brought your own vacuum."

Joey grinned. "I knew ya had a domestic kink."

"Well, only because it's _you_ doing domestic things…"

"Aw, Seto, that's adorable." He smiled awkwardly, keeping the _'and actually kind of sad'_ to himself, because it showed just how starved of normality he'd been as a child, if normal things like cleaning and cooking for him turned him on.

He didn't blame him, though, because it clearly wasn't his fault. He'd just take it in stride.

Because Seto was sort of cute when he was like this. It made all the effort worth it.


	167. Wet: K Plus

Author's Note: I am so NOT sorry for this. This idea was so cute, I just… GAH. *flails* I don't know if I ended it right, but I just wanted something simple and cute and so normal that it's _abnormal_ for Seto. Gah. Someone send help! I'm drowning in fluff!

* * *

Wet

"Why am I here?"

"Because you love your brother."

"…No, really. Why am I here."

"Because I told ya I wouldn't sleep with ya if ya didn't come," Joey stated firmly, placing his hands on his hips.

Seto's eyes narrowed, though he couldn't tell whether it was from actual annoyance or from the sun's glare on the water. "Fine. I don't understand why I had to chaperone Mokuba to the pool, though. They have lifeguards."

"They needed an adult t' bring 'em."

"You're an adult."

"Do ya really trust me with a dozen kids at a pool, even with a lifeguard?"

Seto grunted, brows furrowing together. He supposed he could see the logic in that. Joey could be an adult, but around younger kids, he usually just went with the flow, because even though he was older, he was still just as reckless as he had been at their age. "Whatever."

The blond chuckled and reached out to poke his nose. "Your nose is wrinkling. It's cute."

"I'm not cute. I'm angry. This is my angry face. I am about to rip my shirt off and snarl like the Hulk because of my rage."

Joey bent down, smiling, and traced the tip of his finger over the brunet's cheek. "You're so nerdy. It's kinda sexy." He paused, then chuckled. "If ya ripped your shirt off, I just might die. …And so would those teenage girls that have been oglin' ya."

Seto's eyebrow twitched. He'd almost forgotten that they were at a public pool while the blond was flirting with him. "You ruined it," he stated darkly, lifting his bare foot to press against the younger teen's chest, and shoved him with all of the strength he could muster.

Joey yelped, arms pin wheeling wildly as he tried to regain his balance. His feet slipped out from under him on the slick cement, and he tumbled head over heels into the water. "AGH. Seto, you stupid—" He wanted to use some bad words, but there were small children running (_Walk!_ The lifeguard roared) amok and he didn't want any middle-aged mothers trying to get him thrown out. He muttered a few curses under his breath as he scrabbled at the side of the pool.

Seto smirked. "You brought it on yourself."

The blond gasped, still winded from the cold water he'd been suddenly immersed in, as he pressed his hands on the concrete and heaved himself out of the water. "Sometimes you're the stupidest jerk!" he snapped, glaring at him.

"Well—" Seto paused awkwardly. His white shirt was sticking to his chest, and it was see-through because of the saturation. He blinked, then sighed, standing up and slipping his feet into the sandals that Joey had forced him to wear. "I have made a terrible mistake."

Joey watched as he walked over to the pool gate and stepped outside, walking over to the limo. He watched him get into the car and raised an eyebrow, placing his hands on his hips again. "Huh."

"If I had a car to get into, I'd walk away, too," one of the sunbathing brunettes called out to him, fanning herself with her hand. "Daaaamn, honey!"

Joey looked down at himself, then blushed a little and rubbed the back of his head. "Ha. Oh. Thanks."

"You two ever break up, I'm free. Damn, those abs, seriously?! How does that happen in real life?!"

The blond chuckled. "A strict regimen of cheeseburgers and being chased by the paparazzi."

She whistled and fanned herself again. "Oh, honey, you're gonna kill me. I'd tell you to turn around, but I bet your ass is even better."

Joey smiled and was about to respond when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and tugged him back over to the seat Seto had left a few minutes ago. "Agh!"

Seto glared at the girl but dragged the blond into his lap as he sat down, hugging him tightly. "Mine."

The brunette raised an eyebrow, then sighed and rolled her eyes, turning back to her friends. "See? Taken or gay."

"Or both!" one of her friends pointed out, and they all giggled.

Joey rolled his eyes. "Seto, I'm gettin' ya all wet."

Seto huffed, burying his face in the blond's neck. "Don't care."

"And ya always go on about how we're both adults," he sighed, patting the brunet's hands.

"Shut up. Adults can have fun, too. I am capable of having fun."

Joey leaned his head back on his shoulder and smiled up at him. "Yeah, I guess you are." He watched the brunet's cheek's tint pink and lifted his head a little to peck the corner of his mouth. "Just had to cool off?"

"…I left my sunscreen in the car," the brunet muttered, holding up the bottle he'd gone to get.

"Ya mean you're getting out from under the umbrella? Call the papers, it's a miracle."

"Your ears are getting pink."

Joey blinked at him in surprise, then blushed, smiling bashfully. "Oh."

"But no, I'm not getting out from under the umbrella. You can, though, after I get this lotion on you. …Fetch me ice-cream when you get up."

"Oh my God, really?!" the blond laughed, batting his hands away. "You're impossible!"

"No, let me put the lotion on you. I'm not dealing with you when you're burned."

"Seto, I'm wet. Ya gotta let me dry out a little or else it'll run everywhere."

"I'd tell you to take off your shirt, but those girls will probably just stare more, and you're mine," Seto stated, but still glared petulantly at the blond's pink ears. "I have a towel. Let me get your ears."

"Seto, do ya want ice-cream or do you wanna put lotion on my ears?"

"Are you seriously asking me to choose my comfort over your health?" the brunet deadpanned. "Because I'm going to say your ears. And your face. And your arms. You're getting pink."

Joey stared at him for a few moments, then covered his mouth, choking back a fairly embarrassing and girlish giggle. "I've just been arguin' so I could hear ya say 'pink' more."

Seto scowled. "There's nothing emasculating about the word 'pink.'"

"Now say purple."

"Oh my g—Go get me ice-cream," the brunet snapped, glaring at him.

Joey laughed and scampered away, dodging the sandal the older boy threw at him. He thought about leaving it there so Seto had to pick it up himself, but the way the brunet was pouting (_I was not pouting,_ Seto would tell him later, glaring at him. _I was sulking. There is a difference._), he knew Seto would rather just leave it behind than admit to doing anything so childish.

And fuck, those sandals were expensive. Even if Seto could by himself dozens more, Joey was still as thrifty as he'd always been and couldn't stand waste.

Even if Seto did slap his arm with the sandal when he came back.


	168. Vomit: M

Author's Note: This is disturbing. I don't even know how I made it so disturbing. I am _disturbing myself._ If the teensy bit of humor in there seems out of place, it's because _I was literally crying and needed to cheer myself up._ It's going to seem like it ended abruptly, but I thought I'd leave it there for you to think about and draw your own conclusions (and also I need a shower because I am covered in my own snot and tears because seriously, this topic?!).

This drabble is based on the eating disorder bulimia nervosa (and mentions of anorexia nervosa) and digs a little into the psychology of it. If this is not your thing or, God forbid, is a trigger for you, please ignore this drabble and wait for the next one. I don't want anyone to be hurt by this; I just wanted to get this out, maybe put a little awareness out there.

If someone you know has an eating disorder, tell someone. It is a serious health problem and the people with that eating disorder may not even realize what a danger it is.

* * *

Vomit

Serenity jumped as the door slammed open, turning her head sharply as it slammed into the wall, hard enough that the doorknob left a hole in the plaster despite the wall being sturdier than the drywall in their old apartment. She blushed in shame when she glanced in the toilet, the contents of her stomach still sitting in the bottom of the bowl, water still swirling wildly from her purging.

She looked up at her brother, swallowed the lump in her throat, and rasped, "I thought I locked it."

Joey glanced at the doorknob, raising his eyebrows, then turned and grabbed one of the hand towels to run it under warm water. He knelt beside her and carefully wiped some of the bile and food from her face, brushing her hair out of her damp eyes. Then he turned and flushed the toilet, dropping the towel on the sink.

Serenity yelped as he suddenly scooped her up, squirming as he carried her out of the bathroom. "Joey, put me down! –At least let me brush my teeth—" She shrieked as he tossed her down on the couch, then glared up at him, tears rolling down her cheeks in anger and shame. "Joey!"

The blond sat down on the coffee table in front of her and lifted his shirt, pointing to his stomach. "Do you know how often I get ulcers? And it's really shitty to get ulcers. I'm nineteen fuckin' years old. Ulcers are for old people or people with stress or people that actually have a genetic problem. I just went t' the doctor. He said my most recent ulcer is all healed up. …For now."

Serenity blinked, sending two more tears rolling down her cheeks. "Ulcers?"

Joey let his shirt fall and instead turned to pull up his sleeve, showing a dark, round bruise on the outside of his arm. "I got this when Seto poked me. He _poked_ me. Don't get me wrong, the guy's got pointy fingers, but he didn't even poke me that hard. I don't bruise as easily as I used to, but I still bruise like a peach."

"…You got that from him poking you?" she asked quietly.

The older boy dropped his sleeve and leaned his elbows on his knees, leaning toward her and frowning. "Doctor says I might get osteoporosis. I can take meds t' keep it from happenin', but the odds are real good that I'm gonna get osteoporosis. That's an old people thing, too. 's why people thought Dad was hittin' me all the time, even though he only hit me once or twice; my bones 'r brittle and with all the fights I got into, I got a fuck ton of fractures."

Serenity frowned, bring a clenched fist up to her chest anxiously. "You… you can't be sure you're going to get osteoporosis, Joey. Surely Kaiba must be—"

"I only have one functioning kidney. They had t' surgically remove one."

She clenched her jaw shut, eyes widening as he shrugged as if it didn't matter. "Joey—"

"'s no big deal. It was failin' anyway. Got in another fight and a guy got a good punch in and ruined what good it was doin'. –Don't worry. You can live with only one functioning kidney," he assured her, smiling. "'nd Kaiba said he'd pay for dialysis for me if I ever need it. Hopefully I won't, and my one kidney will keep chuggin' on."

She hiccupped quietly, horrified. "But Joey, I—"

"Ya know how I got like this?" Joey whispered, leaning closer to her. "It's not 'cause I was gettin' in fights all the time, Ren. I was suffering malnutrition for seven years. And I didn't have a choice. I had t' choose between a roof over our heads and food sometimes. So what I don't understand is… why are ya doin' this t' yourself on purpose? Ya wanna end up like me, all ulcers and osteoporosis and bruises? 'nd when ya throw up all the time, it eats away at your teeth, and it can burn away that piece of skin keepin' your food down, so ya hafta be careful when ya bend over otherwise your food 'll just come back up.

"I'm not mad at ya, Ren. I get it. I know how much pressure there is on girls, so you're thin and pale and pretty." He smiled sadly as she sobbed and threw her arms around his neck, crying into his chest like she was six years old instead of sixteen. "You're so pretty already, Serenity. Ya don't need t' be a size one t' be number one. Ya don't hafta be pale t' be noticed. And Ren—" He cupped her cheeks and made her look back up at his face. "—Ren, you're beautiful.

"I'm not sayin' that 'cause you're my sister. You're a beautiful young lady and you're gonna get through this." She buried her face in his chest again, sniffling loudly. "They got support groups for this. I'm gonna tell Ma. This isn't something I can keep secret, and I hafta tell her."

She shoved him back, eyes wide with terror. "_No!_ Don't tell Mom, Joey! I promise to stop! I promise I won't do it again! Just don't tell Mom!"

Joey frowned. "Ren."

"She'll be so disappointed in me," Serenity gasped, gripping her hair tightly and tugging a little in her panic. "She'll be so disappointed in _herself._ Oh my gosh. I can't do that to her, Joey—She'll blame herself—"

"I hafta tell her, Serenity," Joey stated firmly. "So she can keep an eye on ya when ya go back home."

"_**No!**_" she shrieked, raising her hand and slamming her palm against his cheek before she could stop herself and think about what she was doing—that he was right and she was just scared and her mother wouldn't hate her for this, wouldn't care as long as she was safe, as long as she was _healthy—_

Joey lifted a hand to his cheek, frowning. "Ow."

_He wasn't mad. He understood._

Serenity sobbed and pulled her legs up, hiding her face in her knees as she hugged her legs to her chest. She didn't know how she'd let it get so out of control.

It had started a couple years ago, when she and some of her classmates were planning a beach trip for the summer. She'd wanted to look pretty—sexy, even—and had set her heart on a pretty green bikini because she was finally fourteen and her mother had said she had to wait until she was fourteen before she was allowed to wear one, and even then she'd really prefer a tankini if she wanted a two-piece suit. She'd just purged a few times, lost a few pounds, and had rocked that bikini like no one's business.

Looking back on pictures, after she'd regained the weight she'd lost, she wanted to feel that pretty and confident again. She would have just dieted, but diets were so _slow_ and _tedious_, and everyone could tell you were on them because you ordered salads and nonfat everything and skipped desserts. Purging had been quick, and easy, and all she had to do was brush her teeth and no one would even notice.

And everyone had commented on how good she looked, how thin, and oh wow those were cute jeans! Wow, you're so pale! Wow, you're so thin! Wow, I would kill for hipbones like that! Wow, I wish my stomach was that flat! And wow, you're eating a cheeseburger and fries? I wish I could eat like that and still look like you!

People had _noticed _her, had noticed how thin and pretty she was, and she'd been terrified of losing that, of losing the attention, of losing the admiration her habit had earned her.

Except it wasn't a habit. It was an illness. And it was going to kill her, because it wasn't enough—she still wanted to go to the bathroom and throw up again, lose a few more pounds, because people would think she was even prettier and thinner. Even knowing that what she was doing was wrong and dangerous and _would eventually kill her_ did nothing to stop her need to purge again, because what if she hadn't gotten everything out before Joey had stopped her?!

Serenity wanted to scream, wanted to break something, wanted to break _herself._ Except she already was broken, she was hurting herself already, she was wrecking herself, she was _killing_ herself, and she had no one to blame _but_ herself, because she was _fat ugly useless boring stupid—_

Joey sat down on the couch and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. "Serenity, you're so beautiful, and smart, and _kind._ You're perfect. There's nothin' wrong with your body when you're healthy." He gave her a small squeeze as her sobs began to quiet. "You're wonderful just the way ya are, Ren."

"I'm so sorry, Joey, I'm so sorry!" she wailed. "I'm sorry! I don't know how I got like this! I don't know how I let it get so out of hand! I'm so _sorry!_"

He nuzzled the top of her head and sighed, frowning a little as she continued to sob. "…'m sorry I wasn't there t' stop ya when ya began."

He jumped a little as something was set down on the couch beside him and turned his head sharply, narrowed eyes meeting startled blue ones. He scowled, expression clearly asking, _'What the fuck do you think you're doing, distracting me while I'm trying to comfort my baby sister?!'_

Seto glanced away awkwardly, then set a chicken salad sandwich on the couch next to the—

…Giant. Purple. Unicorn plush.

Joey's face must have shown his confusion and anger and the expression of just plain _what the fuck._

"…Girls like unicorns," Seto muttered, frowning. "And there was an extra sandwich."

Joey stared. "Where did you get the unicorn?"

The brunet stared back at him for a few moments before slinking backward, out of the room.

Joey stared some more. "…What."

Serenity turned her head and couldn't help a smile when she saw the giant plush toy. She pulled it into her arms and hugged it. "Pony."

The blond wanted to explode. Instead, he simply sighed. "…And a sandwich."

She sniffled and pet the unicorn's mane, toying with some of the tinsel in the faux fur, then looked up at him with still-wet eyes. "…Split it with me?"

Joey sighed again and smiled a little. "Yeah, okay. But you get the big half."

She smiled back hesitantly. "Okay."

As she was finishing her sandwich, though, she leaned her head back on the back of the couch and stared up at the vaulted ceiling. "…You really have to tell Mom?"

"Yeah, Serenity, I think I do. It's not somethin' ya just _stop._ It takes time and effort and you're gonna have some really bad days." He turned his head to smile at her. "But I think you'll get through it okay. Finish your sandwich."

"'kay," she murmured, picking off the crust of the bread and slowly tearing the rest of the sandwich apart to push into her mouth so she wouldn't have to chew it. "…Joey?"

"Huh?" he answered, reaching out to grab one of her hands as he leaned his head back to stare up at the ceiling too, remembering days before, happier days, when they'd been staring up at the clouds and giggling instead of staring up at a ceiling and crying.

Serenity hesitated before quietly asking, "…Why does your boyfriend have a giant stuffed unicorn toy?"

Joey's brows furrowed together. "Serenity, I have no fuckin' clue. It's one of those things where I hafta decide whether it's worth it to ask."

"…Is this worth it?"

"Jeez, no. If ya knew half the shit he gets up to, I mean seriously."

She smiled, giggling a little. "Does this mean I get to keep it?"

"Yeah. 'cause he's a freak. He'd probably be happier if ya never brought it up, either. He was tryin' t' sneak it in here."

"Okay." Serenity stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes longer, smile fading, before she turned to look up at him again. "Joey?"

The blond sighed and looked down at her. "Huh?"

She bit her bottom lip. "…How did you know?"

Joey stared at her for several minutes, trying to figure out what he wanted to say, before he finally sighed again and cupped her cheeks, leaning his forehead against hers gently. "You're not the first person I've known with an eating disorder, Ren."

She frowned in concern, but at the same time, she was almost excited, because at least she'd have someone to talk to about it, to know what she could expect as she tried to heal and make better choices. "Téa? Mai?"

The blond's eyes flickered momentarily toward the giant purple unicorn. "…No."

Serenity turned to look up at him, then glanced at the toy. She looked back up at him again quickly. "No way—"

Joey smiled sadly and shrugged. "Guys get insecure about their bodies too, Serenity." He didn't mention that Seto wasn't anorexic because he'd believed he was fat. Gozaburo had twisted his psyche so that food—a decent meal—was a reward for being perfect, and on days Seto didn't feel he got enough done, he felt he didn't deserve food.

But Serenity didn't need to know that. And he was sure Seto would pitch him out the window if he told her, anyway, because _he wasn't broken he was fine he just forgets to eat sometimes okay._

Serenity lifted a hand to pull on her bottom lip idly, something she'd done as a child and hadn't quite grown out of, kind of like Joey would still play with his fingers when he thought. Finally, though, she jumped to her feet, gathering the unicorn in her arms as she turned back to him. "I'd still really like to thank him for the unicorn, though. It would be rude not to."

Joey's answering expression clearly conveyed that he thought it was a bad idea and also if she provoked Seto into killing her, he'd have to kill Seto, and then Mokuba would be all alone and would hate him for it but would sort of understand because his brother killed _her_ and he'd feel guilty about that and would still feel the need to come visit him in prison because seriously, murder, not cool.

Serenity blinked. "Uh." She bit her bottom lip to keep herself from smiling. Even though they couldn't see each other very often, she still knew her brother enough that he didn't even need to actually say things. "I'll be right back."

Joey watched her go, brows furrowing together. He wondered when she'd started ignoring the things he said (and, perhaps, didn't say but still expressed through his face which, come on, anyone could read like a book if they tried) so flippantly that it almost made him angry.

He didn't like it.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Serenity went up to the brunet's office, finally hesitating at the door. What was she supposed to say? 'Oh, I have an eating disorder, too! Let's bond over it?' That would only end in tears. Kaiba tolerated her because her brother would punt him into an early grave if he didn't, but he didn't exactly trust her.

He didn't seem to trust anyone, really. That thought made her sad.

She took a deep breath and knocked quickly, before she could lose her nerve.

"Enter."

She scoffed. Enter. He could have said it more kindly. Then again, from what she'd seen, Joey and Mokuba just kind of waltzed on in; only the maids knocked first.

…Even if Seto _did_ bodily heave Joey and Mokuba back out in frustration sometimes.

Serenity opened the door and poked her head in, unable to help rolling her eyes when she saw him typing away on his laptop, like he always seemed to be doing whenever she saw him. Maybe it was some weird thing where if he didn't type a certain amount of hours a day, he'd shut down. People created robots with weird handicaps. It wouldn't surprise her if Kaiba was one of them.

Seto glanced up at her sharply. "_What?_"

"Uh. Oh. Um." She flushed a little. She knew logically that he was the CEO of a major company and probably had to work a lot as well, but actually seeing it happen was different (and now she felt bad for thinking he was a sad little robot). "I wanted… to… come thank you."

"For what?" he asked, looking back at his screen.

She gaped. There was no way he had not seen the giant purple unicorn plush toy in her arms.

Her brother was dating a bag of crazy.

She hesitated before stepping into the room and walking over to stand beside him, holding the unicorn between them like a buffer. "Um. Kaiba."

Seto narrowed his eyes and the screen and sighed through his nose, then rolled them and turned to face her. "Yes, Serenity."

Well. He was trying to be friendly, she decided, staring at him. At least, Joey said this was trying.

…She worried about her brother sometimes.

"…Can I help you with something?" Seto asked after a few tense moments.

Serenity opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Seto raised an eyebrow.

She didn't know what made her ask. He wasn't exactly friendly, didn't have that 'you can talk to me' vibe. Still, it didn't stop the words from bubbling out of her mouth and spilling. "Joey says I'm going to have bad days. How long did it take before _you_ stopped having bad days?"

Seto blinked at her slowly. "…I don't understand the question."

She blushed and ducked her head. "He's going to tell Mom about my… about the purging. He said I'll have bad days. When did your bad days stop?"

The brunet frowned. "I don't think you understand. It doesn't eventually just _go away._ It is a struggle every day. Eventually, you won't have to struggle so much. But it's still a struggle."

Serenity felt tears forming in her eyes. She just wanted everything to go away. She just wanted to go to bed and forget that any of this ever happened, that she'd wake up and be fine and eat like a normal person and love herself.

But she already wanted to throw up the half of the sandwich she'd eaten.

Seto frowned. "I'm not saying it to discourage you. I'm just telling you what Joey is telling you—what he's _going_ to tell you. It's going to be difficult. You will be hurt. Some days, you'll fail, and you'll feel the shame down to your bones." He paused as he watched her bury her face in the plush toy's fur, then continued, "But you'll keep trying to get better. Do you know why?"

She looked up at him and shook her head, sniffling. "No."

"Because on your good days, Joey is going to smile at you," Seto told her quietly. "He's going to smile that big, stupid, goofy grin, and his chest is going to puff out because he's so proud of you. And your mother will smile the same way, because she'll be happy that her child is getting better. And they'll be disappointed on your bad days, when you fail, but that's just going to make you try even harder, so they smile again. You will succeed, because you want to make the people you care about happy."

She sniffed again. "Kaiba, when was your last bad day?"

At that, the brunet looked quite uncomfortable. He glanced away, eyes flickering over the unicorn for a moment before turning on the wall. "…I gave you my sandwich."


	169. Rye: K Plus

Author's Note: This domesticity kink came out of freakin' nowhere, man. I like established, happy, domestic puppyshipping, and I feel like I should have known that, but it's like I'm only just know realizing it.

THIS FLUFF IS KILLING ME! SOMEONE SEND HELP AAAAHHHHH! *drowning in fluff*

* * *

Rye

Seto paused as he heard humming, fiddling with his tie as he tried to decide whether to loosen it, take it off, or wait until he got to his bedroom to change completely. On one hand, he was tired after his long day, but on the other, Joey really enjoyed grabbing his tie and yanking him to kiss him (and he enjoyed it too, because, really, who wouldn't enjoy being yanked down to kiss that talented mouth?). After a pause, he shrugged and pushed through the swinging kitchen door.

He smiled when he saw Joey kneading some dough and approached the opposite side of the island, sitting at one of the stools. "What are you making?"

"Bread. It's the one thing the chef doesn't make fresh. Ah—Not that he gets shitty bread, o' course, he gets it at the fancy bakery in town, but there's really somethin' t' be said about homemade, right?" He looked up from the dough and smiled brightly. "Since we're havin' ham for dinner, I thought we could have some fresh bread for sandwiches tomorrow."

"I love you."

Joey blinked at him slowly. "…Uh. Love you too."

Seto blushed a little. "Sorry. That was a little abrupt."

"That's okay. It's just plain old wheat bread, though, so it's really nothin' t' get excited about." He didn't mention that he thought it was adorable when Seto got excited over the simplest things—cleaning up after him, cooking for him, even just cuddling with him. "They're just ham sandwiches, no need t' flip. Although if ya did flip, I think I might faint."

"…I can flip on a trampoline." The brunet paused. "…At least, I could when I was ten. Certainly I could now."

Joey had the terrible vision of Seto on a trampoline, trying to flip, and breaking his neck. "Please don't."

Seto looked up at him and frowned, brows furrowing together a little in confusion. When the blond merely shrugged, he scowled. "Are you mocking me?"

The younger boy sighed and rolled his eyes, reaching out to grab his tie and pull him forward so he could brush a kiss over his mouth. "—Got flour on yer tie. Sorry."

The brunet smiled, leaning in for one last peck before he felt the grip on his tie relax. "Who cares? Not me."

"Hmm." Joey raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "Well, maybe a little. But I can buy another one if this one doesn't come clean, so…" Seto looked down at the mound of dough as the blond began kneading it again, then looked back up at him. "Can you…" he trailed off, then hunched his shoulders awkwardly, regretting his decision to speak immediately.

Joey picked up on it immediately. Seto didn't ask him for a lot, because asking for something could mean rejection, and he knew that the brunet didn't like putting himself in the position _to_ be rejected. He did everything he possibly could to say yes whenever his lover asked him for something to try and relieve some of that terror. "I can do anything because I'm amazin'. Whatcha want?"

"…You don't have to."

"I wanna." When the brunet hesitated a little too long, he reached out to grab his tie and yank him forward again, scowling. "TELL ME."

Seto squeaked in surprise (and would deny he squeaked until the day he died), then blushed a little when the blond moved his hands to the lapels of his jacket and growled (he would deny that an aggravated Joey was an attractive Joey until he died as well). "I would really like some marbled rye bread."

"Oh." Joey let go of his jacket and watched him fall back on the stool, biting his lip to keep from laughing when he flailed as the stool teetered at the sudden change in weight. Once all of the stool's legs were firmly on the floor again, he allowed himself an amused huff. "Sorry."

"You're not sorry at all," the brunet snapped, still a little flustered. "And if I'd fallen, you would have laughed."

"…Well I never said I wasn't an asshole, so… yeah, I woulda."

"UGH." Seto glared at him, but yeah, that was sort of attractive about him, too (deny, deny, _deny_).

Joey smiled at him. "Look up a good recipe for me online then and bring it to me. Why marbled, though? Why not just rye?"

_Yessss, marbled rye._

"…Seto?"

"Uh." Seto blinked, then blushed a little. "Oh. That's the only rye Mokuba will eat."

The blond raised an eyebrow, then smiled, leaning over the counter as he whispered, "Seto, do you like marbled rye bread?"

"…It's as close as I'll get, so—"

"What if I made a loaf of wheat bread for Mokuba and made you a whole loaf of rye bread that you could eat all to yourself?"

Seto blinked at him again, stunned, then threw his hands up triumphantly as if he'd won a duel against Yugi. "YES."

Joey laughed and leaned back, using the back of his hand to swipe some hair out of his face after it had fallen from his ponytail. Sometimes he forgot that Seto was also a teenager until he did things like this. "I'll make it after I finish this batch, 'kay?"

"You are the best everything ever."

"Yeah? And what does a 'best everything ever' get in return?"

Seto paused, then quietly answered (asked), "Kisses?"

Joey grinned and walked around the island to come stand in front of him as he turned on the stool, placing a hand on the counter on either side of him. "How many kisses?"

"All of them."

"All of the kisses?" The blond's smile shrank a little, which would have been alarming if Seto didn't already know that his smile became more genuine the smaller it got. "Seto, you're such a romantic dork."

"…You're welcome."

Joey leaned in to kiss him lightly, nipping at his bottom lip until the brunet kissed him back (because he was a jerk like that and withheld kisses even when he said he deserved them, but that was okay, because he liked working for it sometimes). Leaning back, he smiled up at him again. "Don't ever change, okay?"

Seto frowned, brows furrowing together. "Why would I ever?"

That was one of the reasons he loved him; he was so dumb. But it was cute, so he could deal with it. "Never mind. Find me a recipe for rye bread that looks good and print it out for me."

The brunet leaned in to kiss him again before gently pushing him backward so he could slide off the stool. "I'll go look one up right now."

"…I bet ya have a bunch of tabs for rye bread already bookmarked and you were just tryin' t' figure out how t' ask me without soundin' needy," Joey teased, laughing a little.

Seto paused and looked at him awkwardly.

"Oh, seriously?!" the blond exclaimed. "I was just kiddin'!"

"…I don't know what you're talking about—"

"Too late, ya already admitted it by not sayin' anything. I'm gonna tease ya about it for weeks."

Seto sighed and rolled his eyes, grabbing his shoulders to firmly move him out of the way. "I suppose there's no point in telling you to shut up then." He was about to just stride out of the room and sulk (not pout, thank you very much) for a few minutes before he printed out one of the recipes he had indeed bookmarked, but then the younger boy grabbed his tie again.

Joey tugged on his tie gently to pull him down for one last kiss before letting him go. "Don't sulk too long."

Ugh, he knew him to well.

Seto yelped as the blond swatted his ass and turned to glare at him before looking down at the seat of his pants. There was a handprint of white flour. He shot him an even more venomous glare because _fuck he had to have this cleaned before he wore it again_—

But then he watched Joey fall to the ground laughing and couldn't help the corner of his mouth quirking up as well.


	170. Down the Rabbit Hole: T

Author's Note: I don't know how to Tumblr. **:**C I am supremely bad at it.

Also, yes, all of these Tumblrs exist. Look them up if you don't believe me.

* * *

Down the Rabbit Hole (of the Internet)

Joey stared as he watched his lover's shoulders shake with suppressed laughter. "What are you doing?"

Seto paused, eyes wide, before he schooled his expression into his regular blasé stare. "Nothing."

"…Are you making fun of people in porn again?"

"It's not my fault that their moans and dirty talk are so cheesy." The brunet tilted his head, then continued, "And no, I am _not._"

Joey narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. "Then what _are_ you doin'?"

"…Amusing myself without harming anyone else."

He supposed that was the best he could hope for, really. Seto still laughed with genuine mirth when other people got hurt on those Funniest Videos shows on TV. …Seto might kind of be a bad person.

"…Yeeeeah. Sure." The blond stared at him a moment longer before sighing and turning his attention back to his math homework, running a hand through his hair even as the brunet began to chuckle to himself again.

He couldn't tell if Seto was a bad person or just supremely weird. Knowing his luck, it was probably both.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I'm hungry. You want anything, Seto?"

Seto jumped. "AGH."

Joey stared at him. "…Uh."

"…I've been sitting here for two hours? …SHIT I'M LATE." He stood and rushed over to the door, turning back to the blond frantically. "If Mokuba calls, I got stuck in traffic on the way to his school. He's going to kill me!"

The blond pursed his lips as he watched the brunet struggle into his shoes and grab a jacket. "I'm not gonna lie for ya."

"Oh come on—Please?!" he exclaimed, frowning.

"…Pick up a chocolate cream pie all for me on the way home and you've got yourself a deal," Joey stated, crossing his arms.

"…I can't even have a bite?"

"I should text Mokuba and tell him you're just leavin' the house—"

"OH MY GOD FINE. You are a terrible person. The absolute worst," Seto muttered, opening the door and hissing when the sun hit his eyes. "Damn it!"

"I'm sorry, who's late for a parent-teacher meetin' for their little brother?" Joey drawled, raising an eyebrow.

The brunet rolled his eyes and snarled, "UGH, ME. Shut up." He slammed the door shut behind him and ran down the steps to the limo waiting for him.

Joey watched him go, then grinned, scampering over to his laptop to see what had amused him so much the past few hours. His grin immediately fell. "Oh my God. He actually Tumbls."

It had probably started out as watching out for Mokuba's Tumblr blog, making sure he didn't post anything inappropriate that would reflect on either of them badly. Apparently, it had become somewhat of a hobby for him.

Joey clicked around to find his homepage (he didn't use the internet for anything but gaming for a reason, okay?) and finally found it under the heading of 'dashboard.' He wrinkled his nose. That was stupid.

Once the dashboard was open, his brows furrowed together when he saw what it was that Seto followed. "Oh my God."

Hungover Owls. He followed a page called _Hungover Owls_. All pictures of owls doing wonky stuff with their eyes or lying down or derping. What. Why was this-? Seto wasn't the type of person to find this funny.

…Was he?

Apparently, yes, because he had reblogged several of the pictures.

"…Accidental Chinese Hipsters," Joey whispered, eyebrows going up so high they almost disappeared into his hairline. "What the ever-loving fuck."

Luckily, he had a bunch of Duel Monsters pictures reblogged, otherwise he would have had to disown him. Not just break up with him, but disown him, move to another country, and claim he had never even _heard_ of Seto Kaiba.

Joey blinked, then leaned toward the laptop screen in confusion. When he actually registered what he was seeing, however, he jerked backward with a screech of laughter. "OH MY GOD WHAT!"

He followed a blog called "Sharks with Anime Eyes."

Joey laughed so hard he cried because Seto might be weird, but clearly not as weird as other people because they were drawing _anime eyes_ on _sharks_.


	171. Dance: K Plus

Author's Note: WHY DOES THIS MAKE SENSE TO ME

* * *

Dance

"Sorry, Kaiba. I don't have time to duel you today," Yugi answered before the brunet could even begin to ask his question. He looked up at the doors to the school, going up on his toes to try and get a better view of them. Joey was supposed to get out of detention fifteen minutes ago.

"…Actually, I was going to ask for the homework from math class. I was out on a call when the teacher was putting it up on the board."

Yugi flushed a little. "Oh. Sorry. Sure." He opened his bag and shuffled through his papers until he finally found his math folder. He hissed in annoyance when he dropped his bag and bent to pick it up, holding it in his arm as he flipped through the folder to that day's homework. "Here, Kaiba." He pushed the folder at him, waiting for him to take it. When the older boy didn't, he scowled and looked up at him. "What?!"

Seto wasn't even looking at him. He was looking toward the school. …His eye was twitching.

Yugi frowned in confusion and turned to see what he was looking at. He raised an eyebrow when he saw it was just Joey, because really, Joey hadn't even done anything to annoy him yet, just smiled his regular goofy grin, then—

…Then Joey stopped, eyes closed, and swung his arms up, whipping his hips back and forth so his body swayed so hard his iPod swung from side to side. He whipped his arms back and forth opposite to his hips before dropping his bag and turning, moonwalking backward a few steps before spinning around again.

He dropped backward, almost as if he'd slipped, but caught himself on his hands and flipped himself around so he was facing the ground, whipping his legs around before finally using the momentum to jump back onto his feet, hopping a few times so he didn't lose his balance, then he _did a fucking flip_. He swung his hips a few more times, arms flying out as he spun again and bent to scoop up his bag and skip-dance-hop over to them.

Joey paused his iPod, looked up at them, and smiled brightly, opening his mouth.

Seto immediately pointed in his face with a thunderous expression. "NO."

The blond's smile faltered. "Uh."

The older boy glared at him a moment longer before turning and sweeping into the waiting limo, slamming the door shut with a little more force than necessary.

Joey and Yugi watched the car pull away, eyes wide, before the smaller boy jumped a little and waved after him. "Kaiba, wait! You forgot the math homework!"

But the limo didn't even slow down.

Yugi frowned, hands falling down at his sides in defeat. "Jeez, what was that all about?"

Joey looked down at his iPod and blinked, brows furrowed together, before he chuckled to himself and clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Come on, Yug'. Téa and Tristan are probably at each other's throats and Ryou's no match for either of 'em."

The smaller boy looked skeptical. "Joey, do you know what that was? Because that was weird, even for Kaiba."

"Nah. That's his normal weird." The blond jumped a little as his phone vibrated. "Ah, that's probably Tristan." He pulled out his phone and opened the text message.

_**You do things that make me want to maul you on purpose. Stop it.**_

Joey smirked, because he had a thick skin that soaked up even the most backhanded of compliments like a sponge, even if Seto Kaiba did give off more creepy vibes than a haunted house clown.

…He hadn't ever given the brunet his number.


	172. Sappy: K

Author's Note: Is it just me, or would Yugi and Téa be the world's sappiest couple? I mean, I have friends that do this, and I love them to death, but _God,_ sometimes I want to throw up because they're so disgustingly in love with each other. I'm happy for them (when I think of happy couples I'd love to emulate, I think of them!), but I'm also disgusted.

* * *

Sappy

"I have a dance class, so I gotta run, hus-bear," Téa cooed, leaning down to rub her nose playfully against Yugi's. "Let's go out for lunch after, okay?"

"Okay, wife-bear," he answered, smiling brightly. "Burger World?"

She grimaced. "Uh… Maybe I'll get a salad…"

Joey frowned. "You burn more calories dancin' then you'd eat at Burger World."

Téa pursed her lips. "Yes, but all the waitresses give me dirty looks whenever I have a double-bacon cheeseburger, like I'm making them fat by proxy."

"Ya point 'em out t' me and I'll give 'em the stink eye for ya," Joey offered, smiling.

She had no doubt he would. Joey had weaseled his way into being a third wheel on a date more than a few times, but she'd never really minded, because he was always helpful (well, okay, she minded a little, because they were _dates,_ not friendly outings). If any of the waiters or waitresses were rude (and it happened surprisingly often, because apparently teenagers weren't allowed to eat in nice restaurants?), he always got the manager, and while one or two managers had sneered at him, he had always gotten them in trouble with the owner. Luckily, he'd learned that he wasn't always welcome on their dates, but he always offered to come, put the wait staff in their places, and then leave, and she appreciated that about him.

"Thanks, but I think I can handle it this time," she answered, smiling. "We're doing a foxtrot today, so I think I'll burn double calories anyway."

"I think you're beautiful either way, Téa," Yugi told her, and it would have been corny if he wasn't so sincere.

"Aw, thanks, hus-bear," she replied, leaning in for another Eskimo kiss.

Joey rolled his eyes. "Gag."

Yugi turned to scowl at him. "Oh, like you and Kaiba don't do sappy things."

"Oh, yeah, I say 'have a good day at work, asshole' and he says, 'you too, mutt' and then we go our separate ways," the blond replied, smiling.

They stared at him.

His smile slowly faded into a frown. "…What?"

"…I worry about you sometimes," Téa sighed, patting him on the head, then smiled and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Try not to give Yugi too much trouble."

Yugi pouted. "How come he gets a real kiss and I only get Eskimo kisses?"

She winked at him even as she walked out of the shop. "Because if I kissed _you,_ we'd make out and I'd be late for my dance class!" She laughed and gave them a wave before the door shut and she turned to power walk to her class.

Yugi leaned his head on his hand and sighed, smiling a little. "She's great…"

"_Gag._"

The smaller boy turned to glare at him again. "Seriously, you don't do anything sappy or corny with Kaiba?"

"…I tried once. He was not receptive," the blond deadpanned. "He's just not a sappy person. A closet romantic sometimes, but not sappy. He takes things way too literally t' be sappy."

"…What'd you do?"

Joey snorted at the memory, because even though it had hurt at the time, he really shouldn't have expected anything less of his lover. "I called him a snuggle-monster while we were cuddlin' because he wraps around me like an octopus and he threw me on the floor and said monsters weren't nice."

Yugi laughed so hard he cried.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Thanks for watching the shop for us, Joey!" Yugi said, holding the door open for Téa. He blinked in surprise. "Oh. Hi, Kaiba."

Seto inclined his head but didn't look up from his book.

Téa giggled. "Well at least your grandpa doesn't have to worry about _Joey_ scaring customers away because he's acting on his hormones."

"Oh my God, that lady only complained about us kissing because she was an angry, shriveled old shrew!" Yugi exclaimed, flushing a little.

"Aw, it's okay, hus-bear." She ran her thumb over his from where their hands were still entwined.

He smiled up at her. "Thanks, wife-bear."

Joey rolled his eyes. "_Gag._"

Seto looked up, brows furrowing together in confusion. He glanced at Joey.

Joey scowled. "Don't ruin this for them. Yugi, we're leavin'."

"But—" The brunet began.

The younger boy hopped the counter and grabbed his hand, dragging him toward the door. "No. _No._ God, Kaiba, can't ya let other people be sappy?!"

"But—" Seto began again.

"_NO,_ SETO, _GOD._ Just let them be happy!" Joey snapped, dragging him out the door that Yugi was still holding open.

"But bears _aren't monogamous!_" Seto cried out in confusion, before he was stuffed in the limo and Joey was slamming the door behind them.

Téa and Yugi watched the limo pull away from the curb. Yugi pursed his lips. "Joey's right. He takes things way too literally to be sappy."

"…You know, all those times in school when I wondered why Kaiba was always so quiet? Now I realize it's probably better that he was," Téa muttered. "I don't think he would have been as popular as he was if the girls knew what a huge dork he was."


	173. Kaiba, King of Dorks: T

Author's Note: I was talking with willowsnake about how Seto would be a know-it-all after my last drabble (bears aren't monogamous, why would you know that shit, Kaiba?), and I kept coming up with scenarios for random facts with the rest of the group. And since Seto has zero knowledge of appropriate conversation in public, it turned into a bunch of hilarity.

If you're wondering why Téa takes Seto being Seto so well, here was the conversation between willowsnake and I about it:  
Reizbar: Why do I feel like Téa would tolerate dorky-inappropriate Kaiba really well?  
Willow: Look at who she hangs around with all the time.  
Reizbar: HAHAHAHAHA *dissolves into tears*  
Willow: …  
Reizbar: I'm sorry for her. OTL

Also I just crammed all of them into one drabble, because posting a series of chapters one after the other after I wrote them all seemed like too much work. **:**p Enjoy!

* * *

Kaiba, King of Dorks

"Did you know that humans produce ten thousand gallons of saliva in their lifetimes?"

Yami glanced up at him, hand hovering over the piece of paper between them. The tip of his pencil tapped against the counter as his grip slackened in surprise.

Seto continued, "And did you know that humans cannot taste food until it's dissolved in that saliva?"

The Egyptian blinked at him slowly. "…Kaiba, we're in the middle of tic-tac-toe."

"…I thought it was interesting," the brunet mumbled, and looked back down at the paper. He waited for the other man to make his move before making his own. "Cat's game."

"WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS GAME IF IT ALWAYS ENDS IN A TIE!?" Yami screamed, scribbling angrily over the paper.

Seto slowly stepped back, because the man looked somewhat murderous.

…He might even be foaming at the mouth a bit.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Kaiba, do you have the English homework? Joey didn't write it down and I missed it for a doctor's appointment, and no one else is in our English class," Téa explained, running up beside him before he could get into his limo. "I'll just write it down real quick and you can get back on your way."

Seto scowled. "No you won't."

She frowned and clasped her hands together. "Please, Kaiba?"

"I'm saying 'no, you won't' because the teacher is Satan and assigned us several assignments, so there will be nothing quick about this."

Téa's eye twitched because she was a lady and ladies did not curse. BUT IF THEY DID, SHE WOULD HAVE. "…Oh. Could I please copy the homework, Kaiba?"

Seto flipped through his planner and handed it to her. "Here."

She smiled at him and decided to give him some of the cookies she'd be baking that night because she'd kind of expected him to slam the door in her face and drive away without a second glance. "Thanks, Kaiba!"

When she saw the list of reading and all of the questions that needed to be answered about them, her lips thinned. She probably wouldn't be able to make the cookies for a few days then. She sighed and pulled out her planner as well to copy the assignments.

Seto watched her for a few minutes, growing more and more impatient, before he finally blurted out, "Did you know that both sharks and vaginas have a substance called squalene?"

Téa blinked slowly before lifting her gaze to his. "…Oh, really?"

"It exists in shark livers and is a natural vaginal lubricant," he continued, because clearly he'd opened the door so he might as well walk through it and take his lumps.

"…I see." She stared at him for a moment, then returned to copying the homework. When she was finished, she looked up at him again and passed his planner back, smiling a little. "Well, I guess that just gives new meaning to the term 'shark week.'"

Seto blinked at her. "What's 'shark week?'"

"Uh." Téa blanched; she hadn't signed up for this. "Uh." She glanced around awkwardly, spotted her friends, and immediately began running toward them. "Thank you for the homework Kaiba bye!"

The brunet frowned, brows furrowing together in confusion as he called after her, "What's shark week?!"

At that, every female student near him whipped around with a glare so venomous that he cringed. He glanced around awkwardly before slinking backward into the limo and closing the door as quietly as possible so he didn't incite a riot. He did not want to be beaten to death by a bunch of girls. He wanted a death nobler than that. …He didn't even know what a shark week was.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"So I heard being a vegetarian is the next big thing. Do you think Serenity might dig that?"

Seto rolled his eyes and sighed, eyebrow twitching. He stayed in the classroom for a reason: so he didn't have to listen to his stupid classmate's petty problems in the lunch room. He turned and hissed in annoyance, because of _course_ it was Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.

Duke frowned and tapped the desk idly. "I don't know. She might. She always gets a salad when we go to Burger World."

"Joey says that's because she likes to save room for the milkshakes though," Tristan muttered, slouching in his seat.

Seto rolled his eyes again and worried for a moment that they'd roll right out of his eye sockets, and then realized that was stupid because clearly the only person capable of making his eyes pop out with rage or confusion was Joey, because he went out of his way to put him in a tizzy. "Studies show that while women view vegetarian men as more principled, they also consider them 'less macho' than men who eat meat."

They turned to look up at him in surprise. After a moment, Tristan frowned. "So, no, then?"

Duke rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Sounds like it could go either way. Does Serenity like macho or principled better?"

Seto snorted in disgust. "Considering that she holds men to the same standard as her brother and Wheeler is both highly principled and very macho, I'd say you're better off dating someone else."

Tristan groaned. "Noooo I can't compare to Joey!"

Duke smirked. "That's for sure."

The brunet immediately glared at him. "At least I'm closer than you, asshole! Remember Keith?! He thought you were a chick!"

The other boy snarled angrily. "I thought we decided never to discuss it!"

Tristan grinned. "Uh, no, _you_ decided that, not me—"

"GET OUT AND LET ME READ IN PEACE!" Seto bellowed, glaring at them.

Tristan and Duke shared a short, terrified glance before scampering out of the room.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto adjusted his scarf around his neck, breath coming out in frosty puffs as he stepped out of his limo and approached the game shop. Apparently they'd gotten a new set of Capsule Monsters and Mokuba wanted them before anyone else but he had soccer practice so would he please pick them up for him please please please?!

The brunet huffed. He was a sucker for his brother's doe eyes, damn it.

Hearing a startled squawk, he turned, just in time to see Joey reach out and steady Yugi when he almost slipped and fell on some ice. He stared, noticing it was a good thing Joey was helping him because with that coat on, he didn't think Yugi would be able to throw his arms out and catch himself.

On the other hand, his coat was so padded that he probably wouldn't even get hurt.

As the two approached him, he said, "Did you know that a group of penguins in the water is called a 'raft,' but a group of penguins on land is called a 'waddle?'"

Yugi sighed and looked up at him tiredly. "Why is that relevant, Kaiba?"

"…You remind me of a penguin when you wear that coat and are waddling so you don't slip and fall on the ice," Seto answered, then opened the door and stepped into the game shop.

Yugi flailed angrily even as he struggled toward the door. "Grandpa! Whatever he wants, don't sell it to him!"

His grandfather frowned in confusion. "Why not?"

"Because he called me a penguin!"

Instead of sympathizing, like the younger boy had hoped, he merely laughed. "I told your mother that you'd look like a penguin, but she insisted!"

"OH MY GOD I HATE EVERYONE!" Yugi roared, stomping into the shop and leaving clumps of snow behind him as he stormed into the kitchen. Or… tried to. He yelped as he got caught in the doorway. "AGH!"

"Yug', calm down. You're gonna have an aneurism," Joey sighed, walking over to shove him through the door. "Take your coat off."

"I AM NOT A PENGUIN."

"Penguins are cute, Yug'."

"I AM NOT CUTE. I AM RUGGEDLY HANDSOME."

"…Uh."

Yugi whined even as the blond helped him unzip his coat. "I don't want to be a penguiiiin!"

"Téa likes penguins, I think," Joey muttered. He flinched as the smaller teen immediately beamed at him. "Ugh, Yug', whatever you're thinkin', keep it to yourself."

Seto watched them for a few more seconds before turning to the older man. "Mokuba says you're holding his Capsule Monster set for me."

"Of course! He's one of our best customers!" he laughed, reaching under the counter for the box.

The brunet stared at the set sourly. "I bet he is."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey looked up as a shadow fell across his face, squinting into the sun when it blinded him. Once his eyes adjusted, he sighed when he saw it was Seto. "Whatta ya want, Kaiba?"

He wanted to ask why Joey was eating his lunch alone, but considering that even _he_ needed a break after any run-in with that group, he figured they needed a break from each other at some point, too. Damn, he'd forgotten his real reason for approaching him. Better bullshit. "Did you know that most men prefer brunettes over blondes as serious mates, because they view brunettes as more reliable and steady?"

The blond glared at him. "Are you insultin' me?"

Seto frowned. "…I actually wasn't trying to, this time."

"…So are ya flirtin' with me, then?" Joey asked, raising an eyebrow.

"…What."

"It's okay if ya are, I guess. I'm a fine specimen of a man, after all."

"But I wasn't," the older boy began, then sighed in frustration and sat down beside him. "Whatever. You hear what you want to anyway."

The blond shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich. "Neh. Say what ya want."

…He had two more sandwiches in his lunchbox. He knew Joey was a bottomless pit, but seeing it was always shocking.

"Did you know that the largest item found on any menu is a roasted camel?"

Joey stopped mid-chew, lowering his sandwich as he turned to give the brunet a stare. He chewed and swallowed his bite after a moment and raised an eyebrow.

Seto paused awkwardly, then continued, "The camel is cleaned and then stuffed with one lamb, twenty chickens, and sixty eggs."

The blond stared at him for a few more minutes before asking, "Are you makin' fun of my eatin' habits?"

"…Are you going to punch me if say yes?" he replied nervously, because none of his plans had involved being hit today.

Joey glared at him. "GO AWAY."

Seto didn't want to admit he was running away, but… he didn't want to get punched.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto looked between the two packages of cheesy-mac. His doctor had told him to reduce his sodium and perhaps up his potassium to keep his blood pressure down (completely ignoring Seto's suggestion of just avoiding the geek squad, because apparently he needed socialization or something), but the one with lower sodium had less potassium and the one with more potassium had more sodium. Did this mean he had to go without cheesy-mac then? He liked cheesy-mac.

Did this mean he had to limit cheesy-mac like he limited his alcohol now? High blood pressure sucked.

…Maybe if he took a vacation away from Domino he could get it back down and eat all the cheesy-mac he wanted.

Seto flinched as he heard Mokuba's voice in his head, telling him that if he was just taking a vacation so he could eat cheesy-mac, there was something wrong with him. He sighed and put both of the boxes back, picking up a bag of plain noodles and adding some parmesan cheese to his mental list.

"Hey, Kaiba, what are you doing here? I never thought you'd lower yourself to do your own shopping."

Seto turned and frowned, brows furrowing together when he saw Mai with a basket over her arm filled with bottles of vodka and tequila. He fought to keep his nose from wrinkling in disgust, because he wasn't a fan of party booze. "Mai."

She raised an eyebrow, then glanced into his cart and snorted when she saw all the healthy food. "Oh, honey."

He glared at her in confusion. There was nothing wrong with whole grain, fruits, and vegetables.

"Well, I'll let you get back to your… shopping, then," Mai said, with a teasing smile, as she reached past him for a box of cheesy-mac.

Seto glared harder and lashed out the only way he knew how—by knowing more. "According to experts, eighty percent of women are wearing the wrong bra size."

She paused mid-reach, looking up at him in confusion. "…Um. What are you trying to say, Kaiba?"

"I'm saying that I'm a man and even though I like breasts, yours look so uncomfortable that I can't even look at them."

Mai smirked. "What, are you going to offer to hold them for me?"

"No, I think you should go get professionally fitted," he snapped, glaring at her because she wasn't taking care of herself and he was even though it meant giving up his _wonderful cheesy-mac._

She blinked at him before her lips curled into an amused smile. "Oh, honey," she sighed, patting his cheek, then turned to walk away.

Seto scowled. "I will not be patronized over something I don't understand!"

Mai waved over her shoulder, laughing. "I'll tell you when you're older, dear."

"I AM EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD!"

"'Ta, sweetie!"

Seto hissed as he glared after her, then turned and threw in five boxes of cheesy-mac just to spite.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto walked into the game shop and sighed in annoyance when he saw Yugi, Joey, Téa, and the mutt's sister, what's-her-name. What had Duke and Tristan said her name was? Tranquility, or something dorky like that?

Ha, dorky just like her stupid brother.

He sighed again. He'd just wanted to look at the new Duel Monsters cards in peace, but Yugi was already smiling at him. He didn't want to have a discussion right now. He came to the Turtle Game Shop because it was the only place that didn't shove its most expensive items in his face. He wanted to get in, look at cards, maybe buy some even if he knew he'd never use them because he could afford that, and get back out. Was that too much to ask?!

"Téa, what should I wear on my date?!" Tranquility asked nervously.

Seto blinked as Yugi immediately whipped around and grabbed Joey's sleeve. He supposed he could understand that, though, because Joey had gone from smiling to seething in under three seconds. …He wondered about Joey's blood pressure, too, sometimes (he also enjoyed making it skyrocket in revenge for all the times Joey almost sent him into orbit with rage).

Téa frowned thoughtfully. "Oh, well, um—"

Seeing the chance to make Joey even angrier, Seto chimed in, "Men find women who wear red more attractive. In fact, a woman in red is more likely to be asked on a date and have more money spent on her." He almost patted himself on the back as he watched the blond's face turn an attractive shade of red (because yes, red was attractive on girls but especially on Joey) as he choked and glared at him.

Tranquility blinked at him slowly. "…Okay?"

"…Well, we could always get your red—" Téa began, shrugging.

"You're not wearing red, Serenity," Joey hissed, glaring at the brunet and flexing his hands angrily.

Seto frowned. He had clearly not thought this through. …At least he knew the girl's proper name, though, if that was any consolation before he died.

Téa sighed and rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, Joey, she's not fourteen anymore!"

The blond whipped around to glare at her. "She can date when she's married."

Serenity glared at him, blushing a little. "Joey!"

He turned his glare back on the brunet. "Why are you even here? Get out."

"But Yugi just got that new shipment of cards in—"

"GET OUT," the blond hissed, standing up straight.

Seto paused. "…I'm leaving because I want to, not because you told me—"

"AND DON'T GIVE MY SISTER DATING ADVICE EVER AGAIN. SHE CAN DATE WHEN SHE'S MARRIED!" Joey bellowed, taking a step toward him.

The brunet scowled. "That doesn't even make sen—"

The younger boy took another step toward him and roared, "GEEEEEEET OOOOOOOOOUT!"

Seto immediately turned and walked back out, because he'd realized that Joey was protective of his sister, but he hadn't realized _how_ protective, and he didn't want to get blood on his new shirt.

Yugi turned to give the blond a dirty look. "He was here to look at new cards." He squeaked when the taller boy immediately turned and glared at him. "…I hear that men aren't very attracted to the color blue."

"FIND HER A BLUE SHIRT, TÉA."

Téa rolled her eyes and 'tsk'ed, grabbing the other girl's hand and pulling her out of the shop. She waited until they were out of hearing distance (because Joey picked up on anything involving Serenity from a surprisingly long distance away) before she suggested, "How about that pretty red tank-top with a white sweater I saw in your suitcase?"

Serenity looked back at the shop and frowned, wondering if her brother would ever stop being so weirdly overprotective. "Okay."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto peeked into the game shop (not nervously, of course, because he didn't know how to be nervous), then poked his head inside. He glanced around suspiciously and, when he didn't see anyone, he smiled a little and opened the door to walk in.

He flinched as a bell above the door rang. He spun to face it immediately, glaring at it with all of his rage because THAT HADN'T BEEN THERE A WEEK AGO.

"Oh, Kaiba!" Yugi greeted cheerfully. "Do you like the bell? Grandpa put it up so that we could hear if someone comes in if we're in the back room."

"…Swell," Seto muttered petulantly, but approached the case of Duel Monsters cards and began to examine them.

"Hey, Yug'!" Joey poked his head out of the back room. "How long d'ya think porn's been around?"

Yugi paused, brows furrowing together, then sighed and shook his head. "I have no idea."

"The earliest known American pornographic film is the nineteen-fifteen 'A Free Ride.' The film was directed by 'A. Wise Guy' and was written by 'Will She.'"

The blond blinked at him. "…Can ya get me a copy?"

Seto looked up at him sharply, appalled. "No!"

Joey scowled. "Then the only thing ya shoulda said was 'since nineteen-fifteen' instead of gettin' my hopes up, asshat."

The brunet's mouth fell open in outrage and shock. "How can you make me feel stupid when I'm so much smarter than you?!"

"Practice," the blond hissed, beginning to lean back into the back room. "Don't think I've forgotten about that time ya tried t' pimp out my sister!"

"I didn't try to pimp out anyone!" Seto snarled, then threw his hands up in frustration. "Argh!"

"It was a week ago. He's had time to twist it around in his head," Yugi muttered, frowning. "You should have come in and apologized the next day."

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" the brunet exclaimed angrily. He rolled his eyes when the smaller boy only shrugged and turned to look at the cards again (and perhaps judge them a little more harshly than he had before; it was easier to judge inanimate objects than to judge Joey because inanimate objects didn't talk back).

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I can't believe we have to have our fuckin' physicals here."

"I mean seriously, that's what the doctors are for!"

"Why are they making us take a day out of classes for this…"

Seto's eye twitched. He didn't much like it either, but it gave him an excuse to read while he waited for his turn, so he could put up with it. He just wished he could read in peace, but they all had to wait together, and if there was anything the geek squad did that bothered him (besides just existing in general) was feeling otherwise pleasant silences with inane chatter.

He wondered if he'd get his physical done sooner if he bashed his head against the lockers.

"I mean at least we get extra time for the homework, right?"

Seto sighed and turned the page of his book. "Did you know that for most men, the left testicle hangs lower? But in some men, most commonly left-handed men, the right one hangs lower." He almost smiled as his information was met with awkward silence. Silence was good. Silence was nice.

Yugi shifted awkwardly. "Huh."

Tristan tilted his head. "Really?"

"Woooow," Duke drawled, leaning back in his seat.

Seto got two more pages read before he looked up, scowling. "Oh my God, you're all thinking about going to the bathroom and checking, aren't you?"

The guilty silence and the way they avoided eye contact with him was answer enough.

"I JUST WANTED YOU TO BE QUIET SO I CAN READ WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE THINGS SO AWKWARD?!"

Joey opened his mouth to point out that Seto was the one that made everything awkward with his stupidly off-topic information, but Tristan kicked him and Yugi made a shushing noise. Duke made a negating motion with his hands. He sighed and glared at them before crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall, grumbling to himself about enabling psychotic rich people.

Seto chose to think he was talking about Duke.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Kaiba? I'm surprised ya don't have someone else doin' your grocery shoppin'!"

Not for the first time, Seto wondered why everyone thought he was so lazy or busy that he couldn't shop for himself.

Joey looked in his cart and frowned when he found the boxes of cheesy-mac sitting beside some bags of fruit. "I thought Mokuba said you were watchin' your sodium."

Seto scowled and covered the boxes with his hand in case the blond tried to take the boxes out of his cart. Mokuba had tried that once and he'd almost lost his arm.

The blond lifted his hands in surrender. "Hey, I don't care. Even big bad bosses need a guilty pleasure, I guess. But ya shoulda got the other one; it comes with less sodium."

"…Whatever."

Joey smiled a little. "Well, I'll let ya get back t' your shoppin' then, Kaiba. I gotta get this stuff and go clean my apartment."

Seeing the blond's cart was full of cleaning supplies, the brunet raised an eyebrow. "Wow."

"I've been puttin' off my spring cleanin'," the younger boy replied shrugging.

Seto blinked before asking, "Did you know that men who help with housework also tend to have more sex?"

Joey stared at him for a moment before his lips curled into a smirk. "Are ya offerin', Kaiba?"

"…I don't remember how to do housework." The brunet flinched awkwardly. "I haven't had to do it since I was ten years old."

"…That's adorable. And sad." Joey smiled. "But mostly adorable. Ya wanna learn?"

Seto raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" the blond countered, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

The older boy blinked. "…Really? That's all it would take?"

"Well, and dinner, too. You can pick up some take-away on the way over to my place," Joey answered, pulling a pen from his pocket and grabbing his hand.

Seto watched him write his address on his hand, frowning. "I could have given you a piece of paper."

"Nah, this is easier. I like curry, but I'll eat anything ya bring!" The blond smiled up at him one last time before turning and pushing his cart away. "See ya later, Kaiba!"

Seto watched him leave, still frowning, then looked down at the ink on his hand. "…This is incredibly unsanitary," he muttered, but couldn't help the way the corner of his lip lifted into an almost-smile.


	174. Reasoning: T

Author's Note: I suddenly had the urge for dysfunctional!puppyshipping. Does that make me weird? I think that makes me weird.

* * *

Reasoning

"So, I really think you should kiss me."

Seto looked up from his book, blinking in confusion when he looked up at the mutt. He glanced around the classroom, frowning. Lunch wasn't over yet. Joey should still be goofing off outside or in the cafeteria, not bothering him. He paused, considering the blond's words, before looking up at him again. "Why?"

Joey shrugged. "Because I think you're fucked up enough t' do it."

The brunet scowled. "What."

"I mean, no one else will. No one that's any good, anyway," the blond mumbled, scowling a little, but looked away to show that he wasn't upset with the CEO specifically, just in general. "The only people that wanna kiss me are the school sluts and the good girls that wanna get back at their uptight parents, and as soon as they get their extended curfew or bigger allowance, they drop me like a hot potato."

"I have the feeling that that is not just a metaphor and you've actually burnt yourself on a potato," Seto muttered, as judging the blond's intelligence was his prerogative even when the blond was vulnerable enough to punch him. Luckily, he either didn't hear him or chose to ignore his unflattering comment.

"Anyway, I'm tired of throwin' good money after bad with someone that doesn't even really wanna date me and are just in it for an adrenaline high," Joey continued. "I was thinkin' about who would wanna do that since my police record is pretty…" He frowned and spread his hands apart.

Seto blinked. He'd seen the blond's record (he did thorough investigations on all of his… 'friends,' Mokuba insisted that they were friends, so he just agreed because it was easier than arguing with him), and it wasn't incredibly long or incredibly heinous. A couple domestic disturbances, a couple of assault and batteries, some petty thefts. It's not like he was the world's worst criminal.

"And then the stuff that I didn't get charged for but most people know I did anyway—"

Oh. He hadn't investigated rumors, because he didn't care if he didn't have hard evidence. Although he did hear one about Joey entering the school's popularity contest and putting on a Marilyn Monroe-esque dress. He should check and see if anyone got pictures of that. …For science.

"—And I was thinkin', who wouldn't care about any of that? And the only person I could come up with was you, 'cause let's be honest, ya really don't give a fuck what someone's done as long as they don't drag ya down with 'em."

Seto blinked up at him. "…I'm not sure I'm entirely convinced by your reasoning."

Joey frowned. "What reasoning? I was just tellin' ya my accurate conclusions."

No, he was reasoning, but Seto wasn't going to bang his head against his desk today (that usually happened when he was arguing with Joey). "But why would _I_ want to kiss _you?_" he asked instead, even though he wanted to explain he was reasoning and seriously mutt learn your language before you embarrass yourself (because that would only end in tears—his tears, he'd had this conversation before).

The blond opened his mouth, but nothing came out. It was as if the thought had never occurred to him. And maybe it hadn't, the older boy thought. The lifestyle he came from wasn't exactly conducive to looking for suitable mates. It was about pleasure, right here right now, fuck the consequences. And Joey was displaying that thought process right now.

Joey's shoulders slumped. "Oh. I guess I never thought about that. Sorry t' bother ya, Kaiba." He turned to leave.

And Seto slammed his head on his desk because Joey Wheeler wanted to kiss him and he wanted nothing more than to kiss that stupid big mouth back but _he always had to be right and ask questions that didn't really need answering __**because he wanted to kiss him so why did it matter**_—

"…Kaiba."

Seto blinked down at his desk, frowning, then lifted his head. "What."

The corner of Joey's mouth quirked up into an awkward grin. "All ya had t' do was tell me that ya wanted t' kiss me anyway."

"I'd been trying so hard not to get into a discussion that would end this way," the brunet muttered, scowling. "It's like I have a permanent bruise now."

"I'll buy ya a stress ball so you can squeeze that instead. I dunno why your first instinct is to slam your head against somethin' when you're talkin' t' me." Joey smiled and leaned toward him. "So ya do wanna kiss me?"

Seto grabbed the collar of his jacket and dragged him down so their mouths mashed together roughly. It was the most awkward, sloppy kiss he'd ever had.

It was also the best.


	175. Slender: T for Language

Author's Note: Why. Why do I do this.

Because I'm a glutton for pain, perhaps!?

* * *

Slender

"So, you be the mouse, and I'll be the keyboard," Mokuba decided, nodding to himself.

Joey frowned. "Ya don't trust me with the keyboard?"

Joey still hunted and pecked, so, no; he didn't want him controlling the keyboard. "You'll just make her run everywhere and she's got an actual stamina bar, so we can't really afford to run around a lot."

"But you said that the battery in the flashlight can run out, too…" the blond mumbled, frowning, as he looked up at the big screen of the younger boy's computer. "Whatever. There's gotta be _some_ natural light in this game, right?"

"…Uh." Mokuba shrugged. "Probably. Yeah?"

They stared at each other for a minute, before Joey looked back at the screen and clicked on the icon to start the game. "Aaaand start."

"Just remember, you can't get mad at me for playing this because I warned you that it was a horror game."

"Psh, it's just a game. I'll be just fine," Joey replied confidently.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I'M NOT FINE! I'M NOT FINE!" Joey screamed, flinging the mouse at the screen.

Mokuba took a few great lungfuls of air, opening his mouth as if he was going to talk, but all that came out was, "AAAHHHH! AAAAHHHHH! _AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

The two screamed again and ran out of the room.

They both slept with Seto that night. Seto complained about having to sleep with the lights on. He was outvoted.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"This is just a stupid game," Seto muttered, scowling, once they showed him what had distressed them so much the day before that they had to sleep with the light on. "All you do is collect pieces of paper and try not to get caught by some guy in a mask."

"He's not a guy in a mask," Joey hissed, glaring at him. "He's a _monster._ With _tentacles._"

"This is a porn game?!" the brunet exclaimed, appalled. He turned to look at his little brother. "Mokuba, you told me that this was—"

"OH MY GOD WHY IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT ABOUT TENTACLES PORN!?" Mokuba shouted, throwing his hands up. "No, it's not porn, the tentacles _kill you_, Seto. The tentacles rip you apart. THEY. KILL. YOU."

"…Oh."

"What the fuck is wrong with you," Joey whispered angrily, even though he wasn't surprised in the least. Seto Kaiba was a freak; he loved him anyway. "No. This is a horror game, not a porn game."

Seto blinked up at them, then frowned and turned back to the computer. "…I see."

"If you're so skeptical, you play it!" the blond snapped, placing his hands on his hips.

"Fine."

"You're already planning on making a take on this for our company, aren't you?" Mokuba deadpanned.

Seto frowned. "I've heard this game is really popular. Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm getting the video camera," Mokuba stated, turning to leave the room.

The older boy turned to look after him, brows furrowing together in concern. "Wait, why?"

"I'm helpin'. I know where four of the papers are," Joey stated, pulling up the other chair.

Seto turned to scowl at him. "You were terrified!"

"I wanna win the game," the blond hissed, glaring at him.

"Fine," the brunet snapped back.

When Mokuba returned, he sighed when he saw them glaring at each other. "Oh my God. You're working together this time."

Joey muttered to himself and grabbed the mouse. "Asshole started it."

"I did not!" Seto hissed, grabbing the keyboard.

Mokuba rolled his eyes and set the camera to record as the blond started the game.

"No, Kaiba, don't run yet! Ya lose stamina when ya do that!"

"Turn the light back on! Why do you keep fucking flashing it?!"

"Because the light loses battery life!"

"Oh my God. This is a shitty game, like what even—"

They all jumped as the screen buzzed with static. Joey screamed. "KAIBA, RUN! JUST RUN!"

"You said not to—"

"RUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!"

"Where are we going oh my God turn the flashlight on you dumbass!"

"Okay, okay. I think we can walk now."

"What's this? Is this a truck?"

"Oh, there's a page over here."

"Why is there a truck out here?"

"I don't _know,_ Kaiba. What the fuck, Kaiba, get closer!"

"No. The truck will explode right as we get to it."

"No it _won't,_ you dumb ass; I've played this already. Get closer so I can get the paper."

Mokuba smiled a little. "It won't explode, Seto."

"What's the paper say?" Seto asked, fingers stilling as he squinted.

"It says 'help me,'" Joey supplied, clicking on it. "We think it's written in blood."

"Ugh. How cheesy. You know that blood is actually brown when it dries?"

"Why do you know that," the blond muttered, and turned.

Mokuba couldn't help a snort as they both jumped when they found the Slender Man there, and Joey screamed and turned the other way. "RUN RUN RUN!"

"You told me not to run—"

"FUCK WHAT I SAID JUST RUN!"

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."

"Oh wait—WAIT, I said!"

"You just told me to—Oh my God, I hate playing co-op with you."

"It's the creepy tree!" Joey exclaimed. "There's a paper here."

Seto rolled his eyes and sighed. "This is my life. With a bipolar boyfri—OW!"

"Sorry, sweetie," the blond cooed, a dangerous look in his eyes as he focused on another paper, this one saying 'NO NO NO NO NO.' "Okay, I think if we go left from here, we get to the maze area."

"The maze area?"

"I think it was a bathroom," Mokuba supplied helpfully.

Seto wrinkled his nose in confusion. "Why would you make a bathroom into a maze?"

"To add insult t' injury when we shit our pants," the blond muttered.

"This is stupid."

"Suck a dick, Seto."

"Yours?"

"Stop it," Mokuba hissed, glaring at them from over the camera.

The older teens glanced at each other and shared a smirk before advancing their character into the maze. They meandered around for a few minutes, jumping when they heard things crunch underfoot of the character, before Seto finally puffed out a breath. "Are you sure there's a paper in here?"

"_Yes,_ I'm sure! Clearly you're just takin' us down the same hall every time!"

"No, I've been going down a different one every time—" Seto began, shooting him a short glare, before looking back up at the screen as they turned a corner.

They both screamed when they saw the suited silhouette at the end of the hall, music blaring out of the speakers before screeching with static. Joey threw the mouse again, turning to cling to the brunet's shoulder as he slammed his hands wildly on the keyboard.

"OH MY GOD JOEY TURN THE FLASHLIGHT AROUND SO I CAN FUCKING SEE!"

Joey fumbled for the mouse, but the flashlight still didn't move. "IT'S NOT WORKING! IT'S NOT WORKING!" He dropped the mouse and turned to hide his face in the brunet's shoulder.

"YOU DISCONNECTED THE FUCKING MOUSE!" Seto roared, eyes widening as the tentacles coming from the monster grew.

The character was suddenly turned around, and all they saw after that was tentacles zooming toward the screen.

Seto stood, picked up the monitor, and turned, flinging it into the wall.

Mokuba stared, jaw dropped, as he watched his brother pant.

Joey covered his face, forcing himself not to hyperventilate. When he still had trouble breathing, he stood and clung to the back of the older boy's shirt, laying his head on his shoulder.

Seto flexed his hands, gripping them into fists and relaxing them slowly, before he reached back to place one of them on the blond's head. "…I'll purchase you a new monitor tomorrow, Mokuba."

Mokuba stared at him for a little longer, then turned the camera off and left the room.

.-.-.-.-.-.

The video of the entire debacle that Mokuba put online reached viewing records so quickly that it was featured on the evening news. Joey didn't go to school for a week and Seto holed up in his office for a month.

The game he came out with at the end of that month made up for it, though. Sales for it went through the roof, with reviews like 'Scarier than Slender!' and 'I may have peed myself the first time I died.'

Joey and Mokuba refused to play it. Seto didn't mind.


	176. Treasure: K

Author's Note: What even is this universe?! DOESN'T MATTER, HAS DRAGONS.

You can find the picture that inspired this here (take out the spaces and use periods instead of "dot" and a slash instead of "(slash)"): i dot imgur dot com (slash) RGriR . png

* * *

Treasure

"This is a terrible idea," Joey stated, hugging himself.

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Joey," Serenity hissed, glaring at him, as she grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the cave. "Seto said we were welcome in his den at any time!"

Joey did not explain that that was mostly because Seto liked to practice taking human form and then using that human form to ravish him until he was a puddle of goo.

The blond sighed loudly. "He never said we could ransack his stuff! Besides, he's a dragon, and they're fickle as shit!"

Serenity turned to look up at him, lips pursed. "Joey."

"I REFUSE TO TAKE ANY BLAME FOR THIS."

She paused thoughtfully, then nodded, conceding that it was her idea and she was making her brother uncomfortable (but not so uncomfortable that he'd just leave her there). "…Fine." She dragged him further into the dragon's den and made her way over to a large wooden chest. "I just want to see what he keeps in here, anyway. He's got all of his gold and jewels and books lying around, it makes me wonder what he's hiding!"

Joey rolled his eyes. "This is gonna end in tears. Ya know whose tears? Mine. Because he's gonna kill us, but he'll kill you first no matter how much I beg."

Serenity turned to look up at him, frowning. "Do you think about this a lot?"

"…Yes."

She stared at him a little longer, then turned her attention back to the chest, pulling a bobby pin from her hair. "Fine. I won't blame you at all when I die," she sighed, picking at the lock.

Joey's eye twitched. He wanted to ask how she knew how to do that, but he figured the answer would only upset him.

Serenity grinned as the lock clicked open and pulled it from the hook, then flipped the latch up and pushed at the lid. When it didn't budge, she let out a whine and hit it with her palm. "Ah! It's too heavy!" She turned to look up at her brother, bottom lip jutting into a pout. "Joey, help."

"Lemme think—NO."

She huffed and crossed her arms, scowling. "Oh, so you want me to pull a muscle or slip a disc?"

The blond scowled, but she could play him like a fiddle, and she was _very_ skilled at playing the fiddle. "Fine. You're takin' the blame for this, too!"

Serenity clasped her hands together and cooed, "My hero!"

"Oh shut up. Jeez, Seto's gonna kill us," Joey muttered, rubbing his hands together nervously, before he grabbed the lid of the chest and shoved it up. He held it open, eyes shut tight in case it was something private, but then his sister squealed and he had to peek.

It was filled with papers. He raised an eyebrow as the redhead grabbed handfuls of them and pulled them out, holding the lid of the chest up with one hand as he turned to peer over her shoulder. "What are they?"

"They're—" Serenity frowned, blinking slowly, then lifted one of the papers. "…This is a macaroni drawing," she whispered, brows furrowing together in confusion. She turned and held it up for the blond to see, eyes wide.

He couldn't help a smile when he saw the stick-figure dragons inside the macaroni heart. He didn't even know you _could _make stick-figure dragons. That was amazing. And there were _dozens_ of pictures of them, from lounging by a lake (at least, they thought the big blue blob was a lake) to flying in the sky (or swimming, because they were in a big blue blob again).

"What are you doing?"

"AGH!" Joey dropped the lid of the chest and flailed backward, tripping over it and slamming into the wall.

Serenity gathered the papers and hid them behind her, even though she knew she was already too late. She smiled up at the white dragon nervously. "Seto! Fancy meeting you here!"

"…It's my cave," the dragon mumbled, scaly brows pulled together in confusion. He glanced at the lock on the ground, then sighed and rolled his eyes, taking a step further into the cave. "I won't even ask how you got that unlocked. I would have done it for you if you'd asked."

Joey stood up straight, rubbing the back of his head, and smiled bashfully. "Sorry."

Seto gazed down his nose at them (not to sneer, but because he didn't know what to do with them sometimes—and also because he really couldn't look at anything without looking down his nose). "Did you like them?"

Serenity blinked. "Huh?"

"Did you like the pictures?"

They glanced at the pictures and shrugged awkwardly. "Uh."

"Mokuba made them for me." Seto grinned, showing all of his long, sharp teeth. "He's going to be a great artist when he grows up!"

"…Y-yeah!" Serenity exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "They're great!"

"Terrific," Joey added, nodding enthusiastically.

Seto smiled at them a little longer, then frowned, brows furrowing again. "Why didn't you just ask me?"

"…Joey will tell you bye!" Serenity answered, and scampered out of the cave.

Joey glared after her. "You little traitor!"

The dragon blinked at him. "…I have the feeling I don't want to know."

"Ya probably don't," the blond replied as innocently as he could.

Seto paused, then grinned again, slowly shifting his body until he could melt into his human form. "Well, since you're here—"

"Oh my God I'm never lettin' Serenity talk me into another ever again," Joey moaned in frustration as the brunet slid his arms around his waist and nuzzled his neck.


	177. Pretty: T for Language

Author's Note: So I found a picture reblogged on Tumblr that kind of hit me straight in the feels and I didn't want to be the only one to suffer these feels so HERE YOU GO. Please don't cry. **:**C

P.S. I changed the appearance of the character from the picture so yeah. It just felt weird to base a character off a real person when I don't know that person and have no idea what his/her circumstances are. (Also if you want to see the post just shoot me a PM and I'll get the link to you.)

* * *

Pretty

Their teacher hasn't been at school a lot. The substitute is there more often than he is not. But that's changing, soon. Mrs. Morimoto's husband is coming back from a business trip abroad and will be able to take care of their daughter so that their teacher can have some rest and, hopefully, start working again.

Téa had begged her to bring in a picture of her daughter because, funnily enough, she knew her, even though she was only eight years old. She helped with dance lessons at a local ballet studio because it would look good on her résumé when she applied for colleges and their teacher had enrolled her daughter there. When Téa asked if the chemotherapy was going well and if her daughter would be coming back to dance when she was better, the teacher said she hoped so, and promised to bring in a picture for her (even though their teacher's eyes had glassed with tears when Téa had said 'when' with such conviction, as if she'd been hearing '_if_ your daughter gets better' too much).

Their teacher was in class today. She looked tired, but not nearly as stressed as she had with her husband gone. She smiled and handed Téa a picture. "Here. When I told her that it was you asking for a picture, she insisted that she autograph it so you can remember her when you're a famous dancer," she said, eyes glistening a little before she composed herself. "She wants to come back and dance when she gets better, so be prepared for her to chatter about how mean I am not to let her go to class while she's… sick."

Téa took the picture with a coo. She traced her fingers over the glossy page, thinking that the girl still looked really good even with her brown hair thinning and falling out, because she was smiling at the camera with wide, happy hazel eyes—a smile she usually had after the other dance instructors praised her after she did an exercise correctly. "She is so sweet! Don't tell anyone, but she's always been my favorite," she replied, winking at her and making her laugh (probably for the first time in a long time). She turned and went back to her seat, holding the picture out for her friends to see. "Look, guys, she's the one I was always telling you about!"

"Ya mean the one that can arabesque like a mother fu—extremely talented dancer?" Joey amended quickly when she shot him a glare. He fought valiantly not to flinch. He failed.

Téa sighed, smiling a little. "Well, at least you got the term right. Yeah. I bet she'll become a great dancer too, if that's what she wants to do with her life."

Tristan laughed and teased, "Well, if she does, you might have some competition for best dancer in the world."

"Oh, wow!" Yugi exclaimed, leaning closer, and smiled a little. "She's really pretty!"

"_Tch._"

The group stilled, then turned, confused, to find one of their classmates glaring at them. Téa rolled her eyes. Izumi was a first-class feminist, and that was great, except for all the misandry she spewed, especially when she dismissed other people's opinions simply because they had penises instead of vaginas.

"Um… What?" Yugi asked, frowning, as his shoulders hunched up. He'd never been on the receiving end of her hate before, but he'd seen some really awful arguments she'd been involved in.

"Nice to see you reducing her to her appearance, Moto," she snapped, glare growing more heated.

The smaller boy shrank back a little, stammering, "But… she is—"

"Well it's great to know that while that girl is battling a life-threatening disease, all you can say is 'she's pretty.'"

Téa scowled. "That's not what he meant-!"

"And it just shows that women can't do a _damn_ thing without it going back to the arbitrary scale of how attractive she is to other people!" Izumi plowed on, ignoring her. "I mean, it doesn't matter that she's battling a life-threatening illness and dealing with more than even most _adults_ will go through in their lifetimes, because who cares about that when she's _pretty?_"

"You are putting words in his mouth that he didn't mean and probably would never even think about in relationship to this," Tristan snapped, glaring at her.

"Oh, please," she sniffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "She's brave, and she's strong, and she's doing all of this while she's seven years old, and all you can talk about is her physical appearance or how well she does in an activity that drives some girls to starve themselves so they'll still be small enough for men to pick them up and throw them around."

Yugi looked like he was about to cry. "I-I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I'm—"

"_Don't you dare say 'sorry' to her,_" Joey hissed, slamming his hands down on the desk and making the entire room jump. "You don't owe her an apology, Yugi. She owes _you_ one."

Izumi glared at him. "Like hell—"

"First of all, FUCK YOU for makin' this about your opinions instead of about her. She's the one we were talkin' about. We weren't talkin' about you or _to_ you," Joey snarled, standing up. "So thanks for buttin' in like the rude little bitch ya are."

She sputtered in shock, face reddening with anger and embarrassment. "Wheeler, you—"

"And he's not allowed to say she's pretty? You haven't even seen the picture. She's _gorgeous,_ and not just because she's smiling or she's got an attractive face. She's gorgeous because she's fuckin' _vibrant_ and _happy_ and _hopeful_ even though her body is literally ATTACKING ITSELF. Chemotherapy isn't fun. It makes your hair fall out and ya get pale and nauseous and tired, and despite the fact that she's tired and probably feelin' sick and her hair's fallen out, we still think she looks great despite the fact that she might _die_!"

Izumi shrank in her seat a little, but Joey refused to let her get away with making Yugi feel bad for saying what they were all thinking anyway.

"And ya know what else? She's got a support system of friends and family that love her so much, and you know what they tell her? They tell her that she's so _strong,_ and _brave,_ and she's dealin' with it so _well._ And that's great, because it's true. She _is_ strong and brave and adjusting t' this really well. But ya know somethin' else? She's a fuckin' _little girl_ and she probably wants t' be healthy and have dress-up days with her friends and play with make-up and run around outside and she _can't_ because she's sick. Can you even imagine what her life must be like when all people can do is either avoid talkin' about the fact that she has cancer so they don't upset her or themselves or they focus on how strong and brave she is?

"I guess what I'm tryin' t' say is, MAYBE SHE WANTS T' BE FUCKIN' _TOLD_ SHE'S PRETTY ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE DOESN'T REALLY _FEEL_ PRETTY?!" he shouted, clenching his hands into fists.

Izumi slid further down her seat, knees hitting the chair of the person in front of her as she hunched her shoulders up protectively from the disgusted looks she was being given by everyone in class—including their teacher, who thought that her baby was still as beautiful now as she was when she was born.

"Oh," Joey spat, picking up his bag. "By the way. She' _eight_ years old, not seven, even though her age has literally _nothin'_ to do with her illness. But hey, just stick your foot further in your mouth and ya won't hafta worry about spewing your stupidity ever again." He nodded to their teacher before he stormed out of the room.

He didn't come back to school that day.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Fumiko Morimoto took a deep breath as she boarded the elevator. Today had been an incredibly stressful day. She was glad that the Wheeler boy had stood up for his friend, though—and, through him, for her daughter, too. Izumi had been getting on her last nerves recently, and she didn't have the patience to spare for her anymore, so she was glad that the girl had been put in her place at least for a while, giving her time to recuperate before the next big blow up.

She approached her daughter's hospital room and smiled as she heard her giggling with her father. She was glad her husband was back to help shoulder some of the responsibilities of getting Aiko to the hospital and getting her chemo treatments.

Stepping into the room, she grinned. "Who wants chocolate?"

"I think Aiko may be a little too nauseous for chocolate," her husband began.

"ME! I want chocolate!" Aiko cried, holding her hands out. "Mommy always brings me chocolate after chemo because it's the only thing I can stomach," she told him seriously around a mouthful of chocolate covered raisins.

Fumiko smiled, and Satsuki sighed and rolled his eyes because they both knew she was using her illness to her advantage to eat all the sweets she liked. It should have made them angry, that she was abusing this incredibly frightening situation to bully them into getting candies, but instead, it was nice. It was a reminder that even though she'd lost her hair, lost a lot of weight, lost her freedom for the time being, she was the same playful little girl that had been there before they'd found out about her cancer. It made the threat of her cancer getting worse seem far away for a little while, like they were a happy little family again that didn't even think about something being wrong with her.

Fumiko raised an eyebrow when she saw a vase of yellow daisies sitting beside her bed. "And who is that from? Did you bully your dad into bringing you flowers, too?"

Aiko sat up quickly, eyes widening along with her smile. "Mommy, this morning a boy came and he gave them to me and he told me that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, and he looked like he meant it!" She sobered. "I would like you to convince dad to let me marry him."

"He's a bit old for you," Satsuki stated, shrugging idly as if that was the only reason he wasn't allowing it.

Fumiko lifted her hand to her head. "Was he tall? And he had blond hair?"

Aiko went back to munching on her candy. "Yeah! Why, Mommy? Do you know him?"

She turned her head away and moved her hand to cover her smile, eyes glistening with tears that she didn't want her daughter to see. "What if I do?"

Aiko gasped and leaned toward her. "Mommy, you have to let me marry him! He brought me candy, too!" She turned and pulled a bag of star candies from under her pillow.

"When did he even give those to you?!" Satsuki exclaimed, sitting up straighter in his seat. He groaned and covered his face. "You can't marry him, Aiko! He'll spoil you with candy and give you diabetes!"

"…Can I eat candy if I have diabetes?"

"No," Fumiko laughed, then quickly fibbed, "No, you can't have any sugar when you have diabetes."

Aiko's bottom lip jutted out into a pout as she tucked the bag of candy back under her pillow. "Well, I guess. Maybe we can just be friends then. Friends that give candy to each other."

Fumiko grabbed her husband's hand and resolved to explain everything to him when they got home. "I gave Téa the picture you autographed. All she could do was gush about what a great dancer you are and she can't wait to have you back in class."

"_Really?!_" Aiko exclaimed, then leaned toward her and began chattering about how great and awesome and wonderful Téa was and how even though she was tough on her in dance class, the way she smiled at her when she did well made all of the hard work worth it, and did they think she'd ever be as good as Téa and if she was maybe they could partner up for some ballets and be awesome together.


	178. Migration: K Plus

Author's Note: In which Seto Kaiba is the biggest nerd and almost-normal(?!) teenager I could make him. Also, I just really, REALLY like sharks, okay?!

* * *

Migration

"LYDIA, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Joey jumped and flailed. "Agh!" He changed the channel even though he knew it was already too late and his lover was going to rage about how Lydia was _not_ a strawberry blonde, but a ginger, because he knows what strawberry blonde hair is thank-you-very-much and why is he watching this show because the original _Teen Wolf_ was much better.

Never mind the fact that Seto had actually been sucked into this show and he obsessed over it as much as he had when he'd seen Joey watching _Star Trek_ and had bought them both Yellow Shirts (actually, he'd bought Joey a Red Shirt at first, but when Joey threw a fit because Red Shirts died, they pawned it off on Mokuba and got Joey another yellow one. Mokuba still didn't understand why).

He turned and frowned when he realized Seto wasn't in the room with him; he hadn't even been passing by. If he didn't know he was watching _Teen Wolf_ reruns, who was he yelling at?

Standing, Joey followed the sound of the brunet's angry muttering and peeked into the dining room. Seto had set up shop there because he'd accidentally broken his desk in his office when he'd flipped it in a fit of rage; a raid he'd been doing on _World of Warcraft_ had been disconnected because one of the gardeners accidentally cut the internet line while he'd been tilling and he'd been about to make a final kill. (Seto had nearly brained himself beating his head on a wall because he wanted to fire the gardener but he was one of the best gardeners in the country and Seto was surprisingly fond of flowers. Joey found Seto even more adorable when he learned these things, much to the brunet's consternation.)

"I can't believe you're that far out. What are you doing? Everyone else is sticking to a shore. I'm assuming because THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO."

Joey blinked. "…Who are you talkin' to?"

"I found this website where I can see the locations of tagged Great White Sharks and Lydia was over off the New York coast and now she's way the fuck over by _Bermuda!_" Seto exclaimed, hands clenching in front of him because apparently this was not okay. "She's been there for two days!"

The blond stared at him for a moment. "…You're… watchin' sharks… and you're mad because Lydia is not off a coast?"

"_Yes,_" the older boy hissed, eyebrow twitching.

Joey blinked at him again, then walked around behind him so he could see as well. He frowned at the map. "That's Lydia? The little orange dot? That's only four sharks. I think there are more than four sharks in the ocean."

Seto raised an eyebrow at him that clearly questioned his intelligence. He held the mouse button down and swiveled the map to the southern end of Africa. "There are thirty-two over here."

"AGH!" The blond leaned back quickly, eyes wide. "We are _never_ goin' t' South Africa!"

"…Whatever." Seto zoomed the map out and glared at Lydia again because apparently he was going to continue being personally offended.

Joey squinted at two other dots near Africa, frowning. "Ya don't seem t' have a problem with those two sharks. They're just cruisin' around far from shore. …One of them's even gone farther out than Madagascar."

"I don't care because one of them is named _Riley_ and the other is named _Success._ Those are stupid names so clearly they are stupid sharks," the brunet replied primly (and only Seto fucking Kaiba could sound prim when talking about the intelligence of sharks, what the fuck).

Joey gave him a look he hoped conveyed that he thought he boyfriend was at least a little stupid. "Okaaaay."

Seto scowled at him. "You're judging me. I feel judged."

"Remember when ya didn't care if I judged ya?" the blond teased, smirking.

"I regret ever wanting to date you," the older boy mumbled without heat, because they both knew he was lying and he was just glad he finally had someone to show his nerdy side.

And also someone to give flowers to. Seto loved to give him flowers. Joey had felt a little insulted because he felt he was being called the girl in the relationship until one of the brunet's secretaries brought in a bouquet of flowers for Seto because he'd sent her a designer box of decadent chocolates for her birthday and the brunet had muttered and scowled but had immediately bent to smell them as soon as she'd walked out again.

His boyfriend was weird, but he kind of liked that.

"LYDIAAAAAAA, GO BACK TO THE COOOOOAST!" Seto raged, glaring at the screen of his laptop.

Joey sighed and opened up a tab for _World of Warcraft_ because Seto was much easier to deal with when he was screaming about Taurens and Blood Elves (because apparently he'd chosen to be a Draenei for the Alliance and was actually seriously offended by the Horde, which Joey always found hilarious). Besides, if he gamed for a few hours, maybe Lydia would migrate back to the coast by the time Seto remembered her and checked on her location.


	179. Fan Boy: K plus

Author's Note: You have Willowsnake to thank (blame) for this.

* * *

Fan Boy

"Seto, I'm home!"

Seto jumped and flailed a little to cover up the book he was reading, hiding it quickly under a throw pillow. "Hi Mokuba!"

Mokuba paused in the doorway, one eyebrow rising skeptically. "…Hi." He saw a bag from the bookstore on the table and perked up a little. "What'd you get?"

"Nothing," the brunet replied quickly.

The younger boy scowled. "…Seto, that was your _guilty_ 'nothing.'"

"IT'S NOTHING," Seto exclaimed, with more feeling and maybe also a little more terror.

"That was your defensive 'nothing!'" Mokuba slapped a hand to his forehead in disbelief that his _older brother_ was being so childish—also that he could differentiate between each way he said 'nothing.'

Seto looked like he might explode. Or just burst into flames. He sank down in his seat. "I… bought some new shoujo manga."

Mokuba blinked at him. "…You know I don't judge you for reading shoujo manga, right?"

The brunet pulled out his book and stared at it morosely. "_I_ judge me."

The younger boy paused awkwardly, then reached out to pat his shoulder. He figured his show of support didn't work when his brother only ducked his head. "What's this one called, anyway?"

"_Shadow Magic,_" Seto muttered, frowning. "Based on Dark Magician Girl. She's the apprentice to Dark Magician, but then Dark Valkyria banishes him to the shadow dungeon. Dark Magician Girl has to go about the Shadow Realm and set it to rights and defeat her."

Mokuba raised an eyebrow. "You're reading a shoujo manga based on the Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl?"

Seto threw his hands up, expression wretched. "I KNOOOOW! BUT IT'S SO GOOOOOD!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I'm going to Kaiba-con."

Mokuba sighed and rolled his eyes. "Really?"

"It would be rude not to make an appearance when I'm the one sponsoring a great portion of it," the brunet reasoned.

The younger boy turned to face him and raised an eyebrow (Seto thought he was doing that too much; he really didn't deserve that skepticism). "Right. Because you're never rude."

Seto bristled. "I can be polite!"

"…Sure," Mokuba muttered, mostly to himself. He paused, then looked up at his brother slyly. "You know, if you're worried about being rude, _I_ could always go instead."

"No. I mean, what? Don't… don't you have school the day?!" the brunet asked, flustered.

Mokuba raised an eyebrow again (_undeserved!_). "We just had ice-cream sundaes last night to celebrate the end of another terrible school year."

Seto lifted his hands like he was trying to grasp something—probably straws. "Well—You were telling me something about camp! Aren't you going to camp that week?!"

"…I was talking about the camp I had planned to organize for underprivileged kids to learn Duel Monsters and Capsule Monsters," the younger teen replied slowly. "I gave you the proposal for it three months ago and you approved. Said it would look good for my college applications. I only planned to show up for a few days. You even said _you_ would show up for a meet-and-greet."

"I did?"

"Oh my God."

"I mean, of course I did. Because I'm a good brother. And also polite," the brunet stated, nodding to himself.

Mokuba shot him a dirty look but decided not to comment on it. "I mean, I guess I could go to camp if you really want me to?"

"Well, that's what normal people do."

The younger boy smiled. "If you really want to go to Kaiba-con, I can go to camp."

"Who says I want to go to Kaiba-con?!" Seto exclaimed frantically.

Mokuba smirked. "So you want me to go instead?"

Seto stared at him for a minute, then glared at him viciously. "I've raised you too well!"

"Soooo, you're going to the con then?" he asked innocently.

"I'd tell you to go to your room but you have everything in there that you could ever want!" the brunet snarled, and stomped out of the room. "Besides, I already sent my confirmation, so just go iron out the plans for your camp idea!"

"It's already smooth as butter," Mokuba replied smugly.

Seto poked his head back into the room, grinning dangerously. "You _might_ want to double-check that."

Mokuba narrowed his eyes as his brother disappeared from view with a cackle, then turned to his laptop and checked his email. He screamed with rage when he saw an email from the person he'd hired to supervise the camp, informing him that a dozen more kids had registered than they'd allotted money for. He'd have to scrape the money together from his personal funds, then, because he couldn't bear the thought of turning those hopeful kids away. How come Seto never had these problems with his ideas?!

"CONSTANT VIGILINCE!" he heard Seto cry from the kitchen, where he was probably stuffing his face with leftover ice-cream.

(Mokuba found a check signed by his brother beside his laptop the next day with 'camp funds' written in the memo. Seto was a jerk sometimes, but his heart was mostly in the right place, he decided. He still vigilantly kept watch over the funds for his camp like a hawk, though, because that had been embarrassing.)

.-.-.-.-.-.

Mokuba knew, in the back of his mind, that he shouldn't have been so surprised when he went to meet his brother at the door when he came home from the opening day of Kaiba-Con with his arms full of _Shadow Magic_ paraphernalia. But he was surprised. Like, turn around and walk the other way because you can't deal with it, surprised.

"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" Seto exclaimed frantically.

Mokuba turned back to face him, raising his eyebrow (_deservedly,_ Seto admitted glumly) at the sheer amount of plush Dark Magician Girls and Dark Valkyrias he was holding. He glanced at the life-size replica of Dark Magician Girl's magic staff in his hand, then the Dark Magician hat on his brother's head. "…It looks like you spent several hundred dollars on _Shadow Magic_ merch."

The brunet frowned and looked down at his purchases. "…Then it's exactly what it looks like."

"I feel like I need to get you into a twelve step program for manga addicts."

"Technically since I get all my work done and remember to eat and don't buy myself into bankruptcy, it's not a problem," Seto pointed out, smirking a little.

Mokuba stared.

The older boy's smirk faded a little. "That's what Caroline says."

Well, if his therapist didn't see a problem with it, Mokuba supposed that he could get behind his brother's non-destructive habits. At least he wasn't running himself into the ground trying to figure out ways to defeat Atem anymore. He still planned, but he didn't drive himself insane over it like he used to, before Caroline had slammed one of her glittery girly manga into his brother's face and told him to read it after an hour of plotting his duels against Yugi and Atem.

Admittedly, they were both amused and horrified about how into the series Seto got. Mokuba had maybe had a bit of a temper tantrum at Caroline after Seto had read the last book in the series and cried because the heroine's lover sacrificed himself ("THEY WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED THE NEXT DAY, MOKUBA!") and he'd had to comfort his older brother with a lot of 'there, there's and 'it'll be alright's. Caroline started pointing Seto toward shoujo series where there was always a happy ending.

"…Well. Did you bring me any cotton candy?"

"You don't need cotton candy," Seto replied shortly, and stomped past him toward the stairs.

"You always get me cotton candy!" Mokuba exclaimed in outrage. "Even when the con doesn't actually have cotton candy and you stop at the candy store!"

"His hands were full, sir," Roland supplied, handing him a paper stick covered in fluffy blue cotton candy.

The younger boy squeaked when he saw the bags he was carrying filled with even more anime and manga merchandise. One of the bags was filled entirely with weapons. "Seriously?!"

"…This is mine," Roland muttered, separating the weapons bag from the others.

"He got to you too?!" Mokuba gasped.

The bodyguard sniffed. "I've always been a fan of first person shooting games."

"Of course you are," the younger boy muttered, and violently ripped some cotton candy to stuff into his mouth.

(The first time Mokuba walks in on his brother playing with some of the plush toys, he turns around and walks right back out. Seto doesn't mention it. Mokuba decides not to bring it up either.)

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto has an entire room dedicated to his manga obsession. He's put up giant bookshelves that cover two of the walls, and they're filled to capacity in days. He buys more stand-alone shelves like one would see in a library to free up more wall space for posters. He sets up baskets and shelves for his plush toys, and the replica weapons he buys are displayed between the posters.

When the room gets too small, he moves his office and knocks the wall between them down to expand it. He puts up more bookshelves and more posters and more weapons, and he fills two of the giant bookcases with anime DVDs. He puts up a big-screen plasma TV and spends a lot of his free time catching up on anime.

Mokuba would worry, but Seto did the same thing with dragon figurines at one point, so he doesn't mind. Besides, this if a very good use of time, because he hasn't come home in a rage about losing a duel to Yugi or Atem in weeks. He knows, because Atem had expressed worry about his brother at one point because he hadn't been challenged for several weeks, and he was afraid Seto might be planning something actually painful for him.

And it might have been his loyalty to his brother, but Mokuba had been terribly amused by the former pharaoh's honest terror. He might be a terrible person.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Mokuba's not sure what convention his brother went to this time, but he probably should have called and warned him that he was having Yugi and his friends over for one last pizza and ice-cream party before school starts again.

Seto blinked at everyone, frowning, one hand holding an anime tote full of manga (actually, if it was from a con, it was probably doujinshi, which does not make it any better, but Seto always likes him to be specific), the other arm full of a few posters and plush toys. All of them were particularly girly; there were no if's, and's, or but's about it.

Seto blinked again, then flailed back behind the wall. "AGH!"

"What," Atem croaked around his spoon. He looked like his world had been tilted on its axis.

"Kaiba, do you want a bowl of ice-cream?" Téa asked politely, as if coaxing a wild animal.

Seto peeked around the corner of the wall. "With butterscotch?"

"We must have some butterscotch somewhere, if someone hasn't guzzled the bottle already," she answered, and elbowed Joey so he'd stop gaping and scoop a bowl of ice-cream for the brunet. She smiled encouragingly when he inched out from behind the wall and approached them, slowly setting his things on the couch. Her eyes lit up and she reached for one of the plush toys. "Is that a Dark Valkyria plush?"

"NO," the brunet snapped, yanking it from her hands, and stuffing it in the bag.

Téa stared, because it was definitely a Dark Valkyria plush and hiding it in a _Vampire Knight_ tote wasn't going to change that fact.

Joey stared at the older boy for a few minutes, mouth hanging open, before he remembered that he'd been squeezing butterscotch onto his ice-cream and jumped. He grimaced when he saw that he'd emptied almost half the bottle into it and wondered if he could just scoop some back into the bottle or if the crazy CEO would make him scoop a whole new bowl (and why exactly he was the only one who knew how to use an ice-cream scoop properly and well was beyond him).

Seto snatched the bowl out of his hands, poured in a shocking amount of rainbow sprinkles, and stirred before taking a bite. He looked pleased. Joey almost threw up, mostly because he liked butterscotch but not _that_ much, jeez.

Ryou peeked at the pile of manga merchandise and picked up one of the posters. "Ooh, _Honey and Clover._"

The brunet snarled and snatched it out of his hands. "This is a limited edition poster signed by the author!"

"…Really? I didn't know Chica Umino did that," the younger boy mumbled to himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Seto stared at him, baffled. "She doesn't. Unless you're me. And you're not."

Atem began poking one of the plush toys, frowning. "Kaiba, you hate Dark Magician."

The brunet flailed angrily. "Don't just poke that! That was hand-made by a woman in the Philippines!"

"…Why did you buy it hand-made from the Philippines?" the former pharaoh asked, baffled.

The brunet drew himself up indignantly. "She was the only one that could get his eyes just right and I refused to buy a subpar plush!"

Atem looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and poked it again.

Seto slapped his hand away and gave him the dirtiest look he could muster (which was pretty dirty, and Atem was adequately cowed, because he was almost scarier now than when he lost in a duel).

Joey approached and picked up a plush he recognized, smiling. "Hey, I think my sister has this one!"

"Why are you all touching my stuff?!" Seto roared, gathering his things and holding them protectively.

Mokuba scowled at him. "Seto, you need to learn to share!"

"You don't share your Capsule Monster things!" the brunet exclaimed angrily.

The younger boy stared at him, appalled that he would even suggest such a thing. "That's different!"

"Actually, I really don't think they're different at all," Tristan muttered, but shoved a spoonful of ice-cream in his mouth and glanced away when the two brothers turned glares on him. "Thish is delishish ishe-cweam."

"Just stop touching my stuff!" Seto snapped to the room at large.

Bakura reached toward him and placed his hand on the tote bag, smirking. "Touch."

Seto snarled and dropped everything, instead reaching over for his soupy butterscotch-ice-cream concoction and slamming it on the thief's head. "I SAID DON'T TOUCH!"

When the other boy sputtered and began rubbing his gooey head on the brunet's pants, Seto screamed angrily and grabbed another bowl (he wasn't sure whose bowl, but there was strawberry sauce in it) and began rubbing it in his face. Bakura snarled and grabbed a bottle of caramel and began squirting it in his face.

Mokuba hurriedly gathered up his brother's things and scampered out of the room before they could get ruined and his brother went off the deep end and killed everyone. Joey scooped up a fallen plush toy and followed him, because they were getting their food fight worryingly close to Téa.

When he stepped into the brunet's manga room, he could only gape. "Oh my God."

"…His therapist says it's okay," Mokuba mumbled self-consciously, certain that Joey would hold it over his brother for life.

"Oh. Well, if his therapist says it's okay, then…" He paused, then gasped. "IS THAT VASH THE STAMPEDE'S GUN?" He rushed over to one of the weapons that Mokuba had never paid attention to because he really didn't care and cooed over it. "This is the best moment of my life!"

Joey was just as much of a dork as his brother, Mokuba decided, pursing his lips.

They both jumped as they heard a bloodcurdling scream. The younger boy expected Joey to rush back downstairs immediately, but was surprised to find Joey grimacing and hiding behind one of the shelves. "Joey, what—"

"Either someone's gettin' murdered or they got ice-cream on Téa's brand new dress, and if it's the second one, I don't wanna die yet."

Mokuba took a moment to ponder that before he hunkered down beside him. "Okay."

When they finally braved going downstairs again, Téa was wearing some of Seto's clothes and glaring at everyone as Tristan scooped her a new bowl of ice-cream and Yugi carefully rubbed her shoulders. Seto and Bakura were tied up in a corner with the ties from the curtains.

Seto shot them a look that clearly stated 'I would rather be tied up over here than loose where she could get me.' They understood the sentiment, so they simply sat down and ignored the fact that the room was a mess and there were two people tied up in the corner, because it was just safer for everyone that way.


End file.
